"incidence" poems
I fear thyself
I fear attraction
I fear unfamiliarity
I fear attention
I fear incidence
I fear conversation
I fear interaction
I fear answers
I fear questions
I fear to tell my story
I fear to hear yours
I fear compliance
I fear conflict
I fear benevolence
I fear mutuality
I fear victimisation
I fear change
I fear to love
I fear to hate
I fear significance
I fear insignificance
I fear the lies we tell
I fear the truths we hide
I fear imprisonment
I fear freedom
I fear hope
I fear despair
I fear old age
I fear children
I fear intelligence
I fear ignorance
I fear to take
I fear to give
I fear to borrow
I fear to loan
I fear to exchange
I fear to teach
I fear to learn
I fear to laugh
I fear to cry
I fear to be
I fear not to be
I fear to be afraid
I fear to be brave
I fear to die
I fear to live
I fear discomfort
I fear responsibility
I fear to gain
I fear to lose
I fear victory
I fear defeat
I fear antrophy
I fear hypertrophy
I fear inertia
I fear activity
I fear obedience
I fear disobedience
I fear justice
I fear injustice
I fear totality
I fear poverty
I fear embarrassment
I fear addiction
I fear declamation
I fear guilt
I fear pride
I fear delusion
I fear unfulfillment
I fear my apathy
I fear to be wakeful
I fear to be tired
I fear my capabilities
I fear my incapabilities
I fear my dreams
I fear my nightmares
I fear women
I fear men
I fear being disabled
I fear misinterpretation
I fear misrepresentation
I fear altruism
I fear limitation
I fear to endear
I fear to inspire
I fear to forget
I fear to remember
I fear self doubt
I fear discrimination
I fear starvation
I fear migration
I fear fragility
I fear formality
I fear banality
I fear enticement
I fear cruelty
I fear judgement
I fear to embrace
I endure what I fear
I endure because I must
I endure myself because I fear
Endure thyself
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 6:37 AM UTC
As long as it doesn't hurt,
I want you to imagine watching me being torn apart,
by powerful galloping stallions in a crowd full of naive people.
As I'm torn,
my deepest darkest secrets that only you know,
come pouring out.
You have become protective of these secrets because you have helped keep them for so long.
so you can feel my pain as the incidence unfolds before your eyes,
there is nothing you can do but watch and feel.
This is why I burnout and freakout,
every time I hear the word councillor or support,
it's like someone taking your job and getting respect for not knowing it like you did.
Oct 14, 2013
Oct 14, 2013 at 5:57 PM UTC
I walked into a high school,
with one friend,
the only friend I made in elementary school,
who stayed my friend.
My mommy Doesn't like her,
I walked into a high school,
and my only friends older sister,
who felt like my sister too,
Passed away,
the school didn't care that we all cried,
I walked into a high school,
and I tried to make other friends,
and a kid got ******
and he stole my phone,
the police did nothing to him like the school and he later ***** a girl,
I walked into a high school,
going into a program with high hopes,
only for them to get shattered by those who didn't wanna deal with me,
because people didn't get things related to ADHD,
and I wanted to drop out,
I walked into high school,
and skipped the class,
after the one where the teacher and students all harrassed,
me,
because when I reported it, it was their word against mine,
I walked into high school,
and I talked to the teacher who would harass me,
and tried to make him understand me,
understand how I can't do things like everyone else can,
and he made me head banana masher and then I puked,
I walked into high school,
and Skipped that class for the first time ever,
because the teacher made me *****
be he was absent that day,
and I got in trouble for skipping and "lying about the incidence"
I walked into high school,
and skipped my classes,
and cried in the bathroom,
and cut myself,
because I couldn't handle my panic attacks,
I walked into high school,
trying so hard to make some sort of friends,
and they yelled at me every time I ******* smiled,
because they didn't want to allow me to be happy,
The school wouldn't let me have friends,
I walked into high school,
and tried to hangout with people after school,
and they just yelled at me,
made up lie about where I was supposed to be,
They tried to get more mom mad at me,
I walked into high school,
oblivious to what love,
***
or abuse was,
and the boy I was seeing ***** me,
I walked into high school,
on the final day of freshman year,
to take my final so i could get the **** out of there,
and they harassed me the entire exam period.
they said things of confidentiality,
I walked into high school,
and everyday I left in tear,
with a scarred body,
and nothing but fear,
and they expect me to wanna come back the following year?
Jun 11, 2015
Jun 11, 2015 at 7:11 PM UTC
If any of the following side effects occur while taking prednisone, check with your doctor immediately:
More common
Aggression
agitation
anxiety
blurred vision
decrease in the amount of *****
dizziness
fast, slow, pounding, or irregular heartbeat or pulse
headache
irritability
mental depression
mood changes
nervousness
noisy, rattling breathing
numbness or tingling in the arms or legs
pounding in the ears
shortness of breath
swelling of the fingers, hands, feet, or lower legs
trouble thinking, speaking, or walking
troubled breathing at rest
weight gain
Incidence not known
Abdominal or stomach cramping or burning (severe)
abdominal or stomach pain
backache
****** black, or tarry stools
cough or hoarseness
darkening of skin
decrease in height
decreased vision
diarrhea
dry mouth
eye pain
eye tearing
****** hair growth in females
fainting
fever or chills
flushed, dry skin
fractures
fruit-like breath odor
full or round face, neck, or trunk
heartburn or indigestion (severe and continuous)
increased hunger
increased thirst
increased urination
loss of appetite
loss of ****** desire or ability
lower back or side pain
menstrual irregularities
muscle pain or tenderness
muscle wasting or weakness
nausea
pain in back, ribs, arms, or legs
painful or difficult urination
skin rash
sleeplessness
sweating
trouble healing
trouble sleeping
unexplained weight loss
unusual tiredness or weakness
vision changes
vomiting
vomiting of material that looks like coffee grounds
Some prednisone side effects may not need any medical attention. As your body gets used to the medicine these side effects may disappear. Your health care professional may be able to help you prevent or reduce these side effects, but do check with them if any of the following side effects continue, or if you are concerned about them:
More common
Increased appetite
Incidence not known
Abnormal fat deposits on the face, neck, and trunk
acne
dry scalp
lightening of normal skin color
red face
reddish purple lines on the arms, face, legs, trunk, or groin
swelling of the stomach area
thinning of the scalp hair
Dec 18, 2015
Dec 18, 2015 at 11:24 PM UTC
Picture the word Devastation.
What do you see?
Bodies in a motorcycle accident.
Buildings of fire falling.
But that is not it,
it cannot be. Picture the word
DEVASTATION.
What do you see?
I see something so unbelievably
personal.
Devastation must mean my own life
in wreckage. A body in a
motorcycle accident.
A jump from a
burning building.
I cannot divulge how deeply
this is seared in my thoughts.
Picture the word
Shame
Incidence
Accident
Immolation
Remember
Breath
Grass
Water
Wreckage
Picture the word Love.
What do you see?
Picture the word Devastation.
What do you see?
Are you surrounded?
Only a few?
Are you alone?
Do you want to be?
There is no shame in any answer.
I do not press my morality on others
but we must, must believe that.
There is no shame in any answer.
Jan 23, 2015
Jan 23, 2015 at 1:33 PM UTC
I can't help but be concerned with your every move
with my mind developed in solitude
You move with out care with drunken eyes
Over mornings with an aching sighs
You speak with conviction
A smile with devious intention
But with a fire of daemonious concerns,
An Attention for fallen angels, you learn.
That the reality is not complete
Disconnected from you, and discontented
You elicit change in others providing
Romantic praise in libations of initiations
You gather lives, pressing a piece of yourself
In each intimate encounter – satisfied
That you have made light of their candle
A blue flame of resolving promises
You have kept yourself well
Free, intangible from the intrinsic
Drawing from your own ambiversive nature
Clearing your own torture of monotonous conjecture
I almost lost your reflection
From the diversion of an incidence
Realizing your beauty surpassed superficiality
Through your eyes I see aesthetic sensuality
Jan 23, 2010
Jan 23, 2010 at 2:33 PM UTC
**Let this night
Bury in itself
All the evidences
Of what happened
Let the wind
Absorb in itself
The screams
No soul heard
Let this floor
Be cleared
Of the innocence
That was taken away
Let these walls
Be painted a new shade
To silence them
so they never tell the tale
Let the incidence
Be turned into twisted politics
A step sideways, and two backward
Never evolving
Let the world
Be dumb and deaf
To the injustice
Done
Let the candles
Be lit in her memoir
And watch them wax
As the news get old
Let the case be placed
Under a big pile of dusty, unsolved files and say**
We did our best
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 3, 2015 at 6:02 PM UTC
Seven New Poems For Seven Days #4: Judgement Day
After you put in some time on this planet,
You kinda know what the world thinks
About you, your rep, what they don't say to your face,
Sure, thingies, time and incidence and circumstance
Can sometimes cause makeovers external,
But each of us know the quality of ourselves,
Self-certification,
you can out your internal self,
Better than anybody else.
So I inquire of myself, about myself,
what will you be remembered for,
if at all?*
Why do I ask, today, now?
Do we not ask ourselves this
On the low down, subconsciously everyday?
Is this a poem?
Most assuredly...
And a trial.
You, the judge the jury and the prosecutor,
The defender, if u can, if u will.
For seven days my mother was adjudged,
Family, friends, hers, her children's,
Almost an 100 years of live, in color, HD, looking back video,
Tales told, memories dug up, old photos explicated,
Who what when where of the details of one women's voyages,
Creations.
I cannot, I will not, do the details here.
Suffice, acts of kindness, faith in people,
Feminist in a strange land, a chance taker,
Gifts of memories, streaming of adoration,
Many strangers are witnesses to me,
This trial a runaway train.
I am outed. There will be no such verdict for me.
I am outed. There will be no trial needed, just a
Summary judgement delivered.
Out yourself.
What will you be remembered for,
if at all?*
Aug 1, 2013
Aug 1, 2013 at 11:25 AM UTC
The town of Fukushima
is a place where few will go.
Since the reactor breached
containment
it has a sad, unhealthy glow.
The mice and bees and butterflies
Did not make their escape
High radiation levels
lead to DNA mistakes
The butterflies have shrunken wings
and other gross defects.
The high incidence of mutations
has Leipidopterists perplexed.
When they talk among themselves,
as they do from time to time,
Some blame evolution,
Some Intelligent Design.
Aug 15, 2012
Aug 15, 2012 at 10:05 PM UTC
Where the rising field
folds
under the light
horizon
taking the land out up
into the sky
and you've no idea what lies
on the down slope
to a ditch
past a scattering
of cows;
beyond the lamp in the window
where the unshut curtain
hangs
as a figure appears pauses
bends to look at something takes
it away and leaves
to read and read;
at the bus stop people
standing
waiting for a number
a shape
a co-incidence of time
and place;
and you've no idea who
or why:
this the axis
of the mind.
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015 at 1:59 PM UTC
a couple of incidences we shared,
both on my bed, near sunrise
feeling kind of high, tired
and hopeful
smooth skin,
a soft gaze, smirking
lying about your age
you matched me, in
recklessness and silence
a night long ceremony
where we fell asleep
together with a hollow passion
I won’t try to remember you,
or your natural hair color
I’ll think unprotected ***
and cheating on my (then) girlfriend
Feb 22, 2012
Feb 22, 2012 at 7:53 PM UTC
Teary eyes, crocked lips
Broken faith complementing crooked hips
Factory of life they tell,
wounded souls, whispers to hell
Losing faith, into voids
Body aches yet to avoid
How this makes me stronger I ask
making it bitter for every task
my soul cries and pleads
body is something it needs
for if there is no strength in body to support
what is the meaning of these milestones that I report
I fear I’ll lose my existence
no one will remember this soul in any co-incidence
for again I plead for strength in this body
Will power doesn’t seem enough for a crippled body.
Jul 23, 2016
Jul 23, 2016 at 11:30 AM UTC
My mother was 20 when it happened
in a dark veil, she planted a fruit of nine months
in the ground, never to grow again, and
even though she never talks about it, I can still
see the pain, sometimes in her hollow cheekbones,
frail shoulders and in every sad smile on seeing
a little boy.
The summer that was supposed to fill
my mother with cacophony of newborn cries
and shouts, only brought sadistic tune of death,
that summer I’m sure my mother must have
counted all her sins for the fate she received
and even though my mother still prays to God
every day, I doubt if she never hated Him, that
summer she must have rocked the little cot,
she still preserves like her precious, back and forth,
her mind racing likewise to every “what if”s,
my father still praises her of being a strong woman,
she never cried except for that one day, the doctor
entered her room with a grim face and empty hands,
my mother has raised her other kids to be good people,
she never poured her feelings to us, never shut herself
to dig into the harsh memories of that stillborn, but
I know her pain resides in her every nerves and veins,
she carries her tears at bay but not for once lets
waves overcome her, my mother is a strong woman,
30 years of that incidence and my mother still holds
onto those memories firmly, like it was only yesterday.
My mother must see him in every little boy,
from the park, she must imagine him as a 10 year old,
living next door, her body has shrunken like the raisin
in water, but that memory has still not faded, still not
covered a layer of dust because she goes down that
memory lane, every night, tugs at her hair, bites at
her shawl to keep from screaming, my mother is a strong woman,
I’ve never see her crying.
Jun 15, 2015
Jun 15, 2015 at 10:57 PM UTC
See me here, and there, see me, pieces of me everywhere?
See those chains, broken pieces of wood, those broken locks?
See the dust flying and then, all the stopped clocks?
See the piece you ripped out, that girl you ripped from there?
That you ripped me like i was paper, without a care?
Like i were words that you had read and had consumed and become?
Well you read me, gave up, construed an new ending, and now i am not one.
See me standing here, strong, proud and defiant,
see my broken self on the floor, that i protect like a giant?
See that picture of me that shows all, is bare and naked, and true?
see this girl that is too young to understand, that you weren't really you?
see this girl ripped from my soul and my very inner, tenderly safe heart?
Because you had to take me, just, well just because, you wanted to take me apart?
And now i stand here, a warrior, armour, and an axe in my hand,
ready to cut down any predatory seeds you may have planned?
See me like a mother spoon feeding and holding til the morning light?
see her curl inside a foetal position, crying in candlelight.
See me trying to sew her back into place, to where she is safe from harm,
see her pulling, screaming from me, scratch marks down my arm.
See me telling her over and over, you are love, you are loved, you are....
see her wishing she could erase you all, make you die in a car,
or a un-fort-un-ate in-ci-dent, where you realise your deathly wrong,
or Do you see me now, incomprehensibly, broken but beautifully, strong.
See this hand, holding out for a hand to hold
to gather this girl in her arms until she grows old?
So when you broke those locks and stopped a moment of my time,
you pulled a girl from inside of me, for she was all of mine.
So when you ripped that paper in half in an act of 'incidence'
I now hammer down these nails, steel upon fired steel, building rows of iron fence.
And this girl you forgot to address in your misdoing and ***** way,
now begins to stand, holds out her hand and we sit together and pray.
See me now as i build myself ten times, a thousand times, bigger, wider, than before,
I make a huge fortress in my body for my girl, and pick her up from the floor.
See me standing here, half written and half ripped and torn under the sun,
I can take all that you gave me, be renewed and reborn, we become one.
For she is back here with me now, as i stand tall, tainted and blissfully strong,
for i know to pull myself back together, i have to understand,
It was not my fault, you were in the wrong.
You will never be me, you will never beat me, you will never break us apart,
You will never find solace in your ***** weak, thirsty, starved heart.
Jul 7, 2014
Jul 7, 2014 at 6:13 PM UTC
He thought for a second before turning away and said "Don't mistake it for a mere co-incident, luck or fate. It's so much bigger than that, like you see in a movie every single time and you do what ?, You disagree, you say things like these don't happen in the real world. You are only afraid because it is so simple. And it is so simple. That's why you are more scared than surprised, I can see it in your eyes."
She whispered in the ushering silence
"But why did it happen the way it did?"
He took a deep breath. Staring at the floor, and like an inspired teacher addressing a curious student, he began in a gloomy tone..
"It was meant to happen and it did, as simple as that. Nothing is perfect, and that tiny amount of imperfection we can never erase, that tiny percentage of something unexpected. That separates us from the world, because the world without us is perfect and meaningless.
He paused for a brief moment as if he was reflecting on his words.
" It needs us, our stories, Because equilibrium is ****** and boring. And yet everything runs towards it, the reason things exist and we breathe. Chaos has always been very instrumental in the making of our world, random chances that were gifted too many number of times. That cannot be mere co-incidence, luck or fate. And that's why this also cannot be so."
She just stood there absorbing every feeling that she could retain for tomorrow.
Now twenty years later, watching her children play with her husband of fifteen years.
She finally understood.
Sep 15, 2016
Sep 15, 2016 at 12:04 PM UTC
they receive, interpet, discard, rehydrate, delegate, redistribute,
brook no, smile stupidly at stupidity, opinionate but never lecture,
never hector, rarely curse unless it is essential, tell good jokes, abhor verbosity, act on instinct, admit error when instinct stinks, sharpen
their teeth, their tongue, and their verbal reciprocity skills
in case,
life becomes interminable intermittently intolerable when other creatures impose, flagellate, pontificate, render the impossible as quite likely, reveal things I wish I never heard, detail the details of the inexplicably intricate uninteresting with prodigious force, and an unlimited absence of periods, commas, or breaths taken,
and escape
impossible for some meetings require good manners, first dates the remote but not trivial possibility that a false start has or can occur,
(see The Pleated Skirt poem) and the incidence of really good books in very poorly designed book covers…ditto the men variety of same!
Mar 3, 2024
Mar 3, 2024 at 8:34 PM UTC
Let me tell you a story
Of a night
When I took 9 tiny pills
Hoping to die.
It was a irrational action
I admit
But this incidence
Ceased my impending "wake"
I arose the next morning
Wondering if I'm dead
And if this was what heaven felt like.
But when I heard the all too familiar scream
I realized
I'm back in hell again.
To school I went
Chuckling in my head
Of how foolish man can be
To not realize a single thing.
The whole day I did math:
9 times 500mg
Divided by 1000mg
It was more than 3 times of the stated dosage.
I chided myself then
Why didn't I get more
Why didn't I have the audacity
To rob the first aid box.
But soon
I've came to realize
It wasn't the dosage
Nor the amount that mattered.
It was the fact that
*Life was still mine to deal
And play with for longer days.*
I didn't want it
But I've no choice
"GET OVER IT"
I tell myself
Over and over again.
But I never once did
Oct 1, 2013
Oct 1, 2013 at 12:12 PM UTC
When you're gone,
And I'm far away,
I hear the silence,
and the slow decay,
Of faith, and the way I see
And the things I believe
Rear their heads and gnash their teeth
At me, and I wanna scream
And run away to a better place
Where the sunshine hits your face
For me to appreciate
your grace
And I'm filled with these images
Of a happy life and care-free innocence
I can almost taste the vividness
Where life would pass without incidence
Sun up, sun down, synchronous
Rid the plague of ambivalence,
Let me fly away
Aug 18, 2014
Aug 18, 2014 at 8:20 AM UTC
The bed is clean,
the floor unoccupied
I see you in every corner,
under every canopy of incidence
Where have you gone,
my constant companion?
Leaving me with a heart
the size of your paw?
Are you loitering down the alley?
Or comfortably where the stars lie?
Have you only lost your way home,
or found a better one somewhere?
It can't be true what they say
about nine lives;
you been granted too many.
Then why now, do you stay afar?
Cross the enemy of divide,
and leap back to your jute bag of joy!
I can't survive these shades of grey,
they are nothing without white and black.
Jul 15, 2012
Jul 15, 2012 at 2:09 PM UTC
1
Defined by an intense need to
apostrophize and to tether, dictated by nothing
but your definitive space’s lissome address,
when visited, opens up to a closing, or sizing a gap
if syndetic, and reaching out for a retreat a frail gesture
meaningfully pursuing a link, a strain that is
2
When you were alive because you felt it, subscribing
to a phenomenon, granted by a sovereign of our difference
unconsciously at first it was statutory to a fault but then conceding
to it and accepting, fit in this meeting as if too relaxed
that it may sleep or bear noise even – your incidence of me sees clearer
than any lens, and when fond of, you will
make out of my clenched fists, when put together, a diptych with
your hands taken into, receiving constantly the burden of days
3
As destination of a truth
that is if you listen that there is something inaudible in this
reality – your dream will make an apparition out of its center,
said when it is too comfortable to even slouch at a constant day,
setting this faculty tranquil the face of a punctual eve
somnambulating through towns triggered by dim white light,
forcing windows to contract, the body somewhere afloat, contacting
the precision of something as rescue,
your life seen with value when peril touches your deepest parts,
almost daily in this location as if you were shorn out of
difficulty, looking for me to halve all of this.
May 24, 2016
May 24, 2016 at 2:59 AM UTC
"Be strong", cry out the tough at heart.
Feel not that inward pain.
Let hurt emotions linger not,
only protective minds are sane.
Look not into her face of hurt
for you may feel it, too
It's hard enough to brave her shield
let alone, keep covered, you.
When inhibited to deeply feel,
incidence of pain abound.
The hearts skips the intensity
so unique, when love is found.
When sensitivity is surrendered
true emotions cannot surround.
The beauty of eternity then chimes
without a sound.
Dec 23, 2010
Dec 23, 2010 at 5:33 PM UTC
#*Look at us
Together again..
And as you're burning me down in ashes
For the last time you speak to me
Yet there is no more of "we"
This might be just a co-incidence
But while ending my existence, you smile
And I feel happy that I am still on your mind
This evening, it's romance in its rawest form
But the people out there think we're fighting a war,
You know they can't see -now we've come so far
When you walk away from my concluding lifetime
I ask you to walk like a hero
I know you broke me, but it takes courage to do so*#
Apr 22, 2018
Apr 22, 2018 at 8:51 AM UTC
*Amidst your bewildering life ,
you meet someone and its so clear that the two of you are familiar to each other , that on some level you belong together.
As lovers , as bestfriends , as friends , as family , or as something which is beyond any relationship...utterly different.
There is this link that you know from the very start. You just work whether you understand one another or you dont , whether ur lovers of insanity or partners in crime. You come across these people through out ur splendid life, out of nowhere , under the most perplexing circumstances but you know that no matter what,they are always there. Not for anybody else. But you.
They make you feel alive , like ur not off-track and that they always dazzle ur life with exclusive support,fondness and tenderness.
I donno if that's what you call co-incidence or fate, or sheer blind luck but it definitely makes me believe in something.
Something which is beyond words.
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 26, 2015 at 7:49 AM UTC