"indecisively" poems
I halfheartedly grasped the ledge
Peering indecisively over the edge
Wondering perhaps in all seriousness if I should let go
A freefall of the mind is what they call it '
And if you do not experience it
Why and how could you possibly comment
And in all honesty, say it is an emotion you know?
A little less grew my grip on the edge
Taking momentary notice of the crumbling ledge
My mind wanders into a place where all is nothingness
And nothingness is the norm
I let my mind freefall as they call it
Into oblivion and time dissolved it
Finding myself very comfortable in this environment
I wished never to return
So I concocted a simple cunning game
Whenever spoken to by the seemingly sane
Smiling wickedly
Into nodding confirming faces
I repeat these words
A freefall of the mind is what they call it '
And if you haven't experienced it
How could you possibly comment
And in all honesty, say it is an emotion you know?
@ copyright Tammy M Darby Nov. 24, 2018
Nov 24, 2018
Nov 24, 2018 at 5:27 PM UTC
A loon communes on the lake,
the lake is a tear drop on Mother Earth,
the ripples flow like glass being blown,
I am perched on my porch.
The loon cries once more,
I puff on my cigar,
the smoke shifts indecisively,
it moves much like the unchained around me,
free willed and wild.
I dream of being unchained.
My branches stretch out,
they yearn for the sun,
but heavy grey clouds hang on puppet strings.
Overcast and encumbered by responsibility,
they shroud the sun,
blanket it with regret and doubt.
I dream of being unchained.
I lower my branches and shout,
but no one hears,
my voice is chained.
The loon cries out,
it echoes unrestrained.
Sep 28, 2017
Sep 28, 2017 at 12:52 AM UTC
Into the oblivion, regret is all he sees,
This is not who he is nor who he wants to be.
In all the truths and in all the lies,
Alone he stands in the rain, a lonely guy.
Not a soul can hear him scream nor hear him cry.
Alone he stands and alone he dies.
.
Time and time again I'm brought back to these halls.
So sore full the pain and I've been through it all.
As hidden as the faithfulness of the stars,
So everlasting are those ungrateful scars.
.
Everyone that I know is as much reckoning,
I know it's me even hell is beckoning.
I guess this is the moment, now is the time.
I can feel the vines of darkness taking over my mind,
Indecisively making it's way out of harm and out of sight.
But, god almighty. I ain't leaving this easy, not without a fight.
.
Already dead no more can I die,
I guess it's about time I went back to the dark side.
- Aks, Old Diaries.
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 2:02 PM UTC
In my so called startled desperately stance o' interactively yearnings,
So wantonly emerged the worse anomalies by far
(yet the peak-est good time) to come..
I'm so naturally stupefied..so inclined on making & molding,
making'& wanting
As trial & error precipitates;
Virtually stagnant in the stillness o' haven-
Temptation stricken--chaotic world..An idolatry dernier cri chic!
Sets the tone o' a Caring Mom, would tell her kids
Not to be fooled by a a mainstream fool-
A Con Artist as Weird as ***** gets!
For the norm to behold!
On the LOOk-Out
but not lethargic.
Stigmatized out o' the blue, I surely reflected,
In a Dark-Dreary tunnel -- I 'd Die for
& to Root for-serenity subsides!
As I come out, I see rays o' Guiding light, I reckoned ..
"I have given You EYES to see,Ears to hear and a mouth to speak!" ..
but perhaps as indecisively as I may seemed--
It is what IT is!!..,.
SORDID!..so holistic ambiguously odd for me alright.
I speak my MIND fervently...
But as one may say, "My Smile can mean a thousand Ships nor launches its Value than Money ..
For every Smile to give out Comes with
a Territory o' Joy & Hope worth-
Every seconds inhaled-Priceless--
The breath o' Eros exhumed ..
I'd rather be ever Smiling along comes..
Head over my shoulder
however excruciating
can be, in life.. .
Neither in Bliss o' Ecstasy nor Dismay.
Just as though to keep my SANITY intact..
Oh My God keep my Salvation up in Heaven above! ..
so Creepy, too
Cloddish to think.to be canny
At all cost!
& not easily persuaded by the devil.
Lurks to get me..
A standstill Safely & Warm in a timely fashion,
In my own Rosy- Scented room thy PRAY, Oh Lord forgive US ALL Sinners, may GOOD Girls & Boys go to HEAVEN & Bad BOYS & GIRLS go to HELL !
I stand uprightly poised attitude
& be corrected if one varies-
The Age of Aquarius in stateliness!
Aug 8, 2011
Aug 8, 2011 at 6:47 AM UTC
partly cloudy,
partly sunny,
clearly an indecisively
partly day,
bored, the heavens organized
a garden party, sky above,
eclectic crowd,
minted mixed,
party of partly
clouds, wind, sun rays,
summer showers and somehow,
I got partly invited...
but not partly windy,
no, entirely gusty
a workingman's breeze,
all grown up, full strength
has driven the good folk inside,
tho sailboats are entouraging fully,
just me and them in
Red Sea parting, a full blow,
unmistakably encouraging partying,
while under the influence
of white line snorting poetry
what is this partly poem doing?
receiving or bringing,
like the swirly gusts,
empowered but direction unknown,
I am partly confused,
I am partly clarified
lacking the metaphor skill,
he says to himself,
and to the over-hearers,
part with me not!
for I am partly this and that,
looking for reconciliation
of my accounts in full,
and will rely on your guidance
to seal the beams, patch the cracks,
write the parts of me that
you shall connect and declare
in one voice, unified
Will you?
Jul 27, 2014
Jul 27, 2014 at 6:48 AM UTC
In a run-down business crevice way
Fallin' crumbled brick crumbs and scattered fate
I state, that I'm an iris spying crawlers
whom inspire to be ballers
I'm a staler, indecisively inviting
you can read me as the rarest
innocent as a terrorist
Compare it, find me waning in the red room
and waxing like a night moon
I hate the ones who spare me
and **** the ones who dare me
See it as you wish,
I won't pray and I can't stay
and if you've found me at the platform
take shelter, here comes the storm
Jun 4, 2013
Jun 4, 2013 at 7:42 PM UTC
The sun rose upon me and only me
Or maybe it was a smile divine
Shining bright enough to bring life
To a barren desert and every grain of sand
Those smile smitten grains carried love and life
And warmth enough to drown the darkness of solidarity
Yet, with outstretched hands transfixed
Complacent and indecisively basking in their radiant flow
You'd never think a desert bowl of sand grains
Would slip the grip of any person within so few moments
And yet, and yet, alas, the last slipped through my fingers
And I clenched my fists so tightly blood slipped
Through my fingers and upon the smitten grains dripped.
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 6:21 PM UTC
Going back is a privilege
Only a memory has.
Though what is to come
Holds so much more promise
Than the shadows of the past.
The blinding lights of the future
Certainly hold uncertainty.
I trust in my decisions
I indecisively make.
I tiptoe through mines
Of bankruptcy and heartache
With no promise of an easy life,
A happy ending,
Or a forever after.
But fear not, I shall -
I tire of recurring dreams anyhow.
Jun 24, 2014
Jun 24, 2014 at 11:33 AM UTC
expectations and assumptions
you and i
we had it all
why am i here?
i said as i clutched onto my books
indecisively struggling
it is a common event that i never anticipate
must have been the invisible weight that i carry on my shoulders
or the sleep that I'm deprived of
it is easy to speak and make a fuss
but difficult to ignore the voices that echo in our heads
it is all too concentrated
i feel suffocated
but i still keep the noose on
and drag around my own being
in these places
it is like play pretend
and i am the impostor
it was them
who preferred the mask
confusion was the one who got lost
in what it thought to be a playground
i am still strangled by the noose
as i continue to lose
surrounding my neck for its pleasure
and i stay here
blankly staring at the wall
of memories
Apr 9, 2017
Apr 9, 2017 at 4:09 PM UTC
In my dreams
we're surrounded
at the bottom of the ocean
by a school of fish.
We're holding hands
and embracing all of it.
The light barley shining through
as the current indecisively moves,
The ocean may be deep
and sometimes spooky
but at least I'm swimming through it
with you.
Jun 15, 2017
Jun 15, 2017 at 4:29 AM UTC
Could you not feel pain barring on ones soul, could you indecisively open a grain of sanity with the courage to Lead life to freedom through a journey that could nourish the senses of reality given to a marvelous occupation.. this is what that is... that in which would deliver the relentless tyrant in ones self a mad man among eyes,
i am among whom who.... could not bare to see you stop.
Mar 2, 2016
Mar 2, 2016 at 7:47 AM UTC
the train's presence blows her hair
as the sleeping dust on the tracks
run to meet her face.
-
she wants time to slow
and the aftenoon to go by fast;
she indecisively decides
to take the second train.
-
She wonders how they're doing.
are they having fun in the cold; she
wonders if they're tasting the bitter
wind against their harsh tongues;
or if they feel the amount of angst
and anger she does, currently.
-
She tastes the quiet breeze
against her sweet tongue, back aching
in thought, her mind and eyes blurring
out what's happening right now:
on the train she's on.
Dec 1, 2013
Dec 1, 2013 at 2:05 PM UTC
The crux of it
The root of it
Is exactly this:
I was too scared
When I was 12
To give a girl a kiss.
That may seem small
But not at all
For the one that did not act.
Indecisively I felt true pain,
And I've been Hamlet in the sack.
I'm done.
I'm finished
Being the one
Who gives up
Without a try.
I tell you God
If I break my word
Then smite me down
I'll die.
From this day forth
A new man of sorts
From the ashes of regret
A fire's been sparked
This boys been charged
Not afraid of what he expects.
I claim not as mine
These thoughts I find,
Only freedom through my eye.
So hear me once
And hear me loud
I will no longer fear to try.
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 4:51 AM UTC
I’m indecisive, I act indecisively but today,
I have decided not to fight people,
Have decided not to argue with people,
Have decided not to hate other people,
Have decided not to compete with them,
But I did be in despair, for I fear my weakness, i may be tempted to decide, but if I’m tempted to decide, i will decide not to decide.
I suffer from indecision but for now,
I have decided not to be jealousy,
Have decided not to be greedy,
Have decided to be selfish,
Have decided not to do all of that,
But I did be in despair, for I fear my weakness, i may be tempted to decide, but if I’m tempted to decide, i will decide not to decide.
Oct 13, 2017
Oct 13, 2017 at 4:02 PM UTC
Imprints, emotional cuts that feel skin deep
I like the way your tears glisten on your pale skin
Priceless diamond drops
Chameleon eyes, changing along with the seasons
And with the shirts you indecisively choose to wear
For the people you pretend to like
You hold values close to your chest, worn like a necklace
Lip syncing yesterday's words I whispered to you
When we were in bed, alone and intimate
Forgetting about today because your head is on my pillow
Still kissing my lips and tasting my emotions I transfer onto you
Yearning to be loved, while loving relentlessly
Oct 30, 2014
Oct 30, 2014 at 7:57 PM UTC
I'm standing on the edge
With my head reminding myself how I got here—
That I've come too far to turn back
And my heart reminding myself how I got here—
That I can't give up now
My feet tremble indecisively
So my knees bend to hold my center of balance.
My hands evelope my neck
While my arms pull back just enough to prevent asphyxiation.
For, im trapped in this form of indecision,
So I put my indecisions to better use
And stand on a chair
With my indecisive feet
Trying to make sense of my existance and then inexistance
In between that manner of split seconds.
My indecisive knees deciding whether or not to let my feet push.
My indecisive arms making sense about to or not to spare my life
Another second or two
Afterwhich my feet no longer planted remain
For gravity only acts upon my neck
While my hands choke the neck that burns against mine
Hoping that perhaps the rope will give up before I do
Immediately I regret the decision
Or maybe I'm just preserving this suffering as long as possible
Since that which once felt can never again be thereafter
For, nothing there is after the soul removes itself except a corpse
For, the decision has been made.
There is no turning back.
There is only a push, struggle, and death.
Nothing more than that which was imagined beforehand—
Nothing less.
Sep 19, 2017
Sep 19, 2017 at 11:53 PM UTC
I watch, not seeing
I hear indecisively
Please leave me alone
Jun 27, 2014
Jun 27, 2014 at 8:39 PM UTC
I listen to songs
I curl in my bed
I jumped around
I laughed alone
I cried alone
But my mind was truly only
Thinking about you.
The songs fade away
The bed felt hot
I fell down
I cried and laughed indecisively
But my mind was truly only
Thinking about you.
Feb 14, 2016
Feb 14, 2016 at 12:27 AM UTC
"In any method you use,
you'll always end up choosing the wrong one."
I wanted to tell you that, last night.
How your decisions
would end up ruining everything,
but for once I'd like to think that maybe
it was wrong for me to think indecisively of you.
I may not know what it'll become of us,
but I hope it won't turn out to be like
the dream you once told me.
Dec 9, 2016
Dec 9, 2016 at 7:58 AM UTC