"mabye" poems
I read last Saturday in the
redwoods outside of Santa Cruz
and I was about 3/4's finished
when I heard a long high scream
and a quite attractive
young girl came running toward me
long gown & divine eyes of fire
and she leaped up on the stage
and screamed: "I WANT YOU!
I WANT YOU! TAKE ME! TAKE
ME!"
I told her, "look, get the hell
away from me."
but she kept tearing at my
clothing and throwing herself
at me.
"where were you," I
asked her, "when I was living
on one candy bar a day and
sending short stories to the
Atlantic Monthly?"
she grabbed my ***** and almost
twisted them off. her kisses
tasted like shitsoup.
2 women jumped up on the stage
and
carried her off into the
woods.
I could still hear her screams
as I began the next poem.
mabye, I thought, I should have
taken her on stage in front
of all those eyes.
but one can never be sure
whether it's good poetry or
bad acid.
4.8k
She's coughing blood
So i boil some water
Squeezed from the mud
Used for slaughter
Horrible cries
Coming to my ears
From where she lies
The girl in tears
What kind of power
does a powerless flower
have?
The power of showing its music to the deaf.
So mabye the wreaths,
Made from the levanders, round
Carry my breaths
Back to her lungs in the ground
Nov 3, 2015
Nov 3, 2015 at 12:59 PM UTC
I pulled that dusty shoebox
From underneath the bed ,
Letters we had written
On the day that we had wed.
We talked about forever
And promised to be true,
Youd be good to me
And id be good to you.
I read and re read those letters
Trembling , clamy hands
I was not this women,
And you are not this man.
Why does time make change ok,
Stop simple things we used to do.
The way youd show your love for me or
How id show my love for you.
You should always hold
My hand, and make me feel my best,
I should always be your rock,
We both just want respect.
Mabye we just need reminding
Of how it all began, to pick our battles better, and offer steady hands.
I tucked those letters safely
Into a book beside the bed ,
In that dusty shoebox
theyre not getting read .
Nov 25, 2013
Nov 25, 2013 at 11:33 PM UTC
The obscured room you lay in
as confined the things in your mind
with nothing but pitch black in sight
i wonder what people think about when they cant fall sleep at night
do you think about the fake smile you put on or the pain you still feel down to the bone
do you think about the the things they said or reason you always feel alone
everyone hides the scars they had tries to keep them silent
when they ask whats wrong we try to stay strong and remain quiet
do you think about what you mean to others whether if your cherished or just not worth the trouble
mabye one day my thoughts will reach the light
but what do you think of when you cant fall asleep at night
Sep 10, 2013
Sep 10, 2013 at 9:39 PM UTC
the feeling inside , i cannot describe not anger nor sadness , a certain kind of fustration. i am different in some strange way. feelings come and go yet this has stayed. All for a reason. never knowing why. for i am an embryo wating wanting coveting for the one day i will emerge into something beautiful. i wasnt always this way. the only way to save myself is they way ive avoided for all my life. please? hello? where are you? come here and save me. i cant resist you, its just not enough to say that i miss you. there is so much left to be said but i just might as well be better off dead. but ill stay alive and the reason why ill stare at the beautiful night sky it leave me breathless the same way you do , but ow could i covet somthing ive never had so badly. i am the laste spring blossom. while others bloom each in their beautiful ways shapes and forms i stay a bud. most wont pick it because its not a beautuiful flower but beauty is fleeting and one day while all the other flowers end there peak and whither away. i will thrive. thrive better than anyone elese ever way some day mabye one day baby. you will find out who i am.please? hello? where are you? some here and save me . there is so much more to be sead but i might as well be dead. i cant resist you , its not enough to say that i miss you. im not in denial this is my last trial to accept this bittersweet illusion from the moment we are born we slowly die. screaming at the thin door that seperates fact from fiction. its all just a dream. forever running in place it wont be fast enough. ive lost all controll but this path has taken a toll. ill figure this out all on my own. blurry eyes please look at the beautiful night sky. it wasnt always this way . someday mabye one day baby
May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 5:07 PM UTC
why does my shadow.. seem darker today
was it the weather ...sunny maybe grey
why did i feel that rain was tipping down
yet when i looked up.. blue skies all around
why did my mood ...swing from left to right
mabye im sorry for all what said last night
maybe im just sad... that all around seems dull
maybe the light has gone for good ..who knows
time i woke and breathed fresh air
time to put things right
time to plant some flowers and watch them grow ..thats right
time to raise ones eyebrow and crack a smile or too
time for new begining ...
join me be my crew
Mar 4, 2011
Mar 4, 2011 at 2:43 AM UTC
If only, if only...
If only you knew...
How much I care...
And how much I love you...
Your spot in my heart...
Is vast and wide...
Nothing can compare...
To this love I hold inside...
This love for you...
That I hold, is umatched...
And I know you love me too...
No one can understand...
That our love...
Can cover this land...
Mabye its just me...
Or maybe its just our love...
But to me your an angel...
Right from above...
God sent you down to me...
As a special gift...
Just for me, and for everyone to see...
I have u now only for me...
But I still lack to see...
If only if only...
If only I could see...
How much you care...
And how much you love me...
Jun 13, 2010
Jun 13, 2010 at 8:57 PM UTC
I
hate
goodbyes
they're so final
yet in conversations with friends
somehow it seems vital
Goodbye
we say it
no matter what the circumstance
but somehow i'm convinced
it's never truly final
Maybe a lover to his girl
on a long dark winter night
giving a "good-bye" kiss
Just doesn't seem right...
Or mabye its family
and it's finally time for you to fly
but for your final choice of words
you inevideably choose
"good-bye"
More likely than not
you've had to go
from the place that you've learned to love
but somehow you just know....
That good-bye just won't work
You see friendships you've made
and how they're suddenly
S CA T T ER E D
across the nations...
So, "I'll see you later" my dearest friends,
Sounds much more appropriate
because the journey's not nearly over---
and I couldn't do it without each of as my associates ;)
Jun 5, 2010
Jun 5, 2010 at 9:18 PM UTC
feelings
feel so cold, nothing seems real
feel like i used to feel
when the wheels in my head
stopped going forward
went backwards instead
so many things in my head
that shouldnt be there
shouldnt be anywhere
mabye inside the mind
of some poor ******* that couldnt find
his way through life
clawing, knawing, at his own bones
all the while thinking of home
mind wandering
like mine does all the time
quoting some line
from a film or a song
convincing yourself
thers some hidden meaning in it
for why your life died
and went so badly wrong
and turned to ****
feel so lonely, if only
someone could take my pain away
pain visited me such a long time ago
and stayed
feel lost, feel the cold frost of life
sending a chill down my spine
feel numb
feel like i want to strike out
at anyone and anything
feel like my body isnt even mine
stare past my window
far far away, eyes stray
eyes discuise, the person behind the mask
eyes lie
mask wears me like a second skin
mask hides the people that are within
my head
today my mask will be; don, dedus, donna
mabye someone else instead
feel frightened
feel like i just want to be held
in the arms of someone
that can keep me safe
keep me out of my own hell
thats in my confused mind
feel like my barbedwire thoughts
are so kind, feel blind
unable to see even me
feel like i wasnt conceived
unable to believe i even exist
in this manifestation
cold invitation
of an existance , that is my life
feel like i want my wife, to sort out my life
feel like i cant feel
feel like i want to strip the skin from my bones
feel like i want to go home
feel cold, so very cold, feel old
feel alone
Jun 5, 2014
Jun 5, 2014 at 3:08 PM UTC
Science explains life as a series of reactions.
Some are inevitable.
Some are just chance.
Science is supposed to be a explanation,
But somehow,
Impossibly,
Mabye just because I am me,
Science has failed me.
That day in 7th grade was just a fleeting feeling
Or so I thought.
A crush is just that.
A confusing, scattered mix of feelings, that normally,
Science could explain.
Dialated pupals,
Normal.
Fluttering heart?
Normal.
Flushed cheeks?
Still normal.
This is what science explains.
Perfect sense.
But what about what it can't explain.
This little fleeting feeling can
Turn a normally sane person into a aparent lunatic .
Turn a single word into what seems like a thousand buzzing
Coded messages.
Turn a slight stumble into a worldwide tumble.
That quiet little feeling,
That you told to just go away,
Has apparently decided instead
To just keep growing.
To defy rationality
To blurr the line between just a flutter
And the unknown.
Even after a year of starving that feeling,
And you think, its finally gone
With a mixture of
disapointment and relief.
Just to find out that it was hibernating
And ready to make a comeback.
Why
Do these things
That just start as just a little feeling
Defy science
And turn into what could be described as
Resiliant, controlling,
Exiting,
Odd little feelings turned creature
That seem to have minds of their own
And a twisted sense of humor.
Things that some might Call
the begginings of love.
One of the few,
Or perhaps many,
Things that are truly
undefineable.
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015 at 2:19 AM UTC
sometimes
-more times than it used to be
it feels like when you say goodnight
is an escape you use
to rip yourself away from me
but without causing any damage
because goodnight is sacred.
its sweet, its i love you.
its have a safe night.
sleep as much as you can
because sleep is nice and beautiful
and so are you.
goodnight
shouldnt make me feel so sad
its because you're leaving
and im not done
its because the minutes between your responses
are longer than they used to be
and the responses are shorter than they used to be
your one word is so small
and so not enough
i want more from you
do i want too much?
mabye you dont have enough to give.
do i always ask too much?
mabye you're just trying to live.
tell me the truth
in more than one word.
tell me the truth.
id hoped youd thought more of me
than to just pass by with an "im fine"
Jan 12, 2014
Jan 12, 2014 at 1:22 AM UTC
drowning
i am drowning
being slowly dragged under by the weight of my guilt
cosumed in my bed
as i lay warm inside my emotional quilt
it layers me like i layer myself
layer upon layer , upon layer , upon layer
my invisible angels watch over me
kneeling in prayer, to someone that isnt there
at the side of my bed
they are manifestations, pehaps halusinations
dreamed up inside my head
the reside on an even keel
with demons and the dead
am i a freckle on a pretty girls face
or mabye an obsolete number
that has no place
in this life or the next
am i a love letter, a text
perhaps the next phone call
to say the one you love
wont be comming home today
life demands he stays
under the car broken and twisted
soon to be listed
as just another dead brother, son, friend, father
to a little one
who will now have to rely on mum
as the important one
its getting late
as i lie here at night , full of fright
clinging to thoughts that are not right
but without them , i might , not make it
without devils and demons
to help me fake it, what does it leave
the cold touch of reality, shit
sludge shit thick and black
hanging on my back, breaking my spine
leaching off everything thats mine
**** comming out of my eyes, my ears
**** comming out of my mind, making me blind
to everything that makes sence
**** that builds a fence
to keep nice things away
at least for today
if i remove the mask
how long will the next one last
life demands so much
my masks cant keep up
have to wear a new one each day
smile politely and say, lying of course
i am really ok
then i turn and go back to my life of clay
moulding, folding this and that way
ptting on another face
to help me get through another day
Jun 5, 2014
Jun 5, 2014 at 3:30 PM UTC
I've never really belived in love,
well not being proposed to with, a ring and white dove
i mean how can something so nice
turn your fragile heart to ice
how can you be so certain yet have no evidential facts
mabye i'm just shallow but i'd rather have stacks
stacks of money here and there
as i know i do not love it but it fills a hole which lays bare
most people would argue but i do not care
i am not heartless nor try to dare
but i know that the place where something should be, there
needs to be fuflied by one thing, anything, everything...
Mar 11, 2015
Mar 11, 2015 at 6:55 PM UTC
laying in the sand
face first in the water
i see you in my sleep
mabye you'll be here tomorrow
the dephts are at my feet
to wash away my sorrow
the pressures crushing me
maybe your love will set me free
Go meet me at the shore
show there could be much more
the tide is rising as we sit down the pier
when your ready to leave this town the waves will and we will disapear
Sep 7, 2013
Sep 7, 2013 at 2:25 PM UTC
Tell me that you're not having second thoughts only now. You've said too much, you've shown how little I meant to you.
As you push me away, I accepted believing I wasn't deserving enough.
Yes, mabye I still am.
But as the angel flies, I'm left behind trying to purge a memory that refuses to leave me. Thrown into barbs, stuck in the mud, bruised and broken, I dusted off my wounds.
Torn and tattered, I tore myself free. I hear wing beats. I want to be deaf, I want to be blind, I don't want to feel. But deep down I do. I Truly do. It'll be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.
Oct 1, 2013
Oct 1, 2013 at 1:42 AM UTC
Understand that for me you were it
You were the one i wanted to be with
I gave you my heart i gave you my faith
You turned and walked away
I thought we were okay
I thought things were good
I guess i was wrong
Seeing you now
Is like a knife in the gut
I want to turn and run
If i do that you win
I know i did a lot of wrong
I know i hurt you and broke your heart
But we were doing okay
Until that day when you went away
I thought you were going to come back to me
Instead you left all your love for me
I miss you
And when i think of you
I get a lump in my throat
My heart starts racing
My stomach knots up
I just wish i could rid you from my mind
From my mind and from my heart
I wish i could cut you out and leave you behind
One cut would lead to another
Then i would just be in pieces
Its better to deal with you living in my heart
Maybe you will come back
Mabye you will never
But i will always remember what we had
There will be a part of me that always
And forever loves you
Loves you more then you could possibly understand
Mar 6, 2010
Mar 6, 2010 at 6:38 PM UTC
Pre-conceptions of me dont go away. Sympathy faded in the mist. Emotions anchored down in the abyss. Its hard to have faith in ones own beauty when I cant see. Especially when communication is riddiculed by paranoia. "why would they want to talk to me". "They think Im a freak and I deserve it". Irony, thrown into a ditch by myself. A chamber of cynical reflecion where I cant move. So, to deafen the hounds in my head. I use my hatred as a tool to suppress others protential. I make them disgusted with their own image. An excuse to project my flaws onto someone else. And feed the illusion that Im gods holy **** Keep that ego intact so I dont need to look at myself. And realise that mabye Im a bit of a ***** However, I still have faith in something beyond myself.
Love.
Love still leaves me exposed to natures soothing melody. Blends reality and dreams together to manifest paradise. Noone a stranger to its bilengual call. Everyone showered in its waterfall.
Thats why when I dance I long for it to be with others. Because If I'm alone is it real? That is why experience is meant to be shared. If noone is there, did it really happen?
Jun 4, 2018
Jun 4, 2018 at 9:12 AM UTC
Every single day
I feel so depressed
And the thought of it
Makes me want to stress
...Sinse there's nothing
In my life to make me
Feel this way...
...Then I wonder
Why I act like this
Every single day...
...Mabye the things
I think about
But don't want to say...
...Make me end up
Feeling this way...
Apr 8, 2014
Apr 8, 2014 at 12:03 PM UTC
Irony is a funny thing,
A poet who is at a loss for words.
Everyone always told me that if there was a problem, talk to them.
But how can you trust them with something so serious?
How do you even start a conversation like that?
"Hi mom and dad, I have anxiety attacks and cut myself and its just getting worse."
Yea no,
That's not how it works.
Maybe you just pull up your sleeve and show them the scars.
Nope
Mabye I try to show them that the person in the mirror isn't me.
How the hell do you do that?
You don't.
So I tried writing it down,
Then I tried to read it allowed,
But I lost the words again.
So I put it in a letter and sent that
It was the hardest letter I've ever written and will be for the rest of my life.
There may have been no words from my mouth, but that's when I found the words from my heart.
Jun 22, 2015
Jun 22, 2015 at 10:14 PM UTC
maybe i hate you, maybe i love you.
maybe i couldn’t have the courage to say this to you,
mabye this isn’t that deep.
maybe i love you
maybe i love you
maybe, you, could love me too.
but maybe, we may be together.
maybe, one day. but until then we could dream about each other.
Mar 23, 2019
Mar 23, 2019 at 11:21 AM UTC
something has a choke hold on my heart,
is it my past?
is the future?
mabye something supernatural?
whatever it is, it better show itself,
or just hurry up and **** me **** it!
I got **** to do, and I can't continue short of breath.
Jan 2, 2016
Jan 2, 2016 at 2:19 AM UTC
Today..
This sociol media site
Your on right now
It will shut down
Then were will you be?
Alone?
Or will you know how to contiue with out email and facebook?
Will you know how to walk over to someones house to get them or will you stay still in time? Will you freack out from lack of typeing or will you start running? This thing we call internet is just a allution covering all of todays problems. Its a way to avoid what needs to be looked at.
For example your kids or your classes? Or mabye your family.
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 12:28 AM UTC