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"manuscripts" poems
I read that he lost a suitcase full of manuscripts on a train and that they never were recovered. I can't match the agony of this but the other night I wrote a 3-page poem upon this computer and through my lack of diligence and practice and by playing around with commands on the menu I somehow managed to erase the poem forever. believe me, such a thing is difficult to do even for a novice but I somehow managed to do it. now I don't think this 3-pager was immor- tal but there were some crazy wild lines, now gone forever. it bothers more than a touch, it's some- thing like knocking over a good bottle of wine. and writing about it hardly makes a good poem. still, I thought somehow you'd like to know? if not, at least you've read this far and there could be better work down the line. let's hope so, for your sake and mine.
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22.6k
Hemingway never did this
My wife, a psychiatrist, sleeps through my reading and writing in bed, the half-whispered lines, manuscripts piled between us, but in the deep part of night when her beeper sounds she bolts awake to return the page of a patient afraid he'll **** himself. She sits in her robe in the kitchen, listening to the anguished voice on the phone. She becomes the vessel that contains his fear, someone he can trust to tell things I would tell to a poem.
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22.8k
Why do poets write?
A melancholy ***** we came to adore in mournful tone, finish the tale abruptly and sob, uncontrollably; "Memories of my melancholy ****** including "Love in the times of cholera" are now part of our folklore, this land of cashew groves and banana plantations in  Indian landscape, far far away from Latin American shores. Her lascivious days are over death visits the house of love, blood splattered and a haunt of dark happenings, that begets children with tails, shame, honor and secrets creep out of manuscripts. Gabo is no more, no more"Living to tell the tale" the Part Two, promised before. Gabriel Garcia Marquez, after three false starts goes to his final abode for rest, now. A coded manuscript, written in in classical Sanskrit, (the language of all divine texts of Indian sages of yore) scripted by the mysterious gypsy,Melquiades predicts the wipe out of Buendia clan of five generations Torrential rain and deluge engulf Macondo, ends "One hundred years of solitude". Gabo you point towards east what is the answer to the conundrum of Buendias? In Mexico city they were preparing to take  Gabo to his last ride to the origin of all magical realism he'd return In a land far away, yet exactly the same landscape as Latin Americas we grieve his death as that of one of our own Gabo, in past thirty years, you mysteriously taught us to discern the magical realism of cosmos
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Apr 19, 2014
Apr 19, 2014 at 12:35 PM UTC
Adieu, dear Gabo, now we'll see your magical realism in cosmic wonders
I etched patterns into a tree with a pocket knife that had a red plastic handle Indentions such as these never stay Yet eternally we press against the world Hoping to make a mark that will shine in the daylight and glow in the dark ~ *I'm a shriveled slice of the Americana pie With my soul on a swivel and the devil in my eyes* Life was a son of a b!tch with fists that spat dirt when it spoke And it ONLY screamed. ~ I'm somewhere between David Duchovny and Stephen King And I'm trying to rip up manuscripts that I didn't write and I don't know who did. Goodnight America. My patterns will explain my existence more than I ever could.
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Nov 28, 2017
Nov 28, 2017 at 9:29 PM UTC
Existential Dread and Etchings
You'll never believe this but, I drank from God's flask the other day. Yeah, Convinced that it was half full Of conscientiousness. Of hope, or passion, or honesty, or somethingworthgivingashitabout. For it had once appeared to many, A beautiful and grand canteen, Forged of liquid silver. And as I allowed the contents to inwardly surge, I realized that it had plunged into the same carnal vessel From whence it came, And the lining of my body had been holding the ancient linings of other bodies, Reincarnate. Romantic, If that's the way you wanna slice it. But There is a recipe for such rapture, And it's been written on pages much less holy than the Bible-- On the coffee stained clipboards of chemists And the meticulous manuscripts of mathematicians. It's made out of the same **** that everything else is made of: Out of the same force that makes you float when you sit in the dead sea, Out of your body's sweat after a hard day's work, Out of the blood in your veins. Salt. All of it, everything, everyone, Salt. Dissolved, crystallized, harvested, ingested, Redissolved, recrystallized, and the cycle repeated.
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Feb 12, 2012
Feb 12, 2012 at 11:31 AM UTC
Ye of little faith, indeed.
Playing with me is like, playing with ur life Cut you down slice by slice, no knife Make you a sacrifice, then slap you back to life It’s a full on scrap when I rap, You wasn’t ready for that, I went straight to hell, after I made contact, Battled in pitch black, now they won’t let me back, how many MC you know, is rugged as that, I’ve been to the unknown, and left an impact I kept my pride, it’s all mine, fully intact, I’m on my shrine, come from behind, ain’t no going back If ur verses really nicer than mine, that’s fine – now rap. My scripts, so wicked, they flip manuscripts with one rip, I’ll tear you in half, my warpath is your bloodbath You’re a joke so I just laugh, at this simple task Terrorizing ur *** the terror rising in your eyes You shouldn't have ventured down this path I’m wearing a jason mask, sipping a flask Anyone else jump in, Freddy slicing his *** My writing is brash, If your a titan than clash, If not, your just trash, So I, Hulk smash, Then wipe ur blood off my mask, and relax And get back to stretching cash like yoga class. cause I could care a lot less, about flows that's so monotonous It just shows you’re a hot mess, Your raps blow so much you success You are too slow, to keep up with my progress my style been buck wild since I was a child it sounds like you are much less.
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Sep 22, 2014
Sep 22, 2014 at 1:36 PM UTC
Rap Ego Freestyle
I wish I wrote the way I thought Obsessively Incessantly With maddening hunger I’d write to the point of suffocation I’d write myself into nervous breakdowns Manuscripts spiralling out like tentacles into abysmal nothing And I’d write about you a lot more than I should -benedict smith
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Nov 19, 2017
Nov 19, 2017 at 10:35 PM UTC
(Benedict Smith)
*For I have known them all already, known them all: Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, I have measured out my life with coffee spoons...* Beyond the blackest cotton glove, the compulsively edited manuscripts, unmentionable lines untrained ears love; beyond the satin lining of a human husk, the failing engine or cooing soul nightingales smuggled in the dusk; beyond asking how giraffes like to die, the moon's waxing through a kaleidoscope, eyes hollowing before hearts tell a lie; beyond the manifestation of a mental illness, the coffee spoon having no coffee left to measure, an overwhelming sense of an unseen presence; beyond where the orchard truncates its blossoming is renewal of equality like an unmapped sea spilling its welcome to a choked wish.
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Feb 6, 2013
Feb 6, 2013 at 8:45 PM UTC
Springtime
we present ourselves as perfect manuscripts nobody sees the crumpled rough drafts and messy handwriting scattered around the bedroom carpet at home. nobody has seen the way i've scratched out parts of myself that didn't fit into the high school mold then the parts that didn't fit into my suitcase when i moved away from home nobody has seen the revisions i've made do i sound too formal, am i too quiet, do i need to be a little bit funnier in order to be considered acceptable art? i've thrown entire scenes of my life into the trash because i don't want anybody to see them and i am ashamed i sit for hours staring at blank pages wondering how anyone could ever find me interesting enough to spend time with do you ever feel that way, too?
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Apr 25, 2015
Apr 25, 2015 at 2:56 PM UTC
expectations.
Night, and there is nothing more fragile than this fever, an opus of guitars swelling with song and water, fluent as the nocturnes are tuned to the lower scale and strings vibrate deep within the marrow as they ascend, the soul blowing glass, and filling the lungs with a long slow taper of light, streaming as fingers are brought to bear on frets covered in hoarfrost, and stray hair is pushed back from countenance, to reveal the fractions of fire caught upon iris there come slow indulgences, and forgotten things, to twine the body in banners of winter silk, scarves about the wrists, roped in tethers and these feathers of night-blooming jasmine hang in long strands of pearl, from my temple, teal threads of opal and heather braids twine the tone, the time is not all poems upon a blank page or songs to coo the concert of souls muted in chambers acoustically formed of minutes, stolen in a glance, at glimpse of skin or the tender touch of cheek as eyes brim soul-filled to overflow, nocturnal blends the silent pause between movements upon a page where there is room for words, though never found ,but in gesture and margin's note that lays soft upon the tongue, behind lips suited for sighs these lost manuscripts begin a long hand of notes held whole Let the music play again, its plea, eternal, my love, please do not forget how to preserve me, for this is night, and it is fragile....
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Nov 2, 2012
Nov 2, 2012 at 6:54 AM UTC
Nocturne:
read consistently, learn diligently, and write profusely so that beyond lifetimes of persistent practice produced from painful, arthritis-stricken fingers may you birth a humble book in its eternal years, as many mute manuscripts, it shall collect continents of dust until it finally bares relevance due by your unfortunate final, unheard breaths. but near such justly demise, you will rage and reach forth, to hope an innocent youth may learn the many mistakes collected and condensed from one life to years to weeks, summarized by your trembling hands. yet I fear, as you may too, that as we fade from existence, our voice echoes lost; our words unread forever, to exist untouched as a decorative piece on a pretentious bookshelf.
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Apr 7, 2016
Apr 7, 2016 at 12:14 AM UTC
"A Decorative Piece on a Pretentious Bookshelf"
A goldwing moth is between the scissors and the ink bottle on the desk. Last night it flew hundreds of circles around a glass bulb and a flame wire. The wings are a soft gold; it is the gold of illuminated initials in manuscripts of the medieval monks.
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Goldwing Moth
you are a fool, Sophia. As I look up at these city lights, every neon sign seems to advertise you; they all remind me of what I'm missing out on. I pass strangers and hear them whispering your tender mercies: "so?" "fee" "ahhh..." I may be being quite forward so early on in our correspondences, but the theory that you are a scrap of paper that someone would allow to slip through their fingers is ridiculous to me. I say that because even after only meeting you once, by such a fortunate and faithful chance, I wanted to write screenplays, novellas, and entire manuscripts only based on how beautiful your name sounds when I say it. I will be absorbed in everything you admit me to learn about you. I only hope for your amusement when you discover my own scorched trails. I'm stupefied by your compliments, and I will catch every drop of your defrosting heart on my tongue. I felt so stupid but I beamed in pride seeing I could make you blush as pink as the roses on the bush behind you... such a delicate, feminine, sensitive color; white blossoming into red, purity blooming into passion. How I wish I could be the one to awaken a passion in you. I'm terribly sorry if I'm smothering, but you've an expert pen dipped in ink of naivety... in meeting you I crossed the border between respectable me and questionable sanity: the Sophia Line (your kiss would be turpentine, **** anything I used to be to become anything, everything you need from me). Ah... fee so... you've given me a lot to live up to. xo. Josephine.
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Jan 8, 2014
Jan 8, 2014 at 3:56 PM UTC
Josephine
you are a fool, Sophia. As I look up at these city lights, every neon sign seems to advertise you; they all remind me of what I'm missing out on. I pass strangers and hear them whispering your tender mercies: "so?" "fee" "ahhh..." I may be being quite forward so early on in our correspondences, but the theory that you are a scrap of paper that someone would allow to slip through their fingers is ridiculous to me. I say that because even after only meeting you once, by such a fortunate and faithful chance, I wanted to write screenplays, novellas, and entire manuscripts only based on how beautiful your name sounds when I say it. I will be absorbed in everything you admit me to learn about you. I only hope for your amusement when you discover my own scorched trails. I'm stupefied by your compliments, and I will catch every drop of your defrosting heart on my tongue. I felt so stupid but I beamed in pride seeing I could make you blush as pink as the roses on the bush behind you... such a delicate, feminine, sensitive color; white blossoming into red, purity blooming into passion. How I wish I could be the one to awaken a passion in you. I'm terribly sorry if I'm smothering, but you've an expert pen dipped in ink of naivety... in meeting you I crossed the border between respectable me and questionable sanity: the Sophia Line (your kiss would be turpentine, **** anything I used to be to become anything, everything you need from me). Ah... fee so... you've given me a lot to live up to. xo. Josephine.
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1
you share with me such hurtful words that are a balm to my kindred soul. they hurt as they leave your summer wine lips and drip like molten wax upon my chest, and heart, and mind, and touch my soul... verse after verse. you entwine my eroded coil within your moonlight glow, and tell me all the things I so hungrily needed to know. you wrap my broken hands within your silken ones. I crave to part your lips, and share in such a melody. that starlight hum. that midnight medley. that dark and ever-glowing sonnet that brought you to my desolation. I yearn to kiss them with my ones, those lips as warm as starlight flame, as perfect as the heart of night, as young as time itself. but mine are blistered by frigid winds, and bloodied from some fist I've recently had to stomach...
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Jan 13, 2024
Jan 13, 2024 at 12:57 AM UTC
her lips of weeping manuscripts
Show me that you're an animal Make me cry Your eyes glow in the night You run through the jungle with your pride on your sleeve. Isn't life too sweet? Their king has risen and there's a lump in my throat. Will you cry when I read out the poems I have written? You're manuscripts waiting to be deciphered, lanterns waiting to be lit, a storm ready to start, With you, I am the happiest I have ever been. You're an animal ready to ****
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Dec 19, 2015
Dec 19, 2015 at 12:54 PM UTC
Animal
Sara L Russell 8th June 2016 _________________________________________________ Dear Sir or Madam, we regret to say your manuscript is not quite what we need; so therefore we're returning it today, with all good wishes that you will succeed. * * * Dear [your name here] regretfully these days we do not read submitted manuscripts; we're mainly doing television plays and cannot give out full critiques or tips. * * * "I'm sorry but our editor's away and he's the only one for poetry what was your name again? But I will say we will get back to you eventually." * * * No news is good news, so we carry on till everything but desperation's gone.
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Jun 8, 2016
Jun 8, 2016 at 3:47 AM UTC
The Complication of Publication (sonnet)
Arabs are on their knees Command them left and right, whatever you please The female goddess with her divinity But she mustn't succumb to her desires Cursed with a voidhole, a witch with no flying stick Strike the strings and they will shiver Their Gods with invested interest in genitalia, Debating vice and virtue Perverted thoughts, oh, let them pass As she rubs her blood oozed inner thighs I can hear the delicate moans and quivers Society under her thumb Quickening breath, fast paced heart and wide spread legs At last, the land of promised ******* Virginity fetishists with holy manuscripts Tribal war, the darkest of blood Mount your ******* to the highest heights Reach their moral mountains and hijack their sanity Fear stricken by your circular thumb-motions For they will associate ***** blood with vanity Ignorance at their gates No light escapes, shattered lives Facts infecting their pride Worshiped not for her intellect nor beauty But for the voidhole she carries In the desert sand, she remains a liability Until she becomes a miserable bride
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Dec 23, 2014
Dec 23, 2014 at 9:23 PM UTC
Voidhole
I was doing research in Hubei Where they executed Yu, That deity soldier glorified By Buddhists, Taoists too, I sat perusing manuscripts That dated from the Ming, And came across a reference About Yu’s finger ring. A ring of gold so broad that it Would fit a peasant’s wrist, For Guan Yu was a mighty man His ring, an amethyst, Set round with groups of diamonds It was lost the day, they said, That Sun Quan had ordered them To lop off Guan Yu’s head. They lost it for a thousand years It turned up with the Ming, Was lost again in battle with That mighty force, the Qing, I’d heard it round the market place A whisper, now and then, That ring, it might have surfaced In the village of Maicheng. I scoured the streets and alleyways For signs of old antiques, Researching as I went, I walked Around the town for weeks, I found a backstreet corner shop One night, and open late, Run by a dodgy Chinaman A total reprobate. He had links to the Triads, they Would come into the shop, A shifty group of gangsters with Their stolen goods to pop, From where I sat with manuscripts Up on the second floor, I’d look straight down the staircase Watch them come in through the door. One day they brought in a bundle Tied up in a burlap sack, Threw it down on the counter, said: ‘What do you make of that?’ Fang Zhang then opened the parcel and He pulled out a giant hand, The flesh the texture of leather with A monstrous golden band. The ring was almost immoveable The hand, with fingers spread, Could grasp a maiden around the waist Or crush a warrior’s head, I held my breath as the Triad tried To disengage the thing, And all the while the diamonds flashed On that massive golden ring. Fang Zhang paid over a block of notes That looked more like a brick, There must have been a million Yuan From what I saw of it, The Triad left and I caught my breath Fang Zhang had pulled it off, He threw the hand in a ******* bin And then I left the shop. He hid the ring as I walked on through I had to get some air, I’d caught a glimpse of a famous ring, A thing I couldn’t share, They’d say it didn’t exist, that I Was dreaming, if I tried, They thought that it had been lost to view The day that Yu had died. I went back down the following day The Police were there in force, They stood out front and barred the way From normal *********** They told me through an interpreter Of the ****** of Fang Zhang, His face was black, for around his neck Was a massive, ringless hand! David Lewis Paget (Pronunciation: Guan Yu - Gwon you Hubei - Who - bay; Sun Quan - Sun Chu-arn Qing - Ching; Maicheng - My - cheng Fang Zhang - Fang Shjang (soft J))
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Oct 26, 2013
Oct 26, 2013 at 9:26 PM UTC
Guan Yu's Finger Ring
I was doing research in Hubei Where they executed Yu, That deity soldier glorified By Buddhists, Taoists too, I sat perusing manuscripts That dated from the Ming, And came across a reference About Yu’s finger ring. A ring of gold so broad that it Would fit a peasant’s wrist, For Guan Yu was a mighty man His ring, an amethyst, Set round with groups of diamonds It was lost the day, they said, That Sun Quan had ordered them To lop off Guan Yu’s head. They lost it for a thousand years It turned up with the Ming, Was lost again in battle with That mighty force, the Qing, I’d heard it round the market place A whisper, now and then, That ring, it might have surfaced In the village of Maicheng. I scoured the streets and alleyways For signs of old antiques, Researching as I went, I walked Around the town for weeks, I found a backstreet corner shop One night, and open late, Run by a dodgy Chinaman A total reprobate. He had links to the Triads, they Would come into the shop, A shifty group of gangsters with Their stolen goods to pop, From where I sat with manuscripts Up on the second floor, I’d look straight down the staircase Watch them come in through the door. One day they brought in a bundle Tied up in a burlap sack, Threw it down on the counter, said: ‘What do you make of that?’ Fang Zhang then opened the parcel and He pulled out a giant hand, The flesh the texture of leather with A monstrous golden band. The ring was almost immoveable The hand, with fingers spread, Could grasp a maiden around the waist Or crush a warrior’s head, I held my breath as the Triad tried To disengage the thing, And all the while the diamonds flashed On that massive golden ring. Fang Zhang paid over a block of notes That looked more like a brick, There must have been a million Yuan From what I saw of it, The Triad left and I caught my breath Fang Zhang had pulled it off, He threw the hand in a ******* bin And then I left the shop. He hid the ring as I walked on through I had to get some air, I’d caught a glimpse of a famous ring, A thing I couldn’t share, They’d say it didn’t exist, that I Was dreaming, if I tried, They thought that it had been lost to view The day that Yu had died. I went back down the following day The Police were there in force, They stood out front and barred the way From normal *********** They told me through an interpreter Of the ****** of Fang Zhang, His face was black, for around his neck Was a massive, ringless hand! David Lewis Paget (Pronunciation: Guan Yu - Gwon you Hubei - Who - bay; Sun Quan - Sun Chu-arn Qing - Ching; Maicheng - My - cheng Fang Zhang - Fang Shjang (soft J))
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85
She seemed like a nice, pretty girl, so I had invited her to dinner in a small Italian restaurant. Over aperitifs (spritzer for her, scotch for me) she told me about herself. She was twenty years old, she came from Baltimore, her name was Lucinda, but her family called her Lulu. She had a passion for poetry, in fact she had just finished writing a poem, that very day: would I like to hear it? In the circumstances, only one answer was possible. I tried to look suitably impressed, and when eventually it was over, I applauded. "What imagination," I said, "What talent!" She smiled, reached inside her handbag and brought out a sheaf of dog-eared manuscripts. "Dear God," I thought, "There's more!" Oh well; there was still the possibility that after the liqueurs she might ask me back to her place, for *** (Or, as she would probably pronounce it, "coffee".) So on, and on, she went. The little lady had a talent all right: she could recite and eat simultaneously. Neither the pasta puttanesca nor the saltimbocca di vitello could slow down her almost-rhyming couplets. At last, the papers were all returned to the handbag. She looked at me expectantly. "So, do you think I could get my poetry published?" I paused, to consider my answer. But the pause was too long: she looked right into my eyes, sensed my mood, and in that moment knew what the answer had to be. During the dessert she crumpled; large, heavy tears fell silently into her zabaglione. Poor lamb! I'd never wanted to hurt her. She didn't deserve the destruction of her dreams. Who does?
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Feb 25, 2012
Feb 25, 2012 at 2:56 PM UTC
Enough, Lucinda! Enough!
She seemed like a nice, pretty girl, so I had invited her to dinner in a small Italian restaurant. Over aperitifs (spritzer for her, scotch for me) she told me about herself. She was twenty years old, she came from Baltimore, her name was Lucinda, but her family called her Lulu. She had a passion for poetry, in fact she had just finished writing a poem, that very day: would I like to hear it? In the circumstances, only one answer was possible. I tried to look suitably impressed, and when eventually it was over, I applauded. "What imagination," I said, "What talent!" She smiled, reached inside her handbag and brought out a sheaf of dog-eared manuscripts. "Dear God," I thought, "There's more!" Oh well; there was still the possibility that after the liqueurs she might ask me back to her place, for *** (Or, as she would probably pronounce it, "coffee".) So on, and on, she went. The little lady had a talent all right: she could recite and eat simultaneously. Neither the pasta puttanesca nor the saltimbocca di vitello could slow down her almost-rhyming couplets. At last, the papers were all returned to the handbag. She looked at me expectantly. "So, do you think I could get my poetry published?" I paused, to consider my answer. But the pause was too long: she looked right into my eyes, sensed my mood, and in that moment knew what the answer had to be. During the dessert she crumpled; large, heavy tears fell silently into her zabaglione. Poor lamb! I'd never wanted to hurt her. She didn't deserve the destruction of her dreams. Who does?
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6
The words got scattered Like stardust The kites soared high up Reaching infinity and beyond The thoughts remained Unchanged The people remained Voracious. She read the manuscripts In her dreams There was a hiatus That changed the way Broken paths And Shattered dreams It Made her think differently For good or for bad Is still something she is caught up with For joy or morose Is something She has to decide For every turning point In her life Makes her soul Robust And every ray of light Reinforced a new thought Things start and come to and end People left and things were prioritised Somewhere in the middle Of this hiatus She learnt how to Live.
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Jan 23, 2014
Jan 23, 2014 at 9:16 AM UTC
Hiatus
*god, ive never seen a girl that empty.* pathetic, hollow skin in unwashed jeans.a blown egg, empty casket cracking sidewalk.im lonely but i can play the part, bravado biting the sky like lightning but you can hear your own breath echoing in me when you sit too close. im a mine shaft, im stale air and stone. i dug myself empty when i tried to believe i need no one but myself.i don't need anyone else.blisters on my heels, thoughts on self-defeat, self-pity, self-immolation compared to arson. when you pulled out all my teeth you told me it was so i could kiss you fuller, deeper; you said *now you dont have to be afraid. now you cant hurt me.* it rained last night but i thought this was a drought year, should i feel something? i slept through the thunder.GOD, i hate thinking about this, i hate these harness ribs hate air pockets in my chest i cant take this pressure. when youre leaning down to kiss his lighter i'm sending you 50 texts that all say the same thing, accoutrements of disorientation, swollen fingers. i dont think i'm doing this right.i think i'm a different person every time i get dressed in the morning, every time i sleep.all the words ive misheard  stack up like unfinished manuscripts, like letters from neglected friends. this was wrong when it started and now it's just confused. hoarding matches, hoarding lighters like that'll save me from the rain. think about the bones beneath your flesh.think about the sturdy rock within your soft thighs. think about your liver.think about your bloodyourskinyourmeat. think about the last time you spoke with feeling. think about the last time you dreamt. remember when you said you wanted all of me? said you felt afraid, you said sometimes you feel like i could eat you alive, reaching over my event horizon, leaning towards antimatter lips. why did you call yourself a storm you're only hurting yourself? why did you call me an earthquake when i'm the only one im ripping apart. you keep sticking your tongue down the throats of people who just want to bite it off.
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Aug 31, 2014
Aug 31, 2014 at 6:28 PM UTC
decompression sickness
*god, ive never seen a girl that empty.* pathetic, hollow skin in unwashed jeans.a blown egg, empty casket cracking sidewalk.im lonely but i can play the part, bravado biting the sky like lightning but you can hear your own breath echoing in me when you sit too close. im a mine shaft, im stale air and stone. i dug myself empty when i tried to believe i need no one but myself.i don't need anyone else.blisters on my heels, thoughts on self-defeat, self-pity, self-immolation compared to arson. when you pulled out all my teeth you told me it was so i could kiss you fuller, deeper; you said *now you dont have to be afraid. now you cant hurt me.* it rained last night but i thought this was a drought year, should i feel something? i slept through the thunder.GOD, i hate thinking about this, i hate these harness ribs hate air pockets in my chest i cant take this pressure. when youre leaning down to kiss his lighter i'm sending you 50 texts that all say the same thing, accoutrements of disorientation, swollen fingers. i dont think i'm doing this right.i think i'm a different person every time i get dressed in the morning, every time i sleep.all the words ive misheard  stack up like unfinished manuscripts, like letters from neglected friends. this was wrong when it started and now it's just confused. hoarding matches, hoarding lighters like that'll save me from the rain. think about the bones beneath your flesh.think about the sturdy rock within your soft thighs. think about your liver.think about your bloodyourskinyourmeat. think about the last time you spoke with feeling. think about the last time you dreamt. remember when you said you wanted all of me? said you felt afraid, you said sometimes you feel like i could eat you alive, reaching over my event horizon, leaning towards antimatter lips. why did you call yourself a storm you're only hurting yourself? why did you call me an earthquake when i'm the only one im ripping apart. you keep sticking your tongue down the throats of people who just want to bite it off.
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39
“I wish I wrote the way I thought; Obsessively, Incessantly, With maddening hunger. I’d write to the point of suffocation. I’d write myself into nervous breakdowns, Manuscripts spiraling out like tentacles into abysmal nothing. And I’d write about you a lot more than I should.” -Benedict Smith But instead I write nothing And hope that my thoughts are understood through my actions Knowing the impossibility of it all Because of the enigma that I was and continue to be Desperate to fix myself when there is nothing broken Grasping at pieces to make whole what was never shattered in the first place I have created an illusion for myself to live with my trauma and try to label what makes me different But I am slowly realizing that trauma does not define me And my differences are what make me unique What give me the power to view the world the way I do What will enable me to change the broken world around me and finally allow myself a sense of peace Some may say that I am selfish, to want to fix others but to never acknowledge my own flaws This is not me saying I am perfect, but instead me finally giving myself closure from the wounds inflicted upon me by others... and by my self No longer need I patch myself up and play the role designed by those trying to mold me into what they think I should be No more do I daydream about the ways I could love you but never be loved in return For the first time, I am free
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Nov 3, 2021
Nov 3, 2021 at 1:38 PM UTC
Free
I was gagging on poetry And nothing could help: I was gagging on poetry So they let me lay my head On Emily's desk And her inkwell spilled. I was gagging on poetry And they covered me up With Whitman's army blanket On which I promptly threw up. I was gagging on poetry And the Poet Laureate Sent me a get well bouquet Of forget me knots. I was gagging on poetry And all my poems Kept getting rejected For Selective Service. I was gagging on poetry And they performed The Heimlich maneuver And up came Twelve autobiographical Sketches of poets Thirteen anthologies Three missing manuscripts Two thesaurus books One rhyming dictionary And my good luck eraser.
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Mar 10, 2010
Mar 10, 2010 at 5:56 PM UTC
I Was Gagging on Poetry
Minor Key I Let me enjoy the earth no less Because the all-enacting Might That fashioned forth its loveliness Had other aims than my delight. II About my path there flits a Fair, Who throws me not a word or sign; I’ll charm me with her ignoring air, And laud the lips not meant for mine. III From manuscripts of moving song Inspired by scenes and dreams unknown I’ll pour out raptures that belong To others, as they were my own. IV And some day hence, towards Paradise And all its blest—if such should be— I will lift glad, afar-off eyes Though it contain no place for me.
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1.3k
Let Me Enjoy
The night is speaking like a cascade. She’s knitting filigreed lights and shadows. Sunk in the deep sea of Sargasso eyes I stay quiet and don’t find words. And the scars on your hand are fading, in order to burn in my heart. Oh, sailboats after a long trip with all the winds in the sails – sand is calling you. But it isn’t death! Oh, it isn’t the end too! The hand is going to knock up a hut for you and in the wide garden it smells with magnolia and manuscripts… And I am a sign The original: Нощта говори като водоскок Нощта говори като водоскок. Преплита филиграрно светлини и сенки. Потънал във дълбокото море на сарагасови очи мълча и не намирам думи. И белезите на ръката ти се губят, за да горят във моето сърце. О, платноходи след дългото пътуване със всички ветрове в платната – зове ви пясък. Но не е смърт! О, това не е и краят! Ръката ще ви скове на дом и във широката градина ухае на магнолии и на ръкописи… И аз съм знак. Translator Bulgarian-English: Vessislava Savova rarebird © bogpan - all rights reserved.
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Nov 29, 2010
Nov 29, 2010 at 10:14 PM UTC
***(The Night Is Speaking like a Cascade)