Doves Flying,
Crying,
Dying,
In City Smog,
White Feathers Stained From Human Garbage,
Stained From Society's Words,
White Angels Turned Into Common Rock Doves,
Tears Rolling Down Their Cheeks,
Because They Know They're Lossing Themselves,
Doves Crying,
On The Statue Of Liberty,
Because They Know Freedom Isn't Free,
And They Know,
No One Is Truly Accepted,
Humans Ruthless,
Society Clueless,
Doves Released At Weddings Cry,
Because They Understand That,
The Bride And The Groom Will Both Be,
Heartbroken,
Doves Cry In The Streets,
And In The Sky's,
Wondering Why,
The World Took A Turn For The Worst

playing every little game getting your hoodie pulled up. messing around. playing ***** pranks tourching me. when i try running she is allways in  the corner following you day and night. im lossing my mind i cant escape her claws that dig slowly deeper as she poles me down to the empty grave.im losing my mind i might be going insaine to the biggest part of the deepest hell. what is left there aint no where to run or hid cause she always knows where my next location is. this psych ***** has taken my life in to her own paranoya game she smuthered me till i can scream no more. every road i cant take cause shell drag with my claws dragging behind. this ****** ***** is making me go insaine with lossing control tearing up the floor. theres no escape from her grasp i think this is the day i know she will end my life

im going to snap from the claw marks that left ripps down my back!!


how many times have i ran idk cause this ******* crap has no road to meaning. i am running from a ****** ***** who cant get her little crush off me.


no place ti hide no place to speak

**** **** **** i cant escap from my ****** ex girl
but there is allways light at the end of the tunnel with a chance to survive




her mom told me her wall is covered in pictures of me in her closet more and more pictures she took with her phone. i dont know how to escape to the next town cause she is a shadow with a messed up twist she has t shirts and pants and every thing with my picture and name on it.

when she is at school she hands out patitions to get us back to gather.

im gone mad less every thing is she cant let go of me cause she is only attrakted to the freaky **** of me  theres no escape AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

When im gone, and no longer there to hold you when you crying.Maybe then you'll realize that you was the one lying,  and im done! don't bother even  trying.Rain of pain tears are falling,  and my heart is cold  your love is calling?
so I hang up!
cause your full of it, no more love falling, cause im through with it.

I could've been there as your man, but now thinking of it, I cant stand.
And as for this stranger in this strange land, this strange man, and this real man, will meet who is now a heartless dead man.
Only only one will be on his feet, and its this man.

but in the end!
Back to you, and how you did me wrong,I get it.
You played me the whole time, and in my presence you don't belong.
Now that the hand has turned, and my patience with you has been wasted.
time with you is gone,but theres a closure that I can never face it.

I cant believe it, how nieve I was!
Its the truth, your pathetic its pittyful too
and I regret it, all that i did for you.
Your no longer a memory or a fantasy.
What Ive made you is all deciessed-full,in my heart.
You an art that shouldnt live, be punished for what you did, and let me be once rewarded for all that I've give.

So I leave you this letter, more of a promiss.
That life could take better care of me rather than you, from what you promissed.
So lets be honest, you never had a thing for me, but I did for you.
Quess thats wasnt enough to keep me too.
So "bye bye!", Im tired! Im gone!
When you ask were I went,
just listen to this song.
My pain is written in these lines, now start reading!
If you really did care for me then make wounds in thought of me, and start bleeding.
So I can live off your pain, and laugh myself to sleep.
knowing your stupid, and deceitful actions lead you to lossing me.
You blame everything but yourself as if its not clear to see.
One will not prove there mistakes, but some are open spokenley.
And your not one.

I hope this letter rotts your insides,
make your eyes burn from tears as if it was from rays of the burning sun,
and let your lips dry.
Cause no one will ever kiss you like I will,
not no guy hunn!
The only real thing in your life has just been killed.
I bet your not thrilled, to see me smile, but behind it, its anger filled.
Im strong willed, but at times I cant help but think your heart was born still.
"Us" did happen too fast, now the thoughts of you is just those of my past.
I'll still keep you in my broken heart,suffocating in a caste.
So your love can die,
as I give you a taste of you own trash.
Let it known, my heart beats with no rhythm.
From what you said and what I've known baby your unforgiven. I.I know It wont hurt you as it hurts me, but I rather let you know, that I rather be thirsty than drink your love, why? because your cursed see?
you told me lies to hypnotized me, I saw love but I felt it blindly.
false image of love, is  what you remind me, and im this song, you play this, now rewind me.These lyrics are clear, like my head is now, open mindly.
Able to co-exist with my heart, now before I can love again I wouldn't have to tear it apart.

By:Emmanuel jv Hernandez
Created 12-10-11
pefected 2-22-12

You lay here in bed thinking you will always be here, till the day you die. You lay in bed, having anxiety or excitement on the days to come, but its never certain. Life is never a positive, only death. I lay in my bed worrying about bills or work and never stop to think "will I even wake up tomorrow?" Because its a given. I love my life one day at a time. Ill go to work like im supposed to, ill love like im supposed to, and ill pay my taxes like im supposed to. Other then that ill live each day like I wont wake up tomorrow, but just in case I do, I do what im supposed to.


My father will never know if he will wake the next day, nor will I know. Fear of death is lossing precious life, for each time we fear we lose a bit of happiness we could have had if we only excepted what we do not understand, and we always fear what we do not understand.

Yea, the daunting superflous
reading clovers for
mercy and occursus truss.
Any of the subject
almost lossing sybolic
treasure.  Flights of
bumble bees in a
memoir to the unjustified
prattle.  Each
every, to and from
has little to no forthright
luster.  A tremble with out
fever sick.  A hot spell noted
by the chills.  Warm coolaide
at 99 degrees in the shade.  
Probably a groin pull in the
cerebellum to a feminine mystic.
Aponeurisis for a political satire
written in vetos, between the
colors of the rainbow.
Just plain old tired of the
savant, quixic, modern
prancing.  Dedicating a
spell to the matter of quantum
relics.  Like a choke hold
on a full figured transparency.
To much sale for the sailors
that had married the Titanic.  
Probably mustard on pickles
like gypies due lovers.

i found other to be repulsive
but accept them with ever flaw
they speak my name like a claw in my back
not worthy of being spoke from my mouth
i live with the guilt but own up to my flaws
others pass judgement without making sure they free of sin
i will not argue because never started this or expecting to win
my name mixed with yours is like a stain on white
you feel the urge to belittle my character
my blood does bol but i become mind numb
lossing respect and feelings how to inner act with your shady ways

Birth-
the begining
the start of a journey
that will last
forever

Inspiration-
the reason why im writing
why im here
with you
alive

Failure-
no such thing
lossing
but never failure
it never matters in the end

Love-
the way i feel about you
the reason i cry
the reason we fight
one true love

Trust-
hard to gain
easy to loose
trusting someone with your life
thats a mistake

Death-
not the end
but only a new start
of a life
that will last
forever

My pencil drags
leaving marks on the page
I don't pick it up, in fear of

Lossing my thoughts
my mind
my eyes

But I put it down, and pick up my pen
dragging that too
across the page
smearing ink
afraid of making that one mistake

The one mistake that ruins the pice
the one that ruins the work
my heart

I then put that down too
and chose my colors
so many combinations can be made,

green blue black
red orange pink
silver white black
purple black gold

But it can only be three colors,
or else it looks too cluttered
to messy
too unfinished

I choose my colors, and then
they too get dragged across the page
Mixing occurs
blending,

and I worry about the mistakes again
Anxiety spikes in my mind
my heart is pumping
but my hands are steady

And I repeat my steps, over
and over
and over and over and over
until I get It just right

And finally, I step back
I look at the paper
I laugh, I smile
finally, no mistakes

It's beautiful, but not enough so
so I try again
in an endless loop
of pencils, pens, and color

Those beautiful eyes that stares at me
Those wonderful arms that would love to hold me
That gorgeous smile that makes my day complete
And that sweet voice of yours that no on else could beat

That personality you have that makes me believe in you
Those lines that makes me giggle, and can only be done by few
Those arguements we have that makes this relationship complete
And those times we almost gave up but chose to compete

Those words that you gave me when I couldn't hold on
That aspiring effort you make, when you've done something wrong
Those tears in your eyes, that tells me you love me
And those sacrifices we made to prove we're meant to be

Those pointless talks we have off and over the phone
That comfort that you give me when I am all alone
Those serious moments when we talk about our lives
And those crazy moments when we're just having fun

The determination we have to keep this relationship going
The fear we have in our hearts on lossing everything
Those doubtful moments that made our minds blow up
And the jealousy that made our worlds go downside up

Those people who tried to break us up and never succeded
Those lies we've been told and sometimes believed it
Those people who've been supporting us all the way through
And those inspirational quotes they gave us that helped us too

That selfishness I have in me when it comes to you
That naughty smile you have when i say the words "I Love You"
Those hard times I thought we'd never pass through
And all the challenges that made us learn so we can start a new

Your within my grasp,

But space fills the in between,

I'm loosing you,

Your distance grows the harder I try,

Begging for more sends you hurdling farther,

But I need you,

You keep me from breaking,

You pick up the pieces I forgot,

Your fading away,

Blending with the darkness,

And soon I'll loose you completly,

Then I'll be lossing a part of me,

A part of everything I love.

He was handsome
He was kind
He was sweet
He woulnt **** even a fly, he was very strict
Listen to this!
Now that I'm dead you say this??
Let me get out off this coffin and tell people what you said of me in my presence
That im so poor, I cant even aford to wear braces so I should stop smilling
That my dad had no job he lived of hustling
You even nicknamed him "Rick Ross"
That I had only one girlfriend and she was cheating on me

Yes I grew up in Zwide location
The streets of fallen angels
Yes I am a mamas boy, by that you were right
I dont want no priest that will preach lies about me
Let my mom tell my story
Let her cry, do not shhhwsh her
Let her feel the pain of lossing a child because she was the one who felt a pain when she was giving birth to me
And you weren't there
There is no use for you to put my picture as your Facebook profile picture, I'm dead now!

Say no lies for a soul to Rest in peace
So do not "RIP" me if you never knew me

It wasn't long ago
Long ago from when I didn't know how to react
It felt like I was just being attacked
Everything seemed to just pass slow

I've outgrown it
grabbed it, tossed it and disowned it
I changed,
Changed to something new and better.
And from this experience, I know how to get around it

Never will I let it get to me again
Came too close to lossing some close friends
The one's that mean everything to me
The one's that are there for me
To help me

How can I ever pay them back
For saving me from something I didn't want to be?
When the time comes
I will be there for them
As they were there for me

I know i am devil bad,
but now am very sad,
sitting on the bench thinking my own sins,
and a hollownes in me it brings,
warm droplets of salt realising
me,
what i've done and what i am doing,
still sitting ideal but unconcious mind is running,
the clots of shouting waves in my head.
I just want to cut my hand,
let's bleed it way for me it's not made,
smile for clicks are all fake,
am drunked and dont want to do any thing,
want to leave everyone dont mind please,
am tierd of doing efforts to being alone,
because i cant stood up my own,
it's hurts to be fallen,
all i know that i am broken,
dark lines under my eyes,
all dreams are shatterd now which always flied,
in my mind,
all i have but  still it seems to be empty,
all around there is love and am still thirsty,
habit of lossing made me a liar,
i wish but i know i can't fill my desire,
i dont want to broke other's hope's,
because i know how much it hurts when it brokes,
i dont want to fall in depression's trap,
just only i cant feel how i am sad.

Happiness lies on both health and wealth
Because without health
no use of wealth
and without wealth
no use of dreams
Happiness lies in dreams
Happiness lies in caring and sharing
Happiness lies in positivity
Happiness never means to hurt others in any way
Happiness never means to destroy someone
It's never can give you happiness
Happiness lies in never ending journey
not in a fixed destination
Happiness lies in us
Just we have to find it with love
Happiness is something beautiful
which ones can be adore
but when a person started hating someone instead of loving others and ownselves
they started lossing their happiness forever
that's why it's said forget, forgave and move on
That's only give you extreme happiness

Dakness set's in
It found me again
Sheets of crystal white
Where I wage my fight
I can't even write
The papers to wet
And it's not sweat
My mind is not fit
**** this ****

So tired of this ****** war
So tired of the lossing score
I'm afraid there is no way to win
I've tried so hard again and again
So the battle rages on
Until I am all the way gone

Dakness set's in
It found me again
Sheets of crystal white
Where I wage my fight
I can't even write
The papers to wet
And it's not sweat
My mind is not fit
F**k this ****

So tired of this ****** war
So tired of the lossing score
I'm afraid there is no way to win
I've tried so hard again and again
So the battle rages on
Until I am all the way gone

Am gone in every way,my minds lost and gone away.
I try to find a reason to fight,life isn't always black and white.

Feel as if am playing a lossing game,nothing changes everything's the same.

What's the point in all this pain when there's nothing left to gain.

What's s the point in all the rules when the world is so cruel.  

Something's got me confused
This lifes left me hurt and bruised.

What is it am trying to achieve
In what am I supposed to believe.

Am angry and frustrated at all the time I wasted.

How am I supposed to fight when I can't even find the light.

What's the point of praying
When I can't hear what your saying.

Am gone in every way, I've got nothing left to say.

To love is to risk loss
to risk loss is bravery
Being brave is sometimes dumb
being dumb is infrequently worth it
Continue lossing you'll feel like ****
feeling like **** will leave you slumped
In a slump from getting dumped
issues of a first world chump..
To love is to open wide
to let someone you trust inside
When indoors they'll see your flaws
Pick the better gifts of yours
leave the shoddy ones behind
if they find you do not shine
why the **** did they come inside
now your dull ? they are blind
throw their poison far behind..
What do you all do when loneliness consumes your mind..?

Lossing him was hurt
Not being with him was hurt
Seeing him with another girl was hurt
But you know what hurt the most ?
Seeing him not happy with me

I dreamt of the high mountain
The peak of the cliff
Where clouds greet and kiss
Rain spread its ways to flourish the night
Sun bathes everything with tender and love
I dreamt of it every night!!

And my days??
Those hard tiring long days
From juggling between my own thoughts to harsh blows from outside,
From standing all alone to falling very low,
From lossing strength to gaining immense courage
From silence like a dead sea to loudness like volcanoe,
I learnt one thing, and my dear only one thing
U are your own hero!!!

I often wondered how it would feel like lossing it.
I always thought there would be splashes of blood and  I love you from my man's lips.
I always wanted it to be perfect.

If I said a few months ago six to be exact I was happily single would you believe me.
If I said I was a ****** till yesterday would you believe me.
If I said my ex wait boyfriend oh I don't know.
If I said I had broken up with him two days ago for cheating on me but still let him take my virginity yesterday would you believe me?
If I said my virginity didn't stop him because he is in a party rn would you believe me?

Four months ago he didn't feel right the whole relationship didn't feel right
Three months ago I found a string of text with him and other girls
Two weeks ago he goes on a trip and came back with intimate pictures
One day ago he apologized  saying we need to talk but took the only thing I hadn't given him
I love him but he says he can't say it because he is working on himself .

How I feel about this,
Heartbroken,sad, suicidal
What I'm going to do:
Breath and learn to love me as a non ****** .
Cry cry alot

Self-worth is something I do not
possess,
For the world looks at me less,
Is it just me or Im wearing the wrong dress?
Maybe thats it, I guess?

This man of an angelic beauty,
I came close but this angel is on duty.
Now I am distracted and lost,
I’ve done enough and too much it cost.

How is this possible,
Why am I so gullible?
I should stop looking for Genie’s bottle,
Or I’ll end up fighting a lossing battle.

I look at you and  wonder ..
I think of you and ponder of a when
I remember you and it seems it's grown fonder
I then realise i keep yearning for the yonder

I want and wish
I can't help but miss
I know it's what it is
I just feel , maybe what if

Sometimes i feel like it's a possibility
Then it becomes a maybe
Other times it's a never
Or could it be a foerever??
Am i lossing my sanity??????

I wonder..

You fight with possibilities,
for footing but keep lossing
ground.

Your heart beats like
a monster ready to
devour your life.

Yet you keep the struggle.

Weaker but deeper you plung
into the history of pain.

Sucker punched by regret,
it heals quickly.

Don’t give up yet,
you’ve just got started.

Your star is still trekking,
searching for the life you were promised.

Look closely for your
missing the bigger picture.

Be like a sun blazing across the universe burning regret
like an unwanted cigarette.

Leave behind your flawes
and mistakes, the future
needs room.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton