"imodium" poems
Oh to be outstanding
The envy of the competition
Persecute your staff
Beat them into submission
Observe, observe, observe
Big brother's watchful vision
Ticking the right boxes
OFSTED the clinical prison.
Countdown to the tension
All pristine and plush
Staff room full of imodium
Lecturers with the bums rush.
Enjoy, achieve, the mantra
All students must behave
Differentiation ********
Woah betide should 1 disengage.
Good with outstanding features
Nearly there, thou shalt not rest
Cut the ******** principal
Its really second best.
Satisfactory & beyond
The prin is hot to trott
Arranging special measures
You'll all be ****** shot.
OFSTED, jack boot people
Gestapo in the making
Strangling education
Ensuring you're all faking.
Inspectors, nah! Failed teachers
Getting their own back
Splitting hairs & picking faults
Nasty ****** *****
Oh how the mighty fall
So without further ado
Leave them teachers alone
OFSTED, you ***** **** YOU.
May 24, 2015
May 24, 2015 at 3:56 AM UTC
But wait!
Why don’t you invite some friends?
Pepto Bismol, Tum’s, Imodium, Kaopectate, and then a moment in thought, “I only have one life to live for my country”
I don’t think so
I would also make sure I have my legal document in placed and a Bed Pan if I just can’t make it
Well the Bake Off is on
But let me stand back where I belong
The competitors are baking with all their secret ingredients
I wonder what’s their secret?
I don’t want to know
But on with the show
Just don’t tell my stomach in advance
Now back to the Bake Bake Bake Off
The competitors are now ready to place their cakes into the oven
The oven is set at 350 to heat
This might be a good time to retreat
But I might have to be the Judge
However, why do I feel like I am being nudged
It’s a ***** job but someone must do it,but why me?
The cakes are ready for the taste test or garbage bag
There were five competitors:
COMPETITOR# 1 - Cake went flat like a tire
COMPETITOR# 2 - Cake couldn’t be cut, and the only words that came
out of the Competitors mouth was “BUT”
COMPETITOR# 3 I am not sure if it is a Layer Cake or Pancake
COMPETITOR# 4 Shouldn’t be in the competition as cake had nasty
all over it.
COMPETITOR# 5 Well done with their cake in bake. It was moist and
Tasteful. Now that was a cuisine.
Well I managed to get through the whole ordeal as I am still to tell the tail and aftermath.
This concludes a moment of bake
As how does my stomach feel in this journey, let’s just say “Give or Take”.
Jun 16, 2018
Jun 16, 2018 at 8:17 AM UTC
"Young child"
As mother's will do
In my shoe
Was a dime
To call from a payphone
If out
Past my time
"Teenager"
In my wallet
A ******
Tucked neatly away
With the hope
Some young girl
Would invite me to play
No luck
On that though
As the ****** expired
Wore a ring
In the leather
New wallet acquired
"Old man"
Protection remains
In my wallet today
It never expires
Never throw it away
I just changed the brand
No more Trojan for me
Imodium now
When you're old, you'll agree
May 24, 2023
May 24, 2023 at 4:49 PM UTC
Imodium, imodium,
Such a wonderful drug
If my arsehole's a drain,
Then imodium's the plug
Rusty radiator water,
Pouring from my behind,
It splashes so high,
I risk going blind,
But Imodium to my rescue,
Fixing me up in a jiffy,
Back to when pooing,
Merely gave me a ******
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 12:35 PM UTC