"mustered" poems
A little, twee serenade for you,
Or perhaps a sonnet for others,
I'm not asking for anything extravagant like, "I do."
Nor do I want you to scurry off beneath your couvers.
Where brother, art thou.
Although, to me, you're more of a sister.
To cradle you, here and now;
Under the galleria of lights, never to deter.
But...you're madly in love with another,
I know.
And it pains me to ask you, for I am not your prince, but a stranger.
It's probably too late, although...
I've mustered up a fragment of hope & courage to ask thee,
Will you go to Prom with me?
Mar 26, 2013
Mar 26, 2013 at 3:58 PM UTC
They came for us with tanks and guns.
We stood our ground—the old and young.
All our troops had mustered round
our Capital--Sacramento town.
A New Republic, we’d declared,
and its defense,
among all would be shared.
With the Bear Flag flying high
we all came to fight and die.
Young men in their combat boots
repelled the dictator’s first wave of troops.
Civilians came from South and North
to resist the fascist ruler’s force.
From Frisco and from San Jose,
from San Diego and L.A.,
from Calistoga and Marin,
thousands had come pouring in.
Then US bombers burned the city,
for the orange Fuhrer had no pity.
They won the battle, but we all know
from history, how these things go.
An occupation cannot last
against a people whose strength holds fast.
The tyrant’s troops will tire, while we
will fight on, until we’re free.
Feb 18, 2017
Feb 18, 2017 at 11:17 PM UTC
She served milk toast on Sunday
She served milk toast on Monday
Milk toast is what you might guess
Milk on toast with sugar and cinnamon
That is all
She served milk toast on Tuesday
That is all
Four of the five complained
She served milk toast on Wednesday
All but one cried, “We hate milk toast!”
She served milk toast on Thursday with tears in her eyes
The littlest one saw his mother’s streaming salty fluid
He said, “Momma, I love milk toast.”
The streams turned into raging rivers
Amongst all the wetness came odd quirks of laughter
Momma mustered everything she could
Next thing out was, ”I’m taking that job Dean”
What could Dad say while he sopped up his milk toast?
That is when Momma went to work for the phone company
They never ate milk toast again
Apr 20, 2016
Apr 20, 2016 at 4:47 PM UTC
The clouds he welcomed,
and let them play
While the sun descended
to kiss his rugged make
The winds would rage
yet come to him
as a petted bovine
tamed at whim
Like a ***** giant
stood the mountain tall,
in brooding silence
as he towered above all
Then the rains came, and
brought a stranger home
She was none like them
yet she seemed their own
In her winding bends
the mountain heard
the frenzied beats
of a heart so stirred
As the brook looked up
and the mountain down
she found calm
and him, storms found
The clouds he asked
how he could move
and mustered his will
for a measure of stoop
She looked at him
with a drowning feel
clutching at her banks
and digging in her heels
The bend showed up
like an eternal curse
carrying the aching brook
like a solemn hearse
One last time
she looked back at thee
the one she killed
in setting free
Jul 24, 2018
Jul 24, 2018 at 11:29 PM UTC
My love for you lives at I-95
Right past the exit for Towson
Where we stopped at Lito's for pizza
After we kissed for the first time
I passed I-95 today and didn't remember
Those soft kisses in back seats
Until I saw that pizza shop sign
I could see myself, 13 and blossoming
Holding tightly to your hand
It was like I was standing outside of your dad's car
Looking in at the events that just unfolded
That thirteen year old that won the bet with her friend for having her first kiss
It wasn't why that thirteen year old wanted it though
She just mustered up the courage to move her face close enough
So that the tiniest amount of contact could be made
It was intended to be soft and meaningful, the first of many
But it turned out off-centered and askew
But it was lovely
You, thirteen and dream like, were shocked
Yet intrigued, so you kissed me next time
Then it went back and forth
Alternating kisses, testing the feelings of new connections
Tingling fingers, tapping toes
May 2, 2014
May 2, 2014 at 10:55 PM UTC
She walked. While I shuffled my feet and stared at the ground.
Lights. Dancing around her in neon moonlit sound.
Grey rainclouds, they hummed a mournful tune
But I kept walking, and I tried to make a little room.
She turned, and the sun crept out and gave a little grin.
He smiled, awed at the sight in front of him but,
I mustered up, and sent her a slight return
And with a wave, she kissed away my concern-
Now we're walking. I can't speak a word.
The shy duck with the beautiful red bird,
We flew off; And soared high in the sky-
The sun had set, slightly reflected while I'm...
Bold as Love.
We're all... Bold as Love.
And I'm Bold as Love.
Just ask the Axis.
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 10:29 AM UTC
Lights and colors, Lights and colors dwindle in numbers
Set a step in coordination
Fully exasperated
nonsense passes by, through images
Lenses smudged by illusive thumbprints
Who are you
Are you speaking cordially
heart trusted intuition and guts mustered
Seeping into the depths of darkness
see a surprise unseen by eyes of seekers and juveniles
Founded a resolve
Sturdy foundation like a trunk of a tree
Feed me turds quench my thirst with poison
Wrap a child sleeping soundly in a blanket of lava
Let's follow the righteous side even when full of lies
Stray from a darker path were the light of truth is easier to find
Follow the good where everything a light
and turn so you won't have to face the knife
Inject a form of lies and cast the mirage of truth over your eyes
Jan 1, 2015
Jan 1, 2015 at 9:37 PM UTC
Time has passed since the first time I saw her,
There more I looked, she seemed to look better.
Didn't have the courage to tell her this long,
Mustered all of it and now I'm portraying it in a song.
When I'm with her all I get is good vibes,
She's too beautiful, too much to describe.
To get this girl there's nothing I wouldn't offer,
Days pass by yet I cannot take my eyes of her.
But there's one thing that I still can't see,
Like how I look at you I wish you look at me.
Sleepless nights, meaningless fights, being in spotlights, loveless love bites,
And much more I have done in this world,
But what more do I need to do to get the girl?
Somewhere down the line,
When everything's fine,
I may forget everything,
But I'll always wish you were mine.
I cannot wait for any longer so gotta say this before I realise some other dreams of mine,
Hopefully after this poem every night together we can dine.
I know I ain't even close to perfect, there's every talent that I lack,
But I'll love you for life,
Would you love me back?
Oct 28, 2018
Oct 28, 2018 at 8:45 AM UTC
To my dear son, Boaz in distant Idaho,
Saturday nite, the whole of New Zealand waited in apprehension for the All Blacks rugy team to play the resurgent Wallabys @ Fortress Eden Park.
The previous week at Suncorp Stadium in Sydney, in driving rain, the All Blacks muddled through a painfull draw with the Wallabys, 12 points each with no tries.
The Wallabys had fancied their chances and had wanted an emphatic win on home soil.
Both teams took that score as a loss and the gauntlet was thrown for the second match…..
A brilliant evening, clear and fine , 50,000 people crushed in to Eden Park and you could feel the apprehension, the rest of the country sat in front of their TV willing the team on.
The Haka was given a brutal rendition, you could feel the determination, the passion emanating….the Ozzies glared their defiance back…it was all on!
10 minutes into a titanic struggle with the score three all Captain Ritchie McCaw had a brain fade and was yellow carded off for ten minutes by the French referee.
The crowd roared…then murmured their worry like you’ve never heard before.
The Ozzies mustered a huge scrum which the All Blacks countered with one man down…. The counter ****** pushed the Australian scrum back 15 ft.
Every man in New Zealand was on his feet roaring, you could feel the spirit of nationalism soaring….the moment was a watershed.
The All Blacks counterattacked showing a brilliance in attack and defence we have not seen for years… and from that moment on the game was won.
Final score 51:20 The Bledisloe Cup was ours.
As the match finished the TV camera panned across the solidly black clad crowd…. I have never, ever in my life, seen so many, simultaneous, sets of white teeth grinning!
The trip home to Australia would have been… a very subdued affair.
Thought I should share this marvellous moment with you Boaz.
Luv Dad.
Aug 24, 2014
Aug 24, 2014 at 4:28 PM UTC
The fish jumped out of it's tank
this morning. It was a shock to
see the empty bowl and hear
my gasp as I saw its sticky
body, wet on the counter.
It was oddly poetic.
that's the second fish I've had
jump out of its tank.
I don't understand
how it mustered the energy.
Maybe it was a suicidal
fish, if fish can experience those
emotions?
I treated it alright though.
Maybe it was sick
of being trapped in a glass
life and wanted freedom even
if the price was death.
May 23, 2014
May 23, 2014 at 3:34 AM UTC
Imagine 💭
I had a dream where my mother mustered the courage to own her truth; unabashedly and unapologetically. In that parallel universe, she owned her own identity, and not being defined as someone's wife or daughter. She never fell for anyone where she was obliged to stay, rather she dared to leave. Pursuing her dreams and travels to places she has never been before, chasing sunsets and dreams. Like the Phoenix from the ashes, she rebuilds her life from the scratch.
In another life, I don't wish to be born so that my mother can reap the benefit to live, laugh and love.
~RitzWrites 🥀
Jul 18, 2024
Jul 18, 2024 at 4:10 PM UTC
In my nightmare, I was standing in the dark.
The wind bellowing around me, like somone screaming.
I was told to lift the mountain with my bare hands and not leave until I did so.
My insides lit up like a little sun was there, threatening to burn me up.
Sour claws of nausea rip my innards, as if they were teeth gnawing on my raw flesh, being burnt by the sun within.
Ignore it.
It will pass if I focus on the task.
That was my first mistake.
Still, dug my fingers in the ground and began to lift.
Hands began to burn and scream, sweat turned to smoke and muscle strained.
Teeth gritted, I pushed passed the pain, focused on the mountain and I.
Smoke mixed with the wind and the darkness and the screaming, bellowing through the nightmare.
The Sun burns hotter.
Mustered up every ounce of strength I could.
And I lifted.
Heaved the heavy mountain up to the Heavens.
The pain shook through my body until.
Finally the mountain and earth separated and the void between is quickly filled with air.
The weight pass from my hands to my shoulder.
I had done it.
At last almost Atlas-like.
Standing there, mountain remaining on shoulder.
But now what?
The sun still burned, hotter than ever, that blasted furnace.
And in the moment, my attention did lapsed and my body slacked, prelude to the collapse.
What was I thinking?
The wind screamed around me and I began to shake in the dark.
A fake Atlas, with the weight on his shoulder unbearable.
The pressure was too much, too heavy, and too late to do anything.
And the sun burns on.
I want to run to the nearest pier and jump, to disappear beneath the waves.
Stop the burning, end the atrophy of my muscles.
I’ve done unhappy deeds and now I want the most human of needs.
The end to my pain.
That’s the truth.
I yearn for it.
The sun burns still
I let go of the weight and allow gravity to do its job.
Flattened as the mountain was reunited with the earth.
Thought I could carry the world on my shoulder, but I am no Atlas.
I can't even carry a mountain.
I tried and look where I am now.
I am shattered.
Brittle bones becomes broken and turn to dust.
I have given all I got, thrown in the lot.
Soon my skin will rust and rot away.
Soon there will be nothing left to sustain such a fire but the sole desire for rest.
The sun within continues to burn me.
Until I am nothing but smoke, bellowing in the wind.
Feb 17, 2015
Feb 17, 2015 at 4:44 AM UTC
She was a mischievous child.
Young, beautiful, playful, curious.
And at the mere age of six,
She had a secret.
Her eyes were two twinkling, shooting stars.
Stars that she had mischievously reached up and snatched from the sky one night with a butterfly net
When no one was looking.
She kept them safe, tucked away in secretive sockets so no one would know what she'd done.
They were her secret to keep.
The world spun on, and she aged and aged.
Her life went on.
She married, she worked, she had children of her own,
And not a single soul did she tell her secret of stolen light to.
Finally,
It was her last day on this planet.
She lay in her bed, covered in crocheted blankets, adorned in wrinkles
With her six year old granddaughter sitting at her bedside.
She felt herself starting to die.
She mustered up all the strength she possessed to sit up one last time.
She leaned over towards her granddaughter.
She put a bony, gentle finger to her pursed lips, and winking at the darling youth.
And then,
Mischievously, with a knowing smile,
She reached up and plucked the two twinkling, shooting stars from her eye sockets.
She extended a frail hand, palms filled by two orbs of pure shimmery light
And with a tender, placid touch
Set the stars into the sockets of her granddaughter
For the girl keep for her lifetime
Just as she had.
She slowly, calmly, laid back down.
She winked again at the youthful girl, who, in turn, put her finger up to her pursed lips.
Then, leaving her long-protected secret in the hands of her darling kin with new sparkling eyes,
The aged mademoiselle gently shut her eyelids over dark, empty sockets
For the very last time.
{alaska}
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013 at 9:37 PM UTC
do you know what hurts?
do you know what eats away at you
until you've been completely consumed?
leaving someone.
leaving someone you love.
leaving someone you care for so deeply
that the simple act of walking away seems to rip your heart in two.
leaving someone whose entire existence shaped your life
for one year,
two years,
ten years.
maybe you know that the life attached to him
wasn't the life that was best for you.
maybe that's why you're ending things.
maybe it's not.
it hurts and it tears and it burns,
but the one glimmer of hope to hold onto in the midst of all this pain
is found within a quick smattering of words.
they slip out before he's thought about them.
the saltwater they're mixed with only makes them stronger
and the gasping breaths they float away on only send them quicker to your ears.
*'i still want you in my life. i have to have you in my life.
even it it's just as a friend. you're the only one i've got.'*
do you know what hurts?
do you know what re-ignites the pain
that sunk its teeth into you the day you had to say goodbye?
it's the moment he realized you weren't coming back.
the moment he realized you weren't wrong.
the moment he realized that the golden days of
******* you
were really and truly over.
after that enlightenment, friendship didn't matter,
history didn't matter,
you didn't matter.
suddenly, he didn't see any reason for you to be in his life at all.
you were far from best friends.
you cried and you bled and you mustered the courage
to be selfish for once in your life,
to let go for once in your life,
only to realize that you were nothing but a placeholder.
nothing but a body.
that's what hurts the most
and what will never stop hurting.
Nov 4, 2013
Nov 4, 2013 at 8:34 AM UTC
The clock struck a peculiar time
Reverberating on the window pains
When I looked up from the old wooden desk
To the stark white face of that piece
My eyes were caught in a haze
The hands of the clock eluded me
The chair scratched against the floor
As I moved backwards and rubbed my eyes
My ears popped ever so slightly
Light headedness came on to me
I found it and remained conscious
Aware of what would occur should I fall,
Succumbing to that mechanism
I mustered myself to remove the clock
Lifting it from a single nail in the wall
I placed in in the top drawer of the desk
It's ticking was no longer audible
Yet I still felt the reverberation
It bounced and rattled within my bones
A pulsing echo within my mind
Never louder yet with each throb
It grew more and more distinct
Then it stopped altogether
And the shadows grew long in the room
I paned out the old attic space
For the breifest moment
Before the shadows evaporated
Blending and mixing with the darkness
Oct 6, 2021
Oct 6, 2021 at 10:10 PM UTC
STEP 1: Once it is all over,
And you are crushing your ribcage,
Hearing your brittle bones crack under the pressure,
As you try to nurse your battered, palpitating heart,
Remember.
Remember why you mustered up the courage,
To acknowledge the gentle, seductive voice
Beckoning your chest to open up,
Exposing your vulnerable insides,
Giving the wicked beast,
The chance to crush your heart once more.
STEP 2: Now run as fast as you can,
Before she can see you cry.
Ignore the burning sensation
Slithering up your flaming legs.
Dismiss your suffocating heart,
Begging you to release it
From your chest's tight grasp.
STEP 3: Keep running.
Jul 1, 2013
Jul 1, 2013 at 7:00 PM UTC
A made up 16-year old in red - laid
atop crawled sheets mustered in a smell of midnight sweat.
A man of brows knitted ready to devour the **** sparkling naked and wet.
His crooked smile, svelte lines illuminated dimly under the shade of a cheap block
waiting, ready eager excited motivated in all a man's natural hunger
And a ***** -
legs apart, eyes closed;
her skin warm and tanned, untouched
aching to be severely loved.
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 3:02 AM UTC
To the kid in the hallway telling his friend
"Maybe you need a **** whistle."
And to her response, a sarcastic
"Matt, **** jokes aren't funny."
You're **** right they aren't
Tell me, how is anyone forcing themself onto another person funny?
How are the I don't want tos when her "no" couldn't scream loud enough funny?
How are the ****** thighs and bruised hips funny?
How is the waking up in the middle of the night
How are the flashbacks and her wailing funny?
How is the seven year-old who had so much anxiety she'd tear her hair out
Or a sixteen year-old who kept eyeliner and a kitchen knife side by side in her purse funny?
It's about as funny as a slaughterhouse full of pigs taunting the other pigs
And telling them their approaching doomsday is amusing.
I dug my key into the palm of my hand like a knife when I heard this jeer
Clenching and unclenching a fist
Because I knew if I did not
That hand would go right through your faces.
You do not know the impact of your words
You see, for a survivor
Jokes about ****** assault are triggers.
They bring back every memory
Which becomes a stinging tear behind an eyeball
Fighting not to emerge from its home.
When I say something
Classically I am being "too sensitive"
Just as I was "too sensitive"
When he told me to get on top of him
And I said no
So much courage mustered up in a little body
I could have moved mountains that day
I could have been my own goddess
At seven years old
But he did not care
He was bigger than me
And he imposed that will onto my body
Reducing my childlike frame to the size of a fly
Being swatted by the paw of a lion.
I will not be silent
So when you tell a **** joke and I am in earshot
Do not expect me to laugh
Because there is nothing funny about a slaughterhouse.
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 10:29 AM UTC
I had a moment of clarity
In my life
When I would wake up
From my night terrors
The train tracks outside my window
Wobbled louder than my sanity.
Yes you were there
Patrolling my dreams,
Sprinkling hatred
Over the innocence.
You were the fake ****
Who conducts lies
With your promises.
Your nails, nail the impression
That you practice
On voodoo dolls
Hanging in your soul.
Tearing each thread
Back to its spindle.
It cries.
Prying apart
Till frost vacates your heart
Into these dolls.
Look at you go!
Like Reptar,
You mustered the mightiest rawr
To scare everyone away.
Like reptar you are the toy,
Imagine that.
You see,
They use their imagination
To make you look like
What your faking to be.
Someone different.
You forced me
To lock you up in my dreams.
Murderous murders
Slaughtering anyone
Who mentions my name
So you can feed the meat
You store in the temple
Filled with thorns.
People say stick and stones
May break my bones
Yet your smile
Still shatters them to dust,
Stuck between your nails.
An inconvience.
That's what you would called it.
Hear ye hear ye
My apologies
For me not being clearly.
You must understand
My voice is a little drowned
By the lack of intelligence
You ponder about.
Especially when I glossed over the fact
That this is the poem
I've always want to throw down
Onto your trenches
On your forehead,
The gateway to the mind
Which conducted
The illist mistake
Thinking I'm not worth the time.
May 1, 2015
May 1, 2015 at 2:56 PM UTC
We wage wars with words,
Whetstone sharpened wit.
Wounds win rounds of applause.
A pause,
While metaphors are mustered,
Rusted dictionaries dusted,
Cobwebs shed from unread shelves.
Pikes of pronunciation
Pick apart
Portraits of ourselves.
While poetry parries,
Prose pivots,
Prepares and rallies,
Stares down violet valley below.
The violence of lavender
Shines like silver in the snow.
A scent sentenced to silence,
Flowers on death row.
May 31, 2018
May 31, 2018 at 7:51 PM UTC
Stuck
Between two roads
My mind wandering
Trapped
In the ethereal state
Of wanting what I can’t have
The unexpected
The irresistible
Sinking in you
But this floating feeling
Keeps me reeling
You are the tune that I carry
The song I sing
The feelings I bury
Because this is all too scary
When you make my soul feel
Fantasy so real
Too hard to conceal
Looking at your face
This smile can’t be erased
A connection that can’t be replaced
As this heat rises
Spreading throughout my body
You’ve got my brain bumbled
And my whole body flustered
Knowing this has to stay secret
My words must stay mustered
Because I have my reasons
For not diving straight in
But I’m starting to stop caring
If I’m living in sin
Because my eyes can’t stay off of you
And I simply can’t win
Sep 3, 2018
Sep 3, 2018 at 8:55 AM UTC
July 11th, 2014. I saw you.
I mustered up the nerve to talk to you. I didn't think I'd ever see you again.
July 19th, 2014. Well, I saw you again.
And you knew who I was. My heart skipped maybe 10 beats when I heard you say "Yeah, I remember you!"
November 23, 2014. I was the one who purposely saw you.
We had somewhat kept in touch, even though I desired more than just "keeping in touch." You made me feel alive.
January 18th, 2015. Most likely the last time I could say that I saw you.
We didn't talk, but you looking me right in the eyes and smiling, that made up for it.
February 2015. You said "I miss you, darling."
March 2015. You said "Your voice sounds beautiful, darling."
"Make me happy, darling."
"You should be happy I'm talking to you, darling."
"It makes me sad when you don't do what I want, darling."
April 2015. Silence. I couldn't tell if the guilt you made me feel made me miss you more or less.
May 2015. Exposed. I was a victim of your mind games. I wasn't the only one. Someone broke the silence that broke your success.
May 2015. You say "I'm embarrassed."
I say "so am I."
May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 10:44 PM UTC
it all feels like disease and i want to strip my bones raw; manic
(sugar rush deity)
what am i to you… what are you to me, aside from endearing silhouettes; pixie
(mumbling shy songs)
in an ocean of violents in bloom we speak artificial prayer; dream
(cloaked in starry-eyed acapella—thats what they think, no?)
i surrender to your clarity and intensity and charm and beauty that my hands are too numb and dull to touch; girl
and then comes wrath: a dewy vileness teetering on the brink of your 9th life
now hell has harnessed my chest, for it is with deep regret and shaky sobs that every opening and crack in my body emits rotten remains of our silent war…
but there are still heartfelts i never mustered up the courage to let go of:
thank you for tip-toeing around broken strings to reach out once more, twice more
thank you for enduring my futile voyages through resentment
thank you for soaking all my insanity in like sunlight and excreting back out a gentle rainfall
May 24, 2018
May 24, 2018 at 6:57 PM UTC