She?
She is a dark skinned girl
With smile as bright as the sun,
With a tender heart that cries for the pain of her friend.

She?
She is just an another girl whom you see in the neighbour,
And to fullfil her dreams she do all the labour.

She?
She is a dark skinned girl
Who wears her confidence in the crowd,
She is intelligent but she
Doesn't cry out loud.

She?
She is a girl who wears those normal spectacles,
And there is no problem that she can't tackle.

She?
She has a lot of stories
That I like to here,
And maybe I would listen to her secrets that she doesn't even share.

She?
She smiles her brightest when she teaches something or when she is telling a funny story.

She?
She is a dark skinned girl
With a soul that I believe is pure,
Who never wish bad for anyone, that i am sure.

She?
She is a girl,
Beautiful and sweet
And I am really happy
That destiny planned our meet.

She?
She is a girl who do not blindly follow the trend
And that beautiful girl,
That girl is my friend.

& the world will become together
as we get together & become a nation.
war & poverty will be filled
with wars of happiness & rich of love.
peace will be eased in everyone's soul
& the demon will let us rest.
we all will be sharing
happiness of & wonderful thoughts;
even more when i look into your eyes
& finally see you pleased
that's when i'm okay.
nothing breaks nothing
& every thing reaches everything
as the death sleeps
like i sleep in your arms.
this world would not be as damaged as before
but as helpful & care enough as tomorrow
with childhood memories in the air
as i smoke your soul
& fullfil my life with what's in it.
the left overs are for the loners
to become -in & pleased
as i stare into the night
admiring nothing but feeling everything.
the scars that once controlled me
& the insecurities that once seized me
are now nothing but dust in the past.
& what if i wasn't smoking here,
but with a knife instead?
would i become an angel?
with all these wonders
nobody wants to miss a thing.
maybe you don't understand me
or this long & messy poem
but there's one thing i want you to know:
nothing feels better than being able to write
& express one's self in a way
no one understands but me.

You drained me out of words
when you show me your world
fantasy full of lies
beneath the dark dark skies.

I was speechless,
motionless,
witless, powerless
to act on impulse
no less.

The culmination of our meeting
lead me into thinking
I am no scatter-brain
to be used for your pain.

Yet something told me
ominous as a dark cloud can be
you are not who you are
a dream, you so callously portrayed to me.

You are a wolf you say
howling, hunting for a prey
in my dreamless sleep you came
bare of everything;
armed with burning desire to fullfil the beast that you became.

You touched me like hell
I was like a wrecking belle
repulsing every movement you take
stopping every attempt you make.

Go away, don't disturb me and my peaceful sleep
go back to God-knows where you came so deep
don' t drag me to your so- called world, sicko-wacko
You're a man not a wolf you know.

Swallow your own thirst
engulf by your own dark mist
drown in your own sorrow
because now I blocked you
to leave me in peace and a better tomorrow.

Each and every person who was born and descended into this world,
was raised by presumably different kinds of sentimental treatments and served by disparate acknowledgement of love.

A baby comes out of the womb not knowing anything at all.
How a human was treated in the times of past, what he has witnessed, and what he felt deeply -  matters in times of present.
It was almost too difficult for some people to be considered worthy and quite deserving of love
Perhaps the insecurities were total agony
But if it were agony
Why do they feel it all the time?

I suppose there are people in the world who were taught the importance of affection
And what to do about loving another
and how to construct love to be real
And there are people in the world who weren’t
There are people who are doubtless convinced about what to make of loving a person
And there are people who do not know what to do with it

Many times I lost sleep to thinking,
What do I have to give, to make a person believe the love that I have?
What quality do I have as an individual to be seen beautiful and content, therefore I can fullfil another?
Do I have the tenderness that I never witness from the way my parents loved each other?
Do I have the patience that my mother was less likely to possess?
Do I have the humane, gentle, practices of love that I never had to see?
If I don’t, would it be easy for me to present my love completely?
Do I really need to demonstrate the way I feel about a person, so that I can be trusted?

The answer is, I believe I have what it takes to love and be loved, whether I have or have not witness the act of great love in my past.

I have ears to listen to whatever uttered by another;
To listen to raspy voice in the morning,
and to weary voice at night
To the sound of whirring spoon in the thick of milk and coffee,
and to the sound of, sometimes, slashes and beatings against the door
To hear what sort of sound do kisses make
and what sort of pain does shouting bring
To recognize the noise of a cheerful laughter
and the tone of mourning weeps
And I have eyes not for looking,
but for paying attention
to every details of such vulnerability that perhaps I cannot fix

Though I do not have the divine nature or impeccable qualities of being a decent partner,
My difficulty and persistence in loving
is why I consider myself as genuine within reason

When I love,
I love with my soul
and give with my soul by all means
I hope my tendencies of being humanely difficult
and my willingness to offer mildly inconsiderable pieces of myself
will be enough to make love lasts for once

Its undescribable, hard to grasp a hold of

The force pulls me in, captivating my heart and soul

I lose control, my world is spinning

Rotating, as we play and switch our different roles

My breath is oblivious, as you softly whisper in my ears "I will never let you go"

We lie on a pile of roses, the petals fly high as we land

I fall in your arms

My security, my everything

My heart is pounding harder

As you glide your hand up and down my side

Affection I haven't felt in a while, only wishing we could freeze time

Sympathetic as we glance through each other's eyes

Everything falls to silence

We put an end to all violence

Unbreakable companionship, as we ponder through each wall

Circulation of our blood flow, correlates as one

Rushing in the same dirrection, even when the moon is not full

You fit the missing piece, the other side that makes me whole

Sleepless nights for enternity, the perfect harmony

As two joines together, forming a mystical fantasy

Discovering like a child, who just learned how to walk

Our desire is to search further, not ever wanting to pause

The emotion lingers with sensation, high quality of depth

Intriguing with each step, to love unconditionally

Promises to be kept, memories to fullfil

A vow to retain

" I will love you til death do us part. In sickness and  in health."

" For the better and for the worse."

I will give you my heart, my soul, my love

And through each storm we will stand together

United as one

I am Mad!
Mad at myself for believing in others
Mad at others for letting me down.
Sometimes I wish I would be vain, wrathful, selfish
I sometimes want to fullfil my inner desires.
Sometimes I want to drink that Hatred poison
Be consumed by greed
And every vice that comes with, I confess!
For it is not fair
Why must I suffer the lash of a whip
Of which I do not deserve?
Or do I deserve everything that comes my way, good or bad?

Why do I come to you holding my plate as you prepare a meal?
I am not on my knees.
Is it because you say you will feed me
And so I take comfort knowing I will eat
But really you do not consider me a portion of your food
So I am left hungry.

A hungry man is an angry man.

I have ill will towards you now.
I wish you drop dead on the table
Just so I can finish your meal.
Why do you torment me so?
As you sit there stuffing your face until you struggle to chew
You pretend as though I do not exist.
I ask for a small bit
You say there is not enough.
It's never enough for you
I hope you choke on your meal, you Glutton!

But I dont really mean it.
You are in the hands of the Lord, your fate is His decision.
I chastise myself for being so gullible
For having no dignity
And having swallowed only my pride
Letting it happen.
Why should I suffer in your hands
As you crush me with a squeeze as you please?
I feel satisfaction at the hands of my own self infliction thank you
So I whip myself until I bleed...
And bleed...and Bleed!...
But not a single drop let
And not a single tear shed.

I smile when I am done
For I have forgiven myself.
I thank you
This will never happen to me again.
I am Stronger and Wiser now.
Now I shall fend for myself in the Hands of the Lord.

What if
... I could turn back time
... I could go forward
... I could change the days
... I could read your mind

What if
... fairytales would come true
... superheroes do excist
... magic was for everyone
... happiness wasn't a bubble

What if
... I could fullfil my dreams
... I wouldn't be too scared
... I didn't lie to myself
... I could get my happy ending.

What if...

Let’s defy these scientific rules for a minute
And immobilize this systematic reality.
Lets make our own personal route
Towards a surreal land, just like fantasy

A place where i could stretch my arm and grab a star
A place where you could sit by my side, holding a jar.

Where we could put them in jar and keep it under the moon.
Then listen to their sweet, soothing and mellow tune.

Where we could make anything from their glowing dust.
Or use them to fullfil our wishes, if we must.

A place where we could be together for *****.
Only if we could defy scientific rules for once.

Will I fall or will I fly ..
I make my decisions with myself in mind
Cross my heart and hope to die
Fullfil my soul is whats in mind

How old are you ?
Is what the lady at the bar said to me
As I argued with her about integrity
Life and repeated history

How old are you, she said to me
Im 22, yea and I'm that aware and that blue.

How old are you the lady at work said to me
As I explained to her how decisions are merly destiny
How people are repeatitions of what was done to them
And how I shouldn't look like what they think I should look like to impress them
Im 23 and it took a while to love myself
I still don't like it sometimes, but I remind myself

How old are you??
The psycologist said to me
As I told him why and how my brain and emotions tangled up and untangled
How I was merly dating to relay on someone for free and that it wasn't right for either him or me.
I explained to him the exact reasons for anxiety
And how I need control cause I was scared by chios in my family
And how a panic attack can be cured mentally
And how I don't want his pills cause I've seen what it has done to others and I have empathy

I said I'm 23
I'm 23
And why does this scenario keep happening to me

He said you're on the right path
Aware and righteous
Keep it up and you'll see


But I wasn't any different and I still wasnt okay
So how could you say that to me

I dont know if I know better
And that's why you're impressed
But even if I did I dont think I do better
And knowing is not a bliss
Ignorance might be
But I can't know that for sure
Cause I can only truly experience life through me
 
So will I fly or will I fall
I  dont know
But I crossed my heart and promised myself to take control
Cause no one has you but you
And when you die what did you do for you ?

So I'm sorry that I left you
I'm sorry that I dont answer texts
I'm sorry that I went out that night
Even though I knew you were a mess
I'm sorry that I wasn't truly there in you're last days
Even though I knew you needed what you needed
But I couldn't give.  
And now you're in heaven's bliss

I make my decisions with myself in mind
And I'm not here to impress
I'm here to survive
And I've learned from the best
That no one has got you but you
So do what you got to do
Before it's too late.

Im afraid

that i might need you a little bit more

And i like to be hugged a little bit longer than you usually did

And my ears will craving your voice a little bit  more than before

And my eyes cant fullfil their hunger when youre not around

And the butterflies in my tummy will flies away when you hurt me

and my lungs will stop working

....my heart  will stop beating

To you:
Who deserves every chance at happiness.
_________________­__
I hope he loves you more than I ever did
I hid my heart behind a ribcage too tightly sealed
I shielded my heart from the thieves inside my mind
I've been blind to not realise the thief is beautiful
with a musical voice that sounded like an angel's choir;
one that I could never tire of.
A big part of me knew that I wasn't good enough, I just knew;
through all that he does, I hope he makes you feel rich
And I hope that he loves you more than I ever did.

I hope he makes you happier than I ever could
I never understood how you could look at yourself in such a light,
you're bright, funny, pretty, beautiful and a million more words
some I've never heard of, but I don't understand
how you managed to find hate against yourself.
I hope I helped you felt a little better about yourself,
I hope I helped you see yourself through my eyes
and the eyes of anyone you have ever met or will come to meet.
I could bleed an ocean, drip by drip from an aching heart
but if it was a start to make you see yourself as a piece of art;
the masterpiece that you are. I would.
I hope he makes you light up with smiles everyday
and say all the right and perfect things to make you feel loved.
I hope he hugs you tight within his arms, holding you to his chest;
I hope he knows he is blessed to have you in his life.
I hope you see that you're magnificent, great, never just plain good,
and I hope that he makes you happier than I ever could.

I hope he reminds you of what it was like to live in dreams
that seamless paradise where everything is so well connected;
the things you expected is right in the palm of your hands,
all the plans you ever made have all in some way came true
the blue that you ever felt in your heart is obliterated
and all the situations you find yourself in makes you happy.
I hope he lets you fullfil your dreams, everything you ever wanted;
I hope he helps you achieve those dreams.
I've seen a glimpse of what your dreams are like,
they are marvellous; and your happiness away from the nightmares;
I hope he cherishes them,
and I hope he cherishes you.
I hope he is always there putting you above the TV or computer screen,
and I hope that he makes you feel like you're living in a million dreams.

I hope you know; I'll be ok. I'll learn to be ok,
no matter how hard it might become for me,
but I hope that he loves you with all of his heart;
and I hope that you find everything you want in life,
the light that brightens your eyes on why you are in many ways amazing,
the racing heart sensation that you would feel with him,
I hope that you will be as happy as you ever wanted.
I hope he loves you more than I ever did, ever do and ever could.

__________________­_

From:
The guy stuck in his own mind, trying to find a way out.

Nothing is free

Even when you breath
It's to fullfil a need
Taken with greed
Ignoring the pleads
For the very same need

Belonging to you
Or belonging to me
It's dangerous to need
Especially
When needs can bleed

Rarely is it seen
The true value need
The price of free
Is more costly than greed
A price that is valued
Against someone else's needs

Nothing is free
Nothing is ever free
Weight out the costs

How valuable are your needs

She opened her warm arms for you Smiling and welcoming you deep into
Her heart, tears of joy filled her eyes, she
Hoped for not so much but just love, she
Trusted you to respect her and never to Break her heart and you promised never In your sober senses to hurt her
And she felt for it

You looked straight into her eyes,
Knowing very well you feeding her lies,
Manipulated  her mind and She only Believed you felt the same, not Knowing You brought her nothing but shame,  
When you came and played her
She thought  that You Were the one but You were planning to hit her behind and run leaving her behind

She treated you with kindness but you Were so heartless you stinged her  with Your bitterness you  came and change
The game took her innocence planing to Leave her in pain although she was with You through the rain you chewed and Threw her in drain, although she gave You all she had  you still took from her more than she gave, then you left

She never complained because she had Faith in you but you took advantage
With your fake love, you won her mind And her heart, she gave you more her soul But all you did was bruise and hurt her Then you left her in pain she could have Sent you to jail or prayed you to burn in Hell but instead she chose to forgive you Because she love and she cares for you

You injected her with lies and false hope She accepted you  with all your flaws but
You rejected her after getting what you wanted, not only you fooled and failed her
To fullfil your own evil shelfish feelings  
You played her.

A known stranger,
An unknown blood tie.
A bond formed by truth,
A relation tangled in lies.

A manipulative familiarity,
An aching small piece of mine.
A place darker then night sky,
A light resurrect everytime it die.

The hatred lurching,
Underneath blinding smile.
A soothing presence,
On other side of the phone line.

Hands raised,
To sooth the ache.
Inflicted by the sworn,
Proctector of this life.

Authorities,making decisions.
Certain rules seems to apply.
The duty left to fullfil,
By another,keeping on stand by.

Being yours,
           Is a curse.
Not being yours,
           Is certainly worse.

Identity crises,
      Or maybe crises of a life time.
Comes the time to pick,
      Still choose the blood tie.

My weakness of silver is slivers of Raze that shine upon me hiding my Ray's of sunshine shaping shady subtle realities,
Extreme extroverts case introvert is escaping and rubbing off in energy ****** people's thoughts because at the ending off all simple relations of makeup dna there is a difference of compatibility even through similarities there is something not as big as me,
I'll change the way I'm veiwed in quick flick like thanos rub of my fingertips, a curse now lifts here is the fresh wind of chills winter till heater kicks...
Sinners and saints that does not longer remain in suspense ,
My phrophets Alighn and discuss while I vent,
I huddle there crowds when and while spies touch my system of circumstance,
I'm after if and it won't let me go,
Someone tell me I'm living a life I don't control,
I feel my face get number when I write what they already know like a headache between my ears that has the squint of my soul leaning in as my head Auto piolets and all of what comes unfolds,
My left ear prepares but Rose like Alexander till Bars work Mexican slander like a backstab of a Kane a Uncle owns with the skin of a salamander ,
I'l am the right way of thinking .
I respect the master, but not one of planet and awhat emerge after.
There isn't a plant I put since I was born that wasn't for the current me to breathe and be the words typed in my stone with prints that marks didn't wip with a gift or way of reminder that you idiots call lies to divide and print Syfy tricks ,
Simply put im the "Devine invent",
White light, dark light simple upbeat running up and down water flow between my spine tap tap window and expect new experience daily when I present,
I just need years to learn while I stay present and silent,
I want hugs food and times with no violence and learning of true human habits, I'm done with the child feel like all who have had , and only choose what now they shall get,
I thought you was supposed to loose your best friend but it was just my own personal death,
Now I ressurect and fullfil my quest,
Most the time I wish I didn't have to waste my time on worthless text and script of simple relations to love through intense massive introductions of wasted ***,
Chomosone is simple same
But I can't explain the feeling between my hands when I think of the appearing image because I'm always to big to help describe your living in the intervention
What else can I help the angel see with white horse she riding that I am the Lion ago arriving here I reside in a file of timing simentaniousky lining and placement arrivial of testing his energetic genetic execution is brilliant .
Don't be upset by your versions and read scriptures you fear the fact your involved only gives you chance at front hand vision to emerge as they already decided between good and evil at end,
Rule the marble in a simple version,
Happy to hear your finally understanding the inside man.  

I will only be a better me and keep my problems of evidence in written sublte substance,
I work with building only my name to sustain substance a wonderful and spread info of how can with all the at lived transform so massivley like this fast enough to gain such attention and substance. .. on and on ******* constant speaking words only trying to forgive and forget.  If only this sad string of live could be finally lived.

You are never more conflicted
when you are a teenager in love
lost in a strange world of expectations
your heart filled with so many thoughts of one person
like chemical reacting to fullfil a purpose

You are never more insecure
when you are a teenager in love
that those feelings might be the end of you
sleepless nights, uncontrollable need to feel loved
but nothing more promising than being assured

You are never more hurt
when you are teenager in love
that when the love stops being love and more of a work
slowly but surely everything fades that only reality is left
and the memories never had a happy ending

A thought is ephemeral
It's only binding
Is that of the one
Who thinks it

A thought is a weapon
It is sharp
It is fast
It is as hot and it is indifferent
To those it strikes
Or kills

A thought is you
Me
Her
Him
Your dearest loved one
Your greatest enemy
No one
At all

A thought is the thing
You tell convince yourself
Your living for
Breathing for
Fighting for
Working for
Eventually will die for

A thought
Is the abstract of an objective
You know
In your hearts of heart

Will not fullfil you

Will not complete you

Will not finish you

Human beings
By design
Are clipped of our wings

We were throttled down to earth
We were left to die in the sands of the desert
The beaches and
The death valleys
We were born abandoned

Left only with ourselves

A thought is your neighbor
Who you smile to in the morning
As you get into your car

Grinning through the sludge we are

Smiling through the destruction

Giddy in our descension

A thought is a just a thought
As a life is just a life

What births a meaning
A purpose
A reason

Binding the sinews to the bone
Stirring the blood from within
Pregnant with that of two heart beats
Hot by the sun and never cold

Is action

What action?

You tell me.

Everyday is a opportunity to be a better version of yourself.

You cannot spend all of your time sleeping when you have dreams to fullfil.

Every journey will have a bump in the road.

Adventure to learn yourself, enhance your concept of knowledgeable, have hunger for wisdom, and the world will assist you to overcome all.