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"frazzled" poems
Oh how I hate this time of year, with the stupid songs and holiday cheer... Annoying bell ringers outside the store, and the tacky wreaths hanging on the door. Cardboard calendars filled with waxy treats, ice and snow making death traps of streets. Frazzled parents spending more then they should on entitled kids who are far from good. Fake smiles & wishes in the "spirit" of it all, the empty shelves- the crowds at the mall. The hour long line to see Santa the phony who falsely promises an x-box or a pony. Having to gather with family who annoy, gifting another cheap Chinese-made toy. Fire hazards strung with tinsel and lights, tensions leading to fun Christmas fights! Secret Santas- holiday parties for work- ugly sweaters making you look like a **** The stress of having an enormous list and a tiny budget just makes me ****** No, nothing seems jolly or merry or bright... Oh how I can't wait till post-Christmas night!
0
Dec 7, 2017
Dec 7, 2017 at 9:24 PM UTC
F-Mas
the amount of melanin in my skin often seems to conjure up some controversy so when I sit down to write and I see my hands, my light skinned not quite black but surely not white hands I think about the privileges thrusted upon me and when I begin to write I feel my hair against my back, my curly ***** but not quite ***** hair I wonder how what's on my head could make what's in it so frazzled I often frustrate myself because I feel like my writing often centers around the fact that I am a woman and I am colored and the fact that when I say I'm colored some look lost in fact, in the film, for colored girls Thandie Newton's character says "being alive and being a woman is all I got, but being colored is a metaphysical dilemma I haven't conquered yet." and I found it frightening how relatable that was to me, being that I'm not quite almost a woman and not quite almost colored but when I look at my poems they reflect that I indeed am even though I'm lightskinned and I'm 16 and according to my white friends I'm, just like them because, as I've discovered our definitions of what a black girl sounds like and acts like and is like are extremely different and I guess that reflects on who we've been introduced to I have cousins and aunts and grandmothers and sisters who represent what I believe emulate what a black woman is and these white kids see what the media feeds about how black women walk and talk and act and lack see when I picture a black woman I see beautiful smooth chocolate skin full lips round ******* wide hips and a smile as brilliant as her mind when these kids picture a black woman they see ***** hair dark undesirable skin soup cooler lips and a mind filled with ignorance and this is where my struggle begins But in every ethnic group there is good and bad and I am sick of black women only being associated with the bad the fact that when most non blacks think of what a black woman is, they imagine an unintelligible mindless sassy loud mouth is over whelming to me if you're skin isn't light enough or your behind isn't big enough you're only "pretty for a black girl" I not only want to raise but destroy all expectations society gives black women but I cannot do this alone because we are smart and we are beautiful we are troubled and we are strong and we are one once we stop tearing eachother down we can all be one and I'm not sure why god blessed black women with so much beauty or why I'm so blessed to be one or why he put this determination in me but I think I will recognize it the day the world recognizes how beautiful are we.
0
Dec 31, 2013
Dec 31, 2013 at 4:20 AM UTC
We are One (For Colored Girls)
the amount of melanin in my skin often seems to conjure up some controversy so when I sit down to write and I see my hands, my light skinned not quite black but surely not white hands I think about the privileges thrusted upon me and when I begin to write I feel my hair against my back, my curly ***** but not quite ***** hair I wonder how what's on my head could make what's in it so frazzled I often frustrate myself because I feel like my writing often centers around the fact that I am a woman and I am colored and the fact that when I say I'm colored some look lost in fact, in the film, for colored girls Thandie Newton's character says "being alive and being a woman is all I got, but being colored is a metaphysical dilemma I haven't conquered yet." and I found it frightening how relatable that was to me, being that I'm not quite almost a woman and not quite almost colored but when I look at my poems they reflect that I indeed am even though I'm lightskinned and I'm 16 and according to my white friends I'm, just like them because, as I've discovered our definitions of what a black girl sounds like and acts like and is like are extremely different and I guess that reflects on who we've been introduced to I have cousins and aunts and grandmothers and sisters who represent what I believe emulate what a black woman is and these white kids see what the media feeds about how black women walk and talk and act and lack see when I picture a black woman I see beautiful smooth chocolate skin full lips round ******* wide hips and a smile as brilliant as her mind when these kids picture a black woman they see ***** hair dark undesirable skin soup cooler lips and a mind filled with ignorance and this is where my struggle begins But in every ethnic group there is good and bad and I am sick of black women only being associated with the bad the fact that when most non blacks think of what a black woman is, they imagine an unintelligible mindless sassy loud mouth is over whelming to me if you're skin isn't light enough or your behind isn't big enough you're only "pretty for a black girl" I not only want to raise but destroy all expectations society gives black women but I cannot do this alone because we are smart and we are beautiful we are troubled and we are strong and we are one once we stop tearing eachother down we can all be one and I'm not sure why god blessed black women with so much beauty or why I'm so blessed to be one or why he put this determination in me but I think I will recognize it the day the world recognizes how beautiful are we.
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26
I used to find myself in the reflection of that water, And cleans myself of troubled thoughts At rivers bend , claim name as abandon daughter, I whispered into every tear my shame and greatest fears, That after all these years that I had made it clear That no love was real, and that I should persevere. To have my heart torn out, torn before me. I soothed it’s hot wounds in the lapping wake In the ripples that my teardrops make Examined as the flesh grew mark, Record each pain in pink puckered scar. I used to find myself in the reflection of that water, Strip bear my inhabitations lay bare to naked skin, Laugh at indiscretion, death, and fear when I dove in. Dove down into the waters where silence overtook, To noise and sleepy slumber of the flowing living brook. I used to concentrate on beauty and the confidence life took, And drown my insecurities and grin at boys who looked. I used to find myself in the reflection of that water, In the moons bright light astride the bank when summer nights grew hotter. I used to let the water pull me to the center of myself, Let it hold onto me when I was lost to everybody else, I used to sing it lullaby’s , until I found myself, Now I’m getting older, they say the waters gotten cold, And I have gotten harder but that I have gotten bold, And I know I’m apt at swimming but there are some Bridges I have known, but sometimes I think of running water Over my frayed and frazzled soul. But a storm is coming closer with terror in its clouds, Hiding in shrouds of chaos , with rain that’s falling down, It’s tearing away the sandy banks and washed my water out. It took away some part of me and held it tell it drown. I wonder what I can see of myself in the wake of all this change, Now all that’s left to do, is start wading through the pains. And fallow thoughts that whisper “if I see myself the same”, And I’ll remember I used to find myself In the reflection of that water, How much she cared for me And how much I was taught there And how everything has changed. But I have left my mark there.
0
Nov 8, 2012
Nov 8, 2012 at 7:47 PM UTC
In the reflection of that water
I used to find myself in the reflection of that water, And cleans myself of troubled thoughts At rivers bend , claim name as abandon daughter, I whispered into every tear my shame and greatest fears, That after all these years that I had made it clear That no love was real, and that I should persevere. To have my heart torn out, torn before me. I soothed it’s hot wounds in the lapping wake In the ripples that my teardrops make Examined as the flesh grew mark, Record each pain in pink puckered scar. I used to find myself in the reflection of that water, Strip bear my inhabitations lay bare to naked skin, Laugh at indiscretion, death, and fear when I dove in. Dove down into the waters where silence overtook, To noise and sleepy slumber of the flowing living brook. I used to concentrate on beauty and the confidence life took, And drown my insecurities and grin at boys who looked. I used to find myself in the reflection of that water, In the moons bright light astride the bank when summer nights grew hotter. I used to let the water pull me to the center of myself, Let it hold onto me when I was lost to everybody else, I used to sing it lullaby’s , until I found myself, Now I’m getting older, they say the waters gotten cold, And I have gotten harder but that I have gotten bold, And I know I’m apt at swimming but there are some Bridges I have known, but sometimes I think of running water Over my frayed and frazzled soul. But a storm is coming closer with terror in its clouds, Hiding in shrouds of chaos , with rain that’s falling down, It’s tearing away the sandy banks and washed my water out. It took away some part of me and held it tell it drown. I wonder what I can see of myself in the wake of all this change, Now all that’s left to do, is start wading through the pains. And fallow thoughts that whisper “if I see myself the same”, And I’ll remember I used to find myself In the reflection of that water, How much she cared for me And how much I was taught there And how everything has changed. But I have left my mark there.
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42
entice me with your language not your body but your soul ****** me with your words sounds of trumpets as a whole words, rolling off your tongue like Dew on blades of grass not the typical talk and whispers of your amazing *** challenge me and contradict please lets keep this real do not agree on everything nevertheless of how you feel see your mind is what is left, and ultimately the hook lets talk of music, art and good times past and maybe even a book ****** me with your cleverness caress me with your wit to hear such entrancing thoughts has left me quite a bit - entangled in your uneasy tone, but frazzled evermore completely distraught on how you taught me to leave things at the door make love to my deepest thoughts, delusions, and desires for that excites me more than all the daring red hot fires
0
Mar 21, 2013
Mar 21, 2013 at 5:16 AM UTC
****** me with your mind
Silence. That’s the First thing you Can hear. The sil Ence is just so loud, So real, so close, so true, What everyone needs sometimes. That’s my favourite part of being there, Underwater. The world passes away, and You can hear yourself thinking again. You can just simply: Be. For once. The feeling of oblivion, the pressure of Unreleased air, the escaping Bubbles to the top Of the pool, ocean, lake, The clear water with sunlight Shining through the depths till it Reaches you, the feeling of Oneness with the world Its past, its present Its uncertain future, the Feeling that everything will be okay No matter how hard it seems now. The Feeling of weightlessness as your hair undulates Through the clear water, your body buoyant, your mind Finally clear. The stillness that overtakes your very Soul as you stay at the bottom, holding on with All your might, not wanting the moment To ever pass, knowing it has to even As you hope you can breathe, Impossible as it seems. The stillness Permeating every aspect of your being, from Your previously weighed down limbs to your dancing Hair to your stressed mind to your frazzled soul, giving the Much needed calm from a busy day. Pushing off the Depths, feeling the sunlight get stronger, the sur Face grow closer, feeling the nostalgia to your Second home where you can see clearly, Even with your eyes shut tight, your Breath held. Where you are you. Underwater.
0
May 17, 2012
May 17, 2012 at 9:42 PM UTC
Underwater
I am an altar boy inside the Church of Continuous Wasted Opportunities. Smell that pungent incense? It is most definitely all that it seems to be. This God’s gift to mankind is what the three wise men were really trafficking—bringing forth a dank Exodus unto the Savior’s parents. They didn’t inhale the serpent’s lure, of course. Rejoice, one and all, across the land! Hallelujah, all ye indigo children of the desert! Now, a reading from the Book of Wardo, verse four, passage twenty: “And it was told that the ancient Aryana region would offer up such magical wonderment, derived from the sacred Kush bush, assisting the holiest disciples who prefer a mystically passive respite—for these blessed aficionados represent the completely frazzled and yet cautiously chosen few.”
0
Jul 26, 2014
Jul 26, 2014 at 4:46 PM UTC
Four-Twenty Is My Three-Sixteen
Our brains are jellied by the surreal. Wires disconnected, rearranged, our circuit boards frazzled. The reflections of human faces and bodies scrambled signals. Eyes not looking past the crooked fingers or freckles. All you see is the dirt, the rust, you can hear only the creaking joints, and the groans of your muscles. But your audience, your lovers and families, they don't know about those awful sounds they only see the flowers, hear the music, a melody of glowing bare shoulders and a chest filled with life, a hundred systems, working in unison to hold up your head. I never liked the way my hips stuck out, my ribs, flesh pulled taught against the bones. Or my pale skin, I glow in the sunshine. Baking soda, salt, awful tasting elements alone, but they both get mixed into the batter, overpowered by golden eggs, sinful sugars, and the cake itself, baking soda and all, well, it's ******* delicious.
0
Dec 7, 2013
Dec 7, 2013 at 4:34 PM UTC
Mixtures, Concoctions, a Symphony.
in the brightest corner of the forest trees, rested a gentle and pure autumn leaf he never quite asked much for anything just water and a home from his strong tree but alas! winter was close to being the season the leaf heard from the tree that he had to leave it stunned with deep worry, the leaf begged for a reason but the leaf heard the tree and he had to believe it so one by one, the little leaf observed his friends being ripped from the branches to their curious ends but this leaf stayed strong, he did not waver or pretend yes, the leaf stayed strong, he was the last one left but alas! the wind came along and asked the leaf why: "why do you stay here when the days have gone awry? pretty soon, dear friend, you'll have to say goodbye make it easy on yourself and don't live a lie" the leaf replied: "you would not believe all i've seen my friends, they've all left, and i'm left here to grieve i cling to my home, you see, i have to believe that i'm more than a passing, more than a leaf" the wind answered with a startling gust: "is it the tree you believe and not me you trust? you'll be fine, dear friend, you will not turn to dust it is a new life, you'll see, but you will adjust" the leaf retorted, with a shake of his sides: "i'm afraid for my home, my friends and my life wherever i may go, will i make there all right? the world is so big and i'm in such a fright" the wind replied, "the world is never perfect at times we must leave that which makes us certain the harder our path, the longer we must search it this home will belong to others; they soon will learn it" the tree, trying to sleep, finally awoke from its dream "dear leaf, don't you know, you must let go of me? we've had some great times, but i will soon freeze we must part ways; i will have other leaves" the leaf became frazzled, fed up with his options he changed colors for the tree; the tree didn't want him "why did i spend all these months to be forgotten, to be cast out so lonely, afraid and unwanted?" the wind said, "fear not, dear friend, you may feel lonely now but i am wherever you are, and i won't let you down i am your new home, and when you feel me around just know i'm with you, and i'll lift you off the ground" the leaf resolved with a steady hesitation he had lost many friends but gained one with patience "i am still uncertain but i trust my realization that new beginnings are endings of greater elation" so in the brightest corner of the forest trees, floated away a gentle and pure autumn leaf where he was to go, he couldn't say with certainty but he had the wind to carry him, and that was all he'd need
0
Aug 15, 2014
Aug 15, 2014 at 2:36 AM UTC
Letting Go (for Joe Cole)
in the brightest corner of the forest trees, rested a gentle and pure autumn leaf he never quite asked much for anything just water and a home from his strong tree but alas! winter was close to being the season the leaf heard from the tree that he had to leave it stunned with deep worry, the leaf begged for a reason but the leaf heard the tree and he had to believe it so one by one, the little leaf observed his friends being ripped from the branches to their curious ends but this leaf stayed strong, he did not waver or pretend yes, the leaf stayed strong, he was the last one left but alas! the wind came along and asked the leaf why: "why do you stay here when the days have gone awry? pretty soon, dear friend, you'll have to say goodbye make it easy on yourself and don't live a lie" the leaf replied: "you would not believe all i've seen my friends, they've all left, and i'm left here to grieve i cling to my home, you see, i have to believe that i'm more than a passing, more than a leaf" the wind answered with a startling gust: "is it the tree you believe and not me you trust? you'll be fine, dear friend, you will not turn to dust it is a new life, you'll see, but you will adjust" the leaf retorted, with a shake of his sides: "i'm afraid for my home, my friends and my life wherever i may go, will i make there all right? the world is so big and i'm in such a fright" the wind replied, "the world is never perfect at times we must leave that which makes us certain the harder our path, the longer we must search it this home will belong to others; they soon will learn it" the tree, trying to sleep, finally awoke from its dream "dear leaf, don't you know, you must let go of me? we've had some great times, but i will soon freeze we must part ways; i will have other leaves" the leaf became frazzled, fed up with his options he changed colors for the tree; the tree didn't want him "why did i spend all these months to be forgotten, to be cast out so lonely, afraid and unwanted?" the wind said, "fear not, dear friend, you may feel lonely now but i am wherever you are, and i won't let you down i am your new home, and when you feel me around just know i'm with you, and i'll lift you off the ground" the leaf resolved with a steady hesitation he had lost many friends but gained one with patience "i am still uncertain but i trust my realization that new beginnings are endings of greater elation" so in the brightest corner of the forest trees, floated away a gentle and pure autumn leaf where he was to go, he couldn't say with certainty but he had the wind to carry him, and that was all he'd need
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52
She had a frazzled sort of look about her. Wispy hair fell into her eyes which were watering from the allergies she often complained about, the ones that caused her nosebleeds so heavy, she'd nearly faint from blood loss. But beneath her red eyes and curly hair was this pale, pink cheeked girl who listened to punk and wrinkled her nose. She was like an antique. Something worn down, beautiful and full of secrets and memories, that you'd find under a pile of books in a dark corner. She was sarcastic, flighty and judgmental, constantly angry with the world and culture that she'd been ****** into. She spent all her time forcing beauty and laughter into people's lives so they wouldn't see the shattered pieces of the world and subsequently herself that she tried to hide behind her back. Others might see this as sly or deceitful but it wasn't. Her lies were the selfless kind, if such exist. She wanted to protect people from the world that wore her down so cruelly and quickly, she became an antique person by the age of fifteen. This frazzled, determined, lovely girl may not change the world, but she changed my life.
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Jul 10, 2013
Jul 10, 2013 at 12:01 AM UTC
Part of a Book I'll Never Write
"That's it! I'll take it to the scissors myself!" Mangled, wrangled, tangled mess, meandering tendrils coil and cross, clump. Split ends, knots so impossibly tied the eagle scout is left bewildered, sun damage: fried, frizzled, frazzled, frayed. Broken teeth in a gasping comb, choking brushes enveloped in the furling mess, hairspray, fruitless, face it: (Another) Bad Hair Day. "That's it! Today's the day!" The call is made, the appointment scheduled, you sit and wait. X's mark the calendar, the day is nigh, your do's judgement day is at hand. It's time to settle this. The day before, you wake up, absentmindedly getting dressed, drudging through routine, mirror's the last thing you see. Crusty eyes suddenly open wide, as split ends seal and knots unfurl, sun damage heals and combs sing ceaselessly. The day is met with a new life, and the dark days of yore seem like a past life, as this sunny day seems like all there is. You laugh at what now appears to be such trivialities, "Twas a bad hair day! And merely so!" You allow yourself such a shallow deception. Your hand grabs the phone, your fingers make the call, your voice makes the cancellation-- "How could I have been so foolish to resort to such measures?!" You hang up and scoff at yourself, a hearty laugh in jest at such hastiness, tossing and swishing your luscious mane to and fro. You allow it to slip through your fingers, on the cusp of the cure, as the bad hair days truly outnumber the good (you know it to be so). For the next day will come-- You'll greet the mirror with that heart-wrenching sigh, in visible anguish at the chaotic mess that encroaches upon your head. Don't let a good hair day fool you; make the call.
0
Jun 2, 2016
Jun 2, 2016 at 12:13 AM UTC
Good Hair Day
"That's it! I'll take it to the scissors myself!" Mangled, wrangled, tangled mess, meandering tendrils coil and cross, clump. Split ends, knots so impossibly tied the eagle scout is left bewildered, sun damage: fried, frizzled, frazzled, frayed. Broken teeth in a gasping comb, choking brushes enveloped in the furling mess, hairspray, fruitless, face it: (Another) Bad Hair Day. "That's it! Today's the day!" The call is made, the appointment scheduled, you sit and wait. X's mark the calendar, the day is nigh, your do's judgement day is at hand. It's time to settle this. The day before, you wake up, absentmindedly getting dressed, drudging through routine, mirror's the last thing you see. Crusty eyes suddenly open wide, as split ends seal and knots unfurl, sun damage heals and combs sing ceaselessly. The day is met with a new life, and the dark days of yore seem like a past life, as this sunny day seems like all there is. You laugh at what now appears to be such trivialities, "Twas a bad hair day! And merely so!" You allow yourself such a shallow deception. Your hand grabs the phone, your fingers make the call, your voice makes the cancellation-- "How could I have been so foolish to resort to such measures?!" You hang up and scoff at yourself, a hearty laugh in jest at such hastiness, tossing and swishing your luscious mane to and fro. You allow it to slip through your fingers, on the cusp of the cure, as the bad hair days truly outnumber the good (you know it to be so). For the next day will come-- You'll greet the mirror with that heart-wrenching sigh, in visible anguish at the chaotic mess that encroaches upon your head. Don't let a good hair day fool you; make the call.
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42
“Don’t you give up on me,” was the comment you made when you looked in my weary brown eyes. I felt you on a whole other level, that came to fruition because of your truth. I feel something for you that I’ve never felt before, it’s foreign to me and I want to learn your native language. I am grooving to the vibes you send only to me, and my ultimate desire is learning to move, privately to your passionate embrace. Melting like dark brown sugar every time I see your face, I find it quite amazing how you are able to read me, just by feeling my inward thoughts and my frazzled emotions. I can feel the softness in your spirit, it drives your intent to make Me your woman and sealed my fate to bond our heart. You are the King of my heart; mind, body and soul. My special magician and the only man, who can pull my heart strings and summon me into your lair. After we talked about our feelings, I closed my eyes and felt what you felt. Ripples of emotions flooded through me, raining; spring, summer, fall and winter. These seasons of change have a rippling effect, of passionate thoughts and compassionate dreams. I feel you everywhere inside of me, these vibes we share are pure electricity. When you told me don’t give up on you, you made me feel like melted brown sugar. A sweet dark potion that was only for you, that only you my King, will sample from. We share this intensity that can be felt across oceans, an intensity that radiates and fills the gaps, that unlucky fools have thrown away. You make me melt like honey in tea, that soothes my heart and eases my mind.
0
Jan 29, 2021
Jan 29, 2021 at 10:43 PM UTC
Melted Brown Sugar
“Don’t you give up on me,” was the comment you made when you looked in my weary brown eyes. I felt you on a whole other level, that came to fruition because of your truth. I feel something for you that I’ve never felt before, it’s foreign to me and I want to learn your native language. I am grooving to the vibes you send only to me, and my ultimate desire is learning to move, privately to your passionate embrace. Melting like dark brown sugar every time I see your face, I find it quite amazing how you are able to read me, just by feeling my inward thoughts and my frazzled emotions. I can feel the softness in your spirit, it drives your intent to make Me your woman and sealed my fate to bond our heart. You are the King of my heart; mind, body and soul. My special magician and the only man, who can pull my heart strings and summon me into your lair. After we talked about our feelings, I closed my eyes and felt what you felt. Ripples of emotions flooded through me, raining; spring, summer, fall and winter. These seasons of change have a rippling effect, of passionate thoughts and compassionate dreams. I feel you everywhere inside of me, these vibes we share are pure electricity. When you told me don’t give up on you, you made me feel like melted brown sugar. A sweet dark potion that was only for you, that only you my King, will sample from. We share this intensity that can be felt across oceans, an intensity that radiates and fills the gaps, that unlucky fools have thrown away. You make me melt like honey in tea, that soothes my heart and eases my mind.
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25
Busted lips. Frazzled spirits. Hollow eyes. Promises full of lies.
0
Oct 16, 2014
Oct 16, 2014 at 6:00 PM UTC
Promises (10w)
Our beginning is totally cliche and overused High school acquaintances, both moved to start a career A friend request you sent, by my bubbly nature I accepted Conversing you persuaded me into tossing out my digits Completely engulfed, a strong friendship we made Life struggles, we conquered in the first week of dating Fast pace, we were cruising and agreed, "hey let's get married" Two weeks it took to say I do Life smacks us hard, we never miss our groove Babies, babies, changing your direction Glance into your heart, how profound it is to be parenting You were not ready to be a daddy Your ego grew and I always forgave you Young, drunk and dumb was your history Separated and unplanned, awaken you became You still wanted control and I said here take chunks of my energy Now frazzled and drained, I am on the brink of leaving Blurred, I only see spotty portraits of that white cake The sweet taste smudged against my face and the way you licked your lips Time loves to cause a stampede with memories Brush the hair from my eyes, I feel the hail falling as I cry Is this what "and they lived happily ever after" means
0
May 7, 2016
May 7, 2016 at 2:37 PM UTC
My definition of marriage
so kindled in sear summer July, Upheaval churning in my most stoic feeling frazzled, I am, Thank GOD for Good Riddance- putting on a thinking cap And my Good Instincts prevails..     Brooding over and praying in silence-        PEACE and Faith too ; sustained my intertwined... guts good 'ole meshed up toiled my life.                    Like a web-gathering digging out into knitted vine..                      Gotta dance w/ grace even if someone ogling..                        actin' out like zilch..                         out there mesmerizing. Give it all out for sake o' Inamorata                     And fervor like ne'er be in paroxysm, a day or two ..                 Rhyme with the melody o' songs             And Sing it all out on top o' my lungs       like there's no one's eavesdropping Amusingly enough as I wantonly be wanted And feel hurting no more,   Sleeping in minty pillows, sobbing no more...     At the time, eventide dusk comes,      That Beauty; rests indeed, bellows        Live and let live like it's a bed o' heavenly velvety Roses in this cauldron earth!.ensnared my thoughts together oftentimes,       Through waylay conflicts So akin to as DRAMA Momma!     That another can tote to my table.       Getting' along just fine witn MYself..       thus restore my sense of panoramic mindset; - my BLESSINGS- scrutiny on my studies and my cherub babes who cares as whippersnapper!     Thou Loves me more than        of enormous superficial stuffs-           things that won't last-             I'm in solitude for soul searching'.               I am of thy belief that everyone needs time... To just Be! @ peace with just MYself! J
0
Jul 30, 2011
Jul 30, 2011 at 11:38 AM UTC
In my solitude
so kindled in sear summer July, Upheaval churning in my most stoic feeling frazzled, I am, Thank GOD for Good Riddance- putting on a thinking cap And my Good Instincts prevails..     Brooding over and praying in silence-        PEACE and Faith too ; sustained my intertwined... guts good 'ole meshed up toiled my life.                    Like a web-gathering digging out into knitted vine..                      Gotta dance w/ grace even if someone ogling..                        actin' out like zilch..                         out there mesmerizing. Give it all out for sake o' Inamorata                     And fervor like ne'er be in paroxysm, a day or two ..                 Rhyme with the melody o' songs             And Sing it all out on top o' my lungs       like there's no one's eavesdropping Amusingly enough as I wantonly be wanted And feel hurting no more,   Sleeping in minty pillows, sobbing no more...     At the time, eventide dusk comes,      That Beauty; rests indeed, bellows        Live and let live like it's a bed o' heavenly velvety Roses in this cauldron earth!.ensnared my thoughts together oftentimes,       Through waylay conflicts So akin to as DRAMA Momma!     That another can tote to my table.       Getting' along just fine witn MYself..       thus restore my sense of panoramic mindset; - my BLESSINGS- scrutiny on my studies and my cherub babes who cares as whippersnapper!     Thou Loves me more than        of enormous superficial stuffs-           things that won't last-             I'm in solitude for soul searching'.               I am of thy belief that everyone needs time... To just Be! @ peace with just MYself! J
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I'm just watching tv Innocently engaged But I can't watch this anymore After seeing that woman's face It looked too much like my mother's... The shiny, porous skin... The red, wet, blue eyes The veins standing out Her hair, damp Frazzled Worried. I'm scared to remember her face. Sometimes, I really miss my mom. I miss her red cheeks, Her frizzy, fluffy brown hair Salted with grey... I miss the funny sweaters she used to wear so often The clogs she wore that clunked through the house The sound of her needles, Clinking together. I miss her handwriting... Her grocery lists Her almond-shaped nails The rough wrinkles on her knuckles Her pants with the funny elastic. And although I am almost 20 years old I can still remember how it felt To sit on her lap To have her arms encircle me, Hold me Protect me Love me. And though she's left me Shamed me Hated me Spit at me... I cannot forget how it felt To love my mother And to be loved back.
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Feb 20, 2013
Feb 20, 2013 at 11:36 PM UTC
My Mother's Face
Well, darling, we've surpassed 3 a.m. And 4 a.m....5 a.m....and 6... Talking about our life together, Only theoretically of course, And I haven't freaked out.  Even when You said the word "marriage," I didn't Blink an eye and I took it in stride. And when you said "children," I smiled; An image of dark haired babes screaming, Us two standing and laughing because We just don't know what the **** to do. My hair would be frazzled, hoisting one On my hip as I sing lullabies. And our toddler would be sitting On your lap, chattering as your eyes Widen, overwhelmed with her questions. How I love your dark beautiful eyes. I don't picture a white picket fence With a manicured lawn and flowers But I envision the two of us Becoming older and sassier. We are infinite for a while Until I wake up one fateful day And I realize that you have passed on. But I gather the grand-kids around And with a glimmer in my eye, I Tell our story sparing no details Because someone has to remember When I am dead and gone from the world. And when I close my eyes for the last Time, I smile and say: "Remember, Darling, when we were just pretending?" And my soul will depart my body, Find and join yours in our own heaven. So answer me and please be honest; Baby, will you live this dream with me?
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Jan 7, 2014
Jan 7, 2014 at 2:32 AM UTC
Pretending
my heart is a violin with too many strings play my heartstrings let your fingers pull my emotions rest your hand on the back of my neck i cannot make anything beautiful on my own but sweetheart you can make me sing so softly hold me close dear i'll always love you feel my skin, polished-smooth warm under your hands and know i'm yours calm my frazzled strings soothe my worn-out pegs, drawn tighter and tighter and tighter straining so deeply to hold the strings in place let me cling to you let me take solace and peace for but a few moments my heart is a violin with too many strings, played by too many people my strings have been drawn taught my body has grown tired my music has grown dull but with your gentle hands encompassing the surface of my heart i can learn to trust again i can learn to sing again and sweetheart i can sing so sweetly for you
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Apr 30, 2018
Apr 30, 2018 at 9:56 PM UTC
fragile - handle with care
The thousand dreams and burns and hopes and scars That crimson phantoms, deep within the skin Graze and raze with, betrayed by eyes like stars, Shift and ache. Too long I looked within For on this present dark’ning deathless day The thousand hearts of man so pierced my soul; I saw them all. Wild, frazzled from the fray, Dragging, too weighed by life’s relentless toll. Sweet sonder, teach me by the sky-wide sun The thousand lives that glow with redd’ning force, That burst like vineyard vats with seams undone, That reel like sea-lost ships that miss their course. But then that chilling truth in my mind fell: If I can read their hearts, they read mine as well.
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Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 2:16 PM UTC
Sweet Sonder
I try to tell myself that I am in control this time Hoping that you will feel some kind of wonderment or downhearted, one second thought about me I will not call you I will not give in I will not get my heart broken again I want to use you to show you how I felt But I can't Because despite all the disappointment and letdown I could never hurt you I could never ignore you Although while I am over here over analyzing and nearly overloading my cranium with what if's and thoughts You have the air of nonchalance and disinterestedness while you pop into my life again without warning Can you tell that you get me all frazzled? Is this purely for your own amusement? Why can't I figure you out. Why do you interest me so? Why do I feel like my connection to you is the strongest thing I have ever felt. No I must be naive and disillusioned Till the day I completely cease sparing my time and thoughts to you You will be the winner Even if it is a bad thought you are still consuming my mind Confusion and Love Spite and Wonder They all are the same Same being you
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Jul 14, 2013
Jul 14, 2013 at 5:50 AM UTC
Till the last thought
Dazzled, frazzled,  surprised, and scared are words that do describe how I feel when you're near me when we hug and our lips touch you see the real me I'm childish and I'm nervous I often get very jealous and I blush quite frequently I'm in love with you, with all my heart While you simply. Lust. For. Me We've shared such tender moments I sometimes think you care the slightest bit about me While my fingers run through your hair But then we've separated, once I felt so close and to my surprise I feel my hearts demise while the memories haunt me like ghosts. because we both said forever, only I had meant forever I will love you and strongly I'll lament and if I could change a single thing the only thing I'd say, to experience your love again is worth suffering this pain
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Oct 21, 2010
Oct 21, 2010 at 1:53 PM UTC
Time lapse
battered screws stripped bare by a hundred thousand terrible twists from an unsteady, inexperienced, or overly excited hand nearly rattling out of their proper positions, hanging rather loosely to the last threads of their holes. fan them as they dangle, fandangle! but a blue gust from beneath the anonymous and unidentifiable bursts the shriveled scraps of low-grade steel from their brittle perches and then one, two, threefourfivesixseventyeightmillion clatterings invade all audibility, heightening --- accentuating --- underscoring each miniscule soundwave                                                 until there is not much more than white noise, crack- ling like a ruddy transitor radio i probably never had but only equate it to for lack of another more proper, perhaps more appropriate, even more...profound (?) word, or, whatever; hardware indignationum! what abuses we dish these inanimates created by us for us!, and, yes, i follow all syncretic trends to their phenomenal (and fusional) morphological ends. if i didn't, how could i know the neutered from the neuterer? attend to the screws; the debased, bemused, once-bedazzled little bits strewn on the floor and frazzled. go on, get 'em up, up off the ground.
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Sep 26, 2012
Sep 26, 2012 at 1:27 PM UTC
i walked into the garage while having antiquated thoughts, only to find
This shady-bar gave you more ***** than mixer, cheap spirits & rot gut elixirs flowed, some did lines of flake on the teak. By eight, most dates were sloppy drunk, buzzed, frazzled to the gills, schmoozing the feline-walk, talking **** listening to Floyd or Skynyrd. It was a circus of sorts. Back in those days we called the cops 'fuzz', they'd make their rounds every couple of hours, it made it look like they were using tax-dollars wisely, but we students knew better, ******* establishment. The parking lot was a mix of racetrack & boxing ring. Cars jammed, roared, cruised, honked their way through the fistfights. Once, I saw two sweet-babes, real rough-cats scratch and claw themselves to near death. The flowered-blouse on one was ripped clean off, one of her ***** hung out, it looked bruised. Blood streamed down both of their faces, ruining their mascara. When I look back, it's quite amazing any of us survived that freaking place. Now come to think of it, the last time I saw my buddy Marcus was outside that nasty-drinking-establishment. He was ******* amongst the drunks & excrement. I really wonder how he survived, if he made it out of that city in one piece, alive.
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Dec 20, 2013
Dec 20, 2013 at 5:20 PM UTC
Fred's Backdoor (Drunks & Excrement)
you left me shattered like a battered up baseball the stitches are frazzled your eyes glossy and dazzled you lurked through the blue lagoon in search of the secret blue light to my heart i was alive and listening the harsh pounding of your heartbeat the pulsating of your veins in the brisk the sea was yelling and the sky was smoking hot we waited for them to intertwine and got ****** into the catastrophe the betrayal of our open wounds and founding fathers can we sink beneath the deep sea, just you and me?
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Jun 5, 2012
Jun 5, 2012 at 8:52 PM UTC
compromise
Flora and fauna hides the maze, In the concrete jungle of corporate race. Disarrayed and frazzled thou shall not, For thou shall seek a roadmap of top notch.
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Jun 28, 2012
Jun 28, 2012 at 11:34 AM UTC
Roadmap
I was twisting a water bottle Shredding the label with my fingernails And keeping it away from your enthusiastic dog I’d been here before And I would be here again Holding back tears as an unlikely friend held me together I had too many loose ends And you tied knots with an engineer’s efficiency For all your teasing I’d never realized you were a nice guy Taking me in like the silly wretch that I was And letting me stay until I felt I could hold my head up again I convinced myself I had you figured out Tall and tough but secretly compassionate A closet empath who impressively tossed words around a notebook page I let everything bouncing around in my head Tumble out into your scarred hands And I assumed you had done the same So that I could finally see the truth trapped in that lofty mind It’s funny I’ve come to realize that I never really knew you the way I thought I did You’ve always played a concealed hand Showing me the occasional queen of hearts But only when you wanted me to see It’s disappointing Because you know me too well I dissected my heart muscles so you could read the struggles scrawled across them Sitting in your kitchen All those days I showed you all the insecurities etched across my skin Raw and red and burning with the desperation To be noticed I wish I could have taken some of your scars In exchange for all my scribbles You patiently accepted all the scraps of myself I tossed at you And I wanted to return the favor I wanted to read whatever you had penned across your ventricles I wanted you to flay open your mind so that I might understand I may have wanted too much of you Forgetting that not everyone is a frenetic tangle of feelings Forgetting that I’m just a frazzled, insignificant girl Who wants to save the world on force of will alone Sitting in your kitchen From time to time You told me you believed in me So I believed I could do it I only wish I’d known enough to do the same for you
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Mar 28, 2011
Mar 28, 2011 at 5:02 PM UTC
I've Never Properly Thanked You
I was twisting a water bottle Shredding the label with my fingernails And keeping it away from your enthusiastic dog I’d been here before And I would be here again Holding back tears as an unlikely friend held me together I had too many loose ends And you tied knots with an engineer’s efficiency For all your teasing I’d never realized you were a nice guy Taking me in like the silly wretch that I was And letting me stay until I felt I could hold my head up again I convinced myself I had you figured out Tall and tough but secretly compassionate A closet empath who impressively tossed words around a notebook page I let everything bouncing around in my head Tumble out into your scarred hands And I assumed you had done the same So that I could finally see the truth trapped in that lofty mind It’s funny I’ve come to realize that I never really knew you the way I thought I did You’ve always played a concealed hand Showing me the occasional queen of hearts But only when you wanted me to see It’s disappointing Because you know me too well I dissected my heart muscles so you could read the struggles scrawled across them Sitting in your kitchen All those days I showed you all the insecurities etched across my skin Raw and red and burning with the desperation To be noticed I wish I could have taken some of your scars In exchange for all my scribbles You patiently accepted all the scraps of myself I tossed at you And I wanted to return the favor I wanted to read whatever you had penned across your ventricles I wanted you to flay open your mind so that I might understand I may have wanted too much of you Forgetting that not everyone is a frenetic tangle of feelings Forgetting that I’m just a frazzled, insignificant girl Who wants to save the world on force of will alone Sitting in your kitchen From time to time You told me you believed in me So I believed I could do it I only wish I’d known enough to do the same for you
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