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"gripped" poems
I never thought I would fall for you twice, but here I am writing this poem. I'm just a dandelion lost in this greenhouse surrounded by these blooming beauties. But hoping, hopefully you would make a wish out of me. You've got this look that makes me crave adventure. You've got mountains in your eyes and the northern wind in your soul. I can't remember the last thing you said to me and that's okay. We never talked much thanks to my anxiety. I'm not too far but my words have failed me so many moons how am I suppose to talk to you? You've got your future gripped tight by the wrist and my hands are lost in all this space. Maybe sometime in the years to come, I'll discover your footprints and remember my high school crush all over again. I'll stop and think if you're out in California making coffee for people, like I overheard you say you wanted to do in math class that one time, or strumming a guitar solo on stage somewhere in the city. I just hope wherever you find yourself in time to come you're happy and smiling brighter than the stars. I know not much will happen in these last eight months we have together, but I want to thank you for the day you introduced yourself to me because you knew no one else in the class. I know I'm just a dandelion in this great big greenhouse, but I'm just really happy that you noticed me.
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Oct 9, 2014
Oct 9, 2014 at 6:51 PM UTC
Dandelion
**** the twin-size mattress, that cheap indigo color. Where my best friend’s legs, her hands and knees, were entangled in struggle. **** his barbell body heavy and cold to the touch. She had been hunted   by someone that she trusted. **** the world that assumed   she was kissed. Not gripped, nor crushed under his pressing force. **** the cinder block walls   of that college dormitory, where she stared and refused to sleep in her own bed After that night. **** the catchy tune of breath rolling over teeth   that play in her head. **** her father. He would say he doesn’t approve of her ******* So, she chose to stay quiet. Forgettably quiet.
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Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018 at 2:09 AM UTC
Barbell *******
He loved her and she loved him His kisses ****** out her whole past and future or tried to He had no other appetite She bit him she gnawed him she ****** She wanted him complete inside her Safe and Sure forever and ever Their little cries fluttered into the curtains Her eyes wanted nothing to get away Her looks nailed down his hands his wrists his elbows He gripped her hard so that life Should not drag her from that moment He wanted all future to cease He wanted to topple with his arms round her Or everlasting or whatever there was Her embrace was an immense press To print him into her bones His smiles were the garrets of a fairy place Where the real world would never come Her smiles were spider bites So he would lie still till she felt hungry His word were occupying armies Her laughs were an assasin's attempts His looks were bullets daggers of revenge Her glances were ghosts in the corner with horrible secrets His whispers were whips and jackboots Her kisses were lawyers steadily writing His caresses were the last hooks of a castaway Her love-tricks were the grinding of locks And their deep cries crawled over the floors Like an animal dragging a great trap His promises were the surgeon's gag Her promises took the top off his skull She would get a brooch made of it His vows pulled out all her sinews He showed her how to make a love-knot At the back of her secret drawer Their screams stuck in the wall Their heads fell apart into sleep like the two halves Of a lopped melon, but love is hard to stop In their entwined sleep they exchanged arms and legs In their dreams their brains took each other hostage In the morning they wore each other's face
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17.6k
Lovesong
He loved her and she loved him His kisses ****** out her whole past and future or tried to He had no other appetite She bit him she gnawed him she ****** She wanted him complete inside her Safe and Sure forever and ever Their little cries fluttered into the curtains Her eyes wanted nothing to get away Her looks nailed down his hands his wrists his elbows He gripped her hard so that life Should not drag her from that moment He wanted all future to cease He wanted to topple with his arms round her Or everlasting or whatever there was Her embrace was an immense press To print him into her bones His smiles were the garrets of a fairy place Where the real world would never come Her smiles were spider bites So he would lie still till she felt hungry His word were occupying armies Her laughs were an assasin's attempts His looks were bullets daggers of revenge Her glances were ghosts in the corner with horrible secrets His whispers were whips and jackboots Her kisses were lawyers steadily writing His caresses were the last hooks of a castaway Her love-tricks were the grinding of locks And their deep cries crawled over the floors Like an animal dragging a great trap His promises were the surgeon's gag Her promises took the top off his skull She would get a brooch made of it His vows pulled out all her sinews He showed her how to make a love-knot At the back of her secret drawer Their screams stuck in the wall Their heads fell apart into sleep like the two halves Of a lopped melon, but love is hard to stop In their entwined sleep they exchanged arms and legs In their dreams their brains took each other hostage In the morning they wore each other's face
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42
for seven years i believed that i had no right to say that i had been abused because it wasn't physical, like my friend who was beat by her drunk father on a daily basis. my abuse was only on an emotional, psychological scale and while sometimes his hand slipped or gripped too tight on me, i honestly wouldn't count it as abuse. recently i began reading into this and while it's not as talked about as physical or ****** abuse it still counts and it carries over as children grow up from these experiences. even experiences that i didn't think counted as emotional abuse, from times when i was far younger than just a teenager. the abuse i've dealt with hasn't made me any stronger than i was, it's made me the exact opposite; instead of being the person i was before, bright and optimistic, i'm apologizing constantly for things i don't need to and second guessing myself and others intentions. constantly i wonder if i'm bothering someone, am i being too much of myself? am i allowed to speak? does my opinion matter? is it all right to assert myself? after being told for three years that i don't matter, and there is no point of me for existing and that it's no wonder i don't have any friends, i'm trying to break myself out of the box i've placed myself in and it's so **** hard.
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Oct 23, 2014
Oct 23, 2014 at 2:17 AM UTC
adult children of abusive parents
She introduced herself, as Sunset. Batted her lashes not to be flirtatious , But to hide that her eyes were wet. All around me were blurred, but beautiful faces. Yet, my eyes only focused on hers The first that I noticed. *When I bought my first camera, From that sales-man down in Alabama. And he taught me how to use it, He said, "see here son, if I was to take your picture I'd set this camera here on portrait. But if I took a picture of that pretty little girl 'cross the road" he said with a smirk "I'd have to set this here camera on Firework"* It's funny how memories work. I think of that man now, of his coffee colored skin and straw hat. I never thought I'd need to know any of that. but right here and now I set that camera to sunset. raise it to my eye And take a picture of Sunset. As if she were a colorful sky. and that's it. some people deserve more than a portrait. And I know, I'm going to take her to a dark room. And see what develops, of her negatives. But first, I want to hear all about her crazy relatives. Who gives her, her beauty? where's she take her dog to groom? The poodle on her leash is a cutie. and what does she doodle on her notebooks? stars or hearts or sugar skulls.... Does she know she's caught me on her fishin' hook? What's she think of me, I'm sure I look dull. Why are her teary eyes so full, About to overflow. There were so many things I wanted to know.... before I took her to a dark room. But it happened And all I found in the picture that developed was gloom. I realized I was her first. And the best night of my life became my worst. because I took something from her she didn't want to give. But I just didn't know that she wouldn't want to live. Keep reading, this ends beautifully. beautifully like a sunset ends a day. But, you have to believe me when I say that's not nearly as beautifully As Sunset ends my hopes and dreams. How she ended her own life With pretty little pink pills. One....Two....Three gripped in her hand they found a picture of me. And now I know, Sunsets are all about Beautiful Endings. It's funny how memories work © copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
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Aug 21, 2014
Aug 21, 2014 at 9:16 PM UTC
Sunset
She introduced herself, as Sunset. Batted her lashes not to be flirtatious , But to hide that her eyes were wet. All around me were blurred, but beautiful faces. Yet, my eyes only focused on hers The first that I noticed. *When I bought my first camera, From that sales-man down in Alabama. And he taught me how to use it, He said, "see here son, if I was to take your picture I'd set this camera here on portrait. But if I took a picture of that pretty little girl 'cross the road" he said with a smirk "I'd have to set this here camera on Firework"* It's funny how memories work. I think of that man now, of his coffee colored skin and straw hat. I never thought I'd need to know any of that. but right here and now I set that camera to sunset. raise it to my eye And take a picture of Sunset. As if she were a colorful sky. and that's it. some people deserve more than a portrait. And I know, I'm going to take her to a dark room. And see what develops, of her negatives. But first, I want to hear all about her crazy relatives. Who gives her, her beauty? where's she take her dog to groom? The poodle on her leash is a cutie. and what does she doodle on her notebooks? stars or hearts or sugar skulls.... Does she know she's caught me on her fishin' hook? What's she think of me, I'm sure I look dull. Why are her teary eyes so full, About to overflow. There were so many things I wanted to know.... before I took her to a dark room. But it happened And all I found in the picture that developed was gloom. I realized I was her first. And the best night of my life became my worst. because I took something from her she didn't want to give. But I just didn't know that she wouldn't want to live. Keep reading, this ends beautifully. beautifully like a sunset ends a day. But, you have to believe me when I say that's not nearly as beautifully As Sunset ends my hopes and dreams. How she ended her own life With pretty little pink pills. One....Two....Three gripped in her hand they found a picture of me. And now I know, Sunsets are all about Beautiful Endings. It's funny how memories work © copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn
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54
Dear God, whoever, whatever, wherever you are- can you see me? Can you see the terror in my eyes? This day I wakened gripped in fear. Can you see me behind the lies? False is my smile, real is my tear That trails my cheek the stain remains The mask each day I don at morn No soul beholds the blinding pain For not shall I allow one's scorn Dear God can you hear me? My screams are stifled by the sound Of winds I turn to carry me Away from dismal strife abound I turn my back one step to flee When I speak, my voice not mine Tis what you wish that you will hear That life is good and all is fine Expression when my soul can't bear Soliloquy for me alone With words that bring me to my knees I shake with chill deep to the bone Despair I pray that no one sees Dear God, can you feel me? I know my heart beats within Yet how I wish that it would cease Perhaps no longer that I shall sin And finally gain a sense of peace I wish to hate you for you have made me Look how I've grown with this weak shell Assembled pieces faithlessly The cracks run deep, dear God, pray tell Can you see my tears and hear my cries? Or feel the knife plunged deep within My heart, my soul, my mind defies Hope, joy, and love, my harshest sin Are you there, my God, or no! Why have you made me thus? Alas, no one shall know my woe To will my body back to dust Tis all my own, this place I made No one to blame only myself Goodbye, farewell and so I bade Sorrow, oh flame! My life engulf!
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Nov 15, 2012
Nov 15, 2012 at 11:41 AM UTC
Dear God
Ye won't comprehend what I mean Unless acquire the eyes to have seen Emotions by their true image Do you know what I mean? Once harnessed power to play with emotions Impossible seems revival, work no potions When crawl back half alive Anaesthetised images, walking drunk motions That deep sorrow, sadness and pain The efforts and struggles all in vain Isn't what you cry for and say? Ask thyself, Who drove you into that lane Pitch dark corners of thoughts arouse the feel Four stanzas including this one's just half meal Clouds of this kind circle forever Pressing the haunting words, in time I'll heal -------- <***> Presence of happiness none sees, a pity As we surmise, there does exist a Deity For a reason, all this emerged In everything, there might be something pretty <*> Once gripped that strange feel in the prayers Shall form over body, invisible protective layers Addition in tons, not kilos Of sagacity, on each climb of the stairs <> Life devoid of expectations isn't the option The mindset's worthy enough for adoption Great expectations pave dirtiest of roads Too precious to be displayed up for auction <**> On Him can we lean and must firmly believe Direct contact's the medicine for mind's relief Affordable yet unaffordable jewels await For the closest beings in His regard to receive F.A teeri
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Oct 17, 2017
Oct 17, 2017 at 2:32 PM UTC
'Harnessing Emotions'
Like a beggar feeling for gold in the dark I mosey in the shadows searching for the scent of bliss Blind to everything but my own thought I skirt the edge of light and dark A stuttering heartbeat I rest upon a sturdy form and begin to flutter Slowly I come away from my stupor and tilt my head Upward Illuminated by a golden sphere A moth grasping at God Gripped in the glow I am light Reflecting unto faded stars We Inanimate forms buzzing along to the Dull hum of the universe.
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Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 5:05 AM UTC
My streetlight manifesto
His strong hands gripped me everywhere, he knew my sensitive places. My eyes shone due to my intense obedience and humiliation. I started to perspire in an excitable way. My legs began to shake. I could feel his affection through his endless kiss. I felt intimidated. He loved me. I can still feel his indomitable hands around me, he knows my vulnerable spots. My eyes glisten from my potent passiveness and embarrassment. I break out in nervous sweats. My legs are trembling. I can feel his devotion in an infinite smack. I feel terrorized. He's attached to me.
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Jun 3, 2016
Jun 3, 2016 at 6:15 PM UTC
Sickening Synonyms That Should Be Antonyms (will be deleted)
Thankyou to the harsh stomach wrenching words Thankyou for the touch that gripped and hit Thankyou for the pain that came to rip Thankyou for the turning away Thankyou for leaving me alone to shake and tremble to turn to pray Thankyou for the comments to change For all this - never be the same It makes you stronger with each blow Some may never leave, you know But after it all you learn to breathe even if you feel like you're drowning
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Jul 12, 2017
Jul 12, 2017 at 12:28 PM UTC
Take the pounding
Twelve o’clock. Along the reaches of the street Held in a lunar synthesis, Whispering lunar incantations Dissolve the floors of memory And all its clear relations, Its divisions and precisions, Every street lamp that I pass Beats like a fatalistic drum, And through the spaces of the dark Midnight shakes the memory As a madman shakes a dead geranium. Half-past one, The street lamp sputtered, The street lamp muttered, The street lamp said, ‘Regard that woman Who hesitates towards you in the light of the door Which opens on her like a grin. You see the border of her dress Is torn and stained with sand, And you see the corner of her eye Twists like a crooked pin.’ The memory throws up high and dry A crowd of twisted things; A twisted branch upon the beach Eaten smooth, and polished As if the world gave up The secret of its skeleton, Stiff and white. A broken spring in a factory yard, Rust that clings to the form that the strength has left Hard and curled and ready to snap. Half-past two, The street lamp said, ‘Remark the cat which flattens itself in the gutter, Slips out its tongue And devours a morsel of rancid butter.’ So the hand of a child, automatic, Slipped out and pocketed a toy that was running along the quay. I could see nothing behind that child’s eye. I have seen eyes in the street Trying to peer through lighted shutters, And a crab one afternoon in a pool, An old crab with barnacles on his back, Gripped the end of a stick which I held him. Half-past three, The lamp sputtered, The lamp muttered in the dark. The lamp hummed: ‘Regard the moon, La lune ne garde aucune rancune, She winks a feeble eye, She smiles into corners. She smoothes the hair of the grass. The moon has lost her memory. A washed-out smallpox cracks her face, Her hand twists a paper rose, That smells of dust and old Cologne, She is alone With all the old nocturnal smells That cross and cross across her brain.’ The reminiscence comes Of sunless dry geraniums And dust in crevices, Smells of chestnuts in the streets, And female smells in shuttered rooms, And cigarettes in corridors And cocktail smells in bars.’ The lamp said, ‘Four o’clock, Here is the number on the door. Memory! You have the key, The little lamp spreads a ring on the stair, Mount. The bed is open; the tooth-brush hangs on the wall, Put your shoes at the door, sleep, prepare for life.’ The last twist of the knife.
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8.2k
Rhapsody On A Windy Night
Twelve o’clock. Along the reaches of the street Held in a lunar synthesis, Whispering lunar incantations Dissolve the floors of memory And all its clear relations, Its divisions and precisions, Every street lamp that I pass Beats like a fatalistic drum, And through the spaces of the dark Midnight shakes the memory As a madman shakes a dead geranium. Half-past one, The street lamp sputtered, The street lamp muttered, The street lamp said, ‘Regard that woman Who hesitates towards you in the light of the door Which opens on her like a grin. You see the border of her dress Is torn and stained with sand, And you see the corner of her eye Twists like a crooked pin.’ The memory throws up high and dry A crowd of twisted things; A twisted branch upon the beach Eaten smooth, and polished As if the world gave up The secret of its skeleton, Stiff and white. A broken spring in a factory yard, Rust that clings to the form that the strength has left Hard and curled and ready to snap. Half-past two, The street lamp said, ‘Remark the cat which flattens itself in the gutter, Slips out its tongue And devours a morsel of rancid butter.’ So the hand of a child, automatic, Slipped out and pocketed a toy that was running along the quay. I could see nothing behind that child’s eye. I have seen eyes in the street Trying to peer through lighted shutters, And a crab one afternoon in a pool, An old crab with barnacles on his back, Gripped the end of a stick which I held him. Half-past three, The lamp sputtered, The lamp muttered in the dark. The lamp hummed: ‘Regard the moon, La lune ne garde aucune rancune, She winks a feeble eye, She smiles into corners. She smoothes the hair of the grass. The moon has lost her memory. A washed-out smallpox cracks her face, Her hand twists a paper rose, That smells of dust and old Cologne, She is alone With all the old nocturnal smells That cross and cross across her brain.’ The reminiscence comes Of sunless dry geraniums And dust in crevices, Smells of chestnuts in the streets, And female smells in shuttered rooms, And cigarettes in corridors And cocktail smells in bars.’ The lamp said, ‘Four o’clock, Here is the number on the door. Memory! You have the key, The little lamp spreads a ring on the stair, Mount. The bed is open; the tooth-brush hangs on the wall, Put your shoes at the door, sleep, prepare for life.’ The last twist of the knife.
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78
A flight of three crows added to a dense grey day Next add four iconic conifers as high as the sky eternally ******* down These things are always in my sight through my window on this wet world Multiply all of this by a sweet daughter who makes me proud and raise the whole to the power of a strong woman who carries us all on her back The equation produces a result that I am 95 percent certain equals happiness though the confidence interval is wide And this result sweet as it is and as uncertain as it is will outlive me leave a faint echo in time an echo that will bounce off a star and finally be found gripped in my shriveled paw long after the epiphany nowhere near paradise somewhere short of the end of the line This is a moment of happiness stolen from time hijacked by a fugitive from civil society I'll hold it close until death pries it without mercy from my hand Leaves it as a blessing and a curse for all who come after Take the blessing. Leave the curse. That's the advice I give with my dying breath. And I leave this to you from the generosity of my heart. With a nod to the scant traces of God's grace that I find on these pathways of travail. Never lost. Never found. Always present and generous to all. Be that.
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Nov 19, 2016
Nov 19, 2016 at 6:01 PM UTC
The Arithmetic of Happiness
Frozen in the darkness silence peacefully shrouds me hoping that I am breathless, praying he wont see, this sublime sorrow I am gasping in the pain swallowing bitter tears seconds from insane. Defining the emotion each and every time trying not to echo, balancing on the line, silence is a killer but not my reason to die hearing in this deafness will always make me cry. The shadows over take me, speak the unspoken curse just as well I am dying can't bear to smell this hearse. Weighed down by lost tomorrows my memory finally broke, why is it always my own hands gripped to make me choke? His hug comforts my stomach blindly in his sleep not knowing in this darkness my eyes can't help but weep, obscurity plays around me tries to steal my breath every time I close my eyes I know I’m close to death. Panic underestimates the power the black withholds carving me so gently, painless as it moulds I sweat out my reaction cause words can't find a voice, helplessly devoted to lay I have no choice. Everything suffocates can't bear to close my eyes repeated optimism as I see how everyone dies, my mind is there to haunt me it never gives me peace all the pills digested at will, still wont make it cease. Night is a blur now confused by chemical reaction convulsions rage as death excels performing its extraction, in the mix I see his face traumatised by my choice, it's made but time has gone his actions futile as sight begins to fade, regret stabs flesh repentantly too late to change effect I know he’ll cry forever at his failure to correct. My selfish, vengeful actions will speak louder than my word he never seen the suicide…do you think he finally heard?
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Aug 8, 2010
Aug 8, 2010 at 7:07 AM UTC
Doctors Permission
Frozen in the darkness silence peacefully shrouds me hoping that I am breathless, praying he wont see, this sublime sorrow I am gasping in the pain swallowing bitter tears seconds from insane. Defining the emotion each and every time trying not to echo, balancing on the line, silence is a killer but not my reason to die hearing in this deafness will always make me cry. The shadows over take me, speak the unspoken curse just as well I am dying can't bear to smell this hearse. Weighed down by lost tomorrows my memory finally broke, why is it always my own hands gripped to make me choke? His hug comforts my stomach blindly in his sleep not knowing in this darkness my eyes can't help but weep, obscurity plays around me tries to steal my breath every time I close my eyes I know I’m close to death. Panic underestimates the power the black withholds carving me so gently, painless as it moulds I sweat out my reaction cause words can't find a voice, helplessly devoted to lay I have no choice. Everything suffocates can't bear to close my eyes repeated optimism as I see how everyone dies, my mind is there to haunt me it never gives me peace all the pills digested at will, still wont make it cease. Night is a blur now confused by chemical reaction convulsions rage as death excels performing its extraction, in the mix I see his face traumatised by my choice, it's made but time has gone his actions futile as sight begins to fade, regret stabs flesh repentantly too late to change effect I know he’ll cry forever at his failure to correct. My selfish, vengeful actions will speak louder than my word he never seen the suicide…do you think he finally heard?
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32
Fill the hollow crevice of my existence With light, show me a warmer way Stop numbness from taking over I am slipping further0 into dismay. Down the senseless pit of despair My direction is out of control Darkness paralyzes my mind Strangling thoughts that crawl and roll Constricting my body until I give up I kick the air but cannot land a blow The empty space will never stop resisting The sound of my own scream has become my foe. The endless void swallows my voice Here the tears I cry fall forever The lies I have told mean nothing now I knew my will was always meant to sever. Faced with nothingness all around This is my life; a big black hole It's slowly shoving me outwards Little by little, pain taking over my soul. Chaos has reality gripped In a tight but unsure grasp Confusing the mass of color And motion contained in its clasp Bullied by the tidal wave of isolation Head above water though it is strong Giving up the ability to move Surviving by the current floating me along. My consciousness is traveling lethargically I no longer feel my torso or limbs Attempt to wiggle a finger but it won't budge It takes all my strength to speak and part dry lips. This is where existence ceases Where time's beginning meets its end An unending loop of monotonous emotions displayed A breif instant in which Eternity life does suspend
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Mar 28, 2018
Mar 28, 2018 at 6:35 PM UTC
Fill Me Up
Lurking in the shadows Street lights not touching your face Hood up Knife gripped tight As you stalk her every move Like a snake Slithering into position Coiled and ready to strike Aiming for the purse Willing to take more You stalked her for weeks Watching her walk Her daily routine Learning how many steps She makes a day As your moment draws near Adrenaline rushing Stalking her for this moment To **** and **** her Just because she broke your heart You creep closer Closer and closer Not wanting to do this But if you can't have her No one shall
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Dec 5, 2012
Dec 5, 2012 at 8:49 PM UTC
Stalker
Diner Hidden In a cloud of Blue nicotine Sits near Our home Serving up grease Burgers and fries To men Women Gripped by broken hearts Bad luck And rain The cook, waiters, Stare at the food Mad eyes Wishing For some change that Will never come Through those Yellow Doors the newly Dead men, women, Walk in Ready To order fries And burgers, shakes, Diner Opened Forever so Take your good time
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Aug 14, 2013
Aug 14, 2013 at 12:06 AM UTC
Burgers, Fries, Shakes at Neon Diner
Grodey gassy bubble flow Up to the surface, now it is known That here did relinquish fish A gripping odor Atlantic I sniff'ed the breathe of that pungent fish *** I chok'ed and gripped for the head of the mast But when it came too far in I couldn't have last Expired by breathe of that frightful fish gas
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Aug 25, 2011
Aug 25, 2011 at 8:40 PM UTC
Fish ****
Dusk. I won't paint you another sunset, another beautiful striped sea; no, not today. Picture instead a smooth discolored surface on which a firmly gripped stone was roughly ground, causing a painful chalky screech; the misemployed rock left vague yellow scars and lavender bruises on the horizon; the sun cowers behind them fearfully, distraught by the undue violence; this is the sunset I experienced at your fragrant side, and wondered - not unlike that astre - what could possibly justify the yellow, spectral scars in my heart, the bright, undue violence brought upon my pride, and the slighted sunset in my soul. This is Dusk.
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May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 9:05 PM UTC
Sonnet at Dusk
My mother's breath is tainted with alcohol She's on my floor, sleeping away the dinner she refused to swallow I try to forget she was never there, and remember how hollow Her skinny love for me was, and I ate my way into her Hell The first cigarette, the first drink, the first time I forgot to think I was induced in her fairy tale, my morals wothout ink, to go on I tried to slip away, grasp a hint of bliss I did catch something, and that was a fish Her name was Autumn Her hands on my shoulders, mine on her hips We were one glance away, and this time, it hit An anchor she was, I left my dreaded life behind I took her calloused hand, and she took mine Our pasts weren't us, they were our luggage We dropped it off far back, buried it, covered it A pair of suicidal lovers, a kiss above the chin I was pulled on a thread Seven months of lies She was a chameleon No painful past of cries She wasn't molested Her mom wasn't at the end of the line Her dad didn't abuse her Now wasn't her time She left me longing for another Another Autumn, another lover I didn't love her, I loved who I thought she was I know I will see her again, when the leaves are dust She is so sorry Sorry I'm sad She got to live the life The life I never had I yearn to forget the name of Autumn Until the season leaves, fall from the pealing trees I will lie in the lies of the baked brown leaves Crumple them one by one, calming myself, forming ease Chills form around my neck The same spot my mother gripped my throat It is so hard to love someone, who despises being loved My mother, a liar, a man sitting above
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Jul 18, 2014
Jul 18, 2014 at 4:23 AM UTC
Living Lies
My mother's breath is tainted with alcohol She's on my floor, sleeping away the dinner she refused to swallow I try to forget she was never there, and remember how hollow Her skinny love for me was, and I ate my way into her Hell The first cigarette, the first drink, the first time I forgot to think I was induced in her fairy tale, my morals wothout ink, to go on I tried to slip away, grasp a hint of bliss I did catch something, and that was a fish Her name was Autumn Her hands on my shoulders, mine on her hips We were one glance away, and this time, it hit An anchor she was, I left my dreaded life behind I took her calloused hand, and she took mine Our pasts weren't us, they were our luggage We dropped it off far back, buried it, covered it A pair of suicidal lovers, a kiss above the chin I was pulled on a thread Seven months of lies She was a chameleon No painful past of cries She wasn't molested Her mom wasn't at the end of the line Her dad didn't abuse her Now wasn't her time She left me longing for another Another Autumn, another lover I didn't love her, I loved who I thought she was I know I will see her again, when the leaves are dust She is so sorry Sorry I'm sad She got to live the life The life I never had I yearn to forget the name of Autumn Until the season leaves, fall from the pealing trees I will lie in the lies of the baked brown leaves Crumple them one by one, calming myself, forming ease Chills form around my neck The same spot my mother gripped my throat It is so hard to love someone, who despises being loved My mother, a liar, a man sitting above
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40
A thousand nights ago, a little girl lay writhing in pain As drops of saltwater soaked the crimson-stained sheets Cries for help were silenced by the same ravishing hands that gripped her,as the man consumed her whole Her light was fading out,her hands stretched out towards a silhouette She was pleading, She was praying That the figure take a step forward,vanish the demon-man with her supposed light But the woman in the shadows did nothing She stood there cold as before She did not flinch nor expressed anything in her distant eyes She did not even claim the little girl after She left her underneath the darkness as the little girl died a million deaths It has been a long three years now and the little girl has grown And she feels all wrong Like she is too much Like she is never enough Because they took everything that she was You have cursed her with the belief that she can only attain love and enlightenment through another You have infected her with hate, now she craves the feel of the cold blade on her skin Her lips have grown fond of the taste of the poison And she constantly needs pain to numb the ache of emptiness This is not like those other ******* apologies because she is tired of apologizing for existing When you never apologized for the things that you allowed to happen Nor is this her playing the victim card and blaming you This exists to tell you that She is sinking The void is gaping She is losing And she is sorry for not being able to **** it up" Because when little girls bleed,they cry And what they need is a mother's caress to help heal the wounds Because when little girls get victimized,they feel pain And what they need is a mother to protect them and dry their tears But you don't know that and she is sorry She is sorry that you never lived up to your title She is so ******* sorry Mom –W.
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Mar 21, 2017
Mar 21, 2017 at 10:34 AM UTC
black,red and blue
A thousand nights ago, a little girl lay writhing in pain As drops of saltwater soaked the crimson-stained sheets Cries for help were silenced by the same ravishing hands that gripped her,as the man consumed her whole Her light was fading out,her hands stretched out towards a silhouette She was pleading, She was praying That the figure take a step forward,vanish the demon-man with her supposed light But the woman in the shadows did nothing She stood there cold as before She did not flinch nor expressed anything in her distant eyes She did not even claim the little girl after She left her underneath the darkness as the little girl died a million deaths It has been a long three years now and the little girl has grown And she feels all wrong Like she is too much Like she is never enough Because they took everything that she was You have cursed her with the belief that she can only attain love and enlightenment through another You have infected her with hate, now she craves the feel of the cold blade on her skin Her lips have grown fond of the taste of the poison And she constantly needs pain to numb the ache of emptiness This is not like those other ******* apologies because she is tired of apologizing for existing When you never apologized for the things that you allowed to happen Nor is this her playing the victim card and blaming you This exists to tell you that She is sinking The void is gaping She is losing And she is sorry for not being able to **** it up" Because when little girls bleed,they cry And what they need is a mother's caress to help heal the wounds Because when little girls get victimized,they feel pain And what they need is a mother to protect them and dry their tears But you don't know that and she is sorry She is sorry that you never lived up to your title She is so ******* sorry Mom –W.
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38
This is what she looks like when she's sad: The human condition effective immediately. Winter shades shift side to side, exploding out of each iris. Skin falling off, when lunging forward to kiss me. Fingernail daggers dig into my pores. I'll bleed under her fingernails, if she'll drag them down my torso until her knees click the floor. This is her tongue inside of my mouth: We taste each other before we waste each other. Hip bones parallel and our eyes rubbing shoulders, my hands surfing her rib cage and it's all the rage because she moans. And when she moans, color tones orbit around her head. Planetary tumors dancing around her skull; jump roping with her hair, eating morals and removing plurals. Those are her lips around me. Her head moves up and down but her eyes focus on me. She makes eye contact and I empty my dreams into her mouth. We are a public forum. I ache with alcohol poisoning and liberal undertones. The terrain that is my face bleeds oils that would lubricate the axle of the car that she drove into the tree that we carved our name into. Come back to me. I miss you so much. I watched you die. I watched you die and there was nothing I could do. They told me that she wouldn't make it. They told me that she might make it. My hand gripped at blood stained blanket. I think she said my name under the air mask. I could tell if she saw me; her eyes rolled back into her head after she gazed a thousand yards away into the field of black that sheltered the tall grass that we would chase each other through and get lost in as we got lost in each other. I love you! I ******* love you! My back, a membrane coil that rises my stiff neck that cares my head full of memories. I turn on the light and you're not there next to me. I put my hand on your copy of The Thornbirds and know that you've read it more than the notes I leave in your inbox, hoping that it'll say that you have seen it. Walking to your grave, I am a darkness that the abyss has swallowed and I have followed myself into nothingness that is such bliss that I forget your kiss.
0
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 31, 2014 at 1:01 PM UTC
******** and Car Crashes ******* in a mouth)
This is what she looks like when she's sad: The human condition effective immediately. Winter shades shift side to side, exploding out of each iris. Skin falling off, when lunging forward to kiss me. Fingernail daggers dig into my pores. I'll bleed under her fingernails, if she'll drag them down my torso until her knees click the floor. This is her tongue inside of my mouth: We taste each other before we waste each other. Hip bones parallel and our eyes rubbing shoulders, my hands surfing her rib cage and it's all the rage because she moans. And when she moans, color tones orbit around her head. Planetary tumors dancing around her skull; jump roping with her hair, eating morals and removing plurals. Those are her lips around me. Her head moves up and down but her eyes focus on me. She makes eye contact and I empty my dreams into her mouth. We are a public forum. I ache with alcohol poisoning and liberal undertones. The terrain that is my face bleeds oils that would lubricate the axle of the car that she drove into the tree that we carved our name into. Come back to me. I miss you so much. I watched you die. I watched you die and there was nothing I could do. They told me that she wouldn't make it. They told me that she might make it. My hand gripped at blood stained blanket. I think she said my name under the air mask. I could tell if she saw me; her eyes rolled back into her head after she gazed a thousand yards away into the field of black that sheltered the tall grass that we would chase each other through and get lost in as we got lost in each other. I love you! I ******* love you! My back, a membrane coil that rises my stiff neck that cares my head full of memories. I turn on the light and you're not there next to me. I put my hand on your copy of The Thornbirds and know that you've read it more than the notes I leave in your inbox, hoping that it'll say that you have seen it. Walking to your grave, I am a darkness that the abyss has swallowed and I have followed myself into nothingness that is such bliss that I forget your kiss.
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66
She sat by me, in her skirt, hand grenade green, And an off-white blouse obscured by a jacket with dust in its seams, Like leather, like elderly skin, like a crossword puzzle with half the letters filled in, She sat by me and spilt her sentences and her tea: She claimed her husband had been killed by a cabal of spiritualists, Killed by a bull elephant in the streets of Nepal, Killed by the seven plagues, And never killed at all, That he was once a number Somehow both perfect and prime, That he was Prime minister of the sea, And independent of time, That his bones were cracked marbles Bought from a widow in Tennessee, That his name continued to escape her, But that he looked something like me, Leaving I saw her wings drag her heavenward, I saw her terrible wings, As I stumbled and veered from concrete to tarmac I heard the pavements start to sing: “I was once a flowerbed, My father was a field, My mother was a source of light, Before which all the people kneeled.” Then lost in the eye of daytime and night, Drawn to the moustache of a Spanish racketeer, He was once abandoned by his books and his babies In the boot of a broke-down cavalier, His pasts and ideas caught up to him, And gripped him by his belt and his teeth, His pasts gripped him in quiet of his nightmares, And slashed his arms in the street, Visions shook me by the bleeding palm, Her terrible wings now pinpricks for the moon, Visions shook me as deities died, With eyes like a card-trick and fingers like doom, Then stuck in the endless space between words; She sat by me, in her skirt, hand grenade green; Stuck in the endless space between words; And an off white blouse obscured by a jacket with dust in its seams...
0
Mar 11, 2018
Mar 11, 2018 at 9:11 PM UTC
Pinpricks for the Moon
She sat by me, in her skirt, hand grenade green, And an off-white blouse obscured by a jacket with dust in its seams, Like leather, like elderly skin, like a crossword puzzle with half the letters filled in, She sat by me and spilt her sentences and her tea: She claimed her husband had been killed by a cabal of spiritualists, Killed by a bull elephant in the streets of Nepal, Killed by the seven plagues, And never killed at all, That he was once a number Somehow both perfect and prime, That he was Prime minister of the sea, And independent of time, That his bones were cracked marbles Bought from a widow in Tennessee, That his name continued to escape her, But that he looked something like me, Leaving I saw her wings drag her heavenward, I saw her terrible wings, As I stumbled and veered from concrete to tarmac I heard the pavements start to sing: “I was once a flowerbed, My father was a field, My mother was a source of light, Before which all the people kneeled.” Then lost in the eye of daytime and night, Drawn to the moustache of a Spanish racketeer, He was once abandoned by his books and his babies In the boot of a broke-down cavalier, His pasts and ideas caught up to him, And gripped him by his belt and his teeth, His pasts gripped him in quiet of his nightmares, And slashed his arms in the street, Visions shook me by the bleeding palm, Her terrible wings now pinpricks for the moon, Visions shook me as deities died, With eyes like a card-trick and fingers like doom, Then stuck in the endless space between words; She sat by me, in her skirt, hand grenade green; Stuck in the endless space between words; And an off white blouse obscured by a jacket with dust in its seams...
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40