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"frequent" poems
The joyful heart is the buoyant heart— empowered to rise above its circumstances, unweighted, unburdened, unbound, tied only to that which would lift it higher, untethered from anything which would pull it down, pull it under or suffocate it. It's the free heart, quiet and at rest yet jubilant and uncontained, the celebrating heart, the praising heart, the thankful heart, the heart set on pilgrimage, bent on adventure, journey and romance. All the while it's a waiting heart because it's a yielded, led heart— a heart which doesn't run ahead of the LORD but willingly, quickly to the LORD— a heart that though eagerly anticipating each twisting turn, next horizon and changing path keeps its eyes fixed not on the scenery but forever on the Shepherd because it's a heart persuaded that He alone is the Great Reward for which it has always been looking. True joy is only ours when we find an endless source of satisfaction, and of these I know only One! The secret to all joy is to crave Him above all else. The joyful heart is the one addicted fully to Him, desperate for Him to the expense of all else, willing to sacrifice everything to have that craving satisfied. Joy and idols, I have learned, do not easily reside together in the same heart. So if I find that joy is chased away the most likely culprits are my own desires. What am I wanting more than Jesus? For if intimacy with Him is the supreme goal of my life then nothing can arise which I'm not enabled to bear with joy. There is, I suppose, nothing so reliable as suffering and loss to expose all of the hidden idols within me. It's surely those who have suffered the greatest and most frequent losses for Christ who are also most capable of knowing the deepest and most abiding joy. For it's when we've been stripped bare of everything else that we begin to know for certain that our joy is based not on the temporary blessings of our circumstances but only on the presence of the Eternal Blesser Himself. Sometimes He offers to us all that is in His right hand, but for any with eyes truly opened to see the most precious of times may be those when He offers to us only the intimacy of His right hand. Rivers of sadness can open up into wide gulfs of endless delight and are often the very courses needed to carry us there. When all is lost, we find to our amazement that, even so, we still have ALL and no one can rob us of it. When He takes everything from us He proves Himself to be EVERYTHING to us.
0
Jul 26, 2017
Jul 26, 2017 at 4:11 PM UTC
~ The Joyful Heart ~
The joyful heart is the buoyant heart— empowered to rise above its circumstances, unweighted, unburdened, unbound, tied only to that which would lift it higher, untethered from anything which would pull it down, pull it under or suffocate it. It's the free heart, quiet and at rest yet jubilant and uncontained, the celebrating heart, the praising heart, the thankful heart, the heart set on pilgrimage, bent on adventure, journey and romance. All the while it's a waiting heart because it's a yielded, led heart— a heart which doesn't run ahead of the LORD but willingly, quickly to the LORD— a heart that though eagerly anticipating each twisting turn, next horizon and changing path keeps its eyes fixed not on the scenery but forever on the Shepherd because it's a heart persuaded that He alone is the Great Reward for which it has always been looking. True joy is only ours when we find an endless source of satisfaction, and of these I know only One! The secret to all joy is to crave Him above all else. The joyful heart is the one addicted fully to Him, desperate for Him to the expense of all else, willing to sacrifice everything to have that craving satisfied. Joy and idols, I have learned, do not easily reside together in the same heart. So if I find that joy is chased away the most likely culprits are my own desires. What am I wanting more than Jesus? For if intimacy with Him is the supreme goal of my life then nothing can arise which I'm not enabled to bear with joy. There is, I suppose, nothing so reliable as suffering and loss to expose all of the hidden idols within me. It's surely those who have suffered the greatest and most frequent losses for Christ who are also most capable of knowing the deepest and most abiding joy. For it's when we've been stripped bare of everything else that we begin to know for certain that our joy is based not on the temporary blessings of our circumstances but only on the presence of the Eternal Blesser Himself. Sometimes He offers to us all that is in His right hand, but for any with eyes truly opened to see the most precious of times may be those when He offers to us only the intimacy of His right hand. Rivers of sadness can open up into wide gulfs of endless delight and are often the very courses needed to carry us there. When all is lost, we find to our amazement that, even so, we still have ALL and no one can rob us of it. When He takes everything from us He proves Himself to be EVERYTHING to us.
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56
Strange malaise, One I can't place. Struggling of late. Discomforting state. Persistent lethargy. Sloth-like and heavy. Burning internals. Frequent intervals. No temperature. No warning lever. Don't know what's wrong. Been rather long. Medicine trough Can't rid me this cough. Expulsion so violent, Incessantly recurrent. Over a fortnight This ailment I fight. Still hasn't eased. Can't be appeased. Development is seen. Now spitting green. Not just all That joined this brawl. It's just the coughing. No injury I'm suffering, I haven't bled... But I see red...
0
Oct 9, 2014
Oct 9, 2014 at 12:46 PM UTC
Red
I know they're not accurate. The fact I frequent creative results may be more or less coincidental. After all who am I compared to Jon Stewart or a Greek philosopher? But maybe I don't care. Maybe I take them just for fun. And who can complain when they are compared to Charizard and Winnie the Pooh?
0
May 23, 2014
May 23, 2014 at 10:30 AM UTC
Personality Quizzes
Amid the smoke and light and laughter Along the smiles and cheers thereafter A sound is bled, wrung free from strings It bounds and treads and wholly sings Inside each song a secret moves Not right nor wrong or frequent proved The message dances from bow to ear A coded trance of love and fear From left to right the story rings Of death and light the Cello brings The covert tale engulfs the room It vibrates truth to those who loom The Cello knows for why it’s played Its secret lost, both gone and stayed Amid the smoke and light and laughter Music lies and cries thereafter
0
Feb 19, 2018
Feb 19, 2018 at 11:46 AM UTC
A Cello Knows
i must give you a full physical exam to fully grasp my prognosis and plan of treatment for you... dont be afraid i feel confident, no need to debate i can satisfy and gratify your pre-dic-ament in the richest succulent as a specialist, to some degree my healing hands work expertly but to receive full and complete treatment you must partake my honey rather frequent for a better plan of action i require a full body transfusion a chemical mixture of center fuses a delicate blending of our juices this may require several procedures over time it provides many features healing properties of your most vital ***** however worth it, even if, it cost a fortune to this a can guarantee success but first you must fully undress i work with energy transference your help required for successful convergence of the best possible results between two consenting adults bartering is certainly a viable option for your long term medical condition providing equal services for each other helps maintain balance to one another
0
Mar 28, 2017
Mar 28, 2017 at 1:01 AM UTC
Doctor, Doctor give me the news
the frustration I had after failing to bring myself to ****** for the tenth time this past week makes me more furious than depressed seriously my *** drive has always been high as soon as I got over the shame society places on women for enjoying their sexuality I have always used ************ as a release relieves stress leaves me relaxed and content or should I say, left me feeling that way usually it was once a day fairly frequent but, it matched my *** drive's needs what the **** is wrong with me I have tried imagining, watching, reading, looking at every form of erotica that exists I have searched through everything I can find from **** ****** stories, comics and my search history will let you know that I've searched everything from **** to ****** to interracial lesbian forced ******* and things worse than that e v e r y t h i n g used to take me, oh, I dunno maybe three minutes with my ******** after around an hour is when I give up now I even bought a different ******** NO RELEASE NO PASSION GONE what is WRONG WITH ME oh yeah - depression I mean I knew it was bad when video games no longer had appeal that was enough games have been a passion and a hobby of mine since I was five the other hobby I started a bit older than five but you stole that one, too after depression beat the **** out of me on Tuesday I thought that was it thought since the next morning I awoke without the urge to **** myself it was over nope you have robbed me of the simplest things in my life that give me pleasure no more wriggling moaning spasming the tingling sensation that starts in my toes and makes its way up the length of my body the warmness that follows with it the satisfaction slight smile snuggly sleepy post ****** me I miss her give her back I miss my life give it back this isn't ME for ***** sake! I am a ****** witty humorous creature full of passion looking for opportunities to get myself off! not this depressed apathetic vessel without soul. you won't stop until you have everything in my life you won't stop until you put my soul in your mouth chew grind crush it your saliva breaks me down spit me out please I am fighting for you to cough me up regurgitate the essence of me let me put myself back inside this body please please no you won't stop you will eat my soul until ever fiber protein ounce of health I had is now inside of you, depression cold-hearted *****
0
Feb 19, 2016
Feb 19, 2016 at 6:10 AM UTC
************ VIDEO GAMES AND DEPRESSION
the frustration I had after failing to bring myself to ****** for the tenth time this past week makes me more furious than depressed seriously my *** drive has always been high as soon as I got over the shame society places on women for enjoying their sexuality I have always used ************ as a release relieves stress leaves me relaxed and content or should I say, left me feeling that way usually it was once a day fairly frequent but, it matched my *** drive's needs what the **** is wrong with me I have tried imagining, watching, reading, looking at every form of erotica that exists I have searched through everything I can find from **** ****** stories, comics and my search history will let you know that I've searched everything from **** to ****** to interracial lesbian forced ******* and things worse than that e v e r y t h i n g used to take me, oh, I dunno maybe three minutes with my ******** after around an hour is when I give up now I even bought a different ******** NO RELEASE NO PASSION GONE what is WRONG WITH ME oh yeah - depression I mean I knew it was bad when video games no longer had appeal that was enough games have been a passion and a hobby of mine since I was five the other hobby I started a bit older than five but you stole that one, too after depression beat the **** out of me on Tuesday I thought that was it thought since the next morning I awoke without the urge to **** myself it was over nope you have robbed me of the simplest things in my life that give me pleasure no more wriggling moaning spasming the tingling sensation that starts in my toes and makes its way up the length of my body the warmness that follows with it the satisfaction slight smile snuggly sleepy post ****** me I miss her give her back I miss my life give it back this isn't ME for ***** sake! I am a ****** witty humorous creature full of passion looking for opportunities to get myself off! not this depressed apathetic vessel without soul. you won't stop until you have everything in my life you won't stop until you put my soul in your mouth chew grind crush it your saliva breaks me down spit me out please I am fighting for you to cough me up regurgitate the essence of me let me put myself back inside this body please please no you won't stop you will eat my soul until ever fiber protein ounce of health I had is now inside of you, depression cold-hearted *****
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196
I’m sorry I’m so clumsy Some days it seems like the world is fighting me at every step And I’m losing the battle I stumble over every stubborn staircase I trip over my tongue like an uneven rug Every new set of walls is a labyrinth I get lost in Every move I make is disjointed and uncertain My fingers and feet flail when I’m carrying precious, fragile things And before I know it I’m sprawled on the floor Surrounded by shattered fragments Bruised and aching Burning with humiliation and frustration But I’ll try to be careful. If you will be brave enough to trust me I will try to keep my steps in line and my path straight I will try to find the rhythm in the song of my surroundings I will try to see beyond my limitations My faults, my failures, my frequent falls I will try to look up and see the beauty in the world Instead of staring at my feet in fear I may trip at times But I will not be trapped in trepidation I ask for your patience I am trying to be patient with myself too My best is all I can really do And I will do what I can to be the best for you
0
Jul 25, 2019
Jul 25, 2019 at 11:01 PM UTC
Clumsy
"Stoner's Poem" I see your snapstories, I see your ask profile. I see how you comment and reply and flaunt your English skills. Trust me, I love your rebuttals, More than Biryani and the Lebanese pornstar. I see your Facebook posts, I see your WordPress, And I see, how you craft your poems flamboyantly, And then, and then, Pilfer my breath, And rob my me. Sometimes, just sometimes, Your deportment bewilders me, More than Lowry-Bronsted's theory. I see how you dance in the rain, Like "All, sin, tan, cos", do in my brain. I see how you frequent every segment of my cardiac muscle, And then desert it, like it's one of the many dilapidated constructions. My reminiscences about your thingness, Escalate me to a higher spiritual level, More than **** does. Oh, that smile, Oh, that look, Oh, the mystique in you. And again, I am writing of Love. And the pen doesn't seem to stop soon, For I have taken a greater risk, Than asking my friend about cathodes and anodes and electrolysis, while I took my last chemistry exam, When the invigilator was around.
0
May 14, 2016
May 14, 2016 at 3:55 AM UTC
Stoner's poem
<> "And then one day you came back home You were a creature all in rapture You had the key to your soul And you did open that day you came back to the garden The olden summer breeze was blowin' on your face The light of God was shinin' on your countenance divine And you were a violet colour as you Sat beside your father and your mother in the garden The summer breeze was blowin' on your face Within your violet you treasure your summery words And as the shiver from my neck down to my spine Ignited me in daylight and nature in the garden" In the Garden, song by by Van Morrison <> ***This touches me deep in the chest cavity, the palpitations of its internalizing echoing cavitations, a warning, go slow, choose your words wise and accrue, the mood, for the ache of creating, hurts, fevers me for I am but steps away from the garden, and its violet hues infused with fresh sunrising golden hazes, with kindly warmth, with warming kindnesses, touches, caresses my shoulders, begs me to stop crying, overcome, for I am overcome, eyes dropping wetting droplets, for find myself at the intersection, interlocking crossroads where perfect perfection begins and must meet its natural endings thoughts of capture, retentions, preservations, all impossibilities, challenges, see me, begging itinerant muses in the neighborhood to guide my hand, teach me newsome words, mine feel so old, so unworthy of this moment, hearing me solicit their Treasure of Summery Words but they won't, excusing themselves, that this in particular human has exercised, exorcised, all the tools in his ever diminishing capacity, time insufficient to learn a new calculus of addition and bid me calm my heaving chest, seize my tears, just add them to the brackish salted waters steps awaiting away live in this moment live within this poem, revisit it frequent, weep no more, your stilling heart weakened, take fast what is given now, and be contented, your treasury chest is full, overflowing with this summary of summery*** but I am not, cannot… 7:48:am jul 22
0
Jul 22, 2025
Jul 22, 2025 at 8:03 AM UTC
Within your violet, you treasure your summery words...
<> "And then one day you came back home You were a creature all in rapture You had the key to your soul And you did open that day you came back to the garden The olden summer breeze was blowin' on your face The light of God was shinin' on your countenance divine And you were a violet colour as you Sat beside your father and your mother in the garden The summer breeze was blowin' on your face Within your violet you treasure your summery words And as the shiver from my neck down to my spine Ignited me in daylight and nature in the garden" In the Garden, song by by Van Morrison <> ***This touches me deep in the chest cavity, the palpitations of its internalizing echoing cavitations, a warning, go slow, choose your words wise and accrue, the mood, for the ache of creating, hurts, fevers me for I am but steps away from the garden, and its violet hues infused with fresh sunrising golden hazes, with kindly warmth, with warming kindnesses, touches, caresses my shoulders, begs me to stop crying, overcome, for I am overcome, eyes dropping wetting droplets, for find myself at the intersection, interlocking crossroads where perfect perfection begins and must meet its natural endings thoughts of capture, retentions, preservations, all impossibilities, challenges, see me, begging itinerant muses in the neighborhood to guide my hand, teach me newsome words, mine feel so old, so unworthy of this moment, hearing me solicit their Treasure of Summery Words but they won't, excusing themselves, that this in particular human has exercised, exorcised, all the tools in his ever diminishing capacity, time insufficient to learn a new calculus of addition and bid me calm my heaving chest, seize my tears, just add them to the brackish salted waters steps awaiting away live in this moment live within this poem, revisit it frequent, weep no more, your stilling heart weakened, take fast what is given now, and be contented, your treasury chest is full, overflowing with this summary of summery*** but I am not, cannot… 7:48:am jul 22
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64
Behind that fake smile Behind those lies Lie the distant echoes of my cries Behind those frequent relapses Lie my urge to recover now give me some poison. I am predictable in my unpredictability I am trying to fight my melancholy Behind that funny girl Lies someone who wants to watch themselves burn
0
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 10:25 AM UTC
Another mask
only the moon knew her darkest secrets, the depth of her thought was the deepest, up all night, its something she does frequent, she's an angel from heaven, that fell for a demon, a beautiful image, turned into a broken spirit, constant arguments and disagreements, her smile held pain, but she stuck to concealment, because her friends and the world were incoherent, I got to see her smile one day, ever since then, nothing has been the same, she no longer puts that same smile on her face, she once felt grace, but it turned to disgrace, the beauty she holds is inexplainable, the purity in her soul is gold, yet unattainable, because she no longer holds trust, what she thought was love, turned into lust,,an addicting drug, that having is a must, the magical feeling, turned into dust, she misses the memories, kisses, and hugs, now she confides in her own sorrow, asking god for a better tomorrow, he gives her a light to follow, but her own pride is hard to swallow, A beautiful intelligent female, who felt love through the most intimate detail, at school she was the most diligent female, filled in amazing aspects, and assets, but she continues to feel the absence, and still doesnt comprehend the circumstances, for his actions, of dissatisfaction, still to this day hasnt changed her reaction, the biggest heart break shes ever dealt with, it was minor to him, but her heart really felt it, like a beautiful ice sculpture, she melted, and there I was the person to who she vented, staring deep into her dark brown eyes, i saw what nobody else saw, deep deep inside, she was wise at mind, i searched more within, as the sun rised, a beautiful lonely girl, that told me under the stars and moonlight, "hold me close and never let go." i was there to carefully listen, she opened up like a book. after she looked up to me and said i was different, that i just might be what her heart was missin, her eyes and smile once again glistened, i told her, "look at the stars, look how they shine for you, until the stars in the sky shine no more, i'll always be there, until the end of time for you."
0
Dec 19, 2013
Dec 19, 2013 at 2:25 PM UTC
The Beautiful Lonely Girl
only the moon knew her darkest secrets, the depth of her thought was the deepest, up all night, its something she does frequent, she's an angel from heaven, that fell for a demon, a beautiful image, turned into a broken spirit, constant arguments and disagreements, her smile held pain, but she stuck to concealment, because her friends and the world were incoherent, I got to see her smile one day, ever since then, nothing has been the same, she no longer puts that same smile on her face, she once felt grace, but it turned to disgrace, the beauty she holds is inexplainable, the purity in her soul is gold, yet unattainable, because she no longer holds trust, what she thought was love, turned into lust,,an addicting drug, that having is a must, the magical feeling, turned into dust, she misses the memories, kisses, and hugs, now she confides in her own sorrow, asking god for a better tomorrow, he gives her a light to follow, but her own pride is hard to swallow, A beautiful intelligent female, who felt love through the most intimate detail, at school she was the most diligent female, filled in amazing aspects, and assets, but she continues to feel the absence, and still doesnt comprehend the circumstances, for his actions, of dissatisfaction, still to this day hasnt changed her reaction, the biggest heart break shes ever dealt with, it was minor to him, but her heart really felt it, like a beautiful ice sculpture, she melted, and there I was the person to who she vented, staring deep into her dark brown eyes, i saw what nobody else saw, deep deep inside, she was wise at mind, i searched more within, as the sun rised, a beautiful lonely girl, that told me under the stars and moonlight, "hold me close and never let go." i was there to carefully listen, she opened up like a book. after she looked up to me and said i was different, that i just might be what her heart was missin, her eyes and smile once again glistened, i told her, "look at the stars, look how they shine for you, until the stars in the sky shine no more, i'll always be there, until the end of time for you."
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14
In all my iterations, and my frequent reiterations, Introspection reflection, run a muck, I find it unnecessary To talk to God; the reason being quite simple, is It and I are in constant dialogue, nary a pause, chattering Round the clock, 24 seven, night and day, sleep interruptus, I think to myself  God has some nerve, why can't he bother others? in other parts of the world… And so he does! Visitors from far away lands, and languages I do not understand, but applaud their attempts to decipher the English one, that we share in common; if the lands are exotic, the names are more delightfully so, almost ****** It excites and titillates, to greet these kindred souls whose words be greeted by puzzlement, intrigue, like the delight of rediscovering vanilla, it's the same language spoken differently! and god smiles and says: "knew you would eventually speak my soul language!'"
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Jul 29, 2025
Jul 29, 2025 at 11:23 AM UTC
Visitors from far away lands/I never talk to God
Thunderstorms will impact you. And it's not going to hurt you. So, have your umbrellas ready. Because it's gonna be a big one with some heavy rain, loud thunder and dangerous frequent lightning. And it will never go away forever. It's just Mother Nature's wrath. Of love and passion. Anonymous. 4/8/2014.
0
Apr 8, 2014
Apr 8, 2014 at 4:57 PM UTC
Thunderstorms
Choose **** Choose a dealer. Choose your rolling papers. Choose a **** Choose mind numbingly long conversations about **** all. Choose home grown. Choose frequent holidays to amsterdam. Choose red eyes. Choose the biggets pizza ever for when the munchies kick in. Choose paranoia. Choose chilling with mates. Choose hallucinating about a giant green hedgehog following you home. Choose watching Cheech and Chong. Choose skunk. Choose super skunk. Choose hiding your stash from the police. Choose spilling ***** **** water on your carpet. Choose a fake jamaican accent. Choose space cakes. Choose your future. Choose ****
0
Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 6:08 AM UTC
Choose ****
In the rectory garden on his evening walk Paced brisk Father Shawn. A cold day, a sodden one it was In black November. After a sliding rain Dew stood in chill sweat on each stalk, Each thorn; spiring from wet earth, a blue haze Hung caught in dark-webbed branches like a fabulous heron. Hauled sudden from solitude, Hair prickling on his head, Father Shawn perceived a ghost Shaping itself from that mist. 'How now,' Father Shawn crisply addressed the ghost Wavering there, gauze-edged, smelling of woodsmoke, 'What manner of business are you on? From your blue pallor, I'd say you inhabited the frozen waste Of hell, and not the fiery part. Yet to judge by that dazzled look, That noble mien, perhaps you've late quitted heaven?' In voice furred with frost, Ghost said to priest: 'Neither of those countries do I frequent: Earth is my haunt.' 'Come, come,' Father Shawn gave an impatient shrug, 'I don't ask you to spin some ridiculous fable Of gilded harps or gnawing fire: simply tell After your life's end, what just epilogue God ordained to follow up your days. Is it such trouble To satisfy the questions of a curious old fool?' 'In life, love gnawed my skin To this white bone; What love did then, love does now: Gnaws me through.' 'What love,' asked Father Shawn, 'but too great love Of flawed earth-flesh could cause this sorry pass? Some ****** condition you are in: Thinking never to have left the world, you grieve As though alive, shriveling in torment thus To atone as shade for sin that lured blind man.' 'The day of doom Is not yest come. Until that time A crock of dust is my dear hom.' 'Fond phantom,' cried shocked Father Shawn, 'Can there be such stubbornness-- A soul grown feverish, clutching its dead body-tree Like a last storm-crossed leaf? Best get you gone To judgment in a higher court of grace. Repent, depart, before God's trump-crack splits the sky.' From that pale mist Ghost swore to priest: 'There sits no higher court Than man's red heart.'
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7.7k
Dialogue Between Ghost And Priest
In the rectory garden on his evening walk Paced brisk Father Shawn. A cold day, a sodden one it was In black November. After a sliding rain Dew stood in chill sweat on each stalk, Each thorn; spiring from wet earth, a blue haze Hung caught in dark-webbed branches like a fabulous heron. Hauled sudden from solitude, Hair prickling on his head, Father Shawn perceived a ghost Shaping itself from that mist. 'How now,' Father Shawn crisply addressed the ghost Wavering there, gauze-edged, smelling of woodsmoke, 'What manner of business are you on? From your blue pallor, I'd say you inhabited the frozen waste Of hell, and not the fiery part. Yet to judge by that dazzled look, That noble mien, perhaps you've late quitted heaven?' In voice furred with frost, Ghost said to priest: 'Neither of those countries do I frequent: Earth is my haunt.' 'Come, come,' Father Shawn gave an impatient shrug, 'I don't ask you to spin some ridiculous fable Of gilded harps or gnawing fire: simply tell After your life's end, what just epilogue God ordained to follow up your days. Is it such trouble To satisfy the questions of a curious old fool?' 'In life, love gnawed my skin To this white bone; What love did then, love does now: Gnaws me through.' 'What love,' asked Father Shawn, 'but too great love Of flawed earth-flesh could cause this sorry pass? Some ****** condition you are in: Thinking never to have left the world, you grieve As though alive, shriveling in torment thus To atone as shade for sin that lured blind man.' 'The day of doom Is not yest come. Until that time A crock of dust is my dear hom.' 'Fond phantom,' cried shocked Father Shawn, 'Can there be such stubbornness-- A soul grown feverish, clutching its dead body-tree Like a last storm-crossed leaf? Best get you gone To judgment in a higher court of grace. Repent, depart, before God's trump-crack splits the sky.' From that pale mist Ghost swore to priest: 'There sits no higher court Than man's red heart.'
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50
Hey, past me from so close yet seeming long ago... A knot from my sweater's bow I regret tying despite how unkempt the ribbons look hanging by my sides because now it's digging into my back The hair I can't decide if I want out where it's pretty and makes me look less like a generic nerd yet gets in my face and food and life The jeans I insist upon wearing without a belt even though their slipping down my **** may actually outweigh the pain of loosening the belt The tennis shoes I'm too attached to give up that emit a constant squeak, squeak, squeaking through the hallways whether it's caused by residual rain from outside or not The glasses, fond of slipping down my nose at frequent intervals, covered in smudges I rarely notice till they get out of hand The phone whose screen happened to crack at the most inopportune moment and takes forever to read my finger print The jacket that should be a highlighter blue but rather presents itself as a canvas of the week's tomato stains The face covered in acne- The stomach with fat instead of muscle- The arms lacking muscle- The legs with too much hair- I've always acknowledged that perfection is not possible, yet I have to at least try to strive I think, as I sit at my desk, fingers typing fragmented sentences, attempting to convey thoughts speeding too fast to grasp Yet, just a simple poem of reflection brings to light these numerous deficiencies, many of which I COULD fix were it not the invisible fiend upon whom I stamp the label-laziness These deficiencies, many of which aren't even noticed by those around me, some of whom are better some are worse But it's not as simple as that, I've known I can't just be "one of the people", I need to find something, some identity, some way out of my seemingly impossible to escape label of "just above average" In academics, in extracurricular activities, EVERYTHING, I seem to be at a stagnant I've done bad, I've done "just above average", but never above. What is the point if you get plenty of losses and plenty of "fine" but no victories? It's something about me though, somehow I believe, subconsciously, I'm impeding myself. I'm holding myself back. ... Why?
0
Nov 14, 2018
Nov 14, 2018 at 3:50 PM UTC
Holding Myself Back
Hey, past me from so close yet seeming long ago... A knot from my sweater's bow I regret tying despite how unkempt the ribbons look hanging by my sides because now it's digging into my back The hair I can't decide if I want out where it's pretty and makes me look less like a generic nerd yet gets in my face and food and life The jeans I insist upon wearing without a belt even though their slipping down my **** may actually outweigh the pain of loosening the belt The tennis shoes I'm too attached to give up that emit a constant squeak, squeak, squeaking through the hallways whether it's caused by residual rain from outside or not The glasses, fond of slipping down my nose at frequent intervals, covered in smudges I rarely notice till they get out of hand The phone whose screen happened to crack at the most inopportune moment and takes forever to read my finger print The jacket that should be a highlighter blue but rather presents itself as a canvas of the week's tomato stains The face covered in acne- The stomach with fat instead of muscle- The arms lacking muscle- The legs with too much hair- I've always acknowledged that perfection is not possible, yet I have to at least try to strive I think, as I sit at my desk, fingers typing fragmented sentences, attempting to convey thoughts speeding too fast to grasp Yet, just a simple poem of reflection brings to light these numerous deficiencies, many of which I COULD fix were it not the invisible fiend upon whom I stamp the label-laziness These deficiencies, many of which aren't even noticed by those around me, some of whom are better some are worse But it's not as simple as that, I've known I can't just be "one of the people", I need to find something, some identity, some way out of my seemingly impossible to escape label of "just above average" In academics, in extracurricular activities, EVERYTHING, I seem to be at a stagnant I've done bad, I've done "just above average", but never above. What is the point if you get plenty of losses and plenty of "fine" but no victories? It's something about me though, somehow I believe, subconsciously, I'm impeding myself. I'm holding myself back. ... Why?
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22
If I could, I would pick up my ink pen and drown an ocean into you instead of drowning you in it. Extract these rotting feelings for the sake of your ignorance. Carve scriptures into each delicacy of your brain so you wouldn’t have to dwell in such misery every day. Wire faith to your blemished heart.   Imbue purity to your sullied soul. If I could, I would write you through all depths of insanity without any harm so that your mind no longer persists the thought of death. There was a time I thought you were dead. Only you were painted red in a black and white world. Like you have been walking barefoot on a broken road your whole life. Your demons imitate life And life imitates the demons. You are the one being tied down by invisible, nonexistent chains. So unaccepting of help that has come for you Watch   the sun touch the horizon reach the meeting of sun and ground and Find further still, The limits you would like to reach only run from you. You have such a murderous tongue for society   people. But one day I hope to see you write yourself into existence Rather than to let yourself drown in it. Why has you dying become something so habitual? Darling, death is not a friend of yours Nor are you a friend of his. But I know of your frequent dates with death Tell me Does his neck feel like happiness And do his lips relieve you of your suffocation Now are you lost? or are you found? Do you recognize the irony   Of the most terrifying things happening in the most angelic places Charm yourself upon that bridge Whose lights light up the city in golden arrays With a glazed look you’d think. In sadness seen go by You are charmed by either war or hope. These occurred robberies have taken much But they left opportunity Important people And a moon in your window A future that only you know the ending of   And a slice of the midnight sky. So it goes.
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Jan 12, 2014
Jan 12, 2014 at 10:21 PM UTC
For Ellen:
If I could, I would pick up my ink pen and drown an ocean into you instead of drowning you in it. Extract these rotting feelings for the sake of your ignorance. Carve scriptures into each delicacy of your brain so you wouldn’t have to dwell in such misery every day. Wire faith to your blemished heart.   Imbue purity to your sullied soul. If I could, I would write you through all depths of insanity without any harm so that your mind no longer persists the thought of death. There was a time I thought you were dead. Only you were painted red in a black and white world. Like you have been walking barefoot on a broken road your whole life. Your demons imitate life And life imitates the demons. You are the one being tied down by invisible, nonexistent chains. So unaccepting of help that has come for you Watch   the sun touch the horizon reach the meeting of sun and ground and Find further still, The limits you would like to reach only run from you. You have such a murderous tongue for society   people. But one day I hope to see you write yourself into existence Rather than to let yourself drown in it. Why has you dying become something so habitual? Darling, death is not a friend of yours Nor are you a friend of his. But I know of your frequent dates with death Tell me Does his neck feel like happiness And do his lips relieve you of your suffocation Now are you lost? or are you found? Do you recognize the irony   Of the most terrifying things happening in the most angelic places Charm yourself upon that bridge Whose lights light up the city in golden arrays With a glazed look you’d think. In sadness seen go by You are charmed by either war or hope. These occurred robberies have taken much But they left opportunity Important people And a moon in your window A future that only you know the ending of   And a slice of the midnight sky. So it goes.
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62
He lets her touch him intimately, without emotion                         when in some pretext she is alone, in his cubicle with him, discussing  things inane,                      a software environs need not be  concerned some times when she passes through,                      her longing crosses limits, these days it has become frequent, to the extent others to  notice.                     she found silly excuses, fifth time this morning but he can't hurt her feeling, a team member valued,                       she contributes to his success, as the team leader   He can see her need for comfort,                under her tired eyes dark shadows of sleepiness   lay curled like a depressed mongrel,                      yet another duel she had with that nincompoop    she calls her husband, all through last night;                       a sudden pang he feels calls his wife   asks if she is fine, to ease his guilt that raises                         its head like  a snake from under the cover of grass.   "A housewife has a thousand things to do, why don't you                       find a buxom colleague to flirt, if that is the need"   she banters and teases him on his illogical concerns.                       Through the glass parting he discreetly watches her face    heard a murmur arising inside,"the ***** plans the next move"                            panicked he tried to concentrate on the screen    that looked frightening, the deadline getting nearer and nearer                        by each hour, he heard the heavy foot fall   at that moment he heard a thud, as if something fell down                       everyone was running towards her workstation.
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May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 10:04 AM UTC
The burden
He lets her touch him intimately, without emotion                         when in some pretext she is alone, in his cubicle with him, discussing  things inane,                      a software environs need not be  concerned some times when she passes through,                      her longing crosses limits, these days it has become frequent, to the extent others to  notice.                     she found silly excuses, fifth time this morning but he can't hurt her feeling, a team member valued,                       she contributes to his success, as the team leader   He can see her need for comfort,                under her tired eyes dark shadows of sleepiness   lay curled like a depressed mongrel,                      yet another duel she had with that nincompoop    she calls her husband, all through last night;                       a sudden pang he feels calls his wife   asks if she is fine, to ease his guilt that raises                         its head like  a snake from under the cover of grass.   "A housewife has a thousand things to do, why don't you                       find a buxom colleague to flirt, if that is the need"   she banters and teases him on his illogical concerns.                       Through the glass parting he discreetly watches her face    heard a murmur arising inside,"the ***** plans the next move"                            panicked he tried to concentrate on the screen    that looked frightening, the deadline getting nearer and nearer                        by each hour, he heard the heavy foot fall   at that moment he heard a thud, as if something fell down                       everyone was running towards her workstation.
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28
I frequent a little taco stand Every time that I'm out west With Elvis behind the counter Dressed in his leathers best Janice Joplin doing dishes With Southern Comfort breath Arguing with fry cook Jim Morrison Over the best way of cheating death Jimi Hendrix works the tables That they have set up out front Recommending the mushroom taco With the psychedelic crunch Marilyn Monroe...the entertainment Nightly serenades the gents While wearing here favorite T-shirt Bobby Kennedy for president I highly recommend the little taco stand If you ever find yourself out West Who's going to show up to take your order that day Could be anybody's guess
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Aug 14, 2013
Aug 14, 2013 at 7:51 AM UTC
Mid-Western Taco Stand
The Miner, Absolom (a haibun) green hill where sheep graze white bones and coal, buried, held seasons all the same My grandfather worked in the mines from age thirteen to seventy. His life was closed in by mountains, the green one at the back, the dark looming one at the front and the pit head along the valley., winding the men in and out of the shaft, day after day, dawn until dusk when they came home singing boots ring on the road deep valley voices echo backyard starlit smoke . They worked on their bellies or crouched, often in water for days, water that undermines rock. Shaft collapses where frequent. Life was cheap. He came home covered in coal dust to his wife and two sons, sons he was determined to keep out of the mines. Yet he loved that coal - coal that he always polished with care before lighting a fire, brushing dust off black diamond surfaces. water breaks through rock with wood and straining shoulders man becomes the beam He saved twenty lives that day, men he had known from boyhood. When his lungs were affected they laid him off, no pay, no pension, no life. He bought an insurance book with the money he had and every day he trudged over the mountains and valleys gathering pennies that would help to secure some livelihood to the widows who lost their men in the mines. He never told his wife that when a family couldn't pay he put the pennies in for them rather than leave them unprotected. winter, summer, fall the mountain hangs over all tired to the backbone When the mines were nationalised my grandfather went straight back to the coal face despite his age. He wasn't going to miss those days of glory. Safety was suddenly the watchword and changes were made very fast. Hot showers were installed at the pit head and the miners came home clean at last. men stripped to the skin hot water, steam, baptised brothers singing hymns
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Jun 13, 2014
Jun 13, 2014 at 9:25 PM UTC
The Miner, Absolom
The Miner, Absolom (a haibun) green hill where sheep graze white bones and coal, buried, held seasons all the same My grandfather worked in the mines from age thirteen to seventy. His life was closed in by mountains, the green one at the back, the dark looming one at the front and the pit head along the valley., winding the men in and out of the shaft, day after day, dawn until dusk when they came home singing boots ring on the road deep valley voices echo backyard starlit smoke . They worked on their bellies or crouched, often in water for days, water that undermines rock. Shaft collapses where frequent. Life was cheap. He came home covered in coal dust to his wife and two sons, sons he was determined to keep out of the mines. Yet he loved that coal - coal that he always polished with care before lighting a fire, brushing dust off black diamond surfaces. water breaks through rock with wood and straining shoulders man becomes the beam He saved twenty lives that day, men he had known from boyhood. When his lungs were affected they laid him off, no pay, no pension, no life. He bought an insurance book with the money he had and every day he trudged over the mountains and valleys gathering pennies that would help to secure some livelihood to the widows who lost their men in the mines. He never told his wife that when a family couldn't pay he put the pennies in for them rather than leave them unprotected. winter, summer, fall the mountain hangs over all tired to the backbone When the mines were nationalised my grandfather went straight back to the coal face despite his age. He wasn't going to miss those days of glory. Safety was suddenly the watchword and changes were made very fast. Hot showers were installed at the pit head and the miners came home clean at last. men stripped to the skin hot water, steam, baptised brothers singing hymns
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23
Owl listened to Goose's secrets Fishy could always use a smile Duckie flew into many a dream Cat lurked when the sun was high Bear always gave the best hugs Giraffe knew the summer's joys Chipmunk shared in equal annoyances Yet, Goose befriended them all Owl was wise Fishy was mellow Duckie was comforting Cat was kind Bear was understanding Giraffe was a laugh Chipmunk was encouraging And Goose loved them all Duckie, Cat, Bear and Giraffe all frequent the same little niche Fishy swims down the street from Chipmunk's tree Owl and Goose fly in similar circles And where would each be, without the other Our animal friends, Or one another
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Jan 27, 2010
Jan 27, 2010 at 11:23 AM UTC
Animal Niche
Body Two bodies, in a bed, on a quilt in a field, in the backseat of an '88 Nissan Pathfinder. Two bodies, touching, squeezing, caressing, biting. Blood, pooling under the skin, rushing to the brain, rushing to the genitals, sticky/hot. ****** candy, the curve of lips around a lollipop, the drinking of whiskey from the bottle, the burning sensation of MDMA insufflation. Clothes strewn across your mother's kitchen, ice cubes traced down spines, ******* ******** Oral *** with ice cubes in the mouth. Frequent ************ and a sense of unwellbeing, if you'll allow me this one usage of an unword (I can't help myself)
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Jun 29, 2015
Jun 29, 2015 at 3:47 PM UTC
A Portrait of the Artist Desiring ****** Touch.
Here, now, summer is synonymous with loneliness, Scorching heat with empty houses and empty driveways. In a few hours, your room with a future lost Out of my own free will, And the beach we used to frequent will be synonymous with the ghosts of hope and a lover scorned. I called my uncle today and I almost cried. His voice is synonymous with love unconditional and pure, As he half-jokingly admits that he loves me more than my siblings Because When I was young and sat on his shoulders and drooled on his hair, I was synonymous with daughter years before he had his own. As I text my friends, snort at their jokes and cringe at their mistakes, I wonder What am I synonymous with?
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Jul 19, 2018
Jul 19, 2018 at 1:42 PM UTC
Synonyms
I'm barefoot in 46 degrees and I must remember that my perception of things must not encapsulate how I truly perceive. Soldered commentary is bleak but is all I've left, all my years have given me and my years have been few. To be constantly bombarded with the question, "what is it that I really want?" is fervently exhausting and consistently hypocritical and I'm a hack. The conclusion is always that I'm a hack without a win to present or a failure to fall back upon. As a hack, I've left myself with very few plans to alter or hungry mindsets to feed. After glistening the only thing that remains is to burn out and the thought of extinguishing so prematurely provokes a physical falter and frequent respiratory failure. Ask your brother if he lingers at times. Ask your sister if sometimes, she means what she says and she should always say no. Ask your friends why you should be anyone's friend and whether or not the chance to swing into hyperbolic criticism ever affects how they make their choices, hoof their steps. Their answer should always be no and their input should always be invaluable. Ask yourself if brain power should always be set to alter mind power and ask yourself is alteration is ever even possible. The answer should always be no. The conclusion to draw should always be his. The choices you make, always expert and ground out by consistent respiratory failure. Ask yourself if you'll always be an animal and when will that stop. Ask yourself if time will determine whether or not this "thing" is worth doing or this "thing" is worth composing. Ask yourself why you're not the young girl who sings soul on the street, whose tremble sets off car alarms and inner requisitioning. The answer will never be the same.
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Feb 11, 2014
Feb 11, 2014 at 5:08 AM UTC
Moving Muscles
I'm barefoot in 46 degrees and I must remember that my perception of things must not encapsulate how I truly perceive. Soldered commentary is bleak but is all I've left, all my years have given me and my years have been few. To be constantly bombarded with the question, "what is it that I really want?" is fervently exhausting and consistently hypocritical and I'm a hack. The conclusion is always that I'm a hack without a win to present or a failure to fall back upon. As a hack, I've left myself with very few plans to alter or hungry mindsets to feed. After glistening the only thing that remains is to burn out and the thought of extinguishing so prematurely provokes a physical falter and frequent respiratory failure. Ask your brother if he lingers at times. Ask your sister if sometimes, she means what she says and she should always say no. Ask your friends why you should be anyone's friend and whether or not the chance to swing into hyperbolic criticism ever affects how they make their choices, hoof their steps. Their answer should always be no and their input should always be invaluable. Ask yourself if brain power should always be set to alter mind power and ask yourself is alteration is ever even possible. The answer should always be no. The conclusion to draw should always be his. The choices you make, always expert and ground out by consistent respiratory failure. Ask yourself if you'll always be an animal and when will that stop. Ask yourself if time will determine whether or not this "thing" is worth doing or this "thing" is worth composing. Ask yourself why you're not the young girl who sings soul on the street, whose tremble sets off car alarms and inner requisitioning. The answer will never be the same.
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