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"judgments" poems
As insecure toddlers, we were often told by our parents that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. This is how they were able to instill in us the confidence we may have today, whenever we represent ourselves in front of other people. However, this is something I find to be quite inaccurate.  If you ask a random person about what they find beautiful and attractive, most of them would probably begin to describe a person’s physical attributes than the internal attributes. Beauty is defined to be the perfect balance and harmony with nature, which may lead to feelings of attraction and emotional well-being. Since the attraction is subjective, the term “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” takes place. Many individuals would like to believe that looks are never important, and that judgments should be based on a person’s internal well-being instead of its outer counterparts. In our modern society, external beauty is more favorable since everything becomes more convenient, than when you only have internal beauty. People will always see your external beauty the moment they see you and not that beautiful mind and soul of yours, and that’s what makes them attracted to you. Just like with expensive cars, the moment a car is put into the market, the consumer who will buy them would first look at their exterior first before they would look for its driving ability; no matter how good its performance may be, these people would always look at its exterior. Also, external beauty can help you be successful, it can land you jobs, earn more money, and help you be treated with more respect by strangers than those with internal beauty. The preference for external beauty than internal beauty is what is wrong in our current society. We live up to the evolved norms of society that we have started to grow backwards. Outer beauty fades, and no matter how beautiful you are on the outside, once people get to know you, you’d be nothing but a simple less attractive human being than you once were. I would leave a wonderful quote here written by a great author: “A tree may look as beautiful as ever; but when you notice the insects infesting it, and the tips of the branches that are brown from disease, even the trunk seems to lose some of its magnificence.”
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Jul 24, 2016
Jul 24, 2016 at 7:55 PM UTC
Why is outer beauty seen to be more attractive than inner beauty?
As insecure toddlers, we were often told by our parents that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. This is how they were able to instill in us the confidence we may have today, whenever we represent ourselves in front of other people. However, this is something I find to be quite inaccurate.  If you ask a random person about what they find beautiful and attractive, most of them would probably begin to describe a person’s physical attributes than the internal attributes. Beauty is defined to be the perfect balance and harmony with nature, which may lead to feelings of attraction and emotional well-being. Since the attraction is subjective, the term “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” takes place. Many individuals would like to believe that looks are never important, and that judgments should be based on a person’s internal well-being instead of its outer counterparts. In our modern society, external beauty is more favorable since everything becomes more convenient, than when you only have internal beauty. People will always see your external beauty the moment they see you and not that beautiful mind and soul of yours, and that’s what makes them attracted to you. Just like with expensive cars, the moment a car is put into the market, the consumer who will buy them would first look at their exterior first before they would look for its driving ability; no matter how good its performance may be, these people would always look at its exterior. Also, external beauty can help you be successful, it can land you jobs, earn more money, and help you be treated with more respect by strangers than those with internal beauty. The preference for external beauty than internal beauty is what is wrong in our current society. We live up to the evolved norms of society that we have started to grow backwards. Outer beauty fades, and no matter how beautiful you are on the outside, once people get to know you, you’d be nothing but a simple less attractive human being than you once were. I would leave a wonderful quote here written by a great author: “A tree may look as beautiful as ever; but when you notice the insects infesting it, and the tips of the branches that are brown from disease, even the trunk seems to lose some of its magnificence.”
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Society's strange, Throwing out judgments that make us want to change You'll skip a meal to meet their expectations A few more after that to see how far you'll go They'll ask you why you're not hungry And you'll make up some excuse They'll take the words slipping off your thin cold lips, as you look at the food on your plate but instead choosing the water in small sips They'll catch on to the weight you've lost the past few months The food you've tossed along with your old-beautiful thoughts They'll seek to find you help, and you'll turn away believing this is "natural beauty" Weeks go by and you're suffering more then ever, You see yourself as something this world would never Society's strange, Throwing out judgments that make us want to change Believing the judgment is hard to ignore, But never seeing yourself as beautiful is more un-healthy then my words before
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May 1, 2014
May 1, 2014 at 9:58 PM UTC
Beautiful
Perhaps I want everything: the darkness that comes with every infinite fall and the shimmering blaze of every step up. So many live on and want nothing, and are raised to the rank of prince by the slippery ease of their light judgments. But what you love to see are faces that do work and feel thirst. You love most of all those who need you as they need a crowbar or a *** You have not grown old, and it is not too late to dive into your increasing depths where life calmly gives out its own secret. *Rainer Maria Rilke / The Book of the Hours (translated by Robert Bly: German)* S T, 20 July 2013
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Jul 20, 2013
Jul 20, 2013 at 10:38 AM UTC
"You see, I want a lot" ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
When you find yourself drowning in self-hate, you have to remind yourself that you weren’t born feeling this way. That at some point in your journey, some person or experience sent you the message that there was something wrong with who you are, and you internalized those messages and took them on as your truth. But that hate isn’t yours to carry, and those judgments aren’t about you. And in the same way that you learned to think badly of yourself, you can learn to think new, self-loving and accepting thoughts. You can learn to challenge those beliefs, take away their power, and reclaim your own. It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen over night. But it is possible. And it starts when you decide that there has to be more to life than this pain you feel. It starts when you decide that you deserve to discover it
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Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014 at 6:12 PM UTC
Self hate
at their best, there is gentleness in Humanity. some understanding and, at times, acts of courage but all in all it is a mass, a glob that doesn't have too much. it is like a large animal deep in sleep and almost nothing can awaken it. when activated it's best at brutality, selfishness, unjust judgments, ****** what can we do with it, this Humanity? nothing. avoid the thing as much as possible. treat it as you would anything poisonous, vicious and mindless. but be careful. it has enacted laws to protect itself from you. it can **** you without cause. and to escape it you must be subtle. few escape. it's up to you to figure a plan. I have met nobody who has escaped. I have met some of the great and famous but they have not escaped for they are only great and famous within Humanity. I have not escaped but I have not failed in trying again and again. before my death I hope to obtain my life. from blank gun silencer - 1994
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7.3k
What Can We Do?
Law, All ye termites hacking ants are you without sin? Twisting the law to your greed thus dethroning justice Thou that dis-virgins the law to suit your selfish taste, Did not equity say that none is above the law? Money-thirsty vultures seeking positions to occupy. Law hackers depriving justice and equity of her rights Equity and justice now lives in shame of her virginity, Almighty termite, do not your deeds speak evil of your sins? I weep blood for justice and equity whose daughters you ***** Is there none whose conscience still breathe or lives? Power-driven termites making uncountable promises Yet accomplishing none but your calculated interests. Equity, All ye leaders that preach peace, are you not corrupt minded? En-slaving accounts meant for public welfare Yet you claim to have the peoples interest in mind, Did not the law command you to let equity and justice smile? Parasitic predators hi-jacking the country's economy Filthy termites proclaiming injustice upon powerless ants, Justice hackers, do not your conscience judge your judgments? I wish that you allow justice and equity have her way. Law benders at whose feet equity and justice bow Rippers of the law, at your hands justice is twisted, Is your nature as humans so inhumane? Little wonder the earth lives in fear of your tyranny. Justice, All ye slanders of the law, why not sheath your swords of corruption? Your unchecked power has broken the wings of justice Thereby making equity a widow without a husband, Remember your oaths to serve with justice and equity; Did you deceive the ants that voted you in to serve them? Chameleons occupying seats of filtered ambitions Woe betide your conscience for refusing to judge you, Are you not guilty of molesting the law? I mourn for the shameful death of equity and justice. You that crafts the law to fit your suit of corruption Remember a day comes when justice will laugh again, And you being powerful cannot escape the law of Karma. Karma, Murderers of the law, will you also bribe karma? I doubt if you can buy the law of karma with money. Thou whose gluttony corrupts justice and equity, Don't you feel guilty that you disvirgined the law? Equity and justice now roams about in nakedness, You that preach the law, are you true to yourself? Heartless spiders cob-webbing the law to entangle poor ants Did not equity bid you come to justice with clean hands? Yet with filthy garments you condemn innocent ants; Mind you that someday the law will rise again. All ye scavengers of justice and hackers of the law, Do you think you can **** the law of Karma?
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Dec 10, 2015
Dec 10, 2015 at 10:22 AM UTC
Hackers Of The Law
Law, All ye termites hacking ants are you without sin? Twisting the law to your greed thus dethroning justice Thou that dis-virgins the law to suit your selfish taste, Did not equity say that none is above the law? Money-thirsty vultures seeking positions to occupy. Law hackers depriving justice and equity of her rights Equity and justice now lives in shame of her virginity, Almighty termite, do not your deeds speak evil of your sins? I weep blood for justice and equity whose daughters you ***** Is there none whose conscience still breathe or lives? Power-driven termites making uncountable promises Yet accomplishing none but your calculated interests. Equity, All ye leaders that preach peace, are you not corrupt minded? En-slaving accounts meant for public welfare Yet you claim to have the peoples interest in mind, Did not the law command you to let equity and justice smile? Parasitic predators hi-jacking the country's economy Filthy termites proclaiming injustice upon powerless ants, Justice hackers, do not your conscience judge your judgments? I wish that you allow justice and equity have her way. Law benders at whose feet equity and justice bow Rippers of the law, at your hands justice is twisted, Is your nature as humans so inhumane? Little wonder the earth lives in fear of your tyranny. Justice, All ye slanders of the law, why not sheath your swords of corruption? Your unchecked power has broken the wings of justice Thereby making equity a widow without a husband, Remember your oaths to serve with justice and equity; Did you deceive the ants that voted you in to serve them? Chameleons occupying seats of filtered ambitions Woe betide your conscience for refusing to judge you, Are you not guilty of molesting the law? I mourn for the shameful death of equity and justice. You that crafts the law to fit your suit of corruption Remember a day comes when justice will laugh again, And you being powerful cannot escape the law of Karma. Karma, Murderers of the law, will you also bribe karma? I doubt if you can buy the law of karma with money. Thou whose gluttony corrupts justice and equity, Don't you feel guilty that you disvirgined the law? Equity and justice now roams about in nakedness, You that preach the law, are you true to yourself? Heartless spiders cob-webbing the law to entangle poor ants Did not equity bid you come to justice with clean hands? Yet with filthy garments you condemn innocent ants; Mind you that someday the law will rise again. All ye scavengers of justice and hackers of the law, Do you think you can **** the law of Karma?
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It doesn't matter how hard I try I never seem to get away Cause after all you did to me I fear these feelings will always stay *Your lies I believed were the truth beneath The pain recedes but the heart bleeds My instincts were right all along I’m just a part of your love song* You see, I live my life in fear Fear I won't succeed And every small critique I get Makes me once again recede *My Iloveyous to you were inevitable Like the sun emitting his ardor Despite the moon in slumber’s nocturne He shines brightly with fervor* I live my life, always afraid That I am not on the right path And if I take one small misstep I'll have to face somebody's wrath *Time consumes me while I waste it away Like grains of sand as I clenched and ran Only to lose it Again and again* I am eternally scared That all my judgments are wrong And if I ever meet someone They'll only like me for so long *But then I met you out of the blue You were trying to forget someone too We sparked like fireworks in the night sky But the fire burnt out and our colors faded hue* I live my life in constant fear I fear that you were right I simply am not good enough And I will not be alright *Thank you for proving me right That we were not meant to be How could you love another light When I was the one your darkness pleased* But even worse than all these things Is my terror that someday I will meet someone else like you And not be able to get away. *You complete me &* You destroyed me
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Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 2:38 AM UTC
Philophobia (Collab with Erenn)
“Amanda,” she said, in a bold assertion “We really are the same Person.” Limp in the dew and Wise like a sage, no wound cut No blood shed, yet, There was something this Bandage shut, Something yawning, gaping But I don’t know what… How sad! She’s crying, that Amanda, Shrugging ‘gainst the colic rain And almost lost in the copes-y veranda, Weeping softly on Those concrete flats, wearing “Red Tom’s And” both “Dating Matts” while I saw her fear in that moment, appalling, stalling With soroitous heart, “and fear of falling!” Binding them tightly: “That’s US haha!” How many laughs does a limp spirit draw? —(a disparaged few or none at all…) Still, she writes, “I am so glad” (a huff annoyed From Amanda, distant and sad, that I Can’t tell why “you” ever “joined.”) But this is not my place, a passerby, To pick up trash, inane and lonely, To cast my judgments and inquire—why? To heal the unbroken with words unspoken But scratched on refuse, she may “[heart] you” but refuse you, too The spirit of [heart] in Amanda awoken —(But she refused it, too!) And then be a token Some stranger takes home.
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Apr 8, 2014
Apr 8, 2014 at 7:52 AM UTC
“Amanda...”~or Refuse ~or Trash Poetry #1
Over and over you love to judge. Genuine at times or due to grudge. Your approach frank and upfront. Your judgments brute and blunt. Judgement on anyone and everyone. You judge all, you spare none. O you innocent! if you only knew. All your judgments will judge you.
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Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 9:24 PM UTC
Judgements
***What if I say, I am not like the others? Are you afraid of seeing my bloodshot eyes? It ain’t a delusion of your vision It ain’t a theory of your hostile mind Its just an authority to reveal high As you ****** up in the midnight. What if I declare, I like to be a pothead? It ain’t a crime of your filthy society It ain’t a ****** of your hypersexual beauty Its just a power to absorb black hole As you get dissolved in the infinity. What if we believe, we are united peace? Our intoxication could never be slayer as your humanity diminishes   Our immune could never be a flame as your democracy fire burns   Our dealing could never be an acrid as your judgments villainous Our indignation could never be a pretender as your sensibility veiled Our lonesome shadow could never be a congress of love as your realization mortifies And our congregation of morality must have been psychedelic painkiller. What if we deny, we are insignificant existence?     So, who are you crippling our bloodshot eyes, A Social featherbrain? Who are you to stop having "dopetherone" in the town, A godly crusader? Who are you to proclaim the rule against your mind, A phrenetic lawyer? What if we deny, we are insignificant existence?   What if we believe, we are united peace? We will keep walking with our head held high.*** April' 2015
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Mar 25, 2017
Mar 25, 2017 at 2:07 PM UTC
Cannabis Community
Dear God, I know we have not talked for a while but there are still some questions I need you to answer. I never doubt your existence, but I doubt you are kind at heart. Why did you give me eyes? Only to see people suffer? Only to see fathers abusing their daughters, mothers hurting their sons? You give me eyes and I want to scratch them out. I am too tired of crying all night. Why did you give me ears? Only to hear endless screams? Only to listen to stories of destruction, of void and eternal dark, of suicide, mother of all self-abuse. Listen how smile turns into tears, and silent whispers becomes screams so loud, and I can't stand them! HELP! HELP! HELP! Why did you give me ears if they are of no use? Why did you give me hands? Only so I can touch the scars? To feel the cuts on the inside? To cut myself with words, not razors, when I am trying to write. Why in all this chaos of life I feel like I was born with my hands tied? Why can't I stop them from hurting others and themselves, from smoking another cigarette, or from drinking, until they drink themselves to death, from going to bed with strangers, out of pure disrespect for themselves, from accepting the twisted judgments of society, and carving the verdicts into their bodies and heads. From taking strange medical substances, and non-medical as well, just to be accepted by people that never care. Why did you even give me heart? Only to be broken? By what? Love? Bigger lie cannot be spoken! It's just selfish desire of touching the skin of other human being. Having control, reserving their body all for yourself. Or worse, sharing pieces of soul, never to return, when the cracks from within reach out and break you apart. Dear God, I accept I'm inferior and so very limited, but in your holiness and immortality, why is there beauty, laced with suffering, innocence, treated with hate, happiness, mixed with pain, smile, embraced with grief. I understand there is no rainbow without the rain, but give me some hope to believe...
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Dec 26, 2014
Dec 26, 2014 at 3:13 AM UTC
Dear God
Dear God, I know we have not talked for a while but there are still some questions I need you to answer. I never doubt your existence, but I doubt you are kind at heart. Why did you give me eyes? Only to see people suffer? Only to see fathers abusing their daughters, mothers hurting their sons? You give me eyes and I want to scratch them out. I am too tired of crying all night. Why did you give me ears? Only to hear endless screams? Only to listen to stories of destruction, of void and eternal dark, of suicide, mother of all self-abuse. Listen how smile turns into tears, and silent whispers becomes screams so loud, and I can't stand them! HELP! HELP! HELP! Why did you give me ears if they are of no use? Why did you give me hands? Only so I can touch the scars? To feel the cuts on the inside? To cut myself with words, not razors, when I am trying to write. Why in all this chaos of life I feel like I was born with my hands tied? Why can't I stop them from hurting others and themselves, from smoking another cigarette, or from drinking, until they drink themselves to death, from going to bed with strangers, out of pure disrespect for themselves, from accepting the twisted judgments of society, and carving the verdicts into their bodies and heads. From taking strange medical substances, and non-medical as well, just to be accepted by people that never care. Why did you even give me heart? Only to be broken? By what? Love? Bigger lie cannot be spoken! It's just selfish desire of touching the skin of other human being. Having control, reserving their body all for yourself. Or worse, sharing pieces of soul, never to return, when the cracks from within reach out and break you apart. Dear God, I accept I'm inferior and so very limited, but in your holiness and immortality, why is there beauty, laced with suffering, innocence, treated with hate, happiness, mixed with pain, smile, embraced with grief. I understand there is no rainbow without the rain, but give me some hope to believe...
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They talk, don't listen Don't listen, for what they say isn't true Their heartlessness can't break us It's not your fault They don't see What I see in you Set petty judgments aside Your value is insurpassable, Undeniable. Your tenderness against my tongue Tender, but never too sweet, Almost bitter. No sugar coated lies Just fresh and raw. Honest and genuine, You provide what I need.
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Sep 25, 2014
Sep 25, 2014 at 1:30 AM UTC
Ode to Spinach
2:14 in the morning Haven't slept for three days My eyes are heavy My thoughts are crazy Regrets Mistakes Judgments Happy moments Sad ones Things I wish I did Things I don't know why I did My eyes are heavy I need my thoughts to be empty Then I touched myself down there It's wet I keep on caressing Like someone was touching And I know I'm almost there Until I see myself Hanging on the ceiling On the rest room On the kitchen But I'm almost there Until I see blood In my head In my wrist A slit on my neck And my eyes are heavy And I'm almost there The next thing I know It's 2:14 in the morning The next day after.
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Aug 13, 2020
Aug 13, 2020 at 5:36 AM UTC
Empty Thoughts
1. I really tried 2. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough 3. Why did I always think everything was about me? 4. You were my angel 5. My demons were too strong 6. I never look people in the eyes because I'm afraid they'll see through my windows and see that there's not light inside They'll see my secret pain The monsters gain Persuasion in the argument If I should live or die 7. The mask wasn’t supposed to stay on forever but people seemed to like it better than my sadness and sadness doesn’t always cooperate with my plans. Like sometimes sadness just wants to stretch his legs across my face leaving traces that look like tired eyes and furrowed brows. Sadness, like water, will take the path of least resistance from the world to heart and back. Self-endulgend, sadness begs for hosts without every bothering to host the party because sadness doesn’t mind if he overstays his welcome. 8. I was 17 when he died, it has been eight years 9. If I can't win the fight to stay If I lose and go my way I have to believe things will be OK Because your grief won't come From the fact that I am gone Maybe you'll think about what We could have done to better get along 10. You won’t often think of me So let me go, let me be free Your mind is the sun Confidence and clean 11. My mind is a terror That doesn't deal in dream In years to come, perhaps You think of us A memory we shared 12. I wish I let you in and feel a connection Isolationist tendencies are decidedly not the best strategy So my island is a prison Not a blessed reclusion from the judgments of my mental illness I'm simply in denial to any sickness at all
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Dec 5, 2015
Dec 5, 2015 at 2:53 AM UTC
Titles of a Suicide Note
1. I really tried 2. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough 3. Why did I always think everything was about me? 4. You were my angel 5. My demons were too strong 6. I never look people in the eyes because I'm afraid they'll see through my windows and see that there's not light inside They'll see my secret pain The monsters gain Persuasion in the argument If I should live or die 7. The mask wasn’t supposed to stay on forever but people seemed to like it better than my sadness and sadness doesn’t always cooperate with my plans. Like sometimes sadness just wants to stretch his legs across my face leaving traces that look like tired eyes and furrowed brows. Sadness, like water, will take the path of least resistance from the world to heart and back. Self-endulgend, sadness begs for hosts without every bothering to host the party because sadness doesn’t mind if he overstays his welcome. 8. I was 17 when he died, it has been eight years 9. If I can't win the fight to stay If I lose and go my way I have to believe things will be OK Because your grief won't come From the fact that I am gone Maybe you'll think about what We could have done to better get along 10. You won’t often think of me So let me go, let me be free Your mind is the sun Confidence and clean 11. My mind is a terror That doesn't deal in dream In years to come, perhaps You think of us A memory we shared 12. I wish I let you in and feel a connection Isolationist tendencies are decidedly not the best strategy So my island is a prison Not a blessed reclusion from the judgments of my mental illness I'm simply in denial to any sickness at all
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~ i am a preamble, seeking to evolve ~ ~ my every emotion, thought and deed, cascades, consequence ~ ~ your every touch forever impacts, in cascading consequence ~ ~ we are all sacred, equal in our worth, may we each, behave so ~ ~ paradoxically ~ ~ our security is rooted in our acceptance, of insecurity ~ ~ our cyclical attractions, and repulsions ~ ~ are the forces which bind us ~ ~ while i don’t understand all the motivations ~ ~ or all the machinations ~ ~ of the forces applied, to divide, conquer and control ~ ~ i deem they are parasitic, and thus ~ ~ reliant upon our cooperation, to survive ~ ~ when i haven’t worked myself out in perfect coherence ~ ~ i’m in no position to pass judgments upon any other ~ ~ in absence of fraud, deception or manipulation ~ ~ embracing sovereignty and free will ~ ~ i vow ~ ~ to wage peace, cooperation, creativity and love ~ ~ to seize opportunity to nurture ~ ~ our garden planet ~ ~ as a humbled gardener ~ ~ there is no spoon ~ ~ it was only an illusion ~ ~ there are no sheep ~ ~ just tactics to divide, and distract ~ ~ we are only ~ ~ children and parents ~ ~ friends and lovers ~ ~ sisters and brothers ~ ~ cosmic conscious explorers ~ ~ shaping our reality ~ ~ nurturing OUR Garden ~ ~ namaste ~
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Nov 13, 2010
Nov 13, 2010 at 2:15 PM UTC
~ declaration, of interdependence ~
Humility is a thorned crown. If you allow it to it'll break you down. Confound your ego And spur it into the ground. Its a mindset shift through and through. When it hits you genuinely humility will help bring about a new you.
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Aug 20, 2015
Aug 20, 2015 at 12:05 PM UTC
Humility
I sat in my living room watching Modern Family with my dad and my mom mom When my mom mom turns to my dad and says, Todd I am so proud of you for not having any homosexual children. Now I realize this could’ve been the moment I come out. But instead of feeling like that was my open door, I felt like someone had just pushed me back inside the closet And slammed it shut. When you think of a homophobic person, You imagine someone who is mean and extremely religious. But my mom mom is a kind and generous woman. Anyone can be homophobic. I was homophobic. Raised in a “Christian” household I grew up in a church. My roots were in prayer and god was my sun. I shamed gays and eventually I shamed myself. You always hear how people come out to their families, but next time, Ask them how they came out to themselves. Because that is the hardest part. Or at least it was for me. I ripped up all my roots, blocked out the sun, and dug into myself To change the parts of me I thought were law. Things my dad had preached to my church About gays being an abomination And now here I am, the abomination he spoke so often of. Once you start realizing your parents weren’t always right, You have to start making your own judgments. What do you believe in anymore if up to that point, Every opinion you defended was one you took from your parents, Passed down to you like character traits. My dad and I are both stubborn And we were both homophobic until I started not just wanting to be certain pretty girls, But I stared wanting to be on certain pretty girls. I had to change every part of me that hated myself And I found so much love in me that I never thought I had And suddenly a lot of things made sense. In a perfect world, my family would dig up their roots too. Look to God and realize that He is about love for everyone without the “no **** before it. God is not homophobic. My family is.
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Jan 25, 2014
Jan 25, 2014 at 12:06 AM UTC
Homphobic
I sat in my living room watching Modern Family with my dad and my mom mom When my mom mom turns to my dad and says, Todd I am so proud of you for not having any homosexual children. Now I realize this could’ve been the moment I come out. But instead of feeling like that was my open door, I felt like someone had just pushed me back inside the closet And slammed it shut. When you think of a homophobic person, You imagine someone who is mean and extremely religious. But my mom mom is a kind and generous woman. Anyone can be homophobic. I was homophobic. Raised in a “Christian” household I grew up in a church. My roots were in prayer and god was my sun. I shamed gays and eventually I shamed myself. You always hear how people come out to their families, but next time, Ask them how they came out to themselves. Because that is the hardest part. Or at least it was for me. I ripped up all my roots, blocked out the sun, and dug into myself To change the parts of me I thought were law. Things my dad had preached to my church About gays being an abomination And now here I am, the abomination he spoke so often of. Once you start realizing your parents weren’t always right, You have to start making your own judgments. What do you believe in anymore if up to that point, Every opinion you defended was one you took from your parents, Passed down to you like character traits. My dad and I are both stubborn And we were both homophobic until I started not just wanting to be certain pretty girls, But I stared wanting to be on certain pretty girls. I had to change every part of me that hated myself And I found so much love in me that I never thought I had And suddenly a lot of things made sense. In a perfect world, my family would dig up their roots too. Look to God and realize that He is about love for everyone without the “no **** before it. God is not homophobic. My family is.
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43
What gives you the right to judge me, criticism wasn't asked so why you open your mouth, What's your prerequisite to make assumption's & judgments- Constructive criticism my *** My ADHD PT-SD Dyslexia Anxiety & dealings with you caused me a break down, got me chronically depressed, You say you only want the best for me, Well shut up & let me be! pill popping just so my E.E.D. (Emitted explosive disorder) wont cause me to become sentience with life new labels would say ****** if you keep bothering me I ain't stupid- So stop talking down to me Im not illiterate ******* I read So let me be No I don't have TS (tourette syndrome) I ******* cuss cuz I wanna so shut the hell up I know right from wrong I'm no psychopath Then again I just might be since I could give a flying **** about you weather you live or die I wouldn't cry. Your making it harder for ya self not me just go way Doc Do ya got **** Job, I don't want to talk anymore My past is where I left it Behind me You deal with it Cuz I already did & do For you that call your selves wanting to help.... My OCD (Obsessive-compulsive disorder) is personal So what if I wash my hands& *** 3 or more times I'm not stupid or deaf I have Selective Hearing Nor am I ******** that's how I say hello with my middle finger I told you, I'm not ******** ***** I'm Special! Always Me Ayeshah
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Mar 10, 2010
Mar 10, 2010 at 7:15 PM UTC
***** I'm Special
Know it all in theory never practiced Waddles and quacks Assumptions under false pretenses Opinions often criticize Judgments without a clue Senseless chatter Assless pants Years behind Broken spirits Wavering faith What is proof? Wasted life and selfish acts Yeah, what do you know?
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Mar 16, 2014
Mar 16, 2014 at 9:07 PM UTC
********
A perfect man for me was never moulded by a box, A box that screamed multitude of labels To satiate the chaotic minds of society, A belonging judged by feudality, no rhyme or reason required or questioned. A perfect man for me was never measured by material things, He gives abundantly by just being around, An illuminating source of comfort on the other end listening, Empathising and leaving a trail of laughter that makes me fall even deeper. A perfect man for me was never masked crusader (okay, maybe Batman sometimes), He is maskless for the world to bask in his genuity, No bounds or limitations set on his acts of kindness and love, Selfless and generous with his time, blind to any creed or pedigree. A perfect man for me was never one to run away from problems, Valiantly facing the raging bulls head on, Inner strength personified by his poise and determination, "I will get through this unscathed and no one will stop me". A perfect man for me was never an owner of a cold crackled heart, Headstrong, gallantly keeps the family together in a bind of unconditional love, Lovingly adores his sunshine, making sure she knows she is loved with the same fervour, Day in and day out, void of complains and pettiness, as the world turns. A perfect man for me was never perfect, Owning up to his flaws and shortcomings and being aware of mine, A cycle that is never vicious but one that is laced with acceptance and non-judgments, He inspires the best version of myself as he aspires to better himself. A perfect man for me spells Y-O-U, And the way that you are is exactly how I love Y-O-U. Shalini Nayar 24.11.14 (C) 2014
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Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014 at 9:51 AM UTC
My Perfect Man
A perfect man for me was never moulded by a box, A box that screamed multitude of labels To satiate the chaotic minds of society, A belonging judged by feudality, no rhyme or reason required or questioned. A perfect man for me was never measured by material things, He gives abundantly by just being around, An illuminating source of comfort on the other end listening, Empathising and leaving a trail of laughter that makes me fall even deeper. A perfect man for me was never masked crusader (okay, maybe Batman sometimes), He is maskless for the world to bask in his genuity, No bounds or limitations set on his acts of kindness and love, Selfless and generous with his time, blind to any creed or pedigree. A perfect man for me was never one to run away from problems, Valiantly facing the raging bulls head on, Inner strength personified by his poise and determination, "I will get through this unscathed and no one will stop me". A perfect man for me was never an owner of a cold crackled heart, Headstrong, gallantly keeps the family together in a bind of unconditional love, Lovingly adores his sunshine, making sure she knows she is loved with the same fervour, Day in and day out, void of complains and pettiness, as the world turns. A perfect man for me was never perfect, Owning up to his flaws and shortcomings and being aware of mine, A cycle that is never vicious but one that is laced with acceptance and non-judgments, He inspires the best version of myself as he aspires to better himself. A perfect man for me spells Y-O-U, And the way that you are is exactly how I love Y-O-U. Shalini Nayar 24.11.14 (C) 2014
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29
What an honor It would be To inspire someone Lost and suffering Trapped in their own mind Of relentless criticism Who would have guessed the semicolon Would hold such symbolism This desire I have To change just one life May not affect the world But it would ease their strife Because I know what it’s like to be exhausted At the end of every day With no other reason than the constant war Of keeping my demons at bay How incredible it would be To stop measuring my self worth By judgments and comparisons With everyone else on earth To stop unearthing past mistakes Then uprooting the pleasant memories And throwing them aside As a gardener does with vexatious weeds Constantly tortured by little things Until it's miserable to survive Sweetheart don't you realize It's a privilege to be alive Why is it we search for happiness Like its something waiting to be found When it is only from the inside That we can turn our thoughts around My dear, please don't give in You don't have to feel this way The demons may be frightening But you have the final say No matter what they say to you It's you who has control Don't let them turn your soft, kind heart Into a numb black hole The numb black hole I know it well Then waves of pain Like an ocean swell Just as tides come and go Your darkness will too As long as you keep fighting The whole way through Keep your thoughts positive It is your mind you must transform For there are always blue skies After every storm Your sorrows may not be gone for good But you have a bright future ahead Inspire others to change their thoughts And dry the tears they’ve shed
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Apr 22, 2016
Apr 22, 2016 at 3:25 AM UTC
Brighter Days Ahead
What an honor It would be To inspire someone Lost and suffering Trapped in their own mind Of relentless criticism Who would have guessed the semicolon Would hold such symbolism This desire I have To change just one life May not affect the world But it would ease their strife Because I know what it’s like to be exhausted At the end of every day With no other reason than the constant war Of keeping my demons at bay How incredible it would be To stop measuring my self worth By judgments and comparisons With everyone else on earth To stop unearthing past mistakes Then uprooting the pleasant memories And throwing them aside As a gardener does with vexatious weeds Constantly tortured by little things Until it's miserable to survive Sweetheart don't you realize It's a privilege to be alive Why is it we search for happiness Like its something waiting to be found When it is only from the inside That we can turn our thoughts around My dear, please don't give in You don't have to feel this way The demons may be frightening But you have the final say No matter what they say to you It's you who has control Don't let them turn your soft, kind heart Into a numb black hole The numb black hole I know it well Then waves of pain Like an ocean swell Just as tides come and go Your darkness will too As long as you keep fighting The whole way through Keep your thoughts positive It is your mind you must transform For there are always blue skies After every storm Your sorrows may not be gone for good But you have a bright future ahead Inspire others to change their thoughts And dry the tears they’ve shed
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56
Reflect, reflect, reflect Trust yourself and trust your client Accept those you counsel If you don't know what to say, smile Finish on time Don't talk too much Show your joy Hide your judgments Try to work yourself out of a job Love yourself Clarify, clarify, clarify Stomp out erroneous thinking Keep Kleenex handy
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Apr 17, 2014
Apr 17, 2014 at 8:06 AM UTC
How to be a Counselor
swallowing her aching pride with every step she takes trying to forget, although her lonely heart it breaks her everlasting hatred for the man who left a void in her world, forever shifting, unprepared to be destroyed her eyes, once glistening jewels turned to a bleak mistrusting stare their depths expose the scars left by a man who did not care. remembering the pain, the fearsome look within his eyes the man she thought she loved became the monster she despised her worthlessness confirmed with every single blow he dealt the hurt within her heart was numb, the physical she felt a horrifying calamity, some days she wished to die the violent mental thoughts left by a man who made her cry haunted by his judgments, heartless words rang in her ears whilst her soul was crushed she never let him see her tears a sordid satisfaction from the misery he saw from the woman who adored him as he broke her to the core but then it reached a point where though her self-belief was wrecked the words that once were daggers suddenly had no effect no longer did his voice destroy the stillness in her mind her time was not yet over; she could leave it all behind a woman who had suffered for so long, without a voice decided for herself she had the right to make a choice the bruises that imprinted, purple wounds left on her skin she’d escape the hell he’d made her, filled with violence and sin her eyes cold windows to her heart, devoid of such emotion a stranger to a reckless love of honest plain devotion her body bears the evidence, her mind is crystal clear forget about the hatred and keep close what you hold dear while repulsion made her weary, she stood still and bit her tongue no longer wept for what once was, the man who made her strong.
0
Jun 10, 2013
Jun 10, 2013 at 5:43 PM UTC
strength.
swallowing her aching pride with every step she takes trying to forget, although her lonely heart it breaks her everlasting hatred for the man who left a void in her world, forever shifting, unprepared to be destroyed her eyes, once glistening jewels turned to a bleak mistrusting stare their depths expose the scars left by a man who did not care. remembering the pain, the fearsome look within his eyes the man she thought she loved became the monster she despised her worthlessness confirmed with every single blow he dealt the hurt within her heart was numb, the physical she felt a horrifying calamity, some days she wished to die the violent mental thoughts left by a man who made her cry haunted by his judgments, heartless words rang in her ears whilst her soul was crushed she never let him see her tears a sordid satisfaction from the misery he saw from the woman who adored him as he broke her to the core but then it reached a point where though her self-belief was wrecked the words that once were daggers suddenly had no effect no longer did his voice destroy the stillness in her mind her time was not yet over; she could leave it all behind a woman who had suffered for so long, without a voice decided for herself she had the right to make a choice the bruises that imprinted, purple wounds left on her skin she’d escape the hell he’d made her, filled with violence and sin her eyes cold windows to her heart, devoid of such emotion a stranger to a reckless love of honest plain devotion her body bears the evidence, her mind is crystal clear forget about the hatred and keep close what you hold dear while repulsion made her weary, she stood still and bit her tongue no longer wept for what once was, the man who made her strong.
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30
You might be Heathcliff To my Elizabeth Because a hero I, need not If you choose to impress through lies and duress you’re surely, not the man I thought I am not a romantic When you stand in the rain You can be pedantic But please don’t refrain From your recitations of poetry If I could rewrite this story I’d try and make you see For Mr. Wickham I can see clearly through Have I told not All of my truths to you If you could forgive me For being quite uncouth I’d leave my homestead And walk days to you I am not a romantic When you stand in the rain You can be pedantic But please don’t refrain From your recitations of poetry If I could rewrite this story I’d try and make you see You might be angry And feeling betrayed, but This is not a war to be fought If you can forgive me I’ll try to make you see That you’re the romantic I want Your good opinions Have surely been lost I made snap judgments Not knowing the cost If you can forgive me Then please tell me so But if you cannot Away I will go
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Mar 1, 2012
Mar 1, 2012 at 1:12 PM UTC
Romantic
Sister, I've been to your chambers, I've seen that Holy Bible Kept ***** with your tomes. I know that you're secretly A nun, or a Catholic schoolgirl. But that's impossible, Because I've never seen you Flustered pink like A fragile glass of Lemonade On a thirsty, Sinful, Sabbath day. You can't be celibate. You are way too beautiful for that. And such beauty left to waste Is proof enough that my God is Absent. He is spending His time Dodging deadlines to watch Every move you make. There are always Judgments to be made. I beg of you, Cleanse this ***** Get on your knees and pray, But do it slowly. Kiss the shaft of your Savior Renounce your title to Him So we can both go to Heaven. You might think I'm just a mongrel, Filthy in the eyes and mind. Love is a pearl born from nature, And yours is due to be polished. -Juan Carlos Gomez
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Oct 26, 2011
Oct 26, 2011 at 2:04 AM UTC
Hot Nuns