"idealized" poems
come sit on my words
dear reader
like outdoor furniture
for thin hips
while spooky poets peer up under gaudy umbrellas
nervous about making a good impression
all of your hosts
snuffed candles burning-out
for metaphors and alliterations
begging
one poem at a time
for a light
that we will never see
go ahead
antagonize me
you, who live in an idealized passed
fear the future
and ignore the present
while i hide like a little girl
behind the bare legs of poetry
that will show you!
my head a hanging web
that feels words like cosmic storms
tumbling stone heads
onto boulders of terracotta shards
my ink smells like stinky saliva
a dragging wet tongue of ambiguity
a kabuki fight to the death
unwinding paper machete viscera
and plucking out make-believe hearts
while gobbling fortune cookies containing
jokes, platitudes, and fortunes
that never come true
in a dreamland of masturbation's
i'm trying to break something in you!
Jul 9, 2018
Jul 9, 2018 at 4:45 PM UTC
What did I pause about the other day- was it at the kitchen table? I think so- I was sitting down next to my fluorite crystal- something occurred to me- it was a pleasant thought, I remember, something a bit marvelous, I winked at my pretty little stone and she winked back. Oh! I think it was sparked from Arundhati Roy’s novel God of Small Things. Or no, I think it was the smell of spring wafting through the window that transported me to sweet grass-stained jeans at six. (How Consciousness can subvert Time! Making past present, making present eternal and infinite- undermining order imposed and idealized- tirelessly trying to give itself, but faltering before the closed fist of human conquest). Or perhaps it was the language and sensation simultaneous that lifted from within me this deep affection- for what, I do not know. For everything and nothing, I suppose. For all that is and all that be—and all that must cease to be.
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 25, 2015 at 11:27 AM UTC
Your soulmate is not someone that
comes into your life
peacefully
It is who comes to
make you question things
who changes
your reality
somebody that marks a
before and after
in your life
It is not the human being
everyone has idealized
but an ordinary person
who manages to
revolutionize your world
in a second...
Mar 21, 2014
Mar 21, 2014 at 9:51 PM UTC
absent from my life,
but dancing forever in my mind.
preserved perfectly:
idealized and beautified,
immortal, god-like.
wanting to let go,
yet holding on too tight.
memories, exaggerated:
they haunt me,
notoriously unreliable.
close my eyes;
take me back in time…
before I was bloodied by his arrow.
Oct 17, 2021
Oct 17, 2021 at 11:38 PM UTC
staying up late just thinking of all the could-beens and should-beens that could and should have been us.
what if we'd tried a little harder? persisted a little longer? held on to each other as tightly as we should have?
would you be by my side then, instead of the empty void staring tauntingly back at me?
would our hands be clasped together, interwoven,
your eyes that once bored right back into the back of mind haunting me wherever i would go,
your touch tattooed into the skin of my palms as they once were?
what if i hadn't let go?
what if i'd learnt fate's cruel lesson that
possessing the trait of fickleness never awarded anything but everything slipping past, earlier?
would you be willing to stay with me then, and forgive me for all the wrongdoings that i would inevitably cause?
would we have ever evolved into more than just an idealized dream drawn from a fragmented memory,
the idea of an irrevocable love that despite having been mulled over for what would've seemed like an eternity,
has never seen the light of reality before?
then again, everything does appear only better when it's all in your head.
when i can still pretend that you are who i expect you to be,
and i may be accepted for who i am truly,
excess baggage of unneeded insecurities and imperfections weighing me down and all.
is it better to be cleanly rejected or to be
torn down bit by bit,
night by night,
spent just staring at a blank screen and waiting,
hovering over imperishably,
pure naive hope fuelling the drive to continue delaying the inexorable?
foolishly believing that crossed fingers and
any lingering feelings that hadn't yet been sieved away by the
jaded culture we exist and drown in today
would perhaps, even if accidentally,
as if out of a fairytale that i starkly don't belong to,
send me a text back?
Jul 25, 2018
Jul 25, 2018 at 7:06 PM UTC
The twilight speaks of greater
Greatness, for your spirit soars
Across the horizons of life and
The living--- leaving an era of
Idealized legacy of redeemed
Human equality and possibility.
The indomitable soul you once
Wore under your colored skin
Fuels our aspirations for a better
World of kaleidoscope of faces,
Races, and happiness. Nelson,
Now that you have entered
The narrow door of immortality,
Let our tears be a vindication to
Your ideals of freedom and
Democracy. Rest in His peace
Our dear old man. For the world
You toiled to change is now our burden
Just as how we are burdened with
Your humility and humanity.
Dec 6, 2013
Dec 6, 2013 at 2:25 AM UTC
*Increasingly distorted memories
slowly succumbing to darkness
Some fallen, some forced into
the oubliette of my subconscious
Figures of the past linger tentatively
before receding into shadow
Familiar strangers they do seem
as if merely remnants of dreams
The looking glass of childhood friends
mirrors an unrecognizable effigy
An idealized reflection of a former self
unflinching in its accusatory glare
Whispers persist from imprisoned depths
for I am silently being recalled to life
Somehow I've forgotten how to be
the only person I've ever wanted to be
Somehow I've forgotten how to be me*
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 11:09 PM UTC
Just because I can laugh in the face of my enemy
It does not mean that I am strong
It can mean that I am weak
That the fight inside me
That used to make me curl my lips and snarl
At those who oppose me and all that I am
Is gone
It can mean that there is nothing left to do
But be complacent
For there are some enemies that cannot be beaten
Some people are enemies simply by existing as themselves
They are so hardened like cement
In their own idealized perfect reflection of their lives
They see it every morning
And they continue to be the reason that I see nothing
But my own fear
After wiping the condensation from my mirror
The unbeatable enemy makes me laugh
Not because I am strong
But because it is amusing
To think that I once thought
That I could beat them
Jan 28, 2014
Jan 28, 2014 at 6:05 PM UTC
hedonic adaptation
living, breathing an
idealized state
transparent powers
an aesthete with an
affinity for anarchy
shamelessly insinuating
fatal errors in identification
extraterrestrial ***********
at the core of our unity
probing at a molecular level
damning the will to connect
a creative protest against
the artificial
daydreams bleach
inferiority complexes
and insight breaks through
dark and damaging
sacrificial secrets
thrusting toward the deep end
forgoing progress through
flawed perception
the bright light shining through
your self inflicted wounds
cannot be ignored
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 4:24 PM UTC
Ethics of war were not followed,
Neither by the army under me,
Nor by that wise commander,
I shattered all the regulations,
Especially the ones formulated by me.
I, Đroņa, was a war criminal,
They had him surrounded when
I commanded Abhimanyu's killing.
Classical rules of war idealized,
Don't attack the outnumbered enemy,
I helped form the Chakravyuha,
A forbidden aggressive war formation,
'Abhimanyu' was killed by many,
He was so outnumbered by our army,
Đraupađi, his mother, cursed me,
She cursed I'll die lamenting my son.
Jul 23, 2017
Jul 23, 2017 at 12:49 AM UTC
There is a weird
And not so wonderful fetish
Particularly British
Common
Amongst commoners
In the United Kingdom
Although the aristocracy
And royalty
Are seen by all
With eyes to see
To have behaved
Abominally
Tortured and twisted
Enslaved, enchained
***** re-shaped
With bloodstained hands
The entire planet
Sending ordinary
More innocent
English men
To do their ***** work
Their dastardly
Disastrous deeds
As slaves of knaves
Through common British eyes
These horrible people
Are placed high upon
Holy pedestals
Romanticized
Idealized, Idolized
Canonized
Perhaps there's some
Vicarious thrill
Exercising
Enforcing
Power and evil will?
But the hand no pleasure gets
When, through rubbing, wets itself!
Sean Hunt
Windermere January 1st 2016
Jan 1, 2016
Jan 1, 2016 at 3:19 PM UTC
"Wish in one hand and **** in the other."
Your disappointments leave me smothered!
Wake up tomorrow - why even bother?!
I'm just a drunk like my ******* father!
You say there's hope, but it's a ghost
A dream you wish to see at the most
I guess you can call me, "Skeptic"
Not paranoid - just ******* sick
Hell on Earth seems to be dawning quick!
Just a simple wish upon a star
You're abuse has gone too far
I'll just sleep off all the scars
Another shot of whiskey in my glass
Getting tipsy before I kick your ***
I just need to calm myself at long last
My dreams are filled with too many images of you
You're the past and I know that we're through
I guess all these demons will just have to do
Keep coming back, because I'm a ***** for more
I must be a ********* at the ******* core
Ptolemy - what's wrong with our souls?!
We look past the stars to gaze at black holes!
I don't believe and I can never be deceived,
for this paranoia permits no bit of reprieve
I guess everything is just as it seems -
idealized, and finalized - know what I mean?!
I know returning to you will only cause me pain
I'm no Queen but you're the King that reigns
As a lowly peasant, I know I must refrain
But there is just something that draws me to you
The stars have predicted the truth
And I know there's nothing I can do
You've moved on, I keep thinking about the past
I know the heartache cannot be surpassed
I'm just sorry that I ever asked
For my final ******* act the stage has just been set:
Dead man walking, but I don't have one regret
Is it the psychosis in my brain
or the necrosis in my veins?
Either ******* way, I've never been more sane
Head on to heartbreak - let romantics rot
Pardon this dead cat, but out of everything I've taught,
why was reciprocity the one you forgot?
If there's a cure for bad blood, you can keep it
Your shit's been sewn so now it's time to reap it
Jul 5, 2015
Jul 5, 2015 at 8:50 PM UTC
I guess I feel threatened by your strength
I guess I feel threatened by your beauty
I build brick layers between us.
What is that?
She ushered me to that golden path of sacred
My hands seek but grasp not
But there is something there to be taken
Why the blinders?
Why the stammer?
I have never been so confused
‘Olobeouch,’ the Yapese say
A tangling predicament worth
Unraveling with a fine-tooth
Bamboo comb
What about awareness
Emotional terror both by day
And by night
The subtle insidious kind
Calm waves of sad
Inertia creeps
What is that?
How do I heal when--
(and thanks for putting words to it, Rudy):
When it feels like the arms of my
Clock have arthritis?
Ship wreck on the wrong shore
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My feelings for you have grown needlessly ornate
Yours for me, simple
Sullivan says:
Friendship is underrated
Because of its inherent
Ability to be so earthen
So organic
And, thus
Conceptualized
Less
So why have I built
Nonsensical negativity?
Self-sabotage
What is that?
I’m not that guy.
I told you:
“I want so much more of you than I need”
I didn’t know at the time that I got it twisted
Maybe:
I need you more than I want to admit
Love the one you’re with
I idealized, romanticized the **** out of you
Before I even came back
I shot myself
Big toe on rifle trigger
A nice distraction from more
Pressing issues?
What is that?
I thought I was alone
But you reminded me
I am not
I can’t tell you how much that means to me
Those words:
Struck match
In a dark room
I’ve not let anyone acknowledge or
Sympathize with my lingering ache
Much less help anyone understand it
What is that?
I’m not that guy
I’ve never been that guy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I let news of:
Thousands killed by super typhoon
Refugee birth
******** hunter casualty
Child victim of AIDS
Remind me that my pain is small
Pretending that that news is
Good enough to build perspective
And deal with pain
When it isn’t
“We accept the love we think we deserve”
I guess I thought I didn’t deserve you
Thank you for reminding me that that is
Not Truth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ask me unprovoked questions
By the sea, under a tree
Whisper me stardust
Because one day I want to say:
Love me for the man I’ve become
Not the man I was
I touch the tip of your nose
Nov 14, 2013
Nov 14, 2013 at 5:31 PM UTC
With my poetic words, I’m looking to breathe Life
into the souls and spirits of others to prevent…
the conditions that lead one to a spiritual Death;
with directness, my messages’ clarity is clear,
as instructed in the Great Commission from Christ.
Temptations of head-scratching, clutter, confusion
and being overly clever are avoided, when Biblical
references are supplied; hopefully, my personality
shines through, despite my analytical thinking and
my spiritual creativeness of expressing Salvation.
My idealized thoughts are evident and recognizable;
now most of my readers, can easily detect the sound
of my inward voice, with its straight-forwardness
and consistency. Finding a resonance of Faith, they
can identify and love poems… that are analyzable!
Sep 3, 2016
Sep 3, 2016 at 6:42 PM UTC
This self-imposed darkness I have put in place
Runs like wildly tumbling water in my veins
Expressing itself as I release in words from each pore
All of my self-imposed pain
This proud isolation that I hold myself captive within
Contains no flowers to brighten its view
Only my infatuation with this sentence I’ve imposed
On myself and these chains I wear too
In fleeting expressions of freedom to be found
I stare longingly at a windowless door
Then tremble in fear and confusion at the mere thought
Of even walking across the floor
My idealized image of how my life should be
Holds me captive here in my own war
I am the only one who can release me from this space
Untie myself and walk out my windowless door
May 30, 2010
May 30, 2010 at 8:01 AM UTC
Quiescence:
The world yet to be;
change is imminent.
Excrescence:
The world as holistic;
change is traumatic.
Juvenescence:
The world as wondrous;
change is fascinating.
Adolescence:
The world as oppressive;
change is institutional.
Tumescence:
The world as idealized;
change is self-discovery.
Hyalescence:
The world as conceived;
change is forgotten.
Obsolescence:
The world as impossible;
change is unimaginable.
Senescence:
The world as finite;
change is death.
Obmutescence:
The world beyond conception;
change is māyā.
Latescence:
The world as a memory;
change is time.
Putrescence:
The world as continuous;
change is nature.
Rejuvenescence:
The world in utero;
change is birth.
Feb 27, 2014
Feb 27, 2014 at 6:45 PM UTC
scraping salsa off a festive snowman infested paper plate
I asked myself about the meaning of life
my last tortilla chip cracked under the pressure of my thoughts
and I was left with salty finger tips and a half empty stomach
I guess when you’re living in personalized, small-sized pizza
of a school the food is never filling and questions are never answered
No matter how many times I tell myself I know what I’m doing,
I wake up every morning just as lost at the day before
cracking my dreams like chips, bitter as the salt on my finger tips,
I’ve become a half empty stomach impossible to fill
one of these days I’ll be a home-cooked meal—
mashed potatoes salted just right,
sweet biscuits that crumble, never crack—
iced tea with the taste of sugar, just enough to savor,
I swear I could go on forever about my idealized platter
that one day I will feast on in my confident contentment.
Dec 18, 2014
Dec 18, 2014 at 7:33 PM UTC
when he looked at a woman he searched for qualities that attracted him because he wanted to desire her yet this tendency created an imbalance or disadvantage he was rendered weak to a woman’s beauty or whatever traits he idealized self-realizing this propensity he looked away from women years of disappointment neglect changed him he became afraid of women gynophobic
when she looks at a man she searches for qualities she is critical of because she wants to be impervious to his power she is suspicious of all men their upper body strength penchant to be in control misperception of women as property misogyny emotional immaturity neediness to be mommyed selfishness insensitivity or over-sensitivity depending she wants to be treated with equal respect a loving nurturing relationship she is suspicious of all people their alternate realities passive aggressive behavior co-dependence craziness
he sees her then looks away she suspiciously notices nothing happens they go back to their separate homes alone always home alone grown calm in resignation yet disbelieving of this destiny saddened by this fate both worry about the future she looks at her face naked body in the mirror her stomach churns feels a sad sickening remembers a time when she was more carefree he puts one foot in front of the other then walks tries to remember who taught him to walk how many times did he fall who taught him to laugh where did his sense of humor go
he sees her thinks she is lovely resists the urge to turn away he smiles says hello she notices nervously smiles her shaky voice articulates louder than a whisper hi
Jul 6, 2010
Jul 6, 2010 at 9:47 AM UTC
I never thought that what I wanted wasn't you.
That the truth of this illusion
was that I was infatuated
with the idea of
being loved.
That someone could attach themselves to
one so flawed and scarred as I
with shadows cast deep
In the recesses of my mind;
What a silly dream to conjure.
Filled with electricity I floated,
Eyes clouded by the smoke of the sparks that you lit before me
And in the haze it wasn't your face that I saw
It wasn't your hand that I felt in mine as you pulled me in
To this accidental web of ours.
It was the face of an idealized daydream
the hand of a whispered wish
that I hoped had come true.
Naïve dreamer
Blind wanderer
The masquerade was ending
But I needed you
To be the one that I saw
behind the smoke.
Desperately I tried to shape you into him,
But you stood before me
An imperfect sculpture
That I was determined to fix.
But what right had I?
Truth broke the surface of my withered hope and shattered me.
Thousands of fragments of glittering glass dreams littering the floor
You were not mine to change
Not mine at all
And I was never yours.
Dec 21, 2013
Dec 21, 2013 at 1:19 PM UTC
Dear God,
Dear Alpha and Omega,
Dear Lord,
I'd like to say I'm too smart
To believe in you,
But the truth is
I'm confused enough to talk to you,
Even though I know you're deaf.
I suppose I should have learned sign language,
But how hard can it be to press my palms
Into a flesh cathedral
And whisper my silly questions
Like prayers
Inbetween my fingers,
Webbed with stained glass profiles
Of your wife and mother?
Apparently I need a rosary,
But I've never been too keen on jewelry,
Or water said to be holy,
It looks pretty **** smooth to me.
You wrote a book, at least that's what
I've been told; best seller, millions sold
But how much does the editor change around
Until your ideas are stripped to their skeletons?
Just pretending you were listening
Was enough for me,
Whose as blind as you are deaf.
Your silence doesn't cut it now,
Now that I'm old enough to tell
The difference between
Someone who can't hear and
Someone who can't listen.
I know which one you are, sir,
And I'm unimpressed -
But still I talk to you,
My words slick with shame.
Superman is more reliable than you,
And everyone seems to agree
He's the idealized fiction,
And you're our savior -
But what kind of savior treats us like
Kitty Genovese, screaming for help
Only to have her salvation listen to her die
Behind closed doors?
I hope you know what you're doing,
Because we're made in your image,
And I sure as hell don't.
I guess, out of all the questions pooling
At the tip of my tongue,
I'd ask you to answer only one:
Why do I insist on wasting my breath?
Nov 5, 2013
Nov 5, 2013 at 4:30 PM UTC
We search for love, and any time we encounter love we introduce ourselves to such power. Cause at the end of the day its power. Makes you feel some type of way type of power. We either **** for it or strive for it. Encountering love is seen as deadly, your emotions are roller coasting through the maybes, the what ifs, the why not, oh and the who cares. Well you care, if you didn’t care you wouldn’t think about it so analytical. You wouldn’t question every aspect of f love. It should be simple, many of us tend to fear this word yet progress conflicting its beautiful emotion with chaos. It shouldn’t be chaos, it should be passion, it should be pure, it should start slow, or it should become true. However it happens we search for love. Women have idealized this theory of men treating women well. But it makes you reflect on, do women treat men well. In this society, that has ruined our hearts and took over our souls. We have idealized the meaning of a relationship, the meaning of two people intrigued by one another’s mind, the meaning of a happiness that occurs in silence. The energy of love being touched by one soul to another by only a curve of a smile, the beauty of a smile. Smiles change someone’s image, I, being the observant feign, have realized that you can tell when people are faking the smile cause it leads to the vibe. Energy’s feed off each other, the type of energy you give, will eventually become the same you tend to receive. Becoming off topic is sort of my style, started it out with love thought about smiles. Cause love evaporates a smile, it flirts with your desire, it conflicts with your honor, but it can feed you everything you want to learn about its power. Love is power, we are all humans, searching for another soul that can touch our hearts and warm up our bones. Someone that can make you feel alive when you’re stuck in that hole. Someone you share your flaws with and still be content that those flaws that excite your beauty, and if you’re imperfections weren’t pure you wouldn’t be worth it. I can be that person, the only problem is, where is my person? where is that one person that makes me cling to my seat with those sweet kisses being spread across my cheek.
Apr 9, 2014
Apr 9, 2014 at 11:15 AM UTC
my loves, the many accumulated mn-
eumonic responses play'd on future
women. ideas based on the poiv-
rottes of idealized affectation past.
cesspools emptied by the horse-tanks
with stelth in the night, but the-
re couldn't be much stealth for a target
reeking of **** and convalescence.
sadness and that odor would
hang heavy in the first cold rains
of winter. transplanting thoughts,
always transplanted emotions of
subjugation. she was waiting for
someone, this now past but once
future poivrotte. feet to be
knock'd from under, body to find
lulling embrace. mind the levitat-
ing affect. mind, the missing
portion of our feint'd love.
and
- I was always empty and
both sad and happy
with a third-class train ride, at
mon poivrottes' expense of mentality.
we could used to lay together talk-
king in adult tones through our
child mouths. remembering to poc-
ket fruit to retain our breakfast
from freezing. speaking no truer
words than those utter'd while
embraced. words from the mou-
ths of us children. truer words
never could be counterfeit, never
could be spoken without loss of
conscience. Cezanne-dreams of color,
Impressionist subconscious,
j'adore mon poivrottes. feasting of mo-
vement and staining all around with
the strong cafe au lait. follow'd aper-
itif, following digestifs, following back
to lie. to flow words from our child mo-
uths, we would walk paths through the
woods in the Autumn twilight. the trees
were sculptures having their leaves
stripped bare. walking alongside, we walk'd
ourselves down the same separate path.
Feb 17, 2013
Feb 17, 2013 at 4:54 PM UTC
Your soulmate
isn't someone who comes
into your life
in a peaceful manner,
nor are they expected,
but is sure is someone
who makes you
question life-
your life.
Your soulmate
is someone who changes
your reality.
Somebody that marks a
"before and after"
in your life.
It is not the human being
that everyone has
idealized,
but an ordinary person,
who manages to revolutionize
your entire world
in mere seconds.
Oct 15, 2014
Oct 15, 2014 at 3:37 PM UTC