.
1
death dirges

Frogs in distance sing  .  .  .
Foxes, herons, join in too,
  .  .  .  A round of croaking.



2
love gifts

Her gift of flowers  .  .  .
Came at night without garden,
  .  .  .  Were picked in bedroom.



3
twins demure

Full moon and she  .  .  .
Beauties without crescent smile,
  .  .  .  Naked in starlight.



4
light music

Before even sun  .  .  .
Gleam opens to paint each day,
  .  .  .  Beauty in birdsong.



5
iridescent

After sun showers  .  .  .
Sparkle of rainbow colours,
  .  .  .  Busy hummingbirds



6
chilling

Hollow sound through trees,
Naked and bare branches sway,
  .  .  .  Old winter creeping.



7
flirting

She wanted a child  .  .  .
Rushed from one suitor to next,
  .  .  .  Clock set to maybe.



8
super villain

Truth once singular  .  .  .
Mucked all up with politics,
  .  .  .  In cowl of falsehoods.



9
casualties

Blood spills in gardens  .  .  .
Naïve worms torn from loose grounds,
.  .  . Red robins, green lawns.



10
stigmata

Each spring miracle  .  .  .
Trees blessed by caterpillars gifts,
  .  .  .  Holey hands of leaves.



11
consecrations

Ripples lead to bows  .  .  .
After fish breaks the water,
  .  .  .  A kingfisher dives.



12
constancy

Steadfast as always  .  .  .
Wildflower in sun and rain,
  .  .  .  Showing true colours.



13
roommates

Chaste lovers wonder  .  .  .
How bodies weather the cold,
  .  .  .  Never knowing touch.



14
swept away

Suddenly we kissed  .  .  .
At beach as tides rolling in,
  .  .  .  Drowning by ocean.



15
seductress

Her red hair so long  .  .  .
Brushing my face, hiding eyes,
  .  .  .  A kind entrapment.
.

The leeching color from my eyes
My parched mouth puckered
My joints are stiff, stubborn and brittle
Creaking like exhausted floorboards
Wringing my fists, white ands shriveled
Twisting my hands, skinned and raw
I'm ill with desperate thriving
Too weak to carry on, don't have the choice
Veins laden with liqueur, thinning hopes and regret
Pulsing pulsing pulsing
Bones fluttering with birds of bad omen
Scalp rid of hair to make place for the thorny crown of vanquishment
Blood diluted with bitter disappointment,
Sloshing, smearing through my mucked-up system
Aching from the deadly drone of existence
From small victories, large defeats
I'm the mortar, they're the pestle
Clobbering into my hollowed life.

The hammer of that thing
Routine so dull and tedious
Pounding and pounding and pounding
When you can't even scream or weep
Thud thud thud
My temples scream with dank submission
My brain is reeling, hurling from the vertigo of it all.

Morning, noon & night
The dead avenues, the empty buzzing
Beats hammers in my brain
Throb throb throb
I'm quivering with numbness.

I'm mature now, I'm ripe
So ripened and rotten
Adult things, adult preoccupations pulsing around me
It seems like person really only has two choices
Get in on the aimless hustle or be forsaken
I've taken it all up
Rent, coffee, wine, cigarettes and newspaper
Forgotten pills
Unpaid bills
Thump thump thump
Anguish, pain, woe and misery
Turbulence and stress, the banging hammer.

I'm a drunkard, a wanderer
With a beaten, battered suitcase
Days like these, weeks like these, when all the weapons are pointed at me
I'm a ***, an outcast
A pigeon in the pummeling rain
Dribble dribble splash
The ache is a relentless thing.

My job, my rent, my house
My walls limp with memories stuck with rotting glue
Wallpaper torn, curling at the edges
The cold hard floor radiates and screams
The couch, cold & hollow
Incrusted with bits of filthy grime
The dead radiator hisses like an angry snake
The shades down, no sunlight
No life seeping through the venetian blinds
And my clothing sits in the chairs
Like the dead emptied out
The blankets are thin, frayed and tattered
As hope is
The moths, on the other hand, are alive and well
They weave webs of moribund rot
Interlacing me into their strands of decay.

Surrounded by the coldhearted, they snarl
And their laughs abash, dishearten the pure
Bruising me relentlessly
They are so tired, mutilated
either by love or no love
All their bleak and sunken eyes
All their weak and drunken souls
All their meek and shrunken hearts
Vultures with neckties
Weasels in frocks
Collared beasts, that's all they are.

The mournful poet with the shrapnel wound
Was so wrong
I guess he wanted to be lyrical, but his words led astray
Time is not water
It does not flow easy, smooth and transparent
It drags you into dark alleys and batters the hell out of you
Punches you in the ribs, rips your skin,
Jerks you by your hair, stabs you, disfigures you
Leaves you crippled and broken, gasping for air.

Sweating in a rocker
Lanky skeleton hands clasped, praying- for what?
I'm not living, or dying
I'm simply crawling backward
Or no, I'm not crawling, I'm being dragged,
Through nights of lonely perfidy, breathing the beaten dusty air
The dark wind wailing, ebbing through the frail curtains
Laying in bed, too wretched to move
When memories, of heaven and hell,
Droop like broken shades
Across the window of my mind
And ****, I can feel my soul slowly dropping down through the mattress
My stomach is heaving, my teeth clenched and gritted
But not with fear, no, it's too late for dread
And it *****, because we realize we were all so caught up in a life in which we can find no meaning...we end up wrong and graceless and sick
We're born shriveled and alone, we die shriveled and alone
No matter what.

They were the knotted extensions of her soul.
They showed how she twisted the truth
right out the lies she had been told.
Since birth people tried to typecast her role.

Marry a man
Have some babies
Grow old

Her family would say someone mucked up the recipe;
sugar, spice and everything nice. She was
dissimilar to the 3. Her sugar was solitude.
Her spice? Tattoos. Everything nice in her
had been stripped and *******. So the only
thing left of that were the bits of metal in her lips,
nose and ears. "Brush your hair 100 times a day, dear",
Her mother had said for years. And she did
until the day she told her parents she was
a different kind of queer. Then,the tears.

Somewhere between her mother's damnations,
her father's belligerence and her usual
rebuttal of indifference, she began to take interest
in her hair. Those long, straight strands were
nothing like her. The red reflected
her parents rejection. In that moment.
There was clarity in the contorted
version of love she had to incur.
She decided the only expectations
to accept were hers. And just like that
the barrier between her and the world cracked.
She decided to dread her hair and dye it black.

As the years went by,  her parents learned
to accept their daughter. And in return
each year  she would send them a photo
showing how her hair had gotten longer.
She also added trinkets to the locks and let
the strawberry color grow back.
Yet she kept the tips black to remind herself
no matter what the world wants her to be
the most important thing in life was her self-esteem.

YA FREAK YA FREAK


WHAT IS A FREAK, IS IT SOMEONE WHO IS DIFFERENT CAUSE THE WORLD IS SO WRONG

IS IT A PERSON WHO LOVES LIFE, BUT DOESN’T TELL ANYONE

I AM NO FREAK, I AM A COOL PERSON, I SIT AND DO MY TAPESTRY

LIKE THE ARTIST YOU CAN SEE IN ME

MY VERSION OF A FREAK IS SOMEONE WHO HATES HEAVY METAL, CAUSE HEAVY METAL IS RADICAL, DUDE

I LIKE AC/DC, AND MOTLEY CRUE AND I ESPECIALLY LOVE MOTORHEAD

THAT IS WHY I LIKED MY FRIEND PATRICK, CAUSE HE LIUKED OR APPEARED TO LIKE HEAVY METAL MUSIC, I AM NO FREAK

AND IF YA CALL ME A FREAK, I WILL BE UPSET, CAUSE, DUDES

I LOVE JUDAS PRIEST, I LOVE JIMMY BARNES, AND THE ONLY REASON WHY I LIKE COMPUTERS

IS SO I CAN KEEP IN CONTACT WITH THE WORLD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT, DOESN’T MAKE ME A FREAK THOUGH

IT MAKES ME A COOL PERSON WHO LOVES HEAVY METAL MUSIC

I WANT TO TAKE THE GEEK OUT OF COMPUTERS, CAUSE GEEKS CALL PEOPLE LIKE ME A FREAK

I LIKE TO PARTY IN CLUBS, AND I LIKE TO GO TO THE FOOTY, AND MUCK WITH THE FOOTY FANS

I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A FREAK, BUT WHAT IS A FREAK

I TELL YA WHAT IS A FREAK, I AM NO FREAK, I LOVE THE COOL PEOPLE WHO GO TO HEAVY METAL CONCERTS

SURE I AM NICE TO MY MUM, BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME A FREAK THOUGH

I JUST AM A VERY NICE PERSON, PEOPLE WHO CALL ME A FREAK ARE THE ONLY FREAKS

COMPUTERS ARE FUN, NONE OF THIS DOS ****, THAT IS FOR THE FREAKS

I LIKE COMPUTERS TO SHARE MY WRITING AND MY ART, AND TO ENTERTAIN

I DON’T WANT TO BE THOSE QUEER PEOPLE WHO ARE TOTALLY GENTLE, I DON’T DO GENTLE

I DO COOL, AND I AM COOL, I’M COOL MAN, COOL YOU, YEAH COOL ME, I AM A BOY ANYWAY

I KNOW YOUR A BOY BRIAN MMMMMMMMMMM YOUR A BOY MMMMMMMM I AM A COMPUTER **** KID, I AM NO GEEK OR NERD MY MATE

GEEKS OR FREAKS ARE PEOPLE WHO HATE COMPUTERS, CAUSE THEY CAN’T GET PAST THE ADULT

I AM NO FREAK, I AM NO GEEK I LIKE COMPUTERS FOR CREATIVITY YA SEE

I WANT THE HEAVY METAL FANS TO LIKE ME, CAUSE YOUTUBE IS THE PLACE YOU CAN WATCH HEAVY METAL FOR FREE

ANY BAND IS COOL, HEAVY METAL MUSIC IS THE BEST MUSIC OF ALL, TO GET YA SOX OFF AND REALL PARTY HARDY WON’T STARTY

I AM NOT A FREAK, I AM A YOUTUBE ******, AN INTERNET ******, I HATE PEOPLE TREATING ME L;ILE A FREAK CAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS

I DON’T WANT TO GET KILLED OR KIDNAPPED, OR ANYTHING, BUT I AM NOT SHY TO L.OVE COMPUTERS

I WISH THE WORLD WOULD STOP TREATING ME LIKE A FREAK, MY COMPUTER LIKES ARE

HEAVY METAL CONCERTS

LEARNING ABOUT THE WORLD

PUTTING MY ART ONLINE THROUGH ART COLONY

FINDING THE PERFECT PARTY SO I CAN SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD THROUGH YOUTUBE

TO FIND WRITING GROUPS LIKE FOCUS ON FICTION

OLD TV SHOWS I USED TO LOVE LIKE BECKER AND CHARLES IN CHARGE, ETC ETC

I WATCH A LOT OF TED DANSON’S BECKER, YA COULD SAY, I AM A BECKER MANIAC

THERE ARE MANY MORE, I ALSO HAVE SHOWS SHOWING THAT I CAN STICK AT DOING TAPESTRIES, BY INSPIRING PEOP,LE TO BE CREATIVITY

I HATE PEOPLE SAYING I AM TOO WOOSEY TO, TO GOOD ART, BUT OPEOPLE WHO SAY THAT, ARE THE BIGGEST FREAKS AROUND

IF PAT HATES HEAVY METAL,HE IS A FREAK, CAUSE HE HAD A FUNNY WAY OF SHOWING IT, WHEN HE MUCKED AROUND WITH ME

HE GOT ME INTO LOVING HEAVY METAL, AND STOP WORRYING WHAT PEOPLE THINK, I DON’T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK

I AM AN ARTIST, I AIN’T NO FREAK, I AM A WRITER I AIN’T NO FREAK I AM A YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER AND INSPIRER I AIN’T NO FREAK

I DO MY TAPESTRY ON YOUTUBE TO SHOW MY STAYING POWER, AND I HAVE STAYING POWER, REAL STAYING POWER

I THOUGHT DAD WAS TREATING ME LIKE A WRITER WHEN HE SAID I WAS LIKE OS, SO TO SPEAK

I AM NOT A FREAK, I AM STILL A LITTLE YOUNG DUDE, WHO IS FINE WITH HIS VIRGINITY

I DON’T CALL ME A FREAK, CAUSE I HAVEN’T HAD ***, I CXALL FREAKS, PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY ARE YOUNG WITH NO SOCIAL MEDIA

I AM ON FACE BOOK AND YOUTUBE, AND I HAVE A STRONG QUOTA ON THE INTERNET, I ASM NO FREAK, I AM NO GEEK

I AM THE COOLEST DUDE IN CANBERRA, AND THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT IT

I THINK MY OLD MATES ARE LIVING IN THE PAST WITH ME, EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES, EVERYONE HAS THOSEC DAYS

COME ON DUDES, GIVE ME A BREAK, I AM A LITTLE YOUNG DUDE WHO LOVES TO PARTY WITH HEAVY METAL MUSIC LIKE ACCCA DACCA

AND MOTLEY CRUE, AND I WATCH THE CONCERT ON YOUTUBE, DUDES, ALL THE BLASTED DAY LONG

DON’T CALL ME A FREAK, YOUR A FREAK, ESPECIALLY IF YA THINK I HATE PARTYING, I LOVE PARTYING, IT’S COOL FOR ME

BRIANO ALLIANO PERFORMS AT JUPITER MOON


hi dudes and welcome to jupiter moon where i will chuck a methane smoothie all over dad

so he can stop treating me like him at home, you see last night dad used the old young dudes

tp say i am not like my mate pat anymore, no, don’t want to be a cool kid to my dad, but i can

clean my house to what i like, and nothing more, buddy, so if you treat me like dad, you must

except i want to be a poor man, because dads way will never work, he should work on betty campbell

here is cruising round with red bull


I see some sorry old soul walking around the town, with a leather jacket on and a red bull in his hand, you see he looks kind if ***** and ****** up in the head he also looks so droopy, too, he should be home in bed, he'll go into JB hifi, if they'll let him in, that is and then he'll notice his red bull can is empty, he didn't know what to do, and everyone is staring at him, he yells out really loud WHAT ARE YA LOOKIN' AT YA ******, and nearly gets into a fight, and he was going completely crazy, yes he was weird, so ran through the mall, saying, I have to get my red bull, I have to get my red bull, I have to get my red bull, it's a f..n matter of life and death, if I don't get a red bull now, I swear I'll **** someone, waddaya think of that, everyone was saying as he passed thinking this man is cool, I think he's a loser cruising around with his red bull
When he got his second can open it up and it squirted everywhere, and unknown to him that half the can was lost in that squirt, so he cruised around with his can saying howdy to the chicks and saying hi dudes to the chaps, and, man he felt so cool, as he went over to JB hifi, yes his red bull can was empty again, and he yelled out ****, this time he was really ****** violent, he knocked over an old lady going to the bank and punched a yeah mate yeah kid,  (nerd) in the gut, and he was like that all the way to the red bull shop, when he got their the red bull was sold out and the store clerk said we have red eye, mother or V, and he said I don't want those, they are woosey drinks, I only drink red bull, because about 1 hour the man was taken by the police, as he was cruising it gives me wings, as I left he saw a kid who bought the last red bull, and he offered him $50 for it, and the kid said, money comes and money goes, but this red bull stays with me forever, and he got violent threatening to **** him as such and the kid said, ok dude, keep ya shirt on, give me $50 for this can and I will give it to you, they exchanged what they had and the kid went to the police station to fill in a statement saying he was threatened by a crazy red bull ******, and in around with the kids red bull, the police took him away the kid identified him as the guy, whi would convert to violence, to be cruising around, oh yeah, yes, man cruising around with his red bull, what a loser

and now here is my next song, called go to bed little shy boy, because i feel like a hooligan with my itchy feet, and i feel like i am getting kidnapped on earth because i am a tad messy, cause dad will never help me, when i do work, i feel like a lady, well, ****** oath i am a
lady to a tease, but i don’t want to get teased though, so i am a man
You see, you are still a little shy boy, and we are still teasing you
So, now you are working, man, come, leave us
And let us muck around, we want to smoke our bongs
As well as drink our bourbons, and drink 100 beers
Yeah we all feel cool, and don't wake up little shy boy
We want the adults to not bother us, cause we are having so much
Fun, we don't want to be adults,and don't want you to worry about us either
You see, all the men, are sitting there, trying to muck with them
Saying tease him, if you want to tease, just teaee him
But at the end of the day, man, we aren't really teasing
We are sitting up all night, being bums and young bludgers
And it's because you are such a ******
We might be making it seemed you are getting teased
But, we really want to leave you alone,,if you leave us alone
Cause, we are drug addicts,,and we want you to respect the fact
That we don't want to work, as long as you think that you aren't a young bludger
Everything will be already, but young bludgers go to bed for work
So mate, just enjoy yourself, and smoke your bongs
And have a good time, doing it
You see, I want to enjoy ourselves doing this
You are now leaving us all on our lonesome
See ya dudes
yeah, i don’t wanna be a cool kid to tease so i say to you, shut up cockbreath, here is my next song


I am a man and other men are teasing me with the kids
This is driving me crazy, I told them that I am a man
And I don't stand for this kind of juvenile behaviour
You see the kids didn't listen to that, they just laughed
And for a while each man kept on trying to be mature adults
Which we all know they're not, said for the kids to leave me alone
And then said, he isn't a target for teasing
But then after 3 days, the men said, what the flaming ****
We are going to tease this ****** yuppie
Yes, we'll tease them with the kids
The kids would teaee and when you go to the men
The men will teaee them too. They will act like all other Australians
And tease you as well, yes and they will ****** find it ****** fun
You are suffering cause you haven't got many friends

And the kids are laughing, while the ******* men say
You are a fucken big old softie,and you are now with no friends
Then you get a knife and try to stab him
And after that you punch him in the back
And then you draw out your knife and threaten to slit his throat
If he doesn't stop fucken teasing him
But they go, I am teasing you, and that's the only way I am being



You see when I go out of my bedroom after having a night of ***
The kids ate teasing me, left right and centre
And I try to handle it, but it's so ****** hard for me to do
Because they are saying things like, I am going to bash you up
And giving me a pineapple drink which was ****** wee
close to you
So if the kiddies are teasing you, and you turn to me, to get me to muck with you
I will say, I ain't mucking with you, mate, neh
I am just teas---ase---ing you with the kiddies, you aren't like us, cause when we tease you
Mate, you can't handle it, and then you say, you are spastic, and dumb as well. And I will punch you with this metal part of my leather glove, to show you who can't fucken handle teasing, you **** of the earth, fucken man
Then you go to your room, and they don't talk to you anymore
Because they are treating you like a target to tease
And that drives me crazy. And i yelled out
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING THE MAN WHO IS GETTI NG TEASED BY MEN AND THE KIDS,  LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE
And they did, I am now a free spirit, no one can successfully taste me, never


yeah, i don’t wanna get teased by the men and kids, so i will be a hooligan oops, i am a cool person

you see, i am a polite man, hey, what did you say, you are protecting me with your hey, so i want dad to fly off, ok

have found a polite way to

I have found a polite way to say I love you even if I don't really mean it
I have found a polite way to tell you to ******* when you constantly bug me at my place of work, and that is treat him like an employee and then sack him, that'll work
I have found a polite way to tell someone that their weird without making them get upset
I have found a polite way to say to a right wing party that their policies stink by saying, you guys are a bunch of total perfectionists, who care nothing for the little guys
I have found a polite way to tell someone that they aren't the right sort of friend for me by saying, please mate, I need to broaden my horizons, so can you leave my perfect world buddy
I have found a polite way to tell my boss that I am resigning and that is I really don't want this place of employment, it's not really my cup of tea
I have found a polite way tell someone in a bar to stop bugging me by asking them nicely to please leave me alone and if that doesn't work then leave the bar saying if people aren't going to be nice to me here, I ain't going to come here
I have found a polite way to call someone a young bludger by telling them that they are as lazy as you were when you were their age
I find polite ways to say anything because I value my
Life too much to be hurt people's feelings, I am really cool, man

ya see i hear voices of people saying i have no real problems, but i wanna be famous, and i want to move to adelaide, but i don’t get positive feedback

so i feel like getting drunk and vomiting like this song

You see I love to have a few beers, or chocolate, and chips, oh yeah
This was what I really enjoy when I go to a pub at night
You see I live next door to this nightclub, called the hungry ****** horse
And I ain't cursing because I want to, man, that s what it's called
I met a man named Roger Killbert, who I had *** with and having a few
But the beers weren't doing good for Roger, they made him really sick
You see he was getting drunk and vomiting, yes, he was really sick
I don't share children with him, so why did I stay with him
You see he lost his family in the recent fires, and this is the first time he went out
And Roger was getting a sickly taste in his mouth, oh yeah
And it made him *****, he was sick,
You see it was just vomiting, so I didn't bother to take him to hospital
But I changed my mind, when te blood came out, it was really bad
So I took him to the hospital, and the hospital said he fine
But I know in my fucken ****** heart, that he was sick
Then he vomited blood, and the nurse said
To Roger to go to the waiting room
Because this isn't too important, but we do know that it was
And I said, why don't you get your *** in gear
And help my fucken friend, and from that moment
They labelled me a stubborn girl, yes I hated that a lot
And I said, yes, I'm stubborn, but I care for him, and have you got
Someone you care about, you hear about doctors like you
And I am more than just a stubborn woman
If you don't look after my friend, or at least try
I will soo your pants right off
He fucken had the nerve to say on what grounds
I am trying, to be my job, follow work protocol
Yes, I am doing fine, I earn a lot of money
And I deserve every cent, then I said you deserve squat
But I don't really care, when we left, yes I sooed his pants off
And since that ****** day, this doctor never learnt his lesson
We were moved to another hospital
You see he is getting drunk and vomiting, and he was very sick
And we are enjoying spending his money we got out of the doctor
Yes I feel ****** good

you can get your earth bodies to look at aaron clayton or aaa youtube TV, to hear everything performed by me

here is my next song


now, i will tell you where my cool kid is, at the mall mucking around
you see I go to the mall, being with young people
And I have so much fun, making young people mistakes
Like drinking all night and passing by McDonald's
For a McFeast and fries and coke
I will look like a junk food hooligan
And yes I will look so cool to the young
But I wish it was as simple as that
I want to have some fun
So I saw my two friends Eddie and Daniel
And we mucked around having fun
But it wasn't really what I wanted, man
So I told them both to *******
For 3 years after they purposely ran into me
And call me Woosey, and um, they will put the smoke in their ear
And eat McDonalds while I will try to be an adult
And every adult decision I make, they said Woosey, Woosey, Woosey
And then I got up and said you kids make me sick
But I couldn't say that, and they called me Woosey, because I was
Too Woosey to be a man, that opens up to his problems
But I felt like trying my hand trying to intimidate them
And make them leave me alone, it drives me crazy
All I want to be is a normal young dude, you know
Playing around making mistakes as well as being cool
But I have **** like you two teasing me as if your friendship is a fucken lie
You look like greedy pigs when you eat your McDonald's
And you are a ******* when you bang your head against the tapes
Yeah, dude, you look like a Woosey to me, mate
I am just doing the kind of things that Patrick did
Because what he likes to do, is similar to what I like to do
I like hard rock music, but I ain't a little young dude
Who is to scared to escape the tease
You guys are two little Wooseys, and I will say you are Wooseys
Mainly because you eat little young food like maccas
And you stick the cigarette in your hair, like a ******
I am a cool young dude, cool young dudes do art, and don't look lost
I'm not lost, I am so radical dudes, let's party
I am now on the healing process, because Daniel is the only Woosey
And that's the truth, you see


you see, how many of you guys have been called a woosey, you see i believe in loving life and here is my next song

i still wanna be young, what is wrong with that
Yes, mate, I am happy and I feel cool
I feel my body is getting younger and I want to break the adult rule
Mind you, there is nothing wrong with growing up, and being wise, so to speak
But really that's too formal, man, doing that will just send you weak
You need to do things that are exciting
Like go on an aero plane, like to Thailand or Vietnam, or even the mighty USA
You should go on long rail journeys too, yes that's a bit of a buzz
You can either choose having a sleeper, living the lap of luxury
Or roughing it up on the single ride seat
You can also grab a hot meal on the train
And you can eat it in the dining car
And you can eat it up, real fast, so you aren't away from the seat too long
I also like a bus trip, like to Batemans bay or beyond
And a trip to Sydney. Melbourne, Brisbane, Hervey bay, gold coast, and fantastic Adelaide
I go into a club and if I hear music I will either tap my foot or dance to it
Depending on the mood of the place
I also like to stay in a Hotel, and watch a bit of ****** Rupertvision
Some shows are good, and thouroughly entertained me so much
But not enough to make me give to that rich *****
I sometimes like a good trip in the country, where I climb mountains
Or just look at the views from lookouts and even the wild life
And mind you, you can have a ball in the country, cause you have no main worries
No worries at all, sonny Jim
Then you can spend the weekend in Sydney for the Carols in the domain
Where you get in early, pick a great spot, and take in the Christmas spirit
Mind you, you have to wait in line at the toilets, but it's all in good fun
And mate, if you happen to lose, dad, or even your mum
Just go to the stage, and tell them that you are a lost boy
With no directional skills, and how do I find mummy again
Of course they will help find them, but you really just wanted to get on the idiot box
And mate, just wait for the hiding you get off mum or dad
For wasting important television viewing time
There are so many things you can do, but, mate
You need to get a job, oh yeah, don't make your mum and dad pay
That can make you uncool
You see, I am a 43 year old young dude, yeah
And I will be there, till the day I join the afterlife, oh yeah
i hear voices of people saying, i ain’t going to help you little cool ki, ****** oath i am cool kid



Hi little kid, you can't find your mummy, you are a baby
Cause this is a family event, and it's quite ****** safe
Just ask a fellow kid, sure you are safe little kid
But then another kid will come, and trick me into
Looking like a phedaphile, and I won't be able to get out of it
So little kid, keep looking around for your mummy
And, yes you will see her, and I ain't helping you
Cause I am not the kids teasing Buddy
You see I want kids to let me be a true grown up
Who wants to be cool, and have a lot of fun
With other grown ups, and if kids can think of Judy being with each other
The city will look after their needs a lot better
You see, I dressed up as Santa, but I ain't helping you kid
So *******, or I will put you in the toilet
Do you want that, I don't fucken think so
I can tell you, I ain't no kid, I am an adult
Who wants to have fun and enjoy life
I don't want you kids to come up to me
And ask me to do something inappripiate
Even if it looks innocent, it ain't, I aren't that type of guy
You kids are a pack of fucken losers
And just keep yourselfs in your family groups
Cause that will suit me just fine, because
I ain't gonna he

HATE BEING THE ONE THAT HAS TO BEHAVE



YOU SEE, I KNOW MY BROTHER IS ALLOWED TO SAY WHAT HE WANTS

BUT I HAVE TO WATCH WHAT I SAY, SOMETIMES I AM JUST BEING COOL

I HATE PEOPLE TELLING ME I HAVE TO BE GOOD, LIKE MY PERFECT FAMILY

IT’S HARD TO DISCIPLINED TO, JUST BECAUSE, I MUCKED WITH THE OLD FOGIES

I HATE, HOW PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE A TOTAL AND UTTER LOSER

YOU SEE, WHY DO PEOPLE TRY AND DISCIPLINE ME, I FIND IT HARD

LIKE I CAN’T HELP IT, IF I HATED DADS DISCIPLINE RULE

I CAN’T HELP IT, IF I AM A NICE PERSON

YOU SEE, IF I GOOF UP, I AM TOLD, I HAVE NO MATES ANYMORE

ALL BECAUSE I SAID SOMETHING OUT OF LINE

I KNOW MY BROTHER HAS A WIFE AND KIDS, AND WAS COOL

AND YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE, PEOPLE ONLY LIKING ME

IF I BEHAVE, CAUSE I AM COOL, MAN, THE COOLEST DUDE IN CANBERRA

I HATE WHEN I HEAR THE VOICES BE LIKE US, WHEN I EXPRESS MYSELF OVER THE WEB

YOU SEE, WHY DO I HAVE TO BE NICE, I AM A COOL AND REGULAR GUY

I DESERVE TO BE LIKED, I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKED FOR BEING PATHETIC, NO WAY

I HAD VOICES FROM THE PARANORMAL, YA SEE I AM A NICE COOL PERSON

WHY CAN’T I ENJOY THINGS, JUST BECAUSE I ******* PEOPLE

I FEEL IF I SEE THESE PEOPLE, THEY WILL SAY TO ME, I WAS WRONG

BUT I HATE BEING DISCIPLINED, PLEASE DON’T DISCIPLINE ME

I AM 45, AND I AIN’T COMMITTING ANY CRIMES, I AM STILL SEEING THESE DUDES

I USED TO GET DRUNK WITH, SOME WERE GOOD BLOKES

IT’S JUST THAT BACK THEN, I WASN’T PREPARED FOR OUR OUTINGS

I LIKE FOOTBALL, AND I LIKE GOING OUT HAVING FUN

AND I DON’T WANT TO BE TOLD TO BEHAVE MYSELF I HATED BEING TREATED LIKE A NICE AND POLITE MAN

WHILE MY MATES CAN BE LEFT ALONE, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE

I HATE THAT MAN KEN, I HAVE TO BEHAVE FOR HIM

I CAN’T STAND BEHAVING FOR ANYONE, BEHAVING IS DUNB AND BEHAVING IS WRONG

I HATE CATHOLIC MORALS, AND I HATE DISCIPLINE, BUT I FEEL ONLY OLD FOGIES HAVE DISCIPLINE MORALS

I TRY AND BE GOOD, WHEN I GO OUT TO EVENTS, BUTB SOMETIMES IT’S HARD TO EXCEPT DISCIPLINE

CAUSE WHY CAN’T I JUST BE ALLOWED TO MAKE A BIT OF NOISE

I AM ON MEDICATION, YA SEE IT’S MY DESTINATION, I WANT TO BE HAPPY, SO I TAKE MEDICATION

I THOUGHT DAD WAS STARTING TO SEE MY WAY OF LIFE, YOU SEE, I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A GOOD BOY

BEING A GOOD BOY DOESN’T WORK FOR ME

I WANT TO BE NORMAL, I WANT TO BE LIKED

I SING A SONG, I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH BAZ BOY, CAUSE HE TRIED TO JUST THINK I LIKED DISCIPLINE

I HATE BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP, IF YOU WANT ME TO SHUT UP, I WILL NEVER SHUT UP, CAUSE, I FOLLOW MY OWN STYLE

WHICH IS FUN, I BELIEVE IN HAVING FUN WHEREVER I GO OUT INTO THIS WORLD

I CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN’T REALISE, I HATE DISCIPLINE, I DON’T WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE I AM TOO WOOSEY FOR LIFE

I HATE BEING TOLD I HAVE TO BEHAVE, WHY DON’T YOU BEHAVE, YOU TELL ME TO BEHAVE, YOUR A TOTAL LOSER, BUDDY OLE BOY OLE CHUM OLE PAL

I AM GOING TO THE BOTANIC GARDENS TONIGHT, BUT I DON’T WANT TO HANG WITH DISCIPLINE LOVING NERDS

I DON’T DO BEHAVING, OK I WILL NEVER DO BEHAVING, I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE AN OLD FOGIE

I AM A COOL MIDDLE AGER, WHO LOVES TO PARTY

STOP DISCIPLINING ME, YA ****

OR I WILL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN

which is cool.    Kidnapped by computer geeks



Adam and Benjamin Powell are brother's with a difference, Adam is a nice clean cut young dude who likes to muck around on the streets, while Ben loves to have his geeky friends over for an evening of dungeons and dragons, adam quite often teased Ben, saying he wasn't very normal and when Ben was finished he got out his wild west kit and tied Adam to the stairs and pretended to hold Adam hostage till their parents got home, and mind you Adam was very scared, in fact, what Adam wanted to do mainly is hang around with his street kid mates, but Ben wanted Adam to be his little teasie, even if it meant he would you know make Adam feel, like he's been held hostage, and what makes it worst, when his parents got home, Ben carried on as if nothing has happened.
So day in and day out, weekends and after school, Ben told Adam to be home before him, or he'll hang you by the neck till he was dead, and Adam was too scared to say no, and went home as he promised and each day, his brother Ben was there with his mate Rick and both Ben and Rick tied Adam up and held kept him in the cupboard in the room where they played their fantasy game, Adam was scared and banged the door, and then Ben got up and opened the door, come on ******, play with me, I have friends, you haven't, and that is how it'll stay, Adam Powell, and then Ben went back to his game, leaving Adam very scared, thinking his brother was a evil villain, we all know he was a kid, but Adam was still sacred shitless, because really he doesn't deserve this one little bit.
At 5-30 their parents got home and Ben let his brother Adam go and then their parents dropped a bombshell which made Adam happy, because some of Adam's school friends invited him to a birthday party, and Adam looked at Ben and Ben was smiling, saying he isn't a poor sucker, who relies on this small talk, to get him by, just as long as he doesn't meet any of the cool street kids, because I ain't playing my geeky games, so he can bring to this family the poor people act, so Ben went to Adam and told him, if you go anywhere near anyone street trash, I will hold you hostage right in front of mummy and daddy, and then Adam left the house all scared and jumpy and on his way there he grabbed this 7 year old, and said, watch out for my geeky brother, he is a psychopath, and then Adam saw Ben's light turn on and Adam ran real hard, so Ben can't see him talking.
Ben went out and this kid told Ben what Adam said to him, and Ben said thanks and went back to his house and waited for Adam to come home, and when he did, their parents weren't home and Ben decided to hold Adam hostage and tie him up on the shed with his d&d; friends and while Adam was struggling to get free from the rope and gag, he was getting rope burns all over his body and all the geeks laughed their geeky laughs, saying we are keeping this little cool kid away from any street kid, because we want him with us, we want to teach him, that people do what Ben Powell and his mates tell him, and if you call me a ******. Like you told that kid, you will die, little Adam, so suffer little cool kid, us geeks will keep you from being safe, heh heh heh heh heh.
These kind of events happened day in and day out, and their parents never knew what happened and when Adam turned 18 he went to his friend who was a street kid when he was young, he was saved off the streets and both Adam and Rob, the name of his friend, mucked around together throwing beer bottles on his geeky brothers roof, and Rob forced Adam to make fun of his brother and Adam liked that, and he seemed to understand it, so he went home and teased Ben and his mates saying, you guys are geeks, you ****, and I will never be like you and Ben tried to keep a goody goody look for his parents, but Adam decided to take Rob's advice and treat Ben like a stupid little geeky yeah mate yeah kid and then he said, you will be pushed to family life, because I ain't like you, I am like the street kids, they help you protect themselves, from **** ******* ***** like you and Ben who thought he still had the hold over him phoned his friends to kidnap Adam and tie him to a bed, to cut the devil out of him, and Ben's friends were persuaded by Rob to ask Ben to the singles night, to pick up chicks, but instead they kidnap Ben and take him to Robs parents house and tie him up to the bed, with duct tape on his mouth really tight.
Ben was very scared and he tried to say through his gag, why me, and Rob said, because you keep your brother from us, we're cool, and you will be gagged here for life, so if you were cool once, your not anymore, and then the kidnappers let Ben go and Ben was too scared to teaee Adan anymore and made love with his girlfriend and he had 3 kids with her, and Adam, who was still scared, because he thought a leopard doesn't change his spots, still was too scared of life, but every time he saw Ben. He laughed secretly to himself, because Ben is no longer his holder, some say, Ben is now scared to mess with Adam, but others say, that Ben didn't know right from wrong, really, and he was just being a kid, and now he's an adult, and those days are behind him, and all the kidnapping thoughts are over, Adam was relieved, and now Ben is his best friend,

You see I am a cool kid
I am being mucked with by everyone
I love life mate
I am a cool kid mate
I watch interesting television
And I party at fun events
I am a cool kid better than my family
Some members of my family treat me like ****
Like I don’t belong in this world
You see I don’t help many people but I do want to help
You see I am a cool kid
I am being mucked with by all
I love YouTube but I am not addicted
I don’t want to get bullied because I am cool
My dad said he doesn’t wanna be cool
But now his next life is being pretty loud
You see I am cool I am cool
The coolest dude around
I love family life and I am no hooligan, no
I love life like a real family cool kid does
I am a cool kid a cool kid
I live my life for having fun
I kick conservertives up the ***
Even when all the conservatives were saying they want me off the street I said slowly that I am a cool kid who loves life more
Than anyone of those conservative *****
I am a cool kid a cool kid
I am being mucked with by all family people, if you have the
Need to be conservative you should risk getting kicked up the ***
Stick you fucken rules up ya fucken ***
Cause I am a cool kid a cool kid
Who really lives my life to the fullest

my brain is a magnet
attracting itself to you
and my heart is a wrench
fixing the toilet
these incantations to raise
you up
these words to make you holy
have me on my knees
with the ****-mucked tiles
but I wouldn’t change
any of it
no
I’d do anything for you
my soul will split
at the rack before
I ever mutter a word
love
how dare I!
I thought I was better
I thought I could look
without touching
speak without breathing
feel without loving
disaster
fortuitous
storm of color
spray me red
splay me naked
for the world to see
my fingers are inspired
to write a friend
in history
in my heart
forever

the 3 mental health conditions i have



depression, when i lose my jobs, and  when i lose my way in life, i go into a deep depression

or it could be anxiety, like like i go out, but when people treat me like one of their mob, i go into

a shell, saying, i am not a hooligan, i am a family person, and i would winge about this for days

i was thinking that other people, were trying to fight me because i am trying to be a street person

and the voice was saying you and your brother ain’t like us, you see, i always have been teased

by other poor people, because i am poor too, and i remember in the bar, i wanted to go to the bar

to have a beer, and these men wanted me to play with them, i was too young to understand, that they

were just using me, and i felt i was getting hassled, day in and day out, by the working class, it doesn’t stop

me from helping them, but i prefer to help the homeless, or disadvantaged at common ground, and

i look at common ground plans, and it could be how i visioned, when people yell at me, i go, leave me

alone, mate, i am a family person, i felt people were taking my job away from me, every day, i know now

that they weren’t, but i felt people were saying, i am sorry, your not cut out for helping us, today

i was really crazy, i implied to this man, who was doing the washing up, that i wanted to do this

he was upset, maybe, it is not depression, it’s me being anxious to help people, with my past, voices

saying don’t muck with brian, saying he is still a shy person, and despite all the good things i did

i left them, but the reason why i did, because, i was paranoid, that, i was being put in a little situation

by the people at the rainbow, like me being *******, in the craft room, i remember that note very well, i was

very uneducated about this, and i was trying to make it up to my mum after yelling at her and dad when i was young

and when i was drunk, and i wanted to be nice to everyone, but my kindness could have killed me, like i was

arguing with everyone, getting defensive so to speak, and i ate a lot of food and nearly died of obesity. well

i could say, i did die, of obesity, i am getting voices, every time i say i want to **** me when i was young, when i mean

the evil streak in me, the voice says, don’t, i liked that little guy, and he really did like that little guy, it could have

been created from the simpsons, there was a problem when i was working at the rainbow, i gave into temptation, where

i mucked with people who mucked around, but i still did my cooking and creative writing, and now, i have so many stories

to share with my youtube generation, but i was making mum and dad relax around me, and that is all i care about, and

then the crazy delusions i was getting when i killed my loving family cat, delusions were coming into my head, at first

i thought it was cool, i was hearing old mates and all my family, all gathering and the voices were great, and i tried every time

my parents got cranky, i tried to calm down, you see my parents would cry over spilt milk, literally, and then wondered why i

got cranky with them, i made a joke saying dad, don’t cry over spilt milk, dad got cranky and said, implying he was a clean person

and we should feel guilty about dropping anything on the floor, i said to dad, accidents to accure, and dad said, yeah but you need

to be more careful, and i wanted to escape my parents, because they were such projectionists in everything they did, and i found

out that leaving my house in a mess, was my way of playing cool for them, maybe in 2004, they were cleaning my house for me

before i went to hospital, but, i found mum and dad, as i said, real perfectionists, everything had to be perfect, i found it hard to

understand that my house if messy could spell eviction, but i was living in the backyard, yeah, mum and dad help, but i find a little

too much, i was doing fine when i moved in my new flat in hawker, i cleaned it every day, until i went into hospital, but dad

still wanted to be a dad, and i wanted him to be a friend, because, him and mums way wasn’t helping me, i understand where

it should help me, but it flaming didn’t, ya see i hated that little situation, where dad and mum were treating me like a 4 year old boy

so i brought back the memories for dad, saying why don’t you smoke again dad, saying, you seemed happier when you smoked

because, dad said, don’t argue with me be a BUDDHIST, i am a buddhist, but unlike christians, buddha allows a bit of teasing as

long as it is done in a peaceful, dad is dead, and now dad is betty campbell, but i want mum to one day understand this, because

i feel she is dwelling in all this, and she is worrying about me, but, i prefer the life of enjoyment, and i like community spirit

you see i liked and still like how men used to say i am doing a wonderful job, i was visioning dad turning off me, like he was

dwelling in the past, i told dad that his father is macauley culkin, but he actually is ryan clark, and mums dad is macauley culkin

i know this cause i am cronus, i liked when men said to me, keeping busy, mate, keeping out of trouble, mate

because i liked helping in the community, but mum and dad, i feel, were treating me like an old fogie, when they were complaining

about me doing volunteer work, i liked volunteering, every job was fun, mum and dad just worried about me, but in hindsight

i didn’t want them to worry, ok i never liked all that being my mums son, nor i hated being a little kid, i sit there and let us big adults

muck around, i liked how i was feeling down in the dumps, and i rang up dad and mum and we’ll doing the same thing

then i heard dad say, i am not mucking around in cool kid groups with brian, like a real **** would say, you see i was being an adult

i hated how dad tried to be like the in crowd, there is nothing wrong with that, but he looked like he was worried, i felt like saying

STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SON BRIAN, AND RELAX, i tried to get him to relax by asking him to watch the cricket

and other shows, he refused, and now dad is dead, he is betty campbell now, but dad obsessed with doing everything perfect

if ya wanna copy dad, fine, but, i want to have better people around me, ok, to have PARTIES, dudes

rather than just doing it with mum, i am saving for adelaide on nye and the carols in the domain as well in sydney

PLEASE BUDDHA, BRING DAD CLOSER TO ME, ON TV, i miss him

The missus wanted to go out;
I wanted to stay in.
So I did the washing-up
And emptied out the bin.
But still she wasn’t too impressed;
She was determined, I could see.
I needed to improve my odds
And it occurred to me;
Perhaps I should just toss a coin
To have an even chance;
So I suggested it to her
And she gave me such a glance!
She said, “You are so tight;
Have you a ‘double-headed coin’?”
I asked, “Would I do that to you?”
She said, No!  Use one of mine!”
Then she handed me a ten-pence piece;
I tossed it in the air.
It hit my thumb as it came down
And bounced to who knows where?
Deciding it had found a crack
Right beside me in the flooring;
I went and fetched my tool-box out
And soon began on sawing.
“Leave it!  It is just ten-pence!”
That’s what the missus said;
But I said that we didn’t know
Whether it was tail or head?
Seeing how determined I’d become
She left me on my own;
Went off in a strop
And soon began to moan!
I heard her say, “He’ll wreck the house
Just for a silly coin!”
She came to offer me another
But still, I did decline.
I smashed the tongue and groove
And slowly lifted up the floor
But when I looked into the space;
I took fright at what I saw.
There was a cavity right below;
Between the house-brick void
Because the coin was not around,
Well it must have fell inside.
So off I scurried down the stair
As fast as I could go
And with my lump-hammer and chisel
I gave such a mighty-blow!
About an hour later on
I’d smashed out half a brick;
The missus was annoyed with me
And said, ‘I made her sick!’
I pushed my hand inside the gap;
Then I ferreted about,
Got my hand stuck sideways
And could not get it out!
The missus grabbed me by the belt
Then she pulled with all her might;
She could not move me anyway
So she disappeared from sight.
She returned with Fairy-liquid
And squirted it on my wrist;
Pulling-it and pushing-it
I soon regained a fist.
But, there still appeared no coin;
My hand was black and blue!
The missus asked me to give-up;
There was nothing else to do.
She said it was too late now;
Even if we wanted to go out.
We might even have enjoyed ourselves
If I hadn’t mucked-about!
It seemed to me, she’d took the ****;
I disliked her attitude
And after all the work I’d done
I found it very rude!
I said, “It won’t take long
To put it back together.”
She said, ‘she didn’t give one,
She’d reached the end of a long-tether!’
Off she went to bed
Without wishing me goodnight!
I followed her just after,
‘Cause I sensed things wasn’t right.
She was lying there in bed
With a face ‘as dark as sin’;
Said she had a throbbing-head
And that she didn’t want me in!
Off I went into the spare-room
Feeling like a condemned-man;
All I’d done was for the best,
If it hadn’t gone to plan!
At times like this, when I feel down,
I fancy something hot
So off I trotted down the stairs
And boiled-up the ***.
Back inside the bedroom
With hot-chocolate in my cup;
I threw my trousers on the bed
And something fell from my turn-up.
Would you believe; it was the coin?
It really made me smile
After all the fuss I’d made
It had been there all the while!
I dashed right in to tell the wife
Thinking she’d be ‘chuffed!’
I said, “We’ll have to toss again!”
But she just yelled, “GET STUFFED!”

.
I am part soul,
I'm here for a kiss.
I grasp at her stars'
photosynthesis.

My long lost Atlantis,
a rose from dead seas.
She shows me the doors,
but hands me no keys.

I'm the fallen columns
all scattered about.
"Twenty thousand leagues!"
I heard someone shout.

She's my chipped chiseled stone
below the mucked mire
that leads me beyond
Calcutta's cold fire.

Ah! Lethargic genius,
there's gathering birds
where dogs lap at the *****
we mistook for your words.

She hides in my veins
while it's raining outside.
She's my universal
osmosis suicide.

She really is...






.

She had
Big luscious
**** ******* lips
Scrumptiously
A ***** *****
With tattoos
Across her ****
And an ***
That any man
Would kiss
Despite
The ***
And the ****
Already on it
She had sass
And would *****
On *****
As her mascara ran
But she wasn't sick
Her every ******* tear
Immaculate
She was a submissive
So dismissive
When you hit her
She came
And begged
For another
With her
Bloodied pucker
Of mucked lovers
She was a nasty *****
Leaving lipstick
On rich boys
And Leroy's
And she
Would ****
Or ****
Just about
Anything
To get lit
As she elongated
Her words
Like a *****
Southern ******
Slurring her verbs
With dead birds
In her hand
And fear
In her heart
She fanned
Her flames
And scrubbed
The stains
From predictable
Strangers
Strangling her
While getting ******
From every angle
Dangling her soul
In her mangled holes
She cried
And cried for more
Reap and sow
The *****
From her nose
As every man knows
To blow as she chokes
Such a beautiful throat
And that walk
That walk of a *****
That every man adores
That other girls
Only wished for
And she loved it
The attention
The erections
The affection
The infections
She was addicted
To ****
And knew it
She was a ****
Strutting her stuff
Letting her **** out
Of her blouse
Just to arouse
The curiosity
Of your spouse
And wreck
Your house
She couldn't get enough
She'd eat your girl out
Before getting ******
She was down
For anything
Or anyone
A **** ** bag
That we all
Tagged twice
Once for fun
And once alive
I was her life
She was my wife
She was a
kick in the face
Away from fame
And she would
Say anything
Anything
To get away
Until she
Didn't

Truth once singular  .  .  .
Mucked all up with politics,
  .  .  .  In cowl of falsehoods.

you know one thing i hated as a kid, is not being included, because every kid

wants to be included, i love life, i love to PARTY, i love being normaL I hate nothing

nothing at all, you see i had this friend named patrick back in those days, and he

never yelled at me, i hear him  yelling at me  in my head, but that is the cosmos, you

see i tried to be like him, because he helped me more than anyone else, took me to jimmy barnes

concerts, and i liked him, and he took me to nye parties, and we certainly partied all night

even when i crashed over his house, cause i didn’t want to show dad how ****** i was, pat

never yelled like a *****, but i turned out to be a ***** in the end, because i had too much

creative energy i had to get rid of, and i was a ****, until i started seeing carers, they have all

helped me by making me understand that he ain’t my daddy, but i still wanted to see him

but i have to realise, we are adults now, and we have to grow up, when i am watching chris rock

i am hearing nonsense voices of my mates hating black people but i learnt from the messiah that

black people are good comedians and good athletes, there is a lot of knowledge in black people

more so than in white people, blacks are struggling day in and day out, while us whites get it easy

and i am saying patrick was the nicest white person i have ever met after meeting a few aussies at

the cricket, i liked patrick back then because he helped me understand a bit about my family, to whom

i used to get cranky with, well, mainly he was showing me what my family was doing with them, ya know

the other kids, anyway, i have no ideas what patrick is doing now, but i hope he is working in a top high class job

because i am an artist, and writer and youtube entertainer, when i go to bed, i ain’t like canary bird, and i ain’t

a koomarri man, i just fall asleep on the bed with the radio on to keep me company, and when i yell at my voices

i am basically saying, i AM THE BIG PARTY PERSON, I PROVIDE PARTIES FOR ALL, i have moved out now

so come on DUDES, because going out is fun, patrick taught me that, my head is saying, he didn’t wanna do that

because i don’t like yelling at people, i prefer if i yell, i yell at the cosmos, because bailey from the show NEIGHBOURS

‘when he yelled, he looked like a CRAZY person, making the man say ‘YOU’RE CRAZY BAILS’ and that man who said

that told bailey he was crazy, reminded me of patrick, in the way of saying, patrick was a very nice person, he didn’t have to yell

if i meet patrick again, i will explain i am an artist and writer and youtube ****** and then i will tell patrick, i have always liked the computer

it’s just that i like going out having fun too, i have been thrown out of houses or flats, but patrick never did, so that makes him

number 1, out of school chums who i mucked with at school, and i like the joke by chris rock, men can’t go backwards sexually while

women can’t go backwards in lifestyle, i know we said imagine what lylle would do, here, imagine what lyle would, there, imagine

what lyle would in any place, yeah mate yeah, i am cool, i remember playing heavy metal music loud with patrick, as well and playing

basketball as well,  now patrick, whether he liked christmas or not, he still put his xmas tree up, i can tell you one thing though, i am

a buddhist who loves christian holidays, and i had fun teasing the old army men, who fought and died for this country, you see

this year is the 100 th year of gallipoli, and it’s an oldie thing to tease with music now, because young army codgers are in it

to be there for their country, patrick is a heavy metal ******, mainly liking jimmy barnes and me, as cronus put dad in barnesy’s family

as his little granddaughter betty, so dad, the old army codger from way back can learn the nice parts of jimmy barnes

i remembered patrick singing when your love is gone, and i liked him singing it, but i was looking at his legs, i was CRAZY

because i shouldn’t look at people’s legs, i am not gay, i am a man with problems, i have changed from all that nonsense of my minds past

i am now the new and improved brian allan, but i realise that patrick might not like me saying this, but he helped me, by not getting cranky AT me

i just want to make peace with my good mate, opatrick, because, he might have been ******* with my criime

and because of that crime, and because he was nice, when i saw he was cranky, i left him to head down the mall to be big bad brian

and the best way to get a guy over to a girl’s house, is put a ***  on the stove and you will have every man breaking down your door

you see, i was hearing crazy teasing in my head, and patrick’s voice was saying, is he trying to be like mr allan, i thought he was trying

to be like us, tease him, fight him, bully him around, and patrick still doesn’t know that channel 9’s karl stefanovic reminded me of patrick’s cool kid

to my mind but i have to tread to carefully there because patrick might have been trying to be like craig from kingswood country, he might hate

karl stefanovic, it’s just he reminded me of patrick, what is wrong with visions, pat might hate karl stefanovic, well his cool kid does anyway

and my cool kid is ***** hogan and sam marshall, patrick is a young dude figure

the reason i have hooligan voices



you see, when all the families were teasing me, cause they were rich *****

and the kids who were teasing me were stuck up rich kids

i felt the only mates i had were the heavy metal hooligans, mind you

i was getting mixed messages, on this, by the families, but i felt

that was the reason, they wanted me to be a family person, so

they can call me stupid or dummy, or give me fucken wee

ya see., all this drove me to hooligan behaviour cause these mates were nice to me

they let me into their homes with open arms

you see, we sang all sorts of songs, to scare away the stupid teasing family people

who, are cool kids to their dads and mums, while, me i was out playing with the real hooligans

ya know, partying, and i teased gerald, in the town centre tavern because he was a uni nerd

and i was remembering hooligans allowing me to be one of them

you see even dad teased me, when he came down and did his ya know speech

and the young dudes behind me, knew what dad meant

so i pretended to be peter buchanan, to show the young dudes at the back

what dad’s ya know argument, really sounded like

you have to do this, ya know, you have to do that ya know

every which way ya know, F    U     C    K    O    F   F   OLD TIMER

you see the hooligans mucked with me in cool kid groups

because i threw beer bottles on the roof of the school

you see, it is me the reason why they put fences around schools, so we can’t vandalise the school with out beer bottles

you see, hooligans made me feel great, when nobody else would

the families were too scared of their precious egos, to be my mate or friend

so i made myself a hooligan, because they were nice, i am not shy with the hooligans

but, i was the only one being nice to them

the families were being stuck up

i am listening to bon jovi singing blaze of glory and i sang

shot down in a pair of ******, shot down in party town

when we go out in just a pair of ******

we never drew once, but we drew first blood, my ****** are the devil’s son

you call me hooligan, but that was the hooligans were nice to me

they treated like one of their clan, while the families treated me like total ****

they teased me, and i said, at least i have the music loving hooligans to muck with

their friendship was great medicine, for my disabled head, shake it up hooligan your good medicine

please buddha cure my schitzophrenic head

i said i was a hooligan to scare dad a bit, but i didn’t mean to hurt him, now he is in his grave

with me being too scared to tell him

i was a hooligan, i was a terror, i wish those families would stop teasing me

you see steven bradley was the real hooligan, and his spirit grabbed brian allan who was greame thorne

to say, you are a kidnap victim, young hooligan, you are getting T    E     A     S    E    D buddy

olds time rock and roll, this kind of music makes the families want me yeah

so i play deep purple, iron maiden and kiss and bon jovi and jimmy barnes

and muck with the hooligans buddy ole boy ole chum ole pal

dude, i was a hooligan, getting teased by the families, i hate those families who teased me

i hate being teased full-stop, i hate getting fought full stop

i want to muck with everyone who is willing to PARTY

AND PARTY I SHALL, i was a hooligan, but i am on medication to calm him

no medication alive, will make me be nasty to POOR PEOPLE, dudes, no way hoizei

hi dudes


welcome to saturn club rings, and today, i am dropping in to tell you that

athena is operating on my prostate, and as long as i take this medication, and

watch what i eat, and last night,, also i was forced to marry this ugly woman

named redmond forrester, when i wanted to marry a beautiful young 17 year old girl

named caitlin jones, who really liked me, but, unfortunately so did redmond

and when it came to the wedding day, caitlin jones was dropping hints, that i speak up

about not wanting to marry redmond, and eventually i did, but caitlin wanted me to speak up earlier

so she can avoid looking like a fluesy who is after any future money payments, because

she really wanted my money and power, that i showed, and i told caitlin about all the stuff the

cosmos has to offer, like athena working on your prostate and don’t forget athena works on your teeth

to save you the disastrous medical bills on earth, and it is working, you see i am pooling more freely

and i am also losing the pain in my mouth from tooth aches, and caitlin jones loves the idea of

me seeing athena for medical problems and tried to ruin my arranged marriage with redmond forrester

so i can marry caitlin jones, i remember i was telling jokes to neil power and he liked the jokes i told so much,

he said, brian, i really enjoy your company, cause i don’t know what your going to say next, and i enjoyed

mucking around with him and murray flynn who died of cancer, he was another man that was cool, you see

we mucked around together, you know joking around, ya know so to speak, and he told me, he admired my

ability to work in a place that isn’t really a job for me, and make it look like a job for me, but he died of cancer

and i miss him, and then their was alan who lived near my parents, i used to talk about the swans to him, actually he

made me feel great about how i used to be, ya know, trying to get on canberra TV, at the cannons matches, you see alan

told me that he used to line outside the news stand for the latest news on swans matches and other things like that

and alan also told me, he used to love me and my brother chris play sport in the front yard, and our conversations

were great every time we crossed paths, and as athena was working on my prostate, pulling out my hooligan, i once told pat

i wanted to be, you see athena told me that my problems are the hooligan i was once, coming back to me, i am a family person,

and then i started to think, the good die young, what with olga chick, and murray flynn and mark jones and the pains in the ***

continue to live on past their prime, well athena said, you need to take better care of yourself, instead of a 2 litre bottle of coke

have a can of coke and tonight at the poetry slam, look after your body right and you will not collapse on stage, and this afternoon

don’t over talk at the acting course, especially if you want something good from this, and i can guarantee that your problems with your

body can go away and then dad sent a big thunderstorm toward canberra to wake me up, saying brian’s not like me

and the thunderstorm was, dad was working his new earth body, elizabeth ann campbell, to get her parents to keep the mood positive

anyway,

Prayers will help, the pastor said.
Hands joined, rest on her stomach,
the blue dress, neat and clean, her
hair set just so. Eyes closed, lips

mouthed prayers. Behind closed eyes
memories stirred, waking giants,
deep feelings woke from dark sleep.
Light from open window warmed

eyelids, skin, hands. She saw behind
lids, shadowy figures, deeds done.
Some other place, other time, all
remembered, recalled. She bit her

lip between teeth. Sensed the smell,
familiar scent, odour more. His not
hers. Side by side, smells, memories,
deeds and music, sensations and

feelings of uncleanness. Just this
once he had said. Just the once.
More after. Each time deeper, more
hurtful. None had known. So said.

Some must have. Time and tide.
She felt sunlight on cheek. Eyes
behind lids moved.  Shadows lingered,
dark room brought sweat and damp

beneath armpits. Clothes removed,
by whom? She or another? Where
was Mother? Father lost at sea. No
return, body lost, sea swallowed.

The bed warm, shutters closed, lie
still, said he. There was that candle.
Yes, remembered that. Light moved
in draft’s touch, slight, not overmuch.

She sensed even the now the then’s
feel, the touches, the pains, thrusts.  
Bathing brought no cleanness, no
undoing, no removing from mind’s

surface the worms of dark deeds.
Prayers will aid, pastor claimed,
what he didn’t know of, just general
stuff, depression, sadness on skin’s

surface, bags under eyes, weeping
over meals.  Dressed such as she did,
plain, no frills or glamour or over
the top colours and patterns. Not

wanting to attract, she clothed dull.
She had been undone, ill used, nightly
mucked, and unknown to Mother, ******.

we are treating you like a little young dude, when i try and do a raiders show


i can’t help it, if i can’t be confident for the raiders

they never seem to win

i can’t help it, but i can try and do a show about the raiders

but it’ll never workout

i always sing at the end, as we draw the final curtain, and the raiders lost again

and that drives me mad, seeing they were so great back in the late 80s

you are nothing but a hound dog, barking all the time

you have never caught a rabbit and your ain’t no mate of mine

you see i can put my raiders show on, i can celebrate

but what if they lose, i know i shouldn’t worry

who is our best football team, who comes out and tries to win

and who will score a lot of tries, it must be canberra it must be canberra

it must be the might of the canberra team

you see i want to be there for the raiders, but they always seem to lose

and when they do win, it seems to be a fluke

and i play my show, and i am trying not to be a hooligan

because living in canberra, especially in rugby league you feel like a hooligan

when you support you team, it’s the same with the brumbies

but i shouldn’t be ashamed to do my show

but i don’t want to be a hooligan, but in hindsight i know i am trying to show my community spirit

and i want to have fun doing the raiders show, because, it puts me out there

i know, when i was at a arts centre opening, these people really liked what i do

they admire my integrity, i am trying to show my community spirit

and it makes me feel great, when people think i am cool enough

to put my raiders show on, whether they win or lose

pour some sugar on me, the raiders are against the sharks this weekend

rocket, oh yeah, get ready for a rocket baby

the bad and mean green machine, fiersome men from the ACT

don’t try and stop those men in green, or we’ll hit ya hit ya hit ya

and you’ll see green, i wanna do my raiders show, no matter

what my voices say, i know the raiders ****, but it’s great to try and get behind them

you see i am going to battle my voices when i put this show on

and i hope, i can do well, cause mate if i wanna be famous

i have to put my raiders show on against my voices

i will conquer them, i hate being treated like a hooligan or a little young dude

who is too shy to put shows on youtube, all because i felt good when

kids mucked with me, saying raiders **** don’t they, man

but it could’ve been a tease because the kid was really partying

and i feel like taking over the party scene, no the raiders aren’t that good, but i wanna be famous

and i am battling my voices whether you guys like it or not

so i will do brumbies night live friday night and the raiders show sunday night

watch it on AAA youtube TV, to see how i entertain

And every eight years i became someone else, it was as though i was a pilot, living vicariously through my-selves, until

one stuck

And began decaying in a foray of dying cells

Mucked

In gray hairs, and ridged nails

Locked thoughts and rituals

Blinding me
Binding me
Writhing in me

From the lights of tomorrow

I tried to find peace, in my reduction to ashes

Soundless peace

Humming me to sleep

In the eve of my memory to the masses

Stashed in caskets and data logs

Crashed in depressive fog

And with time

I'm completely gone

With time

Nations will rise and fall

Land following suit

Giving way to life within a womb of the most delicate of wounds where a flower grew

Where life is born anew
Cycling through the blessings

Hoping something catches

I wanted the gold, and I sought it;
I scrabbled and mucked like a slave.
Was it famine or scurvy—I fought it;
I hurled my youth into a grave.
I wanted the gold, and I got it—
Came out with a fortune last fall,—
Yet somehow life's not what I thought it,
And somehow the gold isn't all.

No! There's the land. (Have you seen it?)
It's the cussedest land that I know,
From the big, dizzy mountains that screen it
To the deep, deathlike valleys below.
Some say God was tired when He made it;
Some say it's a fine land to shun;
Maybe; but there's some as would trade it
For no land on earth—and I'm one.

You come to get rich (****** good reason)
You feel like an exile at first;
You hate it like hell for a season,
And then you are worse than the worst.
It grips you like some kinds of sinning;
It twists you from foe to a friend;
It seems it's been since the beginning;
It seems it will be to the end.

I've stood in some mighty-mouthed hollow
That's plumb-full of hush to the brim;
I've watched the big, husky sun wallow
In crimson and gold, and grow dim,
Till the moon set the pearly peaks gleaming,
And the stars tumbled out, neck and crop;
And I've thought that I surely was dreaming,
With the peace o' the world piled on top.

The summer—no sweeter was ever;
The sunshiny woods all athrill;
The grayling aleap in the river,
The bighorn asleep on the hill.
The strong life that never knows harness;
The wilds where the caribou call;
The freshness, the freedom, the farness—
O God! how I'm stuck on it all.

The winter! the brightness that blinds you,
The white land locked tight as a drum,
The cold fear that follows and finds you,
The silence that bludgeons you dumb.
The snows that are older than history,
The woods where the weird shadows slant;
The stillness, the moonlight, the mystery,
I've bade 'em good-by—but I can't.

There's a land where the mountains are nameless,
And the rivers all run God knows where;
There are lives that are erring and aimless,
And deaths that just hang by a hair;
There are hardships that nobody reckons;
There are valleys unpeopled and still;
There's a land—oh, it beckons and beckons,
And I want to go back—and I will.

They're making my money diminish;
I'm sick of the taste of champagne.
Thank God! when I'm skinned to a finish
I'll pike to the Yukon again.
I'll fight—and you bet it's no sham-fight;
It's hell!—but I've been there before;
And it's better than this by a damsite—
So me for the Yukon once more.

There's gold, and it's haunting and haunting;
It's luring me on as of old;
Yet it isn't the gold that I'm wanting
So much as just finding the gold.
It's the great, big, broad land 'way up yonder,
It's the forests where silence has lease;
It's the beauty that thrills me with wonder,
It's the stillness that fills me with peace.

You see way back in the nineties I was a hooligan from way back, but I didn't really like my father despite him being so nice to me, I said to mum that I don't understand what bugs me in dad, but I still fought or teased him, because he couldn't be my kidnapper in his previous life because all my childhood lives that were kidnapped while my dad was my dad, you see dad might've been a foe from when I played footy as Albert Waldron, yeah that might be right because I might have been a bit scared of talking about that thinking dad was an atheist or a non church going Christian who believed in heaven and hell like my mother
I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to dad about what I see in him
Because he was my dad, I know he was nice to me, but at that stage I hated his authority that he brought up, and as an adult I fought back, I was visioning war veteran or maybe he was a footy star when I played footy as Albert, you see I treated dad more like a football mate than a dad like I said how are you going cobbler and dad said mmmmmm a little boy mmmmm
He never said that exactly but in fact he was wondering why I was fighting him by saying come here briany why are you fighting us and I ran off saying oohhhh you are just a football mate but mum and dad were worried about me, and despite me still acting like a spoilt little brat, they said give him medication to calm his anxiety
Down, because my problem was anxiety and mum and dad got in my way, and I was drinking to get rid of my previous life thoughts but I became the person I never wanted to be, sometimes I told dad I was a hooligan and he said a hoodlum which was his name for a hooligan but really I was just thinking that isn't me to think things like that and before my dad's mother passed away, I yelled at my parents because they gave me a ****** room while they got a good room and dad really annoyed me, you see I might have been seeing this football player I fought with as Albert Waldron
You see dad was finding it hard to get through to me but I was thinking football foe, I have no idea why I teased dad, he tried to joke with me and all I see in him is that footy watching man
And despite him not watching the footy with me, I still saw them in him, ya know a cool kid to pat and Lyle even if I wanted to be with them because I was the footy fan of the family because I was Albert Waldron back in the late 1800s and early 1900s and I might have remembered dad from the crowd or an opposing player or even member of the pub I drank in and I was hearing voices in the pubs as I mucked around with the footy players as they called dad a great big old fogie
And I was him but I still was scared because I was still thinking of people being nice to me, ya know treating me like a little cool kid to the drinkers
But I had to grow up because I am not Albert Waldron anymore
I was in my mobile home and I was visioning people going about their duties like running and jumping having fun and fighting tying each other up
And I visioned dad getting really worried but I saw the football supporter coming down to rib me about Norwood losing but it was modernised by the raiders and the swans who weren't very good back then and one guy in the pub yelled at me for drinking from the jug and I said
Mate, I am just having a beer
You see there was a different atmosphere at the pub with dad
Yeah, I know it was father and son but when scott showed up
I was hearing voices from back
When I was Albert Waldron in my previous life
Scott was a fellow player and dad was this man cheering
I thought dad was teasing me
But really I was hearing his previous life as the old
Man in the Norwood football club, you see dad was in the middle of my voices and dad told me I was on my way to having an heart attack from smoking and drinking but I gave up drinking and smoking to try and stop the fighting but I fought dad for the last before September 11 2001 and that is where the voices stopped
But that wasn't true, that was where dad got sick of me and that was where I was determined to be Santa Claus but dad and mum was worried because of my past as a kid chaser from when I was st Nicholas of AntarcticIa and Blackbeard the pirate but mum and dad were worried about that we were fighting about that and I was visioning that old man at Norwood pub of dad's previous life and I was santa for 10 years and now my mind is saying dad is your dad but whether he was that old man in Norwood pub or Betty Campbell now, he was still my dad

The Saturn Ball, on Saturday June 8th, 2013




You see kids nowadays are having so much fun and these kids
Are inspired by the great Saturn Ball which was started by Peter
Sargent, and Scott McDonald, whose current earth lives are
Enjoying psrying together as well as tying each other up, and
On Saturn, Peter and Scott are having a big party where they
Had dancing girls like Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Montgomery
And also Dana Reeves as well,,and Peter Sargent is as *****
As a toad, and he is trying to get in the head of Brian Allan, because
He liked how Brian was nice to him before he died, and to get into
His head in the form of his best friend Patrick, you see Peter
Sargent died to get into Brian's head to make sure he doesn't poo
His pants, because I actually was cool to his point of view
When he saw me in the Page Tavern all the years ago
And it was about that time, when Patricks voice was getting
Into full swing, and it was driving me crazy miss daisy
Before then Scott McDonald died and also got into Brian's head
And he chose Patrick's voice as well, but he was the voice saying
Brian is not like us, Brian is not like us,,Chris used to be like us
When he was really really young, but Brian isn't like us,no way,,no fear
The thing is, Peter and Scott aren't worried how they use these voices
They just want to make Brian be cool to a young dudes point of view
Because, Scott thought Patrick was weird, and didn't want to be
In the same room as him, and despite me trying to talk to him
Scott wanted just to tease me, cause I wanted to be like Patrick
And there was only one opportunity and that was to die and get unti
Brian Allans brain and push Patrick's voice trying to tease him
Scott said, I am not a family person anymore, I want Brian to suffer
So we'll turn Patrick against him by holding our own Saturn ball
And Patricks voice was also Peter Sargent trying to put into Brian 's
Head that Patrick was Joining the young dudes
To tease Brian, I couldn't understand this, and I said
Leave me alone Pat, but his voice was Peter Sargent
Saying to Patrick, you are like us, and Brian Allan is a little shy boy
Who has no known friends, anyway, Patrick is the innocent party
He still likes me, you know it was Peter Sargent who planted his
Voice from the sound of Patricks voice to bug the **** out of Brian
But the main reason was that, Brian had it give up beer
And work on himself, and eventually he will figure it out
Peter Sargent, and Scott McDonald, who got into
Brian's brother Chris's voice in trying to make Chris doing what I did with Patrick
Which means Patrick mucked with Chris as he would muck with me
But hello, it was really Peter Sargent and Scott McDonald
And in the last two days, Peter Sargent and Scott McDonald are
Holding the first ever Saturn Ball, and everyone is partying all night
And Peter Sargent is pushing onto his brain, and the earth life
I somewhere on earth going through a lot of trouble
Peter Sargent cracked open the wine bottle and everyone partied

Fay met Baruch
by Arch Street
off of Meadow Row
he was by

the bombed out ruins
across the way
firing his catapult
at tin cans

and empty bottles
she stood at his side
hands in the pockets
of her cardigan

fair hair held
in place by a slide
not firing at the birds
are you?

she asked
looking anxious
no just cans
and bottles

he said
she seemed relieved
and stepped closer
hate to see things hurt

or killed
she said
he tucked the catapult
into the belt

of his jeans
and wiped his hands
on the blue cloth
your old man

let you out then?
he said
she looked about her
in case her father

was near at hand
to hear
my father’s off
for the day

she said
some church things
she added
good to have you here

Baruch said
he stared at her
taking in her hair
and eyes

and her mouth ajar
lips and small teeth
the patterned dress
coming to the knees

red on yellow
going to the flicks later
you want to come?
he asked

she frowned in thought
where?
Camberwell Green
he said

the picture house
is a fleapit
but the film’s good
she blinked

wiped her nose
no money
she said
Dad said to read

Mark Chapter 9
all through
before he gets home
and he will

question me
and if I don’t know it
she became silent
and looked away

Baruch caught sight
of a bruise yellowing
on her right brow
he’d not seen

until she moved
her hair by hand
to wipe her nose
when’s he back?

Baruch asked
late tonight
she said
best not go

she looked across
the bomb site
towards the coal wharf
where horse drawn wagons

came and went
or coal lorries  
along the small road
carrying their load

got time to take in
a film
he said
be back and study then

the Bible bit
she bit her lip
still got no money
she said

looking back at him
standing there
in jeans and blue shirt  
and mucked up hair

I’ve got 2/6d
that’ll do for us to go
and ride and see
and ride on back

she hesitated
looked concerned
if I don’t know St Mark 9
there’ll be hell to pay

(strapped backside
more like he thought
but didn’t say)
we can scan the pages

once we’re back
and gulp it down
and swot it up
he said

she stared
at her plimsolls
white ankle socks
the stones

and bricks
of the bomb site ground
tempted she said
ok

wanting to go
and be with him
she weighed
the balance

in her mind
pushing possible
punishment to the back
of her mind

already he was walking
towards the bus stop
across the bombsite
in casual pace

she followed
taking his hand in hers
unaware her father
from the top

of a bus
had seen
and taking note
knowing what to say

and do
she being
with that kid again
the downstairs Jew.

Mr mason was a ****
You see he used a stick
He titled iddy armin and if
Anyone was naughty
He would crack it on our knuckles
Even if we laughed with our friends the stick would whack our knuckles
You see that was his brand of discipline just like a big rich powerful *****
You see some people say that
Discipline like that helps them stay out of trouble but in my personal opinion it forces kids to break laws thinking it is ok to hit other people or it forces you to think it is ok to yell at other adults
You see mr mason started all that
It was his fault that I didn't have a good education because I was always thinking about his precious iddy armin
And how if I mucked up
I would have it whacked across my knuckles
I turned out to be a good man
But no thanks to mr mason
Calling a stick after a famous dictator
You see people have gone through life thinking I never got in trouble but while they were thinking that I thought of iddy armin going across my fucken
****** knuckles **** it ******
Hurt like crazy
Mr mason was a *******, man

I wounded myself, to feel how it felt, razor stripes of my life trickled from my arms, and chest, i tested how it felt, again, how it felt, to hurt, and i lurked, in these tears of trickery until they dried.

I remember looking into hate for a well of ailments, but just layered laments on my fragility, but I still remembered the memories, as they blurred through times passing, fast forwarding right past me, pulsing, flashing.

I Remember the blasts of my friend, as his head cracked on a trunk, six bullets, rolled back eyes, pink foam, and a rasping noise, and all i thought was to catch his breath, one last concept, as it slipped on by.

Not one tear, not one cry, neither him nor I.

And I, still feel the feeling of those wondrous eyes of mine, gasping unto beautiful skies, in the sweet sweet surprise, of something bigger, something so profound, as to drown the world in doubt, of its thinking.

So young, so innocently brilliant.

And I remember sinking pits of regrets, and things i wish i said, as i bled, in tears, before the years stole the deepest emotions ill ever know, and strolled through uncontrollable turmoil, in rolls, and waves, of the tolls, Ive paid, in coils, of hate, all balled up in haste, and chucked at the door, mucked of the core, spilling its guts, on the mudhuts of my humanity.

Humility unborn until true scorn pierced center mass, penetrating my soul, my coal, my face, and my masks, changing me, redirecting my intentions again, to the forbidden zen, of absolutely ******* nothing.

Not a bird chirp, a cricket, or wind.

Not a frown, smile, or squint.

******* nothing.

And i remember my operational function, unplugged and bludgeoned, in the intoxication of girls, that whirled right past me, leaving blood, ***, *****, and glass, in my shadow, lifting from the ground, proudly striking down, everything but what mattered, as it shattered my heart, into a million fragmentation's that popped, on every person it came across.

I remember everything, like another's memory, remembering something at the door of knowing, before dying upon its showing, of the path, the caste, the infinite black, staring back from the black, and laid upon me the eyes to look back, and see that it wasn't me, and suddenly ...

I remembered nothing.

Remember that time,
When we were round our friend's,
It was New Year's eve,
Another year ends.

We fell asleep holding hands,
And I never knew then,
But I do now,
As I hold this pen.

Remember that time,
When you slept round mine,
I wanted to hug you tight,
So you were mine for the night.

It was then I realised,
My feelings for you,
It's all so clear now,
My feelings are true.

Remember that time,
We all took a day trip,
The sweets and the market,
The tea we sipped.

It was a lovely day that day,
With the sky so blue,
I liked being in Salsbury,
But I loved being with you.

Remember that time,
We went to the play park,
It was Pirate themed,
We had to watch out for the shark.

We mucked around,
Like a little kid,
I remember all these things,
That we did.

Remember that time,
We stayed out in a tent,
What I said,
I truly meant.

I never felt cold,
The whole way through,
Because by my side,
There was you.

Remember that time,
We went down to the river,
It was raining hard,
I was cold and tried not to shiver.

We walked back,
You in bare feet,
All I wanted to do,
Was snuggle under the warm sheets.

Remember that time,
We caught the bus down,
To the beautiful place,
Of Christchurch town.

We walked through town,
Looking at stuff,
We walked and walked,
Until we had enough.

Remember that time,
We went to the sea,
I pushed you in,
And laughed with glee.

There was that freaky man,
Watching us play,
I still remember,
To this day.

Remember that time,
When we were together,
I still want to be with you,
Forever and ever.

THE STORY OF MY ALCOLIC GRANDFATHER FATHERING MY DAD



YOU SEE, WHEN ALEXANDER GIMBERT DIED, HE TRIED TO BRING THE FAMILY

TOGETHER, AND FIRST, HE WENT UP TO JUPITER, TO SQUIRT METHANE ALL

OVER BRIAN ALLAN, AND FORCE, MY BROTHER, INTO THINKING THAT DRINKING IS

COOL, AND THEN MADE MY BROTHER ONLY BE HIS OWN PERSON, BECAUSE

I WAS BEING MUCKED WITH BY BIG MENS KIDS WHO WANTED TO DRINK

BEER, AND ALSO, MY DAD, WAS WORRIED, WHY I WAS FIGHTING HIM, BUT

ALEXANDER AND CLARRY JUST WANTED DAD TO GO TO BED, TREATING

BRIAN LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY, NOT CARING HOW I ACTED AT SCHOOL

BECAUSE BRIAN USED A LOT OF ***** MOUTH, ON DAD, AND CLARRY’S

REINCARNATION, WHICH IS RYAN CLARK, THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED SAM MARSHALL

ON HOME AND AWAY, TRYING TO EXPLAIN MY FATHERS MANS KID, BUT

BECAUSE IT WAS IN THE 1990s, THEY HAD TO GET WITH THE MODERN TIMES,

ALEXANDER GIMBERT, IS NOW DAVID CAMPBELL, WHO IS FATHER OF MY DADS

NEW REINCARNATION, ELIZABETH CAMPBELL, YOU SEE, DAVID’S BACKGROUND

MATCHES WHAT ALEXANDER WANTED FOR US, AND THE FACT THAT PATRICK WAS

INTO JIMMY BARNES WHO IS DAVID’S FATHER, YOU SEE, I GO AROUND TELLING

EVERYONE THAT MACAULEY CULKIN WAS CLARRY, BUT WHEN I COME TO THINK OF IT

RYAN CLARK MAKES MORE SENSE, AND, HE IS A PROFFESIONAL LIFEGUARD, WHICH

HE STUCK AT HIS GUNS, TO MAKE A VERY GOOD LIFEGUARD, JUST LIKE EVERYONE IN MY

FAMILY, YOU SEE I AIN’T LIKE THE OTHERS IN MY FAMILY, ONE REASON BECAUSE, I WANT

TO BE A FAMOUS ARTIST AND WRITER, AND I ENTERTAINER ON YOUTUBE, AND ALEXANDER

GETS INTO MY HEAD, TO MAKE ME KEEP SAYING, I LIKE ART AND WRITING, YOU SEE

CLARRY WANTED FOR ALL THAT HAPPENED BEFORE DAD DIED, AS THE DEMONS, USED

ALEXANDER GIMBERTS SOULD TO FORCE ME TO THROW ALL MY BELONGINGS OVER THE BALCONY

AND THEN MAKE ME GO TO HOSPITAL, TO EXPLAIN MY BELIEFS WITH A LOT OF WEIRD CHATTER

AND MADE IT CLEAR TO THEM, THAT I LIKE TELEVISION, ACTUALLY THERE IS A VERY STRANGE

SITUATION HERE, YOU SEE OLGA CHICK, AN OLD LADY BRIAN ALLAN LOVED TO TALK TO AT VINNIES

SUDDENLY DIED AND WAS REINCARNATED AS THE OLDER BOY LEO CAMPBELL, AND LEO IS PROUD

TO BE A BIG BROTHER TO ELIZABETH CAMPBELL (DAD) AND WILLIAM CAMPBELL (ROBIN WILLIAMS)

AT PRESENT ALEXANDER AND CLARRY HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH DAD, TO TRY AND BRING FUN

INTO DADS NEXT LIFE, YOU SEE, I GOT A PHOTO FRAME OF PUTTING DADS OLD MAN, THROUGH

THE POWERS OF BUDDHA, REINCANTATE TO ELIZABETH CAMPBELL, AND MY NANNA IS WATCHING OVER

US, AND HER CURRENT EARTH LIFE JOHN ROBERT REMIEL, IS CURRENTLY MUCKING WITH MY BROTHER

WITH MUSIC AND MUCKING WITH ME ON YOUTUBE, AND DAVID CAMPBELL WAS BORN WHEN HIS FATHER

WAS IN COLD CHISEL, MIND YOU DUDES, YOU SEE JIMMY WAS A BUDDHIST, AND ME AS CRONUS

UNDERSTOOD THAT MY ALCOHOLIC GRANDFATHER DIED, BECAME SON OF JIMMY BARNES

AND NOW, FATHER OF MY FATHER, HOPEFULLY WE CAN MAKE THE FIGHTING ALEXANDER USED TO

DO TO MY MUMS MUM, AN OLD FOGIE THING, SO NOW POP IS NOW DADS FATHER, THROUGH THE EYES

OF BUDDHA EVERYONE IS RELATED

For a summer resort as a teen
I had the job of cleaning latrines,
three months at minimum wage.
Nobody said, “Good job, well done.”
But it was.

I’ve repaired septic tanks from within.
Mucked in mud laying pipe.
Scraped asbestos. Hot-mopped a roof.
Shoveled bat guano.
Nobody gave me a medal.
Just cash.

Be humble. Do your share.
Society will be better. Civilization more civil,
you a stronger you, it’s really true,
more worthy than those fat cats in their mansions
who I dare not name or
they’d send legal thugs to bury me
in lawyer manure.

Forget latrines. Think billionaires.
They bought the news. Congress. Supreme Court.
Learn about salvage, about repair.
Learn to fix rot at the foundation and work toward the top.
Zoning board. Town council. State assembly. Governor.
Step by step go higher.
Then ask what shitwork is.
And let’s get busy.

elephants have memories
long,
to my way of thinking,
that must be hell!

imagine, remembering
in detail,
fine and complete.

the days of your life.
beginning at number one,
when all slippery,
slimed and mucked,
you were forcibly expelled,
into a world, of hard knocks.


image, each stumbling step
as you grew,
each slur,
each pointed arrow flung your way,

first fall, first hit, first miss
first kiss and all the desperation, set between.

and then,
you hit your teens.
emotionally bruised and battered
and running for the bell
placing 563rd  in the
contest of popularity.
trying new styles of clothes, dreams and personalities.
hormones raging, momma texing, paging,
virginity flexing
and all the other
****** bluff...guff....stuff
..."hell yeah i can never get enough"

finally you get to remember,
the grown up stuff.
projects due, bills to pay,
finding somewhere half decent to stay, grocery lists,
other people constantly ******,
in a it's all your fault kinda way.
deadlines,
diminishing lifelines, standing in unemployment lines,
waiting to pay a fine lines,
playing mine or yours in
your divorce foray.
and honest to god,
thats just the day to day
k-rap.
living low and *****
until the next pay comes along.

ok, there would be,
indeed some,
remembered joys,
some flowers,
among the weeds.
but thats mere fodder
and seeds,
for a better poem .....
written on a better day.

so finally you are old.
you are so, over it!
all creak and cracks, pills,
bad backs and bengay..

not to mention, the teeth
that sit in water glass smiling away,
all night.
on the table bedside.
that my friend, is just not right.

you are counting down the days, the hours...
watching.....home and away.

til one day,
you make the mortal coil's end...
and your shift is done and dusted.
bucket kicked,
daisies planted,
dirt kissed....
                  .....recalled.

all that.... and ba-jillion more
memories looking for time
on the elephant's mammoth mind - memory  dancefloor.

Innocent eyes staring back at me and my guilty filthy soul.

So mucked up and even deeper a grit I feel, for tainting such a starfull sky beyond which all trains traverse.

Leave me behind,
In the dirt I prefer.

So that I may sow my seeds for yet another blackened blend of months and grow them into years...

All the same.

All in a row.

You see Rodney was a shy person  where everybody wants to play with him and this made his parents happy thinking Rodney has friends, you see Rodney was sharing his toys he got for his birthday with them and they gave away the item their family were giving him for
Birthdays and Christmas and
Then Rodney thought I have friends mate I Have friends
And then one guy said this shy dude is not like us and the next day he stole his lunch money and when Rodney stared at him
Thinking why aren't you nice like me but Jr. Didn't say that though and then he ignored his signals and went away to tell everyone to tease him but not in the normal run of the mill family way no, the way we will tease him is we will make him feel like he one of us and this will make his father jitter and cause a little situation between him and his father mainly being about protection and Rodney was thinking why has dad changed his way of acting I am making friends at school
They all hated what that big dude did to me but Rodney's dad said don't be a fool Rodney
Don't be a god forsaken fool
They are taking advantage of your shyness and Rodney thought his mates would like him better if he teased his father and hoping his father is wrong about his worries about the other young people but
As Rodney went to school he met Jacob who was really weird because he was getting to know him but the way he clutched his teeth saying be cool be cool but then when the group walked past and teased Rodney and Jacob urged them on saying yeah dudes and then he said to Rodney be cool
I realise those young dudes are big and tough but in this day and age we can't fight them off
But Jacob only said that to Rodney because Jacob wanted those teasing bullies to like him
And Rodney was just a bad smell who should ******* but Jacob said he was cool and made Rodney think he was cool
And then Jacob said be cool and went off to play with the bullies ya know teasing all the geeks and nerds and the autistic people who love to fight
Each other and Rodney went to the library to read and study for his test and he saw Jacob but he looked tough as if he didn't want to give Rodney the time of day and this made Rodney scared of Jacob but there was a soft spot just in case Jacob said be cool, you see Rodney was wondering why Jacob said be cool and the teachers who seem to Rodney's eyes were favouring the bullies and this made Rodney appear to be too shy to express himself and this started a long line of teasing for Rodney and unknown to Rodney the teasing was organised by Jacob because Jacob was jealous because he never went to Rodney's birthday parties and the kids were reaching into Rodney's back pocket to get his wallet and they put drawing pins on his chair and one guy named Peter stuck a drawing pin in his *** because you see Rodney only really opened up to certain people and also Peter Stoke the poster from his TV guide wrecking the entire book and Jacob said I don't want to go to Rodney 's house anyway and Rodney was very scared and started to jitter and his smart manly sticking up for himself thing was turning to voices saying your not a man
You are too Woosey to be a man and Rodney hated this
Because he played sports and he listened to cool music and he teased his parents what more do you want me to do
And Jacob said yeah In a real
Smart *** kind of a way and Rodney started to become scared of people and the only way to beat this scared feeling
He had to try and be like Jacob
Because Rodney was unaware
That Jacob was organising that these bullies just teased Rodney and some dudes said
You are just getting teased Rodney you see you are not getting mucked with you are not a cool kid you are not as cool as your brother and you are not famous because we are teasing you differently to the others Woosey and you are not like Jacob either ok
So, Rodney
Get teased mate
And this made Rodney's father really worried because he really loved Rodney but he was surprised Rodney was acting like such a fool and Jacob
Was sitting in his lounge room watching TV saying I feel really good about myself because I told everyone to tease Rodney and they did and then Jacob said to Rodney
I am a real family person Rodney and you are a hooligan
But really Rodney was getting tired of Jacob and the other kids teasing him at school
But Jacob didn't care and said
Mr shy person Rodney I am not your daddy I am not your cotton picking daddy so don't try and come to me for protection because I will do it again
Just do your homework
Play your computer game and
Don't **** with us ok and Rodney was very upset and took some of his raiders socks and ******* a boy who looked like Jacob  and said you will suffer forever and Jacob and
One school mate laughed at Rodney and Rodney saw that and Jacob tried to cover it up
By trying to pretend like he ****** cares and then this guy who nicked his lunch money said don't be shy mate just go out and be like us be like us be like us and Rodney said don't say mate his name is Rodney
You see Rodney isn't a fucken man and then Rodney's father was starting to give up on helping his son and Rodney wanted to get on with his life
But he became scared that those bullies are going to force a slowdown and Jacobs voice was planted in his head to tease him

we ran.
at exceedingly high speeds,
away from our troubles,
far from our plans,
hand in hand,
we ran.

towards the sunset.
received a call
from the light remaining,
it gladly welcomed us home.
so we ran.

up all the stairs,
mucked rails
beneath our hands,
opened every door,
and so we ran.

we reached the top,
sprint to the edge.
looked to the sky,
and the sun was turned off.
and the stars said hello,
as our eyes
swallowed them whole.

this beautiful sight,
that visits every night,
our favorite show,
that'll guide our walk home.