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"looming" poems
Give them to me. All the pieces of your broken heart. Give them to me. I'll take them. All the rough-hewn misshapen bits of your shattered dreams. Give them to me. I will take them. Give them to me. They are wanted here. All the parts of your misspent childhood. All the regrets of ticking seconds behind you. Give them to me. And we will build a cathedral. A stained glass window of who we are as tall and as beautiful as it should be. Let me have them. And we will make a mosaic that stretches as wide as the sky. Showing every color your heart gained from the bits and pieces left on the ground. I will take them. And forge a sculpture of how beautiful the ideas are that we cast out in our failings and we will cast it in our failings. Let me have them. And we will ***** a monument of all the small things in the shape that you remember them. Towering. Looming. Striking. Beautiful. Let me have them so we might bind the words said and regretted, (or worse) left unsaid in leather and call it scripture. Our Psalms. Our Proverbs: *“The tip of my finger dangles like my tongue. Wanting to touch something beautiful.” “If it were not for him, it would have been us.” “You were all my brightest colors.” “I wish I were more like you.” “I wish I were less like me.” “I am sped.”* And we will read them at dawn like litany. Stretching our voices to the corners of the universe. Asking for the wishes you make when you are scared. Or alone. Or both. That we may take them. And make a blanket. A blanket to cover our childhood and let it rest at last. I will take them. All the parts you no longer want. Give them to me. Because they are what make us beautiful. Give them to me. That I may forge them into pitch and feathers and craft mighty wings. That I may take flight from your worry. And soar on the updraft of your misconception. Give them to me. I will take them. Because I would rather burn like Icarus than to have never dared to fly.
0
May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 4:02 PM UTC
Mosaic
Give them to me. All the pieces of your broken heart. Give them to me. I'll take them. All the rough-hewn misshapen bits of your shattered dreams. Give them to me. I will take them. Give them to me. They are wanted here. All the parts of your misspent childhood. All the regrets of ticking seconds behind you. Give them to me. And we will build a cathedral. A stained glass window of who we are as tall and as beautiful as it should be. Let me have them. And we will make a mosaic that stretches as wide as the sky. Showing every color your heart gained from the bits and pieces left on the ground. I will take them. And forge a sculpture of how beautiful the ideas are that we cast out in our failings and we will cast it in our failings. Let me have them. And we will ***** a monument of all the small things in the shape that you remember them. Towering. Looming. Striking. Beautiful. Let me have them so we might bind the words said and regretted, (or worse) left unsaid in leather and call it scripture. Our Psalms. Our Proverbs: *“The tip of my finger dangles like my tongue. Wanting to touch something beautiful.” “If it were not for him, it would have been us.” “You were all my brightest colors.” “I wish I were more like you.” “I wish I were less like me.” “I am sped.”* And we will read them at dawn like litany. Stretching our voices to the corners of the universe. Asking for the wishes you make when you are scared. Or alone. Or both. That we may take them. And make a blanket. A blanket to cover our childhood and let it rest at last. I will take them. All the parts you no longer want. Give them to me. Because they are what make us beautiful. Give them to me. That I may forge them into pitch and feathers and craft mighty wings. That I may take flight from your worry. And soar on the updraft of your misconception. Give them to me. I will take them. Because I would rather burn like Icarus than to have never dared to fly.
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42
I think sometimes, about what it means to be transgender. I probe and probe for answers, because as the possibility for a new age of enlightenment and safety increases, the others want to know. I’ve come up with many answers, but I can hold to none. I don’t deserve to paint the definition of a culture with the limited experiences I’ve had. I don’t see myself in the transgender identified people allowed on television. I don’t see myself in the transgender identified people making news feeds and giving high profile interviews. And as my nation’s exposure to our culture increases, likely will their curiosity. Am I transgender? Do I have the right? I’ve heard doctors, psychiatrists, may refuse transgender patients access to hormone therapy based on how dedicated or convincing their portrayal of their identified gender. If you want to be a man or woman, you’ll have to look like the women and men on TV. If you want to be transgender, you’ll have to look like the trans identified people on TV. Every single one of us who has an active role as either participant or observer in our society is prey to the crisis of validity. Am I pretty enough? Am I strong enough? Am I brave enough? Mom enough? Dad enough? Competitive enough? Successful enough? Rich enough? **** enough? Pious enough? It never ends. We’re, as a nation of people, being crushed and compartmentalized by this ever present lens, looming over us, exploiting our weaknesses and fears so it may grow wider, and support itself as it follows us, seemingly forever into the future. And one of the worst fears this camera of existential torment exploits, in most of us every day, is, “Do I have a reflection?” “What does it look like?” “Do I look like me?” What does it mean to be transgender? I can’t get away from that question. But I don’t have an answer. There are varying degrees of anguish, depression, panic, anxiety, and other wonderful emotional states that creep up on you and breathe down your neck nearly every waking day. Absolute contempt for the lie of a life you’ve lived till now, and contempt for the fragments still stuck to you, in memories, attached to your body and mind. Fear of those in your own community who would purposefully humiliate, invalidate, or attack you, choosing their own universal moral code over the innate urge and capacity to support the health and continued well being of another human. A ******* neighbor. A ******* pupil. A ******* employee. A ******* sister, brother, son, daughter, mother, father, cousin, ******* blood. What is being transgender like? By my experiences, it’s just like being anyone else in the country. But with a lot more fear, death, exclusion and medication.
0
Feb 5, 2015
Feb 5, 2015 at 5:07 AM UTC
What is Transgender?
I think sometimes, about what it means to be transgender. I probe and probe for answers, because as the possibility for a new age of enlightenment and safety increases, the others want to know. I’ve come up with many answers, but I can hold to none. I don’t deserve to paint the definition of a culture with the limited experiences I’ve had. I don’t see myself in the transgender identified people allowed on television. I don’t see myself in the transgender identified people making news feeds and giving high profile interviews. And as my nation’s exposure to our culture increases, likely will their curiosity. Am I transgender? Do I have the right? I’ve heard doctors, psychiatrists, may refuse transgender patients access to hormone therapy based on how dedicated or convincing their portrayal of their identified gender. If you want to be a man or woman, you’ll have to look like the women and men on TV. If you want to be transgender, you’ll have to look like the trans identified people on TV. Every single one of us who has an active role as either participant or observer in our society is prey to the crisis of validity. Am I pretty enough? Am I strong enough? Am I brave enough? Mom enough? Dad enough? Competitive enough? Successful enough? Rich enough? **** enough? Pious enough? It never ends. We’re, as a nation of people, being crushed and compartmentalized by this ever present lens, looming over us, exploiting our weaknesses and fears so it may grow wider, and support itself as it follows us, seemingly forever into the future. And one of the worst fears this camera of existential torment exploits, in most of us every day, is, “Do I have a reflection?” “What does it look like?” “Do I look like me?” What does it mean to be transgender? I can’t get away from that question. But I don’t have an answer. There are varying degrees of anguish, depression, panic, anxiety, and other wonderful emotional states that creep up on you and breathe down your neck nearly every waking day. Absolute contempt for the lie of a life you’ve lived till now, and contempt for the fragments still stuck to you, in memories, attached to your body and mind. Fear of those in your own community who would purposefully humiliate, invalidate, or attack you, choosing their own universal moral code over the innate urge and capacity to support the health and continued well being of another human. A ******* neighbor. A ******* pupil. A ******* employee. A ******* sister, brother, son, daughter, mother, father, cousin, ******* blood. What is being transgender like? By my experiences, it’s just like being anyone else in the country. But with a lot more fear, death, exclusion and medication.
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1
A ceramic cup pressed to my lips Hot tea steaming below my tounge A breath of warm summer air fills my lungs soon followed by green tea The season is joyous The cicadas sing And the lightning bugs mate But my throat is tight I grip my tea and take another sip Three months of relaxation by the pool Yet the only thing I can worry about is the looming fall 68, 67, 66, 65... And the numbers continually drop with every sunset Fall draws closer everyday But instead of the warm welcome of school time once more The changing of the seasons also changes my life Senior I sip my tea as the anxiety grows College college college That's all I can think of All of my friends will leave but it's alright My cup is empty He's leaving. I have to face real world problems alone and worry about what his school will bring at the same time He's changing for his own good. He's following his dreams I'm happy and envious of him But I cry because it's all too much It's summer and I can't even enjoy the night sky He's going to find someone else It's okay I tell myself It's okay he tells me What will happen will happen But memories of all the good times shared burn my mind And the tears stream down my cheeks It's okay he says We can make it he says Part of me wants to believe it, he and I have talked everything out But another part of me says to break it off now. Why risk getting hurt when he leaves you for someone else? No other college relationship works, you're just a stupid high school girlfriend My conscious fights over this endlessly but he still tells me it's okay I just want the anxiety to end The lightning bugs fade And the cicadas go silent Tortured sleep comes to me once more under the beautiful night sky
0
Jun 29, 2014
Jun 29, 2014 at 12:33 AM UTC
Autumn
A ceramic cup pressed to my lips Hot tea steaming below my tounge A breath of warm summer air fills my lungs soon followed by green tea The season is joyous The cicadas sing And the lightning bugs mate But my throat is tight I grip my tea and take another sip Three months of relaxation by the pool Yet the only thing I can worry about is the looming fall 68, 67, 66, 65... And the numbers continually drop with every sunset Fall draws closer everyday But instead of the warm welcome of school time once more The changing of the seasons also changes my life Senior I sip my tea as the anxiety grows College college college That's all I can think of All of my friends will leave but it's alright My cup is empty He's leaving. I have to face real world problems alone and worry about what his school will bring at the same time He's changing for his own good. He's following his dreams I'm happy and envious of him But I cry because it's all too much It's summer and I can't even enjoy the night sky He's going to find someone else It's okay I tell myself It's okay he tells me What will happen will happen But memories of all the good times shared burn my mind And the tears stream down my cheeks It's okay he says We can make it he says Part of me wants to believe it, he and I have talked everything out But another part of me says to break it off now. Why risk getting hurt when he leaves you for someone else? No other college relationship works, you're just a stupid high school girlfriend My conscious fights over this endlessly but he still tells me it's okay I just want the anxiety to end The lightning bugs fade And the cicadas go silent Tortured sleep comes to me once more under the beautiful night sky
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43
Faced with the great shroud of encroaching unknown, Cowering beneath dark clouds with nothing else but your own. Just know that what gnaws on us is the looming uncertainty. Fruits of undesirable truth may hurt but still it would set you free...
0
Oct 4, 2014
Oct 4, 2014 at 1:38 PM UTC
Uncertainty
*Further my mind goes, than I believed it could fathom Fathoms below even the deceased dreams chasm Impassionately growing through and between atoms To learn There is no whole truth in solely words Blindfolded, if your mind isn't where the memory occurs So it's sure We'll never understand more than we're capable to confer And it doesn't mean, you can't relate to the way I toss n' turn In my sleep That it isn't the same color we bleed Or that we aren't perhaps equally 'deep' Just that we hold some nature of privacy in our thoughts, from any other's gaze Did I mention it was books of seperate authors, though we're on the same page? What I wish to relate today Is I have been changing to date I'm breaking, down just like anyone else Draining my health Enslaved by the chase of wealth Smiling while we're high, but we'll retreat to our personal hells The honesty is, I'm scared to delve into myself Because I know where my truth gets ugly, and has no glamour Not the 30 second commercial version of what it's like living with cancer It's habits, actions and manner Looming over my pride Leaving a weakness in my stride Making me feel tired before I've tried*
0
Jun 4, 2014
Jun 4, 2014 at 12:42 AM UTC
You Can't Keep Secrets From Your Dignity
*what forests are those we pass, blazing along the railway tracks, a tree bloom of still cranes, stream black of ******* bane, stench of dead city rubble, factories of rusted cast metal, distant cotton twilight skies, sun slide across a bunch of wires,     passing tunnels echo lonely platforms, frantic gecko, looming hillside, crackle dry wood fire, a god barred in lock&key,  blink glimpse of the sea  one rush of vision, pebble fling at frisson, metal-crunch rhythm, grind music sublime, spark, grunt, grate, we arrive, we dissipate...*
0
Aug 22, 2016
Aug 22, 2016 at 11:42 AM UTC
train journey bits #1
You asked What is the scariest part? I answer The scariest part is not the feeling of loneliness or the darkness that fills you despite the looming pain of emptiness The scariest part is the realization that you have lost yourself completely sinking in as you lay awake at 2 AM because you lost the ability to sleep and you can't even cry because you don't even care
0
Oct 9, 2018
Oct 9, 2018 at 11:14 AM UTC
The scariest part
Five separate entities Whose lives seem to intertwine with stunning similarities A brown thin thorn As sharp as a knife That hurt everything its comes into contact with But seems to beg for forgiveness from its victims A rose with petals so bright Shining their color into the world That screams for attention Yet seems to hide from plain sight A long thin stem As weak as a piece of paper That somehow holds up the great rose But seems to strengthen with each wind blow A bright green fuzzy leaf Feeble and soft That cries for attention from the rose Yet seems to fade into the background A single flower root Dark Brown and thin as a piece of string That reaches into the earth grasping for a stronghold Yet seems to fail in comparison to the large, strong roots A yellow and black bumblebee buzzing along Happy-go-lucky and unaware of the looming storm That longs to pollenate the rose Yet seems to die more with each passing moment Five separate entities Whose lives seem to intertwine with stunning similarities Yet grave differences
0
May 27, 2014
May 27, 2014 at 10:13 PM UTC
The Thorn, Rose, Stem, Leaf, Root, and the Bumblebee
Limbs littered the earth, her negligee no longer lay in his soldier’s world; he would do anything to smell her perfume once more. What day was it? Ahhh…Monday, the perfect first date, a moon- lit walk on a beach. He felt like a train about to crash and nobody was dancing. She felt alien alone in their home. Dancing was impossible and she stared at the photo, a soldier’s face, not his own. Limbo was a train journey that never ended. Billboards advertising perfume and the never ending sun, the never ending moon. The name of the days changed but Monday was no different from Tuesday or last Monday. She wondered if disabled people thought dancing ridiculous. He could return disabled…the moon was full tonight, she wondered if he in his soldier’s uniform would be admiring it remembering her perfume and not side stepping dead bodies feeling like a train wreck. How many poor driver’s of trains were haunted by suicides, faces looming out, the Monday blues? And some women will never afford perfume and would never be taken out dancing, it did not console her. She was one of thousands of soldier’s wives all gazing wistfully at the unhelpful moon. She dreams of werewolves howling at the moon, of him passing through a dark forest on a train coming back to her, having thrown his soldier’s gun, stamped in the mud, rejected. But she was the gun, Monday and no letter had come and her nerves were dancing, she knocked over her most expensive bottle of perfume. He was dead, she would never replace the perfume. She would smash bottles sticking her tongue out at the moon throwing herself around in life, dancing like a boat in a storm, occasionally consider suicide by train but she would never do it. Saturday, Sunday, Monday all days trooped past like the heavy march of a soldier. The word soldier stank of cheap perfume and everything was mundane especially the moon. People hurry her by like late trains, only a few whirl past dancing.
0
Jun 12, 2010
Jun 12, 2010 at 4:10 PM UTC
Perfume
Limbs littered the earth, her negligee no longer lay in his soldier’s world; he would do anything to smell her perfume once more. What day was it? Ahhh…Monday, the perfect first date, a moon- lit walk on a beach. He felt like a train about to crash and nobody was dancing. She felt alien alone in their home. Dancing was impossible and she stared at the photo, a soldier’s face, not his own. Limbo was a train journey that never ended. Billboards advertising perfume and the never ending sun, the never ending moon. The name of the days changed but Monday was no different from Tuesday or last Monday. She wondered if disabled people thought dancing ridiculous. He could return disabled…the moon was full tonight, she wondered if he in his soldier’s uniform would be admiring it remembering her perfume and not side stepping dead bodies feeling like a train wreck. How many poor driver’s of trains were haunted by suicides, faces looming out, the Monday blues? And some women will never afford perfume and would never be taken out dancing, it did not console her. She was one of thousands of soldier’s wives all gazing wistfully at the unhelpful moon. She dreams of werewolves howling at the moon, of him passing through a dark forest on a train coming back to her, having thrown his soldier’s gun, stamped in the mud, rejected. But she was the gun, Monday and no letter had come and her nerves were dancing, she knocked over her most expensive bottle of perfume. He was dead, she would never replace the perfume. She would smash bottles sticking her tongue out at the moon throwing herself around in life, dancing like a boat in a storm, occasionally consider suicide by train but she would never do it. Saturday, Sunday, Monday all days trooped past like the heavy march of a soldier. The word soldier stank of cheap perfume and everything was mundane especially the moon. People hurry her by like late trains, only a few whirl past dancing.
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39
Tonight I will fall down upon my knees To pray before the goddess of enchanted ebony Her divine rays of dark beauty I embrace Bathing blissfully in her enigmatic grace I enter the sanctum Her sacred place of healing Ecstasy consumes me Enraptured by the feeling When the Moon of the Black Goddess Shines Her light upon me Then the Love of the Black Goddess Drowns the world around me Tonight I worship at the Temple of Her Light I sacrifice my flesh to the goddess shining bright The fire in my soul erupts and sets aflame my mind On holy nights like these when the cosmos re-aligns I enter the sanctum Her sacred place of healing Ecstasy consumes me Enraptured by the feeling When the Moon of the Black Goddess Shines Her light upon me Then the Lust of the Black Goddess Burns the world around me I submit myself to Her, naked and unguarded Prepared to be consumed and then possibly discarded For in her presence, all the evil in our pale existence Vanishes from memory in a single instant I enter the sanctum Her sacred place of healing Ecstasy consumes me Enraptured by the feeling When the Moon of the Black Goddess Shines Her light upon me Then the Mists of the Black Goddess Shroud the world around me The Moon of the Black Goddess Cast thy spell upon me The Moon of the Black Goddess Looming right above me The Moon of the Black Goddess I give my flesh to worship thee! For the Moon of the Black Goddess Is the only place I can find peace! When the Moon of the Black Goddess Shines Her light into me Then the Tune of the Black Goddess Becomes the song to set me free!
0
Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014 at 4:09 PM UTC
Moon of the Black Goddess
Tonight I will fall down upon my knees To pray before the goddess of enchanted ebony Her divine rays of dark beauty I embrace Bathing blissfully in her enigmatic grace I enter the sanctum Her sacred place of healing Ecstasy consumes me Enraptured by the feeling When the Moon of the Black Goddess Shines Her light upon me Then the Love of the Black Goddess Drowns the world around me Tonight I worship at the Temple of Her Light I sacrifice my flesh to the goddess shining bright The fire in my soul erupts and sets aflame my mind On holy nights like these when the cosmos re-aligns I enter the sanctum Her sacred place of healing Ecstasy consumes me Enraptured by the feeling When the Moon of the Black Goddess Shines Her light upon me Then the Lust of the Black Goddess Burns the world around me I submit myself to Her, naked and unguarded Prepared to be consumed and then possibly discarded For in her presence, all the evil in our pale existence Vanishes from memory in a single instant I enter the sanctum Her sacred place of healing Ecstasy consumes me Enraptured by the feeling When the Moon of the Black Goddess Shines Her light upon me Then the Mists of the Black Goddess Shroud the world around me The Moon of the Black Goddess Cast thy spell upon me The Moon of the Black Goddess Looming right above me The Moon of the Black Goddess I give my flesh to worship thee! For the Moon of the Black Goddess Is the only place I can find peace! When the Moon of the Black Goddess Shines Her light into me Then the Tune of the Black Goddess Becomes the song to set me free!
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49
There is a harsh beauty in mathematics. Under curves and over slopes, Equations rise and fall endlessly In a perfectly measured void. Optimized, rationalized, sterilized; Formulas that never lie, Theorems looming before us Like an archaic God, A golden deity whose Volume is maximized. How I dream of drifting in this flux, Concave up and concave down, Riding the sign of my second derivative For positive and negative, For better and worse. I would not travel alone; With C by my side, Friend, ally, brother, Always paired with my antiderivative, For whenever we journey back Into the past, it is necessary To have a companion to pull us out again In case we are unsure of where we started. Rules and laws Strict organization, control; There is a harsh beauty in mathematics. Order; two plus two is always four. Sines and cosines and theta All dancing in the unit circle of life, A conga line that joins itself To form a mathematical ouroboros. But the harshest of the harsh beauties Presented in this Divine Subject Is that though there is an infinite capacity For positivity and growth, So too is there the possibility of stretching Endlessly towards negativity forever. However, it is much more terrifying To lie in the middle; To be undefined, unknowable, and to add Or subtract to no effect; The most fear inducing, mysterious, and gorgeous number Of zero; nothing yet something, Infinite yet not, The most grand of all contradictions. A hole; a jump; a discontinuity, Easily removed from life and smoothed out If you just apply the formulas. Graphs and coordinates, integers and ordered pairs, Is that not what life is? We live within the grandest equation, Each our own variable, Constantly solving for ourselves With the harsh beauties of mathematics.
0
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013 at 10:27 PM UTC
Calculus
There is a harsh beauty in mathematics. Under curves and over slopes, Equations rise and fall endlessly In a perfectly measured void. Optimized, rationalized, sterilized; Formulas that never lie, Theorems looming before us Like an archaic God, A golden deity whose Volume is maximized. How I dream of drifting in this flux, Concave up and concave down, Riding the sign of my second derivative For positive and negative, For better and worse. I would not travel alone; With C by my side, Friend, ally, brother, Always paired with my antiderivative, For whenever we journey back Into the past, it is necessary To have a companion to pull us out again In case we are unsure of where we started. Rules and laws Strict organization, control; There is a harsh beauty in mathematics. Order; two plus two is always four. Sines and cosines and theta All dancing in the unit circle of life, A conga line that joins itself To form a mathematical ouroboros. But the harshest of the harsh beauties Presented in this Divine Subject Is that though there is an infinite capacity For positivity and growth, So too is there the possibility of stretching Endlessly towards negativity forever. However, it is much more terrifying To lie in the middle; To be undefined, unknowable, and to add Or subtract to no effect; The most fear inducing, mysterious, and gorgeous number Of zero; nothing yet something, Infinite yet not, The most grand of all contradictions. A hole; a jump; a discontinuity, Easily removed from life and smoothed out If you just apply the formulas. Graphs and coordinates, integers and ordered pairs, Is that not what life is? We live within the grandest equation, Each our own variable, Constantly solving for ourselves With the harsh beauties of mathematics.
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54
Dear Best friend, You know who you are. You are the beautiful girl in the back of the class, who keeps to herself, but is still strangely likable. You are the girl with the piercing blue eyes and dark, dark sense of humor. Dear Best Friend, I know you literally are always willing to listen, whether it is talking about our mutual crush on that guy in our favourite class, or complaining about society, or my parents, or when I just need to talk about the weather to distract myself from the looming fear of everything going wrong. Dear Best Friend, I still remember when you first told me about your depression. I had always sort of known, but hearing you say it out loud, I honestly didn’t know what to do, because I don’t want you to end up like me, I don’t want you to feel like you have to turn to sharp inanimate objects, I don’t want your world to be dark, hopeless, I don’t want you to fall because depression is a slippery slope, trust me. I don’t want you to forever be broken. I don’t want you to be scared. I just don’t want you to end up as ****** up as me. Dear Best Friend, I know I’m not perfect, I’m not even close, and I ***** up... A lot. But I will do what ever I can to ALWAYS be there for you. I will always be the dorky, idiotic, annoying sidekick. Dear Best Friend, You are beautiful, don’t let anyone, ever tell you otherwise. Especially not some 12 year old boy with a stupid haircut. You are short, there is no denying that, but so is Billie Joe Armstrong and we still think he is the hottest thing since wood stoves. You have blue eyes, that I know you think are weird, but they are like oceans only not as dark. Your hair is almost as straight as the members in half the bands we listen to, but each curl falls in it’s own special place You are beautiful, stunning, breath-taking, and every other synonym for that word. Dear Best Friend, I’m sorry you have to put up with me when I am like this. I know I should just bottle it up, but for whatever reason it always seems like I can’t stop the words from escaping. I’m sorry, I am so so sorry that you have to deal with me. Dear Best Friend, I really want to smack you upside the face with a brick sometimes. But I won’t, because I am more scared of you hitting back than I am of doctors (and that’s saying something) Dear Best Friend, I promise that I will always be there as long as you need me, whether it’s in the middle of the night or when I am thousands of miles away with timezone barriers between us, just call me. When you are scared, call me. When what you are scared of is yourself, call me. When you need a friend, call me. When you want to gush about your new boyfriend, call me. When you want to just chat, call me. Dear Best Friend, At this point I think of you more like a sister that a friend. So, Dear Sister, I love you so much. Thank you for showing me that even the darkest nights have a sunrise, and that those sunrises are always the most spectacular.
0
Apr 8, 2014
Apr 8, 2014 at 3:50 PM UTC
Dear Best Friend
Dear Best friend, You know who you are. You are the beautiful girl in the back of the class, who keeps to herself, but is still strangely likable. You are the girl with the piercing blue eyes and dark, dark sense of humor. Dear Best Friend, I know you literally are always willing to listen, whether it is talking about our mutual crush on that guy in our favourite class, or complaining about society, or my parents, or when I just need to talk about the weather to distract myself from the looming fear of everything going wrong. Dear Best Friend, I still remember when you first told me about your depression. I had always sort of known, but hearing you say it out loud, I honestly didn’t know what to do, because I don’t want you to end up like me, I don’t want you to feel like you have to turn to sharp inanimate objects, I don’t want your world to be dark, hopeless, I don’t want you to fall because depression is a slippery slope, trust me. I don’t want you to forever be broken. I don’t want you to be scared. I just don’t want you to end up as ****** up as me. Dear Best Friend, I know I’m not perfect, I’m not even close, and I ***** up... A lot. But I will do what ever I can to ALWAYS be there for you. I will always be the dorky, idiotic, annoying sidekick. Dear Best Friend, You are beautiful, don’t let anyone, ever tell you otherwise. Especially not some 12 year old boy with a stupid haircut. You are short, there is no denying that, but so is Billie Joe Armstrong and we still think he is the hottest thing since wood stoves. You have blue eyes, that I know you think are weird, but they are like oceans only not as dark. Your hair is almost as straight as the members in half the bands we listen to, but each curl falls in it’s own special place You are beautiful, stunning, breath-taking, and every other synonym for that word. Dear Best Friend, I’m sorry you have to put up with me when I am like this. I know I should just bottle it up, but for whatever reason it always seems like I can’t stop the words from escaping. I’m sorry, I am so so sorry that you have to deal with me. Dear Best Friend, I really want to smack you upside the face with a brick sometimes. But I won’t, because I am more scared of you hitting back than I am of doctors (and that’s saying something) Dear Best Friend, I promise that I will always be there as long as you need me, whether it’s in the middle of the night or when I am thousands of miles away with timezone barriers between us, just call me. When you are scared, call me. When what you are scared of is yourself, call me. When you need a friend, call me. When you want to gush about your new boyfriend, call me. When you want to just chat, call me. Dear Best Friend, At this point I think of you more like a sister that a friend. So, Dear Sister, I love you so much. Thank you for showing me that even the darkest nights have a sunrise, and that those sunrises are always the most spectacular.
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24
You say you have Glitter butterflies Tinglies in there Oh, you've evicted the butterflies princess Those are storms coming This is the eye of it Wait till your captain steers the ship Towards that looming dark cloud You will beg me for butterflies little bug You would beg for a swarm of bees In exchange for the beating you've earned From me then your captain
0
Apr 9, 2017
Apr 9, 2017 at 11:09 PM UTC
Dear Mrs. Captain
I am tired of my rants like a millions hammers pounding away in my brain constant chatter drowns sanity expectations love and affection comfort insecurities and misadventures regrets lost and found a million lives not lived what could be and what is hauntings and remembrances shadows looming large on today today that is not perfect perfection that is just in mind mind on verge of lunacy constant screams drowned in the agonizing void void that is my life I am tired, very tired tears they have a mind of their own roll down when you least expect open your soul to strangers strangers that glare stay in dark away from glare tucked in blanket of oblivion lost and lonely yet sane lost and lonely yet sane
0
Jan 30, 2013
Jan 30, 2013 at 1:56 AM UTC
Tiredness
Alexander K Opicho (Eldoret, Kenya;[email protected]) It is the 30th day of the months in Kenya State and corporate capitalist have now paid their workers Wages or salaries or stipends or emoluments all being remunerations While the rural bourgeoisie and urban bourgeoisie have also paid ex-gratia To relatives come over-aged workers who have declined retiring For the fear of looming starvation if at all they go home, where they were born, Nonetheless; proceed they receive will do nothing whatsoever As it will be stifled by the monster of desperate consumerism; So fat and gullible in this tiger of land in the region called Kenya; The terror peddling rent, courtesy of ruthlessness of the landlord Bills of electric power in their full monopolistic gear Bills of water devoid of quality, indifferent dysentery monger Wages for maid who keep on usurping the food of my child; milk Bills for gas, all of it redolent of comprador bourgeoisie in fashion, Hotel and bar bill - a surreptious one, as the bar girl only knows Airtime and renewal, TV channels and other screen capitalistic ploys Family trip to local resort in a feat of foolish consumerist venture, Money to the old mother at home and, sometimes depraved but patient father ARV’s money to my *** aids stricken sister at the village, my aunt also Tuition fees for my son at the kindergarten, who goes to schools but learns nothing fees balance which my wife has to pay at the tailor to ransom out her dress, M-Pesa and M-Swari loan repayment, this only for Kenyan 30th dayers They know the agony of dealing with Kenyan mega-capitalist safaricom ltd. This consumerism and **** consumerism, It is the menacing bane of the Kenyan poor It is the avaricious tube which siphons back The hard earned money from pockets of the poor Back to despotic account of the pitiless world pigshotry.
0
Feb 28, 2014
Feb 28, 2014 at 9:35 AM UTC
END MONTHS CONSUMERISM
Alexander K Opicho (Eldoret, Kenya;[email protected]) It is the 30th day of the months in Kenya State and corporate capitalist have now paid their workers Wages or salaries or stipends or emoluments all being remunerations While the rural bourgeoisie and urban bourgeoisie have also paid ex-gratia To relatives come over-aged workers who have declined retiring For the fear of looming starvation if at all they go home, where they were born, Nonetheless; proceed they receive will do nothing whatsoever As it will be stifled by the monster of desperate consumerism; So fat and gullible in this tiger of land in the region called Kenya; The terror peddling rent, courtesy of ruthlessness of the landlord Bills of electric power in their full monopolistic gear Bills of water devoid of quality, indifferent dysentery monger Wages for maid who keep on usurping the food of my child; milk Bills for gas, all of it redolent of comprador bourgeoisie in fashion, Hotel and bar bill - a surreptious one, as the bar girl only knows Airtime and renewal, TV channels and other screen capitalistic ploys Family trip to local resort in a feat of foolish consumerist venture, Money to the old mother at home and, sometimes depraved but patient father ARV’s money to my *** aids stricken sister at the village, my aunt also Tuition fees for my son at the kindergarten, who goes to schools but learns nothing fees balance which my wife has to pay at the tailor to ransom out her dress, M-Pesa and M-Swari loan repayment, this only for Kenyan 30th dayers They know the agony of dealing with Kenyan mega-capitalist safaricom ltd. This consumerism and **** consumerism, It is the menacing bane of the Kenyan poor It is the avaricious tube which siphons back The hard earned money from pockets of the poor Back to despotic account of the pitiless world pigshotry.
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30
There’s a scurrying sound of something, burrowing, Down in the depths of the dungeons, hurrying, Skittering, pittering-pattering, scattering When there’s a footstep, hear them chattering: ‘Here come the lords, and here comes the vassal, Tripping their way through Cockroach Castle.’ Here come the ladies, all in their finery Tripping and sipping the wine from the winery, Trailing their silks, their satins and bustling, Up in the ballroom, while the rustling Army beneath the sounds of their razzle Is down in the depths of Cockroach Castle. Spilling their millions up in the glooming Out from the flagstones, terror is looming, Up on the awnings, hung from the ceiling Under the swish of the skirts they’re stealing, Dropping in hair, and burrowing faster, Cockroach Castle is set for disaster. Suddenly all of the room is screaming Flapping of hands, the roaches are teeming, Myriad hordes in the Carbonara, Candles are tipped from the candelabra, Choking smoke from the candles guttered, Flames leap up from the ones that stuttered. Clothing and flags and the awnings razing Silks and satins flare up, and blazing, Roaches in eyes and ears, they’re rasping Clogging their throats, to leave them gasping, There isn’t a lady or lord, or vassal To come out alive from Cockroach Castle! David Lewis Paget
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Apr 3, 2014
Apr 3, 2014 at 1:08 PM UTC
Cockroach Castle
The sky is dark, not pitch black but a deep and dangerous blue. Dark enough to hide the stars but not enough to hide the clouds looming above me. My heavy boots thud against the sidewalk and they thud harder when I walk against the howling wind. I feel it blowing through my sweater and chilling my bones as bare-bones tree branches wave above my head. The darkness wind and chill all point to the end times, where green grass will never return and the sun will never again show its bright face. Nights like this are a spiritual experience. The air speaks to me in ways the sunlight never can. I feel the apocalypse every time it storms.
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May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 10:18 PM UTC
Apocalyptic Skies
Sadness follows me like a lost puppy, Looming and pattering at my feel like rain. Whining like a smoke detector When a child makes a mistake. I inspire depression. An earthquake. I step in fairy-like Movements, trying to be quiet Like a woman should be. Destruction ripples in my wake. I am a bulldozer crashing a funeral, Demolishing the memories we mourn.
0
Jun 19, 2014
Jun 19, 2014 at 1:31 PM UTC
Black Balloons And An Omen Girl
they say you're terrifying scorpio I think you're stagnant and not in the mouldy water way you're a mountain always there looming above they say you're intense scorpio and i know you love intensely and hate intensely and find nothing in between you're ongoing and everything pulling the world towards you you're not mine scorpio and I don't know if I want you to be but I think we'd work born with the moon in scorpio I was and i'm a little bit you and i'm not sure if it's that or that i'm a little bit not you that makes this a fire ******* You're definitely a fire scorpio even though they say you're water I'm an air sign even though I know i'm earth I guess in another world you'd set fire to me but in this world I'm only rippling your surface bubbling up to the top of you and you can't bother to set me alight it's okay though we're a firecracker either way
0
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 4:40 AM UTC
born with the moon in scorpio
Telling the story of passion, death, and virtue. Tracking deception with freedom's lies. The Traveler passed through that timeless veil between here and there, the spaces between the fantastic delusional minds. That a hunter has when tracking down an accomplished plan. Caught in a Blue Galactic Storm. The Unicorn said. *"Mind your own business the rest of us don't give a **** Yet just as the wheels of the stars keep on turning-- on the heels of a planet surfing the Universes tides. There will always be cycles- and sometimes it happens that they collide-such is the power of the Muse. My story is one of tragedy and despair, with malice and Discord, Regret and Guilty Shame. Swallowed by the darkness empty and Dead. Yet out of nothing sprang Life-- fear to Hope Hate to Love, Recklessness to Responsibility, now I'm changing the tide. With arrows sharp words that fill the Night sky. Once again finding the Magic in these threads-weaving a world I've known and dread. Always mocked by the Queen of Hearts, hunting, desiring; "Metamorphosis" But Truth and Memory found the way. A ghost shell that’s crossed the Styx of the Grave, The Muse inside no longer be spelled drifting now to unsure shores, Just as Dante mapped out Hell, so will I my tale: Psyche (Human Soul) captive to the Ice of Pluto-shed no tears. This prison made flesh by mortal woe-lost, forgotten, But Morpheus came to me then. "You still have your Dreams." Then the madness came looming. The facts blurred and suddenly Phoebe appeared: with a playful far off expression. "Oh Persephone, mourn the falling leaves, for it is the last of them you will see.”
0
Oct 29, 2012
Oct 29, 2012 at 2:23 PM UTC
Changes
Telling the story of passion, death, and virtue. Tracking deception with freedom's lies. The Traveler passed through that timeless veil between here and there, the spaces between the fantastic delusional minds. That a hunter has when tracking down an accomplished plan. Caught in a Blue Galactic Storm. The Unicorn said. *"Mind your own business the rest of us don't give a **** Yet just as the wheels of the stars keep on turning-- on the heels of a planet surfing the Universes tides. There will always be cycles- and sometimes it happens that they collide-such is the power of the Muse. My story is one of tragedy and despair, with malice and Discord, Regret and Guilty Shame. Swallowed by the darkness empty and Dead. Yet out of nothing sprang Life-- fear to Hope Hate to Love, Recklessness to Responsibility, now I'm changing the tide. With arrows sharp words that fill the Night sky. Once again finding the Magic in these threads-weaving a world I've known and dread. Always mocked by the Queen of Hearts, hunting, desiring; "Metamorphosis" But Truth and Memory found the way. A ghost shell that’s crossed the Styx of the Grave, The Muse inside no longer be spelled drifting now to unsure shores, Just as Dante mapped out Hell, so will I my tale: Psyche (Human Soul) captive to the Ice of Pluto-shed no tears. This prison made flesh by mortal woe-lost, forgotten, But Morpheus came to me then. "You still have your Dreams." Then the madness came looming. The facts blurred and suddenly Phoebe appeared: with a playful far off expression. "Oh Persephone, mourn the falling leaves, for it is the last of them you will see.”
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39
*Babe I hate to even think soon I'll be long gone that destiny's a painter and the art is bold drawn it hurts we have to part now that we're all grown it's a sting we waited for this moment only for I to leave town hurts that I can't change it, cuts I needs a bandage ***** harder than ******* cause I know that you won't manage our happy song's now a dirge, unreal like a mirage who'll get me to my feet when am parting with my clutch me frowned at the news but none could listen to my views guess I'll always end up trapped in a wrong place always emerge a victor in a wrong race I tried to appeal but karma won the case what else will be scenic like dawn clutching to your dress I hate to lose that smile cause it's a milli not a mile and* **I'm aware.... when life takes me away... Tears may come your way... Babe hope you know I pray... That you don't cry for me... Please don't cry for me...** *I pray you find warmth in some other way Can't promise we'll still feel us from a million miles away but I think I'll think about you every other day never doubting your love, that I totally swear I'll be present in every moment albeit I won't be there when your skies are clear and when the skies are grey I'll be the silhouette somewhere twixt your heart and soul melting the snow of your confusion and fears to keep your existence at bay Please don't cry, please try... try to think about us without a tear try to plough your way through the fear don't be lost in the Sea of loneliness Hope are the sails, life's a boat to steer Am not saying you should bottle up the melancholy it's alright to breakdown at such doldrums, it's okay I just wish sadness was food that you'd ship for me or an ***** I'd mute the speakers, or stop to play I wish life was a symphony, so that we choose harmony I hate that the sad song of our looming reality is in production and that it will soon be ready for karma to play, with such affection I loathe that you're bound to listen when we're missing I hate that I carry this worry to the hay role right from kissing and this affection's starting to feel more of a curse than a blessing* **Cause I'm aware... when life takes me away... Tears may come your way... Babe hope you know I pray... That you don't cry for me... Please don't cry for me...**
0
Aug 20, 2016
Aug 20, 2016 at 8:46 AM UTC
Long Gone
*Babe I hate to even think soon I'll be long gone that destiny's a painter and the art is bold drawn it hurts we have to part now that we're all grown it's a sting we waited for this moment only for I to leave town hurts that I can't change it, cuts I needs a bandage ***** harder than ******* cause I know that you won't manage our happy song's now a dirge, unreal like a mirage who'll get me to my feet when am parting with my clutch me frowned at the news but none could listen to my views guess I'll always end up trapped in a wrong place always emerge a victor in a wrong race I tried to appeal but karma won the case what else will be scenic like dawn clutching to your dress I hate to lose that smile cause it's a milli not a mile and* **I'm aware.... when life takes me away... Tears may come your way... Babe hope you know I pray... That you don't cry for me... Please don't cry for me...** *I pray you find warmth in some other way Can't promise we'll still feel us from a million miles away but I think I'll think about you every other day never doubting your love, that I totally swear I'll be present in every moment albeit I won't be there when your skies are clear and when the skies are grey I'll be the silhouette somewhere twixt your heart and soul melting the snow of your confusion and fears to keep your existence at bay Please don't cry, please try... try to think about us without a tear try to plough your way through the fear don't be lost in the Sea of loneliness Hope are the sails, life's a boat to steer Am not saying you should bottle up the melancholy it's alright to breakdown at such doldrums, it's okay I just wish sadness was food that you'd ship for me or an ***** I'd mute the speakers, or stop to play I wish life was a symphony, so that we choose harmony I hate that the sad song of our looming reality is in production and that it will soon be ready for karma to play, with such affection I loathe that you're bound to listen when we're missing I hate that I carry this worry to the hay role right from kissing and this affection's starting to feel more of a curse than a blessing* **Cause I'm aware... when life takes me away... Tears may come your way... Babe hope you know I pray... That you don't cry for me... Please don't cry for me...**
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50
Your eyes ignite the looming and beautiful night sky
0
Jun 18, 2014
Jun 18, 2014 at 7:40 PM UTC
Ignition (10w)
You stripped me of my innocence. Yours were the first lips To press passion onto my stunted **** My body bruised by your touch, Your forked tongue hissed through gritted teeth, Caress me, as your hands rattle With anger, desire. Testosterone fulled triggers Blew holes into my anatomy, Ripping apart my flesh. Now I tie stitches where skin should be, I'm bleeding out my purity. Drip, Drip, Drip. The beads of sweat, roll downwards, Trickling off your looming armour. They dance with the oceans in my eyes. Itching spiders romance with the bones Upon my empty corpse. Hollow reeking mass, Devoured by play pretend. Love lead way to self devouring devotion, We play on ties with lit matchsticks. Broken, singed strings, Where my innocence should lie.
0
Sep 22, 2014
Sep 22, 2014 at 7:39 PM UTC
Innocence
Growing up there was chaos reshaping the love; it was the cycle that gave us our dynamic. A single thing acted like a looming shadow as it circled our warm home. It would **** them one by one into its cold smog. I grew used to its presence; making me numb to its touch. I had to settle the rest of their souls by ridding them of the darkness. I was young but I understood pain; I saw it in their eyes, heard it behind a smile, and felt it with the lingering touch - longing to be comforted. Eventually, the shadow turns to light. The pain dissolved, but I still remember every situation I made right - the memories of the darkness still live inside me.
0
Sep 4, 2018
Sep 4, 2018 at 12:51 PM UTC
Peacemaker.
The place was dangerous as hell; we had no business being there. It was a complex, composed of four immense structures, looming on the bluffs between Lake Michigan and a ghost town. I'm not sure which side of the fence brought forth more eeriness - the sight of four massive industrial skeletons was indeed an eerie one, but within the village that must endure it's haunting presence persists a dwindling heartbeat... and together they produced a heightened effect of slow decay - and that was what drew me in. The place was magnificent day or night. By day, we'd explore the groundworks while the light allowed us to admire the massive machinery, which by then had accumulated copious amounts of corrosion. All those dead giants, never to function again. In the spring time, beams of light would penetrate the ceiling above, caving in from years of stress sans stress tests. Even when the light was not shining through, one could make out where the beams have been because in their wake they left a trail of life. Up to that point in my life I thought that was the most beautiful scene I had ever seen - a thousand tons of old machinery, and a stubborn sunbeam poking through, incubating it's au natural industrialized chia pet. By night, we would ascend to the rooftops of these four story horror stories and gaze up at the stars. Sometimes, when our ***** were feeling particularly swelled, we'd venture across the rooftops as if in some post-apocalyptic videogame. And sometimes when we were feeling a bit rebellious and artistic, we'd bring along some cans of spray paint and redecorate to our desire. Oh, and another reason the place reeked of death was surely due to it being a glue factory... wherein horses were killed in order to gain access to their foot-stuff. I was told by an unfortunate local that they'd bury the unwanted horse parts in big pits back behind the place... this man had told me that he fell into one while wandering around back there - nearly died trying to get out. We knew the place was soon to be leveled, but we did not know when. Eventually I ended up moving out of state for a while, and alas, upon my return my childhood fascination was no more. shrugs... So it goes.
0
Sep 5, 2012
Sep 5, 2012 at 4:18 AM UTC
The Old Glue Factory
The place was dangerous as hell; we had no business being there. It was a complex, composed of four immense structures, looming on the bluffs between Lake Michigan and a ghost town. I'm not sure which side of the fence brought forth more eeriness - the sight of four massive industrial skeletons was indeed an eerie one, but within the village that must endure it's haunting presence persists a dwindling heartbeat... and together they produced a heightened effect of slow decay - and that was what drew me in. The place was magnificent day or night. By day, we'd explore the groundworks while the light allowed us to admire the massive machinery, which by then had accumulated copious amounts of corrosion. All those dead giants, never to function again. In the spring time, beams of light would penetrate the ceiling above, caving in from years of stress sans stress tests. Even when the light was not shining through, one could make out where the beams have been because in their wake they left a trail of life. Up to that point in my life I thought that was the most beautiful scene I had ever seen - a thousand tons of old machinery, and a stubborn sunbeam poking through, incubating it's au natural industrialized chia pet. By night, we would ascend to the rooftops of these four story horror stories and gaze up at the stars. Sometimes, when our ***** were feeling particularly swelled, we'd venture across the rooftops as if in some post-apocalyptic videogame. And sometimes when we were feeling a bit rebellious and artistic, we'd bring along some cans of spray paint and redecorate to our desire. Oh, and another reason the place reeked of death was surely due to it being a glue factory... wherein horses were killed in order to gain access to their foot-stuff. I was told by an unfortunate local that they'd bury the unwanted horse parts in big pits back behind the place... this man had told me that he fell into one while wandering around back there - nearly died trying to get out. We knew the place was soon to be leveled, but we did not know when. Eventually I ended up moving out of state for a while, and alas, upon my return my childhood fascination was no more. shrugs... So it goes.
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5