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"overworking" poems
Failure. Everyone experiences it, In various shapes and forms, School. grades. friends. Life, Lots of frustration, Hard work and dedication, But still failed, Endless studying, Overworking oneself, Thoughts of achieving success, Like trying to find a needle in a haystack, The dream of getting the test, With the BIG A on it, Feeling the ease of the heavy stress, Uplift off the shoulders, Knowing that they did it, They made the dream they were striving for, Having the joy of saying, I have succeed. But the dream fades away, The feeling of coming out of a coma, To see yourself in class, Doing nothing, but daydreaming, You realized upon that, To be doomed to the fate, Of failing once again.
0
Feb 5, 2019
Feb 5, 2019 at 11:04 AM UTC
Failure
The pressure’s building up I feel like soda that’s been dropped. I feel like I’m about to explode And I know that soon I’ll pop. I know what’s about to happen And I need to escape this room. Where I go, I don’t know. But I need to flee the impending doom. I need to get to the clinic. There I know I’ll be fine. They always knows what to do; But can I make it in time? But no, it’s too late. My soda bottle has blown. I am no longer able to move, for The seed of anxiety has grown. Now I’ve collapsed, and My rational side has died. I can’t handle this-make it stop! My strength is again being tried. All the techniques I’ve memorized Have completely flown my mind. All the things I have prepared Are suddenly unable to find. “Don’t forget to just breathe!” Ah, yes, the mantra of those “helpful” ones. Well, here’s a newsflash for you- Being told that helps NONE! My lungs are overworking now, And my heart is beating fast. And every single breath I take I fear it might be my last. My hands have spiders in them. My brain has gone offline. My vision’s getting foggy; Please- just don’t pass out this time. My mind is leaving my body And it’s floating freely in air. I’m no longer able to feel anything Please help me; I’m so scared. Now I’m descending back to my body And I can feel every atom around me. It’s too much-make it stop! Why can’t anybody hear my plea? Luckily I calm down Before my monster gets his way. He’s returning back to hiding now But I know he’ll soon come back to play.
0
Jan 25, 2016
Jan 25, 2016 at 2:05 PM UTC
Panic Attacks Personified
The pressure’s building up I feel like soda that’s been dropped. I feel like I’m about to explode And I know that soon I’ll pop. I know what’s about to happen And I need to escape this room. Where I go, I don’t know. But I need to flee the impending doom. I need to get to the clinic. There I know I’ll be fine. They always knows what to do; But can I make it in time? But no, it’s too late. My soda bottle has blown. I am no longer able to move, for The seed of anxiety has grown. Now I’ve collapsed, and My rational side has died. I can’t handle this-make it stop! My strength is again being tried. All the techniques I’ve memorized Have completely flown my mind. All the things I have prepared Are suddenly unable to find. “Don’t forget to just breathe!” Ah, yes, the mantra of those “helpful” ones. Well, here’s a newsflash for you- Being told that helps NONE! My lungs are overworking now, And my heart is beating fast. And every single breath I take I fear it might be my last. My hands have spiders in them. My brain has gone offline. My vision’s getting foggy; Please- just don’t pass out this time. My mind is leaving my body And it’s floating freely in air. I’m no longer able to feel anything Please help me; I’m so scared. Now I’m descending back to my body And I can feel every atom around me. It’s too much-make it stop! Why can’t anybody hear my plea? Luckily I calm down Before my monster gets his way. He’s returning back to hiding now But I know he’ll soon come back to play.
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48
I feel like my brain has put an ad block on emotion And when I try to reach out for you I see a pop up warning me that No! This function cannot be accessed whilst an Ad Block is in use. So, I try to uninstall and reset the browser but I wake up just the same. An empty shell of technology, faulty wiring falling into the hands of those without the qualifications to find the on-switch. A brain both in standby and overworking, an overheating of wired vessels working overtime to provide life to a barely-functional heart. The quiet murmur of my breathing the only reminder that there is still something behind the blank screen. You try to keep your patience but I know you want to just throw me to the wall, an excuse to replace my shattered interface with the newest model. A model that doesn’t feel like it takes them 3 years to get out of bed every morning, a model that doesn’t seem to contract a new virus every day. Maybe I’m just tired, maybe I’ve run my course, maybe I’ve accidentally encountered malware. Maybe I am the malware. Or maybe, my brain has put an Ad Block on emotion. And when I try to reach out for you I see a pop up warning me that No! This function cannot be accessed whilst an Ad Block is in use.
0
Oct 17, 2018
Oct 17, 2018 at 12:26 PM UTC
Ad Block
not seeing straight curving my eyes inside enjoying the color of disorganized neutrons connecting themselves overworking their structure shooting feelings out to be seen as i glance again straight at you
0
Apr 12, 2010
Apr 12, 2010 at 7:40 PM UTC
Electrical Lightshow ment for You
The wind strikes from the sea. There is a cold from our side. Windows come to the north. We want to overcome the distance, to jump out on sails. The big blue is opening for us. We fall down pale with the breeze under our shirts. Time was working against our will. Slowly we are landing in this big jump out from overworking. The seagulls are laughing at us with yellow beaks.
0
Jul 30, 2021
Jul 30, 2021 at 6:37 AM UTC
cape seagulls
Underappreciated, For overworking. And yet look at what you expect! A smile every day and a simple 'No problem, I can take care of it.' And you answer the phone, Take your several smoke breaks, Try to impress the higher ups, While looking down on all of us.
0
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 9:35 PM UTC
Underappreciated
Playstation. Running as fast as it can. Lava flowing through, From component one, To component two. An engine. Overworking. Solder joints and Silicon, The things that break, Difficult to be undone. Metal and plastic. Assembled in crazy ways. So soon to be, In so many realities, A state of disrepair.
0
Oct 11, 2014
Oct 11, 2014 at 4:56 PM UTC
Overworking
Play overdoing overworking overthinking overeating overdrinking Pause the leftovers of me always lying over here over there Eject my seat overseas Game over.
0
Jul 30, 2013
Jul 30, 2013 at 12:09 AM UTC
Play, Pause, Eject
I wonder how many times you have climbed into a tub and thought, "Wow maybe I could drown in hopes of escaping my life." I dont know how many of you have thought that but let's just say a few. One: I step into the tub with my left foot and the water is immensely warm. Downing pills couldn't be that bad right now. Maybe I could grab the bottle without anybody noticing. I wonder if I could make my own concoction of medicine would suffice. Concoction is a funny word. Two: I step in with my right foot and everything is tingling from the heat. If I charge my phone from the plug over there by the sink, Could I electrocute myself? I wonder how bad electrocution hurts. Deep fried food would be nice right now. Three: I sink into the tub and pull my knees to my chest. if I lay back now and fight myself from breathing, Could I do it? I wonder how long it takes somebody to drown themselves in a tub while fighting their instinct to survive. I could adapt and grow gills. Four: I lay back into my tub and watch the water rise. The water is warm and my body is heavy. I can't **** myself because my headstone will be something sad, My funeral will play music I'll hate listening to as a ghost, People I don't even know will show up. What if my ex shows up? Five: I sink lower into the water until I can no longer hear clearly and it tickles the side of my eyes. What's the point in breathing. Breathing is so weird. Why do I have to maintain a body that's going to die anyways? I wonder what dying feels like. Six: I've been in here for an hour. Maybe I should get out. This water has turned mildly lukewarm. I'd like to stay but I'm getting kinda cold and I like the warmth. Could I just empty half and add more hot water? I am sitting in a pool of my own dirt. Great. Seven: I'm climbing out while simultaneously pulling the stopper. Theres so many different ways to say that you or somebody is dying; Kick the bucket. Pull the plug. One foot in the grave. Bite the dust. Croak. Some of them are kinda funny. Eight: Realizing that I love baths but hate the thoughts that come with the quiet bathroom. I'm exhausted. The mental kind of exhausted. Can I stop now? Can I just lay down and close my eyes? My anxiety is overworking me. Nine: I open my door with a stiff towel and a cold room. I love the quiet but the quiet kills. I love my mind yet the way it works is poisonous to me. Ten: Nothing. Sitting. Alone. In my empty bedroom.
0
Jul 17, 2017
Jul 17, 2017 at 1:17 AM UTC
Having Active Suicidal Thoughts While Not Being Actively Suicidal Featuring My Bath Tub
I wonder how many times you have climbed into a tub and thought, "Wow maybe I could drown in hopes of escaping my life." I dont know how many of you have thought that but let's just say a few. One: I step into the tub with my left foot and the water is immensely warm. Downing pills couldn't be that bad right now. Maybe I could grab the bottle without anybody noticing. I wonder if I could make my own concoction of medicine would suffice. Concoction is a funny word. Two: I step in with my right foot and everything is tingling from the heat. If I charge my phone from the plug over there by the sink, Could I electrocute myself? I wonder how bad electrocution hurts. Deep fried food would be nice right now. Three: I sink into the tub and pull my knees to my chest. if I lay back now and fight myself from breathing, Could I do it? I wonder how long it takes somebody to drown themselves in a tub while fighting their instinct to survive. I could adapt and grow gills. Four: I lay back into my tub and watch the water rise. The water is warm and my body is heavy. I can't **** myself because my headstone will be something sad, My funeral will play music I'll hate listening to as a ghost, People I don't even know will show up. What if my ex shows up? Five: I sink lower into the water until I can no longer hear clearly and it tickles the side of my eyes. What's the point in breathing. Breathing is so weird. Why do I have to maintain a body that's going to die anyways? I wonder what dying feels like. Six: I've been in here for an hour. Maybe I should get out. This water has turned mildly lukewarm. I'd like to stay but I'm getting kinda cold and I like the warmth. Could I just empty half and add more hot water? I am sitting in a pool of my own dirt. Great. Seven: I'm climbing out while simultaneously pulling the stopper. Theres so many different ways to say that you or somebody is dying; Kick the bucket. Pull the plug. One foot in the grave. Bite the dust. Croak. Some of them are kinda funny. Eight: Realizing that I love baths but hate the thoughts that come with the quiet bathroom. I'm exhausted. The mental kind of exhausted. Can I stop now? Can I just lay down and close my eyes? My anxiety is overworking me. Nine: I open my door with a stiff towel and a cold room. I love the quiet but the quiet kills. I love my mind yet the way it works is poisonous to me. Ten: Nothing. Sitting. Alone. In my empty bedroom.
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56
Don't take a lot to get this person inspired As his arms grow weak and tired Hoping to god he doesn't expire As passes on through the fire And chases what he admires Angel kisses that put faith in all he so desires But this ain't the same man who remember who wrote confessions Passed up selling his soul to gain a few more blessings People, anymore questions? I choose to plead the fifth Your antagonist ways slowly **** me like an active cyst As I clinch both my fist and prepare for hopeless battle With friends, family I love and those who truly matter A spoonful of pure disaster Mind bursting with thoughts... The hardest battle in my life is the one internally fought To think twice with gun while the devil dares you to pull the trigger and growing as an outcast a half Caucasian ni@@a who strikes with pure aggression, ignored but received the message Push every good woman away who probably could of gave him leverage To rise high to the sky, Jesus god me oh my A half empty glass full of broken dreams and tears from his eyes But denies it and just lies cause weakness is pain leaving the body He won't lower his guard for a single person, NOT NOBODY! But even a lion gotta know when to drop his pride and say sorry...so Sorry for all the issues, all I've ever put you through The truth is you was my biggest fan and I didn't wanna wish on you Father you are forgiven, It's times for me to start living Slaving my internal freedom, overworking them in my Hell's Kitchen Listen...cause I'm disappearing and placing my world in disguise **Thank you Hello Poetry Im calling it quits but it's been a great ride...alotta wishes inside...no longer feel the need to write...I'm done but I leave you with final piece "Lookin through his eyes"** live for every moment, love yourself Actually...don't take my advice (Do you)
0
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 9:47 PM UTC
"Looking through his eyes"
Don't take a lot to get this person inspired As his arms grow weak and tired Hoping to god he doesn't expire As passes on through the fire And chases what he admires Angel kisses that put faith in all he so desires But this ain't the same man who remember who wrote confessions Passed up selling his soul to gain a few more blessings People, anymore questions? I choose to plead the fifth Your antagonist ways slowly **** me like an active cyst As I clinch both my fist and prepare for hopeless battle With friends, family I love and those who truly matter A spoonful of pure disaster Mind bursting with thoughts... The hardest battle in my life is the one internally fought To think twice with gun while the devil dares you to pull the trigger and growing as an outcast a half Caucasian ni@@a who strikes with pure aggression, ignored but received the message Push every good woman away who probably could of gave him leverage To rise high to the sky, Jesus god me oh my A half empty glass full of broken dreams and tears from his eyes But denies it and just lies cause weakness is pain leaving the body He won't lower his guard for a single person, NOT NOBODY! But even a lion gotta know when to drop his pride and say sorry...so Sorry for all the issues, all I've ever put you through The truth is you was my biggest fan and I didn't wanna wish on you Father you are forgiven, It's times for me to start living Slaving my internal freedom, overworking them in my Hell's Kitchen Listen...cause I'm disappearing and placing my world in disguise **Thank you Hello Poetry Im calling it quits but it's been a great ride...alotta wishes inside...no longer feel the need to write...I'm done but I leave you with final piece "Lookin through his eyes"** live for every moment, love yourself Actually...don't take my advice (Do you)
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33
Play ball. Bathroom stalls. Cotton candy. Randy Jackson. Action films, comedies, and romances. Shopping malls. Blue ***** and hot chicks. **** itch. Shop lift. Pockets full of chocolates. A rock in my pocket reminds to think. I hate when my clothes shrink. Smoke rings. Chinese Yo Yos. ** Hos and a slurpee. 7 11, stopped for munchies and im thirsty. Working overtime. Overworking me. The herbal remedy has my mind fried. Blind sided. Hindsight is 20/20. Im lazy. The shades are pulled down. Its hazy. Inactive. Let me roll this blunt in the back seat of this cadillac. Two P, pass that. Im not looking to die. Im looking for life after death. Aftermath. Nothing left. Blasted, not bombs. Its my head and my chest. Its the sess. On my finger tips and on my breath. I exhale clouds of wickedness. Cleanse the soul. Refresh. Impress the judges to sway their interests.
0
Dec 2, 2011
Dec 2, 2011 at 12:51 AM UTC
Go with it
Proverbs make the essence of human behaviour bearable. On the contrary - human behaviour doesn't have such a tremendous impact on our thoughts. When you behave, you don't think much. You just do it! And if your habits are healthy, then you're a lucky one. Or a wise one. Discipline is in structuring your will. Strong will and work builds character. They say your character is your destiny. Practice !! And never forget: wether you're doing or non-doing ( wise or unwise for the observer ) ~ always listen to your heart. The heart has 5000 times stronger electro magnetic energy than our mind. Don't exhaust yourself overthinking or overworking. Discipline doesn't suffice for moments in which we have to make a decision. Some decisions are important. Don't ***** your life! Don't think too much!
0
Jun 8, 2015
Jun 8, 2015 at 3:51 PM UTC
Per aspera ad astra
My mania is kind and diligent that beautiful I woke up like this flawless It's warm and laughs at the most ridiculous things and so overwhelmingly optimistic glass half full with room for more My depression is ugly and scarred and sees all my flaws that haven't showered in weeks kind of hermit life there's a house and world outside of my bed it doesn't want me to see what a surprise My mania is caring and gentle taking me on treat yourself trips while overworking because there's work to be done and there's motivation to do it right now and we don't know when we'll have this again My depression is soft in actions but harsh in words and the feelings it creates It is too deep in my comfort space My mania usually keeps its visits short because staying would only make me act like a normal productive member of society and my depression claims that I can't be one of those for long and calls me back to the bed always back to the bed I'm sick of the bed Mania was visiting last week though so I know I'll be in bed for the next few months until my mania makes it's presence known once again I guess I'll wait here in my bed growing tired of the bed restless
0
Jul 31, 2018
Jul 31, 2018 at 11:14 PM UTC
Mania and Depression
Any day now, I'm either gonna **** somebody, or end up dead myself. Dramatic, I know. And hey, maybe nobody will take me seriously when I say that. Figures. So far, the only people who give a **** are the people who believe I'm still a good person. And I'm not saying they're wrong, I'm just saying it doesn't matter to me if they're right. Because I don't feel I deserve anything. I can never focus on anything. I'm writing this because I should be doing other work right now. But when I'm not thinking about this, I'm overworking, or sleeping, or crying again, or shouting again. I feel physically sick just being in this much pain. It's never gonna be driven out of my body until I get a **** miracle. But those aren't really coming my way. If karma is responsible for all of this than haven't I endured enough? Something needs to break the cycle. Or I just have to break. Act out, get expelled or suspended, consider the empty possibility of my thanatophobia finally leaving me. I stopped caring about myself when an old enemy decided to step in and come after me. But the remarkable thing is that I handled it without attracting more trouble. That doesn't mean it didn't pain me to set myself aside to do so. I'm not a complete pacifist. And my dangerous nature only gets stronger when left unquestioned by all. So yeah, I'm scared as hell of myself. But then again, so are other people.
0
Apr 29, 2017
Apr 29, 2017 at 2:18 AM UTC
Throwaway Letter #9
Is there really such a thing as "free time?" How can there be, when an hour spent practicing "self care" costs two hours of frantic writing and googling to finish an assignment due that very same day, when a day taken off of work costs two days worth of unpaid overtime to catch up on the overload, when a week spent recovering from another plunge into depression costs two more to find any semblance of order again. When did it become shameful to "stop and smell the roses?" When did we stop encouraging "family time" and start encouraging forty-hour work weeks? When did "taking a break" become synonymous with "being lazy" and "hard work" become synonymous with "overworking?" If making ends meet costs us our time, then what's the price of Happiness?
0
Jan 3, 2021
Jan 3, 2021 at 5:17 PM UTC
Expenses
You ever think of death? Some fear the thought of it, afraid because what they have done in this life.... will haunt them in the next. But others they can't wait to take the plunge, today a boy killed himself. I mean he took not his life, but the life that his parents put into him       How? Why?      I don't know. Can anyone answer my questions? Can anyone hear the thoughts that scream in my head of what really matters... It seems to me nothing does. Was it all pre-planed by a god the-- God? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know(Do I want to know?).............. Just the other day a boy was left out in the cold and died, he somehow got across town, away from his fraternity, his "brothers." Not just a few blocks away from my house. And with that, a girl, who I knew, died from sickness and overworking herself.... When she knew she was sick...... did she do this to herself? Was it known that all these people would die at these specific times, down to a point blank of the second,  because every movement, every thought, and choice they ever made led up to that moment of their life. Had this god made up their life, and known? It is weird to think that these peoples bodies are still here, yet lifeless.... how can a body be limp? How does a life leave? What causes it? What causes death, death of a body-of a soul leaving from a beating heart and thinking mind... Personalities gone. I don't know, and it hurts some part of me that I can't explain. I ask you to think of not being alive, of there to be nothing after death---- try. Try picturing a world without your thought. Going further than picturing a black nothingness....
0
Feb 27, 2013
Feb 27, 2013 at 11:55 PM UTC
Untitled
You ever think of death? Some fear the thought of it, afraid because what they have done in this life.... will haunt them in the next. But others they can't wait to take the plunge, today a boy killed himself. I mean he took not his life, but the life that his parents put into him       How? Why?      I don't know. Can anyone answer my questions? Can anyone hear the thoughts that scream in my head of what really matters... It seems to me nothing does. Was it all pre-planed by a god the-- God? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know(Do I want to know?).............. Just the other day a boy was left out in the cold and died, he somehow got across town, away from his fraternity, his "brothers." Not just a few blocks away from my house. And with that, a girl, who I knew, died from sickness and overworking herself.... When she knew she was sick...... did she do this to herself? Was it known that all these people would die at these specific times, down to a point blank of the second,  because every movement, every thought, and choice they ever made led up to that moment of their life. Had this god made up their life, and known? It is weird to think that these peoples bodies are still here, yet lifeless.... how can a body be limp? How does a life leave? What causes it? What causes death, death of a body-of a soul leaving from a beating heart and thinking mind... Personalities gone. I don't know, and it hurts some part of me that I can't explain. I ask you to think of not being alive, of there to be nothing after death---- try. Try picturing a world without your thought. Going further than picturing a black nothingness....
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16
By Joseph Childress Humans For Sale Our new product Was produced By the finest scientist Rigorous research Developed over ages With pages upon pages On the way's of Man Which have made it To this manual Our manuscript Comes with a planner To document The detailed descriptions Of the .Human Revolution. They carry out In your manner For we've finally discovered How to turn off it's soul! Our standard package Is for any industry We've oiled all it's joints For maximum mobility Whenever their overworking Strings stretch From their shoulders To allow shrugs At your command So it's hands Can work for hours While following your demands I know you puppeteers Take offense To puppet's tears Report any malfunctions If the manufactured Model shows emotion And we'll threaten Them with the fire That they use to own The titanium's knit tight Taught enough For the toughness of man The silver hooks Slide through slits Of flesh To make value Of the empty vessel The heart Serves as battery Connecting Copper veins To gain momentum In it's electric brain Our premium package Allows wireless extensions Of control... Behold! The new televised eyes Provide hallucinations In lucrative amounts Which will prove To be illustrious In it's illustrated sight The special effect On it's vision Is our last step In .Human Revision. Puppeteers!!! Our market Is uncontrolled The loopholes show The puppets inability To function The component of soul As owner Be satisfied Of the power They don't know
0
Mar 20, 2014
Mar 20, 2014 at 12:23 AM UTC
Humans For Sale
By Joseph Childress Humans For Sale Our new product Was produced By the finest scientist Rigorous research Developed over ages With pages upon pages On the way's of Man Which have made it To this manual Our manuscript Comes with a planner To document The detailed descriptions Of the .Human Revolution. They carry out In your manner For we've finally discovered How to turn off it's soul! Our standard package Is for any industry We've oiled all it's joints For maximum mobility Whenever their overworking Strings stretch From their shoulders To allow shrugs At your command So it's hands Can work for hours While following your demands I know you puppeteers Take offense To puppet's tears Report any malfunctions If the manufactured Model shows emotion And we'll threaten Them with the fire That they use to own The titanium's knit tight Taught enough For the toughness of man The silver hooks Slide through slits Of flesh To make value Of the empty vessel The heart Serves as battery Connecting Copper veins To gain momentum In it's electric brain Our premium package Allows wireless extensions Of control... Behold! The new televised eyes Provide hallucinations In lucrative amounts Which will prove To be illustrious In it's illustrated sight The special effect On it's vision Is our last step In .Human Revision. Puppeteers!!! Our market Is uncontrolled The loopholes show The puppets inability To function The component of soul As owner Be satisfied Of the power They don't know
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82
breakfast is the most important meal of the day which is something i would laugh off as my stomach would growl in my nutritions class and i learned to inhale sharply to somehow combat the noise the noise of my stomach screaming to the world in that backstabbing way that i am not eating breakfast nor did i eat much of dinner nor will i want to be able to stomach anything for lunch “i’m completely normal” my eating habits aren’t rapidly fluctuating i’m not sleeping during completely random times of the day trying to sleep off my body’s hunger like i can sleep off frustration (nutrients are a constant need they don’t just stop being things you need because you just don’t want anything in your body anymore) you used to want so much what’s so baffling is that sometimes hunger can feel like the muffled conversation riddled with worry hunger is the knocking on the door telling you that it wants to come in and you don’t want it to but for a reason you know makes no sense but it makes perfect sense in the moment when your brain shakes hands with itself and tells you that eating is for when the work is done when the reward is deserved that a need is a want and needs are intangible things that keep you socially alive rather than actually and then you ask yourself if you, wanting to feel alive is the problem when i don’t eat i am empty i don’t make ****** functions because my body cannot function and when i function, my body is empty and to keep my body empty i do not eat there is no beauty in feeling hollow breakfast is the most important meal of the day which is something i would laugh off as i could barely stand up in a hot shower as i could barely utter a conscious word without overworking my brain my brain that shakes hands with itself to communicate with itself that i do not deserve to eat food i do not deserve to feel alive i want eating to feel normal i want to put priority on food but i cannot bear to feel present but i cannot bear to be present when i do not feel present because i am not present i am not me
0
Nov 28, 2018
Nov 28, 2018 at 3:17 AM UTC
on dissociating and not eating
breakfast is the most important meal of the day which is something i would laugh off as my stomach would growl in my nutritions class and i learned to inhale sharply to somehow combat the noise the noise of my stomach screaming to the world in that backstabbing way that i am not eating breakfast nor did i eat much of dinner nor will i want to be able to stomach anything for lunch “i’m completely normal” my eating habits aren’t rapidly fluctuating i’m not sleeping during completely random times of the day trying to sleep off my body’s hunger like i can sleep off frustration (nutrients are a constant need they don’t just stop being things you need because you just don’t want anything in your body anymore) you used to want so much what’s so baffling is that sometimes hunger can feel like the muffled conversation riddled with worry hunger is the knocking on the door telling you that it wants to come in and you don’t want it to but for a reason you know makes no sense but it makes perfect sense in the moment when your brain shakes hands with itself and tells you that eating is for when the work is done when the reward is deserved that a need is a want and needs are intangible things that keep you socially alive rather than actually and then you ask yourself if you, wanting to feel alive is the problem when i don’t eat i am empty i don’t make ****** functions because my body cannot function and when i function, my body is empty and to keep my body empty i do not eat there is no beauty in feeling hollow breakfast is the most important meal of the day which is something i would laugh off as i could barely stand up in a hot shower as i could barely utter a conscious word without overworking my brain my brain that shakes hands with itself to communicate with itself that i do not deserve to eat food i do not deserve to feel alive i want eating to feel normal i want to put priority on food but i cannot bear to feel present but i cannot bear to be present when i do not feel present because i am not present i am not me
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67
A bridge broken from one side to another. A telephone wire cut. Something's wrong inside my head. The thing is, I don't know just what. Chirping alarms Whirring fans Smoky smells Red. Blinking. Lights. A robot whose been programmed wrong, An exposed sparking wire. The buttons don't click all the way. Hazardous, watch for fire. Danger Danger Danger Do not approach This automatic switch is supposed to make me excited This one makes a genuine smile. Nobody notices, though, that I'm on manual control And have been for a while. Overheating Overworking Overdoing Over Electricity and buttons and wires Do not mix well with water, I think. But because I'm in desperate need of repair I'm in constant thirst for a drink. "Should have bought that extended warranty." "Did you turn it off and on again?" No. No. Because it's broken. Hard drive shorting Lights are blinking And I'm thinking My last thoughts exporting Crackling Clicking Clattering Clanking Clunking The only thing that works well anymore Is the part that goes through the motions. Perseverance is my constant notion As I burn myself out on the shore. It's hot to the touch. Back off. Soon, it might Explode
0
Jul 5, 2018
Jul 5, 2018 at 9:14 PM UTC
Malfunction
A telephone wire cut. Something's wrong inside my head. The thing is, I don't know just what. Chirping alarms Whirring fans Smoky smells Red. Blinking. Lights. A robot whose been programmed wrong, An exposed sparking wire. The buttons don't click all the way. Hazardous, watch for fire. Danger Danger Danger Do not approach This automatic switch is supposed to make me excited This one makes a genuine smile. Nobody notices, though, that I'm on manual control And have been for a while. Overheating Overworking Overdoing Over Electricity and buttons and wires Do not mix well with water, I think. But because I'm in desperate need of repair I'm in constant thirst for a drink. "Should have bought that extended warranty." "Did you turn it off and on again?" No. No. Because it's broken. Hard drive shorting Lights are blinking And I'm thinking My last thoughts exporting Crackling Clicking Clattering Clanking Clunking The only thing that works well anymore Is the part that goes through the motions. Perseverance is my constant notion As I burn myself out on the shore. It's hot to the touch. Back off. Soon, it might Explode
0
Jan 26, 2019
Jan 26, 2019 at 8:05 PM UTC
Robot
life ***** friends change people leave life feels like a pattern of never ending sadness the minute I get happy 60 seconds later it's gone I'm an over thinker and I know that I get late night sadness and suddenly nothing else falls in place I feel a little numb and none of the puzzle pieces fit while people are leaving friends are changing and life is ******* I still do not get handed a break because my mind is overworking I get handed some loneliness and all the sudden every thought I have revolves around reasonings why no one will ever want me I'm the worlds best "worst thinker" and I'm sorry
0
Mar 31, 2016
Mar 31, 2016 at 12:21 AM UTC
thoughts
The destruction of this family has since been long overdue The clock has stopped moving since six o'clock The grandmother died of illness The father ran away with a ***** The mother collapsed from overworking herself The child left untended for too long Why this happened no one knows Since six o'clock they all left away Abandoned, forgotten, dead. The clock stopped at six o'clock, it was long overdue.
0
Jul 28, 2018
Jul 28, 2018 at 3:08 PM UTC
Long Overdue