Stick and stones can Braked your bones
But words will tear your soal into tiny pieces
Maybe not all at once
But little by little
Slice by slice
The wounds will heal
But the wounds of the soal takes more the just time
And if those wounds don't heal
U die, not physically you can't be that Lucky
, no I can't be that lucky
When your soul bleeds it bleeds hope
Hope of change, hope of man kind, and hope that you are not the words, that people call you.
My soul has ran dried befor,
Sliced way to many time
And me with no confidence to stich it back up
I was to the point of opting out,
Saying **** it.
I was tired of being called a freek tired of being told that I am less
That my life ment nouthing
Then I started to bleave it
That the world would be better with out me
And hell it would of been
I did not contribute to this world
Never made a change
I was so **** close
Blood flowing down my wrist
My mettifulical soul
Looking like my wrist
And obviously I lived
But you don't get over that kind of **** alone
It doesn't despair
It builds
U need a rope to get out of that rapid
You know what mine was.....
Words
The same thing that sliced my soal
That night I dreamed
That I was a writer
That my words did more good than the words of the outhers did harm
Not just for me but for others like me
Despair oozing out of them
Hatred coating there mind
That the only thing keeping them alive
Was the fact they cut across the tracks and not along
The next day I wrote
I wrote stories and poems
Letting my worries of the fuecher draw hope from the page and into me
Letting me clime out of my self pity
Without drugs
Without other people (the way I do everything)
And I lived
Not like I was, day by day
No I was finally alive I wanted to live
Not just because its what was expected
But I wanted this, I wanted my dream
I wanted to save not just my life
But some one else
To tell them
Yea words can beat you down, drag you to your grave, dig u a 9foot grave and berry you
But they can also brang you back to life, more alive than before.
Words can give you some thing that you felt you never had
Love, and love is what repair the wounds of your soul,
Show you that you have a reason to live,
No matter if those words are internal or external
They can heal you, and free you from the world that I once feared
Aug 21, 2014
Aug 21, 2014 at 2:13 AM UTC
Constent sound
That's all I hear bickering
They say it's not there
That I'm a white boy ther be nouthing wroung with me
They say all I seek Is atenten
That can't be it since I suffer in silence, cry alone, and to finely stifle the noise, I Speek allowed to them so at less one voice would exit the 9th layer of hell I call my mand
They will never see and I will never Speeking of the voices which drive my imaginations into contplations of zombie ends and thretical debates, that will shake your minds, hell it cripples mine, the constant debates of there's ******* my mind, so all I can do is stifle those two words that would not make a lick of a difference, for if I let them slip people will just look at me, and think I'm rebelling "o he's a white boy, he must think our talking is beneath him, he will never know true pain like us minorities"
Ye,ah That's me the majority seeking ********** of minority, causing hell since I never experience it. I am nouthing but an anarkish heaven that sees nouthing but the color of **** a complete pestmistick
They don't under stand; hell I don't understand my mind ether but to say I'm the majority, is dead wroung, what makes them minority, collor, religion, these I been taught means nouthing and nouthing they are Becuse there thoughts, their harts binds them to all races, not one thought or filling is independent to there race, these groing minority have sunken to the idea that they be the minority but no that is me, the one who can't sit in silence, with out rocking with pain, the words "shut up" forever on my lips dripping with mumbles of zombies and flames as high as buildings with me on top of the talist yelling I'm not insain I'm not insain I'm not insain Until finally I'm lost inside the flames.
And if they knew what hell was in my mind that would be worse, they will try to find the problem with scans and question. Did your dadie **** you? Is your brain ****** up? Why don't you just stop this shirade?
And when thier questions just lead me screem more at them than at my own head they try to fix me for now I'm a danger so they imprison me for something they coused.
So they put me on psycotic medison , and the voices they continue but easer to with stand. But I'm not me any more I'm different I loss so much but can't grasp what it is. They say I'm a success, and I agree because I want to leave. I don't tell them I still hear voices becuse I don't want them to sedate me agin. I don't tell them I've lost the intelligent young man I was or the insitefull guy that could help people with problems that he him self never had but they would not cair all they want is me to be like them because that all they wish to see.
As soon I'm out of the jail I ditch the mids and I return to my insainity. O how the voices seem to be louder as if they was ****** I locked them up..... But I'm me agin or am I them I just might be them but is that a problem i lie to my famly "yea I'm fine," " yea I took them last night," "I'm happy". They believe me not becuse they do but becuse they want to. They never saw a problem befor yea I was strange but functional but as soon as soon they heard I had a problem they jump on it for it means thay have not failed.
But they have not failed the doctors did they saw a man with a problem that need to be cured when there was only a man who had a problem that he needed to live with a problem that made him better and strange a problem that made him different.
With my problem out in the open I become better at hiding my pain until I get back to my to my apartment where I scream, cry and argue but never in that order. Nabbers never new I was different for I sound proof this place.
And that's how I lived, paying for pills I never used, never confinding in anyone for I feared of going back to jail, and I just knew if I ever got back on thouse meds that that when I get off the voices will drown me and I would not make it a night befor I just decided to end my abnormal life
Aug 21, 2014
Aug 21, 2014 at 2:10 AM UTC
The knife is over her wrist
Once agen
She chickened out
Nomoruse times before
"Life means as much as the person"
She whispers"and from what you say I mean less than
The food I eat" the cafeteria was watching this girl
Most had no idea who she was
No idea why tears dropped on her wrist
Only to be washed away by the crimson blood
Eyes flew to the boy that was standing
In paralyzed ****
A month ago he brag of getting into her pants
But he was not the first
Far from it
The few who knew her
Remembered how they call her a ***** and *****
On nothing more than the words of *** crazed boys
Who Say how they "taped that ****
And silence ended as the knife dropped to the ground
Along with the boy who tries to hold her up right
But it was over
The boy to confused to know to apply presser
The crowed in compleat anarchy
But none will forget her last words "I'm sorry"
She doesn't even get a dramatic rush from the ambulance.
And worst of all
none will forgive them self
that she died a ******
Aug 21, 2014
Aug 21, 2014 at 2:07 AM UTC
I have doubted religion for a long time,
All because of a question a man had asked me long ago
He was not a rich man nor a hatefull man
He did not seek to destroy all my belief
Just wanted to show me that my life was not complete
As it was
As it will be
His simple question was this,
"would you enjoy heaven if all of your loved ones
Went to hell."
Those thirteen words changed me from
Be good for goodness sake
To being good with out a reason
No need for a resin
The fact was I needed to live
As if there was no after life
Not so I wouldn't fear hell
But so I can live with love and hatred
So I can spend time with my loves as if we could be separated
So I could fear and care others saw me.
Those thirteen words allowed me out of a closet
With no worry of damnation
Only hope of forever love
One that can weave throw heaven and hell
If they so exist
So I can say I shall never be alone
Those thirteen words opened my eyes
To not just hopes and dreams of a religion
But what all people seek in a after life
Love
Love of a god
Love that shatters time and space
It's not just for me
All wish to find that love in flesh
No mater in a man,
Woman or just a companion
I will forever seek the same love
The bible teaches of
Sep 7, 2012
Sep 7, 2012 at 10:38 PM UTC
My heart consumes hate
Like a leaf consumes sun light
Just soaks it up
But to no end
The flow will be constent
And I with out it
I would be different
Not dead just hibernating
Untile that sun light strikes my leaf
I may not like this hate
But it's the only way I can find a way to live
Becuse with out that hate
My heart lives on my sleeve
With people ready to stab and slash
And so I alow my heart and hate
To enter a Symbiosis relation ship
Hate lives in my heart
And protects its beats
Aug 6, 2012
Aug 6, 2012 at 2:19 PM UTC
The simple fact of the world is that we don't need anyone
We are built to be self sufficient
We don't need others to breath
We don't need others to think
We don't need others to prosper, dominate,
You don't need school
You don't need pears
You don't need your parents
No mater your age
We are made so we don't need others to live,
But we are not made to change
In our own heads we can never sift our minds
Chang our ways manipulate the world
All we can be with out others is a neutral being
Not good or bad just is, not ever making an imprint
When you are maid to not need any one to live
And so you never try to connect to others
You failed your self
Yea you was self sufficient but at what cost
The world will be the same from your birth
To your death
And no one will know you ever lived
I was like that once never trusting in anyone
never wishing to confined in anyone
Just survive what evils the gods at be throws at me
I was not happy nor sad
But I did lose something quite important
That we are not born with
But gain from others love
A reason to live
That's what you lose when you chose to be
Independent
So yea we don't need any one to live
But We need some one to live for
So we can live forever
Jul 30, 2012
Jul 30, 2012 at 9:43 PM UTC
Deeply disturbed
That is what my life is
How I switch from obsessions
To obsessions
And so I fear this will be me
No mater how high my ladder will go up
I'd just come back down and start anew
That's me I geuse
For better or worse
But know this if nouthing else
You are not an obsession for me
That will end any time now
You are apart of me
For evermore
I will strees about you
How you seem to see all I hid
How you know who I am
No mater what is perceived
I will strees on the fact I can never say
How I feel
Unless I write
So take these word and keep them safe
Because are my forever obsession
Jul 13, 2012
Jul 13, 2012 at 7:01 PM UTC
Rain drips from my hands
Mixed with blood
The endless flood will hinder my plot
But still I smile
I know I'm doing wrong
As I step over the first body of the night
And I can't help my self from asking the obvious
"am I going to hell? Do I deserve nouthing else?"
It's to late though it has started
I raised my gun
And fire into a guy
No idea who he was
No mater
He was in the wroung place at the wroung dam time
His family will morn
But **** happens
If theirs a god he will repay the goon
And I shail be punished
So no point in stoping to wonder
As I'm opened fired on
I laughed a grenade be hind their cover
With the explosion all sound stopped
Besides the screams that shall haunt me to the grave
As I entered the last room my target looked at me
A kid of 10
Not much older than mine
I raised my gun and fired
Sealing both of our lives
One to hell
And one to heaven
Jun 24, 2012
Jun 24, 2012 at 8:04 PM UTC
i tell no lies (besides that one)
i mean no harm (if i can)
im not insane (the other voices are)
i fear no fear (loneliness is not a fear its dam reality)
and i dare say one day i will be great (dont ask me why)
my greatness will not be who i am (or what i ****
it will be what i changed (and the new reality i shifted)
Jun 10, 2012
Jun 10, 2012 at 11:45 PM UTC
Zombies they approach
to bad we can't be friends
This was my last thought
As I load my gun
This will be a blood bath
And I may never survive
I am the last, destined to die by hand I used to curest
I see her in the mob
Slowly approaching
Why rush I was doomed
I know it and so did they
I faught for 7 years
And this is my end
I am the last to see thair loved ones
I wounder how they will live with out me
I guess the same if I was the one that was victorious
**** this I yell"
as the zombies began to in case me
I was never the one who seeked the crowed
All wayse the loner
Dreaming for this day
Not hoping just knowing it will come to pass
My end will be beautiful
I cocked my gun
Knowing I wount need it but just liked the ilosen of my finally
Being of a gun fight,
We planed this
Me and the once people who surround me
All hopping it will never come
But non believed it was unnesary
They was in place
The shells all in place
I slipped the wire under my feat
And even though I could not see the liquid I know
It hit its home
Zombies cried in rage
Canines thrusted into the air
Trying to cut the air
And I laughted
****** was my favorite was my favorite wepen
I glanced above my head to see the net
Filed with liquid hell
It amused me that all the years I threaten to rain
Hell on my enimeyes
I get to do it
I hit the swich in my poket
I herd the flames hit the net
It will take 2 minutes for the flames
To meet the c4
But the zombies had a different plan
They rushed me
And all I did was take two steps backwards
And the mine wint of without a hitch
I lust a leg but that was enught distraction
C4 inighted and turned the night alive
I had made my last day of life
Hell
And I smile
The end is now
I closed my eyes
And waited
For my firy demise
To welcome me
Mar 30, 2012
Mar 30, 2012 at 6:22 PM UTC