"fragmenting" poems
Melting down, crossing barriers, breaking out, stepping round.
Pieces fragmenting, character isolating. Green-acid, hair follicles, white is the blank slate, painting blues with reds.
Freaks from a sideshow, muscles in the sea, six-packs in a grog-shop, dancing improperly.
Beguiled by your bounce, sleep-walking this town. Fine is the white wine, poisoning the liver, spining on a sixpence, ********** follows dinner.
Oct 6, 2018
Oct 6, 2018 at 12:53 PM UTC
I've started a habit, I ignore the best of advice.
I see the gold but I can't reach out and grab it.
My chances lost, thrown away, life doesn't suffice anymore.
Just shouting at the god that has ****** me!!
**** it!! He strikes me, smites me, I can't fight back and he bites me.
Self belief burned and buried, self esteem shot down and slowly drowned.
The power I crave is unteachable, untouchable, unreachable and unbearable.
I have such foolish ambitions and desires.
Never to have greatness and my helpless soul is on fire.
Duck, drop and roll, send me to the poles to freeze, please!!
Reduced to begging, I'm a disgrace, you better take that ugly grin off your face.
I'll continue to flow It like a poet so that you feel my self loathing.
I turn on the TV and look at the news, It's not good apparently.
The whole world's becoming a zoo, It's so true.
And guess what! The sky's not even blue, It's red!!
No wait; thats just the pain in my head, pain from exaustion, or maybe just hunger.
Life's a mess.
I need to get this crippling weight off my chest, can you help me?
Force the world off my chest, then I'll carry it on my shoulders.
Gonna live like this until my fragmenting fragments are broken.
Feb 8, 2011
Feb 8, 2011 at 2:59 AM UTC
*chopping the carrots
and the onions
with tears..
this fragmenting
in linear time..
now dialogue ensues
carrots and onions
join other friends
ingredients unite..!
a community in heat
transforms and shapeshifts..
an aroma announces
a new creation
a quantum delicacy
before her eyes...*
Apr 18, 2013
Apr 18, 2013 at 9:00 PM UTC
~
*Pieces of this and that
From remember when
It used to be a flowershop
She used to smell of roses
Panting church candles
Now and again
From the quiet corner of absolution
Eyes closed to the dusk of sensualité
In search of lost time
"yearning for a song of reply"*
~
Dec 26, 2021
Dec 26, 2021 at 1:16 PM UTC
You love my light, but can you embrace my darkness?
My madness, my neurosis, my insecurities?
You love my laugh, but can you love my tears and my scars and my pain as deeply as you love my joy?
You're willing to bask in my glistening iridescent infinite divine red aura splattered in gold tones...but will you be there when I'm unable to lift myself from the abyss of my ever churning, ever condemning, overthinking mind?
You want to celebrate my successes, but are you willing not to be overly critical of my failed attempts?
Are you willing to encourage me and believe in me when I can't do it for myself?
I'm simultaneously
happy and sad,
hot and cold,
unfettered and bound,
knowing and ignorant,
open and closed,
sure and unsure,
deep and shallow,
obsessed and unconcerned
...can you handle that?
Can you handle me?
Is it too dizzying of a realization that every part of me has a deep opposing counterpart?
Will you stay?
Will you leave? If so- I've just given you permission to do whatever you feel that you need...
You can't have my light without my darkness. You can't have my joy and discard my pain. You can't have my sanity without my insanity. You can't gather the things that you like and discard the ugly parts, further fragmenting my already fragmented soul...
Every part of me longs to feel the warmth of the sun
Every part of me longs to shown off like a most prized possession
Every part of me longs to be nurtured and cared for and protected and validated
Not by everyone- but by YOU
I don't need them. I just need you
Every part of me longs to be seen by you
felt by
loved by
You.
Every. Part.
See my heart, taste my thoughts, feel the colors of my memories
Into me see
Intimacy
~KiCo!
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 10:48 AM UTC
i can't ignore, the way it makes me feel
the cut of a thousand stars
soaring, fragmenting
falling into tiny pieces
i left you
wanting more
but all that remains
is a casket of ruins
for a forgotten love
when everything is easy
i'll stand in my own way
like a villain in my own story
the harshness of me
burning against the softness of you
this fleeting feeling
is so temporary
alone at last
but it is not
where i want to be.
Jan 18, 2022
Jan 18, 2022 at 10:56 AM UTC
i am lost in the wisp of your faltering
the fluttering of concrete entrenched
into stoic rigmarole
to reach out layer by layer
peeling unearthing
a catatonic subdivision of disjoint subdivisions
a limit ordinal
between touch and feeling
where we kiss on the cusp of that silent ocean on the edge of sound
drowned in the nebulous familiarity of
a distant melody
a tired resolve
re solve the old puzzle muscle memory's misted amnesia
half the pieces falling out the warn tinderbox
inarticulate drowned severed isomorphisms over
brea(d)thless infinities
self adjoint matted topologies
nestled snugly in the amniotic absolution
of form before being
hands of matted ice
contorted into perfection
by the sculpting propensities
of undulations of estrangement,
where we touch in the cusp of self reflections thousand mirrors inverted propensities
infinite infinitesimals
nestled meromorphic partitions
hidden corners in the brevity of dusk
multiplicities fragmenting behind empty veils
( to be seen is to be made discrete
to be discrete is to flicker
and disappear
(inevitably invariable
inevitable invariability))
we
stand in a waterfall of gravel
and drown our voices in the choke of our cellophane hearts
caked
into fillets of aphasic tundra
where we whisper our nothings in the desert on the boundary of silence
our words
escape us
like rats from shipwreck
we are
disembowelled catharsis
intentional and fatuous
retching upon itself
severed
and free
and dead
Oct 15, 2014
Oct 15, 2014 at 8:53 AM UTC
I’m the sickness,
the grotesque singularity that envelopes and gropes that sick nectar.
The sickly substance drains so subtle upon the cut edge of lips
and the pillar draw strings stitched and bound between cardiac flesh.
I’ll cleave,
cut and seethe,
suckle upon the sin I glower as I twine
and tug at those piano puppet strings caught in twain with every heart beat,
just trigger happy nerves spackled in misunderstood concept called love and impulse.
Pluck the collar cuff at your guttural sing and sentence,
those ballots fluttering from between pearl teeth,
I’m stealing those breathing gasps and loving longings;
they’re all just flecks and fragments of lackluster human baggage,
just mannequins treading sluggish,
fractured splinter frame and hinge fickle.
I’m the socio experiment,
the fiendish distaste of a chimera,
the zealous of corrupted cold hearted,
faux feeling skin wearing thing.
Just a copulation of electrical splatter and liquid tissue,
inorganic animal,
snapping jaw and glass shard fangs.
I’ll rile and reeve between the click and snap of your heart beat,
coddle the smoke of prey’s scent,
I’ll parasite the life blood that courses and holds beneath your emotional connect.
My cancer’s a slaughter fed consolation,
ever feasting malignant circumstance,
it rallies a thousand eyes,
irises blood thick,
fragments my moral conscience with teeth riddled limbs,
claws that chew and tear.
A multi-armed fiend,
segmented soulless and black tainted blood lost long ago,
all that remains ***** is the tissue wearing skeleton I claim domain,
fragmenting the soul into steel shards,
all’s just razor edge mechanical once the human feel falls to ash amongst the clutter of bone.
You’ll find the soulless circuit board in the gulf of your cancerous conscience,
as the human corrupts to cancer
Nov 11, 2013
Nov 11, 2013 at 7:50 AM UTC
I could not believe my luck
To finally find a friend.
We could have taken on the world together,
I never wanted it to end.
Something had to come along and change it.
I know where we went wrong.
We both wanted to be in the same band,
But we both wrote differents songs.
We broke apart like clashing comets
Falling from out of the sky.
I guess inside I always knew
That I could never be your guy.
It wasn't that I lacked self-confidence.
It was not even that I felt shame.
We understood what the other meant.
But, the thing we wanted was the same.
I would have bet my heart on you.
But I could never live a lie.
For a while there, life was a party,
How the time flew by!
You drifted back into my world,
I was drifting far from mind.
About the time I was fragmenting,
Saturn was about to unwind.
Like a stone, I catapulted into the world.
I ricocheted liked a silver ball.
I was making up for lost time.
I would rise, then I would fall.
The colors melded hotly
As I did crash and burn.
The cynicism came with ease,
With every lesson I did learn.
I settled into my routine.
I cooled as I slowed down.
I looked you up to say hello,
And I miss having you around.
I cannot believe my luck.
That you still are my friend.
Sing your songs and tell me stories,
Like you did way back when.
May 5, 2015
May 5, 2015 at 10:55 PM UTC
Your hands stole the starlight
To paint my body
In vivid hues of heaven
Unrestrained rapture
Soars like a firework
Exploding out into darkness
Bombarding colours
Fragmenting sensation
Cool night air
Delicately wanders
Fanning my flaming skin
Stroking my fascination
The heady scent of desire
Infusing earthly compulsion
Thrusting towards celestial pleasures
In an effort to enter nirvana
Soft folds seek firm flesh
Ripening under your touch
Ready to burst with sweet ambrosia
Flowing through your fingers
Demanding in quest
Your skyrocket
Burns through my atmosphere
Leaving trails of stardust that
Quiver along my body
As you cradle me in hushed epilogue
And I descend .....
Back to a garden
Bathed in moonlight
(C) Pixievic
May 23, 2016
May 23, 2016 at 12:01 PM UTC
Groggy,
awoken by a harsh tone
unsympathetic to the delicate state
in which my mind remains
half clutching, memorizing the calm
A fragile existence
built to long upon lust and desires
buried so far below natural thought
unnaturally woven into undetermined
projections
The eyes and smile and picture of you
so familliar then
The electricity pulsating through
touch
the lyrics sung on the tip of my tongue
caressed carefully by consciousness
hidden by greed of selfishness
that you are mine
I am yours
But artificial yellows dank and austere
swell before me
which pale in comparison to
golden hues of fog employed
to haunt and taunt the waking memory
fragmenting a joyful slumber
into only a few definable visions where you remain
Mar 13, 2013
Mar 13, 2013 at 10:36 PM UTC
Wondering around
formless and free,
compelling curiosity
to find out
what
could
be?
Constructing
alpha, omega
labyrinth
was seen to be
good
Entering the
construct, what
great fun to be had
Moving around each
twist, corner and turn,
celestial navigation
was learned
Dispersing,
fragmenting,
self awareness
was lost,
leaving clues
at each
twist, corner and turn.
Apr 8, 2013
Apr 8, 2013 at 6:36 AM UTC
From the very beginning you’ve had thunder in your mind
and lightning in your heart-you struck with no warning,
Beautiful and awesome and all-consuming.
You stirred up pain like a hurricane,
Short circuiting logic and reason with beauty and fire.
Forest fires often raced through your veins-
Although one could argue for arson,
Boys starting gasoline- soaked infernos that burned bright and died,
Leaving blackened roots behind.
You took the whole world in stride,
Stepping like landslides the earth moved beneath you;
You left victims in your wake,
Shaken and changed by the shape of your feet.
You felt changes like earthquakes.
Buildings shattered with your realizations,
The glass fragmenting into opinions ideas connections that left you shaken.
Your anger erupted like volcanoes-
Emotions bubbling under the surface until they blew sky high,
Magma, hot and molten that spat up and consumed everything in its path.
Depression hit you like a tsunami.
A monumental wave that roared up
And crashed
over everything and everyone that ever loved you.
Then there was drought,
All the distractions died out and your cracks beginning to show,
Widening as you lose yourself in the ebb and flow of compassion.
And your future is as uncertain as a tornado.
It’s up in the air and we don’t know where it’s going to touch down;
Which house it’s going to rip apart next.
Apr 9, 2013
Apr 9, 2013 at 8:55 PM UTC
I saw you in the mirror today.
I washed away your sleep and saw your eyes opening with the light of day.
I touched the sorrow in your cheekbones and felt the blood
in your brow.
What the hell happened last night?
Your eyes- for once, I can’t read them. Can I see what you have seen?
I reach out and,ouch, all I feel is your hurt…
No, no, don’t look away, don’t look away, chin up-
I’m sending you my love.
Remember the summer?
Remember the rain and the tickle, prickle, vivid, candid sensation?
Remember your first kiss? And how he missed?
No, no, return to the sunny day.
Yes, I feel the split skin now, too.
It’s a web of truths I don’t understand.
I see the darkness.
Come on, snap to- I’m losing you, I’m losing you
I’m losing who you are come on show me who you are
WAKE UP
Yes, yes, when I close my eyes, I can’t believe the sight.
I don’t know how to calculate the escape velocity from Earth’s orbit-
I fall asleep in astronomy, too.
Your eyes are pools of passion and I see them fragmenting.
You aren’t allowed to curl up and die, remember?
Not when friends still visit and mothers still call and strangers still say hello and I LOVE YOU still exists even if it sometimes feels like an alternate universe and yeah life ***** and waking up and being the one in pain hurts but you
are a butterfly
Beautiful, agile, free-
Flight, yeah, it exists!
Look, I’m wiping away your tears,
Remember that there is no true fear.
Dawn still comes.
Dawn still comes.
And I love you.
Oct 5, 2010
Oct 5, 2010 at 8:20 PM UTC
A sad stopwatch in silence,
regrets fragmenting time,
nonexistent, unstoppable.
Aug 31, 2013
Aug 31, 2013 at 1:03 PM UTC
we carry scars
and marks
imperfections of pigment
warped bones
and fragmenting knees
we feel the weather
in our old injuries
if you play
you inevitably bleed
Mar 25, 2010
Mar 25, 2010 at 8:25 AM UTC
A single touch
Would break
My back and soul.
A touch to unload
All the burdens
These worn joints
Have been bearing.
Such a touch
Would cause my heart
To crumble.
Strong as an ox,
A horse, a water buffalo.
Fit as a fiddle,
A lute, a viola da gamba.
Happy as a clam,
A mussel, an Arctic quahog.
If only they knew
That a single touch
Would be my undoing,
Unraveling,
Fragmenting--
The one thing
That could make me
Breakdown.
If you knew...
Would your hand reach out
With all the care you could muster
To grasp my shoulder in support?
Would your arms invite
My head to lay across your breast
That I might cry out, alone no longer?
If you knew me,
Would you supply the touch
My soul desires?
Jun 24, 2014
Jun 24, 2014 at 3:31 PM UTC
Have you ever seen someone crumple?
I have,
And I was one half of the cause.
She’d taken a bullet
But didn’t yet know it.
She wasn’t angry
As she looked from me to him and back again
Waiting for one of us to explain
What couldn’t be explained.
She wasn’t angry, she was imploding
Chipped glass about to shatter
Fragmenting shards.
Atoms swirled in chaos,
She stood alone, in a tornado
Still and silent
Not realising the oxygen had all but gone.
Time stood still for us all
And as she realised,
She started to crumple and turned and fled
Too proud to disintegrate
In front of those who fired the gun.
Nov 4, 2013
Nov 4, 2013 at 4:34 AM UTC
A hollow point bullet , fired , rifled through barrel , targeting steel resolve , fragmenting , striking ten combatants with one fatal shot ! A wood canoe with confident oarsman , fighting thirty foot ocean swells , hurricane winds and storm surge ! Swan dive over Horseshoe Falls , disappearing within the rocks , returned to the surface laughing , emboldened and unharmed ! Pressure cooker explosives , detonated beside large crowds with zero injuries , homicidal schizophrenic empties his magazine in a theater with no casualties ! Random killing in the name of religion with just cause , fundamental rationality ! Convincing people to try compassion , tolerance and moderation ! Forgetful , carefree , unharmed , thankful citizens impinged , ***** by the three percent , courtesy of Wall Street !
Oct 27, 2015
Oct 27, 2015 at 4:19 PM UTC
A tempest rages,
Within my mind,
Thoughts screaming, striking as thunder, as shards of ice fragmenting upon impact,
Leaving cold, leaving.
I am struck, shocked by the sudden realisation that I am not who I was.
A current of electricity coursing through my brain,
A current I swim against with no hope of winning out, my strength is waning,
I have no resolve.
My nerves are a deer caught in headlights,
I am nervous.
I am self-destroying, I am at war with myself.
I am a man without eyes, seeing things that aren't there, seeing things.
I am conflicted, confused, corroding in the early hours of morning,
The sun comes up but the days are dark.
Rotting wood, rotting mind,
Veins staining skin, like forks of lightning beneath the flesh.
I am withering,
Wasting, I am waste,
Don't waste ammo on the dead.
Lines etched in bodies,
Like seams in fabric,
Like the ******* on my kitchen bench.
Addictions crying to be satisfied,
To be sated,
Nose decorated in white,
All I know is night.
Mountains in eyes, too high to conquer,
An uphill battle,
Failure, another pill,
Another regret.
And another.
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 6:14 PM UTC
We watch the waves crest
and tumble, playing,
fragmenting quickly into jigsaw
puzzles, bubbles dancing on our
fingertips, outstretched
as the sun soaks
through our skin so deep
we're replaced by solid light,
and the corners of our mouths
soar up above the seagulls,
and the swells in the distance shimmer
like night-time's looking glass,
predicting
the movements of the stars,
and there's something about
the easy breath of the sea,
the energy and rhythm,
that makes us feel like running
unbound, and when we return
with tousled locks of sun-dried hair,
our skin sticky sweet, saturated
with layers of salt,
our socks made of sand grains
that tickle our toes,
pockets full of sea-stones
and oyster homes
and smooth glass, bottle green,
the color of daydreams and kelp,
we know, despite miles
of asphalt and cumulus clouds, despite
time-tolled memory,
that our ocean never leaves.
May 18, 2013
May 18, 2013 at 8:12 PM UTC
i am shattering like glass
as everything around me slips away
reality fragmenting, i reach to grab shards
sharp enough to slit my own wrists
i return to tendencies of self destruction
like returning to an abusive ex
because even when things are bad
there is comfort in the familiarity pain.
— dis(comfort)
Jan 10, 2021
Jan 10, 2021 at 10:57 PM UTC
unendurable, long and exhausting
are the pains
presumptuous like appeals
from a jaded pulpit
such as they are, are powerless
a passage from a discarded tract
such are these pernicious pains
that swarm in a slivering hiss
upon dark and lurking shadows
aesthetically applauding themselves
as they push here and there
in their wounding commentary
of painful narrative
agonising enough to reduce
the soul to debilitating bouts
of disagreeably damaging experience
with startling exaggerations
that produce disgraceful extortions
upon mind and body
squandering unbearable isolations
fragmenting the cracks
in a delicate structure of personality
uprooting it from a sanctified paradise
providing instead a monstrous, shameful loathing
that makes one choose to become another
other than those unthinking
other than this misery of anguish
other than this pain
deliberately to provoke an anger
the other with ingratiating timidity
or rebellious defiance
favours a rejection of
all resentful obligations
all that is distasteful
all that is not worth carrying out
such as with a contempt
that allows one to escape into an emptiness
of the ridiculous and the impossible
through thoughts to an absurdity of beliefs
through the deserted streets
the neighbourhoods of the lie
pass the filthy inadequacies
of obscene caresses
where one is mocked
by exquisitely satisfying ******
of vicious pains
pains that control behaviour
freedom of movement
time and space
who appear at the corners of the mouth
where lurk sarcastic secrets
now I know in these horrors and torments
that time has stopped in all dimensions
eternity has ceased
May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 2:18 PM UTC
unendurable, long and exhausting
are the pains
presumptuous in their plenty
such are these pernicious pains
that swarm in a slivering hiss
upon dark and lurking shadows
aesthetically applauding themselves
as they push here and there
in their wounding commentary
of painful narrative
agonising enough to reduce
the soul to debilitating bouts
of disagreeably damaging experience
with startling exaggerations
that produce disgraceful extortions
upon mind and body
squandering unbearable isolations
fragmenting the cracks
in a delicate structure of personality
uprooting it from a sanctified paradise
providing instead a monstrous, shameful loathing
that makes one choose to become another
other than those unthinking
other than this misery of anguish
other than this pain
deliberately to provoke an anger
the other with ingratiating timidity
or rebellious defiance
favouring a rejection of
all resentful obligations
all that is distasteful
all that is not worth carrying out
such as with a contempt
that allows one to escape into an emptiness
of the ridiculous and the impossible
through thoughts to an absurdity of beliefs
through the deserted streets
the neighbourhoods of the lie
pass the filthy inadequacies
of obscene caresses
where one is mocked
by exquisitely satisfying ******
of vicious pains
pains that control behaviour
freedom of movement
time and space
who appear at corners of the mouth
where lurk sarcastic secrets
now I know in these horrors and torments
that time has stopped in all dimensions
eternity has ceased
Apr 19, 2015
Apr 19, 2015 at 5:32 PM UTC
Sometimes I make myself angry at you.
Hurt
That you aren't around.
Not because I enjoy being angry and hurt,
Not because you deserve it,
Not because anything at all has gone wrong,
But simply because
Missing you as much as I miss you on some nights
[most nights]
Has no reason,
No cause,
No cure,
No trigger or relief.
And if I'm going to feel it
My mind wants something to blame.
It is too much,
Too much love,
To simply miss you
And feel the exquisitely fragmenting pain of that.
It is much easier to handle feeling something I've felt before,
Something that can be fought,
Something that can be dealt with,
Something that has a start,
And hence,
An end.
My hurt, my anger...all of it...
Even my fear is a lie.
Because the truth is
Missing you
Has no end,
No edge,
No closure,
No border.
No creation
And no ultimatum.
If I bog myself down in petty fear and pain and enmity
If I fog up my mind and heart with those silly distractions
The love
Cannot leak through and terrify me
With its immeasurable, ceaseless enormity.
If I just stay on the surface,
I can't drown in what is really happening:
My love deepens by the second,
And I am at sea
With no land in sight.
I miss you with my skin and the marrow of my bones,
With my fingertips and in my veins.
I miss you more every moment.
It's been increasing since the day you left.
When you came back,
It only picked up.
I miss you in a way that absolutely stuns me with fear
And with awe.
I am not ready to be the vessel for that kind of feeling
That kind of love.
And so sometimes, when you're not around and I wish you were,
I make myself angry with you,
Hurt,
Afraid to lose you.
I engineer insecurities in my head.
Because the sheer truth of knowing that you love me
And missing you this much anyway
Is too immense
And too agonizing
To face.
Aug 20, 2013
Aug 20, 2013 at 12:07 AM UTC