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"mangled" poems
Unclasp your fingers Your clenched fists And know the release of Giving in Let him drift away Let the ocean stand between you As a testament To the vast expanse That exists there now. Stop fighting the waves. Stop braving the icy waters Arm over arm To reach him on the other side. The water will always win. And you never were much of a swimmer. He's just a distant island now Shrouded in fog Somewhere over the horizon. Rest now, The fight is over. Your mangled, frantic heart Can slow And begin another tempo When it's no longer bleeding over An unreachable coastline.
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Oct 19, 2015
Oct 19, 2015 at 4:51 PM UTC
Letting Go isn't the Same as Giving Up.
As I walk down my driveway, past the seemingly endless field of green, sprinkled with little purple weeds, dotted with clumps of yellow daffodils, I think about how much I love flowers. Roses are my favorites, but daisies and wildflowers are a close second, I think. I like to think of myself as a flower. Maybe I’m a wildflower . . . It would make sense, seeing as my spirit is as free as the wind that blows the petals across the fields of green. I am a wildflower. I am the flower, firmly rooted to the ground, unable to escape. My roots, they are tangled, and mangled, and torn, and broken, but strong . . . they refuse to move. Like chains, they keep me here where the seed was planted. I am a wildflower, trapped in a garden of weeds . . . none of them wildflowers. We are not meant for the garden. Oh no! Not when there are fields, and pastures, and valleys, and hills, and mountains out there. Here in the garden, we get food and water, and daily care. But there in the world! That is where I am meant to be! When I see the birds flying overhead I shake with jealousy. I feel the wind swaying me back and forth, as if it is calling me. “Come with me, oh sweet wildflower. Let the world see your beauty, while you see the beauty of the world.” I want to touch the mountains. I want to sing with the sky. I want to hear the wind saying, “Look, I told you it was beautiful.” I want to dance with it, as it carries me everywhere.
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Mar 25, 2013
Mar 25, 2013 at 12:23 PM UTC
Wildflower
im a self describing a self a face on a liquid surface a plasticity a brain a three pound infinity always remodeling itself and making new copies a copy of a copy of a copy a massive  accumulation of copies each a slight distortion from it's original eminence a history of minute alterations all subtle deceptions my so-called reality a memory of a memory of a memory a repetition pouring the self out self corrupting the self until it is somebody else a fibbing shifty double-dealing soft machine trying to remain intact it's signature a disjunctured awareness my cells talk **** about each other i'm more microbes than human every synaptic light of the divine casting a shadowed past a devil to the true origin a mangled remembering my pillar of reality spirit from matter not the other way around i no longer recognize myself am i human or perhaps a robot an alien a walk in that left the original inhabitant disembodied to wander perplexed in a netherworld lost and crying or, just a bad copy of a copy of a copy of a co py of a a co
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Aug 11, 2018
Aug 11, 2018 at 2:46 PM UTC
*Copycat
Lay with me you may Play in May you may Understand me better If you listen closelay I will tongue tie the slighest guy With word play so fly it make you pay Past by then it makes you wonder why Like makers mark get set to start Play your position and I play my part You used your body to touch my soul I used my hands to touch your heart two mangled hearts Tangled in the dark Searching for understanding Playing the role of a mark
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Jan 23, 2018
Jan 23, 2018 at 11:09 PM UTC
Mark
Maybe time will work at me Like a mango. Softer and softer, full to bursting, I just want to bloom. To burst and explode, And then be done, and rest. Bruised, perhaps. Soft, sweet. Maybe I will mellow. Maybe I will lose the shine of being stretched over all my insides, All the swimming flavor, Veined together, contained and fibrous. Maybe the stem will snap at last, And I will hit the earth, mangled. Juices ****** away, Soaked into the ground that split me.
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May 25, 2012
May 25, 2012 at 11:04 AM UTC
Mango
It's a wide open art, from the start. Rules are for schools. Dont fret em, forget em. So Relax with a syntax, clown around, with a pronoun. Squeeze the ****** of a dangling participle. Free flying like geese, creative words release, make it up if you please. Example--the plural of mice is meese. Flowery language isn't the exclusive domain of the professional writer, it's for everyone! To continue then, about the writers pen. No write or wrong, nothings too short or long. Mangled, bungled, butchered, bumbled, don't matter. We don't need a librarian to admire what we have done. Words aren't hard, fling them unbarred. It's not arithmetic, or teaching a cat a trick. Crunch them uniting, mix them combining. Fling them, meld them, Verb them, sell them. We don't need a New York Times best seller to enjoy the art of writing. Uncrate it, create it. Use it, and abuse it. Don't bar us from a thesaurus Or a dictionary. The spiel is to write real tell the tale seal the deal. WORD HATERS live in the town called Fictionary.
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Sep 6, 2018
Sep 6, 2018 at 12:53 PM UTC
Writing with words. Fling them around if you will.
Later at the same address A storm of words reaches flood stage A couch is bobbing in the currents towards its mangled ruin-nexus of matchsticks in cyclonic flow among the renegade trash hanging from the limbs like tinsel Meanwhile chair heaved through her door Like the river I am not above my rage at this stage of more than enough.... Clever daughter's got my goat Turns my words on dimes Lays into me her score of blame Each blow to drop me further presses all my buttons at one time despite the flashing Warning! Warning! “Fine! Fine!” She blows-out through the afternoon right past me in a torrent of curses A stubborn perfect storm of words has taken out parental dam and blown out toward the Bay of Freedom to the sorrows of her day The river may crack its whip But its got nothing on her nothing is left standing in her way
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Jun 6, 2018
Jun 6, 2018 at 9:24 PM UTC
Flood Stage
I talk words of lust with a boy unaware I know not if it's unjust if he knew that i would dare To be touching lips with another and another after that 3 boys who want me and on top of that... an ex-lover who awaits her love to be reciprocated by one she had wronged by me, yes, I she has wronged. and alas, the sister of a friend whom i am confused upon if i should love her or not fool, you may think that she is the last one another girl at school she is but a year older i see her from time to time rarely i seek for her she is but a crush the sister, but a dream the ex-lover - such a waste and though it may seem that i am an adultress because of all these men but judge me not i don't belong to any of them commit, you say it is for the best but if i do so again i may have to rip out my chest it hurts beyond words and the pain - i may not be able to bare and i'd have to swallow the hurt again till i am too numb to give a care so tell me, kind stranger, what would you do? if you had 3 boys and 1 girl loving you another girl, you might love and another girl, as a crush don't you think it's a tad bit too much? though, i can't control it I need to be reassured that though my love betrayed me this broken vessel be cured by something more real it has to exist something i wont be afraid to love something far greater than a kiss something others cant take from me something thats just mine something that i can have and keep for all time so tell me, kind stranger, do you take me for a fool? you think i don't know that such thing is hard to find? that it is but impossible because i am still so blind i'll find my happiness i pray to the gods i do but only once i stop thinking of finding it is when id find you you. whom i have poured my heart and soul out to without giving a rat's *** one i'm not afraid of - i'm afraid of everything. you, who is not wearing a mask. if you tell me that you're right there id lose all faith in man kind because i know you're not i know that now. if you tell me you wont hurt me don't say another word because i know you will hurt me i know that now. but i can love myself i can live for myself, too i know that now i don't exactly have to live for you. it is my life this is my world but i'm lonely because i'm too scared to be that broken hearted girl the one who cried the one who swore and hit her lover and walked out the door even if i could i wouldn't change a thing because through this mangled heart i can love true again someday..
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Nov 9, 2012
Nov 9, 2012 at 10:31 PM UTC
Someday
I talk words of lust with a boy unaware I know not if it's unjust if he knew that i would dare To be touching lips with another and another after that 3 boys who want me and on top of that... an ex-lover who awaits her love to be reciprocated by one she had wronged by me, yes, I she has wronged. and alas, the sister of a friend whom i am confused upon if i should love her or not fool, you may think that she is the last one another girl at school she is but a year older i see her from time to time rarely i seek for her she is but a crush the sister, but a dream the ex-lover - such a waste and though it may seem that i am an adultress because of all these men but judge me not i don't belong to any of them commit, you say it is for the best but if i do so again i may have to rip out my chest it hurts beyond words and the pain - i may not be able to bare and i'd have to swallow the hurt again till i am too numb to give a care so tell me, kind stranger, what would you do? if you had 3 boys and 1 girl loving you another girl, you might love and another girl, as a crush don't you think it's a tad bit too much? though, i can't control it I need to be reassured that though my love betrayed me this broken vessel be cured by something more real it has to exist something i wont be afraid to love something far greater than a kiss something others cant take from me something thats just mine something that i can have and keep for all time so tell me, kind stranger, do you take me for a fool? you think i don't know that such thing is hard to find? that it is but impossible because i am still so blind i'll find my happiness i pray to the gods i do but only once i stop thinking of finding it is when id find you you. whom i have poured my heart and soul out to without giving a rat's *** one i'm not afraid of - i'm afraid of everything. you, who is not wearing a mask. if you tell me that you're right there id lose all faith in man kind because i know you're not i know that now. if you tell me you wont hurt me don't say another word because i know you will hurt me i know that now. but i can love myself i can live for myself, too i know that now i don't exactly have to live for you. it is my life this is my world but i'm lonely because i'm too scared to be that broken hearted girl the one who cried the one who swore and hit her lover and walked out the door even if i could i wouldn't change a thing because through this mangled heart i can love true again someday..
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Elephant in the room, shoo the hell away! Don't stick around; I wish you wouldn't stay Don't mess with my head, inciting all I feel I don't need you here, I want to heal Stop blaring in my ears, your noxious lies I'm sick to the stomach with my pathetic cries Resist flapping your gigantic ears They simply just fan the rage in my tears Quit blocking my view with your sheer enormity Get out of my thoughts so better I could see Halt your incessant skin rubbing against my sores Chafing me raw on top of my existing scores Pull out your pointy tusks, they poke and jab I'm bent in many places; I don't need more stabs Take your infernal rear out of my face! I'm self-destructing, counting up the days Cease your retaliation, leave with no protest Go find and sit yourself in someone else's nest Drop your intentions to stomp me broken I'm mangled enough; almost misshapen End this mindless rampage...please Let me iron myself straight, in peace... Dear elephant, have you gone? Thank you for the blight of my time, you've spawned
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Sep 17, 2014
Sep 17, 2014 at 10:16 PM UTC
Elephant
I bought myself a kite to fly I tossed it up and ran around I tried to pull it through the sky But found it just dragged on the ground. It landed in the mud, it was mangled, it was done And thus concludes the tragic tale of the kite I numbered one. My second kite was different. It caught a mighty gale I flew it well, then let it go And in the end I failed. It joined released balloons and leaves, whatever else is there In the ***** lonely cloudland in the out-of-picture air. I still had hope and so I bought My final silken bird I told myself that I would soon Unleash it to the word. The kite's debut date got pushed back and further back until It found a final resting place untested in its skill. I bought myself three kites to fly The first two meet ill fates The third one has a dusty shelf Where it keeps very safe.
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Sep 13, 2018
Sep 13, 2018 at 10:34 PM UTC
Tales of Three Kites
(This poem doesn't belong to me. The rightful owner is the author Darren Shan who wrote the Demonata and the Cirque du Freak book series. This poem is from his first book of the Demonata book series: Lord Loss.) Lord loss sows all the sorrows of the world, lord loss seeds the grief starched trees In the center of the web lowly lord loss bows his head Mangled hands, naked eyes Fanged snakes his soul line Curled inside like texture sin ****** curdle sheets for skin In the center of the web vile lord loss torments the dead Over strands of red, lord loss crawls Dispensing pain, despising all Shuns friends, nurtures foes Ravages hope, breeds woe Drinks moons, devours suns Twirls his thumbs till the reaper comes In the center of the web Lush Lord Loss is all that is left.
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Jan 30, 2014
Jan 30, 2014 at 12:19 PM UTC
Lord Loss
what do you call that feeling when youre cold and you go outside into the warm sun? when you finally lay in bed after a long day? when you hear an old song and you still remember all the words? i go back to the day when i felt like it would be my last when i thought i would stop breathing until you dragged me out of the ocean- coughing out what was left of my heart cut up little ****** pieces mangled by a love i thought i deserved and ridiculously, i felt hope it was the first time i realized that the waves weren't such a bad thing and if i went with them i would get to a place better than where they took me from you are my warm sun you are my bed you are the song stuck in my head
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Oct 17, 2014
Oct 17, 2014 at 2:26 PM UTC
waves
The fault of our reality is not written in our stars And it will not dance across unfavorable constellations, Or dissolve into inconsolable fragments. The fault, my love, is not written in our stars. It is written in ourselves. But how fortunate would it be? To cast the providence of our unlucky affairs Into the gloomy twilight, Where the sky is so unilluminated That we could close our restful eyes And fathom a world where it does not exist? But the fault, my love, is not written in our stars. It is written in ourselves. We are heavily folded sheets of stationary: A collection of utterances Bound into melancholy novels By our mangled hearts, And though spoken words Still fall onto my turning pages As tears do fall from my reddened cheeks, I have yet to forget The chapter you have left unwritten, Because an unwritten chapter is one to be adorned: It cannot end For it does not exist. And so we fumble through an amorous affliction, Fabricated into a bittersweet infinity. And at midnight, When my restless fingers ***** the empty air for you, And the reality of our desolate fault Seeps into my hands, I wish you were here. But the fault, my love, is not written in our stars. It is written in ourselves. j.s.
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Dec 16, 2014
Dec 16, 2014 at 3:28 AM UTC
The Fault in Our Stars
you are eighteen and you're in love with a boy who hates his birthday. you don't know it yet, but the world gets so much bigger than the back of his car. you think he needs you to be happy and so does he but both of you are wrong. it'll take you almost a year to stop crying. and then you don't talk for another three and when you finally do, he thinks he still knows you, but your heart is heavier than it was then. and you **** him because you're lonely but it isn't the same. neither of you can fake love. at least he still makes you laugh. you'll pretend it's enough because at least he's a body. at least you're not by yourself. at least you're alive and you're good at ******* because bodies are distractions from the things we hide inside them. you have him inside you and he wants to gut you of your ugly, your sad. he scrambles for an excuse not to stay the night and you laugh. you know what this is and how it goes and you both love someone else. you swear you won't **** him again but you do anyway because you're still lonely and you like the way his hands fit around your neck. you **** him because it's good for your art and you get bored of your own hands on your body and you're fine with letting him feel useful. and you think about when you were sixteen and how *** was supposed to be special and it makes you cry because you're not who you wanted to be. it makes you cry, because the world got so much bigger after you left the backseat of his car. the world is so big and you don't know how it ended up on your shoulders. you would have died for him. you have been ready to die for every person you have ever loved. you have dreams where he dies and you can't save him. you have dreams where people die and you can't save them and you're the one who tied your hands. your mangled heart and all its bleeding. nobody asked you to die. what good is all the love in your chest if you don't leave any for yourself? - m.f.
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Sep 7, 2015
Sep 7, 2015 at 11:37 PM UTC
teenage dream
you are eighteen and you're in love with a boy who hates his birthday. you don't know it yet, but the world gets so much bigger than the back of his car. you think he needs you to be happy and so does he but both of you are wrong. it'll take you almost a year to stop crying. and then you don't talk for another three and when you finally do, he thinks he still knows you, but your heart is heavier than it was then. and you **** him because you're lonely but it isn't the same. neither of you can fake love. at least he still makes you laugh. you'll pretend it's enough because at least he's a body. at least you're not by yourself. at least you're alive and you're good at ******* because bodies are distractions from the things we hide inside them. you have him inside you and he wants to gut you of your ugly, your sad. he scrambles for an excuse not to stay the night and you laugh. you know what this is and how it goes and you both love someone else. you swear you won't **** him again but you do anyway because you're still lonely and you like the way his hands fit around your neck. you **** him because it's good for your art and you get bored of your own hands on your body and you're fine with letting him feel useful. and you think about when you were sixteen and how *** was supposed to be special and it makes you cry because you're not who you wanted to be. it makes you cry, because the world got so much bigger after you left the backseat of his car. the world is so big and you don't know how it ended up on your shoulders. you would have died for him. you have been ready to die for every person you have ever loved. you have dreams where he dies and you can't save him. you have dreams where people die and you can't save them and you're the one who tied your hands. your mangled heart and all its bleeding. nobody asked you to die. what good is all the love in your chest if you don't leave any for yourself? - m.f.
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54
Do you see these nails that are bitten and torn to shreds. Do you see my hair that is mangled and tangled, it hasn't been washed in days. Do you see this acne on my face, I pick at it till it leaves scars. Do you see the clothes I'm wearing, I bet I haven't changed them in weeks. Do you see this room, I haven't cleaned it in months Do you see my teeth, they bleed because I haven't brushed them in awhile. Do you see I go on binges of eating or not eating, cause I feel guilty. Do you see I go on benders if drinking or smoking. Do you see my eyes and face are red from crying recently. Do you see my texts I never send cause you wouldn't care. Do you see when I say "I'm ok", "I'm fine" that those are just lies. Do you see my smile and laugh, it's mostly fake.   Do you see how I sleep all day and wake up and go right back to bed. You don't see but you should. This list could go on for infinitely. It's signs like this that should be noticed. Depression, anxiety or any mental illness is important for learning the signs. Your story matters just as well as your voice.
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Aug 9, 2018
Aug 9, 2018 at 5:24 PM UTC
Notice anything
You act callously crude Like Cronenberg's brood You keep the body horror In the naughty drawer I feel my body's poorer So you convince me I'm rich Then treat me like an itch And scratch To detach You invited me to your chateau Then left me on this plateau For my beating heart exploded from my chest Once I foolishly entered your nasty nest There I lay As immobile prey My body was infected By your touch And my mind dissected Way too much You passionately present me with body horror I really resent you for being a shoddy sawyer Cutting me down but not completely Your lackluster love travels obliquely Dislocating my horrified heart My rib cage begins to part As my mangled love Escapes with my blood My fingers are breaking Trying to carry the relationship Happiness I'm faking When you crack your elation whip When I'm powerless to the ***** I become showerless in a hurry And my skin starts to rot While I lie on your cold cot You're my unforgiving cop And the horrors never stop
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Oct 31, 2017
Oct 31, 2017 at 1:15 PM UTC
Body Horror
I knew a dangerous man. You wouldn't know what he was. But I could see the tight clench of broken fists. The ****** tape carelessly wrapped around the bleeding breaks in his hardened knuckles. A murderers kiss is a rush. It is a pool of water so hot it feels cold. When was the last time you kissed someone so passionately it caused your hair to stand on end? It caused a chill down your spine- quick and ruthless. I wasn't scared of dark eyes or dark mouths or dark hearts. I wasn't scared of a bullet or a gun or an ****** that starts with a rope and a whip and ends with bruises and my body pressing into broken drywall. I smile at the danger in the threat. Our intensity crumbled our surroundings. We were the flash. The flame. He was the thrill, I was the ****** Have you ever wondered what hell was like? People don't speak of the days they spend there. They don't talk about the tortured memories that keep them awake. A smoky afternoon and broken glass. Cigarettes flung out the window with your decency. Mangled innocence is okay as long as you keep it contained enough to sweep out of the room after you're done. Eyes like a black hole. Shaking desires. And when he says beg, you close your eyes and feel the fire. Have you ever loved a wild man? Have you made him moan in the dead of night? Have you ever been a pane of glass? Have you ever had a brick thrown through you and been alright? Have you ever known a bleeding devil and made his bed your home? Have you licked his blood and tasted your doom?
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Nov 29, 2015
Nov 29, 2015 at 2:04 PM UTC
Eight Questions.
I knew a dangerous man. You wouldn't know what he was. But I could see the tight clench of broken fists. The ****** tape carelessly wrapped around the bleeding breaks in his hardened knuckles. A murderers kiss is a rush. It is a pool of water so hot it feels cold. When was the last time you kissed someone so passionately it caused your hair to stand on end? It caused a chill down your spine- quick and ruthless. I wasn't scared of dark eyes or dark mouths or dark hearts. I wasn't scared of a bullet or a gun or an ****** that starts with a rope and a whip and ends with bruises and my body pressing into broken drywall. I smile at the danger in the threat. Our intensity crumbled our surroundings. We were the flash. The flame. He was the thrill, I was the ****** Have you ever wondered what hell was like? People don't speak of the days they spend there. They don't talk about the tortured memories that keep them awake. A smoky afternoon and broken glass. Cigarettes flung out the window with your decency. Mangled innocence is okay as long as you keep it contained enough to sweep out of the room after you're done. Eyes like a black hole. Shaking desires. And when he says beg, you close your eyes and feel the fire. Have you ever loved a wild man? Have you made him moan in the dead of night? Have you ever been a pane of glass? Have you ever had a brick thrown through you and been alright? Have you ever known a bleeding devil and made his bed your home? Have you licked his blood and tasted your doom?
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33
Words are often left unspoken amongst the mangled and the broken words can heal, but instead silence while we tolerate the violence on our bodies/ in our minds a tangled web, we dare not unwind to ourselves -and one another - we've been unkind, though we are lovers. Ponder this questionable existence where there is an abundance of resistance to be ourselves and feel the love constantly searching for a reason above instead of reaching out and extending our hand to our neighbor, our brother, "some kids in a van" It's funny how we land here in this position abandoning our families and breaking tradition to learn about the world and the way that it works some people have kinds souls and others are just jerks One day you ask an old man "Sir, may I have a dollar? I just want some food, maybe a water." His reaction could be harmful, harsh, judgemental the skill that needs building is very fundamental "You'll spend it on drugs! Get out of my face!" Discouraging words spoken of the human race, "Sir may I have a dollar or some food? Maybe water" Another man approaches as he walks with his daughter... The daughter tugs this man and she slips him some change How smart the children are.. Isn't it strange? with one small glance of the smile in this exchange the man understood, the answer was plain. Now you have a dollar, although not enough for food, inside you feel a warmth and a change in your mood. The youth can inspire every second, every day by giving out love hoping that the idea will stay. "Some kids in a van" were once your sons and daughters when people realize this, they seem to have a few more dollars words are often left unspoken each and every day- If you extended your heart and hand, that pain is sure to run astray.
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Dec 4, 2016
Dec 4, 2016 at 10:20 PM UTC
"Kids in a Van"
Words are often left unspoken amongst the mangled and the broken words can heal, but instead silence while we tolerate the violence on our bodies/ in our minds a tangled web, we dare not unwind to ourselves -and one another - we've been unkind, though we are lovers. Ponder this questionable existence where there is an abundance of resistance to be ourselves and feel the love constantly searching for a reason above instead of reaching out and extending our hand to our neighbor, our brother, "some kids in a van" It's funny how we land here in this position abandoning our families and breaking tradition to learn about the world and the way that it works some people have kinds souls and others are just jerks One day you ask an old man "Sir, may I have a dollar? I just want some food, maybe a water." His reaction could be harmful, harsh, judgemental the skill that needs building is very fundamental "You'll spend it on drugs! Get out of my face!" Discouraging words spoken of the human race, "Sir may I have a dollar or some food? Maybe water" Another man approaches as he walks with his daughter... The daughter tugs this man and she slips him some change How smart the children are.. Isn't it strange? with one small glance of the smile in this exchange the man understood, the answer was plain. Now you have a dollar, although not enough for food, inside you feel a warmth and a change in your mood. The youth can inspire every second, every day by giving out love hoping that the idea will stay. "Some kids in a van" were once your sons and daughters when people realize this, they seem to have a few more dollars words are often left unspoken each and every day- If you extended your heart and hand, that pain is sure to run astray.
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46
The reason why I apologize So profusely over the tiniest of things Is because I always feel as though I am a bother and annoyance so I want the person to be aware that I am truly sorry for the mishap I may have brought about or the wrong words that may have come out of my mouth Because in the past I had to apologize again and again A million sorries I must have said Just to get the point across Just to assuage the anger I unintentionally caused I apologize repeatedly Because I fear not being taken seriously When I say sorry I mean it with all of my heart I apologize even when people say I am not at fault Because in the past I was always the one guilty I was always in the wrong Because when that rage came up and rolled along It rolled right over me And so I said sorry I said sorry to the steamroller for being in its way And for the broken bones and bruises on my heart that I carried for days I apologize for apologizing Because I know I must sound so repetitive and annoying But I feel as though I can't apologize enough To make up for and cover up Whatever sin I may have committed against the one I am apologizing to Because when you say it’s okay I always fear it’s not true Because in the past those hiccups and bumps That weren't even my fault were held against me for months No matter the amount of times I said sorry and meant it And the number of times I tried to fix The mangled mess that wasn't mine but that I was still apologizing for It was like going to war But I waged it and gave my best effort To stitch and sew up the jagged cuts Of long angry nights and an alcohol filled gut But failed and then apologized when the seams ripped and tore Because no matter what I did was going to restore What used to be Or repair the damage that happened before me And so I am sorry for that That I couldn't make it better because I lacked Whatever it was you were looking for But that constant state of feeling guilty is what sent me out the door And I am free of that weight now But I still feel the need to say sorry for every little mistake now Thanks to you I sound like a record stuck on repeat So I’m sorry that I say sorry too much But I never know when enough sorries are enough
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Jan 21, 2018
Jan 21, 2018 at 2:08 PM UTC
An Apology for Apologizing
The reason why I apologize So profusely over the tiniest of things Is because I always feel as though I am a bother and annoyance so I want the person to be aware that I am truly sorry for the mishap I may have brought about or the wrong words that may have come out of my mouth Because in the past I had to apologize again and again A million sorries I must have said Just to get the point across Just to assuage the anger I unintentionally caused I apologize repeatedly Because I fear not being taken seriously When I say sorry I mean it with all of my heart I apologize even when people say I am not at fault Because in the past I was always the one guilty I was always in the wrong Because when that rage came up and rolled along It rolled right over me And so I said sorry I said sorry to the steamroller for being in its way And for the broken bones and bruises on my heart that I carried for days I apologize for apologizing Because I know I must sound so repetitive and annoying But I feel as though I can't apologize enough To make up for and cover up Whatever sin I may have committed against the one I am apologizing to Because when you say it’s okay I always fear it’s not true Because in the past those hiccups and bumps That weren't even my fault were held against me for months No matter the amount of times I said sorry and meant it And the number of times I tried to fix The mangled mess that wasn't mine but that I was still apologizing for It was like going to war But I waged it and gave my best effort To stitch and sew up the jagged cuts Of long angry nights and an alcohol filled gut But failed and then apologized when the seams ripped and tore Because no matter what I did was going to restore What used to be Or repair the damage that happened before me And so I am sorry for that That I couldn't make it better because I lacked Whatever it was you were looking for But that constant state of feeling guilty is what sent me out the door And I am free of that weight now But I still feel the need to say sorry for every little mistake now Thanks to you I sound like a record stuck on repeat So I’m sorry that I say sorry too much But I never know when enough sorries are enough
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*hitherto i naively challenged my decision to enter an ominous existence a vicious maze veiled in obscurity inconceivable to navigate without the accumulation of bruises, heartache, and psychic mutilation the torment’s ache so unfathomable i begged to evaporate beseeching death’s arrival and with the dexterity of a masterful wizard i magically spun threads of my shredded soul into a mangled ball of mental lacerations then stealthily in the opaque of the night i rushed the frigid black ocean’s high tide and deluging myself in the ebony water i buried the battered ball now deeply eclipsed in the onyx abyss it sapped all my strength to hold it under drowning in the wave’s of sea motion stinging salt alive on my pours gasping for air i surrendered my grip releasing my marred orb of élan vital capitulating to the sand on the beach i ceded the fight and watched the sphere roll unraveling it glistened against the white sand an opalescent tapestry lit by twilight mirroring the stars against the coal sky in the lustrous lunar midnight reflected back by silver moonlight littered with specks of fluorescent insight astonished i drew in my breath as i read words interlaced in the untangled web the wounds are there creating a looking glass peer in and you will heal your own consciousness ©2016janetaylor
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May 3, 2016
May 3, 2016 at 8:06 AM UTC
looking glass
Her heart was warm Knifed cuts bled shivering blood outside in But her heart whispered screams warm. Your fingertips warm, softly etched words in a language unknown Confusion sat upon a throne and ordered darkness her heart a home Yet her heart fought on, still warm. Seasons blurred by in sunsets warm, her hands may have been cold Her story silently untold as fury shook her hands But her heart was always warm. Coldness hid the light of a muddy warm Tangled words told and mangled thoughts sliced skin Morose shadows truth and her heart is still warm. Forgiveness feels sunshine fall lightly on two worlds making it warm Your fingertips no longer touch her heart But sit quietly upon her fingertips, palm to palm Her hands are warm.
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Apr 2, 2014
Apr 2, 2014 at 10:15 PM UTC
Warm
what victory is it, when he is not beside me in soft flesh but mangled fur the world will rise and fall always in a turmoil those who seek to destroy minds will stay living after dead celebrate for now, if you must already a new danger approches He was not the first to try He was the only i've loved.
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Mar 29, 2016
Mar 29, 2016 at 6:35 PM UTC
victory
Among the market greens, a bullet from the ocean depths, a swimming projectile, I saw you, dead. All around you were lettuces, sea foam of the earth, carrots, grapes, but of the ocean truth, of the unknown, of the unfathomable shadow, the depths of the sea, the abyss, only you had survived, a pitch-black, varnished witness to deepest night. Only you, well-aimed dark bullet from the abyss, mangled at one tip, but constantly reborn, at anchor in the current, winged fins windmilling in the swift flight of the marine shadow, a mourning arrow, dart of the sea, olive, oily fish. I saw you dead, a deceased king of my own ocean, green assault, silver submarine fir, seed of seaquakes, now only dead remains, yet in all the market yours was the only purposeful form amid the bewildering rout of nature; amid the fragile greens you were a solitary ship, armed among the vegetables, fin and prow black and oiled, as if you were still the vessel of the wind, the one and only pure ocean machine: unflawed, navigating the waters of death.
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5.4k
Ode To a Large Tuna in the Market
The dough in the pizza pan Becomes my heart. And with my hand, my fist, I strike it and flatten it. I force it to change, Plaster it into limp pancake. With my palm I knead it, But the pain which should ebb out, Will not separate and flow away. It stays inside the dough, The flattened, Moulded, Hand-mangled dough!
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Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 5:40 PM UTC
REBELLIOUS DOUGH!
Little shards of paper that haunt my passing mood, I see it's true, it's dead alright, some decade withered feud. And yet the paper scrawled and mangled spells a definite end for thee, and as I look between those lines, freedom, there'll be, for me.
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Jul 27, 2014
Jul 27, 2014 at 8:33 AM UTC
Freedom