"ferrets" poems
They’re really rockin’ in Bradford,
Off the Pennine Way.
Deep in the heart of Yorkshire
And round the Robin Hood’s Bay.
All over South Ossett
And down to New Farnley.
Roast beef and Yorkie Puddings,
God’s Own County, Yay!
Yull see ‘em rambling at Ilkley,
Right to the county line,
Sheffield steel and Wednesday –
A football team so fine.
Better still, Leeds United,
Greatest club of all time.
Yorkshire, Kings of Cricket,
Oh what a boon!
Get down that wicket,
We’ll be champs by June.
Down a ginnel or snicket,
See our Olympic Champs.
Coal Miner Picket,
Relight those lamps.
Racing pigeons and ferrets,
Stereotypes tha knows.
Over t’top in Lancashire,
Them there’s our foes.
We’re the greatest county,
Our pride really glows.
We know you all hate us,
It keeps us on our toes.
So we’ll be rockin’ in Yorkshire,
What more can I say?
Us Tykes 're as barmy as Barnsley,
So I’ll be on my way.
Paul Butters
(With due thanks to Chuck Berry and also The Beach Boys)
May 2, 2016
May 2, 2016 at 6:21 AM UTC
an aging APE developed arthritis in his ankles
several BATS tasted the nectar from the plum trees
Jessica's CAT played with the ball of wool
DINGOS were seen skulking around the camp site
there are two types of ELEPHANTS the Asian and African
FERRETS are sent down rabbit warrens to flush them out
Helen saw a GIRAFFE at the wildlife reserve
I wrote a poem titled Hilary The HIPPOPOTAMUS
Who has a pet IGUANA?
Some people say my uncle is a *******
KANGAROOS have muscular tails
Obama rhymes with LLAMA
in parts of Canada MOOSE roam on the loose
a NEWT likes being in a warm environment
some OCTOPI have black dye
baby PANDAS are cute and cuddly
in Australia we have a native bush QUAIL
RACCOONS live in rocky dens
a TAPIR has a very long nose
UAKARI monkeys hang out in the Amazon jungle
if you're looking for a VOLE you'll find him in a hole
WOMBATS move in a very slow manner
an XERUS is a mighty big species of squirrel
the Nepalese have domesticated YAKS
Doctor Dolittle has spoken to a ZEBRA
Aug 21, 2013
Aug 21, 2013 at 10:54 PM UTC
There is a wildness still in England that will not feed
In cages; it shrinks away from the touch of the trainer's hand,
Easy to **** not easy to tame. It will never breed
In a zoo for the public pleasure. It will not be planned.
Do not blame us too much if we that are hedgerow folk
Cannot swell the rejoicings at this new world you make -
We, hedge-hogged as Johnson or Borrow, strange to the yoke
As Landor, surly as Cobbett (that badger), birdlike as Blake.
A new scent troubles the air -- to you, friendly perhaps
But we with animal wisdom have understood that smell.
To all our kind its message is Guns, Ferrets, and Traps,
And a Ministry gassing the little holes in which we dwell.
4.8k
Ou memories of good times last
Our memories of bad times die
We live in our heads
We skate on ice
It cracks and we are
Thrown into icy waters
The ferrets come to save us
We jump on the night bus
Time passes slowly
At first
Nothing is static
Except the law
That everything will change
We cannot swim in the air
But we can fly
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 10, 2015 at 7:10 AM UTC
They’re really rockin’ in Bradford,
Off the Pennine Way.
Deep in the heart of Yorkshire
And all round Robin Hood’s Bay.
All over South Ossett
Down there to New Farnley.
Roast beef and Yorkie Puddings,
God’s County Yay!
Yull see ‘em rambling near Ilkley,
Right to the county line,
Sheffield steel and Wednesday –
A football team so fine.
Better still, Leeds United,
Greatest club of all time.
Yorkshire, Kings of Cricket,
Oh what a boon!
Get down that wicket,
We’ll be champs by June.
Down a ginnel or snicket,
See our Olympic Champs.
Coal Miner Picket,
Relight those lamps.
Racing pigeons and ferrets,
Stereotypes tha knows.
Over t’top in Lancashire,
Them there’s our foes.
We’re the greatest county,
Our pride really glows.
We know you all do hate us,
It keeps us on our toes.
So we’ll be rockin’ in Yorkshire,
What more can I say?
Us Tykes're as barmy as Barnsley,
So I’ll be on my way.
Paul Butters
(With due thanks to Chuck Berry and also The Beach Boys)
© PB 2\5\2016. Slightly Amended 14\4\2023.
Apr 14, 2023
Apr 14, 2023 at 3:09 PM UTC
The way the dragonfly
across your chest stares at me,
through a lawn of pinwheel hairs;
and the way your beard
tickles me in such a way
that I believe at any minute
you are going to accumulate
flannel and chop me a tree
subtly confuses how I feel
now that we have played
a skilled game of ring toss.
I am used to our conversations
while you drag quill and ink
across my skin and leave scars
in all the right places.
But the way you look at me
a masterpiece to be devoured,
and poisonous makes me
ask if you can scratch my back
for hours,
but ******* get raw
being rubbed like sweatshirts
against bare skin all day.
I don’t know how I feel about
palindromes now,
but I know how you feel
when you make it snow inside
and hand-rolled cigarette
smoke fills the room
chasing ferrets through sheets
leaving bruises in the shape of dental x-rays.
How does it feel,
Once all of your tattoos have met?
Aug 11, 2011
Aug 11, 2011 at 8:05 PM UTC
She was only 15, no boyfriends yet
At a family gathering their eyes first met
Now Rob's not shy, with plenty of chat
So he gave her a call and they never looked back.
She went to Cambridge to get her degree
So every weekend, so did he.
When that was all done, what's next to do?
No more travelling, just me and you
In a cottage in Framsden made for two
With ferrets and fish and a couple of dogs
Oka cooks happy meat while Rob chops logs
A veggie garden appeared for a spell
A few came up, but the weeds did well.
Some chickens arrived and did their thing
Then so did the fox to commit his sin.
Now Rob loves his hobbies, it gets on her wick
When he's in his shed fiddling with his welding stick.
But life is quite settled, time passes like this
Living their version of unmarried bliss.
But something is missing, the feeling grows
She thinks to herself, will he ever propose?
Then leap year comes round, with it's extra day
That was her chance to have her say
Rob knew it was coming, he took the day off.
She said I want to be married, now don't you scoff!
But Rob wasn't scoffing, he said now I'm sure
I do love my Landie, but I love you more.
That brings us right up to this special day
We all wish you well, we all want to say
May your lives together be happy, healthy and long
May your love for each other keep growing strong.
Dec 23, 2011
Dec 23, 2011 at 2:33 PM UTC
there was little ferret and he just long to go
all the way to Austria to play in all the snow
he took his little sleigh to the mountain side
then from the very top down it he could slide
sliding through through the snow on his little sleigh
in this foreign land so very far way
going very fast down the mountain track
wrapped nice and warm lying on his back
having lots of fun on his holiday
he just loved the snow and playing on his sleigh
Feb 14, 2014
Feb 14, 2014 at 8:36 AM UTC
The Jack Attack was back
Even the girl seemed quite fat
Or was it a man or boy
That was the old woman's toy - toil
For it just so happened she was royalty
But her castle was teaming
With gigantic Ants - aunts
Though they might have uncles, or cockroaches
Because her extended family was quite big
Cousins and kids
Ran through the house like baby goats
Ferrets and rats and marmalade stoats
Drumming and strumming... and this poem... what a joke
Sep 4, 2010
Sep 4, 2010 at 5:38 PM UTC
In the middle of the
Night,
The darkness is
Here
Even in my room,
My ferrets are sleeping and
I probably should too.
Down, we go
Down underneath the roots,
Love comes from
Everything,
On with this
Feeling,
This feeling of love,
Here we lay forever
Eternity; here in the
Night
I lay awake, ready to sleep, so
Goodnight, as I lay
Here waiting for
Tomorrow to come so I can see you.
Jan 15, 2011
Jan 15, 2011 at 7:24 PM UTC
A Dreamer’s Dream
only Dreamers can dream,
a dream such as mine.
dreaming silly dreams,
like the stars that shine.
pictures and letters,
thoughts through the night,
Won’t you come over,
and see me tonight?
A dreamer’s Dream can only be
a vision of uncertain reality
You can do what you want,
you are finally free
pictures and letters,
thoughts through the night,
Won’t you come over,
and see me tonight?
I can’t take my eyes off you
standing there in the light of the moon
your dress is so perfectly blue
hold onto my hand and step into the room
pictures and letters,
thoughts through the night,
Won’t you come over,
and see me tonight?
Ferrets talking to snails
little white rabbits fluffing their tails
She only speaks in rhythm and rhyme
But i don‘t care because i know she is mine
pictures and letters,
thoughts through the night,
Won’t you come over,
and see me tonight?
Sep 8, 2010
Sep 8, 2010 at 6:04 PM UTC
A church door's just another war to wage
Prolong the propaganda
volunteer
go to Rwanda
and see the truth that's written on the trees
see hard bitten soldiers cry
catch a famine in somewhere like Biafra
and watch as children die.
It's a lie to believe
and declarations make
me seethe
Your time is much too valuable to give it up in prayer
see it for yourself
if god was ever good
he isn't anymore
In fact he isn't there
I think he swanned off to the Caribbean with a companion
who we'll call Peter for convenience
and I'm not thinking of suggesting anything
that's
If there's anything or nothing to think about.
My prophets catch ferrets
wear flat caps
set rat traps,
There's
not much to pick and choose of them
but they're real men and not paintings in chapels
or pictures in galleries
I don't begrudge Luther his truth,
you see you have to see the other point of view
but it doesn't follow that you'll change yours.
Oct 7, 2016
Oct 7, 2016 at 12:57 PM UTC
There once was a man who liked to eat grunion
he ate them with ketchup and onion
he ate them for lunch
he ate a whole bunch
he ate so many they gave him a bunion
There was a lady who liked to eat cheese
but when she ate it she started to sneeze
she'd sneeze and she'd cough
till her hat would fall off
and she developed a terrible wheeze
There was a young girl who ate cantaloupe
while she rode on the back of an antelope
she rode along fine
and continued to dine
till her antelope tripping, slid down a slope
There was a boy who liked mango
when he ate it he did the fandango
he'd throw out the peels
then with a click of his heels
he would dance a beautiful tango
There was a lady who loved carrots
but so did her large group of ferrets
if her ferrets were there
she had to give them a scare
to keep them away from her carrots
There once was a man who liked to eat soup
but when he did it made his ears droop
it was hard to recoup
with ears covered with goop
but he just couldn't give up his soup
There was a young lad who liked waffles
Though they made him feel really awful
he ate them with butter
then he would sputter
and develop a terrible cough-ful
There was a man who loved to eat stew
but when he ate it his face would turn blue
it was truly a ghastly hue
he looked like he had the flu
as if he was sick through and through
There once was a lady who liked custard
she ate it with pickles and mustard
a strange combo, she'll grant
since she's not even pregnant
when she was asked she'd always get flustered
Apr 22, 2018
Apr 22, 2018 at 8:34 AM UTC
Our garden was spirals of green - Squeeze-through bean tunnels rigged with bee stings, skinny mud paths that grazed knees and bloodied hand-heels when it rained. The field was neat rows of gold - Wide tracks made-good with stone, sipped dry by birch and tall oak. Peacocks and emperors flickered, fritillary swooned to a stop on damp skin - Ragged commas were caught breaths in bramble and …I listened... to Old-Man-Brown - snoring and mythical, to the click-click of chopped veg, to kids playing, to men coming home.
I ran, scrambled the bank, grabbed hold of chain-link, crashed into the garden. I knelt by the pen, let dogs lick my hands, gave armfuls of long grass to rabbits. I danced between chickens, beeped back at quails and avoided wry-smiley ferrets. I made it back before Mum needed to yell, shouted out, swirled my limbs clean from the barrel - Excited because, in a couple of weeks it’d be teeming with coppery fish and I’d give them ant-eggs and worms. I shoved open the door, brushed past dead things. That’s what we did - fed them until it was time.
Oct 10, 2022
Oct 10, 2022 at 4:25 PM UTC
In taller walls search for new life to base things on but they all know no ones found it can't claim I'm wrong, though plucked from life, revisions go on to frail contentment, who do you talk to, who do you think you see? Suffocating my God without wondering left in m, it's sage to enter, but are you the speaking double, vision or clone, maybe just my ghost is all you see.
Do they know? Do you count your blessings alone? Engrave you're worries. The needing to leave to a place you won't arrive.
I'm seeing the highway again, roads blackened and torn but well worn from my friends keep my focus beside the, was it all to make my trip back here again?
Do they know? Do you count you're blessings alone? Formed in a decaying cadence and hope, you took these blessings granted and merged them into a rope. Hebrew swing and silent discretion,a sea ferrets not you never learned to tie.
Jun 6, 2013
Jun 6, 2013 at 8:11 PM UTC
ALVARADO
Well, now we’ve a translator, we can hear
How much the Mayas hate us.
SANDOVAL We should leave.
As yet, we merely beg to buy their corn,
But fears impel them to combat with us.
We’ve sixty wounded, heat stroke swoons the horse,
And not a flake of gold for all these streams.
Their ruins lurk like wrecks dredged from a swamp.
ALVARADO
A stark reminder for aspiring minds
That cultures often fall as well as rise.
Here comes the father, with our medicine man.
Enter AGUILAR and OLMEDO.
AGUILAR
And so back home the Inquisition, brother,
Still rules the roost?
OLMEDO It does so.
AGUILAR Grim regime!
It clouds the air upon a thousand wings,
Whose shadows spread to pall the gloomy sun.
The cool, luxuriant trees on which it lights,
It dries. How it decays! It browns green grass,
And desolates the leafy countrysides
Until they wither as the Syrian wastes.
OLMEDO So it does.
SANDOVAL [aside] Hark! The moral landslide rumbles.
OLMEDO
Those fires of the Inquisition, lighted
Exclusively to doom the Jews, one day
Are destined to consume their smug oppressors.
SANDOVAL [aside to Alvarado]
He strains a bit to shield the circumcised.
Though I’ve a ***** mouth, my blood is pure.
ALVARADO [aside to Sandoval]
Hush, Sandoval. You go too far.
OLMEDO And you?
Know, Alvarado, there are many men
Who, through misguided zeal- yes, Sandoval-
Convince themselves that they commit no sin
So long as those they **** and violate
Are of a different faith.
ALVARADO It’s not our fault.
I hate the Grand Inquisitor myself.
SANDOVAL
Like any little-loved policing force,
However, it preserves our way of life.
OLMEDO
For its unwanted eye that never slumbers,
Its arm, unseen and ever raised to strike,
Does not o’ercast its gloom on you, but rather
On deviants, foreigners, and heretics.
AGUILAR
It bars all doors of human entry to them-
Marginalized, shorn lambs it ferrets out,
And scapegoats as the enemies of Rome.
Thus, it condemns not only deeds, but thoughts.
Dec 3, 2016
Dec 3, 2016 at 1:30 PM UTC
Ferrets in the laundry room,
Parrot in the shed,
Hamster in the lounge,
Puppies on my bed.
Snake in the bread bin,
Kittens on the stairs,
Glow worms in the cupboard
To catch you unawares.
Emu in the garden,
Koala in the study,
Piggies in the front yard,
Where it's nice and muddy.
A bathroom budgie,
Dogs guard bedroom three,
When I win the premium bonds,
Who will rescue me?
Nov 7, 2020
Nov 7, 2020 at 7:31 AM UTC
Society declines
The green frog wears his bowler hat and carries an umberella while he's waiting for the train that takes him to Kings Cross
A Zebra reads the paper turning over pages as a badger sits on a bench smoking a cigarette for his health he doesn't really give a toss
The dragon fly is floating and it's colour seems to be blue and green shining in the morning as he checks the time and the train is late so now we're running at a loss
Two mice are still yawning because they stayed up last night to watch the boxing and they had to paint the house in matt or gloss
The train arrives and they all bundle on and no one sits beside the wasps in case they feel like stinging but lives are lost and the snails with their hair so long are going to uni to study slow motion as I guess anything else would be just a doss
The train arrives at it's destination and all the animals go their separate ways as another rat race starts at 8.08am and two ferrets drink their decaffs because they are so rich and they are boss
Apr 7, 2017
Apr 7, 2017 at 12:32 AM UTC
The sun played its usual tricks on the leaves
putting colour and composition into autumns grandeur
but winter lurked just underneath this cosmetic skin
waiting to burst starflung into every crevice
where the ice remains as cold as a frozen temperament.
Deep within the earth the heart
of the seed will rest embraced by the long wait
to be ****** out of the earths womb into spring
where the soft sun and wind and rain
will reach out and grab the arms of the emerging shoot
claw it above ground and set it free into
the wide world of evolution.
Welcome the rain, remnants of noahs ark
that bloats the soil and sand and pulls the roots back
into the ground while coursing through the veins
of the resplendent tree reaching for the sky
and wind and wonder of life
and dressed in foliage and flowers
the kingdom of believers will arrive
to set foot under shade and succulent tube
to nourish themselves in bounty and beauty
Autumn will return from its journey
to touch a clock and take the baton
of beauty back again. A year gone.
Older. Wiser. Smarter.
Author Notes
A journey through the four seasons. It summer in New Zealand and sizzling. Its not the best summer to write about. Soon it will fall into the next cycle and all that I write about will repeat.
I took my dog, Petals for a walk yesterday. She always stops at one particular flowering bed and ferrets out-whatever. That's when the poem came to me.
Hope you enjoy the poem. To those caught in blizzards and ice and snow wherever, remember, there is beauty in that too! Just gotta love it-which ever way. Its nice to be alive.
© Marshall Gass. All rights reserved.
Apr 11, 2014
Apr 11, 2014 at 9:36 PM UTC