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"migraines" poems
Why go back when you can move forward? I face this question each day I breathe. It's not always so easy to answer. P T S D Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Keeps me looking back to my past behind my shoulder. P T S D Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Usually associated with our war heroes. The ones who can't leave the battlefield behind. I am not one of them. I am just an anxious a depressed in pain person. But I can't help that I have it. P T S D Post Traumatic Stress Disorder My battlefield was the school, the classrooms, the playground. The babysitter, the dark closets, the dark rooms, the basement. P T S D Post Traumatic Stress Disorder The anxiety the migraines the depression the fibro no sleep. All lead back to square one. The abuse by my peers by my teachers by my babysitter. P T S D Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Four easy letters Four simple words Lifetime in pain from those simple things from those not so simple things. P T S D Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
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Feb 4, 2015
Feb 4, 2015 at 12:12 AM UTC
PTSD
It’s a good day the lord granted. Everything seems so perfect. Weather is sweet. Sun’s shining. What could go wrong? …….Until….. I felt you coming. Like a hijacker through a rear view mirror. How I wish for a false alarm. Dear lord may this cup pass. A moment to accept the inevitable arrived. Oh my God! you seized me once again. You came like a thief at midnight. You hijacked my mind. You exposed me to wrath of migraines. Horrible 30 seconds in a 24hour day. It's like a small stain on a white garment. The cruelty of an epileptic seizure is inevitable. https://m.facebook.com/EpilepsyandCpfriends
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Aug 18, 2018
Aug 18, 2018 at 4:50 PM UTC
Epilepsy art thou cruel.
I fall faster than gravitational acceleration. Body jerks, vibrate like an earthquake. Body and mind go separate ways. Physical overcomes mental strength. Muscles gain strength. I can kick like an Ostrich. Dare not to touch me. Only I can reunite my body and mind. The reunion results in confusion. I get electrically shocked by migraines. The joy of the reunion is short-lived. I ask myself all the “Whys” in the world. Only God knows why. https://www.facebook.com/EpilepsyandCpfriends/
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Apr 5, 2018
Apr 5, 2018 at 6:00 AM UTC
During an Epileptic Seizure?
Another silent mid-Fall afternoon Icy raindrops slash into my neck The forecast calls for falling thumbtacks soon One thin umbrella folding Just 18 feet to the front step With champagne acquainted But forgot how to sip it I slurp it down, eager, 'til I sit soaked and dripping In time, fevered minds will lower ears made for hearing under waves of migraines as mighty storm fronts are nearing So I close down the bars and stumble home under awnings Just to search for your name among newspaper cuttings I've read the whole issue and I've frowned over headlines put it down Now, soaked or dry, I've got only time I've wasted so much of it losing my mind I'm blind in the rain that now sticks in my hide and they were right-- The forecast called for this squall to last all night Another lonely mid-Fall morning walk I follow gangs of specters in their steps And, in the crunching gravel, ghosts will talk November winds come howling The second I leave my front step The flavor's familiar It comes back every morning, when sunlight and sparrows ignore tornado warnings So the gales pick up strength and a small bird's bones are hollow The clouds lay oceans down setting many sips to swallow "So goodnight." I depart, but circle back in my wanderings I'll always wind up here--shaky, ash-faced and yawning I've read this before it's printed on poor paper in red ink I can't say why I'm still walking by Those other front doorsteps that I never try The thick thumbtack rain stopped but I can't stay dry the ghosts were right-- But if I find your name I might stop by.
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Oct 26, 2012
Oct 26, 2012 at 7:09 PM UTC
Forecast
Another silent mid-Fall afternoon Icy raindrops slash into my neck The forecast calls for falling thumbtacks soon One thin umbrella folding Just 18 feet to the front step With champagne acquainted But forgot how to sip it I slurp it down, eager, 'til I sit soaked and dripping In time, fevered minds will lower ears made for hearing under waves of migraines as mighty storm fronts are nearing So I close down the bars and stumble home under awnings Just to search for your name among newspaper cuttings I've read the whole issue and I've frowned over headlines put it down Now, soaked or dry, I've got only time I've wasted so much of it losing my mind I'm blind in the rain that now sticks in my hide and they were right-- The forecast called for this squall to last all night Another lonely mid-Fall morning walk I follow gangs of specters in their steps And, in the crunching gravel, ghosts will talk November winds come howling The second I leave my front step The flavor's familiar It comes back every morning, when sunlight and sparrows ignore tornado warnings So the gales pick up strength and a small bird's bones are hollow The clouds lay oceans down setting many sips to swallow "So goodnight." I depart, but circle back in my wanderings I'll always wind up here--shaky, ash-faced and yawning I've read this before it's printed on poor paper in red ink I can't say why I'm still walking by Those other front doorsteps that I never try The thick thumbtack rain stopped but I can't stay dry the ghosts were right-- But if I find your name I might stop by.
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46
by Desmond Makatu, Your visits are unpredictable. like a ghost, you're invisible. The attacks are inevitable. You come like a thief at night. You seize me day and night. "Epilepsy: an inevitable thief" Cruelty unrestricted to age. Victimising even toddlers. Unrestricted to ethnic groups. My life has time gaps. Gaps, like discrete graphs. Cracks depict thin line between life and death. Grace bridges the gaps and life prevails over death. Seizures still haunt me like a demonic wrath. "Epilepsy: an inevitable thief" Attacks are brief, bruises lasts forever. You offer questions only God can answer. Quest for answers is like probing for cure of Cancer. Death seemed to be the answer but God thought otherwise. First seizure shook like multiple earthquakes. Followed by a pool of darkness. woke up confused, crowd's ****** expressions said a thousand words. Migraines raided my head, exposed to enormous pressure. Officially baptised by wrath of seizures. "Epilepsy: an inevitable thief" You're a physical and psychological culprit. Like a Yoyo, you take me into a roller-coaster of emotions. Aftermaths of your theft are etched in my mind as if they’re on stones. Behind my “poker face” lies devastating pains than physicals seen by the  crowd. "Epilepsy: an inevitable thief" Watch video on YouTube. https://youtu.be/VggXerYLOHY
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Sep 16, 2017
Sep 16, 2017 at 8:02 PM UTC
Epilepsy: an inevitable thief
Whose women these are I think I know. His housefly’s dead on the vignette though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his women pick snowdrops. My little hornpipe is quite queer He stops without a farce or sneer Between the women with their frozen ‘la’s The commonest everyman of the yawl. He gives his harlot beldams his shaft To assure they are his mistresses. The only other soundtrack's the sweat Of easy win from downing flagons. The women are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promenades to keep, And migraines to go before I sleep, And migraines to go before I sleep.
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Nov 4, 2012
Nov 4, 2012 at 9:54 PM UTC
Stopping by Women Owned by the Everyman
Counting... Always... Counting. A cup of herbal tea, maybe with some sugar. If I feel up to it. Maybe some soup, grilled cheese. If I can stomach it. Dinner. Whatever mom makes. My only supervised meal. Tired, all day... Every day. Drowning in college papers. The curves I worked so hard to get back... Well. They're nearly gone. Protruding hip bones, Protruding collar bones, Boney fingers, Pale skin, Fantastic figure and pretty ribs, Cold toes and bad circulation. Heart murmurs... Shaky breathing... Migraines... Exhaustion... Confusion... Lethargy... Weight loss Shaking, Shaking, Shaking... Shivering? Gotta go make a cuppa, warm up a bit. But... what's left for me to be healthy for, anyway? I'll take a bath to warm up instead Probably.
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Nov 18, 2020
Nov 18, 2020 at 1:27 PM UTC
Hip Bones and Shaking Hands
I laughed in places Where Laughter was not asked for, In granite market towns Beneath refugee palm trees shivering. Running from giant hands That were covered in car wash fluids, The back of children's heads imprinted On their palms. I laughed during disciplinary procedures, Before authority figures With cornflakes in their red beards And my laughter crept over the edges of their flowerbeds And the grass laughed with me. I laughed at funerals, The sounds of horses beyond the churchyard And a messenger ran down the aisle panting and exhausted, He had a message for my laughter ' Quick you must come at once'. I laughed during marital feuds, Laughter rising out of its own body above broken guitars and dried up bonsai, Above all the things I said That contradict me now. I laughed during serious films, The tulips drooping on top of the T.V. The sun slumped against the door, Behind heavy curtains I mistook for pigs on hooks. I laughed over exercise books, Above algebra and history Behind impossible bra straps That appeared out of acne and ink flicked backs. I laughed at the swimming pool Hiding birthmarks like stains, Drowning above the water saying 'I am a fish I must get back in!'. I laughed in surgeries among migraines and told my mother that robots were taking over, in the same rooms where they removed my brothers' verucas And I saw the doctors small blade escape through the window. I laughed during friends confessions, In between the silences of repeated songs While pantomime dames walked past windows make-up running in black and yellow rain. I'm laughing while making coffee in a campervan, I'm laughing because its a monday morning, Because everyone else is busy, Because we have an oil lamp from a pound-shop Burning beneath the sound of rain on the roof, Because the radio's silent….. And because sausages are best done slowly.
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Jun 26, 2015
Jun 26, 2015 at 11:05 AM UTC
i have eaten sausages in many countries
I laughed in places Where Laughter was not asked for, In granite market towns Beneath refugee palm trees shivering. Running from giant hands That were covered in car wash fluids, The back of children's heads imprinted On their palms. I laughed during disciplinary procedures, Before authority figures With cornflakes in their red beards And my laughter crept over the edges of their flowerbeds And the grass laughed with me. I laughed at funerals, The sounds of horses beyond the churchyard And a messenger ran down the aisle panting and exhausted, He had a message for my laughter ' Quick you must come at once'. I laughed during marital feuds, Laughter rising out of its own body above broken guitars and dried up bonsai, Above all the things I said That contradict me now. I laughed during serious films, The tulips drooping on top of the T.V. The sun slumped against the door, Behind heavy curtains I mistook for pigs on hooks. I laughed over exercise books, Above algebra and history Behind impossible bra straps That appeared out of acne and ink flicked backs. I laughed at the swimming pool Hiding birthmarks like stains, Drowning above the water saying 'I am a fish I must get back in!'. I laughed in surgeries among migraines and told my mother that robots were taking over, in the same rooms where they removed my brothers' verucas And I saw the doctors small blade escape through the window. I laughed during friends confessions, In between the silences of repeated songs While pantomime dames walked past windows make-up running in black and yellow rain. I'm laughing while making coffee in a campervan, I'm laughing because its a monday morning, Because everyone else is busy, Because we have an oil lamp from a pound-shop Burning beneath the sound of rain on the roof, Because the radio's silent….. And because sausages are best done slowly.
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54
feeling sorry for myself again, surprise surprise, I think a lot they say don't it's bad for you, surprise surprise, I wonder still feeling sorry for myself again, like some crack-addled ***** frustration at every turn, as I see the corridors of my mind; a dead end every time, and maybe the migraines are a true sign of recent times pain for days, a complete sense of contempt seeing myself so low, I must mount my eyes high up in the trees, stitched into leaves to look down on everything so feeling sorry for myself again, surprise surprise, I think a lot they said don't it's bad for me, surprise surprise, I wonder still feeling sorry for myself again, like some lonesome lowlife I understand the kettle's whistle, tormented and brought to boiling point, tortured by the very talents that give it purpose am I a kettle or a joke to you? pain for days, a complete sense of contempt seeing myself so low, I must mount my eyes high up in the trees, stitched into leaves to look down on everything so
0
Mar 2, 2016
Mar 2, 2016 at 10:04 AM UTC
Self Commiseration
It feels like feet migraines. That's what I called them When I was little. When you put your feet into the ocean At 47 degrees. And your feet ache from the cold. But even when you run back, Avoiding the waves, It still hurts. "It's like a headache, but in my feet." That's how everything feels now. Every day. Even my heart, And my dragon eyes, And my loud tongue. Migraines.
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Dec 6, 2013
Dec 6, 2013 at 2:44 PM UTC
Feet Migraines
When I was 15, I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me all of this about constant lament in a Red painted Animal House of scapegoats that I’ve yet to see it’s         streets of beige it’s         fast food bad food no food spilled milk or beer it’s         the South no the East maybe West probably North it’s         in the air the water the meat there’s just too much heat to breathe or hold a job it’s         hourly wages and daily commutes of gypsy peddlers in a town I’ve never been to it’s         the cigarettes or nicotine my useless spleen filtering things I should never inhale or drink it’s         divorce rates leading to ***** flicks c-sections finding acquaintances on monitors after dark only able to generate laughter over years of tears it’s         women it’s         pain it’s         the migraines we get when we're waiting on the rain to paint the beige streets bronze it’s          rolling trees metal trucks frozen lakes lumber jacks and ice fishing it's          the anxiety of right wrong bad good all grey in the sunshine without you it’s          the words of times you said meaning more to me than it ever could to you it’s         the colossus of Wall St. overbearing my own suit and tie un-ironed or cared for but necessary     none the less it’s          CCTV the fight for power Government foreign travelers or terrorists Project Paper clip MK Ultra Plum Island persuasion propaganda Paul Wolfowitz it’s          who governs what you can afford when you sit tattered on a curb after earning another mans bread it’s         what has or has not been said 7 times or none that still lingers on the grass out front of home or house it’s         no matter how big you are you still answer a toy phone handed to you by a two year old it’s        the tears of Alexander when he realized there were no more worlds to conquer
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Oct 29, 2012
Oct 29, 2012 at 2:37 PM UTC
Biting My Nails All Day
When I was 15, I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me all of this about constant lament in a Red painted Animal House of scapegoats that I’ve yet to see it’s         streets of beige it’s         fast food bad food no food spilled milk or beer it’s         the South no the East maybe West probably North it’s         in the air the water the meat there’s just too much heat to breathe or hold a job it’s         hourly wages and daily commutes of gypsy peddlers in a town I’ve never been to it’s         the cigarettes or nicotine my useless spleen filtering things I should never inhale or drink it’s         divorce rates leading to ***** flicks c-sections finding acquaintances on monitors after dark only able to generate laughter over years of tears it’s         women it’s         pain it’s         the migraines we get when we're waiting on the rain to paint the beige streets bronze it’s          rolling trees metal trucks frozen lakes lumber jacks and ice fishing it's          the anxiety of right wrong bad good all grey in the sunshine without you it’s          the words of times you said meaning more to me than it ever could to you it’s         the colossus of Wall St. overbearing my own suit and tie un-ironed or cared for but necessary     none the less it’s          CCTV the fight for power Government foreign travelers or terrorists Project Paper clip MK Ultra Plum Island persuasion propaganda Paul Wolfowitz it’s          who governs what you can afford when you sit tattered on a curb after earning another mans bread it’s         what has or has not been said 7 times or none that still lingers on the grass out front of home or house it’s         no matter how big you are you still answer a toy phone handed to you by a two year old it’s        the tears of Alexander when he realized there were no more worlds to conquer
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42
There's a beast inside my head throwing his fists against my brain and with every breath I take in, out, I feel as if I'm riding upon the crest of a wave up, down, a terrible journey I never intended to take. But enveloped within your arms so tightly, your chin resting on my head oh so lightly, I find myself within a cocoon of safety, comfort. You leave far too soon, and I wish I could keep you here with me at all times. But even after you've gone I dream of you, and when I wake you're the first thought that flutters into my mind. And I am calmed.
0
Oct 15, 2014
Oct 15, 2014 at 3:40 AM UTC
Migraines
it's not even noon, but my thoughts are drenched with *** bound and gagged. you're dancing around the kitchen, clad only in a pair of lace ******* you paid too much for at Victoria's Secret liaisons by the seaside, sand sieving through your hair: all forms of metal-backed currency taste like ***** on your fingertips stuffed roughly in my mouth, call me a **** pretty please? promethazine slathered over watermelon sherbert and soaked in Sprite; put a lid on it and shake vigorously until well mixed. Xanax exacerbated migraines mean naptime for me, and I forgot to tell you the Gatorade is spiked with ***** (or maybe tequila; I've well and truly forgotten) and all of this is just another means of replacing you. you're wrapped in an ecru trench coat, cinched at the waist over concealed weaponry: unlicensed pistol and wet coral ***** constrained by a black leather holster and cobalt cotton. you kissed me with ******* in your nostrils and nosebleed on your lips; you killed me with contempt in your mouth and venom on your nails.
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Sep 2, 2014
Sep 2, 2014 at 5:18 PM UTC
kissin kate barlow
how do you tell someone you’re losing yourself again how do you tell the people who love you you can’t eat anymore how do you tell them you feel like you’re going to faint every minute of everyday and all you can do is lay in bed and when you do get out of bed the world goes black for a minute how do you explain the constant headache the constant pain in your head not just from the malnourishment but from the thoughts you can’t stop the ones you can’t ever slow down how do you explain that to them how do you say you’re so completely ******* exhausted of this that you don’t want any of this that you resent yourself for thinking this way but at the exact time you can’t let go of it with all the brittle strength inside of you you can’t get rid of this so you sit exhausted during the happiest time of the year just wishing that this time a year ago you weren’t like this life wasn’t this hard every waking second a year ago you could get out of bed you didn’t feel like throwing up every second because you’re migraine is eating away the tiny thing you call your body every inch of it a year go you could bring yourself to brush your teeth and take a shower it didn’t seem like an unbeatable task it seemed like life to be frank, you didn’t think twice of it a year ago how do you explain every time you wake up you miss life you miss living because it doesn’t feel like life right now when you fight with yourself to eat when nourishing your body seems like a tall feat life isn’t quite the same so your life now is dreaming of a life before all this before every part of your life didn’t seem like a task and a burden before you pushed everyone away and locked yourself alone how do you tell them all this because i hear it when i say it how crazy it sounds i see it in their eyes when i’m crying about having a sandwich because the thought of bread and calories makes my whole world collapse i understand how absurd i sound i do don’t worry so what do i do? go back to treatment and have to weigh myself and take my blood pressure to see if insurance thinks i’m sick enough to pay to help me get better do i talk to people about my feelings because that makes me feel even more crazy do i tell my therapist because i haven’t seen her in months because i was okay for a point of time or do i call my doctor so she can tell me that my nausea and migraines are just because i’m not eating enough and how i’m destroying myself how dangerous this is what do i do tell me because all that’s keeping me together the only thing that makes me hold on is a year ago when i wasn’t losing myself.
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Dec 25, 2020
Dec 25, 2020 at 5:43 PM UTC
losing myself
how do you tell someone you’re losing yourself again how do you tell the people who love you you can’t eat anymore how do you tell them you feel like you’re going to faint every minute of everyday and all you can do is lay in bed and when you do get out of bed the world goes black for a minute how do you explain the constant headache the constant pain in your head not just from the malnourishment but from the thoughts you can’t stop the ones you can’t ever slow down how do you explain that to them how do you say you’re so completely ******* exhausted of this that you don’t want any of this that you resent yourself for thinking this way but at the exact time you can’t let go of it with all the brittle strength inside of you you can’t get rid of this so you sit exhausted during the happiest time of the year just wishing that this time a year ago you weren’t like this life wasn’t this hard every waking second a year ago you could get out of bed you didn’t feel like throwing up every second because you’re migraine is eating away the tiny thing you call your body every inch of it a year go you could bring yourself to brush your teeth and take a shower it didn’t seem like an unbeatable task it seemed like life to be frank, you didn’t think twice of it a year ago how do you explain every time you wake up you miss life you miss living because it doesn’t feel like life right now when you fight with yourself to eat when nourishing your body seems like a tall feat life isn’t quite the same so your life now is dreaming of a life before all this before every part of your life didn’t seem like a task and a burden before you pushed everyone away and locked yourself alone how do you tell them all this because i hear it when i say it how crazy it sounds i see it in their eyes when i’m crying about having a sandwich because the thought of bread and calories makes my whole world collapse i understand how absurd i sound i do don’t worry so what do i do? go back to treatment and have to weigh myself and take my blood pressure to see if insurance thinks i’m sick enough to pay to help me get better do i talk to people about my feelings because that makes me feel even more crazy do i tell my therapist because i haven’t seen her in months because i was okay for a point of time or do i call my doctor so she can tell me that my nausea and migraines are just because i’m not eating enough and how i’m destroying myself how dangerous this is what do i do tell me because all that’s keeping me together the only thing that makes me hold on is a year ago when i wasn’t losing myself.
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76
you consume my deepest, darkest, sickest thoughts. makes me wish i was dead, an escape from my head. migraines from overthinking, memory loss from drinking, bleeding knuckles from, destroying walls. destructive behavior, because of a past lover, a cold hearted mess, one whom my attraction, is growing quite intense. her beauty is extraordinary, why am i so hung up on, someone who always hurt me, not by accident, on purpose, knocked me down so much, on the hard pavement. three years badly spent, chasing a twisted girl, who doesn't know, how to control, her mind or self, instead liking to, manipulate, someone, else.
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Sep 27, 2013
Sep 27, 2013 at 5:50 PM UTC
so hung up on you
Lately I've been getting really bad headaches and I can't seem to figure out why because this has never before been a problem. I try to go about my day and be happy, but the second i do, migraine. They're bad, too. My head literally feels like it's going to implode, leaving me to be a headless ghost falling to my knees and crumpling to the ground in a pathetic heap, never even knowing what happened. I don't know whats going on, but I feel like these headaches might just mean something. Maybe its too much stress or too much pressure. Maybe I just cant deal with the weight of the world for too long. Maybe thats the problem. I simply can't handle life. These migraines are warning signs that my breaking point is near and I need to just break myself away from society, for at least a couple moments just to take a breather and massage my temples and calm down and possibly even cry because crying really does help sometimes and tell myself that its going to be alright and that I can handle this and I can handle life. These migraines really will be the death of me. ~kns
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Apr 5, 2013
Apr 5, 2013 at 1:46 AM UTC
Migraines.
Tell me how, One person can divide into Three perfectly psychotic sentiments While still appearing to be whole Tell me how Multiplying your kindness only Creates a rift between myself and patience And ends with nights of contemplation followed by tumultuous Back-and-forths with imaginary numbers For I am no mathematician I cannot find a solution to every concrete problem I do not bother with equations or substitutes I only skim the symbol, rewrite questions and leave the answers hanging in the air Tell me why, Subtracting victims from my life Only added a murderous sentiment To every repeating decimal that couldn’t find its’ place Tell me why, The quadratic formula is emblazoned in my memory But everyone keeps throwing opposites at me So forgetting whether to add or to subtract becomes hazy And the square root gets suspended until next class, so the Four drops off the plane, two goes insane, and Letters lose their fictitious meanings For I am no mathematician Archimedes is finding the constant of my triangular coffin While Newton is rolling in his gravity Carl Gauss is busy laughing his *** off with fundamentals in his eyes and Descartes keeps whispering incoherent Latin, migraines sprinting towards me As if in a race So don’t ask me Whether or not you should divide by zero Or whether it requires sine, cosine, or a tangent My logic will not tell you anything you want to hear I am through trying to piece together this imaginary puzzle And I’ve had enough of playing this never-ending game Because I’ve been through two continents, and 4 different states And I still don’t know the meaning of my name. For I am no mathematician The only pie charts I am fond of, have to do with sugar and preheating an oven to 450 degrees And with every cubic centimeter I start thinking of cubes of cheddar cheese For I am no mathematician I can’t graph a simple line I don’t understand the dimensions of the polygon shown above And I’m tired of wasting precious time
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Oct 2, 2015
Oct 2, 2015 at 6:15 PM UTC
Mathematics (2010)
Tell me how, One person can divide into Three perfectly psychotic sentiments While still appearing to be whole Tell me how Multiplying your kindness only Creates a rift between myself and patience And ends with nights of contemplation followed by tumultuous Back-and-forths with imaginary numbers For I am no mathematician I cannot find a solution to every concrete problem I do not bother with equations or substitutes I only skim the symbol, rewrite questions and leave the answers hanging in the air Tell me why, Subtracting victims from my life Only added a murderous sentiment To every repeating decimal that couldn’t find its’ place Tell me why, The quadratic formula is emblazoned in my memory But everyone keeps throwing opposites at me So forgetting whether to add or to subtract becomes hazy And the square root gets suspended until next class, so the Four drops off the plane, two goes insane, and Letters lose their fictitious meanings For I am no mathematician Archimedes is finding the constant of my triangular coffin While Newton is rolling in his gravity Carl Gauss is busy laughing his *** off with fundamentals in his eyes and Descartes keeps whispering incoherent Latin, migraines sprinting towards me As if in a race So don’t ask me Whether or not you should divide by zero Or whether it requires sine, cosine, or a tangent My logic will not tell you anything you want to hear I am through trying to piece together this imaginary puzzle And I’ve had enough of playing this never-ending game Because I’ve been through two continents, and 4 different states And I still don’t know the meaning of my name. For I am no mathematician The only pie charts I am fond of, have to do with sugar and preheating an oven to 450 degrees And with every cubic centimeter I start thinking of cubes of cheddar cheese For I am no mathematician I can’t graph a simple line I don’t understand the dimensions of the polygon shown above And I’m tired of wasting precious time
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47
Lamentation; infelicity through neurotransmitters Passing fleetly; swift but disturbed Grids of brainwaves for the degraded Overhead LED view is negroided Chapter 1 Migraines; A klaxon that grains into migraine From there on out, strolling convulsion lane Deriving from deception; antibodies start to lead loosely Throe after throe I choose not to fuss Laceration in hemikrania is conversing with the rest of my body, Frequent as days turn nightly I host the severe megrimly Chapter 2 Vomiting; A horendous bile builds up in my throat Moaning like a ghoul; I banish the gloats Disgorging from nothing, Heaving and heaving the dry Although I force myself not, all the nosh turns into emit rye Vital fluid very crimson soon came From the cranium, I dislose, head pain Frequent as the waves harsh blows I host a ***** hose Chapter 3 Tumor; A neoplasm underneath I've found out Unvisible but there; my flesh will start swelling undoubt Below I feel like a mutant All putant and disformed Like globular liquids dripping from sewage waste As long as I can still haste Crescendo and surge won't ado Frequent as traffic builds a rush hour I host a cyst that is sour Chapter 4 Deaf; An absense of all frequencies I daze everso daily; Feeling like an earless statue; sound unaccompanied Missing the wind's howls that ululate, Clamors and bellows that spoliate I can't sight the same verbiage Without sonancy to inflicit, I see one big mirage Frequent as birth enfolds I host a soundless toll Chapter 5 Brain Cancer; A malignant fate told today Disease spreading like a machine, Programmed to enquire all it knows A gruesome and hateful dose; Withering casually away Grown apart of, I'm the prey As we hunt the beasts' An invisible naked eye is poaching Frequent as a house infested I host a cancerous clothing Chapter 6 Death; A termination soon to unfold I am as finished and ruined as story told Biological function ending Senescence through spending User maat I haven't seen all wanted Alas I am greatful for what has been daunted Frequent as a death anew I host a dissolution My evolution; through.
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Nov 24, 2010
Nov 24, 2010 at 7:09 AM UTC
Brain Cancer (For Chuck)
Lamentation; infelicity through neurotransmitters Passing fleetly; swift but disturbed Grids of brainwaves for the degraded Overhead LED view is negroided Chapter 1 Migraines; A klaxon that grains into migraine From there on out, strolling convulsion lane Deriving from deception; antibodies start to lead loosely Throe after throe I choose not to fuss Laceration in hemikrania is conversing with the rest of my body, Frequent as days turn nightly I host the severe megrimly Chapter 2 Vomiting; A horendous bile builds up in my throat Moaning like a ghoul; I banish the gloats Disgorging from nothing, Heaving and heaving the dry Although I force myself not, all the nosh turns into emit rye Vital fluid very crimson soon came From the cranium, I dislose, head pain Frequent as the waves harsh blows I host a ***** hose Chapter 3 Tumor; A neoplasm underneath I've found out Unvisible but there; my flesh will start swelling undoubt Below I feel like a mutant All putant and disformed Like globular liquids dripping from sewage waste As long as I can still haste Crescendo and surge won't ado Frequent as traffic builds a rush hour I host a cyst that is sour Chapter 4 Deaf; An absense of all frequencies I daze everso daily; Feeling like an earless statue; sound unaccompanied Missing the wind's howls that ululate, Clamors and bellows that spoliate I can't sight the same verbiage Without sonancy to inflicit, I see one big mirage Frequent as birth enfolds I host a soundless toll Chapter 5 Brain Cancer; A malignant fate told today Disease spreading like a machine, Programmed to enquire all it knows A gruesome and hateful dose; Withering casually away Grown apart of, I'm the prey As we hunt the beasts' An invisible naked eye is poaching Frequent as a house infested I host a cancerous clothing Chapter 6 Death; A termination soon to unfold I am as finished and ruined as story told Biological function ending Senescence through spending User maat I haven't seen all wanted Alas I am greatful for what has been daunted Frequent as a death anew I host a dissolution My evolution; through.
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62
it shocks me to think that i let you touch me the way that you did, your fingers dipped into my skin and an arm slung my neck. you left an imprint that will never leave. i have rubbed my skin pink and raw countless times but i am never truly clean. who am i more disgusted with? myself,      for letting this happen?           or you,                for still having the nerve to get so close- hot breath prickling the back of my neck, sparking skin, inferno eyes- and tell me our game is done? yes, the game i was never told we were playing... every tiny motion, every syllable, every touch… just a simple strategy to win. i was unknowingly an opponent that you sought to knock down. you never even let me know the rules. now you flinch at the touch you once so lovingly leaned into. (i use the word “lovingly” sarcastically, of course. you and i both know that, to you, there is no such thing as love. only winning or losing.) so, you’ve emerged a victor. what’s your prize? tears that leave me hollow on the inside? midnight migraines while i long for a love that will never come? does it fill you with satisfaction to watch the way i tremble when you come near? you keep the trophies of every body you’ve invaded along the shelf of your room. i’m sure you run your finger over the plastic lip and think about the way her breath hitched and eyes fluttered shut when you did the same to her. she tastes like golden-plated achievements, doesn’t she? but what you already have is not enough. you are constantly on the lookout for another medal, another souvenir from her heart. you will make her laugh, deep from her stomach that causes her head to snap back. her chest will feel heavy when she looks at you. (but it is not love.) you will give her those half-lidded gazes and whisper in her ear and trace patterns into her side. (but it is not love.) you will get close- far too close. (but it is not love.) then you will sever that thin thread between you both.      dip it in gasoline.           set it on fire.                add fuel to the flames with a few venomous words. but you are not to blame. it is never your fault, is it? misunderstood, that’s what you are. acrylic fingertips and regurgitated phrases.
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Dec 8, 2016
Dec 8, 2016 at 9:25 PM UTC
my woman of judea
it shocks me to think that i let you touch me the way that you did, your fingers dipped into my skin and an arm slung my neck. you left an imprint that will never leave. i have rubbed my skin pink and raw countless times but i am never truly clean. who am i more disgusted with? myself,      for letting this happen?           or you,                for still having the nerve to get so close- hot breath prickling the back of my neck, sparking skin, inferno eyes- and tell me our game is done? yes, the game i was never told we were playing... every tiny motion, every syllable, every touch… just a simple strategy to win. i was unknowingly an opponent that you sought to knock down. you never even let me know the rules. now you flinch at the touch you once so lovingly leaned into. (i use the word “lovingly” sarcastically, of course. you and i both know that, to you, there is no such thing as love. only winning or losing.) so, you’ve emerged a victor. what’s your prize? tears that leave me hollow on the inside? midnight migraines while i long for a love that will never come? does it fill you with satisfaction to watch the way i tremble when you come near? you keep the trophies of every body you’ve invaded along the shelf of your room. i’m sure you run your finger over the plastic lip and think about the way her breath hitched and eyes fluttered shut when you did the same to her. she tastes like golden-plated achievements, doesn’t she? but what you already have is not enough. you are constantly on the lookout for another medal, another souvenir from her heart. you will make her laugh, deep from her stomach that causes her head to snap back. her chest will feel heavy when she looks at you. (but it is not love.) you will give her those half-lidded gazes and whisper in her ear and trace patterns into her side. (but it is not love.) you will get close- far too close. (but it is not love.) then you will sever that thin thread between you both.      dip it in gasoline.           set it on fire.                add fuel to the flames with a few venomous words. but you are not to blame. it is never your fault, is it? misunderstood, that’s what you are. acrylic fingertips and regurgitated phrases.
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34
I tasted every bitter lie As you shoved them down my throat Now I'm full of poison-soaked phrases Badly in need of an antidote Lost promises rest in my abdomen Next to the deception I was fed I need a cure for untrue words Before this illness renders me dead Fallacies come crawling back up Venom rising in my windpipe Sick to my stomach with acceptance Your falsehoods have become overripe I can't contain the toxic deceit It's overflowing from my gut Excuses pour out from my mouth Alibis Ive managed to rebut The ***** burns my weary tongue Sour as it leaves my lips Betrayal has me feeling queasy Unwell from hearing your rehearsed scripts My stomach empties it's contents Spewing intricate facades Until it is rid of all the Charades, illusions, and frauds Infected with dishonesty My body is rocked by unease I've taken a turn for the worse Consumed by this relentless disease This virus I have come down with Takes it's toll on my heart and mind I grow more fatigued each day But relief I have yet to find Chills, shakes, soreness, and migraines Plague my organs, bones, and skin My muscles are endlessly cramping I loathe the fever I'm burning in I do not know why I feast on your contaminated reality I'm sure if I continue to I will soon be a fatality My health is deteriorating Still i dine on fantasies unreal I hope for a miracle pill but My flesh may not be able to heal I fear I'll be plagued as long as I Swallow your lies, deranged and uncouth The cure I have been longing for is a simple medicine called Truth
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Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 5:33 AM UTC
Feast Of Lies
I tasted every bitter lie As you shoved them down my throat Now I'm full of poison-soaked phrases Badly in need of an antidote Lost promises rest in my abdomen Next to the deception I was fed I need a cure for untrue words Before this illness renders me dead Fallacies come crawling back up Venom rising in my windpipe Sick to my stomach with acceptance Your falsehoods have become overripe I can't contain the toxic deceit It's overflowing from my gut Excuses pour out from my mouth Alibis Ive managed to rebut The ***** burns my weary tongue Sour as it leaves my lips Betrayal has me feeling queasy Unwell from hearing your rehearsed scripts My stomach empties it's contents Spewing intricate facades Until it is rid of all the Charades, illusions, and frauds Infected with dishonesty My body is rocked by unease I've taken a turn for the worse Consumed by this relentless disease This virus I have come down with Takes it's toll on my heart and mind I grow more fatigued each day But relief I have yet to find Chills, shakes, soreness, and migraines Plague my organs, bones, and skin My muscles are endlessly cramping I loathe the fever I'm burning in I do not know why I feast on your contaminated reality I'm sure if I continue to I will soon be a fatality My health is deteriorating Still i dine on fantasies unreal I hope for a miracle pill but My flesh may not be able to heal I fear I'll be plagued as long as I Swallow your lies, deranged and uncouth The cure I have been longing for is a simple medicine called Truth
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48
I'm not sure what they said what is done really messes with my head Communicating with butterflies always ends with them in your stomach then we age and wonder why we're aneamic just say yes or no there is no pain in rejecting a question there is only pain in a lack of communication as messing with the senses creates an awful sensation so just stop ******* around and say what you mean Anxiety, depression, migraines, mysteria they never make much sense now i know this isn't in your criteria but just be honest be blunt it will end all pain I may be ambitious you may be delicious but miscommunication is disatrious
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May 7, 2016
May 7, 2016 at 3:06 AM UTC
Miscommunication
O indiginous tuber to Peru, Now in nations' daily stews, From the Polar South to Timbuktu, Ranked with rice, wheat and maize, Oh staple potatoe You grace our table. We plant seed spuds, Red, yellow or brown, Harvest the new ones, The remainder mound To thrive in leisure, As buried treasure. Heel the spud ***** Unearth your trove, A gatherer's surprise To woo true love. We slice, dice and mash, Roast, deep-fry and bake. It's not an egg, It'll never break.      ***Medium-rare, please.      And make mine a baked.      Oh, and don't forget the butter,      Oh, and sour-cream, just in case.”*** It hasn't got *** appeal, What you see is true, But make no mistake, I swear by what's holy in taste, It only has eyes for you. Pharmaceutically, It soothes, Burns, itches, puffy eyes, Migraines and headaches. Make a stamp, Make silver shine, Clean your windows with its brine. And potatoe muffins are simply divine. When blight strikes, When crops don't thrive, Many starve, Many have died. So, I raise this toast To the lofty Tuber, And I dedicate this Ode, To the one, The only: ***Mr. Potatoe, This bud's for you.***
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Jan 7, 2017
Jan 7, 2017 at 6:04 PM UTC
Potatode
Dear Migraines, tell me will anyone see the blood stains this time? "from one to ten rate your pain." "I'm just fine."     Dear Migraines, will anyone not believe me this time? The message didn't scare me it was the context. Did you send that to all of your contacts? You can lie all you want, All I want is the facts. If you're angry stay away from the ax no matter what form It's in.     Dear Migraines in his head, I know it's just all in his head. Excuses, Excuses "It was an accident."      Dear Migraines, are you fluent in his thoughts?      Dear Suicidal thoughts, were you frequent? were you constant? "it was an accident"     A note to his parents, why were you absent? Children need you even after they're an infant. And there is never a time to make them your servant.   Dear Pills, was it really that urgent? Why didn't you stay in the bottle?    Dear Bottle, did your contents stop the pounding in his thick skull? I have to chuckle but it's not funny, It makes my eyes wet and my nose runny. And I don't know why. I've slowly forgotten what it's like not to cry. have you?    Dear Migraines, more like figment of his imagination darkening the pigment of his skin where the scars are in creation.     Dear Migraines, you are not obligated to be an obligation.      Dear Officer is this against his probation?      Dear God, should I pray for his Salvation? Dear Suicidal thoughts, may you die of starvation. I hope no one feeds you He doesn't need you!        Dear complication, why are you so complicated? I can't imagine he sat there and contemplated death.         Dear Death, don't let him take his last breath, Please.                   © copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
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Aug 6, 2014
Aug 6, 2014 at 4:57 PM UTC
Migraines
Dear Migraines, tell me will anyone see the blood stains this time? "from one to ten rate your pain." "I'm just fine."     Dear Migraines, will anyone not believe me this time? The message didn't scare me it was the context. Did you send that to all of your contacts? You can lie all you want, All I want is the facts. If you're angry stay away from the ax no matter what form It's in.     Dear Migraines in his head, I know it's just all in his head. Excuses, Excuses "It was an accident."      Dear Migraines, are you fluent in his thoughts?      Dear Suicidal thoughts, were you frequent? were you constant? "it was an accident"     A note to his parents, why were you absent? Children need you even after they're an infant. And there is never a time to make them your servant.   Dear Pills, was it really that urgent? Why didn't you stay in the bottle?    Dear Bottle, did your contents stop the pounding in his thick skull? I have to chuckle but it's not funny, It makes my eyes wet and my nose runny. And I don't know why. I've slowly forgotten what it's like not to cry. have you?    Dear Migraines, more like figment of his imagination darkening the pigment of his skin where the scars are in creation.     Dear Migraines, you are not obligated to be an obligation.      Dear Officer is this against his probation?      Dear God, should I pray for his Salvation? Dear Suicidal thoughts, may you die of starvation. I hope no one feeds you He doesn't need you!        Dear complication, why are you so complicated? I can't imagine he sat there and contemplated death.         Dear Death, don't let him take his last breath, Please.                   © copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
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27
A B C D F...what defines us? Stupid letters staring at me screen, I never knew a letter could scare me. Why am I so strung out? The little letter gives me anxiety migraines, back aches, sleep deprivation. A is for Acceptable B is for Barely okay C is for Cannot believe how stupid you are! D is for don't bother coming home F is for Failed out of this life. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. Can I do it? Can I do it? Can I do it? I cannot do it. I cannot do it. I cannot do it. Tell me one more time why it is worth it? College? Intellectual? Brilliant? Can I still have that without the perfect little letter? One more night writing this paper. One more Algebra problem. One more History report. My will is breaking. I stay up day and night crying. I forgot how to relax. Thank you to my little letters for forever defining who I am.
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Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 10:16 AM UTC
The Little Letter
I don't know where to start... I feel plane infinite points traced around my brain. Many ticks ***** injustice migraines Right now I wanna vent on hot air blimps self proclaimed pimps till my tongue twists limp or turn a loaded gun on immature mutual funds my grain is rough and I've grown bitter an tough my mind metal is scuffed I Dizzied my Gills be cheeks blowin up guts what happened to the wonderful world musta been the Tea.. now I'm Ralphing up Chucks high society in memory it used to be where I wanted to be Visa Via English living was the life for me guess I'd traded up for some Hot **** reaL-It-Tea I think I've had enough guess I stuffed and over fluffed had too much empty v (MTV) sipping on that 4 twin Tea Now I gotta V! I vibrate so viciously I violate all variations of conform Ahh!, Tea Been too long slipping on and spilt ma Chi
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Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 8:57 PM UTC
Excerpt from "Too Long Tea"