entice me with your language
not your body but your soul
****** me with your words
sounds of trumpets as a whole
words, rolling off your tongue like Dew on blades of grass
not the typical talk and whispers of your amazing ***
challenge me and contradict
please lets keep this real
do not agree on everything
nevertheless of how you feel
see your mind is what is left, and ultimately the hook
lets talk of music, art and good times past and maybe even a book
****** me with your cleverness
caress me with your wit
to hear such entrancing thoughts has left me quite a bit - entangled in your uneasy tone, but frazzled evermore
completely distraught on how you taught me to leave things at the door
make love to my deepest thoughts, delusions, and desires
for that excites me more than all the daring red hot fires
Mar 21, 2013
Mar 21, 2013 at 5:16 AM UTC
If you stop for a moment and retract from life
you feel the tangible squeeze
the pull in the soul which endures torment
life itself can never be content
so i myself become disgusted at what happened
what is happening and what is going to be
nonchalant as it may seem to the focused mind
it becomes a painful wasteland of ignorance
ignorance is bliss
reality is pain
non-existence is faulty
Dec 16, 2012
Dec 16, 2012 at 7:35 AM UTC
i get it
i ******* up
i get it
im sorry
im sorry im not reserved and obedient
im sorry im not a genius
im sorry im not always polite and kind
but let's take a second and rewind
ive never been the smartest
or the most obedient
i dont know why you think that would change
or if you thought i'd rearrange my thoughts
and my mentality
let's face it - let's get back to reality
take off this blindfold that covers
the intense brutality
im not your perfect child
im not the kind loving daughter
people always try to change me
well stop-dont even bother
they say your personality is set at age twelve
well newsflash i've been like this since
way before then
and it is NOT going to change
then again.
maybe i do need to change
but theres only so much i can do
before i completely cease to exist.
see to exist is pain for others
so wouldn't it be better not to exist at all?
to cease to exist is what state i wish for
to sink in the depths
to fall through the floor
to melt out the windows
and drip through the pipes
if i were to cease to exist
it would ease all the strife
you wouldn't have to waste your breath
and i wouldn't be
"ruining the ******* family"
that tone of your voice tears at the very last
shred of composure my mind has to offer
i feel trapped and negated
call this a dramatic teenage "plea"
but i've been going through it for far more long than you know
see that brutal anxiety mocks me
as i try to
distract myself
maybe there is something wrong with me
eating inside my mind
this thought has always come to me
throughout this course of time
i wish to know why it haunts me
whatever did i do
because when i think of that moment
my mind splits into two
by better judgement and conscious out one window
and in comes through the door
visions of slaughter and violence
i am ashamed but can't ignore
****** maybe i am being over dramatic
well **** now i really don't know.
is there really something wrong with me?
i am evil.
so she says...
twists the words so that it's my fault
thats all i've ever thought
but maybe it's actually my fault
for not giving this a thought
i cant seem to deal with this.
cant melt or run or scream for this
God gave me these trials to go through,
but what if there isn't a God?
amateur. ****
horrible.
you are a ***
confused? you should be i am too.
im just writing what im feeling because lately its the best i can do.
music and writing- ill turn to you.
it seems you're the only one that doesn't try to change me.
maybe one day i'll change
for better
or for worse
but for now it will remain a mystery
Dec 7, 2012
Dec 7, 2012 at 4:27 AM UTC
My God if there's anyone
this question applies to
it's me.
I sprouted from a broken family tree
one branch is missing I'll never know who
one branch disappeared
all together Im *******
"is your last name perez?"
"is your last name linn?"
honestly where the hell do I even begin?
see I don't talk about it
i push it away
theres this place where i put it
and - yes,
im afraid
Its deep down inside
a never ending abyss
i push it and shove it like it doesn't exist
see it makes me furious
not to know my past
but time's running out
this ignorance can't last
whose blood line is it that
intertwines with mine?
pulsating through me
you too gave me life.
though i feel as if you didn't give me life
you actually took it away
cause when i asked about you
i was told you weren't welcomed to stay
who are you? who am I?
how could i believe i came from someone
who gave my mom a black eye
see i came from a broken family tree
but im hoping and praying
that it wont define me
cause after all these years you weren't there
not a glimpse of the man i knew didn't care
and it tears and wears at the center my heart
like a viper it comes and it rips me apart
spreading venom in me that slowly is killing
but the worst part is that
I alone am willing
I'll never forgive you
I can surely foretell
you are the one responsible,you put me through hell
but it was through hell that I grew stronger
became who I am today
and I guess it's not much
but it's more than You can say
Who Am I ? I don't know
half of me is gone
but its that lost half that makes me, me
no more will i dwell on
they say ignorance is bliss
so i guess it is true
cause man am i happy
that i never met you
Aug 30, 2012
Aug 30, 2012 at 9:03 AM UTC
I am from the ocean
I am from the black sand
And the cream sand
I am from the long drives down south
From the ipan mobile soft serve
I am from the cuts and bruises of the coral and sand
From the multiple layers of sunscreen smudged on my face
From the tears that came when the sunscreen burned my eyes
I am from the sandcastles and forts
From the sunburns and tears
From the bucket of ***** that I was so set on taking home
I am from the sandy chips and sandwiches
From the sandball fights and balati wars
I am from the sound of the ocean inside the shells
I am from the small waves I could jump over
And from the huge waves I swam under
I am from the struggling currents
From the low tide to high tide
From the sting of saltwater in my eyes
I am from the countless hours spent collecting seashells
I am from the good tan lines and bad tan lines
I am from the ocean, the beach, the blue
May 12, 2012
May 12, 2012 at 11:04 PM UTC
i miss you
not the latest you
but the good man you used to be
not the physical ,but the intention, the real you.
the intention was there
good or not
i felt it
and to me, yeah to me it felt right.
it took a while, no doubt
but after the long contemplation night after night
conversation after conversation
date after date.. the feeling was there.
but how could you have hurt me so easily,
when you were so good to me?
how can someone who cares so much
throw it away in one moment?
reality checks hit hard - you never really cared.
or maybe you did but my definition of caring for someone is way different than yours.
good can turn into bad in one second
happiness can be lost in two
one foolish mistake is all it takes
for all those memories to become regrets
regrets, to let go and let down your walls
because trust.. its not just a figment of your imagination
it's something that you work for
something that you fight so hard for
and it's amazing, and yet so terrifying how
it can be lost all in one moment.
one moment of disbelief
when the creases on my hands become little rivers
and my heartbeat is amplified through my eardrums
when I feel like the world could have stopped and heard it themselves.
so dumbfounded that there were no thoughts. just anger.
pure solid complete anger.
anger so powerful it was the one emotion that ever had taken over my whole body
completely absorbed, entangled in one messy, moment.
one moment of happiness does not compare to the amount of
anger and pain you put me through.
but see it's moments like these that remind us of how weak we can be-
did I do something ?
was it all a lie?
was everything-
every heart felt word you whispered,
every meaningful sentence you texted,
every comforting conversation uttered through the phone,
all the assuring hugs and kisses.
a lie.
was it real?
i couldn't help but to think to myself
that it was my fault.
because every single time
you somehow managed to
twist my thoughts into believing that somehow .. it was my fault.
like i was the one in the wrong, like i was the one who didn't care enough.
I guess I wasn’t enough.
my fault ? and then it hit me.
it hit me right in the stomach.
it hit me hard, numbing spread throughout my body.
that's when the rivers on my palms ceased to flow
when my heart beat finally came back to the normal low.
my fault ? yes.
my fault for trusting you.
my fault for listening to you when things got pretty hard.
my fault for believing that you had actually -changed.
change. i have.
hurt me, you have.
but i have changed, my mentality
now runs through the ice cold rocks
which make up the walls that surround me.
trust, that's ********
no, you. you're ********
Your fault, definitely. You see you- lost Me.
All those moments, I don’t regret now.
I learn.
You are a lesson learned.
And in the end when the anger is over,
when the feelings have completely withered and died
when the site of your face doesn’t phase me at all
I tell myself one fact, two words :
HIS LOSS
May 11, 2012
May 11, 2012 at 8:42 AM UTC
don't you dare take me for granted
all the love I felt
for you
dont take me as a fool
just because i trusted you
you think you've got me figured out
well mr. think again
i'm definitely not that easy
i swear it's not pretend
all the things i do for you
all the problems i let slide
you think you're mr. suave
i wont be by your side
if all you do is kiss me
and never let me go
never saying anything
until i tell you no
is that all you really care about ?
were your feelings just a fake?
the physical i cant deny
would never fail to make
me fall even harder, for a guy like you.
mr. suave has another side
no not one - but two.
I've seen it just a couple times
when you talk about your dad
how every time i brought it up
you got a little sad
the walls came down
i marched right in
to see side number two
what i saw and what i felt
made me care for you
if it was real if it was fake
i really do not know
but i now i see that side of you
that really made you show
all your feelings all your rage
the pressure was surreal
mr. suave had another side
it was his heart i wished to steal
and in the end i have it now
i don't know what to do..
maybe ill bring my walls down.
and show him my side two.
Apr 18, 2012
Apr 18, 2012 at 8:37 AM UTC
you call me evil
but I just learn from my mistakes
you call me heartless
but I care more than you think
you call me ignorant
but I've experienced more than you know
you call me untrustworthy
but I've trusted more than once to know that trust leads to tears
you tell me i need to experience love
what you ment to say was lust
you tell me to let go
but once I do- will you hold on?
you tell me to take my walls down
but where will you go once you get in ?
see I've met guys like you
and I've learned from my mistakes
don't let this one in,it's a facade, it's a fake.
answer that question,and let the game of love take place.
Nov 29, 2011
Nov 29, 2011 at 3:14 AM UTC
I want a taste
to taste it just once
the texture on my tongue
the breathing in my lung
the spark ,while it's still young
I want to feel
to feel the heat inside
burning with unknown
to discover -not be shown
does this taste or feeling exist?
cause i felt it when we kissed
just a spark , not a fire
to taste is my desire
I've yet to come so far
to find this taste upon a star
for me it's as far as space
delirious thoughts through my mind race
but when i find this taste i seek
i hope it makes me strong,not weak.
but nevertheless;
I have yet to taste this flavor
the famous flavor they speak of
simply- pure,passionate,tender,disgusting,
love.
Nov 29, 2011
Nov 29, 2011 at 2:26 AM UTC
I hear her name - I am numb
into my ears,
for when i hear it , i hold back my tears.
not cause Im hurt, not cause I fear
but cause i only wish i could have her here.
to breathe, to see ,to smell,
to bring me back the way i felt.
cause feelings,emotions they are what keep you alive.
lately though its been a struggle - im not gonna lie.
its those moments you live for, the moments that bring you back.
to the time, to the place but you're already losing track
of the time you had left, should have done more..
the feeling of drowning as you look to the shore,
covered in the shiny black sand- there she stood
id do anything to be in that moment ,anything,if i could.
cause you see, when you lose someone,no - not just someone,you lose yourself
and for the rest of your life you're lost,helpless.
the only way to find yourself is in the memories you've made
engraved in your heart -these moments
these smells,these thoughts,these feelings,emotions.
everything that connects you dont let it out of your site.
cause once you do, once you forget,
her name is really numb,
and she really is
gone.
her name i vow i will never take lightly, cause **** she was a woman whose name
was never ment to be
numb.
Nov 27, 2011
Nov 27, 2011 at 6:12 AM UTC