"offguard" poems
Humor is funny,
because it is SO true.
Pop is a tune
because it rings true.
But art inspires
because it catches you
offguard —
you caught me
when you called me
beautiful.
You are art.
Aug 21, 2014
Aug 21, 2014 at 7:22 PM UTC
I really dont know how much time you have
Your bags are getting lower and I'm loving you a little too late
You're getting skinnier
You've lossed 30 lbs in 1 one month and I think this is your last year standing on earth
I think these are the months to pray
It's a little too late
Don't deny your sickness, when even you know you're ill
You once told my mom you dont pay the consequences here on earth, you pay them in the afterlife
You're paying them now
It must be horrible to live what you were planning to live in the afterlife
You're 25 x2 and I'm the mistake you love the most
Everytime I listen to Guilt Trip by Kanye West I shiver when Kid Cudi comes in
The line "If you loved me so much then why'd you let me go" hurts me so much
I remember you calling me a good for nothing
I think those words have become permanent to my thoughts
I think that's why I saw my self standing in a place for the hopeless a month and a half ago
I dont think I'll ever tell you that I love you face to face with pride in those words
Your figure is starting to become weak, and I'm beginning to worry
It's too late for that, I've come so far with a rope pulling me back
I think I've been walking backwards these passed 5 years
I didn't realize it before then
I don't think I know you well enough
I wish I knew who you truly are, soon to be were
What I do know is that you always pointed at my mother and yelled negativity
Now you're pointing at what grave you want to get buried in
You're paying death in my world you caused hell in
Consequences come in unexpected ways
I guess thats why death is catching you offguard
8 straight years hearing yells I hated
I was tired of it, but used to it as well
I'll always be your son.... dad
I wish things turned out differently
I wish you knew that deep down, I love you
The love you didn't show is slowly tying a rope around your neck
You'll always be my dad, you'll always be the monster I was scared of when I was little
You'll always be the screams of negativity in my ears that keep me awake some nights
You'll always be the July 29th I remember, always
You'll always be what made me who I am now
A suicidal passionate artist
And my friends will always try to defeat my inner war with their consoling words
What they don't know is that you'll always be with me
Even when I'm experiencing success
You'll always be there, to bring me down
And I love you for that..... dad
You'll always be my dad
And I'll always be your son you never showed love to
I love you
Jan 10, 2014
Jan 10, 2014 at 11:01 PM UTC
I think of you on days the odor of water makes me dry-heave.
Our photographs still throw me, offguard, into flashbulb memories. Every detail etched into my brain with a hot scalpel.
This isn’t an apology, this is a confession. I am not guilty in my eyes.
That was my hollow lava, this is what it crystallized into. Look at it, laugh at it, break it, keep it. My words were only meant to be beautiful in someone else’s eyes. In your eyes.
Drown my breath in a tub of sand, tell me everything that isn’t alright.
You can weave our veins into a dystopian novel, stamp it with 'fiction' and we can pretend it never happened.
The ordinary incinerated in your palms and I’m reeling from this hamartia.
Paint your carcinogens on my skin, carve them into my bones, punch them onto my eyes. Hold these hands one more time and feed me a blatant lie.
Feed me anything that’ll help me swallow these choked up cries.
I’ve wondered how the others were, how you were.
Was it art when you wrapped blindfolds around their necks?
What was it to them? How were they dying?
How am I dying?
Because I wake up in the odd hours, my chest feeling like it’s soaked in salt water,
and you’re standing at the edge of my bed,
with a mug of poison,
smiling,
telling me *it’s okay,
it’s just a bad dream,
here, I made some coffee.*
And I believe you.
Sep 13, 2015
Sep 13, 2015 at 9:22 AM UTC
Dear Love,
I hope
you will
catch me
offguard
Love always,
Your Mrs.
Nov 25, 2017
Nov 25, 2017 at 12:58 PM UTC
The little evidences of you fascinate me.
On my journey through
Someone else's words
I trip over your underlines and coffee stains.
Stumble and pause,
Wonder what you were doing or thinking
When you dogeared the page.
I don't know what that is.
Fascination, I guess.
I don't even know you.
I don't even know what I want from you.
But the proof that you held this book
Before I did
Captivates me.
What does it mean, that circled word,
To you? Words are so...
Personal.
They hold so many memories,
Such different thoughts
For everyone who reads them.
I find, as I excavate the loved pages of this book,
That I want in.
In
To your head, your heart.
I want to see your naked soul
In an offguard moment,
Before you can decide what and
What not
To show me.
As I travel the lines your pen has traced before
My fingers,
I want to know what made you put them there.
I want to know who you are.
And
More importantly, perhaps,
Why
I want to know who you are.
Sep 26, 2013
Sep 26, 2013 at 7:17 PM UTC
I returned from a foreign land
The land of Jesus
Israel.
I had only forgotten one thing
Over the course of two weeks
I forgot I had a blue bathtub
The tub of blue took me offguard
I stared at it for a long time
Then I had to accept the fact.
My bathtub was indeed blue
Jun 12, 2014
Jun 12, 2014 at 11:01 AM UTC
Emptiness? Loneliness?
Numbness
People start to rush by
Not noticing the world pass them by
Twilight dwindles, shining sun peers over the wall
Hoping to catch someone offguard
Feb 15, 2010
Feb 15, 2010 at 2:53 PM UTC
The Goddess of Time stands in the starlight,
Powerful and beautiful still,
She can see the day and the night,
And control my hearts, she will
The future, present and past
all inside her head,
Who would have known my love would grow so fast,
So much to be said
Worlds would turn and look,
Just to see her smile,
She caught me offguard, a moment it took,
All mistakes vanished for a while
Her lips found mine,
Absorbed my fears,
Suddenly lost in time,
Faded the tears
For now she has returned
and all the things that she knows,
Mistakes of space that burned
her head has cleared,
and I have back my powerful, beautiful Rose...
Oct 25, 2009
Oct 25, 2009 at 10:35 AM UTC
Talk to God but he never listens
So I talk to man who keeps the truth hidden
Life’s true meaning now stings
Birth of infidelity from deceit
Death of loyalty from loss of identity
There’s pain in secrets
Aches in words if we listen
Depth from days of thinking
Could the soul be empty
Lingering and searching
She spoke of my pain
She said she witnessed it for years
My bruised heart that craved for love
The very same one that caught me off guard
Should there be a reason for an act
Or a season to react
What would have been left without the pills
A damaged soul with nothing left to feel
Oct 27, 2018
Oct 27, 2018 at 3:08 AM UTC
Most of the time when people talk to me it catches me
...offguard
It's not that I don't like it or I don't want to
I just...
I'm not there
(please leave a message I'll be back as soon as possible)
But right now I'm blissfully lost in the ether of the otherness
It's quite a long trip back and the road is not clear
You are important to me I s w e a r
I just need a moment to collect my s el f into that person
That you call "Me" because I'm not her right now
I got lost
(again)
I'm not quite sure who I am at the moment
and quite frankly, you startled me !!!
because I am invisible right now
(How did you see through my spell
How did you not see right through me?)
and like magic
I am not r e a l
but you are painfully so
Dragging me back to my body time and time again
(my head hurts i think i have
whiplash)
Oh!
There I am and here you are!
Hello friend!
I'm back to myself again.
Oct 17, 2016
Oct 17, 2016 at 10:30 AM UTC
She could've chose to mend things like what you wanted
Instead, she send you crushing, just like that, you were ended
There is the choice for her to ask for space
But what was her response, it was already a closed case
You thought her choice to break it up was hurtful
Then she surprised you of total abandonment, what could've been more painful?
Simply, it was between two choices
To stay or to stray, it was the latter she chose
And she did it with style, she caught you offguard
No talk, zero communication, none at all... who would've thought?
That she could do to you what you told her was done to you before
Ironically, "hers", was more
Out of the many choices she could've had chose
She chose that
Let that sink in
Let that matter
Let you remember
Sep 12, 2017
Sep 12, 2017 at 1:43 AM UTC