The story of the year 235
The year of Kris Kringle the
Right wing Santa Claus


You see in the old town of Dublin
Back in the 200s there lived the Kringle family who were the crankiest family of all, with father
Donald and mother trish and
Two boys Lionel and kris
And Kris Kringle was the one who really wanted his father to respect his views and Donald told kris
That he had bogus views that only
Rich people would like, like at the age of 4 Kris Kringle was trying to plant money in the garden hoping
A money tree would grow and Donald trish and Lionel all laughed
At him saying you are a total loser
And you will never get what you want and years and years went by
And at the ripe age of 16, Kris Kringle wanted to leave his left leaning family and decided to squat
On the lawns of the country club
Saying this is where I will end up
Saying that I can get away from those poor bank robbers and
Enjoy country club life, and this country club has big Christmas concerts and chess tournaments
Boxing bouts and Kris Kringle
Was the winner of 56 tournaments
In that country club, they also
Brought bands from all walks if life
Kris Kringle was on cloud 9, thinking
That people who don't want to go to this country club are idiots
And Kris Kringle after several roles
Of playing Santa at Christmas concerts, he had these visions of
Throwing lollies and chocolate bars
Into the audience and the country
Club crowd were very happy and
Kris Kringle had other ways of making fun at Christmas like
Giving a big cake and have pretty women come out of it and kris
Kringle was on cloud 9 but at the age of 26 when Kris Kringle was moving into the villas in the country
Club a gang of train robbers were on their way to rob one of Ireland's famous old time trains and abducted Kris Kringle and made him a hand in
Robbing this train and Kris Kringle was in no right mind to tell these robbers off, so he just kept his big mouth flaming shut and when they arrived at the old 200 century train
Station Kris Kringle was forced to look as he is the ring leader and
Thru robbed the train and then
5 days later Kris Kringle was a arrested and sentenced for 35 years
In Australia which used to be a convict colony and Kris Kringle
Decided to spread Christmas cheer
For everyone on the island and
He parked himself a home in
What we now know as Adelaide
And his house is where Rundle mall
Is currently sitting and Kris Kringle
Got a stage coach every Christmas
And with 3 brumbies puliing on the reign delivering presents to everyone
On the island and it took 7& hours
To deliver these presents and when
Kris Kringle returned he dropped off at the beach we now know as glenelg beach and was there for the official opening of the glenelg surf club and Kris Kringle did this each year for his 35 year sentence and
The people on the terra Australis island didn't want Kris Kringle to go back to Ireland so they killed him
By hiring a truck and running kris
Kringle down saying we are keeping your spirit with us kris and
Every Christmas that Kris Kringle
Was delivering presents ya know
34 years he delivered presents to
People on this island, Kris Kringle's body was buried where Rundle mall
Is today and his spirit really makes
Adelaide come alive in the credit union Christmas pageant
Kris Kringle lives forever
I was Kris Kringle


Sent from my iPhone

Kris looked at the clock and knew he didn’t have time to mingle.
Because he was Santa Claus also known as Kris Kringle.
Why did he have to go to the office Christmas party?
It was time to get toys to kids, he did not want to be tardy.
Kris tried to argue with his boss, who was having none of it.
It was like the more he talked, the more his boss had a fit.
How could something be mandatory if we don’t have to go.
His boss said with a smile, You don’t have to be there, but you can’t say no.

So Kris found himself at the party, drinking punch and looking for a way out.
He was sure that with all the days he took off looking for toys, he lost his clout.
To make matters worse, someone suggested that there should be an afterparty later.
Another person yelled out in the office that he knew people who could cater.
I have to get out of here, Kris muttered, but his only experience was with chimneys.
There are cookies and milk waiting,  I can't get no more food in me.
So he decided to slip out, but his friend called out, Aww Kris you’re no fun.
Kris went to his car, and looked both ways before putting the keys in the ignition.
It transformed into a sleigh, and Kris Kriegle ripped off his suit.
Santa in all his glory, with the red everything  and the black boots.
As he left he shouted, No more Office Christmas parties! I mean **, **, **!
Because Santa is the giver to gifts to our children, not our office bro!

Kourtney Kardashian usually displays some quirky style when shooting her reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

And on Monday the 36-year-old single mom was at it again as she wore a baggy army green jumpsuit when landing with her three kids Mason, aged five, Penelope, aged three, and Reign, eight months, in St Barts to shoot her E! show.

Looks like mom Kris Jenner, 59, did not get the fashion memo as she was seen descending the steps of a private jet alongside Khloe, 30, Kim, 34, and Kendall, 19, in the exact same getup.

The jumpsuit seemed to hang off Kourtney, who paired the staple with clunky platform black and beige jazz shoes, gold necklaces and gold-rimmed aviators. The ex of Scott Disick played down the glam with a ponytail and minimal makeup.

Kris wore her suit in a more fitted manner that showed off her slim waistline.

The ex of Bruce Jenner (now Caitlyn of I Am Cait fame) added beige combat boots and a small beige Hermes bag to her look.

Her hair was worn styled in a spiky fashion and she didn't forget to glam it up with vintage sunglasses and lipstick.

Khloe was playing good auntie as she carried Penelope, who was cute in a white dress.

The girlfriend of NBA star James Harden had on a black sleeveless mini dress and black high top sneakers. The E! babe carried a large neon yellow Hermes purse and wore her blonde locks up in a messy top knot.

Kim, who carried daughter North, was the most dressed up by far.

The pregnant wife of rapper Kanye West had on a tight beige dress that showed off her baby bumpy (she is expecting a son in December), beige rain coat and strappy beige heels. Her hair was worn down and parted in the middle.

North had on a summer dress and beige sandals, and her hair was worn in a top knot.

Kendall had on a plunging blue outfit with black and white Adidas sneakers.

The Calvin Kelin model had a black purse on her shoulder and gold-rimmed aviators on, copying her older half-sisters Kourtney and Khloe.

Her younger sister Kylie, who turned 18-years-old over the weekend, was not seen.

The crew for Keeping Up With The Kardashians could be seen holding cameras and a boom as the stars walked off a red, white and blue private jet.

The family has been shooting the next season of the E! show, which will air after I Am Cait ends.

The Kardashians often film their reality show when on vacation as they did in Armenia earlier this year and in Greece in 2014.

This show of unity comes the day after Kim and Khloe were seen arguing with Cait on I Am Cait.

Jenner's comments about her family in her Vanity Fair cover interview have become a running bone of contention among the Kardashian clan.

Kris confronted her ex-husband over what she has said about her in a powder keg moment that was teased after Sunday night's episode.

Kris tells her in a video posted on E: 'You're sensitive and amazing to all these new people in your life, you're just not so sensitive and amazing to the family that you left behind.'

Caitlyn gives her side, responding: 'I try to do everything I can to be nice, reach out. You have to see it from my perspective, be an ally when it comes to dealing with the kids.'

Then the former Olympian says, 'Don't go there, this is not the issue. I was defending myself. It was a distraction from the sense of who I was, that doesn't mean I didn't love you or the kids.'

Throughout Sunday night's episode Caitlyn is shown getting into arguments with her stepchildren, first with Kim and then with Khloe.

When Kim comes to visit Caitlyn first complains about how her family had all kept their distance.

She said: 'Nobody's come out [to visit], Kourtney hasn't made a move at all, obviously Khloe hasn't come close - I feel so isolated out here. All of a sudden there's this wall that's up there.

'I just want everybody to be happy. I love, love, love all my kids. I wish you guys were here every **** day.'

But it is not long before Caitlyn is also being criticized, firstly due to her nature and then due to what she has said about her family to Vanity Fair.

Kim said: 'You still have a little Bruce in you. I thought Caitlyn would be a little kinder. I think that there's some things that you said that you might not realize are hurtful.

'You said that Kendall and Kylie were a distraction. When they read that - I don't know that they'll quite understand that.'

The conversation then turned to Kim's manager mother, with explosive results.

Kim said: '[The interview] said, "had Kris been accepting to who I am, we still would be together" - and that is the most unfair thing in the world to say.

'You're a woman now and she is not a lesbian - she does not want to be with a woman, that's not fair to ask.'

Caitlyn defensively insisted: 'As time went on our relationship changed drastically. In my eyes it's like, "Well, I don't need him any more - I've got all the girls." I felt it in the way she treated me. She wanted me out of the house.'

Kim, insisting Caitlyn should have been thrilled and saying 'good riddance' to a relationship that 'wasn't mean to be', told her: 'If I was with someone for 25 years I would look for the positive things and try to end it on a good note.

'You said "Kris mistreated me" - it sounded like she beat the s**t out of you. You could have a little more respect.'

read more:www.marieaustralia.com/princess-formal-dresses

www.marieaustralia.com/blue-formal-dresses

See him wasted on the sidewalk, in his jacket and his jeans
Wearin' yesterday's misfortunes like a smile
Once he had a future, full of money love and dreams
Which he spent like they was goin' outta style

And he keeps right on a'changin', for the better or the worse
Searchin' for a shrine he's never found
Never knowin' if believin', is a blessin' or a curse
Or if the goin' up was worth, the comin' down

He's a poet, an' he's a picker, he's a prophet, an' he's a pusher
He's a pilgrim and a preacher, and a problem when he's ******
He's a walkin' contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction
Takin' ev'ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home

He has tasted good and evil, in your bedrooms and your bars
And he's traded in tomorrow for today
Runnin' from his devils Lord, and reachin' for the stars
And losin' all he loved, along the way

But if this world keeps right on turnin', for the better or the worse
And all he ever gets is older and around
From the rockin' of the cradle, to the rollin' of the hearse
The goin' up was worth, the comin' down

He's a poet, an' he's a picker, he's a prophet, an' he's a pusher
He's a pilgrim and a preacher, and a problem when he's ******
He's a walkin' contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction
Takin' ev'ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home

There's a lot of wrong directions, on that lonely way back home

"Remember when they kept saying I was too blind? I think I was just too in love, too naïve and pure." She quietly mutters, her eyes gazing upon the Vanilla Latte, as they sat in their usual sport in the café. Jessica sighs as she remembers those days clearly.

"You still think about it?" He says, glancing at her. She's grown up so much, beauty is still shines on her face, but the innocent vibe changed into a mature one.

"Of course I do… It feels like yesterday" She smiles at the thoughts, her tinkering smile makes his heat beat all over again. «What happened to us?» He asks himself, suddenly forgetting the answer. "I was blind not to see, weak to not accept".

“I would never forget how cute you looked”.

“Kris ―Now isn't the time for you to tell me that”.

“I know I'm wrong, but that’s the truth. If only I could travel back to the past, like in a time machine― change it and make things right for us”.

“But you can’t do that. Face reality Kris, I've grown up, you said you've moved on, there's no point getting in a time machine now” She says as tears threating to fall from her eyes. Shaking his head he feels like his world is slowly breaking. How he missed her a lot during these seven years, her lavender shampoo which lingers, the caramel hair she had is now dark brown giving her a more elegant charm and that smile which  made his heat beat faster everytime, but she was changed “ You let go even when I asked you not to, saying goodbye to everything we had.” She sobs. She's right. He’s the only one to blame for everything. It was all his fault he left her for the dream he could never reach, all his fault he let her fall into a arrange marriage into someone she hated and most of all, he was the one to blame for the pain she's still suffering.  

“Sica―”

“Forget it, I have to go, someone's waiting for me and I don’t want to keep them waiting " Pushing her seat she quickly walked away.

«Why did this happen to us?» Remembering all the good moments they had, wanting to say those words that never come out before. He went to chase after her, the long forgotten Vanilla Latte. As he saw her, about to reach her, eveything slipped infront of him.

Getting into the car,  Jessica left just like that, just as fast as his heart broke. He last saw her leave with some stranger, who she was forced to be with, because of him. Everything was because of him.

I met the devil many times
didn't drink his beer for free (like Kris Kristofferson#)
or beat him in a fiddling duel (like Charlie Daniels##)
but he wasn't trying too hard to hide
or convince me he didn't reside
in all our hearts at one time or another

Instead, he allowed me to see his (and my) wicked ways
and make me afraid that at the end of my days
if I failed to follow a prescribed and sacred tradition
I would land in the ****** world of perdition

this loathsome chap serves a purpose indeed
and those who have the interminable need
pray fervently each and every day
hoping to keep this imp at bay

but without him and his miscreant acts
we would be stuck with unimaginable facts
like bad things happen without a reason
and nobody is guaranteed a winning season

So if you meet him on some dark and lonely path
(as I have many a time)
fear not you will incur his wrath
for without him there would be none to blame
and we alone would have to feel the shame
for all the woe that is the world

(#Kris Kristofferson wrote a song in which he states he didn't beat the devil, but he drank his beer for free--##Charlie Daniels had a tune where he has a fiddle duel with the devil--I believe Charlie wins in the song)

Father Christmas, Pere Noel
People know him just as well
Santa Claus, St. Nicholas too
I know him by all of these...do you?

No matter where you come from
No matter where you go
No matter what folks call him
He's a figure we all know

Dressed in red, or white or blue
Beard of white, big old sack
We know him by so many things
And if you're good he will come back

Whether filling stockings up
Or filling up your wooden shoes
Santa comes on Christmas Eve
And takes away your Christmas blues

Father Christmas, Pere Noel
People know him just as well
Santa Claus, St. Nicholas too
I know him by all of these...do you?

Noel Baba, or Kris Kringle
He can make those sleigh bells jingle
San Niklaw or Babbo Natale
The rat pack all loved him pally!

Do you know him as a skinny man ?
Or is he round and jolly ?
It doesn't matter much to me
It's all mistletoe and holly

Father Christmas, Pere Noel
People know him just as well
Santa Claus, St. Nicholas too
I know him by all of these...do you?

He helps make Christmas what it is
Although the season isn't his
Don't forget the holy side
Just let your heart act as your guide

Pay it forward, pay it back
Remember Santa and his sack
Do unto others as you'd have done
And pay respects to God's son

Father Christmas, Pere Noel
People know him just as well
Santa Claus, St. Nicholas too
I know him by all of these...do you?

The television was on a loop playing a recording of Natural Born Killers
Our bodies and their contents laid naked and honest over the sheets
He breathed so heavily beside me
I could not say
He was not there
The crack in the window whistled cool air and the radiator over compensated at 80 degrees Fahrenheit, making the room an even 70.
The kitchen light was on.
The guest room light was on.
It was 5:10 in the morning
Too soon for the sun to overwhelm the hollow artificial light
I put on a shirt that I left there weeks ago
It smelled like his cigarette smoke
I brushed my teeth until the sink cloged, brimming with water and swirls of foamy yellow spit.

Lying with you after that cleansing reminded me of the first time I really saw poverty.
No facade, no escape
Too different to empathize
When he wakes up he’ll smile and touch me, he’ll say, “Hi, Baby”, even though I’m not Baby.
Those particular thoughts moved me with a bottomless felling,
So I got up.

Making my way to the kitchen, I turned off the light in the guest room
Not everything can shine
Somehow the kitchen always feels like the center of a home
Maybe because food is a thing that comes before love
The Donner’s loved.
Every inch of the kitchen was coated in foody grime
There was dirt down to every inch, in every crack
Nothing, not even the child could convince him to wipe it away.

That home felt small around us
I felt overstayed
If he woke up from deep sleep while I packed the few things I own
I know his eyes would tell me he didn’t understand
His protest would be angry
He would beg
I’d feel shameful but excited
There is no justification to stay where boxes half-stored and lazy intrude into your limited space,
Where the kitchen grows a layer of filth every time it greets you,
Where the walls close in every early morning when you get up for work and you do the dishes in the quiet.

The roses on the floor didn’t protest loudly,
But they insisted that I crawl back into bed where I belong
“You’re depressed, It will pass again,” they said.
The mercy he showed my flaws, the laughs we shared, his desperation and admiration, his love even though he recoiled, jaded when I couldn’t match him.
None of it could keep me there that morning

YOU SEE I FEEL LIKE I AM BEING TREATED LIKE AN ANIMAL, AND I REMEMBER BACK IN THE 1930s, WHEN I WAS

BARNEY THE DOG, YA SEE I JUMPED AROUND ALL OVER THE PLACE, AND ROLLING AROUND ALL OVER THE

LAWN, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, YA SEE I AM GETTING VISIONS, OF ME AS BARNEY THE DOG, AND

I REMEMBER CHARLIE CHAPLIN PATTED ME ON THE HEAD, AND I BIT HIM SOMETHING FIERCE

AND CHARLIE CHAPLIN WASN’T IMPRESSED ONE LITTLE BIT, SO FROM THAT MOMENT, KRIS KRINGLE

DECIDED TO HAASLE CRONUS’S SPIRIT WHICH IS ME, AND I REMEMBERED JUMPING ALL

OVER EVERYONE, BUT I MAULED LITTLE KIDS AND CATS AND OTHER DOGS, AND I AM HAVING TROUBLE BATTLING

THIS VOICE TONIGHT, AS BUDDHA IS LIFTING BARNEY THE DOG UP, AND THEN DROPPING, YA SEE

MY OWNERS BACK THEN, REALLY HATED MY VIOLENT OUTBURSTS, AND I BARKED VERY FIERCELY BACK

AND I MADE MY OWNER REALLY SCARED OF ME.

I REALLY LOVED RUNNING ON THE BEACH IN MIAMI, YEAH IN THE 30s, MIAMI BEACH WAS BUSIER THAN

TODAY, I RAN DOWN AND I MAULED A KID, ON THIS BEACH AND MY OWNER GOT INTO  TROUBLE

CAUSE, DESPITE THE KID NOT DYING, HE HAD FRACTURES IN HIS HANDS, AND I VISION

OF ME PLAYING OUT ON THE FRONT DOOR, BUT I AM TRYING TO IGNORE THAT VOICE

ONLY BECAUSE, I AM NOT BARNEY THE DOG NO MORE, I REMEMBER GOING TO THE

LITTLE LEAGUE BASEBALL, AND I TRAPPED 3 KIDS IN THE BASEBALL SHED, 2 KIDS GOT OUT

BUT 1 KID WAS MAULED BY ME, BARNEY THE DOG, I FIRST STARTED GROWLING AT THE KID

THEN I KILLED HIM, WHICH MADE ME VERY HUNGRY FOR MORE, BUT AFTER MY OWNER HEARD

DESPITE OF WHAT HE SAID, WANTED TO KEEP ME UNDER LOCK AND KEY, HOPING IT WILL

REFORM THE SAVAGE BEAST IN MYSELF, I REALLY DON’T APPRECIATE BEING TREATED LIKE AN

ANIMAL, I AM A HUMAN BEING, NOW, BUT BRIAN ALLAN, WAS PUT ON THIS EARTH TO EXPLAIN

ABOUT HIS PREVIOUS LIVES, AND TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM, TO HELP THE POOR PEOPLE

I DON’T APPRECIATE BEING TREATED LIKE MY CAT EITHER, CAUSE I WAS RUBUX THE CAT

AND THAT CAT NEVER SLEPT, AFTER I WAS GREAME THORNE AND PATRICK DUNBAR BOTH

KIDNAPPED AND KILLED AT THE AGE OF 8, THEN I WAS RUBUX THE CAT, BUT I WAS A REALLY LOUD

NON FAMILY LOVING CAT, CAUSE MY COSMIC ENERGY, WAS HELPING CRONUS, DESTROY THE

SPIRIT OF STEVEN BRADLEY AS WELL AS THAT CRAZY WITCH DOCTOR, RUBUX WAS ALSO

A VERY HUNGRY CAT, HE ATE 5 TINS A NIGHT, AND THE OWNERS, WERE POOR AND STRUGGLING,

THEY CAN BARELY LOOK AFTER THEMSELVES LET ALONE A CAT, AND THEN RUBUX WAS RUN OVER BY A GROUP

OF KIDS SAYING, RUN HIM OVER, RUN HIM OVER, RUN HIM OVER, PRETTY MUCH WHERE I GOT THAT

STUPID VOICE, OF KIDS SAYING RUN HIM OVER, I DON’T WANT TO BE AN ANIMAL, I AM A HUMAN BEING

I COULD BE DOG WITH A BLOG, BUT I THINK THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WHAT I DO ON

AAA YOUTUBE TV OR AARON CLAYTON, PLEASE STOP TREATING ME LIKE AN ANIMAL, I KNOW

BARNEY THE DOG WAS BAD, BUT KIDS MADE RUBUX PAY FOR WHAT BARNEY DID, I DON’T WANT TO BE A COOL KID

TO THE BED COVERS YOUNG DUDES, TONIGHT I FEEL LIKE A N ANIMAL, SO I WROTE IT OUT OF ME

CAUSE I AM A PERSON A VERY NICE PERSON

I WANT TO BE HAPPY EVERY DAY

BARNEY DOESN’T REALISE HE RUINED CRONUS’S GOOD NAME

BUT HE WAS A DOG, OH YEAH HE PUT OTHER GERMAN SHEPHERDS TO SHAME

I AM NO ANIMAL, BARNEY AND RUBUX, WERE MY LAST CRACKS, THE KIDS KILLED RUBUX, BRIAN

ALLAN WAS BATTLING WITH DAD SAYING LEAVE MY SON ALONE, BRIAN IS A COOL KID

LIKE ALL KIDS, I THOUGHT, I HATE BEING A COOL KID TO DAD, BUT I LIKE DOING THINGS THOUGH

MY COOL KID, IS WATCHING FOOTY, MY BROTHERS WAS PLAYING COWBOYS AND INDIANS

OK THAT IS THIS LIFE, BUT FOR RUBUX AND BARNEY, THEY HAD STUPID OWNERS

RUBUX’S OWNERS WERE SO DEVASTATED, WHEN RUBUX DIED, THEY TOOK THE KIDS TO COURT

GOT $ 1-000-000 IN COLD HARD CASH

AND BOUGHT A HOUSE IN MIAMI AND WENT TO WOODSTOCK IN 1969

AND BRIAN KNEW THIS, CAUSE I USED MY SPIRIT OF RUBUX THROUGH CRONUS TO WATCH THAT

THEY ENJOY THEMSELVES, IN THEIR NEW HOME IN MIAMI

Sleezy Santa
drinking honey flavored
Jack,
straight from the bottle.
Ruining your Childhood
one large gulp at a time.
Chasing it with
Natural Light.
Oh the weather outside is frightful.
***** snow falling on
a ***** town.
The only way that drunkard got on the roof
is through liquid courage.
That **** is slippery
and one misstep means
** ** Hospital
for Jolly ole St. Nick.
The holiday season would be thrown through a loop
with Kris Kringle stuck in a coma.
Mrs. Claus is filling the papers for sole custody of the elves.
Happy Holidays.

Gilded cage so small and tiny
Even singing comes out whiny
Stinking of fake fresh and piney
Tis the season
Leaking water warm and briny
With good reason

Christmas cheer and glasses toast
Loved ones smile and laugh and boast
I sit perched upon my post
A tinsled column
Invisible reluctant host
A heart that's solemn

A longing for a love so distant
The melancholy is persistent
A smile could erase it in an instant
On a face cherubic
For my heart is not resistent
It's theraputic

So that smile that is perfection
Is mirrored in my own reflection
Without a thought about rejection
Hallucinations
About the subtlest inflection
In Salutations

Surrounded by the merrily intense
With drunkard tendencies immense
A bar with all accoutrements
They pound tequila
Drinking away the sacraments
Oh yes, I feel ya

Merry time with old Kris Kringle
Guests all lubed enough to mingle
Mistletoe hangs and sleigh bells jingle
Gifts homemade
Tables adourned and glasses tingle
Gold brocade

Still I sit all caged and flightless
Blind to joy all sad and sightless
Drink could make it hurt a mite less
I'm going backward
Laying here all limp and lifeless
Broke and fractured

Surrounded by the fake and vexing
Artificial and quite perplexing
Reality they are rejecting
The devil may care
Bellies bare and muscles flexing
Lost underwear

So ******* dancing to the jukebox
Lost alone here in the boondocks
There is no snow upon the rooftops
Ahead they forge
Find a room before that thing pops
It's so engorged

Neighbor ***** all dressed in orange
Wearing gold to make the poor cringe
Stripping time to fill her syringe
I'll be her hinderance
Still too drunk from her last binge
Faulty remembrance

Ridding riff raff from the party
People still drunk on Bacardi
Noxious gasses burp and farty
With toilets makeshift
Worn out makeup on the smarty
She needs a facelift

Time to let the people go
Too tired to keep watching the show
Drinking hard and walking slow
Verbose yet listless
Honey I don't want to know
It's not my business

Deaths Of 2013

My third year doing this.

Paul Walker, Texas ranger,
driving fast leads to danger.
Matt Osbourne was Doink The Clown,
Paul Bearer always wore a frown.
Dennis Farina and James Gandolfini,
always played a mobster meany.
Peter O'Toole, famous actor,
Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher.
President Nelson Mandela,
Dennis Burkley, was a famous fat actor fella.
Lou Reed, is now on the wild side,
took all the colored girls for a ride.
Conrad Bain and Bonnie Franklin,
tv actors who had white skin.
Paul Blair and Stan The Man,
playing baseball, when they can.
Marcia Wallace and Lisa Robin Kelly,
both had ***** that bounced like jelly.
Tom Clancy wrote famous books,
not much on having good looks.
Cory Montieth and Patti Page,
one died young, other of old age.
Jean Stapleton, was Edith Bunker,
Archie always put her in the dumper.
Pat Summerall and Deacon Jones,
played football and broke some bones.
Dr. Joyce Brothers and Pauline Phillips,
they both gave good and bad tips.
Ray Manzarek, from The Doors,
Jeff Hanneman knew all Slayers chords.
Chrissy Amphlett, liked to touch herself,
Caleb Moore's trophies are on his shelf.
Mindy McCready and George Jones,
both hit those country tones.
Chris Kelly from Kris Kross,
Ed Koch is a New York loss.
David Frost and Roger Ebert,
always had words to insert.
Anneitte Funicello from Mickey Mouse Club,
Eydie Gorme almost got a snub.
Jonathan Winters, was very funny,
to come from Mork's egg, made him money.
If you don't know who these people are,
look them up, internet not very far.
For the ones that I missed,
please don't get to ******.

He's accosted Kim Kardashian, Brad Pritt and Ciara, but red carpet prankster Vitalii Sediuk tried his luck with a much fiercer face on Tuesday.

The Ukrainian journalist approached US Vogue editor, Anna Wintour, outside the Chanel show at Paris Fashion Week.

Wearing a black headdress and glittery sequinned glove, Vitalli broke through the security barriers and ran up to the notoriously icy journalist as she exited the show.

With a microphone in his hand, Vitalli could be seen attempting to get her attention - but nonchalant Anna kept her cool and dismissed the prankster, striding straight past him.

Anna's security stepped in immediately and removed the prankster, who made a peace sign with his hand.

Anna is by no means the first star that Vitalli has pranked.

He famously targetted Kim Kardashian in September last year in the huge crowd that gathered around Kim and her husband Kanye's car as they arrived at the Balmain show at Paris Fashion Week, in which her sister Kendall Jenner was walking.

In bizarre scenes, Vitalii - the prankster who accosted Brad Pitt at the Maleficent premiere in Los Angeles earlier last year - was reported to have pulled Kim's hair [which he denies] and almost knocked the then 33-year-old starlet to the ground, in front of Kanye and her mother Kris Jenner.

Security quickly jumped in and escorted a shocked Kim into the building.

This was just one of the many times the former journalist has had run-ins with celebrities including America Ferrera, Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Lopez.

Brad Pitt recently spoke out about the infamous run in with the now-notorious Sediuk at the Malificent premiere in Hollywood in late May.

The movie hunk said he was forced to defend himself after the Ukrainian television personality tried to 'bury his face in my crotch.'

Brad said he was having a great time mingling with fans on the red carpet, but things soon turned nasty when Sediuk sparked a melee that left the heartthrob with broken sunglasses.

He told People: 'I was at the end of the line signing autographs, when out the corner of my eye I saw someone stage-diving over the barrier at me.

'I took a step back; this guy had latched onto my lapels. I looked down and the ****** was trying to bury his face in my crotch, so I cracked him twice in the back of the head – not too hard – but enough to get his attention, because he did let go.

'I think he was then just grabbing for a hand hold because the guys were on him, and he reached up and caught my glasses.'

The Moneyball star said he likes people to have fun, but argued Sediuk's antics could end up spoiling glamorous Hollywood events for everyone else.

He said: 'I don’t mind an exhibitionist but if this guy keeps it up he’s going to spoil it for the fans who have waited up all night for an autograph or a selfie, because it will make people more wary to approach a crowd. And he should know, if he tries to look up a woman’s dress again, he’s going to get stomped.'

Sediuk was sentenced to 30 days in jail after attacking Brad at the Los Angeles premiere of Maleficent.

He was already on probation for jumping on stage with Jennifer Lopez when he jumped over a crowd barrier at the opening of Angelina Jolie's new film Maleficient and struck Brad

He was charged with assault, battery, unlawful activity at an exhibition and delay of an exhibition, received the jail sentence plus 20 days community labor, 36 months probation and a $220 fine.

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Trying to figure out why a ***** tried to stunt on me.
While my homie fronts on me.
Triggered lie’s blasting out like bullets into your chest, golly!
Vigor dying whilst family crying that left me locked up now in a little celly.
Why did I pour out my heart to that ***** named shelly?
**** got me melancholy, casting out poxy curses.
My proxy is dropping down which got me feeling worthless.
Growing up in projects where one survives by snatching purses and killing snitches.
While society bides their time by tying nooses.
Rigged games yet we are told to give no excuses.
So, a minority got no choice but to role with the punches.
But with darker skin colour most don’t or won’t notice the bruises.
Vile nobility just loves hunting gooses.
Stark contrast idly confides and resides Inside institutionalized nuances.
Some people can be such nuisances.
Got me feeling like tony roaming through the different cosmoses.
Lonely sinking feeling, with my hope which was once flickering but is now slowly fleeting.
Reciprocal tensions pokes through my barriers like an unwelcomed greeting.
Typical tropes of under-achieving maybe it’s time I let God start intervening?
However, I’m doubtful on whether spirituality is real or nothing more than Kris Kringle.
Jingling jester choirs who always be harping on my people.
Which makes me ponder whether or not God’s supposed love is fickle.
Or if supposed believer’s have actually ever read the bible?
Religious pharisee’s not seeing the irony of praying to their falsified idols.
With their heads so far up their own ***. That they don’t even realize that they’ve actually been worshipping the devil.

On Christnas' the childrens of the world will be opening toys.
While we'll be enjoying each other.
Sharing Christmas love.

You'll be my gift.
And I'll be yours.
Who needs anything else?
When we can be one another toy.

I can be jolly.
You can be joy.
As, we sharing Christmas love.

Bells will be ringing.
If we're the only one to hear them.
Angels will be singing.
If privately we are the one listening.
While we sharing Christmas love.

Candles burning.
Lights are radiant.
As shadows of us bounce off the wall.
We just know, we sharing our love on Christmas.

Santa doesn't have to come.
He will only interrupt us.
While we enjoying creating great fun.

So, stay away Kris Kringle.
You'll be putting wrinkles in our plans.
This is the night for a man and his woman.

Manny Pacman won his fight
His 50+ year old fans stand and unite (in Macau because they are the only ones who can afford going there)
Mommy D with her rosary
Looking like she is summoning something
With the shrieks and roars she's committing
Its a good thing she didn't **** anything

The teen peeps in twitter tweeting about the fight
Hoping to get ten rt's or likes
Some are about winning
And others are more of the "internet type"
But who cares? A fight is a fight !

Manny Pacman is now relived
He prayed to God and thanked thee
Now suddenly he is stressed and in distress
Because he needs to think of songs for his upcoming concert

Here in the Philippines
Heroes and villains unite
Police and criminals have a drink
Kris and Boy make more chika
Because it is a bongga day to day
Cuz Manny won the fight

With each poem,
I get closer in becoming a lovable Golem.

So what's hot in the streets
I’m mean
I beat women,
OG
I’ve seen prison
I even eat kittens
We winning
Mr. Kelly met me
he let me *** with him.

I’m so deep with words it could sound like an eternity
one day they will close read my rhymes in every university
I only make vinyls
and I serve emcees that burn CDs,
I’m so undergrounds even my fans haven’t even heard of me,
nah,
I got money son,
all my watches are custom done
by the time
I set the time
my butler comes with another one
I’m gutter son,
the razors in my mouth are just to cut my gums,
My facebook is set to private son
you don’t know where the **** I’m from

Imma poet,
roses are red
Moses ovaries bled
Supernova explodes,
when my pen exposes it led.
I once mounted a soul, when its body was chemically dead,
If you don’t know my poetries dope, its because its going over your head,
nah,

I’m so Hip Hop I crip walk in flip flops,
Imma mix of Rick ross, and lil kris kross,
Imma gang banger
nah,
scratch that, imma backpacker,
rap is just a stepping stone in becoming a bad actor,
imma crack rapper,
actually sponsor by arm and hammer
I **** with some proper grammar
make government propaganda
What ever it takes to get my face in front a hundred cameras
**** rap!
I’ll tell everyone in the stands to throw their hands up,

What I am
should be obvious.

Imma positive rapper I swear my mom is a pastor
I got a pocket quran
I almost read all of the chapters,
and Imma get a couple grammys,
yep and an emmy,
I'm family friendly,
even your old freakin granny gets me.

Back in the day when life gave us lemons
we made lemonade
never straight
never made a track that was second grade
In seventh grade
it was never about getting paid
thats why we spend more money than we ever made,
I used to love it but **** it,
I’m giving up
imma puppet,
I’m anything,
I’m everything, if you got money in your pocket
Congratulations to sponsors on creating a monster
All you haters are just making me stronger

And now all my fans hate me,
They say “I liked you before you were mainstream”
******* so did I somebody should of paid me
Imma Iconic,
byproduct,
And no ones tryna buy product,
Ironic,
want my chronic
but won’t put five on it,
but I promise,
give me an idea and i’ll build it,
I make your eyes pop out of your eye sockets,
so y’all can go ahead and be some hip hop heads,
pressing free download’,
until hip hops dead,
Please,
just keep on spitting
just keep on spitting
make sure you keep on spitting
just keep on spitting
make sure you keep on spitting
just keep on spitting
just keep on spitting
Please!!!