briz
Engineering background. Life-long writer of mainly comic-verse, animal/nature / subjects and political. Look for 'Punchline poetry' / This is easy and fun. Take a familiar phrase, tale or joke etc. & simply wrap / it up , in a rhyme. It's a good way to introduce poetry to kids, making it more interesting and putting a smile on a few faces. Briz :)
Yo,Mr Putin
(from da ganja-boys)
Yo, Mr Putin, I'm sending you a present.
It's just a bunch o'herbs, to smoke;
they'll make yer less unpleasant.
Smoke 'em in de evening,
to really chill yo brain.
They'll blow away the nasty thoughts,
you have about Ukraine.
I'm sure you're gonna like 'em,
it's the Rasta, in yo blood;
we may be cousins, way back.
You should join us, in the 'hood!
You can't deny it Vladimir,
there's really no disputin';
your ancestors are same as mine
-we've all heard of Ras-Putin.
Briz 8/4/14
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 5:04 AM UTC
Insanity
Being mad is not so bad
if you don't know you are.
It's going there, that brings despair
and knowing that you are.
Briz 23/1013
Mar 13, 2014
Mar 13, 2014 at 5:58 AM UTC
Insanity
Being mad is not so bad
if you don't know you are.
It's going there, that brings despair
and knowing that you are.
Briz 23/1013
Mar 13, 2014
Mar 13, 2014 at 5:57 AM UTC
A queer world
My local pub won't do posh grub,
but sells beer from the wood.
You can't get wine nor cocktails
but the ales are all real good.
There's always sport, on the tv,
the wooden floors are bare;
so when two 'pretty boys' minced in,
they caused us all to stare.
Both had high-lights in their hair
and make-up, on their faces.
They ordered half a lager each
& two straight ***** chasers.
A quick look round however
and they soon made up their mind:
our rough&ready; local
didn't cater for their kind.
But, as they quickly minced away
and off, through the pub door;
up spoke the bar-room know-all,
like many times before.
“An article I read, last week,
said ten percent are gay.
Not all of 'em dress-up like that
nor try to walk that way.”
Someone said,”Shut up, you fool.”
while we just kept on drinkin'
but what he'd said, stuck in our head
and we began a-thinkin'
My mate says, “Watch the barman, Bob,
he wears a lot of pink
& holds his little-finger out,
each time he has a drink.”
They reckon Bill, who works away
and only comes in Sundays.
Goes in the cubicle to ****
when wearing his wife's ******
I know it's not conclusive
but I thought it pretty queer,
when Tommy took his wife out twice,
to see that Mama Mia.
Then there's Big Jack Smedley,
though he's muscular and manly;
he has his body waxed, each month,
by that hairdresser – Stanley.
The more we talked about it,
as we downed our beer & stout;
the more we realised,
that not everyone's come out.
We now accept that being camp,
is not the only way
and reckon that there's happen more
than fifty shades of gay!
Briz 14/6/13
Mar 9, 2014
Mar 9, 2014 at 3:42 AM UTC
Mr. Putin's opportunity
Please Mr Putin,
don't put the boot in;
hold back your forces,
from bombing & shootin'.
We know Russia's powerful,
fearless and strong.
We're expecting violence,
now prove us all wrong.
You've shown us your muscles,
now show us your mind.
Show us your heart man
then you may find;
People will listen
and show you respect.
Not just the hate
and the fear you expect.
Now is the chance
to Russia's great.
The hour is yours.
Don't leave it too late!
Briz 5/3/14
Mar 6, 2014
Mar 6, 2014 at 9:34 AM UTC
Last wish
The old guy lay in hospital, his family round the bed;
listening to his dieing wish
& this is what he said.
“I've always been a farmhand & mucked out barn & stable.
I've done my bit, at shiftin' ****
to put food on the table.
You need to know, before I go, don't let me be cremated.
It's something I've thought long about
– a thought I've always hated.
Bury me by the cowshed, among the old bluebells.
There, let me lay, 'til judgement day,
amid the farmyard smells.
Yes, bury me under the dung-heap,
although it seems absurd.
Far better than cremation
-I wish to be inturd!”
Briz 6/6/13
Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014 at 9:43 AM UTC
From Animal magic/tragic
The old woman from the woods
The sadness in her eyes,
really came as no surprise,
as I stared at her, intensely, through the glass.
As countless have before,
she must find it such a bore.
Small wonder that she turned & showed her ***
Does she stare back at mankind
& think, “What is it they find,
that draws them all to come & look at me?”
Does she think,”If we're so clever,
why does it never, ever
occur to us that she'd be better free?”
Briz 30/9/13
Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014 at 5:39 AM UTC
Don't **** the Genie
Peg-leg Pete, the pirate, in the good old days of old;
found a sealed amphora, whilst searching for some gold.
The label bore a warning & a faded, scary skull
but Peg-leg Pete was curious & gave the **** a pull.
The bottle appeared empty, so he gave it quite a shake.
A rumbling, grumbling let him know – a genie was awake!
“You didn't ought to do that, you one-legged, one-eyed beast;
to someone who's been fast asleep, a hundred years, at least!”
The genie was so angry, like a bear, with a sore head.
“You'll only get one wish for that, so make it count.” he said.
“Only one!” poor Pete complained. “but I've just set you free.
I've got the very task though, that you can do for me.”
“Me owd peg-leg has woodworm & me glass-eye's on the blink;
me 'ooks gone rusty & me trusty ship's about to sink.
If you can make me whole again, one wish will be enough.
So, come on grumpy genie, shake a leg & do your stuff!”
“Make sure you word your wish exact, for there's no going back.”
The genie smirked, then got to work & everything went black.
When Pete came round, he quickly found his hook & peg-leg there
& underneath it's tatty patch, his glass-eye's icy stare.
“What trick is this, you scurvy dog, you've gone back on your word?”
“I think not Pete, just look around & see what has occurred.
Your ship is now a merchant & that warehouse on the dock.
It's yours, for import/export work – for honest trade old ****
Pete
“I don't get this, I'm still stood here,
like Ahab, off the whaler.”
Genie, smirking
“You asked me, quite specifically
to make you a whole-saler!”
Briz 5/11/13
Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014 at 3:35 AM UTC
Crowning Glory
“ Oh Liz, old dear, you do look queer,
what causes such a frown?”
“The kids Phil, they're all bickering.
They want to share The Crown.”
“Charles rang me, this morning.
He was ages on the 'phone.
He said we should retire,
so that he can take the throne.
Then Andrew rang & so did Anne,
complaining, it's not fair.
They reckon, in this day & age
that all of them should share.
Even Edward had a moan.
I'm sick of all their quibbling.
He feels that he's been frozen out,
as he's the youngest sibling.
So cancel all appointments,
tell them to go away.
Say Her majesty has had
a really bad heir day.
Briz :) 5/2/14
Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014 at 3:31 AM UTC
Colored people!
On a recent trip, to Swaziland,
a local man said, “I don't understand.
You go green with envy, blue with cold;
cowards are yella, or so I'm told.
You're also blue, when feeling sad;
you blush, bright red, it drives me mad,
when you say I'm colored, just look, I say;
I'm monochrome, all night and day!”
Briz 4/6/13
Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014 at 3:29 AM UTC