"howdy" poems
What kind of Animal(goes woof,woof)
When we were growing up, I bet all of us had a favorite TV show,
and one of the things these shows for younger kids had I know,
was a song of some sort that would make us laugh and smile,
It was always some silly little ditty, just think back a while,
you had the Flintstones with their Yabba dabba doo,
Captain Kangaroo and Mr Greenjeans and Mr Clock too,
now I don't know all the shows, or the songs that you sang,
just trying to make you think, make a bell go clang,
my favorite was from the Howdy Doody show,
guess that makes me really old I know,
they would sing this song about animals, for little tykes, 1st grade,
trying to identify, by the sounds that they made,
like the title of this poem What kind of animal goes, woof woof,
the kids would respond a dog of course, you goof,
and on and on through all of the chickens and ducks,
bet the smile on your face is worth a thousand bucks.
Gomer Lepoet...
Apr 7, 2010
Apr 7, 2010 at 1:06 PM UTC
There is a consumer product demon
in the trash underneath my sink.
The other day, I tossed in a wrapper
from a Quest 20-protein-gram nutrition bar
and a hand reached up to grab it.
Thinking I was daydreaming
I pulled out the white plastic Rubbermaid trash basket;
no hand, but the ¼ cup of Kraft Fast Mac
tossed in yesterday was moving, undulating.
It made a distinct voice-y sound
like “You’ll like Mac-a-lot, so eat me!”
Thinking this was just my overactive poetic imagination
I turned to the sink.
My JetZScrubber had wrapped around a spoon
dancing in circles around the In-Sink-Erator drain
while the Ajax Easy-Hands Dishwashing Liquid spewed bubbles
in unison.
Now convinced I took too much acid in college
I ran upstairs where my dog Mr. Brown sleeps
on his 44” x 36” leopard-print GoodDogBed.
“Howdy, partner,” Brown chimed.
“Sure is a fine day to go for a walk
using that Halti multi-loop leader and Sprenger prong collar.
Yes, I love ‘em.”
I took Mr. Brown to the dog park.
the one with the Safe-Steel chain link fence
and the pine trees without labels.
He pooped in the sawdust and vocalized
in his hound voice.
I could have sworn he said,
“Glad I didn’t do that on the L.L.Bean Woven Nylon Area Rug,”
but I wasn’t sure.
Nothing moved
except the wind in the trees.
and I wondered what to call it.
Apr 23, 2013
Apr 23, 2013 at 7:09 AM UTC
Can I borrow some sugar?
Said, my puppy’s gone missin!
If you need some ears,
I’m the one that’ll listen
You’re the best thing to ever hit this town
When I saw ya movin’ in,
I really did want to help ya
If you want a good ride, you
can call me Helter Skelter
You’re the best thing to ever hit this town
Now there’s no chance in Dodge
that I will ever turn city boy,
especially when I found myself a brand-new toy
Now it’s time to enjoy!
Well howdy, new neighbor
I’m so **** glad to meet ya
I’m not like your ex, who
always tried to defeat ya
You’re the best thing to ever hit this town
I will send you to heaven
by the way that I treat ya
And just like my God, it’s
every day that I’ll need ya
You’re the best thing to ever hit this town
Now there’s no chance in Dodge
that I will ever turn city boy,
especially when I found myself a brand-new toy
Now it’s time to enjoy!
So I’m washing my truck,
do you need yours cleaned?
You can be the buffer and
I’ll be the sheen
You’re the best thing to ever hit this town
So, on the weekends down here
we all like to party
We’d love you to join us;
you can be my “shorty”
You’re the best thing to ever hit this town
I said you’re the best **** thing
to ever hit this town!
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 9:22 PM UTC
When are citrus the sweetest?
It's when they receive bright light,
Coming from Mary Anne's heart,
To make their sweetness just right.
Florida's groves are waiting,
For visits from Mary Anne.
They need her heart's bright sunshine,
To shine as bright as it can.
When Mary Anne takes visits,
Her, everyone wants to meet,
Because she's kind and caring,
With a loving heart so sweet.
She likes it in Missouri.
That's where her family lives.
A kind and caring howdy,
To people she meets she gives.
Should she go to Florida,
Many things she would visit.
She surely would be noticed,
With her smiles so brightly lit.
Florida wants her visits,
So it will pay her way down.
As the Florida Orange Queen,
Some year her, one, it will crown.
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 10:57 PM UTC
I come from the green winters,
the beady drops of sweat
running like lawnmowers
down the side of a face.
The bugs, bugs, bugs
and freakish hailstorms
of the way-down-south.
I come from the trash-can lid
that I made a sled and took flight on
soaring over the inch-thick ice.
I am from howdy-land and yeehaw-city,
but the thing is,
they really weren't.
I come from a fascination with rocks,
the round ones with the white stripes
and the white ones with the round stripes.
I am from bee-stings and wasp-nests,
and the kind ointments that were
whispered into my battle wounds.
Down the side of a cliff,
running like lawmowers,
the beady drops of sweat
come from green winters.
Sep 29, 2011
Sep 29, 2011 at 7:52 PM UTC
_No orange rhyme_
Just a word rhyme,
a range you read with your eye.
_No orange rhyme_
Just a few slices with morning porridge,
I prayed before to keep homage.
_No orange rhyme_
Just me nearly close to courage,
a couple more words to speak knowledge.
The know is hanging off the ledge,
where dreams fell into being dead.
In over my head,
so over in my head, to be
back again at knowledge.
_No orange rhyme_
In amongst any line,
hard to find an orange line,
That's so sublime inside this
orange rhyme.
_There's no orange rhyme_
But just an orange blossom,
inside Orange County,
If you need a few, I brought some.
Sing how, and I'll follow with howdy.
We'll have some orange juice,
while we both wear orange shoes.
Groove on in an orange grove,
just like the cultivation of an
orange group.
**** on some orange's mint,
amongst the oranges picked.
_And talk about no orange rhyme_
Dec 20, 2021
Dec 20, 2021 at 5:00 AM UTC
I was drinking from the skull
Of a long dead bird, I had eaten
It a while back, it tasted like
Chicken!!
But not much to the bone.
I wondered if I was like
Hannah,
Henry,
Hello
Brain remember it, any way
Mind did wonder past my
Teeth, tongue it slid like
That jelly mother did make.
I gagged a moment, but then
All settled not a zombie,
But not a bad tasting brain.
"Hannibal"
"Lecture"
"Lector"
Snuck down stairs, DVD on
I remember the noise and
"Clarice"
Remember pinkie raised
When drinking from a cup
Haha...
Its the little things that make me
Smile. How you doing there friend
He doesn't talk much now, smells
Funny too, but even the dead are
Company when you only have you.
Apocalyptic
Apocalypse
Stopped
Everything, screaming, crying, chill
Its not that bad no tax, no big
Brother looking down on you.
"Ok running for your life"
"Keeps you healthy"
Plus
"Eating leftovers mouldy in a bin"
*"What doesn't **** you makes you stronger"*
"Negative"
As I regurgitate it back to the bin,
It has its pros and cons
But I miss the chatter
The one on one,
"How was your day"
"You look tasty"
"Why you looking at me that way"
Knife to the side of the head.
"BOOOM"
"O'no you didn't"
Skinny little freak trying biting moves,
This isn't PAC MANtm fool.
You meet interesting people on the road,
All I want to do is have some
"Apocalyptic Chatter"
"Howdy Mam"
That's a big knife I say!!
As I pull out old faithful,
She screams I cant take that
And runs off screaming the other way
**Run ***** Run,**
The Apocalypse isn't boring
But I do miss the day to day chatter waking each day.
Feb 22, 2015
Feb 22, 2015 at 2:29 PM UTC
*[Note: Not one of Subject B's 17,891 journal entries found
mention anything about Why Time itself had stopped.
Refer to Subject X's Archival Journal: Chapter 16
Science of an Improbability (pages 356- 387) for further research]*
___________________________________________________
February 14th, 1955
Dear Dr. Einstein,
What's up Doc? I decided it's Valentine's Day. Unequivocally! And it's a Saturday! Saturdays are my absolute relative favorite. Always have been, I think...
See, up until "yesterday" I thought it might have been almost a year since the whole time thing. I look older, that's for sure. Measured myself up on the kitchen notches and I'm just about as tall as Derrick was when he was 13-- which isn't much, we're a short family. Dad topped-off at 5' 7" and was super lucky to find my mom. She was 5' 7" as well but hated heels. Anyway, though, it could be less than a year. It gets really confusing with the sun always in the same spot, which is why I decided it's Valentine's Day. And it's Saturday! I've already cut a picture of Howdy Doody and put it on the TV.
Okay Doc, that's all. Just wanted to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day. Might move my bed up to the attic to get a better view of the everlasting day.
Sincerely,
Robbie Wilson
Jan 13, 2014
Jan 13, 2014 at 12:34 AM UTC
Beware Hooray
the Cavemen are comin
jumpin up and don knock-kneed
sweepin the hill with their new harvested beard
Howdy chicky chicken leg
What’s goozin under your sweaty shirt
lookin like ma granpa
with ur baby cream breath
or is it maybe somethin else luscious
spring of intermittent discharge
making rainbows duplicate
yep gimme two too
when u come to me
oh when u come to me
cause I am a matured
lovin n **** is my blanched bird nest
neatly crowned above my head
I shall unbind it for
adorable is your lady color short pants
I bet holographic daisies growin
along the tri-d charm
of your ******
if any yeah if any
Beware Oh the cavemen
Run flat out nou
cause I shall feed you
to my auntie’s aging dreams
with the buncha hair on ur face
u look lika somethin
resembling
a man before her famine
Beware Oh the cavemen
Auntie is comin
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 7:04 PM UTC
I'm employed
But not enjoyed
They're annoyed
Until I'm destroyed
Then they fill that void
With another humanoid
I'm a hollow coil
From lots of toil
Like hot oil
I'm not royal
I just boil
Underneath the soil
I say howdy
Loudly
To the rowdy
That doubt me
And out me
As mouthy
This mistake
Fish tank
I drank
Stank
So rank
My mind went blank
I cannot fight it
My mind on autopilot
The roof I tile it
To style it
Violet
While lit
I am a changeling
That is aging
From waging
A war raging
Against those caging
The rat who's racing
The pain is inner
As a fidget spinner
A ****** sinner
Ate for dinner
For he's the winner
Of the money printer
And my mind of cinder
They broke me
No joking
Just poking
The nope king
While hoping
Society starts sloping
Towards communal coping
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018 at 2:34 AM UTC
Another world
Inside of my head
I roam freely here.
Alice In Wonderland.
I ate the cakes.. I got bigger
I stomped the queen
I pulled The trigger
A mad hatter
To watch the Flower’s tears
splatter.
With a smile and a “Howdy Do”
I looked back to the thrill
In wonderland
World War three
I enjoyed each ****
My true spirit smacked my face
to put this demon in it’s place
I cleaned up the ****** shower
Handed each thought’s grave
a flower
I ran to the white queen
She was glad
This Alice had decided to leave
Her twisted and lost wonderland.
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 4:55 PM UTC
I was sitting at my computer
All intelligent and nonchalant
When a personality profile test popped up
In the most interesting of fonts
I decided this might be fun
So I clicked onto the site
And right away started answering questions
On what I did and didn't like
As soon as the test was over
With my feet planted firmly on the floor
I hit the button enter
There was immediately a knock upon the door
What appeared to be three business men
All in matching suits and ties
With darkened sunglasses all around
Like Hollywood Movie Stars in disguise
Before I knew what was happening
They threw a hood over my head
And carted me off without the slightest word
Not a single Howdy-Do was said
My new found friends threw me into the trunk
Of a waiting limousine
Where just as quickly as they arrived
We all left the scene
We came to a run down abandoned Army base
In the middle of the desert
I had the feeling that what it was that was to come
Most certainly wouldn't be pleasant
They set me in the middle of a room
As men circled all around
I knew this had to do with the test
And wondered at what it was they found
When in walked "The Bossarooni"
And said don't worry son we're not here to mistreat cha
We're just curious as to why
You like anchovies instead of pepperoni on your pizza
May 11, 2013
May 11, 2013 at 7:26 AM UTC
The jellybean kid
When jelly beans was the things
All those years ago
I was Patrick Dunbar
Who was no chest oh no
You see he was the jelly bean kid
And he ate a lot of them
Yeah taste yeah taste
Yeah jelly beans are so sweet
The jelly bean kid the jelly bean kid
Patrick Dunbar is the jelly bean kid
His colours are red and white and blue yeah he is the jelly bean kid
You see he would attend the 4th of July parade and mate he was really
Popular there and Halloween, he played a disgruntled hansel year
He wishes he could get away
And at thanksgiving he brought his outfit to the front oh yeah and then
At Christmas he led Santa's sleigh
Out to go ** ** **
All dressed up as
The jelly bean kid the jelly bean kid
Patrick Dunbar is the jelly bean kid
He will party like there is no tomorrow
Yeah he's the jelly bean kid
You see Patrick was walking down
Waving to the crowd saying howdy folks
And when he past the drinking crowd he will tip his hat oh yeah
Then will do a little dance and say
How cool he is
You see Patrick Dunbar is the jelly bean kid and said I am way cooler than him, who is the giant frog that is
And he sang
The jelly bean kid oh the jelly bean kid
Patrick Dunbar is the jelly bean kid
Walking on the street in the parade
Saying hello to the drinking folk
And doing a dance for the entertained mob yeah he is oh he is
He is the jelly bean kid oh yeah
Sent from my iPhone
Jul 29, 2015
Jul 29, 2015 at 3:30 AM UTC
They say the Jones' next door have the car to die for
They say it has an electric heater an'all
They say it's low on fuel consumption
That must be true
'cos I heard it go up the hill and stall
...but I ask you...
Who the hell is 'they' anyway!
They say the events of Roswell are true
They say the little green men did come say howdy
They say the evidence is strewn all over
That must be right
'cos just mention it in the South an' everyone gets rowdy!
...but I say again...
Who the hell is 'they' anyway!
They say Kennedy was shot while moseying along the motorcade
They said something about a Lee an' a Harvey an' a rifle
They say there was someone else on a grass of Knoll?
I know that must be true
'cos I was standing next to him eating my trifle!
...but c'mon....
Who the hell is 'they' anyway!
They say the end of the world is nigh
They say it's time to pack some supplies, baked beans 'n rice
They say the next quake will be the One
That must be right
'cos I read somewhere the Lord throws a loaded dice!
'Tis true...but I gotta ask...
Who the hell is 'they' anyway!
They say a man should love a woman like he does his own soul
They say this is the sacred secret to happiness, romance and bliss
They say he should worship her like a queen
That must be the case
'cos the last time I looked, all I had was my Bloodhound to kiss!
This time I have to concede to 'em
As hard and humbling it may be
In this case siding with they an' them an' theirs
Is all one needs for long life, peace and freedom
...but who the hell am I anyway!
Sep 26, 2012
Sep 26, 2012 at 6:21 AM UTC
There are so many ways
to say goodbye
‘Hellos’ are but a few
there’s ‘adieu’ and ‘farewell’
just to mention one or two
*‘Catch you later
…alligator’*
there are much, and many more
of ‘Bye byes’
than of ‘Hi’s’
than a simple ‘Bonjour’
‘See ya’ or ‘See you’
easier said than to cleave
so, ‘So long’
won’t feel wrong
so many ways to see you leave
maybe, it’s because we depart
more often than we come
maybe, “hello” holds no meaning
after it’s said and when it’s done
goodbye could be good but hurtful
for no sorrow in hello you feel
but parting can be painful
so we say ‘Keep it real’
‘ta ta’, ‘toodeloo’
’sorry it’s me…not you’
among the funny things we say
like ‘howdy’, ‘how you?’
‘cock-a-doodle-doo’
by early morning on your way
so it’s hasta la vista
see you soon, or cya later
I’d better be along.
take it easy
easy peasy
peace out and stay strong.
Jan 17, 2022
Jan 17, 2022 at 10:44 PM UTC
"Howdy, mam! My name's Rusty. You can trust me."
"How do? I'm Sally. This haint my ole corral."
"With due respect, you're fresh, this place is *****
"You slick cowboys know what to say to a gal."
"Our eyes locked like a couple of rattlesnakes."
"Mister, yer makin' a terrible mistake.
I do feel somethin' fer ya, but I'm caught here."
"Well, I'll just have ta uncetch ya, Sal ma dear."
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 5:54 PM UTC
Sitting down by the pond the other evening,
Taking in the sunset and listening to how nature puts her children to bed,
I happened to notice my amphibian friends.
Now, I love sounds, loud ones, soft ones, booming, and whispers.
Got a right fetish for listening to nature.
As I sat there entranced, my ears started picking out different frog calls.
You know, them boy frogs trying to sound all handsome and friendly to get a wink from their girlfriends.
And not just the frogs either, ya know, there's some toads out there too.
I was hearing big ole Bullfrogs, boomin' louder than a drum in a parade.
Tiny spring peepers, with their loud high pitched sharp peeps.
There was Fowler's Toads out there too, sounding like ole Henry stuck a knife in his wife's chest, and she screamed for her life.
Them there grey tree frogs, well they are somethin'.
Chatterin' like a monkey missin' his bananas.
And don't get me started on those green frogs, boy howdy, they can twang with the best of em.
Right funny if you don't mind me saying.
But, that trilling those American toads do, out shining those short trillin' Western Chorus frogs evra time, is somethin' else.
Why they can hold a note pert near a full three minutes.
Never can tell how rich wild life is around ya til ya sit a spell and take a listen.
You may not see 'em out there, but shore nuf, life's a going on.
Oct 1, 2010
Oct 1, 2010 at 3:58 PM UTC
god is here
god is there
in the dew drops
in the air
in the blue jay
in the grass
in the possum
in the bass
in the eagle
in the cuckoo
in the mirror...
howdy do
Copyright Louis Brown
Aug 9, 2011
Aug 9, 2011 at 7:09 PM UTC
Intro: C G7 C G7 E7 D7 G7
C G7
Shine away your bluesies,
C G7
Why don't you shine, start with your shoesies;
E7 Am7 C7
Shine each place up, make it look like new,
D7 G7
Shine your face up, I want to see you wear a smile or two.
C G7
Cause my skin's light creamy,
C G7
Just because my eyes are greeny;
E7 Am7 C7
Just because I lack some shade of brown,
D7 F7
Don't stop me from funking down when I funk uptown... Funk!
C G7
Cause I dig rap music,
E7 Am7 C7
With jazz and blues I boogie all the time;
F Cdim
Just because I jive to Reggae,
C A7 D7 G7
That's the reason, Baby, why they call me...
C G7
***** watches ice hockey,
C G7
****** he likes to copy.
E7 Am7 C7
I'm Caucasian, the abbreviation won't do,
D7 G7
Drop the name tags, see me the way you want me seeing you.
C G7
Why don't you shine, your these and thoseies,
E7 Am7 C7
You'll find everything's gonna turn out fine;
F Cdim. C
Folks will shine up to ya, everybody's
A7
gonna howdy-doody do ya;
D7 G7 C
You'll make the whole world shine.
C G7
So, clap your hands, shout Hallelujah,
E7 Am7 C7
You'll find everyone's much the same inside;
F Cdim
You know we all share blame,
C A7
Don't “Howdy-doody Whitey” cause that ain't my name,
D7 G7 C
And we'll turn the world colour blind.
Mar 3, 2017
Mar 3, 2017 at 4:49 PM UTC
to my good mate steve grigor
i know all i know is that he rode a big scooter and he was a writer
but he was a great writer, so much in facr he taught people how to write
you see steve wasn’t in the mood for staying in his body
he wanted to leave that body and enter in to another body
he was a nice man who enjoyed bowling and writing
and he used to drive his scooter all around the town
you see he taught me how to write and he taught me how to live life to the full
he probably enjoyed a beer or a coke
you see i liked saying hello to him when i saw him
and he said hi brian hows it going
i know steve grigor wasn’t this perfect little angel
but he was a man who taught us through his writing to have a joke about life
now i will give you a little jingle about his passing
it’s a shame it’s a shame it’s a shame
we lost a fine man in steve
it’s a shame it’s a shame it’s a shame
the man who teaches has passed away
i will miss him driving his scooter around this city
who knows he will probably go off to his next life with a lot of of creativity to give
this man was nice, you see he was very nice, but he had a load of body problems
and that is what killed him in the end, i will miss his howdy doody face
goodbye steve grigor
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 10, 2016 at 6:05 AM UTC
Black coffee
2 eggs looking at you
buttered Wonder bread
morning paper
horn rimmed glasses.
neatly pressed short sleeve summer shirt, with a Fruit of the Loom tank.
work trousers and oil resistant black shoes
Old Spice, and Brylcream
Howdy Doody in the background
the screen door slams
a white Ford Farlane 500 starts up and pulls away
awaiting the sound of the Ford
wash up for dinner
pork chops, sauerkraut
applesauce
green beans
evening paper
maybe the Flintstones or Dragnet, but always the Friday Night Fights
late night visits to the fridge for a sip of Malox.
My Father does not believe there is a heaven, or hell
he says when you die, you just die.
But I don't believe he ever knowingly lied to me.
He voted for George Wallace, but he also Voted for Barack Obama, twice.
He served in the Army during World War II, and still cooks hash brown potatoes every Tuesday night for his local American Legion, where he also plays poker and most of the time wins. When I asked him how to win at poker, he'd smile and say... "Luck." When I asked him how do I get some Luck, he said "count your cards."
He doesn't want a funeral, no music, no wake, no one to say anything about him. He wants to donate his body to science. And cremate the rest.
He says, "shut up and let people tell you who they are."
"Everybody is OK son , most don't know it though."
"Never count your money in public."
He has a small tin on the kitchen counter full of twist ties, hundreds of them.
There are shelves in the basement full of canned food and paper goods.
Depressionites are always ready for the next one.
When my Father and Mother go to their class reunion, they are the only ones left in their class.
I asked him what was the hardest thing about being 95, and both of them said, "all of our friends are gone, all of them."
My Father is 95 this year.
Happy Father's Day Dad
Thank you for letting me ramble here, I feel so much better. I am ready to have my eggs and coffee now."
Jun 15, 2014
Jun 15, 2014 at 9:53 AM UTC
I'm a rough rider with a Henry rifle.
You're forced to sling ***** in a smoke filled saloon.
I'm just a cowpoke kickin' dust with cattle.
Whiskey's needed and gamblin' and a fun tune.
Gallop my pinto to Silverado's Star.
Saw the perdiest little thang at he bar.
Order the good stuff, say, "Howdy," take a belt.
I reckon I falled in love, they way I felt!
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 5:04 PM UTC
If y'all were to go to Heaven
Y'all would be sent down to The South
In a little town called Texas
Where the tea is sweeter
Where chivalry still exists
Where we all drive muddy pickups
And dance in the rain in our cowboy boots
Where we all say howdy
And say ain't like it's not meant for over yonder
There isn't a single stranger in Texas
We all know each other
We are a tight knit town always waiting to give a lending hand
If we were to secede
The other states would miss us
There would be a big gaping hole on the map
The heart and the fist of The United States of America
We are Texans
You mess with one
You get the whole can of whoopass
We could be your worst nightmare
Or your best dream
Just don't talk smack from where I'm from
We will get on you with our whips and shotguns
We are Texans
We don't settle
And we don't keep calm
We are God- Fearin', Constituional- lovin', Gun- Bearin' Republicans.
Jun 4, 2015
Jun 4, 2015 at 12:09 AM UTC