“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”
― Mother Teresa

May mga panahon sa buhay ko na nasayang, may mga darating pa siguro pero baka hindi ko na maabutan, tanging ang ngayon ang tangan ko sa aking palad. Sisiguraduhin ko na hindi ito masasayang. Gagamitin ko at pagyayamanin ang ngayon ko sapagkat ito lang ang oras na hawak ko. Magsusulat ako ng mga salitang matulain kahit hindi nila ito tanggapin. Kahit ako lang ang tunay na aangkin sa aking simulain. Kahit malalim ang dagat na aking lulusungin kapos man ang bait ito’y aking gagamitin at titimbulanin.

Walang yumayaman sa pagsusulat ng tula at ang buhay ng isang makata sa panukat ng lipunan ay laging salat. Pero wala na akong magagawa napasubo na ako, matagal ko na itong nilimot at tinalikuran subalit para itong isang sumpang anino na laging nakasunod ayaw akong tantanan. Mabuti pa ang nag-uulat sa radyo at telebisyon dahil may nakikinig pero sa sumusulat ng tula bihira lang ang lumilingap. Putang-Ina bakit ba kasi ito pa ang nakahiligan ko?

Siguro dahil dito ako sumasaya, kasi nagagawa kong bigyang tinig ang tahimik kong isipan. Bakit kasi hindi na lang ako naging payak sa lahat ng bagay lalo na sa gawaing pag-iisip? Bakit kasi masyado akong mapagmasid, mausisa at malikhain sa pagsasalarawan ng mga bagay-bagay? Bakit ayaw magpahinga ng aking diwa?

Hindi naman ako magaling sa tugmaan at sa pagkatha ng mga kinakailangang sukat kaya kinalimutan ko na ito. Pero may ulol na bumulong sa akin “ok lang yan may free verse naman e kung hindi mo kaya ipahayag sa tugmaan gamitin mo ang malayang taludturan”. Kaya ito nanaginip na naman ako ng gising at tinatawag ang sarili ko na isang “makabagong makata”. Putang Ina makatang walang pera at laging nangungutang. Buti man lang sana kung makukuha ko kahit ang kalahati ng tagumpay nina Walt Whitman, Amado V. Hernandez, Jose Corazon De Jesus at Francisco Balagtas o kahit na si Emilio Mar Antonio na lang – e tiyak na hindi naman.    

Kanina pa tumatakatak ang tiklado ng aking computer, ayaw ko nang magsulat pero may demonyo na tumutulak sa akin para gawin ito. Ayaw akong patahimikan ng putang-ina. Kaya’t heto ako at nagpupursige parin. Ang makabagong makata ay hindi na muling tatalikod sa tawag ng tulaan. Kahit walang pera magpapatuloy ako kasi dito ako masaya, masaya pero malungkot din. Ewan, madalas hindi ko maintindihan. Hindi ko na muling sasayangin ang natitirang oras ko.

Help me understand what I mean to you...
Help me clarify that I am something, cause im tired too..
Tired of the games and blues, filled with exhaustion from my heart buying in to your lies soo much its costin me,happiness...
I wanna know for sure!'show me an exact image! of reason, why be with him, if I known you longer than you been breathin?
All this teasin is misleading, do you want me? tell me! dont leave me hangin..
Im madden and sadden by the though he has your lips, what happens to me  if it last long, and  I just come around like a bad caugh.
I've lost...
What we had is old news, but i guess time shared holds no meaning in helping you choose.
Don't come to me if your confused, i refuse to help you and your trouble, for now on do you...
Cause i been doin me, never had a problem I couldn't solved em easily with alil alcohol and **** cause you cared less about me and more about him..
I was a friend the best there was, the best there is, the best there ever will be, one you'll probably will not miss.
Or even noticed, if I disappeared, Im just a ghost, a shadowed memory,  still wanna be wanted but its hopeless...truly hopeless, why I wrote this? It won't change a **** thing about her, why Am  I still hopin? Why I care? Why I dare to even mention your name know you wont come to my aid, your never there...
Always with another or him, not knowing who you want, i was wish i was in your option, I can do much more, but never gained a chance to prove, and you wonder why I feel summertime  blues....
Im the best, One you'll never loose..
Ima alot of things but theres a side I never get to show, a side you will love, but you always say no, not givin me a chance as if I was bronze not worth your Gold,
but listen baby im silver, way out there but a good catch, ima outfielder,
something you can be near uhh never shed a tear soo why you always out me?
Always doubt me, never wanna like me, knowing im the right piece,
always misplace me baby, i can clean up mess like a wipee, 
whipe your tears on my white T,
i wanna be your  lycan whose fightin for what he likes see? but I feel there's no time for me...so again  why am I writing????
I am just helpless, a romantic put on the shelf like an old novel,
these say stomach the pain, but I put these dead butterflies in a bottle...
alone in my household, holding close what I call ghost hopes...Dead long ago, now it just cold like the snow, could build a snow man, But I just say no,
Why bother like Stone Sour...it will never happen, I blacken with thoughts, cryin in shower.
Stressin myself because my heart feels like its in a cyclical orbit,
of doubt and hopes, a limbo that continues to lower my esteem
and stings with pain like hornets..

BY: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
5/23/14
(might add and edit later depending if i doesnt flow the way i want or needs more insight to get across what im feeling)


comment what you think!!!!!

Fashion show finales follow a familiar rhythm: after the models march along the catwalk for a last hurrah, the designer comes out to take a bow. Their demeanour is often telling, an indicator of their attitude to the collection they've shown – are they a bag of nerves, or grinning from ear to ear?

Also noteworthy is the look they choose to take their bow in. Are they even wearing their own work? One of the most celebrated designers of our time never wears his own designs. Karl Lagerfeld may create the occasional menswear look at Chanel and he designs a whole men's collection for his eponymous label but he has long been a customer elsewhere: Dior Homme.

Lagerfeld started wearing Dior Homme when he was in his late 60s, shedding 41 kilograms to fit into the skinny styles of the label's then designer, Hedi Slimane. Lagerfeld has stayed loyal to the brand ever since, even after Slimane, now creative director of Saint Laurent, quit in 2006. And although the label is known for its emphasis on youth, Lagerfeld, now in his 80s, remains one of Dior Homme's most visible clients.

Raf Simons, meanwhile, Dior's creative director of womenswear, is partial to Prada: his presence in the documentary film Dior & I (2014) is most clearly announced via his distinctive studded Prada sneakers and he often takes his catwalk bow in a head-to-toe Prada look. For his first Christian Dior ready-to-wear show he wore a vintage denim jacket with red stripes by Austrian designer Helmut Lang.

And yet many designers do wear their own work, especially if the brand carries their surname. Editors scan the wardrobe of Miuccia Prada for clues to her latest collection: is she feeling utilitarian, elegant or purposefully off-kilter? When Donatella Versace takes her bow, she often wears a look from the collection she's just shown – for autumn/winter 2015, it was a pinstriped, flared pantsuit. And even Simons has worn pieces from his own label collaboration with Sterling Ruby.

So if the name is on the label, does it mean the clothes will always be on the designer's back? Not necessarily. "I've never been into wearing clothing with my own brand name inside," says Jonathan Anderson, designer behind JW Anderson and now creative director of Loewe. "I find it odd and arrogant."

UNIFORM DRESSING

Anderson's own wardrobe is a familiar uniform: crewneck sweater, faded blue jeans, Nike sneakers. It's entirely opposite to the menswear looks he creates for his own label's catwalk presentations, which have included bandeau tops and frilled shorts. He seems to favour a clean-palette approach: keeping himself neutral so as to not deflect from his experimentation elsewhere.

This kind of wardrobe is common among fashion designers. Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez of Proenza Schouler appear to have no desire to create menswear for themselves or others, dressing instead in a similar style to Anderson: crewnecks, polo shirts or button-downs, usually with jeans and sneakers.

Mary Katrantzou, meanwhile, recent winner of the 2015 BFC/Vogue Designer Fashion Fund, may have built her business on print and embellishment but she is usually found in a black knit dress by Azzedine Alaïa. Alaïa himself has perhaps the ultimate clean-palette wardrobe: for decades he has worn black cotton Chinese pyjamas, fastened by simple floral buttoning.

Each of these designers has a successful business with its own clear signature. So maybe it doesn't matter if they don't wear their own clothes. And yet when designers do, it can be so seductive. Men buy Tom Ford because they want to be like Tom Ford. Women buy Céline because they want to look like Phoebe Philo. Stefano Pilati, creative director of Ermenegildo Zegna Couture, is often said to be his own best model; Rick Owens, in his long draped vests and baggy shorts, is the perfect ambassador for his own alternate universe of otherness.

The style of Roksanda Ilincic is synonymous with her own brand. "I create pieces that embrace the female form," she says of her bold colour palette and silhouette. "Being a woman means I'm able to feel and test those things on a personal level … I tend to favour long hemlines and nipped-in waists, with interesting shades and textures, pared down with simple basics and outerwear." Does she ever wear anyone else? "Of course! Black polo necks from Wolford are an absolute staple and in winter I am rarely without my favourite black cashmere coat by Prada, which is on permanent loan from my husband."

It seems like an industry divided between designers who wear their own work and those who don't. But sometimes things change. Backstage at Loewe earlier this season, Anderson said: "With Loewe, I have a detachment. I wear a lot of it. Now I'm more, 'Does this work?' I've got a bit of a love back for fashion."

Two months on, his interest in wearing his own designs has grown still further. He is the cover star of the new issue of menswear biannual magazine Fantastic Man, posing in a slash-fronted sweater and leather tie trousers. The pieces are both his work from current season Loewe. Womenswear. In for a penny, in for a pound.Read more here:www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses-2015 | www.marieaustralia.com/long-formal-dresses

i took your **** and ran with it,
went miles into distance while you constantly clinged to the past
girl I'm tired of it.
How am I suppose to get in if he still has the original and I was givin the spare key,
I'm me and no where near him reason why you always keep runnin back lookin for a safe haven, but in reality sorry that ******* I ain't takin ,
must be mistaken,
I'm havin you second all the time I made you first,
like an unwelcomed tenet,
or low rank  lieutenant,
I'm undermined, while hes underlined,
made into a bold figure,
but I stack real figures,
and don't make you feel bitter like this *****.
Just don't  mention why you quiver , I know the reason why you internally bleedin , stress in ya eyes   swollen from the cries in the night, it ain't right.
but yet you fall back to him , then call me later? I gave you my words, last time was the last. So to bad if it didn't last, and both ends of the ties leave  you to grieve and gravel on the gravel , yeah sit there and babble , yeah I ponder the river creeks for years
now im off the love boat, I skidattled , faught the more fishes in the sea with broken paddle promise not to commit unless it was suicide or a contract with a person I don't trust after marriage and can't truly settle with.
so the others who wanted me are shunned, and you ?  Is of no concern to my conscience , my once brown poccahauntus who haunted
my nights , and Asian moon cake who left with the wrong shake   wen I coulda move mountain cause I was the real earthquake to shake the floor beneath you and let you see the plummit to a deeper meaning. Thank for leavin.
Asmathic or not,
I remain breathing.

by Emmanuel Hernandez
aka
Linguist Musician  aka Deep thought

I don’t freestyle. 
I write my things down. 
Though I wish that I could spit when I talk **** and pitch in metaphors so quick they zip right past you with a swing and a miss. 

That’s why I pick up my pen and pad, or my phone if it has a charge, 
Go to the memos app and find a knife that is sharp. 
Crack open my rib cage and pull out my beating heart. 
Squeeze that ***** dry till it bleeds the right part. 

But this prune has no juice now.
This prune has no use now.
Its beats have no sync it looks gray, old, and used out.
It burned out its pacer, and its fuse just fused out,

It’s excuses? 
That I used it when I couldn’t use it.
I abused and confused it.
It gave me all that I wanted but its plasma was useless.

So much material came night after night.
Every time it gave more. I just brushed it aside.
My table was covered with all my insides,
But none of it perfect. None of it right.

I squeezed and I squeezed till my fingers went numb.
The nail on my index was cutting into my thumb.
Desperate for a punch line to make the crowds go dumb.
Screaming and owing these ******* gonna come.

Too caught up on what they wanted I let my heart dry.
Too caught up living their life I let my heart die.
It turned out that turned up turned into a lie.
I turned into some one torn from their real life.

Now I’m resting my heart for a while. 
It’s in the hands of a misses that cares for it now.
That’s why I don’t freestyle.
I write my **** down.

-J.Cruz Hernandez

Hindi ako kumakain ng tae o umiinom ng ihi,
Lalo namang hindi ako humahalik sa tumbong.
Lumaki ako’ng mahirap at naranasan ko’ng maapi,
Pero kahit kelan hindi sumuko ang diwa ko,
Laging nakikipaglaban ang puso’t isipan ko.
Nakabilanggo ako sa sistema na kinasusuklaman ko,
Oo bilanggo ang katawan ko ng pangangailangan para
Mabuhay pero mulat ang isipan ko. Ang hampas-lupa
Ko lang na katawan ang nakabilanggo subalit ang puso at
Isip ko kailanman hindi mapipiit.

Nakikinig ako pero hindi ibig sabihin na naniniwala ako,
Nagbabasa ako pero hindi nangangahulogan na tinatanggap ko ito.
Ang malayang isipan ang pinaka-mataas na antas ng pakikipaglaban,
Kailanman hindi ito masusupil, apoy ito ng kaluluwang hindi kailanman
Mapapatay; mananatili itong nagliliyab.

Hindi ako sumisigaw sa kalsada o nag-aarmas habang
Nakakanlong sa mga gubat pero patuloy ako’ng tumututol.
Ginagamit ko ang aking panulat sa paglaban. Rebelde ako’ng
Lagalag na hindi matatahimik. Maangas ang aking panulat at
Nagliliyab ang aking mga letra.  

Rebelde, aktibista, radikal, militante, sosyalista, komunista,
Ateista, anarkista – oo lahat ng yan ay ako. All in one ika nga,
Kung saan ang dehado dun ako pumapanig ayaw ko sa mga liyamado
Sapagkat karamihan sa kanila ay tarantado. Pro-labor, pro-masa
Pro-poor siguro nga ganyan ako. Kaya marahil pro-Bonifacio ako at
Hindi pro-Rizal. Kaya siguro idolo ko si Nelson Mandela, Gandhi,
Malcolm X, Amado V. Hernandez at iba pang radikal
kasi tulad nila meron akong Malayang Isipan.

Why did you leave me here?
In a wool coat with
Wheat straws still in my hair
To fight,
To be captured,
To be captured, and
To contract the fate
Of most
Who find themselves
In the same
imprisoned war
But for you it was
Far too soon for
Both mine and
Your liking.  
And it was far too
Inglorious to die
With your heart in
An angry fist.

o darling oh wohw ohhh dar-ling oh wohw wohw wohw dahrrr-leeeing some gunman walked into the mall

who shot Gabby Giffords? why what’s the reason for I said Sarah Palin with my cross-hair target I shot Gabby Giffords who saw her fall? I said gun laws people with my little eye I saw her fall who caught her blood? I said Daniel Hernandez who placed pressure to her wound with my finger caught her blood who shot Gabby Giffords? why what’s the reason for who'll make the shroud? I said Cochise County ranchers pressuring for tougher Mexican border laws I'll make the shroud with my thread and needle who'll interpret what she stood for? I said Tea Party constituents with my pick and shovel I’ll dig her grave who shot Gabby Giffords? why what’s the reason for who'll be the minister? I said Washington lobbyists with my little book I’ll be the minister who'll be the clerk? I said the media if it's not in the dark I'll be the clerk who'll carry the link I said Twitter I'll fetch it in a minute I'll carry the link who shot Gabby Giffords? why what’s the reason for who'll be chief mourner? I said American people I mourn for my love I’ll be chief mourner who shot Gabby Giffords? why what’s the reason for who'll carry the consequence? I said destitute lost their homes to Wall Street banks if it's not through the night I'll carry the moment who'll bear the sadness? We said the world both man and woman We'll bear sadness who shot Gabby Giffords? why what’s the reason for who'll sing a psalm? I said the poet as she sat on a bush I'll sing a psalm who'll toll the bell? I said factory worker because I can pull I'll toll the bell for all people of the land fell a-sighing a-sobbing when they heard the bell toll for poor Gabby Giffords. who shot Gabby Giffords? why what’s the reason for some gunman walked into the mall 9 mm Glock in his hand shot a bullet through her head 13 wounded 6 dead including little 9 year old girl Christina-Taylor Green who shot Gabby Giffords? why what’s the reason for

marching bands make me cry i don’t know why they’re so dazzling beautiful fun playing their instruments marching in uniformed unison they melt my heart eyes wet with sadness joy who shot Gabby Giffords? some gunman walked into the mall

The sky last night was searching for the Moon,
Alone the sky roamed to the edge of the morning gloom,
The sky stayed in its place wondering where the Moon went,
But the Moon betrayed and played with Earth’s warm chest,

The Earth beckoned softly for the Moon to come down,
His words were lofty and soothed the Moons crown,
The Moon crept by the sky, smiled and said her goodbyes,
As the Earth waited patiently for both worlds to collide,

The Moon and the Earth hid deep below the crest,
The Earth kissed the Moons neck, the Moons chills broke a sweat,
The more the Earth took the more the Moon gave,
The more more that was stolen the more they both raged,

They both laid in the meadows of The Land of the Lost,
They both played together, they both vigorously tossed,
The Moon felt the Earths waves crash against her surface,
The Moon cried into the night and begged Earth for more tidal surges,

Both bodies entwined, Both worlds did collide,
The Moon caused Earth’s tsunamis, The Earth caused Moon to cry,
The Moon was exhausted, The Earth still stood strong,
But the sky sent wind for the moon, for she was gone for too long,

The Earth took the Moon,
Where she wished to go most,
The Earth takes the Moon,
When the Sky’s eyes are like Ghosts,

Empty

-J.Cruz Hernandez

They were so poor,
their children played on dusty roads;
Mother Mary
cleaned her face with her own tears,
the hand
that once touched her became a clinched fist

Ana didn’t want to bring another child into this world,
but a family
was the only way they knew how to live;
they didn't own anything
except the flowers in the window

They need
to learn more about their people;
The only way
she could feed her baby was her body;
She felt safe
until her son needed real food

She prayed
for her body to keep fighting;
fighting for her children
her ******* remained full;
He knew she was kind
but she didn’t feel that way

The dust covered her heart
and the shoes she wore;
so he bought her a dress
even to wear in the hot desert sun
It was red
and fit her like sin
between two people in love

When she wore it
the other women watched quietly
She wore it for a week;
every day without washing
He watched her quietly
knowing she was strong
Then she took the dress off
and kissed Mary’s hand

She gave the dress to her best friend,
Juanita Hernandez;
Juanita washed the dress
while Ana fed her child;
the dress would be shared
because they shared the dust in the air

Their husbands couldn't wait
for their wife’s turn with the dress;
a red dress was for love
and not sin in the desert sun

They were so poor
the dust covered their memories;
but the dress was bright
and they wore it with dignity

A poor woman
is as beautiful as a rich woman
even if her stomach is empty
and her heart has become hard

She saw the other men
look at her when it was her turn;
she knew they wanted her
even though she was so sad,
the dress made them see;
They knew how she could love them,
but instead
she gave it back to Juanita Hernandez

Then she gave thanks to Mary again;
For her children still loved her
and her husband remembered why
he gave her the dress

I am scared!
Scared of this world

Robert Godwin Sr
Alyssa Elsman

How many more have to die?
By my kind,
By their kind,
Because they blame some other kind
What ever happened to just being
kind?

Daniel Parmertor, Russell King, Jr., Demetrius Hewlin

Where were you when the World Trade Center went down?
It’s something everyone alive then will always remember
Never Forget! was our brand motto for American Pride

Krystle Marie Campbell, Lü Lingzi, Martin William Richard, Sean A. Collier, Dennis Simmonds

And now, the death of another is so commonplace
That we forget what and where.
It’s no longer personal enough to register where in our lives that it struck us
Only note that another life has been struck down
Add another tally to the equation
And still it does not add up

Trayvon Martin
Tamir Rice
Samuel DuBose
Delrawn Small
Philando Castile
Terence Crutcher
Heather Heyer

We are completely desensitized
And decentralized
We keep ourselves disconnected
(because we just can’t absorb,
Take,
Process it all)
It’s not us
It’s not me
It’s somebody else
Somewhere else.
Until it is
Then we care
How much can we take, before we break

Cynthia Marie Graham Hurd, Susie Jackson, Ethel Lee Lance, Depayne Middleton Doctor, Clementa C. Pinckney, Tywanza Sanders, Daniel Simmons, Sharonda Coleman Singleton, Myra Thompson

The tragedy is the comedy
We laugh so we don’t cry
Sakia Gunn
Richie Phillips
Nireah Johnson, Brandie Coleman
Glenn Kopitske
Scotty Joe Weaver
Jason Gage
Michael Sandy
Sean William Kennedy
Duanna Johnson
Lawrence "Larry" King
Angie Zapata
Lateisha Green
****** August Provost, III
Mark Carson

I can’t say I’ve never thought of committing violence.
Hell, when my ex-wife cheated, it occurred to me
And I can’t say that I have never hit another
I’ve been a kid
My whole life is designed just to grow up
But, I’ve thought of killing myself far more often than the thought to harm anyone else have ever occurred to me
Because my problems are mine;
My fault,
And I am not seeking some scapegoat

Keenya Cook, Jerry Taylor, Million A. Woldemariam, Claudine Parker, Hong Im Ballenge, James Martin, James L. Buchanan, Premkumar Walekar, Sarah Ramos, Lori Ann Lewis-Rivera, Pascal Charlot, Dean Harold Meyers, Kenneth Bridges, Linda Franklin née Moore, Jeffrey Hopper, Conrad Johnson, 1 unnamed victim

I am not going to deny that being a white male hasn’t allowed me to sidestep a whole level of *******
One day, angry white males will be the minority
And we’ll have no one left to blame, but ourselves.
If we don’t **** everyone first
If we don’t **** ourselves first

Michael Arnold, Martin Bodrog, Arthur Daniels, Sylvia Frasier, Kathy Gaarde, John Roger Johnson, Mary Francis Knight, Frank Kohler, Vishnu Pandit, Kenneth Bernard Proctor, Gerald Read, Richard Michael Ridgell

Jonathan Blunk, Alexander J. Boik , Jesse Childress, Gordon Cowden,
Jessica Ghawi, John Larimer, Matt McQuinn, Micayla Medek, Veronica Moser Sullivan, Alex Sullivan, Alexander C. Teves, Rebecca Wingo

The earth has already decided that we are a plague upon it
Maybe climate change is the natural response to the abuse of our gifts

Nancy Lanza, Rachel D'Avino, Dawn Hochsprung, Anne Marie Murphy,
Lauren Rousseau, Mary Sherlach, Victoria Leigh Soto, Charlotte Bacon, Daniel Barden, Olivia Engel, Josephine Gay, Dylan Hockley, Madeleine Hsu, Catherine Hubbard, Chase Kowalski, Jesse Lewis, Ana Márquez Greene, James Mattioli, Grace McDonnell, Emilie Parker, Jack Pinto, Noah Pozner, Caroline Previdi, Jessica Rekos, Avielle Richman, Benjamin Wheeler, Allison Wyatt

What is this world going to teach my son?
That he’s better because of how he looks?
Or what I’ve taught him:
You make yourself better.

Jamie Bishop, Jocelyne Couture Nowak, Kevin Granata, Liviu Librescu,  P
G. V. Loganathan, Ross Alameddine, Brian Bluhm, Ryan Clark, Austin Cloyd, Daniel Perez Cueva, Matthew Gwaltney, Caitlin Hammaren, Jeremy Herbstritt, Rachael Hill, Emily Hilscher, Matthew La Porte, Jarrett Lane, Henry Lee, Partahi Lumbantoruan, Lauren McCain, Daniel O'Neil, Juan Ortiz, Minal Panchal, Erin Peterson, Michael Pohle Jr., Julia Pryde, Mary Karen Read, Reema Samaha, Waleed Shaalan, Leslie Sherman, Maxine Turner, Nicole White

I work as a data analyst
So, I ran the numbers
But, these are more than numbers
These are people: sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, friends, lovers.

Stanley Almodovar III, Amanda Alvear, Oscar A. Aracena Montero, Rodolfo Ayala Ayala, Alejandro Barrios Martinez, Martin Benitez Torres, Antonio D. Brown, Darryl R. Burt II, Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, Angel L. Candelario Padro, Simon A. Carrillo Fernandez, Juan Chevez Martinez, Luis D. Conde, Cory J. Connell, Tevin E. Crosby, Franky J. DeJesus Velazquez, Deonka D. Drayton, Mercedez M. Flores, Juan R. Guerrero, Peter O. Gonzalez Cruz, Paul T. Henry, Frank Hernandez, Miguel A. Honorato, Javier Jorge Reyes, Jason B. Josaphat, Eddie J. Justice, Anthony L. Laureano Disla, Christopher A. Leinonen, Brenda L. Marquez McCool, Jean C. Mendez Perez, Akyra Monet Murray, Kimberly Morris, Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, Luis O. Ocasio Capo, Geraldo A. Ortiz Jimenez, Eric I. Ortiz Rivera, Joel Rayon Paniagua, Enrique L. Rios Jr., Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, Christopher J. Sanfeliz, Xavier E. Serrano Rosado, Gilberto R. Silva Menendez, Edward Sotomayor Jr., Shane E. Tomlinson, Leroy Valentin Fernandez, Luis S. Vielma, Luis D. Wilson Leon, Jerald A. Wright

I did research to try to find all the victims since I became abruptly aware 16 years ago
There are too many
I could not discover a single database that contained a comprehensive record
No one can keep track of it anymore
I know I’ve missed people
I know there are 1000’s of people now missing people
Even 1 was too much

Hannah Ahlers, Heather Alvarado, Dorene Anderson, Carrie Barnette, Jack Beaton, Steve Berger, Candice Bowers, Denise Salmon Burditus, Sandra Casey, Andrea Castilla, Denise Cohen, Austin Davis, Virginia Day Jr, Christiana Duarte, Stacee Etcheber, Brian Fraser, Keri Galvan,  Dana Gardner, Angela Gomez, Rocio Guillen Rocha, Charleston Hartfield,  Chris Hazencomb, Jennifer Irvine, Nicol Kimura, Jessica Klymchuk, Carly Kreibaum, Rhonda LeRocque, Victor Link, Jordan McIldoon, Kelsey Meadows, Calla Medig, James ‘Sonny’ Melton, Pati Mestas, Austin Meyer, Adrian Murfitt, Rachael Parker, Jennifer Parks, Carrie Parsons, Lisa Patterson,  John Phippen, Melissa Ramirez, Jordyn Rivera, Quinton Robbins, Cameron Robinson, Lisa Romero Muniz, Christopher Roybal, Brett Schwanbeck, Bailey Schweitzer, Laura Shipp, Erick Silva, Susan Smith, Tara Roe Smith, Brennan Stewart, Derrick ‘Bo’ Taylor, Neysa Tonks, Michelle Vo, Kurt Von Tillow, Bill Wolfe Jr.

and NOW I’ve run out of lines and time to read off all 2,977 people who died in 9-11
Isn’t that a tragedy?

Its like I sit and watch the world go by cruisng to oldies,
feeling new inside, but outside is a face of a man who will attack if you dont know me.
gut instinct is below me homie, piece of mind,
dont change your words if you cant cash the truth but besides that...
See im not perfect I lost ties and made knots that made me fall from my own tension with no intentions to stand even if I can, I cant, im grounded by my mistakes that relvolve around me, reminding me what I did made me what I am.
AS I stay subsiding in a position thats clearily hiding,
binding my chest compressed against my last breath , to save what little life I have left in a world where title nor status mean nothing when your an ******* to those you called your best interest I do confess im that lowlife as i cruise still music speak to my esscense releiving me for those seconds im just a person again but after that im back at it again

..I dont write for pitty so let that be known, im just here to vent this steam that once stood ablazed passion for a love that is now a shack of memories in my head of your smile and gestures a feeling I onced called home now ruins from what i ruined, foolish I am.
Clueless more than anything to let many so many slip away im the worst fisherman of love.
because I use my soul as bait, and little by little i let the big ones escape an take chunks of me away to a place I can never retrieve it, so believe it im that space
im that vessle ive became the shell of a hermit , hollow and skirmish.
Tarnished, and used,
debri left as rubble to make roads,
but none to pave my own cause I have no resources
cause im that alone....****,
maybe I can just leave it for those who wish me back if I do something foolish like giveback the life Ive live, for a plaque and a name and a date?
or should I just lookback and keep cruisin passed the bruissin and showin scars of my mistakes as a human,
all I know is....nothing,
and thats why I stay cruissin, freedom of the road and music,
away from the world and my ruins.



-Deep Though aka
Linguist Musician
aka Emmanuel Hernandez

You stabbed me in the back, and expect me not to bleed.
Now every time you stand behind me you expect me to breath with ease,

You stabbed me in the back, and expect me not to see.
Though you sowed it up and closed it up its still infected, blue, and green.

You stabbed me in the back, and expect the pain to leave.
Still I feel the steel cut deep beneath cutting through every vain and stained your sleeve.

You stabbed me in the back, and now expect of me,
To walk *****, to talk correct, and to act like life’s lovely,

You stabbed me in the back, and I’m expecting you to see.
That you stabbed me in the back, and I’m trying not to scream.

You stabbed me in the back, but the one to blame is me.
I turned and left you cold and wet and expected you to plead.

I stabbed you in the chest, and expected you to smile at me.

-J.Cruz Hernandez

prove to me....

prove it to me!
because..
words are just words, show it to me!
don't let me stay sick,
be the cure!
Be there for me,
stay by my side.
Love could be there,
just don't cover it with lies!
Love me,
don't let this chance slip.
Having me is better than having a wrist slit.
Scared to commit??
Why would you?
You stayed a loyal friend
all these years,
now why wouldnt you?
Step up and  be the person the to shut it down.
Uplift me,
save me me from this deep blues,
and deep scars before I drown.
protect me!
Be the love and armor that's shines beyond distance of sound.
Be the air that I breath,be the path i walk.
Each step with on you can be real and not just talk.
Is what I feel,
put my heart on lock. prove it to me....
times in life are late rough.
Not you,the clock...

tic without the tock,
zip without the lock
hip without hop
click without the clip and gloc..
is you without me,and I know if you need me,its will never stop..
real talk,or walk lies,
step up,is forever hear my misery in the friendzone,not ties.

By: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
7/7/12

i spur with emotions, drinkin lots potions feeelin nautious yet still hopin,to come out this truth i cant stomach like vommit.
sick with the love bites im  scratchin, feeling whats left of my heart, a  fraction, my souls is cracked in, sea beast that dwells deep like the crackin,
my actions seem to hold no bounds,snortin pounds,
i keep gettin chained up like kratos, getting chased by hell hounds,
go around my mind, youll see a fault, of my own,
cant stand myself **** ***** im all alone
im pintched tight between **** i dont like,
i choose to be!! only me myslef and I be
dealin with drama , thats takin heavy not lightly.
just a thougth i always ponder.. to creek and somber,
into a sleep were river flows deep like my mind,and conscious.
i fight daily, mind body nd soul, im lossin myself im no longer a whole, ima shell of what i used to be, fill me up with slug, thats all i wish well...that you can recite as my eulogy..


BY: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
5/23/14

last I wanna see or hear
is you cried.
cause the pain I get from that hurts inside.
I feel your sorrow,I feel how hollow.
But remember,If i'm in your heart then move on to tomorrow.
Cant you see? Baby?
The love I have is truly,  eternally,And specifically yours?
The only women in my life that I adore.
That I respect and cherish each sec,when you take away my breath.
with you I live for.
Do or don't tell me more,
If you wanna keep to yourself I understand,and I respect that.
But baby when you cry,its my job,my priority to prevent that.
Make sure that,each tear is less dense and not emotionally filled.
its not your fault,it never will.
So please don't regret any choice you made babe,cause my love will ill.
I know you cry to get it out and,It will never happen when my heart is in.
Each tear will dissapear,and any fear,we'll overcome.
As long as I can heal it,With God's help Love will always be sung.
With each breath from my lungs,not asthma can prevent me,to stop running with those tears.
I catch each one,kiss each one,and let the pain dissapear...
Not one will slip,from my hand,
As long as your heart has grip on me,
I help you stand.
YOU'LL never need another hand.
Cause my heart,my love,MY trust,I will be the only man.

3-28-12  

Each day,
each week,
each kiss we give,
every time we speak,
I fall hard with love for you so strong it leaves me weak,but I still give.
MY BOO! I mean,your my one,and only!.
DONT ever forget,I'm here,you never are lonely.
BAbe,
My pookie,
My joy.
my sweet cookie,
Lovey dovey chipsahoy.
sweet kissy kiss smoochy smoochy.
EACH moment with you is filled with bliss,
romance,and butterflies make heart and stomach lift.
Tisk-tisk-tisk
Yeah! -.-
→You now you always win.
In any love fight we have,
but I always win if we both end up cuddlin.
And snugglin,with alotta smoochy! smoochy!
Cmon admit it ;)
(its a tie),
Don't cha think mi pookie?
Haha I love everytime we hold hands,and its like there's no limmit to our convos.
No matter where we stand
You light my side up with one smile,a blessing to witness and have,your time and attention,
I can go on for miles.
I CAN say the things that makes your day,And remind you of my support and love for you,Like I did last nite.
Before you went to bed,
You gotta a text from me,and you read,all the sweet comforting.Words that I wrote,
you can almost hear me sing.
Even if my voice is bad,
I'm glad that your nite was made, And I can rest myself.
Knowing our love safe,
And your tears are saved.

BY: Emmanuel JV Hernandez
6/28/12

The shape of her eyes
built with the truth
to keep her love a disquise
dark eye shadow her past as my proof
Ive seen and held her when she cried
I would never tell a lie
I keep my words smooth

mi cara linda

"even when I say bye
i still look into her eyes
just to say I love you"...

Her eyes change color
emotions and stress
built on another
leaving her without rest
The fire that burn inside
spirit wanting to be free
in the deepness of her mind
cant you see? her love is mine!

I see in her eyes
the story deep behind
the very knot & hard ties
twist and many turn arguments that left dry tear trail scars
and fear  burns
.
many had held her down,
even when she was right.
mamacita they block your shine
cause they scared ill make you mine.

BY: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
7/7/12

When im gone, and no longer there to hold you when you crying.Maybe then you'll realize that you was the one lying,  and im done! don't bother even  trying.Rain of pain tears are falling,  and my heart is cold  your love is calling?
so I hang up!
cause your full of it, no more love falling, cause im through with it.

I could've been there as your man, but now thinking of it, I cant stand.
And as for this stranger in this strange land, this strange man, and this real man, will meet who is now a heartless dead man.
Only only one will be on his feet, and its this man.

but in the end!
Back to you, and how you did me wrong,I get it.
You played me the whole time, and in my presence you don't belong.
Now that the hand has turned, and my patience with you has been wasted.
time with you is gone,but theres a closure that I can never face it.

I cant believe it, how nieve I was!
Its the truth, your pathetic its pittyful too
and I regret it, all that i did for you.
Your no longer a memory or a fantasy.
What Ive made you is all deciessed-full,in my heart.
You an art that shouldnt live, be punished for what you did, and let me be once rewarded for all that I've give.

So I leave you this letter, more of a promiss.
That life could take better care of me rather than you, from what you promissed.
So lets be honest, you never had a thing for me, but I did for you.
Quess thats wasnt enough to keep me too.
So "bye bye!", Im tired! Im gone!
When you ask were I went,
just listen to this song.
My pain is written in these lines, now start reading!
If you really did care for me then make wounds in thought of me, and start bleeding.
So I can live off your pain, and laugh myself to sleep.
knowing your stupid, and deceitful actions lead you to lossing me.
You blame everything but yourself as if its not clear to see.
One will not prove there mistakes, but some are open spokenley.
And your not one.

I hope this letter rotts your insides,
make your eyes burn from tears as if it was from rays of the burning sun,
and let your lips dry.
Cause no one will ever kiss you like I will,
not no guy hunn!
The only real thing in your life has just been killed.
I bet your not thrilled, to see me smile, but behind it, its anger filled.
Im strong willed, but at times I cant help but think your heart was born still.
"Us" did happen too fast, now the thoughts of you is just those of my past.
I'll still keep you in my broken heart,suffocating in a caste.
So your love can die,
as I give you a taste of you own trash.
Let it known, my heart beats with no rhythm.
From what you said and what I've known baby your unforgiven. I.I know It wont hurt you as it hurts me, but I rather let you know, that I rather be thirsty than drink your love, why? because your cursed see?
you told me lies to hypnotized me, I saw love but I felt it blindly.
false image of love, is  what you remind me, and im this song, you play this, now rewind me.These lyrics are clear, like my head is now, open mindly.
Able to co-exist with my heart, now before I can love again I wouldn't have to tear it apart.

By:Emmanuel jv Hernandez
Created 12-10-11
pefected 2-22-12

An acquaintance of the deceased,
Hernandez was quizzed by police.
If charged, he'll post bail
for a tight end in jail
cannot even shower in peace!

I lay awake in bed holding my breath
grippin the sheets feeling close to death
Dreamin a world without you will have me feeling helpless and worthless less of a human being.

You make me better
I wish I known you sooner, I woulda never had let you get hurt,
having ya feelings growin in dirt,
like other losers.
on my knees tellin beggers cant be choosers,
on my knees with a promise ring tellin at least my love wont bruise ya.

Cause people took you for granted,
but no longer will you need a fistt,
all will you need is your lips cause ima have your hand in something to be,
future maybe?? Have another baby?
its crazy but thats life, when you pushin up daisy.

Mamita im lazy,
but my heart is not, it stands on two feet while holding its own just like you baby, it wants you as its crown.
So you can be held on top.
On top of my world and on my mind,
cause thats where you are in reality almost all the time.

Pardon my feelings that grow ahead of time, pass the ceilin thats just life on a heart monitor,
always on a thin line, cause you take  my breath away , barly breathin.

So dont mind my-
my sweet Dear, i only fear for for my heart to be taken or mistaken for something its not so I reveal my soul to you, cause thats all i got,
you on my mind alot and i think?
see I cant stop!
I dont know why? Ima hot head , with you in my mind im hot
in the skys like a star that been shot,
and the heat is commin,the hots for you have me burnin,

and im alil concernin i hope im not being played cause then  from this will, you defeat its purpose, and ima be back at square one again,
feeling worthless,
i open my self ahead of time,
so i pull open the close curtains so,
you can see thru my eyes in time you will know for certain,
that i am the realist! but i am not all perfect,
im just ahead of the curve like script cursive.

By: Emmmanuel jv Hernandez
7/6/13

How dare you.....ask for so much,
I gave you air, i soothed your lust,
I held your fears away, loved you till you blushed,
How dare you ask for soo much...
I kept you calm,when i held your palms,
when **** got wrong i held you afloat, strengthen you to believe in hope when it was lost, i was your back bone, i made you strong...
how dare you ask for soo much, again i wont,
i would've would stood in the front lines, soo the paycheck could caress any of your desires and interest,
How dare you, leave and come back again,as if nothing never ever had happened..
A conversation?? how dare you ask for soo much...
A picture??? How dare you ask for soo much...
A hug???? How dare you ask for soo much....
you want the stuff?? too bad..How dare you ask for soo much, your actions wont repay anything you done to me,soo much I wont dare to tend too your need and wants...
So Dare ask for more, Cause ive given enough and i wont ever take it back,
time has it now, your left with an empty housed and heart, now you know what a man like me is about...
How dare you.....


BY: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
5/7/14

This ******* writers block has me claustrophobic.

The pressure of the air around me has me struggling to breath.

My hand is sore from an imminent future of carpal tunnel syndrome,

And my mind is wandering from a sad past that I won’t remember.

Age has taken its toll on me and this youth of mine is wasted.

The only things I have left to admire are the women that remain unmoved by my lack of maturity, and remain despite my ignorance.

I’ve written quite a bit throughout my years, but I have never created anything that has fully filled the void left by a presence that was never there.

I’ve never written anything that will satisfy my need of a perfectly paradoxical phrase that will always be embedded within your soul, or mine, and yet i continue to write.

Even now as the keys on the keyboard quickly click and clack together.

I search through the vast and endless realms of the universe for a glimpse of a spark that will ignite the fuse of the core of my imagination, and have all the thoughts that i have ever thought blown out from an explosion so vast and powerful that those thoughts would become desperate.

Hopefully, through their desperation they will come together.

One can only wish that those thoughts will rearrange themselves, and create a logical structure that will one day come back to me.

The thought of death does not scare me.

The thought of being forgotten in my times when the world seems new breaks my very existence.

The pressures of the world don’t way heavy on my shoulders,

But if I could come up with something to write it would be awesome.

-J.Cruz Hernandez

This frustration is overtaking my ability to function properly,
I'm not depressed, but I do detest that this situation has unbalanced my harmony.

I lost a part of me, or did I let her go?
Was it me that could not see? It was I who closed his eyes and this I know.

I know that in that desperate act I was with good intentions.
I know that i mentioned many times how i planned to present it.

Did I plan too much? Did I put too much effort in the attempt to correct myself?
"Don't fix what isn't broken." That's how she expressed herself.

It was I that was broken not she who pleads with silent screams.
Was it selfish to leave simply to see if i could be the man of my dreams?

I dreamed of a King who would care for his Queen.
Shield her from pain. Dry her from rain, and kiss her so sweet.

I can no longer continue with this poem cause sugar is bitter.
Call me a quitter.

-J.Cruz Hernandez

My best friend who I think about constantly.
My best friend who I wished to be apart of me.
My best friend who I wish and pray, To have her one day ,safe so I can see her smiles brighter then they are today.
My best friend whos pain kills me too.
My best friend who is the red to my blue.
My best friend theres no one like you,
Im stuck on you like glue,
part we might at times but Itll never end or be thru.
Cause My best friend, you are true.
My best friend, you are real.
I love my best friend, more of a man I will ever be,
bend as you might you the world will never break a woman of steel
My best friend my fortune and wealth , my queen for you i kneel.
On the foreal
Im happy phareel
My best friend, I only wish the best for you.
My bestfriend I only want you to be comfortable.
My bestfriend when I hear you cry I die inside how could any guy hurt such a free spirited butterfly.
**** got me ****** up in many ways
Wanna **** this ***** up payback is a bill the ***** didnt pay. And im all about gettin paid.
Pssh one way..
Back to a soft spot like your cheeks
My best friend I love you with all my might and will,
Your my everything,
there no other who can take your place,
not now nor ever
will there be anybody better,
never will and still till
this day , as ghost as ive become,
such a son of a gun, I **** back and fired
I dont give a ***** at everyone,
I am sorry to ever fired at you.
My boo My true friend real ***** to the end.
MY BEST FRIEND.
YOU ARE WHAT I LOOK FOR IN EVERYONE.
BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY TO EVER HAVE IT.
The chemistry that cooks and sizzle great friendships, we have it...
GREAT CONVOS AND TRUST?
between us its now a habbit.
Laughter? We made it an addiction, theres no1 like you me without life and time lacks conviction,

Its gunna get better
I will never leave
I will never retreat
When you need me
Im there believe me
Im that shadow that hugs the light to your smile
No1 else can see me.
Im the voice that hugs your opinion,
 Never wanna see you down
Never frown
Just hope in the day ill be blessed to still be around,
Everytime i look at you I thank God and nature
How could there make such a woman
So much love your signatures kisses papers.
Your "laters" are an eternity, but as soon as you show im rollin deep
Like the **** your that good thc
That sticky that breaks
Easily
Your indica sendin me to the sky high
With litterature  of your ways
Your butterfly that never had a beginning stage
You was born that way
Back in the day when your daddy made that right choice,
And your mother wow!  But you amazing.
Never phasin the problems
You always there facin them
Head on, trapt cause your headstrong
My bestfriends theres untold reasons why we get along.
Maybe your kryptonite livin three doors downs,
But i still remain strong whenver  you around,
The world stops
Cause your revolving now,
Center of my attention,
Love to hear you speak,
The way nose jiggle when you mad at me yellin,
Haha i cant be mad, you make me smile , like the sayin you got in the bag.... glad
What else i like? Rememer this a prototype,
Only shedding a glipse thoughts in my afternights.



By Deep Thought
aka Linguist Musician Aka
Emmanuel JV Hernandez

From the heat from my chest to yours, a night fire, heavy breathing, steady motion, a storm, arise.

Fire that's burning inside, passion love that cant be divide.It truly inspires me how your lips caress mines.How the single touch of your hand on my back, gripping,holding, pushing against me, while I push back.

Slow motion of the ocean, forward and back, slipping and sliding, rubbing and grinding,eyes on lock, lips are locked, heated session.Our love making obsession, sensation, goosebumps, caressin your neck, holding your hands, biting your lips, grabbing your thighs, oh my how our bodies lay intertwined.

Right before the night is over, the sun approaches and the *** is sober.I lay upon you, your legs on my shoulder, move them to my waist, in between you, to be closer to your face.To stare into the eyes of grace.Our love making has created a hold in the twilight zone place.Something that can be remembered for all the time, wen watch the sun rise.In bed intertwined, holding you close to my heart, in the lovely is the heated night, we stay passionate and love till the moon and sun rise till fall.

By: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
3-1-12

A Heart that Parts away from the chambers,That pump lies thru the veins with pain.A love that was crucified and died, sacrificed, and does behind a disguise.A mask.
That mask the past scars, the torn skin, truth ripped from the flesh left hollow and echos sorrow,
Faint in the distance, youth in the mirror,
Not in the eyes,tired of lies , eyes cry seeing human bein their nature.
Soo cruel  the pool of liquor im bathin my pours soakin the reality to of depression wastin every ounce of time blazin to relieve the stress of being puzzled in a maze,
Forsaken and disturbed to see the same face awaken shaking like the floor of order.
The door of opportunity leads to another border.
Truth itself holds no water,Takin so much in becoming a mental horder,
nothing new but the struggle, and only lived a quater.
When is there change ? im in need of aspoiler,or vent.
Like im exhaust, im exhausted from many losses, im lost and losed many calls from God.
Stop stallin God hear my repent im callin, so answer.
Thats all im askin ,
im tired of being bent, broke from bein spent,
sick of the cancer, sick of abuse.
I want peace of mind, can hell call a truce? living on the edge, Im hangin, danglin , souless  as a manikin, lost in the sky walkin,
High like aniken.
Im havin epiphanies, deliberately givin up my own liberty,
honestly my  honesty is now nothing no one acknowledge my poverty. My truth was rich, outta this world cosmically possibly the realist to ever grace reason modestly.

BY: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
1/16/14

Nothing was the same...
nothing was the same when you left my side,
I was cold and deprived of the eyes that i loved and the waist that i hugged.
Nothing was the same....and I...cant..
Nothing was the same when I saw you again, with another,
my souls mirror cracked, and flooded my heart with shards that stopped my heart the moment our eyes locked.
i wanted to be under the covers!and I cant..get away from it all, I wanted it all back but at the time I don't want a inch,or a fraction...
none of which would replenish the satisfaction, we once had...
Nothing was the same, i drink my thoughts watching the rain.
ponderin and ponderin wonderin,and wanderin where would I be if you followed back to the place were we once laid not so long ago,
i heard the bell toll,and we kiss soo , much passion filled the air, now its nothing more than fumes of my lungs blackening, whats happening??
I know....
Nothing was the same, and living I cant, but surviving I am..

BY: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
5/7/14

Where was you when I fell , how cliche of a statement to tell,
no! Where was you ? Not here aparently,
seems like yesturday, another cliche,
**** it! I can rhyme all day.
I just need to know whats the point of money?
I GET IT, I loose it, i spend it , I abuse it.
I dont want it but I need it, Is money air?
Cos I dont wanna breathe Im stressed from the atmosphere making  me share.
I rather be ghost watch time fly by , maybe write a book to tell about my times travel,
about love from afar, how its pure but scared,
Have it published  then be awarded rubish, cos there no success or achievement when you see the half cup cruisin the highway and you decide to *** in it.  
LIFE How its concieved , how I precieve it ? IS newspaper Id keep under table to stop wobbling.
Am I rude, yeah, and unconventional so?
Im used to the self sabotage and abuse as a noose to climb up different challenges just to call a truce.



By EMMANUEL jv Hernandez
Aka Linguist musician

Lonelyness is a rash that itch for affection,
distance is arms greatest foe,
to hug the one you miss is the greatest gift but to get rejected is the scratches and scars that surround that rash that Still itch...and aches...
people move fast, to settle but the ones who are too busy to settle are titled not good enough.
I Tried to be there for anyone but no1 seems to care,
that ill cutt my arms off from time just to be held one lasting enough time.
I'm not the best looking I'm not the best at all close to the image people seek.
But I know I can give more than image can, I can make you feel more than your mirrored man.
I ponder offten while the river Creeks I sleep in a bed that empty so only my head and pillow is the only feelin of caressed,
lookin up I only feel no blessin even if I sneezed.
Why am I cursed to have feeling but none to give then too.
Why is time the only hand that waves by, even when I don't acknowledged it.
slowly but surely I fade into a sleep of weeps to begin another week that makes me more weak into questioning why hold on to the idea of havin one..or her or you...too keep,
if me...
if personally i am not wanted..not for a text or ring..
I'm haunted, behind me, people speak and judge me often taunted..it hurts my self esteem and fill my dreams amd conscience with ideas of doin unspeakable things,
I'm done I hunged the gauntlet, my cape is up
the sword is dull and the shield is rusted.
I'm done, ive lusted and loved it, ive drunk my heart into a bottle empty as the chest it sits in,
Im just alone and waiting for this to pass.

By -Deep Thought
Aka Linguist Musician
AKA Emmanuel Jv Hernandez

As nigh falls.
So did she in my arms...
storm is calm so only light rain falls upon the window,
deep breaths , clenchin pillows.
long strokes,
bed rocks,
silk sheets, its warm between her thighs, im in deep.

Sheep sleep but they stay countin my thrusts, never bust,
only creeks from the bed as she sweats ,each drop is another breath that she moans.
Run my hand down her thighs, feel the warmth up inside
lookin deep im in her eyes, the only light is the shadow cast on her smile.
But shes bitting her lips,
shes rubbing her breast, i kiss on her neck, now shes a waterfall ****** ,  saying baby dont quit.
i cover her mouth let her **** on my fingers, squeezin my hamd on her hips, just tp get in deeper,
i tell her...
i wanna be breathless, i want your legs on my neck, wear it like a neckless,
so im reckless, pickin her up surprising her, as she gasps!
i open her legs , give a kiss just to make her laugh, i know it tickless, but i want you to feel an equil sensation for what to come is no pickle.
But toungue sickle,
have you black out  of the intensity, legs quakin,
has the whole room shakin, feel the loss of gravity.
weightless the feeling is paperless on clouds but in reality with me and havin me faced in.
tastin every inch,
outter an inner, say God!
Baby jesus not gunna help us sinners,



EMMANUEL JV HERNANDEZ
AKA LINGUIST MUSICIAN

#MIGHTWRITEMORE
#NEEDS #EDITING

Gave you nothing less than perfection,
i received neglection
no affection ,just thoughts and depression my lesson learned by the taunting aggression,
my obsession is caressin my helpless quessin,
pressin  my deepest thoughts, tryin to harbor my lost,
tryin to hold my cost, a price of heart is stolen,
every second of the day im second quessin my life,
stuck in thoughts frozen..trying to let go...
reflection is whom im  opposen, im posen a threat,
not understanding my loneliness,  so...
im holding this, thoughts and feeling,
picturing a day on bended knee,kneeling, tellin you
my feeling, the feelings is true, you turn my  helpless why? into hopeless when..i dont wanna be your friend,i wanna meet worlds end, show you i am more than a
kiss nd hug,
im more than a,
i don't know shoulder shrug,
im more than a
then i am a here and will never be a never was,
i go the length, in 1 year, tell you I do, cause no matter what you do,
ill stick around as long as you want me too,
ill be that ***** stick witcha , snap picture in the background, tellin you every second i happy for you,while  slowly killin liver,
i know you can be better with me, but you with another *****, so
i let it goo, but let it linger, aint no ring on my finger, but  there's one in my heart if you could've looked alil deeper...you would seen how you left it alil bit torn apart.
its ok i worn the lost, i learn to floss, but heres no body like you, and im just cooping with an inevitable loss.

BY: Emmanuel JV Hernandez
5/6/14

i am aware, aware if your beauty,
How its devine,
And time  has nothin on your body, forever it curves , your words fall and the one that i pick up, are lines i wanna write, to get your attention, to grasp your mind.
I stare cause i dont wanna miss a moment, your the sun your true blinding beauty, and a morning smile that shines throughout heaven,  im surprised your not in movies.
i wanna know what you think, know who are, tell me who you be, and how can an angel like you cover your black feathers nd scars?
How many battles have you faught? How much heartache?  And how can you still stand strong and not fall?
You dont need to answer, im just truly captivated by you,
Who captures my sight, with eyes that dance with sunlight,
Without a flash of a camera,
Can a man like me handle ya?
I wanna hold you tell you how truelly you are special,
A heart so big all state hands couldnt caress you,
But i can, hands of man, whos blessed too,
You got me goin bananas runnin thru my temple,
I cant touch, so the feelin of wanting you is imensful.
So dear who I can i be near??
A angel like you , flys untouched,
Like 11s with no scuffs,
Its tough ,cause im tempted to touch, but i want your interest,
First, is it jay low? Or enough too much?
I wanna know soo, i dont over doo or rush,  i want you too smile or aleast eyes flutter interest with alil blush...
See ima artist, my loves a paint brush, your an  idea, i wanna brush upon ,
Caress your canvas,  cause theres nothing more defined as beauty as your face, eyes of dawn,  lips of life that can calm storms.
And hair that waves like the sea,
And a personality that glows like the halo you have,  hands soft and free,
More than any thing curves  worth a ride.
Thighs sweet like honey seepin up to a jar of a jewel  inside.
No disrespect, but head to toe you are a fine dime ,  with a mind intelligent aswell as sublime and kind, i wish i knew what its like to be cuff by you, cause im guilty of thoughts as a crime..
Your inviting, delighting, sweet all around.
Ima clown , but i dont joke when i say, when i look up and and down,
.Its hard to believe God made such a beautiful woman,who ls yet to have a crown.
Your strong ,  flawless, defined as one of a kind.
No one can come close to your stature,  and be as radiant as the way you truly shine.


-Deep Thought
Aka Emmanuel Jv Hernandez

you left me  like rotten food,
bitter and sour too,
cause you couldn't savor to the flavor of love that I catered you, never betrayed you,
So why? did you leave?
The only peace I have is ******* with these purples trees,
And I smash almost everyday mary jane,
Blazin on these leafs,
and still hurt all the same , I cant rid all this pain..
I thought we would be true with no masks, but your love had different plans boo,
Left me itchen a rash of questions while cutting myself too.
Ignorant to think we would last,
Lost in thoughts starring thru a wine glass.
The gates of life in the past were it haunts me and not you,
Feeling like straight trash , too much to mash and you knew.
All you did was laugh..
use me, abuse me,
Toss and threw me out..
Like im nothing
just cutt me off
am cast me out, and didn't unlock the coffin.
Any ties and every lie you told me, i thought was true, was straight bluffin.
Now its a surprise how i lost you and now im confuse everything that was about you is now more of me too.
Growing in pain, slowin in sanity, Dancin in the rain..
Looking at the sky wishing to die But I wont,
im Stuck up in the earth esteem lower than dirt
all I feel is hurt, how can i make it work?
I don't know where to go,
everywhere is close doors
all I do is feel, and the real just breaths thru my pours feeling so sore,
drinkin and thinkin more and more outta place,
cant find my face, Cant find the line to trace, Cant sea the shore to be sure
that ima just make it..
So ima just fake it, roll it and blaze it,
live thru the phases, work out these mazes,
and escape this fate to print my own destiny on its own pages.

BY: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
7/6/13

A beauty so great, was it destiny or fate?
How the sun lays upon thou bossom of thy face, that glows glorious like the kingdom behind Heavens gate.

Your smile that run for miles in my mind during contemplation, your voice so soft, when spoken give my heart palpitation. So nervous when I get near, cant help but smile, like a soldier in the face of fear, I happily welcome these feelings, without a tear.

Roses that very from color, but your a rose beyond colors, the luminescence of your eyes and smile, glow,because of your untouched beauty has progressed beyond others.Your a simple women, smart, intelligent, intellectual beauty inner and outer, like Iv'e said before your a rose, but who's love peddles and leafs has grown strong and shown, blossomed to be prone, by love that you own.

My eyes lay upon the sight of perfection, my eyes upon you, is the sight beyond ascension.Above beyond and infinity, let me caress your neck, and taste the lips of serenity and longevity.

By: Emmanuel jv Hernandez
2-27-12

Im so so sick of the life that I live.

Stuck up in the past,still don't have a **** to give.

Smothered in stress,pain in my chest.

Want to talk up,but where to confess?

Filled by lies that life does best.

Now the only thing left is death.

I expected more,but got more much less.

No joy in my life,just down and depressed.

**** up in the mind,like a man in a dress.

Take these quotas take a good quess.

Life gives you ****,with muchless rest.

And is too dark,I call it shady,but is a mess.

I cry daily,even with love in my chest.

By a unfair lady,who no better than the rest.

so I suppressed..

these deep emotions,
A lil *** and in my drink,I avoid commotion.

a couple shots to be sedated,lost in a dream,of death im faded.

till I snap out,and I awaken.

Rubbing both eyes,pupils not dilated.

looking both sides thanking god I made it..

My soul was departed
but then god saved it.
(thank God I made it)

-By Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
3-21-12