Credit Card maxed out
I cancelled online subscriptions

Dang, I can't even afford gas
At least I live in a nice home in America

Debt ridden America
There is no future for this country

Ah well
In the event of some big catastrophe
I'll either be in the mountains
Or on a golf course

I bought the electrolyte powder yesterday
And added it to my emergency bag

No future for America

I remember when MTV was in its prime,
A new voice to represent the new boom
Babies growing up since the 80s
Louder still through the troubling decades
(Maxed out credit no head room)
After —the punks in nirvana and rapping clergy
It was the only channel on
Youthful rebel yell —honest news
I remember it pretty well
Shaping us generation x y and Personal Jesus
New wave good bye to when
Childhood then without pain of malnourished
Africa or nukes threatening our
Cruel summers
Were we happier then?
So what happens to the music
Rockstars rip van wrinkle
Geriatric hall of fame

(No one lives forever
Reruns with the ****** & mr. Ed
Now that old neighbor’s dead)

Television
Nowadays
Seem more gangster
School shootings terrorists
On the train, kamikaze planes,
It’s all the same ole
Bling kablam oh bits
******* please
Redirecting our attention
To WMD
***
Where the hells are we?

I remember back then
On MTV —Nicki Minaj says
Between the hysterics of police brutality
She said Happiness is living your life
Without struggle,
That stuck with me
Because we all watch the tube
We all search for meaning
Sadly defining what happiness
May look like
Real World and paradoxical reality
TV
Para socially defunct
Clarity
Conditioned to continuously
Stay tuned
Brief message of empty
Hypnosis a pure form of business
Wall Street
Boulevard of broken dreams
I want my

Happy. What do I mean
To be?
Life ***** lately
The human condition
Talking too much
Refusing to see
No more talking heads too much
Bla bla *******
I want my
MTV . Happy .
My generation
We are the world
freedom And yes, Peace.

Man kindly as one
Symphony
And street, a melting ***
Of diversity

I remember the music
The future
I had hope to see
Behind the shades
Circa 80s 90s
(Fossils)
What time is it then?
When will we
Begin
Again

Don’t worry be happy
Run Forest run!

a tab, a hit, a smoke,
lets roll, lets drink, lets ****.

my pupils shrink, and then dilate
another line confirms my fate

such pure, unprecedented ecstasy
takes all my pain away from me

a tab, a hit, a pill,
a smoke, a dab, a thrill.

no judgement, fear, regret,
as we make another bet,

i can take another dab
if you can take another tab.

too much, its done, too late
the addict has found her mate.

My heart is a credit card
almost maxed out
Just like my bank account
I’m running low on love

He itemized his medical bills,
Maxed retirement deductions.
He's given cash to charities
and Democratic functions.
This scion of the one percent
knows its his cash they're after.
Manipulating tax returns
will keep him the last laugher.
A death this year is profitable
before tax cuts expire.
While he'll probably miss his parents
Still he set their house on fire.
He hates to see the old place go
but still he watched it burn
while thinking of deductions
for the Estate tax return.

This is a lateral Christmas, my dears,
The reasons for red-nosed reindeer,
Rudolph was on the *****, my dears,
Santa and Rudolph loved Christmas beers,
You could see it in their faces, dears,
Rudy and Santa were dipsomaniacs,
They drank all the ***** in Santa's sacks,
But worse, Santa's in a stroke unit, we fear,
We knew it was a bit hard,
For gifts, Santa maxed out his credit cards,
Red cheeks meant high blood pressure, we fear,
There's worse, Mrs. Santa was a real *****,
She drank all the eggnog with Rudolph and Blitzen,
The drunken elves kept all your gifts for their party,
They drank all your Christmas bevvies, party hearty!
There's worse, Christmas fairies live in fear,
They did ask Santa one year,
"What to do with the trees, Santa dear?"
"Wait and see!!" roared Santa, O dear,
There's a fairy with a tree up her blip here,
Now, Santa's in the Stroke Unit this year,
Folk at the North Pole, too much Christmas cheer,
So, there's no Christmas on Earth, my dears,
This is the lateral Christmas year...........

Acclimate away you accustom to rabble streets, calculate thy cantankerous beef with another diabolic past!!
Destine connoisseur,

Old things get older while thy love stays newer!!!
What a hope to hope for something!!!!

Bare faced sophomore,
Soporific enducing trips to styles of maxed out galore....

Domineers on every corner,
Where youngest of mourners art ourn own children,
Gravitational to all pull ins,
Guided by ourn own sins we set our own adversities!!!!

When wilt we climb out of ourn own hutch?
Our brittled bunch doesn't think of two but one!!

Jilt all thou will falsifiers,
Killers and liars,
Were all wrapped tight to the same metropolis line!!!

Okaying thyself?
Canst we OK what's wrong and not fine?

Schzoid scribble ******* in,
Undeniable on planet green earth!!!

Underhanded,
Diploma drop ins,
Morphine moratorium so Grey thy sounds are!!!!

Yet thy smiles so beautifully wide!!!!!

Seek as thou finds,
Find all though you mayeth hide!!!

The scorch is over to be bear!!

Where is the opulent Queen who I seek?
Yet hasn't found me yet...

I once wondered what the Devil reads before he goes to sleep in Prada sheets
I found he wears white but feeds the least hungry

Go ahead and eat he told me, it’s food for thought food for death
I can’t catch my breath or brain they brought me here

One dance with the Devil done by 12 I feel so lucky
My bet with Judas just jarred the line call the ******

He stabbed the Devil’s back too but this time for a quid
We left to ***** and loot like teens with stolen credit cards

Maxed out and blacked out murderers with no trust
****, I must be Satan’s rebellious son.

Now reigning in the fire I bring the flames higher
Than they’ve ever been but my back wont be stabbed like his.

Everyone has a habit.
Mine is biting my nails until I start to ******* fingers.
Everyone has a habit.
Mine is falling in love to quickly, like a clumsy school girl who always falls into her crushes arms, just to be dropped
Everyone has a habit.
Mine is getting rejected like a credit card that has been maxed out.
Everyone has a habit.
Mine is always saying the wrong thing. When ever I talk to a girl I become my secret identity : loser boy! My one power is repelling women away quicker than the flash runs around a shopping mall with a Visa card .
Everyone has a habit.
Mine is brushing my hair until it almost looks like something that I could love, my hair is a chain that links me to my skin color, like a slave hooked to an auctioneers stage.  So I try to brush away my skin like  getting rid of thick curls will change my heritage.
Everyone has a habit.
I have this really ****** habit of never being happy. I always pick apart things and find some reason to hate myself. Im always to tall, to black, to stupid. I can't be happy for long because when I do I destroy myself like an evil villains plot when he presses the self destruct button because he's lost confidence in his plan.
My biggest habit is smoking cigarettes made of sadness, and allowing depression to infect the rest of my body like terminal cancer. I can't recall if I smoke  a pack a day anymore, it's a part of my everyday life. With every meal, movie or social interaction, I need a drag of sadness. There's this girl though, her smile is a nicotine patch, her voice is a message from my dr saying "we've found a cure, for your depression."
Now i can put down the pack.

Waiting,
Blood pressure exponentially increasing,
Walking into the back room,
Sitting in a plastic chair,
Waiting,
The latex gloves and metal rods,
Prodding and probing,
Mouth blood -Ick,
Nasty mint toothpaste,
More scraping and scratching,
Skin crawling,
Blood pressure maxed out,
Breaths quickening,
Thoughts narrowing,
Time slowing,
Metal tools dragging,
Slowly across white teeth,
Reminders to floss more,
Room darkening,
Pulse roaring like thunder,
Waiting for the end,
Gloves come off,
Handed a brush and floss,
Told to come back next week,
I need a filling.

In theory the milky way
Adventure
A break from breathing in only history
From spitting up dust in my sleep
In theory --- simplicity
                  But I've gone and got myself
Committed
                     To seven feet of sky I
Walk the same gravel back and forth and back to bed
In this rhythm I've lost all the reasons why I ever came to this place
Pebbles in the river getting rounder
Smoother til they disappear
                                At least when they're gone they won't cut your hands
It's so quiet here in the canyon
It's an effort to breath
I have nightly conversations with the me inside my head
        I exist, she screams
Yes, but I need you to rest
        Everyone at home loves you, she wheedles, and at home, every day is different
Easy to say so far away
Besides, this is simple, you've never tried simple before
                        Puke in the drain, simple
                                  Highway with one headlight, simple
                                                   Last cigarette clutched in your fist, simple, it's broken but you needed a way to keep the smoke in
            I do all my best writing when I'm driving
But words scatter at every destination
My thoughts are butterflies frightened of being pinned down by the pen
            Frightened of being stuck here with me in this canyon
                                                          ­                    Stay neutral
                                                         ­                            Simple
                                                          ­                                   My mouth tries to smile while my voice makes small talk
My eyes aren't for smiling anymore
They're for looking at my feet, documenting each step that will someday lead me home
For if I look up, take in what's around or ahead, I won't be able to breath
                                                          ­                                          It's simple
Let it all roll through, It's not your job to hold it still
Besides, everyone knows all dams go down in the end
Up at dawn every day
But haven't seen a single sunrise simple
Drink my coffee like it's water
                              Because it's water
                              Simple
Maxed out credit card, so no **** pads
And no leaving either
Call home and cry on a park bench, duck ponds are simple
I think I must've misread the stars I think
I am a star
            Shaped me trying
                                 To fit into a square shaped hole
**** rodeos and
**** this poem
I wrote it while I was driving so it ran away to lie on top of a mountain in last year's summer and look at the milky way
Free
With all the parts of me that I don't need these days
Simple to be subdued down to fraction of me, do I fit in here yet? And if I do, can I recover from that?
                       And what would Tom say? Why be sweet why be simple why be kind, after all he's only
A man and we all know a man
Has only one thing on his mind
But then again he
                           Would never trust a girl crying next to ducks
Never mind, this is just another travelin' song my thoughts are a travelin' on
I'm left with stolen lyrics from Waits and Oberst but only seven feet of quiet sky to sing them in
I am here with my sleeping heart and aching back while my thoughts are off
Rambling on and on and on

Professional Poem
1/14/2013

The shelves are full of papers.
My e-mail folder full.
Workload maxed capacity.
But still got more to do.

Each day the office seems to shrink.
Buried under business.

But each day my experience grows.
And with it comes persistence.

My confidence has gone out the roof.
As I dress up in tie and suit.

I wear my watch.
Look my best.
Never sloppy.
Slim-fit vest.

So here is my confessional.
The life of a new professional.

I kind of like the grueling hours.
and even the underpaid wages.

Because the more I learn,
The less I yearn.
For this happiness to become contagious.
Professional will save us,
from our lackluster lives.

rag tag *** hag grocery bag in drag
maxed credit and bragging about having a stag party
farty party girls in shart coated pantyhose blow wasted kisses
to fisters in trousers bumping mump victims blisters
hitting wristers like the Williams sisters
coyote trickster with a brand new mix tape waits
with his **** taped to his own leg like Ricky Lake
on her fist date
another Cosby **** escape hot-plated shared space
I’m no racist cause my skin is white and pasty
I’m tasty and **** like Britney sans the braces insatiable
and my testicles are reckless needing spectacles
done wrecked the hull Captain Pickard
and a test-tube girl –

Here I am, no money and hungry again
The last few months have been tough
Money is short again.
I don’t have money to eat out
I should have made a sandwich at the house
But I don’t have any meat just bread
I collected bottles and cans the night before trash day
Late at night so the neighbors wouldn’t see
I turned them into the recycling center
Just to put $7.35 of gas in my car
I made it to the office
When it’s lunch time I just sit at my desk
Pretending I have too much work to do.
I’ve maxed out my credit cards
The office gal asked why I’m not going to lunch
She tells me to take a break.
“Okay you’re right” I say
I go to my car drive around the corner and sleep
I am hungry
When I go back to the office I’ll have more coffee
It wakes me up
I think about borrowing $20 for gas
But I decide I don’t want to
I’ll make it home
I drive back home on empty
My son is home from school
His class is going on a field trip
He needs ten dollars
I write a check I know will bounce
I make rice for dinner he is disappointed.
I told him I forgot to go to store, but I will go tomorrow
I put a lot of salt and pepper in it.
The phone keeps ringing.
We never answer it.  
I tell my son I have to run a quick errand
I have a coin collection my father gave me
I drive to a pawn shop
They give me $60 for it.
Its worth $200.
It will cost me $91.00 to buy it back
I put $10 in my gas tank
I buy some cereal and milk for tomorrow
“Where have you been?”
“Sorry I didn’t think I would be gone so long”
We watch T.V. together
Just three more days
Just three more days until pay day
I’ll just make it.

The hospitals full
The ambulances all gone
My heart empty
My trust gone

The hospitals full
The ambulances all gone
The doctors and nurses maxed out
Can life still go on?

The hospitals full
The ambulances all gone
The morgues and mortuaries over-spilling
In the City of Angels and lost souls

The hospitals full
The ambulances all gone
I wear two masks, a smile and one of cloth
Life must go on

The hospitals full
The ambulances all gone
As ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three
Happy new year?

In the City of Angels and lost souls
The hospitals are full
The ambulances all gone
as we ring in a "new" year and life must go on

The hospitals remain full
The ambulances still gone
as one, two, three, four, five, six friend and family we bury
as living death still stalks on

I gave my childhood
to pain.
I gave years to something
that did not deserve it.
I gave my happiness to it
to instead of giving
it to myself.
I’ve been buying time on a
maxed out credit card.
My body is scarred
from trying to pay down the debit.

It's hard to keep 'em open
It's hard to keep 'em closed
   Those eyes of mine
   Won't make up their minds
No flash, but I'll strike you a pose

It's hard to know what's coming
It's hard to not know, too
   So I'll listen again
   To the rain on my skin
Drop-drippity right onto you

It's crazy to put it in focus
It's crazy to lose the direction
   But I know that it's near
   (We're the only ones here)
We can try out our latest collection

Two dragons who can't breath the fire
Two monsters who make it instead
   Four whimsical wings
   Create mystical things
And keep on 'til they've been fully fed

'Cause that's when I feel it course through me
'Cause that's when the summit has maxed
   And the way back to town
   Is the only way down
Let's roll down 'til we land on our backs

My request and desire
Was for you to use my face as a seat
An insatiable hunger
Your southern lips
I wanted to eat

Tongue flat against your flower
Taking my ability to breathe away
I have given you the power

As things get more intense
I put my tongue inside
You pull my hair and push
My face you begin to ride

Your sweet nectar is flowing like a river
I can feel your thick juices
Running down the sides of my face
Pressing hard, you begin to quiver

Pleasure maxed, I push into you
Feeling your release
Brings me satisfaction too

When we are through
You taste yourself as you bite my lip
Into sated sleep we safely slip

The heat outside must be a result of the
General increase in emotion that sometimes
Follows summer, top down and
Music eased up and maxed
Out among the sunglassed groups

Flipflop tans and cool lake water
Rubbing on bronzing lotion that
Allegedly prevents tanning

Today is a day, is the day
For adventure and discovery
All to ever want a cove in which
To waste away each and every hour

Drink plenty of water, make
Plenty of love and you'll be
Alright my friend, alright

There's always the lemonade if
Heat should assume the role of an adversary
Sparring on the green grass
What better way to live?
And where are you, to wonder
I'll play louder for you

Saint Valentine's cards of cherubs wrapped
In red ribbons
Wresting In pockets Of a trench-coat lying removed.
Pulsating street lamps revealing glittering
Flecks of snowflakes lining tired streets
With skyscrapers.
We covet empty bottles thrown with the intention to shatter;
Watering up the lawns.
I'm dreaming of palm trees rough,
Sun-kissed, and swollen
Like bumblebees had stung them.

Shifting iris' from corner to corner,
Not missing any pleasurable encounter;
Sinking in ***** and choking In smoke.
Lines cut with maxed out credit cards and
Tokes from glass pipes shaped like octopi;
There's single roses and small
Teddy bears
Red hearts hanging from strings from the ceiling.

The wallflower with no significant other In particular,
Seems peculiar in
Contrast to a sparkling demeanor;
Apprehensive to be present, and trying to disguise It.
Everyone is stumbling, dropping their cigarettes;
Howling at the Moon and
Laughing wildly!

Lord Forgive me,
I have talked about love,
I have talked
about love,
I have broken commandments
on my skin,
I have killed a thousand
dogs
in my mind,
I put arsenic
in Jesus' cereal,
I placed myself
at the center
of the world
and lit a match,
I have put my heart
in precarious positions
and called women
demons,
I have stolen $3,000
from my family:
credit cards
maxed out,
private stashes,
blacked out,
I even asked my own momma
for a few dollars
for something to eat
when you know where
I went; how I fed myself,
Lord Forgive me,
Lord
*******.
Lord Forgive me
for ******* the You
in Me,
no born-again **** here,
I'm just placing a collect call
out to the galaxies,
please accept the charges.

Visions are paired with -im's.
The eyes are
mouths of syntax maxed.
Ya know?
Yes of course you do --
The I's and We's are all elbows-n-knees,
Their voodoo looks are nooks
That hush the crannies. Look,
Don't you lecture me with your
Dictionary of dearth kept tableside
Like a biblical sigh
I know I know -- so there!
Crouching
Disavowaled owls eyes wide
shut up.
Yes yes, I know that
If I'm not careful,
These words will be
The life of me.

"You've a large malignant mass," the Dr told her. She appeared gaunt in the feeble glow of x-rays despite being more than a little over-weight.

She was full of words, good words, too but she said nothing at the news biting ******* her lower lip.

She paid for the visit with a nearly maxed-out credit card. She had never been sick like this before but she had to admit, at least to herself, that she always seemed a little broke.

She lived well, she thought, at least relatively.

But she'd been increasingly more self-conflicted lately and the sensation was that of a gaping and festering wound.

A part of her seemed panicked and another part didn't care at all and, more strange, from the recesses of her bowls, inflamed and angry, came an obscene and lustfully sneering cheer.

Her stomach was queasy. She wanted Jesus Chicken anyway. She pulled into the drive-thru, not for convenience but for anonymity. She ordered the #1, add cheese, with waffle-fries. She also requested several packets of mayonnaise.

She ate greedily thru the traffic with her ******* ready.

She thought, thank God for speaker phone, and called a dude that tried to **** her at a party once because she knew he sold coke. She'd had gotten his number from one of the guys he'd been with that night.

She nearly screamed when he suggested that maybe they could work out a deal.

She heard herself say, "I'll be right over."

She pulled out a pack of unfiltered Pall Mall 100's, lit one, inhaling deeply, then choke-laughed unexpectedly when the DJ said, "this just in folks,

Democracy....,
she's dead."

Maxed out,taxed out,put upon,not asked out
lonely man with tambourine
was seen dancing topside.Tower bridge
and have you ever been so high that you could almost kiss the sky,but far too shy you shy away and dance until the crowds shout stop,
and then you drop
a stone
you're going home
back to the deep where you can sleep
without the noise from girls or boys that ring and sing,but in your ears one thing,and one thing water filling up the spaces that you ought to fill with something more,more like this
the kiss that one would plant upon the frozen lips of a sky that dies when you do,
do you
want that
on your conscience?
all nonsense of course, another horse a different colour
why bother
it's
Monday
anyway.

I  have never felt this before
This feeling makes my heart soar
I never believed this could happen to me
Hes amazing and makes me feel so free
I have seen this in fairy tales and read it in books
Who would of known it only took one quick look
The feeling you see is hard to describe
It just gives off this kind of vibe
It makes my legs feel weak i can hardly speak
My heart flutters and my whole body is relaxed
With every sound, touch, move,breath it cant be maxed
See what i thought could never happen or be felt
what i gave up on, now makes me melt
I knew this was out there but didn't believe it was true
Its as gentle and pure as the winter wind that blew
He makes me believe again and want to be a better person
I feel like i can take over the world
He makes me laugh and so care free
with him i can be me
He knows just what to say and how to say it
Every night i pray
I thank God for putting such a incredible guy in my life
Because of him
there is no need to mope i know have new hope
who would of known  that it would lead to this
and cause so much bliss
All started with one simple "hello" followed later with a kiss
i can see everything now its all in plain view
i want to thank you Ryan
I cant wait to see this trough
where this will go neither of us know
lets just sit back and enjoy the show.