your pain is Mine
and your strEngth
you pulse through my veins
death and hardship
betrayal and scorn
stopped you not
and i Gladly tread
in your mighty footsteps
your hAtefull words
fill my ears
i Drink your poison
likE the sweetest honey
it fills my ears and sTeels my
resolve
your Hate is my strength
swing your ax
and i will follow
till the grave
you brought me back
and for that i owe
you my eternal allegiance
together you and i shall set
this world afire
so wave your red flag
my dearest devil
and know that i stand
at your side, come hell and
high water.

fire burns
water burns
but nothing burns
most of all

the height of living
is almost dying
rain matters not
at the waterfall

in the desert,
life is born
only to die in the sea

the dust in the air
are the bones of the old
in the land of the money
the slave is most free

the gentle breeze
tears down mountains
the stars above
are always too dark
the relentless clock of hatefull time
makes new lives begin to die

a glimpse of life is more than needed
before the chance at death

yet few receive
a shoulder to lean
those who do resent

and our envy our envy
is most deserved
to those whose time well spent

Dear God
I know you are a crutch,
created by a scared species,
to make the dark nights warmer.

I know that millions of lives are spent,
in your name,
and of those other pray to.

I know people flock to buildings,
bruise their knees in abeisiance,
hoping for eternal life.

I know that millions fight for you,
thousands speak for you,
and none ever see you.

I know that the universe is vast,
complex and unknown,
but not created by you.

And yet,
it would be easy,
if I could clasp my hands together,
murmur words of needs longed for,
and recieve a miracle at my door.

Dear God,
If you had indeed been real:
Then the slavery of religion would disgust you,
your followers' grovelling would embarrass.
Teh demise of your word created,
would fire you into action.
To save us.
To guide us.
To teach us how to live.

In the absence of an allmighty,
all I see is a sentient species:
violent
greedy
hatefull
Bent of self-destruction.

There is no Divine in the **** of the infant girl.

I have doubted religion for a long time, 
All because of a question a man had asked me long ago
He was not a rich man nor a hatefull man
He did not seek to destroy all my belief 
Just wanted to show me that my life was not complete
As it was
As it will be

His simple question was this,
 "would you enjoy heaven if all of your loved ones
Went to hell."
Those thirteen words changed me from 
Be good for goodness sake
To being good with out a reason
No need for a resin
The fact was I needed to live
As if there was no after life
Not so I wouldn't fear hell
But so I can live with love and hatred
So I can spend time with my loves as if we could be separated
So I could fear and care others saw me.

Those thirteen words allowed me out of a closet
With no worry of damnation
Only hope of forever love
One that can weave throw heaven and hell
If they so exist
So I can say I shall never be alone 

Those thirteen words opened my eyes
To not just hopes and dreams of a religion 
But what all people seek in a after life
Love
Love of a god
Love that shatters time and space
It's not just for me
All wish to find that love in flesh
No mater in a man,
Woman or just a companion 
I will forever seek the same love
The bible teaches of

Blood is trickleing down my side
As the knife gets more deep
I just want to go into a never ending sleep
Stabbing, thrashing, and pushing
As the knife gets closer to the bone
All i can do is harden like stone
your cold face
Thoose wild eyes
Grow darker with every lie
But what if my pain wasent from the knife?
what if i dient care about the lies?
I just want to please you
For you to be proud to call me yours
But all the slamming of the doors
And all thoose hatefull words
Dig in
Worse then a knofe
They just might take my life
Is that what you want?
Is that your goal?
To knock me down and push me
Over the edge
Then look down over the ledge and laugh becuase you win?
If thats not what you mean than watch what you say
Becuase you words hurt worse than a knife
And they just might take my life

The power of love
blocks all the hatefull mean words,
let love be your shield.

Get out of my mind and out of my heart
All you have done is hurt me
Yet somehow I still have a place in my heart for you
How can I miss someone so malevolent?
How can I miss someone who is so vile?
How can I miss someone who is so hatefull? So revenge hungry?
Why can't you just leave me be?
Please take your memory from my mind
Take the love I have for you from my heart
Take everything that has to do with you away
I miss you when you don't even deserve to be a thought in my mind
Why can you just leave

As DMX said
The bullsh*t the drama
The racists
These things so
Angry and hatefull
Makes me want to spit, swirl my baodings
And say
"Stupid society"
I need no seal
Of approvel
I am me

The rage is building,
A tower made of kindling
It only needs a spark
For it to rage through the dark
And guide a roaring light
Lightening,
Igniting the darkest corners of the mind

In hindsight
That display of might
A painting, red and black
Preceded darker times
What am I left with in the end?
Another tower,
Built with regret.

And smoldering black,
A hatefull pit
Of fire, not illuminating
Never needing a spark
But endlesly burning
An all consuming flame

Sometimes I get so positive
I scare myself to death.
I see beauty that does not excist
and I feel loved
by people who have never loved anything before.
I have fallen for the most terrible men,
I felt at home in the most hatefull families,
and now I look at you
and I see the best in you
even though you never did.

I'm a victim of my own optimism.

This hatred inside yourself,
It is not good for you.
'Cause it builds a wall,
Between you and them all.

This hatred against yourself,
It is not good for you.
'Cause hatefull it makes
And to haters - nobody takes.

This hatred does not make you
A martyr of any kind.
It just spreads negative vibes
And prevents you from being kind.

What warped a world is this?
How warped is your mind?
To make the one thing you love,
your hatred inside.

It was in the corner
of Five Points South

East and West
North and South
and the other

Juliet love Remeo
and his money

She longed to be with Julio
But no milk , no honey

Remeo's and Juliet's
relationship
soon turned
poisonous

Juliet fled into
the arms of Julio

Remeo , broken hearted
turned hatefull
sharpening his knife
everyday

Then one day
there he found
Juliet and Julio
smoking *****
at the Dew Drop
Taco and Beer

They were
hoochie cooching
waist to waist
face to face

It was too much of
a disgrace
Out came the dagger
to the screams of the place


The dagger flashed
quickly turning red
And on the floor
Juliet lay dead

He grabbed the hand
of Julio
and the two quickly fled .

I found my soul, my heart, my life, I have found everything, everything I have searched for, everything I have longed for, every unfound milligram I have found,

revealing me to all of you, both of you, opened my crying heart, freeing my soul, having me walk a road I never knew, I needed this, all of it, to completely find myself, to tear open old, physically healed scars, to show people I love, who my soul dances with, to show my secret, what I have hid for so long, from myself, from everyone.

me, i have found contentment, here, tonight, with you, both of you, evermore I hope to remember this, always, remember this seemingly dark overcast night, revealed, naked, bare...

it freed.
it broke.
it cut.
dismantled.
opened.
layed completely open.
on the ground I layed this, at your feet,
then accepting me for who I am.

a drunken mess standing, now in cold, bare with me in now whats told.

I love you for freeing me, for standing by, idly waiting for your turn to comfort another lost soul as you graciously give all you have, not expecting any in return,

thank you for finding me in my drunken state, allowing me to get close, allowing me to feel your souls' embrace.

how you showed me you, made me free to show myself too...
no matter, what previously read,
no matter the hatefull things I have said.
no matter what hurt I have caused with my words.
no matter how I made you feel.

just know, to me you are real.
just as I'd always be to you.
no matter what "this" is,

it gave me you, my hearts hiding place,
the jail cell where I feel safe,

no matter what "this" is,

you have saved me...

more than you would ever know.

I am greatful.

greatful for you, for "this"

I am greatful that this life gave me you

both of you.

thank you.

All the lies, all the hatefull words.
Burn,
so much,
I could die.

The love,
was always dead.

And whenever there is silence.
You become an unwanted guest.
The kind that is impolite,
that bothers everyone around them.

You waited for me,
but only to crush me.
"you're just a shallow *****".

Then why hold me in your arms, and say "when he leaves, I'll be your open door"?

*******.

You hurt.

And I cry,
I fight,
but my soul dies.

You will always hurt me,
and sadley,
I will always love you, because you did things no one else would.

I want to hate you,
but it seems impossible,

my room has become my friend,
along with the dark,
it gives me a place to cry,
with out my mother by myside,

cause she wouldn't understand.

Hold me,
hold my hand,

hug me,
and twirl me.

Kiss me,
like we never got the chance to,

and say you hate me.
Cause I still love you anyways.