a bitter exhaustion grips you by the throat
fear languishes your bones like lead upon your skin
a dark cave dripping numb from within
do i dare to look up again?
do i dare to give my heart as the bargain?
are you gonna break my fall,
or will you tell me you can't handle this all?
i dont want to start new anymore than you
for loving, feels like the flu
but maybe you’re the vaccine
ill take a shot of you, hoping then i would feel brand new
tell me, do you feel like this too?
Jan 12, 2023
Jan 12, 2023 at 3:33 AM UTC
There’s watercolor clouds on your cheeks
Won’t you, Wash your color
On over me, over me
Seems I’m fallin so fast
I can’t land on my feet, feet
My heart so swelled up
I can barely think, think
——
This hold you have over me
is something so different
Think that I’m catching feelings
Despite the distance
Oh, it feels just like magic
You got the Keys to my code
I’m a fanatic
Love all your angles
saved me like angel
And it feels just like magic
It feels just like magic.
Jan 12, 2023
Jan 12, 2023 at 3:27 AM UTC
Watch the sunrise
Fa
LL
Right into your brown eyes
so softly
Golden light
That St ri ke s me to my core
Drowning in your orbit
Here at sunset we meet again
Mi amor
Te amo
Like a
C O A T of armor
Your love envelopes me
Delivers me
from the wei
ght of trauma
Burdening, my soul
You ignite
Something, everything within me
It took light years
For you and i
To col——llllllide
right in this moment
Incessantly yours
Forever
Drowning in your orbit
Here at sunset we meet again
Jan 4, 2023
Jan 4, 2023 at 7:17 PM UTC
I miss the old me
Old old old old me
Young me
Full of life me
Still
Innocent me
Now I don’t like me
I let you take me
let you break me
I still can’t face it
I miss the old old old old me
Old me
Young me
Full of life me
Still
Innocent me
Now I got scars on me
Scars on my heart
Scars on my eyes
Scars on my brain me
What do I see?
I miss the old old old old me
Old me
Young me
Full of life me
Still
Innocent me
What do you see?
See I can’t see me
Too in the dark type
Never turn on the night light
Always assume the worst type
I miss the old me
old old old old me
Old me
Young me
Full of life me
Still
Innocent Me.
Jan 4, 2023
Jan 4, 2023 at 7:07 PM UTC
There is no heartbreak like the heartbreak from loving someone who you can’t fully express it to.
You’re stuck, hanging, dangling from a rope.
Your palms are torn apart from grasping the rope so tightly.
Your fingers, purple from your blood.
Your emotions, blaring loudly cascade over you in flash floods.
Everything around you seems to be falling apart.
And you’re praying the only person you feel that can make it fall back together doesn’t let go of the rope.
Because the cracks in the sidewalk will swallow you whole.
Swallow you over and over until you are dust settled atop tectonic plates.
Aug 6, 2018
Aug 6, 2018 at 10:59 PM UTC
I was just a temporary relief,
from the places you really wanted to be.
An escape,
but it never set you free.
It turned out to be a place,
that chained you and me.
Only it chained us separately,
confining you and me irreparably.
Jun 5, 2018
Jun 5, 2018 at 10:51 AM UTC
Waking consciousness only deepens the breadth of the sickening settling confusion that blossoms so heavily in thorny crowns around my hands so that they are pinned to my thighs like how beauty marks litter your skin from too much time spent in the sun. I spent too much time basking in your black hole confused about how the light wasn’t shining on me...instead my light was being ****** in. ****** from my veins so that eventually every inch of my body was decorated with black vestiges of the rivers that once flowed blindingly white. It’s been six months of half a year, and my body is still sectioned out in slippery squares that feel so impossible to stitch back together. How can I still drown in the valley of our broken love if the pitcher that filled it has crumbled into tiny grains of sand, that I cannot hold with my hands? Oh Lord, won’t you reconcile this desert that settled on my heart? Oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord. I want to be found. I want to be found. Can you hear all the sounds that ricochet like tennis ***** against the tennis court? Oh Lord. It’s deafening from down here.
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 1:29 PM UTC
Loving drugged me, so suddenly
I couldn’t tell if you made it rainy or sunny
But keep talking sweet like that, hunny.
Cause I’m tired and hungry
Feigning like a heartbroken ******
Loving drugged me, so suddenly
Now I’m a heartbroken ******
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018 at 6:23 PM UTC
She watched the shadows beneath his eyes
The way she would a sunrise
Pretending she wasn’t hypnotized
By how his smile fell across his cheeks
Feeling how it made her knees weak
He got lost in the shadows beneath her tree
Acted like he couldn’t really see
Pretending she was the one who could set him free
By how his smile fell across his cheeks
Feeling how it made his head silently shriek
She was deceived, he made her believe
And so she fell in love with someone who was in love with someone else
What’s worst of all, is that he half way pretended to break her fall
When in reality, he left her with nothing at all
Mar 8, 2018
Mar 8, 2018 at 11:53 AM UTC
I saw your flag stuck on the porch
I thought it was white
But the closer I looked the redder it appeared
I grasped it and blades sunk into my palms
Which was never what I feared
I knew from my palms my heart would bleed
Until there was nothing left inside of me
A casket, sealed so tight it set me free
Set me free to run wildly across the shattered rubble of glass that cut my knees
Set me free to scream at the bodies who caged me
Set me free to cry rivers, lakes and seas
Set me free until I’ve exhausted the universe inside of me
With broken hands and broken knees
I stared at you
Silently shouting please
Praying for a plea
Praying for you to set me free
Praying you could fix my knees
But I choked on my own fingers
Trying to understand everything that lingers
I wonder why white flags turn red
I wonder why my broken hands feel like lead
But then I remember that I chose this casket as my deathbed
It’s walls strung from forests full of wood, composed out of all the things you said
The melody falling loudly like gravity struck God in the head
And it was then, I understood
Because my white flag turned red
Mar 8, 2018
Mar 8, 2018 at 11:51 AM UTC