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"oddity" poems
i. Queen O' queen, this is thy king Queen O' queen, this is thy king; Put thine amulet, around thy neck- For me. ii. Queen O' queen, this is thy king(10,9,8,7,6) Upon saturns ring's, a beloved dream; (5,4,3) Taketh mine hand, glideth the moon's with me. ( 2,1,liftoff) iii. This is thine king mine dearest queen Thou hath taken me far away, To the places only known By saint's and those whom pray. This is thy king mine dearest Queen Erelong love, tis thine hope I cling; And I'm higher in the most Ravishing way. Erelong dove, We'll maketh love in a holy way. iv. For here, am I dancing on the cosmos, Beyond angelic tunes, Thine eye's of cocoa tides, Blend's inside me As I rise. v. Though we've passed the universal edge I'm peaceful in thine presence Alive or dead; I feeleth the dark matter- Bubble around in mine head, as Nirvana's In ourn sight's, Zion's breath. Queen O' queen, looketh ahead The stream's; their flowing as Milk and honey tree's Touch ourn feet, A tranquil homestead. vi. For here, am I dancing on the cosmos, Beyond angelic tunes, Thine eye's of cocoa tides, Blend's inside me As I rise....... ©Brandon Nagley ©Lonesome poets poetry ©Earl Jane Nagley(Filipino rose) dedicated
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Jan 13, 2016
Jan 13, 2016 at 7:58 PM UTC
Queen O' queen, this is thy king ( remake of david bowie's space oddity) in remembrance of david bowie.
I was flabbergasted when given the chance To join the renowned Roscoe's Oddity Of Circus With no actual talent to speak of I was pretty much dead in the water worthless But Roscoe in all of his wisdom Put me in charge of the Bubble machine Low and behold people Turns out...Bubbles is "ME" I started out with simple patterns Blowing one treasure at a time As things progressed rather quickly I soon had Bubbles dancing in Mumba lines There wasn't a Bubble imagined In which I could not achieve But like I said at the very start Turns out...Bubbles is "ME" I even perfected what I like to call The "Fantabulious Bubbles De jour" In the Bubble circles in which I blow I've become quite the Bubble Lore My Bubble forte soon became Floating Bubbles of Super Stars *I'm not one to "POP" Bubble names* Suffice it to say you know who they are These days you don't have to go to the Circus If you'd like my talent to see I'm the one who does those Bubbles with the tiny words In the Sunday comics you read Why I've even been to the U.N. Where the "Big Cheese" was highly pleased The way I blew name tags and place mats For all the visiting Dignitaries But my favorite pastime after all these years Even with all the fortune and fame I've found Is relaxing with my Circus buddies And blowing Bubbles of "Bubbles the Clown" Just think when I joined the Circus I had no talent in which to show Who knew all it was that I needed Was one good bubble to blow
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Apr 11, 2013
Apr 11, 2013 at 8:16 AM UTC
* Bubbles *
Spurs in a grass hill wind blowing up your skirt honey and money sweet and selfish i like you touching my body and i like touching yours love oddity bright city and glistening sun gilded skin i need my fishing rod when im around you need the compliments that i might complete your outfit by the end of night
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Oct 5, 2017
Oct 5, 2017 at 3:25 PM UTC
killing me softly
It’s bad enough I’m just known as that squiggly piece of the alphabet but what’s worse are the jokes of Why the long face Kevin? Those are the times when I wish I could give as good as I get it's not as bad as facing the guys with bloated stomach and *** and have the amoebas ribbing me incessantly ****** single celled creatures** They have an idea, but they can’t guess Poseidon take you Janet! for leaving me in such a mess! You take all of me without leaving just a single ounce of pleasure and I’m left birthing your demon spawn You were just a mistress Seahorse in disguise weren’t you? I’m no longer an oddity now I’m something less *Seahorse blues a male in distress*
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Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 8:49 AM UTC
Seahorse Blues
Your love begs the release of this immunity. You see,despite my growing ****** I remain an oddity.
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May 11, 2015
May 11, 2015 at 6:38 PM UTC
Discreet(First Stanza)
I think that I shall never see A thing as odd as eight baby Eight baby from a single mother Makes me roll my eyes- oh brother Oh sister oh brother oh sister oh yeah Mother looked like a Guernsey cow Is there milk enough- I don't see how? Eight colic'd infants wailing in the night- Draw back, draw back- go fly a kite Eight fitful babies screaming in duress- Moved far away left no forwarding address Eight poopy babies dragging two pound diapers Went to the car wash and used the windshield wipers Eight teething babies wrangling on the bed- Picked up a gun and blew off her head.
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Mar 10, 2010
Mar 10, 2010 at 9:49 AM UTC
An Oddity
I remember the days when a broken glass was just a broken glass, a poem was just a poem, a wrist was just a wrist  — and not a headstone for sunlights, melting; flowers, wilting; mirrors, breaking. Now, it shows half summer smiles, half dead and sunken cheeks — an oddity that is Persephone, unhinged and descending into darkness and maybe one day, I'll feel the haunted murmurs beneath my feet and not in my head — not in the poems I cannot write again, Now, the mirror shows my aching — it shows my waiting for death to show up at the doorstep as though it was an estranged husband finally coming home. Slip your grief into Demeter's hands — lithe. Graceful, and drenched in sunlight. I remember back when this was an abduction and not a quiet, slow dance with death. Slip your sighs, carefully now, into Demeter's forsaken hands — I remember how breaths ended in mine. // "Maybe Persephone chased her death."
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Dec 24, 2020
Dec 24, 2020 at 2:18 AM UTC
Persephone and Demeter
"Move" they say and put martingale on with a neigh Thai pony in Chiang Mai A green patch of grass was what your heart desires would yourself like a chew of truss? In the forest with no name on hard concrete without an aim swimming with the tuk-tuk wave "Where am I?" you ask with side-patched eye "My knees are soft like a microwaved pie" But all you ever get is a whip on the back from the oddity with some leather strap "Why are you so hesitant while all the other stallions are competent don't you know the creatures in the carriage are very important?" "How important are the vultures in the world I don't know but I know that I won't say no if you borrow a thread of my hair for a violin bow and play their funeral march with it to and fro"
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May 20, 2014
May 20, 2014 at 11:39 AM UTC
Quitting A Soulless Job
453 Love—thou art high— I cannot climb thee— But, were it Two— Who know but we— Taking turns—at the Chimborazo— Ducal—at last—stand up by thee— Love—thou are deep— I cannot cross thee— But, were there Two Instead of One— Rower, and Yacht—some sovereign Summer— Who knows—but we’d reach the Sun? Love—thou are Veiled— A few—behold thee— Smile—and alter—and prattle—and die— Bliss—were an Oddity—without thee— Nicknamed by God— Eternity—
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Love—thou art high
I abuse words verbally like my voice is Bobby and the dictionary Whitney/ Like a literary hyperbole properly arranged to explain this deranged brutality perfectly/ Force the English language to work for me like a particularly dark time in history/ Optimistically take the tongue twister trickery and aggressively attack a vocabulary vocally and personally/ Not physically but a barrage on your psyche, almost psychedelically/ Use words medically, like a surgeon I expertly plant thoughts whispered softly but assertively/ Moving letters like chess pawns to express thoughts masterfully and creatively/ Gruesomely grotesque but gorgeous thoughts written down beautifully/ You can't help but hear the perplexity of mythoticly placed words with comradery/ An oddity with the audacity to raise the bar and up the capacity/ Because what comes out of me has to be exactly what you see because it is me/                 Not just a part of me but all of me/ I'm not a fallen tree sitting in the forest silently, quietly all by my lonely/ It's just the opposite actually and factually/ I will attack with a dialect so violent you violently retract causing you to react cowardly automatically/ I don't even have to lift a pinky, leave it stinky/ Let my words linger there in the air like **** smoke, thick and sticky/   Periodically come back to peek and see if you've figured out the mystery and found the key/ One that'll decipher decisively what it is that I've let out of me and spread to all humanity/ I could never have planned it, see, it had to happen naturally, organically if you will/ And not to build it up falsely but I honestly, back then, didn't have the ***** to let it out of me and it cost me considerably/ So now this mastery I hold of word delivery bestowed to me gets jotted down feverishly/ With an intensity equal to none inside of this ******* century, can't censor me/ Got a consistency that forces me to constantly cross the border of insanity repeatedly/ Time only to watch my talents as they literally wither away for all of eternity/ Such a tragedy to see such agony but please, no apology brought on by sympathy/ Just let me be as I drift farther out to sea to a place you'll never see/ To let these words mold me into someone you could never be/ ©2018
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Apr 6, 2018
Apr 6, 2018 at 4:00 AM UTC
~•§•~ Verbal Abuse ~•§•~
I abuse words verbally like my voice is Bobby and the dictionary Whitney/ Like a literary hyperbole properly arranged to explain this deranged brutality perfectly/ Force the English language to work for me like a particularly dark time in history/ Optimistically take the tongue twister trickery and aggressively attack a vocabulary vocally and personally/ Not physically but a barrage on your psyche, almost psychedelically/ Use words medically, like a surgeon I expertly plant thoughts whispered softly but assertively/ Moving letters like chess pawns to express thoughts masterfully and creatively/ Gruesomely grotesque but gorgeous thoughts written down beautifully/ You can't help but hear the perplexity of mythoticly placed words with comradery/ An oddity with the audacity to raise the bar and up the capacity/ Because what comes out of me has to be exactly what you see because it is me/                 Not just a part of me but all of me/ I'm not a fallen tree sitting in the forest silently, quietly all by my lonely/ It's just the opposite actually and factually/ I will attack with a dialect so violent you violently retract causing you to react cowardly automatically/ I don't even have to lift a pinky, leave it stinky/ Let my words linger there in the air like **** smoke, thick and sticky/   Periodically come back to peek and see if you've figured out the mystery and found the key/ One that'll decipher decisively what it is that I've let out of me and spread to all humanity/ I could never have planned it, see, it had to happen naturally, organically if you will/ And not to build it up falsely but I honestly, back then, didn't have the ***** to let it out of me and it cost me considerably/ So now this mastery I hold of word delivery bestowed to me gets jotted down feverishly/ With an intensity equal to none inside of this ******* century, can't censor me/ Got a consistency that forces me to constantly cross the border of insanity repeatedly/ Time only to watch my talents as they literally wither away for all of eternity/ Such a tragedy to see such agony but please, no apology brought on by sympathy/ Just let me be as I drift farther out to sea to a place you'll never see/ To let these words mold me into someone you could never be/ ©2018
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What was it exactly about this rasta. He seemed so to be out of time an oddity then. He stroked the gong that resonates still Nothing can dim his light His message still reverberates With all who hear his call. A natural mystic sinking tap roots from far out. Kaya budz meets Buffalo soldier and they journey to Transendentia. Dread lion with Dread locks . Earth shoes and soccer socks. Ras Nesta walking through di concrete jungle. Nevah know what sweet rest is in disya concrete jungle. When you think it's  peace and safety.A sudden destruction Collective security, for surety. From the Tenement yard to  a Pimpers paradise . Lining up to run in the rat race. Live if you wanna live . Glazed over Duppy conqueror. Seeing past all limitations Rastaman vibration. Positive.
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Oct 20, 2012
Oct 20, 2012 at 12:47 PM UTC
Marley
The most luminous example of a fallen angel An ignored history.. A need for attention.. We define The Humanity Problem globally.. Let me enter the mind of a killer Let me learn from within the mind of a saint I will calculate the sociology  The norms killing our psychology  With pad and pen as my everlasting friend.. I want to burn in hells  I seek to bask in heavens Show me the soul in my eyes Weathering through a common storm.. People will find the real normal.. If they love themselves and help others.. It should be an oddity to erase normality  And so it exists only as a common standard.. That is how I grew up.. What if we ended expectations? What if we embraced change? Compassion could be a global comeback.. There is a nature in duality.. Humans engraved into double-edged swords.. If we could create love and war.. We may be able to end our battles.. We could live with evidence and compassion.. Ending our need to be beautiful, better or rich As an American.. I am built of guilt I suffer.. I displayed kindness, love and compassion  I valued evidence over assumption Pointed out an economy of overconsumption Only to be labeled as.. 'Sheep' 'Idealistic' So.. to my fellow kinsmen and women.. Open up a dictionary.. If I am a sheep.. We as a whole are not shephards.. Who do you look for to guide you? Isn't America obviously lost? We are defined as sheep by a globe called Earth Currently? Like it or not.. They're right.. I am not powerful I am weak Despite the ego of America.. I am no sherpah.. I am no sheep.. I will never be a shephard.. I will only ever be me.. Think of you when at your happiest.. Revel in the lessons of how that was stolen.. It will be Hell.. I'll be blunt with that fact.. Want peace? Face it. Face you.  Deflate all of your ego. We need to bring back who we were long ago.. We need to care and foster Hope.. Eradicate foolish hate.. Value intelligence and knowledge.. Divided we are destined to **** and die.. But.. United? We could be a beacon of hope.. A beacon brighter than God, who we're under An American Beauty.. That has shed her mistakes.. To let go.. Of her American Ego..
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Mar 10, 2021
Mar 10, 2021 at 2:23 AM UTC
American Ego, American Beauty (The Humanity Problem)
The most luminous example of a fallen angel An ignored history.. A need for attention.. We define The Humanity Problem globally.. Let me enter the mind of a killer Let me learn from within the mind of a saint I will calculate the sociology  The norms killing our psychology  With pad and pen as my everlasting friend.. I want to burn in hells  I seek to bask in heavens Show me the soul in my eyes Weathering through a common storm.. People will find the real normal.. If they love themselves and help others.. It should be an oddity to erase normality  And so it exists only as a common standard.. That is how I grew up.. What if we ended expectations? What if we embraced change? Compassion could be a global comeback.. There is a nature in duality.. Humans engraved into double-edged swords.. If we could create love and war.. We may be able to end our battles.. We could live with evidence and compassion.. Ending our need to be beautiful, better or rich As an American.. I am built of guilt I suffer.. I displayed kindness, love and compassion  I valued evidence over assumption Pointed out an economy of overconsumption Only to be labeled as.. 'Sheep' 'Idealistic' So.. to my fellow kinsmen and women.. Open up a dictionary.. If I am a sheep.. We as a whole are not shephards.. Who do you look for to guide you? Isn't America obviously lost? We are defined as sheep by a globe called Earth Currently? Like it or not.. They're right.. I am not powerful I am weak Despite the ego of America.. I am no sherpah.. I am no sheep.. I will never be a shephard.. I will only ever be me.. Think of you when at your happiest.. Revel in the lessons of how that was stolen.. It will be Hell.. I'll be blunt with that fact.. Want peace? Face it. Face you.  Deflate all of your ego. We need to bring back who we were long ago.. We need to care and foster Hope.. Eradicate foolish hate.. Value intelligence and knowledge.. Divided we are destined to **** and die.. But.. United? We could be a beacon of hope.. A beacon brighter than God, who we're under An American Beauty.. That has shed her mistakes.. To let go.. Of her American Ego..
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67
I can see it now, I was in 4th grade and we were all saying the pledge of allegiance with our hands over our hearts. "One nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all." I always thought it was "invisible". One nation, under God, invisible. It suddenly turned our nation into a superhero with the sickest super power ever, invisibility. Our nation was leaping over buildings and fighting crime in the moonlight with a bad *** sidekick named God. One nation, under God, invisible. That's what i have become to this sidekick, invisible. I subsequently have fallen victim to the rare oddity that is my brain and finally realized that God doesn't even know who i am. Suddenly, this nation was not jumping over tall buildings, it was blocking the sunlight and causing an eclipse. One nation, under God, invisible. I am invisible in this darkness of the night. But i searched for the moon relentlessly, knowing that it was my only chance of finding my way out of here. And once i found it, i held it in my arms, cradled it like a sleeping baby and careful not to wake it up because once it awakens it must escape to the sky and will no longer be mine. But to no avail, the moon was awake and whispered to me, "Dear child, did you really think you could escape God?"
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Dec 6, 2013
Dec 6, 2013 at 1:59 AM UTC
I held the moon once
He was always a quiet man, never seemed to look up... as if his eyes were afraid of what it might mean to see the sky His gaze seemed neither fierce, nor soft. Neither attentive or lost He would never look at you, it was as if he was looking everywhere except where you happened to be. I never saw a smile cross his lips I never heard a laugh escape his lungs I never heard him curse I never heard him yell When he spoke, I could hear the dust falling off his breath It wasn't a monotone sound, but I imagine he sounded like what trees or mountains would sound like, had they voices. He existed in the loosest sense of the word He was an oddity and an enigma His quietness and unobtrusiveness could be somewhat offputting Yet...he was often able to blend into the background like a rain drop in a storm. You can imagine our surprise when he stumbled into town one hot afternoon, clothes looking like he'd fallen into a vat of red paint. Splattered. Head to toe. In between his head and his toes, cradled in his arms, was the body of a young girl He had found her in the woods, he had said, voice devoid of emotion. She had been lying off the path, in a pool of crimson. An investigation turned up nothing The people, in need of a murderer, settled on the only man they could. The man who hadn't shed even one tear over the death of a young child The trial was a farce The kangaroo court adjourned Death by hanging The man remained silent throughout the proceedings.  Quietly answering the frothing prosecutor's questions with the same demeanor as someone would use when discussing the weather He wasn't defensive He wasn't derisive He didn't plead, nor pray when the verdict was announced On the day of the execution nearly everyone in town was in attendance Most of them couldn't tell you why The noose around his neck, he stared back at the crowd.  Stared through them, as if they didn't exist. When the rope snapped taut, The man flailed as his body involuntarily spasm'd. When he finally passed, his body swinging lazily under the gallows, I caught the hint of a smile Only for a moment. I found it odd That he would only show a sign of life as it was ending
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Jan 27, 2015
Jan 27, 2015 at 12:18 AM UTC
The Hanged Man
He was always a quiet man, never seemed to look up... as if his eyes were afraid of what it might mean to see the sky His gaze seemed neither fierce, nor soft. Neither attentive or lost He would never look at you, it was as if he was looking everywhere except where you happened to be. I never saw a smile cross his lips I never heard a laugh escape his lungs I never heard him curse I never heard him yell When he spoke, I could hear the dust falling off his breath It wasn't a monotone sound, but I imagine he sounded like what trees or mountains would sound like, had they voices. He existed in the loosest sense of the word He was an oddity and an enigma His quietness and unobtrusiveness could be somewhat offputting Yet...he was often able to blend into the background like a rain drop in a storm. You can imagine our surprise when he stumbled into town one hot afternoon, clothes looking like he'd fallen into a vat of red paint. Splattered. Head to toe. In between his head and his toes, cradled in his arms, was the body of a young girl He had found her in the woods, he had said, voice devoid of emotion. She had been lying off the path, in a pool of crimson. An investigation turned up nothing The people, in need of a murderer, settled on the only man they could. The man who hadn't shed even one tear over the death of a young child The trial was a farce The kangaroo court adjourned Death by hanging The man remained silent throughout the proceedings.  Quietly answering the frothing prosecutor's questions with the same demeanor as someone would use when discussing the weather He wasn't defensive He wasn't derisive He didn't plead, nor pray when the verdict was announced On the day of the execution nearly everyone in town was in attendance Most of them couldn't tell you why The noose around his neck, he stared back at the crowd.  Stared through them, as if they didn't exist. When the rope snapped taut, The man flailed as his body involuntarily spasm'd. When he finally passed, his body swinging lazily under the gallows, I caught the hint of a smile Only for a moment. I found it odd That he would only show a sign of life as it was ending
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75
Little baby bird, you fell from the nest all too soon. Dreaming of your wings scraping the sky, now you're left battered and bruised. I passed by one day, a stranger, an obscure oddity. What a coincidence that I needed someone to fix, and you had fallen right in front of me. I scooped you up, whispering promises that I'd keep you safe. Carried you back to my home, and on passed the days. Autumn rolled around, and soon I realized, I was a sucker for this baby bird and his puppy dog eyes. But would it be selfish, would it be unfair? To never teach you how to fly, afraid you'd swoop up into the air, and set off for somewhere new, forgetting little old me..? Forgetting that my only goal in life was to make you happy? So I'll patch you up, and I'll let you go. But I'll leave my window open, just so you know.. If you're ever in trouble, if you ever need a home.. You know where to find me. I'm yours, and I've always been. Even before you met me. Even before we existed.
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Nov 5, 2013
Nov 5, 2013 at 6:15 PM UTC
Baby Bird
Oh my cheerful little ******* They hadn’t any notion Of all the silliness, of all the commotion One day their purpose would change Temporarily my body would rearrange Their use not merely ****** Suddenly they were meant to be practical Away with my decorative commodity Hello to something of an oddity So I traded in those dainty little things For two mountains bursting with springs Slowly the transformation took place Albeit lacking in grace Oh, my lovely unpresumptuous ******* Had become so useful, for that I am blessed My zippy little ****** had grown to such size And areola darkened and saucerish in guise So to you I must ask a serious question, After this, my descriptive dissection I borrowed my ******* why be afraid? It is the babes whose homage will be paid The ******* that had been lent, weren’t ****** or vile You might even go so far as to beguile Because their most typical use was on hold Their new purpose should’ve been a sight to behold Instead people like to glorify or shame As if those ******* are actually the same Forget your twisted ****** mind And to breastfeeding mothers try to be kind
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May 5, 2017
May 5, 2017 at 11:37 AM UTC
Borrowed *******
Thesis: There's an easy way to disprove that ignorance equals bliss:                               Your eyes were puzzles of space-time, studied through conversations fervent in their background noise- where I looked for one single oddity in what might have been the ordinary, except it wasn't. Space-time distorts around things of great                                         gravity and your light-consuming pupils pulled me towards you. Complexity, hidden in some unsuspecting darkness that I was dragged into... things I didn't understand until I reach our event horizon       and you and I are one. (As for my thesis: what great Nothing would we have been if I skyrocketed away for fear of the unknown?)
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Sep 1, 2014
Sep 1, 2014 at 2:52 PM UTC
Space-time
They ask, why care so much? Simple, my ancestors blood and bones are the foundation of this nation. But that isn't your blood or mine? We have come a long way! True but broken chains don't free us from shackles, and half measures can’t get us across the finish line. If you hate it so much leave! In case you missed point one I'd much rather fix what's broken. I want to make sure that the stacked deck is reshuffled. That kids don't have to grow up in war zones, where the only way out is debt or a casket. Where people don’t get to profit from the very thing that took others freedom. I want a playing field that all can use, where the rules make sense and the enforcers are kind. Where I'm not the oddity for never having been behind bars. That people realize that there's more to our culture than our bars. I'm over the 40 acres I want 24 Oscar's. Maybe then I'll see myself on more than just ESPN and MTV. Others have it far worse than you! Well then let's elevate them too. A rising tide raises all ships. So let's create a flood that washes out the hate. When will people realize that we aren't enemies. That the system crushing you is already destroying me. If they can put people in cages for where they were born then Eastside or south of the border are just bad hands we are dealt. I don’t know how to fix it but I care too much to be quiet. So thanks for reading my thoughts, but will you stay silent?
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Jun 19, 2019
Jun 19, 2019 at 9:32 PM UTC
Juneteenth
This oddity so rare, and unaccustomed to me My 'family' is one of hate. Of disrespect and fist fights. Broken and filled to the brim in grudges.  When we all have opinions, no one budges. Such a normality to hear rinsing of knuckles after a fired conversation. Is this family? Can growing up with this be childhood? Maybe this is why I feel much older than I am.  Feeling much more than my years.  Raised in a fired household, A home up in blaze. No one in this family even seems phased, .... But I, I am.
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Oct 1, 2012
Oct 1, 2012 at 2:47 PM UTC
Family?
Hope is an oddity to me. It is a double-edged sword. Just enough keeps one going. Too much can leave one in despair. Throughout my life I have struggled to sustain a suitable balance between hope and despair. The two seem to be interrelated for me. There were days, even moments, where I had hope that my life would improve. I saw a way out, I found someone who seemed to care for me, I made it through an entire night unharmed... These things gave me hope. I was hopeful. Then there were other days, even moments, where I was filled with despair. My hope was lost. My heart was sick. There was no way out, everywhere I turned I was met with hatred or disbelief, I was torn apart at night only to be met with "nothing happened" in the morning... These things destroyed my hope. I was hopeless. My inner struggle between hope and despair kept me alive. I firmly believe this. This same struggle keeps me alive, even today. Too many times I have thought that there was no way out so I surrendered myself to dying. But over and over hope has surfaced. So I fought. Sometimes I fought against hope. Sometimes I fought for it. It was a sickening cycle. Some days, even now, it is with a sick heart that I press forward. Today it is with a sick heart that I write. The enormity of my past is weighing down upon me. Normalcy seems to be nothing more than a fleeting hope. One step forward, two steps back. Hope and then despair. My head is screaming once again. It seems that everyone want their say. Everyone wants to be heard. I am one and they are many. Today is a day where I am screaming at them to shut the **** up yet no one hears me. They drown me out and I feel powerless. Today he is in every corner, no matter where I turn. He is smiling, licking his lips, and he is laughing at me. I tell myself that things are different now; things are better. He laughs harder. Despair is setting in and I am feeling myself surrender while keeping one eye slightly open on the off chance that hope is in another corner that I just can't see yet. Today is despair with a sick heart. Perhaps tomorrow is hope paired with desire. One can always hope...
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Aug 10, 2014
Aug 10, 2014 at 7:12 PM UTC
Hope and Despair
Hope is an oddity to me. It is a double-edged sword. Just enough keeps one going. Too much can leave one in despair. Throughout my life I have struggled to sustain a suitable balance between hope and despair. The two seem to be interrelated for me. There were days, even moments, where I had hope that my life would improve. I saw a way out, I found someone who seemed to care for me, I made it through an entire night unharmed... These things gave me hope. I was hopeful. Then there were other days, even moments, where I was filled with despair. My hope was lost. My heart was sick. There was no way out, everywhere I turned I was met with hatred or disbelief, I was torn apart at night only to be met with "nothing happened" in the morning... These things destroyed my hope. I was hopeless. My inner struggle between hope and despair kept me alive. I firmly believe this. This same struggle keeps me alive, even today. Too many times I have thought that there was no way out so I surrendered myself to dying. But over and over hope has surfaced. So I fought. Sometimes I fought against hope. Sometimes I fought for it. It was a sickening cycle. Some days, even now, it is with a sick heart that I press forward. Today it is with a sick heart that I write. The enormity of my past is weighing down upon me. Normalcy seems to be nothing more than a fleeting hope. One step forward, two steps back. Hope and then despair. My head is screaming once again. It seems that everyone want their say. Everyone wants to be heard. I am one and they are many. Today is a day where I am screaming at them to shut the **** up yet no one hears me. They drown me out and I feel powerless. Today he is in every corner, no matter where I turn. He is smiling, licking his lips, and he is laughing at me. I tell myself that things are different now; things are better. He laughs harder. Despair is setting in and I am feeling myself surrender while keeping one eye slightly open on the off chance that hope is in another corner that I just can't see yet. Today is despair with a sick heart. Perhaps tomorrow is hope paired with desire. One can always hope...
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607 Of nearness to her sundered Things The Soul has special times— When Dimness—looks the Oddity— Distinctness—easy—seems— The Shapes we buried, dwell about, Familiar, in the Rooms— Untarnished by the Sepulchre, The Mouldering Playmate comes— In just the Jacket that he wore— Long buttoned in the Mold Since we—old mornings, Children—played— Divided—by a world— The Grave yields back her Robberies— The Years, our pilfered Things— Bright Knots of Apparitions Salute us, with their wings— As we—it were—that perished— Themself—had just remained till we rejoin them— And ’twas they, and not ourself That mourned.
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Of nearness to her sundered Things
Scribbles on a yellow notepad, this ink won't last Letting sweat dry from a long walk, half way there I didn't notice it on my first passing, or my second Third time is the charm they say, don't they? Now I sit in this scummy drainage ditch, writing A tree, growing from a pile of waste concrete Dumped carelessly by rough, tired, hands Green leaves adorn it, this oddity, only a sapling Like a flower on the peak of Mount Everest Or an ice cube in the middle of the Gobi This is not so grand, this urban contradiction Some day it will be as tall as me, maybe taller Stretching its limbs, eroding its base Praising sun rays through photosynthesis Pushing down roots through man made constructions Reclaiming the soil from which all life springs & returns
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Oct 4, 2010
Oct 4, 2010 at 5:12 AM UTC
Deep Rooted
*concerning the last lines... all we can do with the Cartesian Libra is add adjectives to it, which is contrary to what the existentialists did by simply modifying a furthered abstraction of the compounds 'i think' and 'i am', via the inverted comma(s), otherwise known as dittoing, sic, prior said, or re-, true to the oddity; a king will continue to question his position / being a king by not thinking about it, hence his uninhibited delusions, hereditary, very much genetic; and hence someone who precursors his being with much concern for thinking, the inhibited delusion, self-serving - both are adjective expansions of the Cartesian Libra, just added qualities, given both are facts requiring a slab of marble to look like Rodin's kiss - or approximate, with therefore being the chisel, and so dependent the end product, indeed a slab of marble at first, but not necessarily Rodin's kiss at the end - perhaps a Notre Dame gargoyle...* i am what i think, that's what i came up with after reading some of the bio sketches - even though the truth is that i am what i own - thinking is the part that comes last, if i own a bed and a roof over my head, i end up i thinking about being homeless - but sometimes you do find the ones that are inclined to be what they think, the extremes we call them - supreme anti-materialists, it's not satisfying to own a house or a phone, more is required, something tinged with transcendental counters - they "own" a home but rather not live in it, already the looming fairy of heaven tells them of an unnatural life expectancy - some might say thinking a form of uninhibited delusion sketches, like i'd be a venture capitalists taking a weekend away in Hawaii while some ridiculousness of poverty in India was to blame for my jet streams and carbon footprints - they keep the inhibited delusional in cages without a chance to sketch - because the uninhibited delusional have all the freedoms that Versailles could allow - or... uninhibited delusions of non-thought, inherited, hereditary, versus inhibited delusions of thought, mutated, self-invented... this could very well be a "magic" square with two further variations, i.e. uninhibited delusions of thought (psychopathy) inhibited delusions of non-thought (coma?
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Jun 19, 2016
Jun 19, 2016 at 10:11 AM UTC
the Cartesian Libra
*concerning the last lines... all we can do with the Cartesian Libra is add adjectives to it, which is contrary to what the existentialists did by simply modifying a furthered abstraction of the compounds 'i think' and 'i am', via the inverted comma(s), otherwise known as dittoing, sic, prior said, or re-, true to the oddity; a king will continue to question his position / being a king by not thinking about it, hence his uninhibited delusions, hereditary, very much genetic; and hence someone who precursors his being with much concern for thinking, the inhibited delusion, self-serving - both are adjective expansions of the Cartesian Libra, just added qualities, given both are facts requiring a slab of marble to look like Rodin's kiss - or approximate, with therefore being the chisel, and so dependent the end product, indeed a slab of marble at first, but not necessarily Rodin's kiss at the end - perhaps a Notre Dame gargoyle...* i am what i think, that's what i came up with after reading some of the bio sketches - even though the truth is that i am what i own - thinking is the part that comes last, if i own a bed and a roof over my head, i end up i thinking about being homeless - but sometimes you do find the ones that are inclined to be what they think, the extremes we call them - supreme anti-materialists, it's not satisfying to own a house or a phone, more is required, something tinged with transcendental counters - they "own" a home but rather not live in it, already the looming fairy of heaven tells them of an unnatural life expectancy - some might say thinking a form of uninhibited delusion sketches, like i'd be a venture capitalists taking a weekend away in Hawaii while some ridiculousness of poverty in India was to blame for my jet streams and carbon footprints - they keep the inhibited delusional in cages without a chance to sketch - because the uninhibited delusional have all the freedoms that Versailles could allow - or... uninhibited delusions of non-thought, inherited, hereditary, versus inhibited delusions of thought, mutated, self-invented... this could very well be a "magic" square with two further variations, i.e. uninhibited delusions of thought (psychopathy) inhibited delusions of non-thought (coma?
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