"infiltrated" poems
“death everywhere, not age or ancient, just an infiltrated lack of life”
a puzzling, troubling line in a personal message,
instantly isolated for further review,
needy indeedy for a second medical opinion,
for it’s a description of two,
an actual place and a state of being
a place where death seems more commonplace,
not from agedness or honor,
but from a madness drunk from a special cocktail of
heat, guns and pseudo-rock stars, with beer chasers
imbibed by those who imagine themselves INRL
in a movie genre of specialized urban cowboys,
subset horror flick,
self-appointed angels
part of a world view
so pervasive that it infiltrates the mental water supply
and modifies the pure children early on
demeaning existence, with a sense, a sendup,
life is unreal, cheap, so taking it-is ok,
justice delivered, for we angels,
are subset,
angels of death
in a country where
seven out of ten believe in angels,
and one in four confident that
the sun revolves around the Earth
look to blame
polluted water
the ever-overheated atmosphere,
bringing typhoon and storm,
I do not know
*how be sun and water,
the essences, the originations of all life
today come to the planet days still
clear and warm,
yet can not infiltrate our personal mystery,
respire, re-spark the notion of the spirit,*
the simple sanctity of life peculiarly human
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 12:59 PM UTC
This is America for Petes sake
Black lives don’t matter here
They say they’re being treated unfair
But they’re the one’s drinking up all the welfare
And we even pay for their health care
Poor black folk shouting black lives matter
But they don’t matter
The only thing that matters is the fat cats getting fatter
Build a school or a jail?
In a place like Baltimore, those black kids are already bound to fail
Let’s not forget from whence we hail
We came from abroad to build this house
This was never meant to be a game of cat and mouse
They don’t know their power, so they will never see their hour
Cause you see white people are only safe when those animals scared
White people are only safe when white people are feared
When black people are teared, and on their face is smeared the blood of their ancestors, on the altar that is prepared
The altar that was broken down when we ended Jim Crow
Since then look how low our country did go
But at last at last now again we can make America great
Now again we can end any debate , about what it means to be free
Cause when Trump is in charge I’ll tell you, you won’t tell me
When Trump is President you'll put your hand over your heart for the anthem, not take a knee
When Trump is President, You’ll be satisfied , you’ll lower your fist and you’ll be
You’ll be gratified, you’ll shut your mouth and watch your people die
You’ll watch them bleed like Alton Sterling,
You’ll stand there you’ll cry
And then you’ll wonder why,
why does the color of your skin decide whether or not you win
As you kneel before me thinking about your next of kin,
ready to feel these bullets in your body as your reality sets in
This country was never your own
We brought you here as slaves, you call out for a savior but
Abraham Lincoln is dead so you can put down the phone
Martin Luther King is dead so you can put down the phone
Malcom X is dead, you see,now you’re all alone
We’ve infiltrated your culture and now that seed has grown
As we watch you destroy each other and continue to postpone anything that looks like freedom
Cause you see freedom isnt free
We gained ours in 1776
Your ancestors were still in chains but here today you celebrate with me
Thinking that you’re free
But you will never be free
Harriet Tubman freed a thousand slaves
And she could've freed a thousand more but they were cheering for Trump in his rallies
Because they can’t grasp what it means to be free
And that mere truth is the key
So we won’t say their names
We won’t feel their pains
Cause this is the United States of America , and white is right, we still hold the reigns
Jul 22, 2016
Jul 22, 2016 at 12:13 AM UTC
I find myself looking for words.
Combinations of feeling
I did not know existed.
I cannot breathe.
I struggle for them
& make myself a fool.
The world was so big before I met you
& now I'm grasping for it,
unable to recall it's delusion
as I am pulled into your orbit.
Out of drifting dreams.
My mind goes blank
& all I can see
is the dark galaxy that is you.
Alien, beautiful & natural.
You haunt me.
I nearly never believed so big,
& you infiltrated this complex defense
to show me what's been missing.
Half crazed by the loneliness of space
I cannot articulate.
Another form of art I hesitate to express.
I do not trust myself
that it will not be perfect,
fluid,
each stroke of the tongue
like the brush fear failure.
I want to show you all I see
beneath the stars.
Let the brilliance of the moon shine through.
But she is stuck.
In the cloud of curious awareness,
my eloquence cripples me.
How many things can I say
before I lose my grace?
& I dread
the company of simple minds
who cannot love stories.
So eager,
your patience holds the hand of the clock.
I want to watch your eyes glow
lit up by the music from my lips,
& I want to be carried off
by all you reminisce.
I can't believe in chance
when a soul like yours comes to court.
Thrice even.
I am challenged by the core of you.
Inquiry.
Things I cannot see
& stopped looking for.
If I take no notice,
I will not be seen.
Drawn into someone else's dreams,
Abandoning me.
I forgot how to identify
with my kind
so that I did not lose me.
Then I rusted over.
The great machine locked away
while the shows went on
in Technicolor.
Introspective
losing passion & luster inside this shell.
How you found me,
only body in forum.
You took me out to play.
Engaged, stalled, oiled & sparked
Life.
I am reminded of a better me.
An affirmation,
of my Dominant heart.
His voice,
the coaxing in my womb to Be.
Away with closed up, dying to shine.
You wanted to show me off,
pretty girl.
I remember being a Goddess
& shattering the abyss around me
with heart & raw warmth.
The fire of honesty.
Unsatiated wander bred in me
& I held nothing back.
Now the world is clay
& my garden to build upon.
Train me to grow.
I am inspired to be stardust.
Permeate every corner of this heavenly body.
I find myself the eager student of Aquarius.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 1:50 AM UTC
All of the Gnomes from around the globe
Just sneezed their very last sneeze
They've had enough of this allergy stuff
And from the garden they're taking their leave
They packed up their bags, donned their bonnet's and caps
Left in the cover of night
Said goodbye to the trees along with the birds and the bees
And headed out for the big city life
No one had a clue from which wind the Gnomes blew
It was Wa-La they were suddenly there
From Bankers to Lawyers to Tele-marketer callers
They infiltrated every career
Soon they were drinking like fountains as the bills started mounting
With the pressures of the ride to the top
Pills became an everyday need to stay awake and fall asleep
Not sure when this madness will stop
On top of it all they started to cough from the smog
And wondered which one was the worst
The garden allergies or this black lung disease
Either way the Gnomes felt mankind's curse
So they turned in their suits and their ill gotten loot
And took a trip back to the suberbs
Now in the garden they smile cause they know all the while
Yes...it could be a lot worse
Apr 4, 2014
Apr 4, 2014 at 9:15 PM UTC
I think that was when the numbness first settled in.
First it devoured the tangible parts of my life.
Food didn't taste, blankets didn't warm, hugs didn't comfort.
I watched it steal away my family. Somehow the love we had shared was frozen.
It took all that I could see, leaving me with almost nothing to hold.
It was still hungry, and swiftly infiltrated my heart.
That's why I didn't want you anymore. It's because I knew I couldn't love you.
I sat and couldn't feel. I tried but I'd forgotten how to feel.
Mar 3, 2013
Mar 3, 2013 at 6:20 PM UTC
If my love was personified as my hustle
I’d take you into my heart and never let you go.
I’d cling tight onto you and no matter how hard you fought
I wouldn’t let go
I’d let you know
You. Are. mine
No one elses
Your home is hear
Listen
to the beat reverberating through my chest
Cavity
Rotting me from the inside
You’d make me blind
Like an error
my mind
I wouldn’t understand how you infiltrated my veins
I’d kiss you like you were my forever
Love you in pure desperation
Because my present without you is bleak
At best I know that if I blink
the moment could pass
A risk I can’t take
Won’t
Never
Losing wouldn’t be an option
You would be my dream
you
the very earth that I walk on
The pillow I lay down on
I’d lay down
What ever I would have to
To make you my reality
I would blindly dive into the opportunity
to make my dreams come true
THEY wouldn’t deter me
I don’t need their
approval
permission
opinion
Not to love you
Because the core of me would want you
And the lack of THEM understanding my vision
Means that I’m about to make history
If my love was my hustle
We’d never end
You would be my dreams
And without you I would be nothing
Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014 at 2:06 AM UTC
You have
inner-city-Chinese-restaurant-koi-pond
eyes; infiltrated pupils
that sit behind and spy on the others sitting around,
all whilst remaining dark: a hallmark I admire.
There's a maternity queen wrapped tight in a dress,
blue and white, who sits at the front and speaks and
you write down what leaks and you make it
stick with a biro you bought with a virgin-first
pay check envelope-
ripped open with an eager thumb I'd like to hold
when winter rolls up and in.
Lighthouses look across bigger ponds to warn
of storms that are yet to come.
From afar they see and decide,
weigh up and divide choice into digestible chunks of
we can save them, or if not, we'll guide them whilst they swim:
you make me do this endlessly, almost every day
and this poem is to stop me from thinking
your falsetto hums, that pause in mid air, free, are for me-
you've another bow in brown hair and our corridor conversations
lead nowhere-
I'm gracelessly in love and I just said love and
it's a kind-of cliché, a boring over used word
that we all use when we're excited;
when we run laps around a track that we cannot navigate,
when we're hungover and don't want to work with another desk clerk bore
who sits and talks and works as if an unpaid chore,
but it is true and I wish you'd notice me.
Oct 29, 2013
Oct 29, 2013 at 1:16 PM UTC
Fluffed pillows with a sunken spot where your head was,
Ruffled sheets and messed up blankets,
Your toes stick out from under the comforter,
Exposed to the cold, winter air that has
Infiltrated the warm bedroom you sleep in.
The bed is warm and so is your skin
As is the spot you two were sleeping in.
She's still sleeping;
Lying peacfully wrapped around you,
With your head on her chest,
You listen to the song her heartbeat plays.
Jan 22, 2016
Jan 22, 2016 at 8:43 PM UTC
Descriptive words could not say enough,
Informing you without any expectations,
A simple need to express the damage,
Of not meeting your qualifications.
You're ignorance; both gift and curse,
False belief from your deception,
Subsequent pain leading to anger,
Infiltrated like an infection.
Valuable lessons learned from you --
Benefit of the doubt should not be given,
Further regret seeped into life,
Now that my demons have arisen.
Plunging into bitter sweet weakness,
A temptation I could not resist,
Pathetic attempt at leaving flesh,
As the blade split open the wrist.
Consumed at my loneliest moment,
Tired of giving without receiving,
Defeated by my persistent demons,
Manipulated by thoughts of relieving.
Perception changes with reality,
Enlightened by harsh, clear thoughts,
A choice to no longer be controlled,
Thus, the day that I fought.
Strong desires to be able to forget,
Lips softly speaking lies after lies,
Though admittance was not achievable,
The truth came from your eyes.
Care was not something of existence,
Simply sheets and pillows,
Know that in the end it will be you,
as sad as the leaves of a weeping willow.
Aug 14, 2013
Aug 14, 2013 at 12:17 AM UTC
Snoring gangling giant,
Slumbering away on a snowy
night.
Spoil of war unprotected,
Opening ways for ingress of
worrisome infiltrated
interlopers.
Remember the lord of Philistine
Samusini,
Who returned not from the
seductive antics of his
mistress,
Perished in the furnace fire of
frustration,
And drowned in the Laguna of
no return
Slumbering hindered the move
of the water.
Howling of devourers enclosed
your shack.
Heterocercal caudal fins of
sharks prevented the sailing
of ships.
Wolfished wailing of tidal waves
consumed the anchorage
ground.
And the apparition of foes
lurked-up in darkness like
the foehn on the Alps.
Awake before the devastating
night owl.
Awake from the abyss of deep
slumber.
Awake before the cockcrow,
When darkness of defeats
Controls the reigns of night.
Snoring gangling giant,
Awake unto light.
Dec 20, 2018
Dec 20, 2018 at 6:40 AM UTC
When I'm with other people
Their mere presence reflects my character
Their strength validates me as an individual
Friends sneak away and doubt creeps in
Who am I without my companion justifiers?
Nobody
So I'm going to build an army
And we're going to storm the walls of hatred
They'll throw their bombs
****** ****** ****
Usually more specialized weapons appear as well
All trying to use shame to strip us of our very humanity
We disarm their shame with pride
Not pride in the way one is born or lives
But pride in the face of those who tell us we should feel ashamed
Those hate filled walls will be trampled by our friendship
Once we've infiltrated the pitch black city
We'll seize their holy temple
And find me
Naked, crying, alone
We'll pick me up and dust me off
After all, I have an army to build
May 22, 2017
May 22, 2017 at 6:04 PM UTC
Self-inflicted distractions,
ingesting every possible stimulation the
world can afford me,
lost in peopleplacesandthings
abusing myself with every tangible
substance,
redirecting my mind away
from addiction,
but try my damnedest and still
there you are in the lyrics of a new song,
so I start to read and there
you are
in the character in my book,
turning on the TV and there you are
in the storyline,
stumbling into another man's bed and
he becomes you
when my eyes are
closed;
everywhere I run
my addiction finds me,
and sometimes I fear
I will never escape
you;
you are there
in all the places I go
in all the people I meet
in all the things I see;
I see you
I feel you
I taste you
I smell you
I hear you;
you are my five senses,
you have infiltrated my bodyheartandmind;
even without you,
you still control me,
you still catch me slipping,
my mind wandering to you
in my dreams, subconscious still stained
with your imperfect, incomplete, undeserving imprint;
in my attempts to forget you
your memory refuses to
let
me
g o.
I guess
once an addict,
always.
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 11:33 AM UTC
The Joy of Ultrasound!
Drink a lot my dear they said.
As fluid made a picture.
Hazy imagery.
Heaven's own creation.
Echoes bounced, as picture back.
Beautiful image as yet unborn.
Sitting in a darkened room.
Seeing normal limbs.
Marked out four chambers.
Cordant
Brimmed with love.
Infiltrated full with blood.
Organs not of music.
Silent as in-vitro.
Visualised a photograph.
Captured on the screen.
Un petit-fils enroute.
Ma fille elle-même une petite fille.
Life anew.
Enters my world.
Due on the 4th of April!
By ladylivvi1
© 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)
Nov 15, 2013
Nov 15, 2013 at 1:31 PM UTC
To be taken silently with violence
Not to utter a salutation
Just the cracking of a door hinge
And a look that indicates that stopping your desires would be laughable
An absurdity
not to be pondered!
The jolting sound of head cracking against metal
And wrist yearning to be ground to the bone
After hours of furtive clutching
The kind on nail bending fervor that just takes the taste right from bread
Grabbed into a cranium synthesis
Im am forever enslaved in the darkest corridor of your existence
I doubt I will ever be able to leave this lighting wasteland
The eagerness pounding through the point were skin meets weapon
I am infiltrated like a shanty filled village
A real slum filled valley
Hopeless against tracking systems and torture methods
You plunder my underdeveloped hospitality
Like Jesus to a farm boy
As I scream **** you Mongoloid
I am gasping into your filth
A sacrificial lamb
Bliss by the slaughter wells
Mouthfuls of disgust
As your knees jab deep into skid row
Grinding the forgotten and the deserted
Until they are flattened corpses
****** dry of the water holding them together
You are pleased
The phantom has been fed and to ask for seconds would only tease the lamb
As I lay gushing organs with a smirk
Broken bent and emaciated
I feel alive and it is wondrous.
Nov 30, 2010
Nov 30, 2010 at 9:02 AM UTC
we all remember
where we were
watching the towers
burn and fall
knowing that things would
never be the same at all
disbelief at first, or
had an action movie
slipped into the news
no, it was real
and then twenty years
of vengeful repercussion
of military posturing
of suffering for many
we watched
the baddies being painted
good and evil
being redefined
virtue confused
impotence and power
conflated
lies and spin
consecrated
truth
alternated
idiot rich guys
promoted
tax for the poor
promulgated
democracy
desecrated
climate destruction
accelerated
by denialist
complacency
inequality
more concentrated
goodness and morality
infiltrated
by posturing political
pus weasels
venal vultures
of self interest
grasping for
short term dominance
and then ..
complacency pervaded
as absurdity
was accepted
as our new state of normal
and the height
of compassion
was owning a dog
and tut tutting
as refugees marched
across our news screens
and now we
bemoan being isolated
from being contaminated
we are mostly relegated
to stay in our mansions
while dinner is contemplated
have you been vaccinated?
Sep 11, 2021
Sep 11, 2021 at 4:32 AM UTC
Bloom, where do you go
when you are planted in this soil
soil, infiltrated with blue
the colour you wear so well
the only colour you can see
I try to mend these yellow dyed dreams
before they turn to green and the soil dries
the sky already grey
It's raining, every time you open your eyes
Dec 10, 2021
Dec 10, 2021 at 12:49 AM UTC
broken glass and christmas lights that don't light up anymore, i hung you about with glitter and gold, called you art, kissed your face. there were tattered things on our clothes, i spit words into the gutter and they ran down the stream into the ocean where the letters got tangled with a sting-ray, a clown fishes fins. tiny fawns painted themselves across your palms, they sung me to sleep at night, wandering down my back and across my nose when i couldn't breathe because there was something knotting my veins into pretty patterns, stopping the bloodflow and shutting down my liver slowly. ric-rac danced two-steps and alcohol-drenched cakes infiltrated tea parties where lace was all the rage and ladies always wore gloves, *** was a thing never spoken about. the fifth most dangerous city in the us took me under its wing, tucked me into train station corners while paedophilia took hold of the government and shook us soundly. people held candles into the night sky when the family was killed, when the police asked if they were involved with drugs, when tiny bodies littered the basement because they were old enough to identify the killer. notebooks and traced fingerprints hung on the walls like christmas decorations before thanksgiving, pictures of you taken in secrecy, dipped in fluid that looks black in the dark room.
i knit sweaters. they have rabbits and bears and deer on the front.
Nov 20, 2010
Nov 20, 2010 at 7:19 PM UTC
I yearn for meaningful conversation.
I crave touch.
**** emotions and expectations.
I hold back in fear of being consumed.
Why do I even try?
Destroy or be destroyed.
I can't hide anymore.
You infiltrated me,
I fail at removing you from my bones,
the scars are too intertwined.
I'm abandoned and I shatter,
I fall to pieces.
Utterly alone.
Aug 20, 2014
Aug 20, 2014 at 6:31 AM UTC
Tabloid, describes every speck of ****
that seeks a global audience
from your kid's kindergarten blog
to the Rockefeller save face
Yet, these big players are the worst tools
Richest person, never spending
except when it comes to public relations
Nowadays it's damage control before it even started
So just in case there's another Ludlow Massacre
26 men, women, and children, all dead
the people are trained to believe the trusted news sources
fake an eyewitness report using your wife
like the ambassador's daughter posing as a princess
to spark the Gulf War
There was no evidence of killing babies in a hospital
Just sensational
We've been molded for over a hundred years
to have global views
and distance keeps us from our like minded dissenters
We're dancing to the same undulating dissonance
We're losing our local centers and rhythms
Oct 19, 2015
Oct 19, 2015 at 11:18 PM UTC
Some people call them toe-mae- tos.
They’re toe- mat -toes to other folk.
Monsanto has patented versions
that may poison us and leave us broke.
Their genetically modified brand
belongs neither on plates nor in cans.
Their health effects may include cancer
In some other countries they’re banned..
They are touted for being resistant
To herbicides, thus reducing toil-
But herbicide residue is persistent
How quickly it poisons the soil.
If farmers, each season, must purchase
Genetically modified seeds
Monsanto will corner the market
For supplying nutritional needs.
How many Monsanto execs
infiltrated the executive branch?
With so much political sway
Its no wonder that they get their way.
Jan 31, 2012
Jan 31, 2012 at 5:38 PM UTC
Eyes like sapphires,
I fall to their halcyon gaze.
Mesmerized and thrown
into a drunken daze,
my walls crumble.
I lean towards your lips
but my emotions force a stumble.
Face to the ground,
your breathing the only sound.
I'm in the deep end.
My heart is infiltrated,
nothing left to defend.
Eyes like sapphires.
The only thing capable of navigating
the maze that is me.
Feb 23, 2013
Feb 23, 2013 at 6:07 PM UTC
I have washed my sheets hundreds of times
All in an effort to purge the memory of you
Your scent permeating my clothing
As thou you were the one inhabiting them
There is no sense in trying to get rid of you
My body has molded itself into your submissive
I have become so accustomed to your touch
Addicted to the sensation
Needing a fix, we both seek a night of sin
You have infiltrated my mind
Reading my thoughts
Manipulating me
Saying all the things you know I want to hear
Body stained with the blood of my lips
You stare down at me
I have once again been fooled by those eyes
Glowing with lust
I am swallowed whole by your insatiable desire for me
In my compliant nature, I kneel at your feet
Following ever command you utter
My body broken from the chains you’ve placed on me
I belong to you, property for you to tend to
But that night meant nothing to you
Those words you spoke, were all in an effort to exploit my vulnerability
I neglectfully admit that it worked
You have me, once again, at your service
It would be wise of me to end this already
For the sake of my own sanity and dignity
Consumed by your charm, but deterred by our past
I am drawn in
The alcohol rushing through my veins and the music radiating through my body
Nothing mattered in the moment, but now,
I am the fool who slept with you
Feb 28, 2019
Feb 28, 2019 at 2:32 PM UTC
I’m building this fort one block at a time,
as fast as I can, I‘m running behind,
Three blocks go up, then two fall down,
I’m not too far up off the ground,
If only I had hands to help,
this fort might withstand damage dealt.
I swear sometimes, I am alone,
these people here, this can’t be home.
Disguised as friends, to take from me,
things I’d give them openly.
No matter what I do or say,
to help someone in this same way,
It seems as though I end up standing,
with fortress blocks so condescending,
What exactly do I mean,
that greed has taken self-esteem.
Hope in hearts are infiltrated,
trusting blocks disintegrated.
Loyalty is put to shame,
cause their rules play another game.
Hollow blocks of truth degrade,
and think the friend you would have made.
It could be there, but you can‘t see,
until that day, my enemy.
I’ll not give up, I’m building back,
these fortress walls, I’ll double stack.
My calloused heart, won’t be the same,
but this will not, define my name.
I’ll still be here, building up,
so kindness just might be enough.
And one day bring those helping hands,
to build this fort with our great plans.
Now two blocks up at a time,
with dignity, we will shine,
we will make it to the top,
until that day, I will not stop.
Jun 26, 2011
Jun 26, 2011 at 8:42 AM UTC
you're sneaky, i'll give you that.
just when i wasn't looking
YOU
snuck into my ribcage
infiltrated the walls of cartilage
(and distrust)
and you stole it.
ripped it from the tangles of veins (and anger) and arteries (and fear)
and left me with nothing but hollow awe.
it's fine, you keep it.
Mar 18, 2013
Mar 18, 2013 at 9:52 PM UTC