"mija" poems
¡curandero!
¡sobandero!
¡hermano!
¡brujo!
i feel my stomach churn
when i mention home!
i cannot sleep at night!
¡curandero!
please fix me!
¡ay dios mío!
¡niña tu tienes mal aire!
you are a sick child!
too young to carry
so many ghosts!
you must follow my instructions clearly.
¡sobate con un huevo!
rub a cold raw egg all over your body!
make sure you rub the cold surface on your forehead!
it cleanses your mind!
then rub it down your back
to fix that spine!
it will straighten you up!
¡compra una vela blanca!
make sure to light your white candle
at six in the morning and six in the evening.
these are the times when
the sun caresses it’s lips to the horizon.
a beginning and end so mystical
that even ghosts pause to witness the view.
these are the moments where you must
ignite them away.
you must also pray
my child.
pray to whatever divine force
you believe in.
but curandero the only divine force i know
is myself.
how can i heal if i alone am the destroyer?
mija,
there exists no such thing.
you alone are you.
to heal you must destroy.
to destroy you must heal.
escúchame,
you are divine.
the ghosts you keep are not friends.
scare them away.
show them your power.
come see me again,
but when you return,
you will be new.
with the ways of el curandero
you will thrive in
your own cosmos.
Dec 19, 2017
Dec 19, 2017 at 1:45 PM UTC
When I was younger I told my mother
"Yo quiero ser como tu cuando crezca"
She kneeled down and said
"No"
I remembeer when I was younger
I looked up to my mother and I dreamed,
of the day I would grow up and be just like her.
She would always say "No"
Hasta que un día, me canse y le grite
"Cuando crezca voy a ser igualita a ti!"
She kneeled down and said
"Tu vas a ser mucho mejor que yo!"
I remember the first time I talked to my mom in english
"A mi me hablas en español!"
The first time I asked if I could go to a sleepover,
"Que no tienes casa o que?"
The first time I asked her permission to go on a fieldtrip
"Entonces para que te mando a la escuela?"
And the first time,
I told her I wanted to go to college,
"Pues a ver como le hacemos pero esta bien"
I remember her eyes, slightly dissapointed
Not at me, but at herself.
She wanted to give her daughter, only the best!
She wanted me to have the chances she never got
She wanted me to be better than her.
I don't remember:
A day that she didn't work
A day she didn't cook
A day she didn't say
"Echale ganas mija"
I do remember:
When she dropped me off at college,
She smiled and said,
"Eres como yo!"
"Eres como yo!"
Trabajadora,
Luchona,
No te rindes,
Humilde,
Sensilla,
Generosa,
Amorosa,
y Valiosa! "
Aug 7, 2020
Aug 7, 2020 at 10:19 AM UTC
I'm a Champ
He is a Chump
His *** you need to dump
So load up on your pump
Go out and shake your ****
Um Ya need to feel this playas swaggle
As I diggle in your daggle
Fiddle ya then stab ya
*** on...slide up and down my pole
Lick it
Slurp it watch me as I grow
Hmm señoritas let me rub your chi chas
You can be me Mija
Every time I see ya
Blow ya ***** up with my D bomb
Shrapnel from my nut
ya need to stay yo *** calm
Hmm that's how I dews it
Confuse it then lose it
Go ahead and choose it
I promise to abuse it
Um yous Filthy and so *****
*** so fucken pretty
Wake you up early to get ya ***** swirly
I will be your ecstasy
Go ahead and swallow me
***** so sprung
Why ya always following me?
Huh, My **** will show you magic
Makes your ***** so spastic
Have you fiending for my ****
Too bad you can't have it..
Huh, I aim to tease
***** begging me please
Drop down on them knees
Give this Scorpio a squeeze
Um I'm *******
this game I'm back to running
Who woulda thought
M.A.N would come back more stunning
Hmm thats just my stinger
Born to be a bringer
My presence seems to linger
I'm in your ***** with my finger
lol that's just my stamp
I feel I got you damp
A King wears a crown
So does this Cali Champ!! Ugh..
Feb 19, 2014
Feb 19, 2014 at 5:57 PM UTC
8yrs young
lo0000nnnnnnnnggggggggg
thick shiny blue black hair
Air Force Papa wanted a Wash N Wear
He wanted mija* with Dorthy Hamill hair
So I was ordered to March down the street
to Emilias Holy Carport
Emilia La Bautista Mexicana*
She knew no english but she knew Jesus
She'd cut your hair and save your soul
That day i requested un "Dori Hamel" Cut
She smiled and charismaticly said Amen! Te vas a ver muy bonita*
Her holy * tijeras snipped
my hair glided to the cement floor like feathers off angels wings
She made me look right
she made me look left
and when i looked up...
I HAD A MULLET
my tears came down
because of my Dukes of Hazzard crown
and I marched home to Dixie
Feb 4, 2011
Feb 4, 2011 at 7:32 PM UTC
Mija, if I could
I would reverse physics
eliminate the gravity wells that pull
you down.
That leave you starving weeping bleeding
hurting,
crushing you within themselves,
beyond the event horizons
the tragedies in your life have left.
But I am not that strong.
I cannot alter basic
rules
laws
components
of reality.
I cannot save you from the monsters in your head.
I cannot guarantee that you will always be safe.
I cannot say I will always understand.
But I am strong enough
to hold on to you,
beyond the event horizons,
until my fingers
are stretched by warped Time,
and I no longer exist.
But I will fight the monsters in your head,
until I no longer breathe.
But I can guarantee you will always feel safe.
But I can say that I will always listen, and try to understand the
nightmaresandtearsandhurtanddisintegrationofyourchildhood
Because, Mija, I know
that there exists light
beyond the dark break
of your event horizons.
Apr 21, 2017
Apr 21, 2017 at 12:42 PM UTC
She drinks every night until the last drop hits her tongue
this is where she leaves out that door
As I run towards her I trip and fall scraping my knee on the wooden floor
She runs after me picking me up and carrying me to her room placing me on the bed quickly running after the rubbing alcohol and the band aids with the pretty pink princesses
I hold my knees together not wanting to be touched
she shouts
"suelta" (Let go) and pulls my arms apart,
her hands are as soft as cotton
"Esto no va doler" (This won't hurt)
I cry from the top of my lungs
she lied
It hurts
She unwraps the pink princess then wipes the tears running down my cheeks
She tells me
"Mirame" (look at me)
I can hardly see her pass the water gushing from my eyes
She says "Vas a estar bien mija"
(You're going to be okay my daughter)
Her eyes are swollen
burning red
Her complexion is pale
she has not slept
Her hands placed over my legs are as cold as
ice
She's wearing the same clothes from yesterday evening
She wraps her arms around my waist
Slowly leaning over
She says,
"Te Amo"
I love you
I can smell the red wine
Mar 10, 2016
Mar 10, 2016 at 8:24 AM UTC
Your people have been here
for one thousand years and more,
longer even
than this country here.
Much, much longer.
Yet they'd tell you to leave
if only they knew
who you are,
what you are.
But they don't,
and you hardly don't.
Your Spanish is broken,
self-taught because your dad wouldn't,
not even your grandma would.
It's practiced in retail
selling credit cards
to people who can't afford them,
and not at home with family.
Your recipes are a mix
learned from your mom
and that grandma,
to your step family,
and even the ever present internet.
Your name?
It looks French, people say,
even though it doesn't at all
to anyone with even a passing knowledge
of that language or this name.
It's pure Mexican,
so pure not even a lot of friends know it
and are amazed to hear
that you're not really white.
There's others with it though,
some looking far less French than you.
You've never had a quince.
You never set up an ofrenda.
You never dealt with la chancla.
You got the hugs and kisses
and mijas and sweet things ending in -ita,
and you always had the food
and more of it
because you're too thin, mija.
You have so little though.
So little that when you look
at yourself
in the mirror
you see a ******
Toss away that guilt though.
Get back what you can and more.
Don't be like your father
ashamed of what Spanish you know.
You're a Mexican too,
you just have to practice more.
Dec 13, 2017
Dec 13, 2017 at 3:05 PM UTC
I need to know, please your killing me slow
You don't even know, I need you
You make me content,
My intent is to protect my lady,
Blessed from the heavens, he gave me
Understand my words are genuine
Very sanguine, I speak to the moon
My angel at noon, harmonys elegant tune
My ace, my twin, my keen queen
Where have you gone, where did I go wrong
Stay strong, have faith it won't be late
God's fate, no one manipulates,
What's destined to be, should definitely be
Whoever opposes, and intersects
They shall meet their end, making amends
With gifts placed in God's hands
They don't understand, nor comprehend
Your not glorious in making decisions
Back to my one and only, he shown me
We can make it out this stormy weather
Let's spread our wings and fly together
I'm ready whenever, wherever you are
We can go far, close by a shooting star
Make our wish come true boo
Don't allow these demons, drip semon
In your holy temple, remember it's not forever
They have no heart, it's truly dark
Refuse they're manipulation, stay true
Keep that beautiful precious corazon alive
Don't let some punk idiots toy with it
Estoy contigo hasta el fin, I'm here to win
I know we all sin, but I submit to my Lord
Live in his word, not according to the world
Please mija te quiero, te deseo, triste no te veo
Para siempre te espero, hopefully ya mero
Nos vemos, if not in heaven we'll meet again
Where none of us will feel any pain
Keep your head up mija, porfavor regresa
Te tengo una sorpresa, no te pongas triste
Acuerdate que estoy contigo, los angeles
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015 at 4:53 AM UTC
On the first day I sat
I stared at my hands
I silently prayed
Please...get better.
After a week
Things only got worse
Family began to show up
Some from far away.
I didn't know how to act
Seemed like a reunion
People greeted me saying
"Oh honey, it's been too long!"
I wanted to scream
I wanted them to understand
My dad was dying!
But, I knew he wouldn't like it.
My dad would say
"Show some respect mija"
He'd want me to say hi
He'd expect me to greet my elders.
So I did. Every time.
Every newly arrived relative
I faked a smile
Then sat and silently prayed
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018 at 9:48 PM UTC
Your smile
is all it takes
to make me smile.
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 12:18 PM UTC
my dear friend Mija,
your voice is quiet and sweet
and you see a lot of truth
inside and out
breaking out of your shell, you have a lot to tell
you're not done yet and I'm eager
to see the rest of your journey
you've inspired me to create and see things beautifully
truthfully, your mind is a goldmine
I've taken the time to pray you stay safe
and have been keeping myself in a really good place
I hope you are too and soon I'll find out
we'll talk about things we both care about
this summer I've done things the way that I choose
I wrote lot's of poems,
but this one's for you
<3
Aug 22, 2014
Aug 22, 2014 at 12:36 AM UTC
I walked into my daughters room the other day and she was painting her skin white
I looked at her and asked Mija que es esto
She looked back at me, "No daddy English!, I don't want them to realize I'm different , I just wanna be like everyone else"
I found out that the other kids at school would only talk to her if something was dropped, spilled, or broken because her skin was the same color as the janitors
So the kids that told my girl she was ugly cuz she's brown
She tried to be more like you but I'll live to make sure she never sinks that low
There is so much more color to her then you'll ever know
I witnessed blue rivers run down her face, but once she thought she was the problem I witnessed red rivers run down her arm
I heard her speech change from Como Estas usted to how are you sir
You changed and took my daughter from me
The moment I pulled her to a different School and away from you her true colors began to show
She smiles the brightest of white
Her caramel colored eyes always find the sweetest things in life
So to the kids that told my girl she's ugly cuz she's brown
I hope you live forever
So you can watch everything around you whither and die
You'll never be able to love because you'll always fear having to let go
So when your world turns as black as your hearts
The only way you'll find peace is when you find yourself gnawing at the end of a barrel... which you will
When you finally pull that trigger that has been pulled by your misdeeds
I hope you realize the color of the dirt your buried in
Then as your buying in hell right next to me... yes I'll be there to for all this hate I wished upon you
And we will burn till your skin is the same color as mine
To the people that called my daughter ugly cuz she's brown
She forgave you.
Aug 11, 2014
Aug 11, 2014 at 2:23 PM UTC
mija
siempre van a ver
las manchas
en el sol
la sombra negra
a tu brillante luz
no pierdas
la esperanza
para ser lo mejor
disfruta
cada momento
de este regalo, amor
de vueltas
en la lluvia
y bailes
con tu amor
sea la estrella
del centro
de cada persona
sin temor
mija
la vida es
solo una vez
por favor
disfrutalo
con toda tu purez
translation
girl
there will
always be
the dark spots
in the sun
the black shadow
to your brilliant light
don't lose
the hope
to do what's great
enjoy
each moment
of this gift, my love
spin around
in the rain
and dance
with your love
be the star
in the center
of every person
no fear
girl
life
is only once
please
enjoy it
with all your pureness
*
Mar 12, 2018
Mar 12, 2018 at 5:37 PM UTC
the lines on the highway
are the closest thing i have to home
there are miles between
the people who held my heart with gentle hands
and the people who snarled their teeth to tear it apart.
i think of my grandmother's tears
falling from her face to my arm
and my grandfather's last exhale of hope
telling me that i have to be good
*we are family mija
we are together to be good*
i imagine blade penetrating skin
to be covered in the blood when it exits
i imagine his beer falling from his hand
half empty
half full
soaking into the ground
all over the fence
jump the fence.
jump the fence.
can you jump the fence?
the sun removed his alcohol saturated blood
from the ground my grandfather called holy
sometimes we stand at the window
he signs a breath of remorse
a breath of regret
a breath that says everything
this is not my home.
where my heart was torn apart
by snarled teeth.
there are only lines on the highway.
Oct 6, 2016
Oct 6, 2016 at 12:38 PM UTC
"Tudo aquilo que a nossa
civilização rejeita, pisa e mija em cima,
serve para poesia."
Manuel de Barros, Matéria de poesia(1974)
Oct 19, 2020
Oct 19, 2020 at 11:09 AM UTC
second we have abuela from PR,
came all the way here just to see if it was true..
her eldest granddaughter was taking therapy.
terapía es para los locos mija
she’d say.
she gave me a cocotasso and said
that since i never ate enough as a kid,
i grew thin and it effected my thought process.
She diagnoses anyone like that though.
After a while,
she told me that i should be
the strong young lady that i never was
and go to church.
Jan 27, 2018
Jan 27, 2018 at 7:22 AM UTC
“Mija, you’re doing it wrong.”
“Mija, why can’t you just listen?”
“Por favor! Ay help me, dios mio.”
Words of disappointment from the most admired woman in my 5 year old eyes.
She’d yell and hit.
“Quita la mano! Move your hand!”
After a while I stopped crying and she’d stand there with the belt, now useless.
Just another accessory, I guess.
But when she would yell
That’s where the real tears threatened to spill.
Shameful flames on my cheeks.
These were not reflexive tears, mementos from the belt, but tears so hard to hold back, you’d think I’d never breathe the same again.
I would keep my long lived streak of disappointment.
I would not show her tears.
She became my first heartbreak.
The reason I stood silently reaching for the butterknife I believed I could end my life with.
At the ripe age of 5, I held this butterknife out with the dull point aimed at my stomach because I thought, “She screams so much and it’s because of me. Why would I want to burden her so much so that these violent words come bursting out?”
I was too cowardly to do a thing.
A decade later, I finally found the courage.
The courage to end my pain and suffering ..
with the kind words of a friend.
I sliced at my skin ..
With silky blades of grass.
I cried ..
Tears of joy as I watched the most beautiful sunrise I would’ve never experienced if I’d been courageous enough of make one very important decision at age 5.
My first heartbreak let to my eventual mental repair.
I thank my mom for the verbal bullets she shot at me.
I can no longer feel them,
For the scars are too deep.
But my cowardice saved me
Whether I admit it happily or not.
Jun 1, 2018
Jun 1, 2018 at 6:11 AM UTC