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emzee Mar 2018
There is no one path
That make the fate
When the mind choose that
Which make us sat
Long Nd long Nd long

Every time,,,see that choices
Which bear the poison
There the mind adopt
The worst which fed up

He had a JUMBLING MIND
That make him to the hell

JUMBLING JUMBLING JUMBLING
Variations.. strength
Nat Lipstadt Jun 2023
(and I cannot live
from with-out)

<>
a poem in appreciation to Rossella Di Paolo

<>

I, too:
          - am an embryonic work in progress,
well into my seventh decade, with no ending in sight


                                I too,    
live in the house of poetry, the address likely differs,
but suspect the innards of the houses differs little,
the decor,  quite similar

         - my house shrewdly requests a rethinking,
                                    noting, it lives my artifice,

with in & with out

Then, we are a We:
                                  
          - my cavities house her, She, Poetry is of Ruth (1) born,

          - Poetry, She, reminds me, ”whither thou goest, I will go”


This duality:
          - where the haunting of words providential,
             emanate, both inhabiting & inhibits my breathing
              She, a fearsome creature, a fearful-something,
for it tears me and shreds tears its demands be wrung
from with in to with out

She, Poetry:
          - leaves me gaping, hollow, fills me with
            depressurizing boreholes exposed to the elements  of
            externalities of an admixed atmospheres, that nature demands             be refilled, fresh in, stale out,
for which the artifice trick is knowing which is which

when Poetry’s  birthing:
          - chest pounds, heart-rate beats heavy metal,
            abdomen contracts, there then, no languid in my language,
            no help untangling the alpha-bet jumbling,
            product of the screams of pushing,
squeezing it forth

you’re hoping to quick-catch newly formed combinations,
for if you fail, a poem
noisily crashes to and through the floorboard cracks,
where poetry’s chaotic glinting etes
maliciously glimmer~winks at me
with a sarcastic thank you

“ah, too bad, another creation stillborn,
gone to rest, biting the nether dust,
without hope of resuscitation…”*

just another unfinished work in progress

periodically
a survivor clean caught, transcribed, edited to be finished,
amniotic fluids cleared,
poem resurrected
blessed with eternal life,
readied to be shared and delivered,
affirmed

and you say to no one and to everyone:

this poem will be our poem,
wither it goes, ascending, descending,
all live in the house of poets,
one house,
many apartments,
each poem a god,
and
my God will be our God,
your God, my God,
in the House of Poetry
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4717212/leave-if-you-can-ii-by-rossella-di-paolo/

(1) And Ruth said: “Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee; for whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.

——
Leave if You Can II


I live in the house of poetry.
I ascend her stairs slowly
and leap back down.
I sit in the chair of poetry,
sleep in her bed, eat from her plate.
Poetry has windows
through which mornings and afternoons
fall, and how well she suspends a teardrop
how well she blows until I tumble / With this
I mean to say that
one basket brings
both wounds and bandages.  
I love poetry so much that sometimes I think
I don’t love her / She looks at me,
inclines her head and keeps knitting
poetry.
As always, I’ll be the bigger person.
But how to say it / How to tell her
I want to leave / honestly I want to
fry my asparagus…
I see her coming near
with her bottle of oil
and crazed skillet.
I see her,
her little bundle of asparagus
slipping out her sleeve.
Ah her freshness / her chaotic glint
and the way she approaches with relentless meter.  
I surrender / I surrender always because I live
in the house of poetry / because I ascend
the stairs of poetry
and also because
I come back down.

    — Translated by Lisa Allen Ortiz & Sara Daniele Rivera
A pass in the hallway,
Talking to no one else,
Jumbling up wrdos and pounricnation,
Then willing to spend hours on the phone...
Idk felt this strong urge to finally write this about 13 hours ago but thought about it for a while.
Nat Lipstadt Aug 2013
In a strange mood - see/write art



in a strange way, disorganized but straight on,
light tinted magenta, issuing, in frothy large pours, from my mouth,
knowing what to say, and the meaning too,
I can more than walk, can write, on water,
where all can read weeping, Mary-miracles of seeing, living words,
themselves, on light waves lapping in a
shifting rotunda vision, color reorienting spatial senses.^

in a strange, strange stitch, seasonal spirits and witches,
Chagall, Baez, Dylan Thomas, Donovan, Richie Havens
doing their knitting in my brain, from Montmartre to the Midwest to Monterey,
painters and poets in lockstep head-messing with me,
imperfect clarity but still one voice,
see/write art,
so went and caught the wind, going gently into night
to banish the hodgepodge of uncertainty from inside out.

knowing well you don't understand fully, but jumbling tumbling
verses are sliding off my rusted tongue as fiddlers fly above,
roughened words, hewn from a paper cup, spilling diamonds uncut, imported from Sarajevo, Montparnasse, the Lower East Side.
wretched me, in the hour I first believed, this amalgamated conception conceded,
seceded from my mind into your palate for a tasting,
tho neither drugged, nor deaf and dumb, just slammed poetical-like, this write is
all I have to portend is your affections, your attentions, to yours, am beholden.

a *****, well respected man in daylight,
the hidden references accuse,
woke up to see Wednes-day Caesarian born,
askance glanced at the prior passages of the night before,
when my palate clefted,
when eyes chose not to distinguish
between right and lefted,
in the nightlight,
a ***** man disrespects language convection/convention,
and lays before you activating stanzas and his mind, prone,
but always the truth, speaking,
the visions, leaking, mind to eye,
recombinant, into our minds eye.




^ http://www.guggenheim.org/new-york/exhibitions/on-view/james-turrell


Rather than write extensive notes on the many references, inspirations in this poem, if there is a line that intrigues, ask me
Eve Jul 2022
I have this really amazing friend,
Her name is Radha.
She's great, she deserves the world ♡
She once witnessed me in pain
And she said to me,
"Fairy, get a pen and a book and just start writing.
Anything that bothers you.
Anything you wanna talk about but can't find words to say.
Anything you want out of you,
just write it..."

I admired her approach; it's really great!
'Cause I do write, and it does help...
It helps me to listen to myself clearly,
Without my brain jumbling up my thoughts,
And without my heart shaking in my chest.
But what if she knew,
About the things I write about...
About the things that I constantly think about,
About the things I dream about,
The things I ache about?
What if she knew,
**** even the things that I laugh about,
About the things I can't say out loud,
About the things I burden this site about..?
What if she knew?

-fir.m
Thank you Radha, for being your best ♡ I love you.
Patricia Drake Feb 2013
An anarchist atom
Assaults the atmosphere
With anger and aerial arson
Bringing, begetting
Brutal and ****** battles
In my brain
Initiating chaos
With charges
Of chemicals.
A disection,  distortion
Diversion of dedication
And direction
Causing eruptions
Emissions
Of erratic, electric elements
Of ego.
Ferocious fires form
In filaments, firmaments
Feeding the fantastic
Forces
Which grow and gain
In greatness in gravity
Grave, gory, gorgeous
Gloom.
Henceforth hidden horrors
Harrowed in a hollow heart
Instantly interact with
Intimate ideas
Initiating irregular, irrational
Irreversible
Irrelevant
Intimacy
Jealousy
Jumbling of jinxes
And laws of the jungle
For kicks
Leading to lies
Leaving love for loneliness
Loss.
A massive moral meltdown
In my mind
Negating, neutralising
normality
Orchestrates an open
Onslaught of order
And ordinary
People's principles
To pursue passion
And perfection
In a poetic periphery
Quite queer to some
And quaint to those
Not acquainted with
Rushes of ramblings
Received and reciprocated
Or radical ridicule
Of rascals.
Synapses send,
Signal every sinew
Simulating similar signs
But transmitting treacherous
Tingles
Teasing,  trapping thoughts
In terror, temptations
To commit treason
Unforgivable,  unforgettable
Us
Vivid and vibrant
But also very
Woeful
Wishing we were wild
And willing to walk
Our wishes make wonderful
Wells of
Youth
And creative zest.
the dead bird Jul 2017
My desire:

When you danced your way
into my life,
you brought with you
a light;
one which illuminated
the scene around it.

A world -
which was previously
burdened
by imperative darkness -
now exposed to my sight.

Your magnificence
consequently
revealed
the beauty in my own world:
one which I had forgotten,
one which I had
closed the doors upon -
deeming happiness
impossible to find.

I suppose,
what I'm trying to say
is:
you are the light of my life.
But somehow,
those words don't serve justice.

None of my words
serve
justice
to how I feel for you.

Those
nights,
the
music,
mood,
dancing -

are what
I imagine
my heaven
would be.

We could be anywhere -
I could have
nothing
to my name
except black lipstick
and a tenacious heart -
whenever
I'm with you,
I know it's the only place
I need to be.

I wish I could tell you
how you take me
out of this world -
but habitually,
I find it
difficult
to communicate
the music of my heart.

Perhaps,
it's because
alongside
my poor choice of words
and
jumbling of sentences;

whenever
I look into your eyes
the only thought
I can be sure of,
is that
you have the most beautiful face
I have ever seen.

And when you smile -
forget anything
I had on my mind -
your smile
is the kind you read about;
one that makes people
want to do right,
one that
melts away worry;
one
that makes people
fall in love.
a little too intense but ya digggg
Elsbeth Poe Dec 2013
Closing your eyes
You hear a blonde
With blue eyes
American born and raised
California Valley girl
One nation, "Oh my God!"
Where women are invisible
Without a body deemed pleasant for all

You have no excuse
The sun's up there to lighten your hair
To darken your skin
"Why are you staying in?"
"Reading Sci-fi? Is that like Twilight?"
A mind full of worlds of fantasy
Where I went to escape this society

When other girls were in bikinis
I was in shorts down to my knees
Hiding thighs I felt ashamed by
******* in my belly and chin
Before I reached the age of ten

With numbers jumbling in my head
Given constant reminders
Of how dumb I was then
School meant stress
And tests
All those systems
Based on competition
Made my insides squeeze
Confidence was something foreign
I could not achieve

Words like "ugly" and "stupid"
Inducing tear soaked knees
Or was my hazy brain and pain
From the lack of food in my stomach those days
For years I continued to throw it away
While my girlfriends would eat and eat all day
The same amount was weight I'd gain

"You should go out for dance or swim!"
Full of formfitting uniforms I was made fun of in

Maybe that's why I have a soft spot
For all our patriotic jiggly kids
Especially round little girls
In a man driven world
Of "achieve and succeed"
Led to believe
The worth of a woman
Only lies in her body
In beautiful eyes
In perfect teeth
And long thick hair
In her physical potentials to make males stare

Comments about my perceived beauty
Never made me feel at ease
Why would people choose only to see
All of the things that do not make me me

In youth
"She's so cute!"
Then suddenly
You're a ****** object
From the age of thirteen
"They're compliments!"
"Say thank you"
To cars that shout
And men that stare
To whistling lips
And grabbing hands
Taking Innocence
With these my widening hips

In patriarchy
The Land of the Free
Has yet to mean equality
My country made it clear to me
Girls and boys don't start side by side
Like my bother I wanted a skateboard to ride
Not his face
But his interests
Were how he was defined
While I was told
My mind was of a different size

Still I never stopped running
And managed to find
This hidden word
"Objectified"
-To regard as a thing
-Disregarding feelings

This societal demise
Violent crimes on the rise
With women not often the ones taking lives
I almost can't blame them
When they do as they see
When men are taught they need power
Not regard or empathy

At fourteen
A tall man in leather
Chased me
Kidnap or ****
I was his for the take
Though I managed to flee
That fear cut me deep
And I knew in that moment
Strength was something I'd need

Now as girls we're taught we're fragile
But let's go back again
Back as far as I remember
I longed to roughhouse with men

When I wanted to join the wrestling team
They thought that of course I must be joking
Laughing at the idea of a girl with the desire to do
One more thing
Meant for the boys
"Not you"

To this day when I strike my Rosie posie
Riveting muscles put proudly on display
They chuckle at my love to do push ups each day

"It's not ladylike to show you have strength"
"It's not **** to be a woman who's strong"
"Muscles on girls look weird and wrong"
"Don't intimidate men"
"They prefer women thin"

But we all know that's not how it's always been.
Just take a look at Marilyn
American curves they used to define beauty and grace
But Hollywood only gave her the role of young blonde with no brains

In the melting *** of the U.S.A.
A melding of women of all shapes and age
A stew that's consistent of quite the array
But yet there's just one type of ******* display
And it's ******* time that ******* change

America's the beautiful?
What a stupid form of praise.

E.Poe
*Dec 2013
Congruent paths never perfectly intersect at any length, But are almost always nearly identical.

We may be parallel but the world has set us completely at odds.

Miles separate the **** near touching lines.

Aspirations and dreams is spreading the distance between me and you.

But those same goals and desires is what's keeping us even closer.

These trails that have already been tread, keeping intentions at a minimal.

Cascades of doubt breeze through the plains of blond wheat.

Slightly obscuring any trace that point A has left going to point B.

My animal like nature will soon arch our parallel lines.

Jumbling up any existence of any path previously taken.

All except for one.



Yet here I am, again waiting for that day that our lines will converge.

Hopelessly waiting for our worlds to be much more symmetrical.
Lizzie Nov 2017
Him
His smile warms me, as I melt into his embrace...
Leaning into him, my head on his chest,
Drifting to the lull of his heartbeat as he caresses my hand...
His head on mine... Jumbling my thoughts...
He sings in choir, his voice lulling my mind into a peaceful sleep ...
Unfinished but here's what I got so far...
My friend asked me –
“Tell me why do you always come here in the park?
And sit right here until the dark!
Plus what’s so special about this diary
That you read it every day without getting tiery!”

And I replied-
“My friend this isn’t just a diary rather a hope that I keep
Hope on to my faith for love of mine which is deep
And now as you ask, let me tell you how it all started
How my love story was crafted.

It’s her diary which I found
While walking in this park on the ground
I opened it and could read
Her thoughts which her heart bleed

The diary stated-
“I saw him today and my body was on heat
My eyes became still while my heart skipped a beat
His words appeared like music to my ears as he spoke and glance
Over me to which all my heart did was dance

I wasn’t really a love at first sight thing
But his presence could make my mind to blink
I wasn’t able to recognise or even think
As my mind and heart weren’t sharing a link

But as I planned to walk away
I just wish to see him again on my way
Again so that my mind gets the answer
Who had now become my heart’s dancer.”

“After I read this, my friend I thought
Who was she but on turning the page- Kate Jensen, name I caught.
And as I read further I could understand
What was going on Kate heart’s land.

Further-
“Dear diary” it said
“I am so confused over all this as my head
Is jumbling my thoughts away
Why isn’t anything happening to tell me the right way?

It has now have been almost a week since
I met him and now I almost feel like doing the sin
Of falling in love with him
But still my heart’s been searching for answers since I met him.

I don’t want much but just another chance
A chance, so that I get another of his glance.
Of course I love him and want him too,
And say those three words- I LOVE YOU!!”

My friend said-
“But my pal you don’t even know this girl,
And still cherish this diary like a pearl.
I mean why do you even bother to look?
Or have you fallen in love with the person who wrote this book?”

I replied-
“My friend that’s the question I ask myself too,
But as for now I would probably say yes I do.
Just as she fell for one stranger,
I too have fallen in love with her without seeing any sign of danger

Though I haven’t seen her but I know
That I’d see her soon, until then I can hope so
And I know when I’ll find her my whole world would glow
And I’ll love her even if she says ‘no’”

“Well my friend it’s getting late so I think I should leave
But I hope you find your love, as today being Valentine’s Day eve.
And I am sure you’ll find your love
And I’ll soon see you both paired like two doves.”

My friend left and I again sat there until the dark
Then afterwards I started to leave, waiting for another date
Felt disheartened, as again I couldn’t find her,
But as I started to leave, a voice called out- ‘Sir’

The voice said-
“I know sir that this is late,
But I am searching for my diary, as I am Kate.
I lost it a few days back,
While I was searching for my love, which I think now I lack.”

I turned around and only I could see
My love standing, unlocking my heart like a key.
But on seeing me she too became numb
Seemed like her heart had again started to beat which had become dumb.

We both stared into each other
Even the snow falling cold didn’t seem to bother
I found my ‘her’ and she found hers ‘him’
We both didn’t know what to do as our minds had become dim.

I said-
“I am Richard, miss and you are Kate!
I have been searching for you for so many dates.”
But before I could say anything further she paced towards me
Later we both were into each other as I see.

She said-
“Richard, you have been the one I have been searching
As I have fallen in love with you since the day I saw you without even knowing.
This diary is all what I have written for you,
And before you say anything I want to say- I love you.”  

My ears were absolutely something like honey
Even though it was night but I could find my night becoming sunny.
Her meeting me was something indescribable
Something more than any words which I could scribble.

I held her hands and said looking in her eyes
But looking at which I could only take sighs.
“Miss Kate, just like you I too have been searching for you,
And as you have said it first- I love you too.”

Then kneeling on my knees I asked just out of the line
“Dear Kate, will you be my Valentine?”
And we both had the answer guess,
It was nothing more than a beautiful ‘yes’

Her eyes widened as my breadth shortened
And for that moment nothing mattered more
As we both had just found our share of love to our heart’s core.

She held me as I did the same
And probably this love story might even seem to be lame.
But our love story got a happy ending as my heart found its dove,
It all happened just because two people like us fell in love,
And at last all I can say is that this was my story of love.
I really love this one. I actually intended it to be a good theme for my novel but just couldn't so i made it into a poetry. It is very special and close to me. Though I am not quite a believer of love but certain pieces like this makes me wanna try!
beth winters Jan 2011
'
my loose hair hides in the pockets of my clothes
calves and elbows jumbling tiredly along the gravel path
that leads to the road
that leads to the only quiet place
left in a city

the strands close their eyes individually so i can dress
the blinds are plastic
and it's too bright to nail a blanket over them
so i make pancakes
and sleep

blond hugs the black of my coat and declares illness
washington doesn't have a secretary of commonwealth
which means the question is blank
i apologise for the punctuation titles lately. it's better than a weak one.
Jagari Mukherjee May 2012
The flavor of lemons is bitter -
That’s why I don’t need the mints;
I locked away your blue sweater
With the lint still on the pillow.

I looked into the sea and saw the stars
Saltier than the tears and the lemon ****
We shared in the tearoom on that last Sunday –

There is a dry blue rose in the closet all pressed and crumbling.
Blind agony stumbles in frustration; your presents are my poison -
Now the porcelain needs dusting, the Valentines are jumbling.
Kerri Jan 2016
The feathery touch
Of your skin
Is so sincere and warm
My blood starts throbbing beneath.
The bond between
Our hearts
Is strongly entwined
Obtaining a new truth.
Your breath,
Your touch,
Your gaze,
All drive me sanely mad
I no longer choke
On my own loneliness
Because you are my new clarity,
Igniting a flame in my soul,
Jumbling the insides
Of my stomach
In some chaste way.
I'm naive to your potency,
The fool...
Letting your love
Stain my heart
With no regrets.
A poem I wrote when I was 17
9.
There is no easy way out.
Finding solace in cigarettes,
malice in each intent.
When we kiss and flash,
I taste snow and ash-
slippery, salty blood lust.
4 a.m galaxies and gold speckled chains.
The thud in your lungs and the flood in my veins.

Adjusting my pace simply to make space
for the passing of strangers I'll quickly erase.
From my celestial mind and my unaligned spine.
While these battered boots pitter patter
atop the gum splattered streets,
Where I silently succumb to an alarming defeat.

You,
jumbling and juggling my thoughts-
they cling like sweaty icicles in the their last dying breath.

You, me, we.
Naked on a patch of empty mattress
Everything too symbolic to possibly process
Standing solitary in unison
beneath the draining translucent sink above
a degree too warm, my skin blushing on accident-
insides tangled and squirming
when that warm wet hand wrapped itself so delicately
around an unremembered segment of skin .
a stray fingertip racing up my thigh,
my throat clasping at the shudder
as i glance into those boring brown eyes

"I don't **** people I respect."

But this was a truth that was too soon broken,
I was disguised, misguided and easily cloaked when
the eyes I knew from a childish fluke
swept me
into a bed of nails that i thought
would protect me

you, me, we-
behind a rubber duck shower curtain
in the spotlight of the stage
where the x's had been taped
i was made certain a foolish damsel in distress
to each falsified caress.

but in those last fleeting moments
where the memory's page
starts to curl and break
you reached your arms out to me
and like damp sheets in the breeze of my body
we take our final plunge for all to see
and we lower to our knees
to scrub the smudges in between.
Arabella Nov 2013
From body to box,
Sunday brought back the reminder that death,
is the only thing permanent in this world.

Tears burning a hole in my heart, thinking back of days
in which I was dying to die,
and what for?

I have yet to figure out why we
live, or what I'm supposed to
do. The complication of that thought
processing through my anxious mind
drives monsters in my stomach
and brain
to start tearing their ways out.
Leaving each new finger print
a face to forget, and each new sent
one to remember.


I'm confused,
as to why we bury what we love under
dirt, but really
why the box?

Why not let our remains be the sprout
to courageous wildflowers and
sweet nectar.


The past four years have brought change in
everyone, and everything loved. Battling with myself
for rights and wrongs and unknown
crumbling pavement.

Haunted with "Where will I go when I die?"
Who's to say when I'm dead, because by my definition
that was April 18th.


These questions
and jumbling
blurred
thoughts
pour out of my eyes, mouth, nose, and ears
Imitating some sort of overflowing volcano
of insanity.
Erin Melody Jul 2013
in the doorway
the floorspace between
your feet and my
jumbling path
i've become deaf to
whatever ways of love i used to know
in all the terrain that surrounds me
the only way is up
up towards your eyes
up towards the stars

i'm lost in the electricity
of each clever sound sliding from your
lips i can't quit
wrapped in your arms i become
mesmerized by your heartbeat
your chest is my pillow
your skin is my lullaby
you are the peace
that sings away my anxiety

your soft shoulders hold
a freckled galaxy
i love to find constellations
as you slowly breathe
i love to kiss each speck of soft pigment
and press my cheek against
all my favorite parts of you
i'm smitten with your skin
and up towards
your smiling moonlight eyes
i love to catch you watching me
i love to watch you loving me
Kelsey Greene Jan 2014
Grade school:
Doing anything to become popular.
Hurting those I would later find out were my true friends.
Uttering words that would
Cut deeper than any blade could.

Depression:
Something I now claim was just a phase.
(What a farce)

High school:*
Struggling,
                                             To give a ****,
                                             To find new friends,
                                             To keep the old.
Struggling,
                                             To hold onto those I loved,
Watching them slip through my fingers.

Depression:
No one knew.
My mask?
Perfected.

Social anxiety:
My mask starts to crack.
The crazy starts to show.
My friends,
They start to leave.


College:
Finally, I am myself.
                                             New job.
                                             New friends.
                                             Understanding.
Life is good.

Forgetting:
                                             The obsessions,
                                             The anxiety,
                                             The depression.
You:  
Slowly deteriorating.
Obsessions,
Creeping back.
                                             What are you doing?
                                             Are you with her?
Did you even care for me?
                                             Yes,
                                             No,
                                             Only for a short while?

How to become better,
To look better,
To think better,
To act better,
To be more talented,
To be more like her,
To be better than her,
To be good enough for you.
You.

The anxiety:
Consuming my mind.
Jumbling it up,
Unable to think,
Or rather to many thoughts to think through.  

Depression:
Sinking in.
Ideas of ending it all,
Surfacing,
(Once again.)
Mask starting to form.  

And I thought I was getting better.
Emily Coon Oct 2010
Tell me things I want to hear,
Whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
Voice like velvet, smooth and fine,
Ask me softly "Will you be mine?"
Cradle me close hold on tight,
This is the day its time for flight.
Into the unknown come on lets go,
Jumping down the rabbit hole.
Tumbling, jumbling,oh what fun!
And to think our adventure's only begun.
Come with me and you'll see,
All the possibilities.
Break these chains, come be free,
Away from our old enemies.
Share with me all you are,
Take a chance we'll go far.
Nat Lipstadt Nov 2014
this composition
(not this one)

but the p r o c e s s

a within discovery
so radicalizing

composing himself
this body, this breadth,
this work, of untangling,
slight light shapes,
enfusing, suffusing,
even parts defusing,
but all a
cold fusion,
of body,
of breadth

some, unguarded, tumbling,
some, guarded, jumbling,
all shockingly emergent,
most shocking
to himself, this
decomposing of
composing,
his body, his breadth,
t his process,
t his work,
t his hymn,
this of him,
body and breadth
Oedipus and Sam Shepard at 2:40AM
sayona Apr 2014
i cannot
and will not
sit here and speak to you
in metaphors and similes
like he did to me
because i know that you will not even come close to understanding
but neither am i gonna sit here
and zip up my mouth and lock it up
just to throw away the key and keep quiet.
but again,
i also cannot
and will not
speak to you in simplicity because
it is NOWHERE near that simple.
i am speaking nonsense
and you probably think that i'm just
jumbling letters together to create words
and having them just roll off of my tongue
but i swear to you that i'm not
i'm trying to make sense
i swear
but my thoughts aren't quite coming together
so maybe i'll just talk until they do
this is quite ironic actually
because i may be rambling,
but my feet are really, really cold.
this probably wont make any sense to you. sorry.
ALK Jun 2013
So it begins,
that song comes on.
It's not attached to any one event,
no breakup or loss.
It's just intrinsically sad.
It doesn't way upon the soul,
or displace the mind.
It causes a sadness,
not like a madness or depression.
It's too clean for that.
I'm not implying that they are *****,
or bad.
No, they are just torn and tattered,
much like the old blanket they make you want to bury yourself in,
to hide where daylight will never seep in.
Rather this sadness is crystalline,
a pure movement of emotion.
A product of dark and shimmering beauty,
much akin to tears,
the ones that roll slowly down one's cheek
as the song goes on.
This sound,
this jumbling of frequencies,
an phonemes.
Words that mean so little upon listening,
but so much upon LISTENING,
and melodies played upon a machine.
This song about choices,
about struggling, about strength.
This perfect sound,
this glimmering song,
is life.
I wrote this while listening to the beautifully dark songs of the Swedish post-pop group Twiggy Frostbite, I'd give them a listen if I were you and I had some time to just sit, shut my eyes, and LISTEN.
A Machele Dec 2012
an electric pulse
a scattered bomb
an itching, aching alarm
lost in the reverie
a music-less melody
fumbling, jumbling
a messy rumbling
god-given grace and appeal
fortune & fame, i must steal
solemnly endowed
no way to figure out
hidden, her secret must never come out
5. dec 12
fort myers fl
My body pushed you down
as our weight carried
by gravity like a leaf
falling and swinging,
gentle, slowly, we dance
with my existence all over
you like a balloon filled
with air, and you pulled me,
into you, down your throat,
until little doubts, our escape,
choked you, as you removed
the sheets of innocence
around your lace, from your arms,
down to your pants
opened the zipper, you’ve let me
in, into you, deeper, then out,
same pattern, same routine,
growing music, little moans
like birds humming at night
with coldness covering warmth,
bodies burning, igniting time,
we held hands, jerking, jumbling,
our fingers played, lips stir,
no more butterflies in stomach,
but stones swallowed settling,
and there was you, and I,
dreams we have created,
evaporating with sweat,
oozing with fluids, swelling,
spilling all over the bed
like tiny dews from cold glasses,
we were both cold, like ice,
but we melt, touch by touch,
over and over again.
I am the jumbling
the mumbling man
escaping gas of thoughts that pass into the night.
I burn the midnight sun that oils the gatling gun that chats incessantly and I believe that this is me.
I am conquistador
Quixote wanting more
I am the situation needing close examination somewhat of an exclamation mark
I am the dark.
Can you tell me what are colors

When all is dark as far as I can see?

Can you describe to me what are feelings

When every day and minute

Pass as cullers of my emotions

Leaving only their mark

All the shades of confusion

Amidst the searing pain?

Just because you can’t see scars

Doesn’t mean

I’m not all cut up inside,

Tearing at my insides

To get out of myself

Because the world

Is not just black and white

But all kinds of hues

Of malign and sinister,

Jumbling my thoughts

About what is or isn’t,

Blurring fact and fiction

In everything I learn,

And if I can’t find clarity

In the HD of reality,

And you can’t ever

For me construe or define

All that lacks definition and meaning,

This flowering happyguuurl

Will never fully unfurl…

APAD13 005 - © okpoet
Happy girl misspelling is intentional as this poem was follower requested and dedicated, and that is their user name.
Lauren Palmer Jul 2012
Your'e going to have to try harder than that,
way harder.
The words you say just
go right through.
I've heard them a million times before,
and how could I not?
With all the guys I've been with
it's hard to remember who's-who.
Was it John or Drew
that gave the bear for Valentine's Day
or was that at the fair or zoo?
But anyways, it doesn't matter now.
It's you and me,
right now,
in my room
and even though you're a different guy,
there's nothing new.
I mean, I wish this time could be special,
but it's not.
I don't feel like it is,
and I don't have a girlfriend
to call and share my thoughts.
Well, maybe I should just give up on this
because I'm staring you down
and you're probably wondering
what my thoughts are
jumbling around.
I'll just say nothing-again.
Any you'll say "okay",
and I'll hope to God I'll be just that the next day,
because I want you to try harder,
I'll try harder to-
But I have to start with me,
not you.
zebra Jun 2019
hot and close
i **** the moon
in her dusted bell of caves
and notched noir crotch

she got red like a thirsty knife
in flames oval then thin
till the blood candied
into sugar fruit
and I drew strength from her dreams
those teaming gutters of the moon

***** boys with **** and thick with makeup
watch like laughing hyenas
through a winking diorama
of jumbling ***** and kicking feet
in shades of lunar water

oh this compulsive dream
me touching myself
kissing her golden apple ****
tabernacle of liquid jewels
curled split
jam slammed

this haunting mirage of desire
desire; born from having nothing

holding her face
tongue to tears
a lighted loon of sadness
cascades through fingers like bone dust
and i fall into myself

molasse's seep and gather
in a stone sea of wet music

vapor of darkness
mad nag hunger growls
meet me now!
Sometimes when I'm texting Kara
I lose faith in my own words
think it's a good idea to just keep pushing the suggested words button on my phone
Until it keeps repeating itself.

I enter a smiley Face
then let my phone, Lets call him Gary.
Let gary type his feelings out.

"Smiley face. **** sleep! I love you, you just don't need to make them hate you.
when you're done. I wouldn't recommend going home. You'll find that it's rather. . . . . . . ."

As you can imagine,
That did not help my case much.
in the context that this was 3am
she was angry.
And gary left a lot of explaining to do
Like who exactlly does she not need to make hate her?
Her homes rather what?
What the **** are you doing to Karas home Gary?

I'm not always texting Kara when I ride the suggested word generator to lazy random salvation though.

Sometimes I ask it for life advice.

I can just type it questions like
"why do i have toes?"
And it will come out with:
why do i have toes the same time as my grandma was dying and
I was losing my job so Tinder
has kind of been my way of escaping the darkness of my situation
my getting to meet new people and
having tons of awesome dates / adventures / and *** in my car
* glad you came - the wanted * During *** in my car
* glad you came - the wanted * During *** in my car
* glad you came - the wanted * During *** in my car.

And I can't help but assume that it's trying to tell me it understands me.
Or maybe that it's smarter than me.
And is predicting my future.
By warning about my past.

Sometimes friends ask Questions i haven't even answered for myself yet like:
how do I quit drinking coffee? or
how do i stop being an *******?
so I just go consult Gary.

How do you stop cheating on your girlfriend? I enter into garys think box

How do you stop cheating on your girlfriend?
I have a job for you. Men! Escort our guests.
the night pitch black
No moon in the sky.
few stars due to the city of the day?
What kind of music do you like?
what does your bedroom look like?
[ once you're confident in your hot button picture ]
And THAT'S really why you swiped right today, isn't it ( their name )?
[ Wait for response ] Right! So what days are you usually free?
[ Wait for response ] Right! So what days are you usually free?
[ Wait for response ] Right! So what days are you usually free?

I Think Gary just suggested that using tinder for men will stop the urge to cheat.
I have a strange feeling he gives bad advice.
Gary is in my head.
Gary is my head.
He is taking all of my own words
jumbling them all up
And spitting them back out at me

It's almost as if he were programed to do so.

Gary speaks for me when I lose faith in my own words.
Because i have faith in his ability to craft my old words into something laughable.
He does a good job.
I do a good job.
I have a job for you.
Deepali Jun 2019
Entering into the old age
Years passing like a boardgame
One dice of 3 other dice of 6
Gliding gliding all we sight.
Miracles are strange,
No such happiness so easily to gain
Jumbling and cumbling all our way
I tried to be and stay.
Still darkness never lead me aside
Its our journey of life.
Its tough journey right now, but i hope i find a good path.
Strung Jun 2019
Do you notice?
Jumbling tumbling out of line
With glasses pressed to nose
Too scared to show my eyes
Nervous tick of pressing them
closer into skin
As if it hides me...
—I guess it does
Because who would speak
To someone without eyes?
Confidence building is a *****
Peyton L Aug 2019
There's nothing quite like
the jumbling, tumbling feeling
of butterflies underneath my skin
whenever we talk.
The creeping blush that radiates my face and ears
my giggles and words stumble out of mouth
and I can hardly contain myself
whenever I see your face.

Something about you
makes my heart race and knees weak.
If you ever brushed your fingertips
against mine
I might implode from happiness
and get my giddy guts everywhere.
Your existence, just the fact that you're alive
makes my soul sing.

A simple thought straying from the rest
will easily find you and not let go.
One moment I'll be taking notes in class
and another I'll be staring off into space
smiling like an idiot because I couldn't keep my mind off you.
My soul sings a lovely little song when I think of you
it's full of hauntingly beautiful melodies made in major
the song is continuously stuck in my head.

Last night, I nearly burst into flames.
Your sweet words doused me in gasoline,
the liquid soothing and warm
and I know if I had gone aflame,
I would not have burned.
The flames of infatuation didn't completely evade me
as our conversation lead into twilight
I hope pillow talk is not all that's fated for us.
liza Jan 2015
We're whispering now because it's late. The sleepier her voice, the quieter it gets. Is it safe now to say all the words that wait at the pit of my stomach to lunge at my throat when you sleepily whisper "goodnight liz". All the words that don't yet make sense and even some without much reason. Fluttering with the wings of my nervous butterfly's, jumbling every good thing I've ever thought to say.
Does she even want to hear?
Would it scare her away?
Am I just anxiety stricken with a low self esteem?
But does she maybe wish to say them as well? (Hm)
I can feel the hair raising all over my body. My mouth drying. My heart beating.
And ****, I've got nothing. Nothing but the sound of her fan squeaking and the hum hum hum she makes before she drifts off.
Alex Knight Feb 2014
You
I don't know what it is about you
No one's ever made me feel quite like this

Call you Haley, Athena, Fawn, Chere...it doesn't matter to me, really
Wasn't it Shakespeare who said "A rose is still a rose by any other name?"
I'm quoting that wrong, I'm sure,
but you have a way of jumbling my words

All I know it that you are you,
and I want nothing more than you
Love isn't a cure for sickness,
of that I am aware
But I want to help in any way I can
because your happiness is the world to me

My dear princess, may I be your shining knight?
The one who protects you from the monsters?
Life is no fairy tale, I know,
but God
Happily ever after only exists with you
I remember this was the first thing I wrote you, and now we don't even talk. I have no idea where you are, but I think I need you more than ever. I wish you'd come back. It's getting bad again, and I wish my happiness would return.
Quinn Feb 2017
i was recently told that i'm no poet,
that my words don't evoke art or understanding,
that i haven't grown much, so i took that and chewed it
until it fed my insides and turned my eyes outward on
a world that i haven't dug into at all with words left
jumbling around in a brain used for other means,
i've been forcing my hands and heart to mold this world into a better place,
but without my words what capture will i leave behind, what legacy?

i marched with womxn last month, alone and surrounded by 140,000
others who gabbed and growled about a man with tiny
hands who employs those who want to take control of our reproductive rights,
and wants to throw some of us out of the country, and **** us in the streets,
but the white ladies behind me were more concerned with their clever signs
than the native's plight for their land and the black lady's murdered babies and the burkas being ripped off of women trying to buy skirts in a walmart

i guess i have a hard time finding my america in all of this mess -
i'm a white woman, but i didn't vote for trump
does that make me different? does that make me woke?
i want to join arms and resist with everyone who's ever felt
like they're less than because of something they were born being,
but i'm still not quite sure how to shine solidarity without seeking recognition

i think we all desire ego to be stroked, but how can i want for that
when some people just wish to live? i look long and hard at myself everyday
after too many hours reading about the chaos and sadness so readily
accessed at keyboards stroked by too quick fingertips, the tears they
come and the heart lays heavy, but what do i do? i rally other white folks
to march, i try to change their hearts, i explain what being an ally looks like,
i work in the communities that need it most, i love the children who feel alone,
but i wonder how much of this is for me and how much of it is true love

i'm learning, growing, changing always, but fear holds me in a place between
truly giving and giving just to fill my own cup, the world has changed and the
little girl who stood up to bullies still sits inside of my heart, but the bullies are
corporations, and the president, and coworkers, and family members, and
friends at a super bowl party, so i've got to find a way to be strong with my
solidarity no matter who, what, where, why, when, because this matters and i don't
want to be that person standing up only to put it on instagram, no i want to
affect real change, to be a part of history, to truly love all of my fellow human kind

i want to give from a place of caring without condition, a place that sees color, sees faith, sees gender identity, sees ****** orientation, sees *** work, sees disabled folk,
and doesn't pretend that their story is one that i understand and echo because
i have ovaries and know what it feels like to be frightened, no, i can't put my ******
on a pedestal and use it as a badge of courage anymore, it's time to open my heart
and ears and truly be humbled in the honorary process of letting myself learn

just because i've felt real fear, doesn't mean i know anyone else's fear, and the only
way that i will come to be a true empath, a true ally, a true warrior is if i learn to quiet
the voice within my head and listen when others speak from their darkest depths,
i must build my strength, my bonds, my heart, my mind so i can lift those up, serve as a megaphone for the voices quieted by men in uniform and suits, pound the pavement as a truly intersectional, solidarity-filled sister of every man, woman, child, they/them, that has ever felt alone, that has ever wanted for more, that has ever been denied
the privilege that i benefit from just by living, as a white woman in this world

— The End —