I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if she said it was okay to be short.
and she said sure it is

I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes
you can do just exactly what you want to do
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don't paragraph my letters
Sweetcakes God said,
who knows where she picked that up
what I'm telling you is
Yes Yes Yes

Kaylin ''ought to know

Well Done.
She said, but don't ***** it up. Its a start.
How could I?
Your sauciness drove right thru my heart.

Will you please be my bottom bun?
Baby, you're my seed number one.
Sesame wants Sesayou

Tardy to your selfworth day party
Salty, and peppered with hardy haught looks
I've overcooked this simple match up
Maybe baby I'm plain ketchup.

Dedication:

Nectare bred of an artist's haught testament—
        brings only stunted buds of tastelessness.
Be it naught for the height in numerous tidal of Muse—
        to cause the strike of warmth in bruise.

Upon the cheeks shadow'd in might—
        strength of amour upon near-sight.
You!—Blossom, are of a frightful power—
        to journey nestled mind of dark tower.

As though a hawk perched higher than the peak—
        of mountainous and controlling streaks,
Colourblind by potent affair lost—
        by centuries of sicken'd fever crossed.

By and by another name, honeyed pursuit—
        yearning that cause a poet becoming mute.
Meagerly, he instead scribes his burning allegory—
        that shall cause a life—eternal fragmentary.


Dangers of Kimberleigh

“Love Jo all your days, if you choose, but don't let it spoil you, for it's wicked to throw away so many good gifts because you can't have the one you want.”
― Louisa May Alcott, "Little Women"

I.

When the morning demands you and I—
        our ghosts shall pass empty resides,
Against fields where lines opposing light, force and bind—
        of Angel's breath and Dæmon's spine.

Of shrieks louder than their first meeting's kiss—
        residing now—perfection upon midnight's bliss,
Abiding near the tender gardens upon the blinding dark—
        creating haste of love-song made by grave Skylark.

Who in joyous play—should cause collapse—
        towards serene, augmented lapse.
Lapse of falling, of where gentle screams—
        of every child that's ever been,

Who stroke themselves against empty glass—
        and where visions pray upon the grasp,
Of wind—Of blinding—Of melody—
        to hold faint—Immortality.


II.

This shall be where morning seeks—
        no longer calming of beauty's cheek.
Instead to lash with vain and hostile mount—
        crimson over dashed and harsh doubt.

Until image engraved by forgiving rite—
        speaking neglect of fiend or fiendish blight.
In-versed—coole angelic heart to passéd—
        passage beside Lilac's memory in mortal castéd.

In the unwashed Earth, where the unwashed play—
        'till they unfairly capture it from younglings— Away.
Lonesomeness of watchtowers in gossamer's breast—
        when airy words strangled from bless.
  
Reachéd by the hand—abide in fable—
        quiet tho—in fruitation, a single silver Maple.
Shyly envisioned inside salvation's solitude—
        where tenderness drowns tenderéd concludes.


III.

The sister was lovely—inside my sight—
        in our union—created Nature's first night.
Through our throats rendered fragile lullaby—
        which slaughtered silence and made soldiers cry.

Her bristles—exploit in darkness—I could not see—
        or merely recollect in memory.
A mouth moving inside of mine—
        creatures in mawkery of untouched divine.

Eyes whom beatéd harder than the breeze—
        to remind me—gently of the ease.
Of being caught in cognitive stance.
        which leaves surrender to in traditional, disciplined dance.

Upon the backs of universal forestry—
        and inside their stomachs to where we would meet.
Offended to death by requiem—
        made inside our faint dream's drum.


IV.

Where dreamer's would lash upon in endless screams—
        innumerable Rubies ruin'd before their first gleam.
Upon reflection in lover's loss—
        diminished to demise before their first gloss.

It is upon the fool's finest end—
        where lies his fantasy—condemned.
The jester who remains as undefeat—
        before death shall cause lackluster's retreat.

Unaware tho, in current mode—
        as body by body closely will hold.
And messages of Gold conspire in streaks—
        immersed—affection in mind eternally correlates oblique.

Ringing and humming throughout what laid—
        against blonde grass from Sin was made.
Refraction's cast that betrayed—to promise me—
        endless nights of haunting harmonies.


V.

Held tightly in grieving bourne—
        broken—in new blood is sworn.
Across the snow-cover'd Evergreens—
        where the temptress grave is left unseen.

Not upon her kiss—did darkness fall—
        alone—in shining pieces did crawl,
Against creator—and thus creator hence—
        bitter loving shrouded by bare defense.

As her finite skin had laid eternal flesh—
        of what laid inside Pine's parting mesh.
Holding and crying out for uncertainty—
       feelings moaned into sudden Mercenaries.

Morose and fledgling in their stand—
        spiritéd to Death's light misunderstand,
Of peerless eyes and broken brooks by the sea—
        casting ruined cloth over our Evergreens.


VI.

Unfurnished dawn may scour for length of furnished night—
        quick—until mirroréd ebbed ocean does wrong.
To consume the idles of Man's afraid mind—
        fairest—lest His idles struck into divine.

Exclaiméd none tho, in archaic lust—
        deceased—firmest in high robust.
Where pleasure finds comforted pause—
        inside arched-back in neglected cause.

Betray the shallow grimace flee—
        and ethereal composed by the breeze.
Lies delicate delusion before sorrow—
        that shall thieve away the Artist's morrow.

And in thievery is where the Angels lie—
        angelic beasts with unlawful guise,
In courts—castrated by the throat—
        hardened in assumption by blackened elope.

This beautiful smile conceals and covers
All the pains of disconnected lovers.
This beautiful smile, iv practised for years.
It shows itself now to mask the tears
This beautiful smile has been perfected to hide
All the pains that haught me inside
This beautiful smile is begining to break
I'm not sure how much more I can take
This beautiful smile, believe me iv tried
But it can not take away the thoughts of suicide.

when
simple praises
difficult
it is because
to deep
and typical
it is flawed.
it sees itself
caught between
naught and bolt.
it would concern
if it did not
sault.
complex would
eventually jolt
the pressure is too
haught.

Im finally ready to talk about my mom
Now that I feel this numb
she died half a decade ago
and I loved a woman half a decade ago
When I was playing video games on the couch
on the corner imagine of that L shaped green couch
and I slowly realized out of the corner of my mind
more out of the corner of my consciousness
that my mother was dead
laying right next to me
Cold unresponsive and unbreathing
It was now looking back on it
a direct parallel to at least two different moments in my life
When my brother died and I stood outside my mothers bed
barely gathering the courage to wake her
often crushing eternities of silence keeping me from prodding her
from daring to say her name much after
I dont remember when she did awoke
I dont remember her unbearable fear
or the wanton panic in her eyes
but I remember my own
Oh I remember my own and
I kept her just out of sight of cognizance
Before moms funeral
the latter correspondent showed
I had *** with a lie
a lie I knew well
But I kept it just out of sight
No just at the edge of my mind
The drive home
with her brother in the back seat
and my *** deep inside her
fertile cheating womb
My Dark Twisted Fantasy
Bent right around me
I dont remember what I said
Panicking
I couldnt look her in the eye
Id only see myself
And I have to keep her out of sight
just on the line
to where maybe I didnt get here at all
maybe not me but another me
isnt experiencing this reality at all
shock they call it i think
fear
coping
dissociation
compartmentalizing
the trauma
the oh not me
I sat there for how long
playing a game I did not remember
as it was going on around me
my mind was already bleaching
forget forget fade to black
and still she laid there
not breathing
covered in her own blood and mucus
in a position that was disgustingly revealing
till they came
and took her carcass away
and I held someone
some family member or friend or some such
not even blinking and her
just out of sight
just out of thinking
until she left
and my weakness unyielding
exited too
only cold reality now reaching

The epilogue
of this ugly selfish poem
isnt all that revealing
not like before
not like after
I havent been able to form a real relationship
even at twenty three
I maybe came close but
Ive realized im very much a broken being
there was some sort of lesson
or personal growth
some sort of fundamental strength or courage
that was supposed to be found in hope
theres supposed to be a happy ending
a someone special waiting for me
no its not whats on tv
its all my sanity can dream
yet i cant share or feel
these dark deathly thoughts
i cannot even risk now
being rejected instead of
alone in my haught
oh ill only look
in the dark corners of the web
and ill only take and ill never give
i dont know where else to look
i never really did
and i have no moral compass to guide
only my experiences now to abide
so the epilogue is simple now:
Maybe I'll see you one day,
Around the corners of these ugly selfish words.

from where's bloods coming going

           (hearts to hands)

flowing clearly imagined
into letters crisp
and words immutable
they (blushing
and sundered) enamor
warmly gushing
rills and rivers consuming
the mind sharpest
and soul firmest set planted
roots down
into niggling deepness
they blossom
(those words febrile
and haught)
in my body's heart
(and i pluck
seeds from their small strong
buds blooming
and i plant them in your body's heart)

I'm alright
A little tipped by
bad relations, bad expressions
But perhaps I will behave
and pertain to the world's demands

I'm just a human
with my wall of thought
of perception, of ego
A little buzz
in a sphere of buzzes
My thoughts, my prejudices
a meaningless whim
of part anger, part soul
To be free
is it not human necessity?

Ah, I incessantly thought
about mistakes, grievances
of the past, of haught
I forgot the written words
of the rulers of kingdoms forgotten
of the mighty greats that were finally broken
for all I have is an urge
To break through this wall
and perhaps be a bigger me
endlessly

this patron
no longer exsists

well this is news
to me

i just returned some
overdue books

and wish to borrow more

but nope, not me
I no longer exsist

that must mean
I need not buy
those lambshanks
for tea

Not pay those bills
teeter tottering  on
the verge of overedue

no need to be pleasent
to any one, especially
not you

Rude lady, new
to the system
who has coldly
informed me
of my demise

Who states with
disinterest and haught
in her spectacled eyes
You must not have
borrowed for
the past three years
You no longer exsist
this she did insist
even as I pointed out
I had returned books
only three days overdue
Even as other librarians
stopped to chat, knowing
my name, recommending
new books, telling me gossip
about this and that....

This patron does not exsist
it cannot be true, it is not a glitch
this patron is a patron
through and through
I left them to figure out
the mystery, I did not pout
or get out of sorts and a little blue
I said I would come back Monday
that is if over the weekend
I do not simply fade away

First 8 lines are always free, the rest costs 20 minuters
- Raw, working stock poet tries and guesses, cast
as cares away, in spells… opposing all solid-state profits,
I disagree with most superlatives,
August is far crueler,
everybody knows. As a month,
April is
Seed
come so, see
Time come soon, prythee, swifty, didwe
Harvest, bestness contended for, proud
blue ribbon exceptionality, proved
-fecundity fructifity
consciousness, place in time known
light as punctual mass, echolialy lialy la la
- and also and also and also with you
~~~~ wavy thing, right
;rock on
who pulls past last rituals, past wars,
and war's threats,
defend the wall,
calling all outs in, defend the wall
fend off the opposing mind, in time, attempt
tempting all my desires to lieve be,
the state I'm in, once again
- no, I don't believe we're on the eve
- of destruction, my AI went auto inteleosic
Free am I, paid the life, or fifty years,
first come, first served,
learn the long way,
beats never learning at all.
- warrior spirit, something, like that
- say Maxwell's daemon is squeezin' yer bub-

not worried for my nation, not worried for
my error, nor for my will divided among my

auto refreshing systems, in the system,

set to flow at any speed we may agree, this fast
mean, statistical mean, free path, not
shortest distance, point to pointless whenever,
whatever,
mean free path, meandering, ring ring
beer commercial real life, as many can imagine
this is that good place, rest and relaxation, unwind,
- imagine you enjoy lines that insist, each
- line insists… it is all good, from one POV.
spin down, settle
light as the first point ever made in the game
of life on the line, strings of possibilities,
first free way, no entry fee,
we take -time, this whole thing took all day
to just now a flight of three warships
aim at Miramar, right over my valley
7:30 reread 6 m.
we feel - a sigh, some new sense esthesic
poeisic, sic, ever as it is written, so it is done.

[[[ Relegare. Read the records, find in the archives,
a volume, sealed under pressure,
to hold our emptiness out.

Popt. Popped that bubble, bubble
of thought, full spread to the bezel, white space

-eventually we all fall apart, art, and craft. Raw
reality remains, complicated, many ply, many threads
per centimeter, me-assure, self fi, con science
think
aaaaaaaa we all know knowing does not lead to madness.

Far from the maddened crowd imagined, cast of thousands,
from today, as the mother of the eight billioneth breather,
born after the events near Alamogordo, that mother
is
done been born, it aint you.

[[[[

First place/ Blue Ribbon,
Second place/ Red Ribbon,
Third place, was probably green, but I do not recall.
I never noticed what color I got, I was third.

Got a requisition for the old military mind,
kept it shined, knew it was good for something,-

Some one, ah, yes, Fulton Sheen, asked me, on TV,
just like in the spirit, the way I hear it, no lie
is of the truth, yet, yes, I know,
how lies work, one must believe trust is possible,
not culturally defined, what it is, the wedom
feeling, me and you, bound to find the answer…

F.T.A. wei wu wei wu, too WAYtold you, … meet me
at that ***** colony in Vietnam, give a dam,
rebuild some dikes we blew to hell and gone, gone
awe, the we
still functions, the old military mind, we got the gaba
keeping mean free paths open to any
enquirery counsel of haught, haught, ought not we
- clearing percussive growl- insignificant
respect our predecessors. In deed, rewatch 957 hours

This
Is BBC, from the past yet to be completed in your futurer

------------ bleed through, has dear value here? NOW
Who asks of me a reason for this faith in me?
Waar. Alas. 8 wpm
Dear , God, what
Contention,
dispute
- repute
perhaps "repeatedly" (see re-), + putare
"to judge, suppose, believe, suspect,"
originally "to clean, trim, prune"

From <https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=repute>

Or PIE*pau, punch-
"to cut, strike, stamp" {;}

Content is king.
- moments, instants, we all know
pride, swelling heat, as we are
mostly micky mouse molecules, heated
e-motionally, as volume of conscious thought
shifts into save me, auto, self, image,
hot h2oh yes
rush from rage or shame,
AI puts the blame on Thymus glands planned
final message, at the canker worm's first byte

pre-serving pattern, rage, red-face grimace
peruperu, yaaaah,
-Ma-ow-ri co robbery-gasp
choke, cough, click off. Angery flesh,
where the lie you love ***** your reason
for war to a head, that is shrunken,
to a mathematical point,
to weigh against shame put on you by a contest,
for best…

It's business, busy, busy, busy, we all must be
busy about our master's business,
making disciples, ah, ambiguity, you *****,
discipline my poeisis plea-plea-please

break loose, hold the line at etho- no, esthesic

esthesic, sic, the es, essential esses, complex
enfolding from olden minds loosed in 2022.

The rub. Yes, per haps we rhearrange, create next
from another ify point made,
you know, you just do, right, sci-psi-psy, experientially,
inside
out, gleam, see that gleam, something like the rage
that reddened the last loser's face, that gleam in her eye,
uses twice that power,
one look, one look,
you know, she knows, just iust adjust a second perspective,

megamacro gravity lens, placed just there,

I am asking you,
to play a game, with ghosts of old agreements, oaths
kept,

to the proof of the promise; and not one  

-dared finish the reason strung together, over spreading pearls,
- until the internet ****** him in
- like, 1995
sheen shone in the word serpent, on tele-type roles
to the moon, Alice, Jones, what I miss, 1964
to the moon
as in, wise as, as is the voice, bray
hoo, uses {} these to appear obvious.
- in Kansas, we call these buttermilk skys,
to here 2022, that fast
real as ever.

Trippier than hell. BY FAR, be it known.
This is the soul of a sould out soldier-
monk- protestant dissenter, cursed
son of an itch
no man can scratch alone, be it known.
Be it known, echolalia glossalalial
'armonica.

Humming.

The imaginations, ours, not
the other people, we are not
other people now. We are you,
Dear Reader, from the Dear Diary
classification for emotional connection, sin is losing all connection.
- that is all. That is, the religious ordered     wall
It is, of course, of course,
correctible,
a matter of physics, time in truth,
alls it is.

Time in truth. As a regular thing,
a daily routine,
a quotidian thing that makes peace

seem this easy, for example.
7:48

“Travesty,” those orange words spilled across the highway lines
Came on swathes of a stilled
And perfect evening time,
‘Tween buffeting air and screaming music
It seems but a step in a cyclic progression,
Or the lines that commence
This processional of cars
That follows, to the site, trails of incense,
Tears of mourn and memoirs.
Towards the hills canvassed in reluctant ennui
Jutting in the shadows the bleached ribs and pearly jaw lines
That, at times, may have looked alive, yet now
They rest static as the dead ought to be.
I sense I’m getting close, the ***** surges its triumph
As it does the sanctuary,
My head swells with deep booming sound,
The lyric of the preacher without need to expound,
Too late as the ***** shan’t stop or abate
As I pass through churchyard admonished “Hell,
Is truth realized only too late.”
Though I am soothed by that song of my youth,
Lyric’d by many-a familiar cadence and tune
Vestiges of naïveté play on the lips
But, “Hell is truth only realized too soon.”
I wait at its back and reminisce
The coming great years were something to fight for
With life, defend,
But I now see that I spent those last seconds
Waiting for them to end,
Whilst prayers of hollow wind abound
Escaped to show something holds on, at least
Pretends,
Will remain after me, aft’ I’ve settled in the ground,
To be as a sunset and come back around.
I feel like a sun, burning in fury,
Not simply a shimmer in the vastness afar,
Or the muddy face of fetid puddle
Simply rippling like a star.
Keep driving! Don’t cease my tiny hearse!
Just now do I hear the mourners’ verse,
It sounds so golden and couldn’t get worse!
But the ***** has ceased,
The daylight, it rots
(Never mind that, I’ll charge it with haught!)
And the processional laughs as they go to their plots
Their verses fall too coward to brave
The ice and the snow that is to come, mine fall stricken
With every sense of the word ‘dumb,’
But the sun reassuring with it warmth-giving rays
Will be sure to put flowers next to our graves.

Haughty Nation

“They crap in our forest”, a young man yelled
the Roma people had pitched a tent near the woods
where people of this tolerant nation go hunting.
They came here the people from afar to seek work
but are usually met with contempt and mistrust.
They came in the hope of getting a share
in this nations’ largesse, but ran into racism
unbecoming pride like it was their cleverness
that brought up oil from the bottom of the sea.
Now, instead of being unassuming, they became  
reactionaries giving pompous advice to less
fortunate countries.
“They crap in our forest”, nourishing an imbecilic
nation, that due to undeserved riches has lost
contact with reality and a kind- heart- ness.

A smile
that was clean
lustrous, and desired

No one thought
that change
would hit upon

One's ire
It hurts
The pain she wallows
There is no understanding

Lossless hallow
Peaceful burden
Depth of depression

It seems artificial
So naive
And unforbidden
The hatred that conspired
It is not of haught

I have lost
A painless thought
Expiating a tale
of a woman
whose gale
I couldn't expiate.

Thoughts that darken,
winters so sullen.
In an empty blizzard,
there lay a lizard

Wrought and tainted,
pitiful and dainted,
in his apathy ignited an empathy.
Full of life,
full of necessity

The lizard with his pointed tail,
pointed neck, pointed nose
pointed thoughts, pointed prose,
was lost with a snow covered heart

This heart burnt blue,
his emotions ensued,
passion he seeked,
his fortune naught,
in endless oblivion,
he mindlessly fought.

The lizard lay so empty
Stopped he did his walk,
for a talk

Thoughts that conspired
Dark and unintelligible
Wistful of loss
An escape
was all he sought

The lizard thought to move,
but this blizzard simply grew
his snow covered heart
with endless haught.
He simply did not align his intent
with what he thought

In finality he tried,
fearful of his demise
But try as he might,
the shallow reaches
of his snow-covered heart
did not blaze this simple desire.
And so he lay,
weeping in dismay.

In this very finality,
he lost to what life
was simply not
In endless wallows
Sirens roared
Apathetic triumph
Blissful want
In this snow-covered desert
His movement stopped.

Aftermath of war: onerous task...

to salvage flotsam and jetsam
of human wreckage
amidst a sea where triage
witnessed courtesy scattered corpses
populating the Gaza strip
more'n pound of cold flesh
forced sacrifice appeasing
vengeance usurped quarterage
tendered for countless generations
predominantly innocent victims
hostages held at staggering price
non-negotiable exorbitant nonwage
blinding, deafening, frightening kilowattage
courtesy blitzkrieg annihilating,
obliterating, pulverizing... heritage
sporting military equipage
analogous to Humpty Dumpty
where all the king's men
and all the the king's horses
severing peace pact irretrievable brokerage.

Present violent conflict resolution
as brutal modus operandi
spells woebegone webbed wide world ache
a lamentable recourse to break
vicious cycle on par
with death and destruction
analogous to an earthquake
indiscriminate enfiladed innocent
mortally wounded victims
the zealous militants did forsake
leaving him/her to gasp
as he/she did intake

their last dying breath
while just desserts served
when recalcitrant misfits of the state
staged a successful jailbreak
joining spunky and the gang
to wreak collateral damage
upon heads of oppressors,
who sought courtesy
Benjamin Netanyahu how to make
inveterate Pro Israel/anti Palestinian
whereby his once sterling
now tarnished namesake

linkedin to butchery, demagoguery,
fiery rhetoric meant to cause
Allah, Arabic Allāh (“God”) quake:
The name's origin can be traced
to the earliest Semitic writings
in which the word for god
was il, el, or eloah, the latter
two used in the Hebrew Bible
(Old Testament) cutthroat
religionists unafraid to bare fangs
and releasing deadly venom,
when transformed into a rattlesnake.

Poison infiltrates the body electric
think scorpion puncturing stinging
sundering wounding Leviathan
in present context antagonizing Israeli
bashing defense forces hazarding
triggering constellation of neighboring states
to arouse home grown insurgents
housing hotbed of militant activism
ready to explode across the webbed wide world.

Oh brother Grimm tales not so far away
pitting flesh and blood kindred folks
melded from earthen clay
no holds barred loosing terror to reign
forcing me to question
posed liked Rodin's The Thinker
dumbfounding mine sixty shades of gray,
where self extinction of **** sapiens
sharply heading oneway.

I wince with distress and tragedy wrought
how peaceful conflict resolution
infrequently said methodology sought
one subsequent generation after
harbors hatred decreasing opportunities
for babies (violently decapitated)
to experience life, liberty
and pursuit of happiness naught
to whit ruthlessness running rampant
murdering rampage haught
cannibalistic cuisine till survivors total aught.

Soundels bounce through my brain
would be phonons bundled
as e-m release and waves of taste
shudder thought-land to a stop

I can feel the network separate itself
conveying for the most part pride
become clear and even self
we see each other as us

This old thing smiles at being noticed
spreading warmth gives away its scope
What is this chorus of sense's writers
imposing naughts?
Haught?

This is the sound of the thoughts that go round and round and bring you down

The color of her hair
Draping over her face so fair
For a lover, she has no haught or air
She is one, who can hold me in a stare

Beethoven looks for music
In a church to express her love
Among his notes
Such are her words, as compared to some song

She has the glow of muses
If she wants to amuse you
You will never know
You will always be joyous, looking into the heart of light

A cold cup of coffee, she takes it strong
It's just the smoke from the chimney, that tells me she is home
Back in her town among the old
My heart longs for her, but, she doesn't stay awhile

For an endless time, I gaze
The trees rustle and anticipate
Without her, my heart loses its fire and blaze
You will understand my angst if you see her face

As I stand bare against the wall
With a shadow of her in the distant willow
Amidst the howling wind drowning out my sorrow
There are many a present for each tomorrow

If my love was true
It is because of you
The cellos will sway and sing
To those songs of love and hate