Every night I stare into your huge brown eyes
Hoping that they'll never leave my locked gaze
I try and hold on but I know eventually you'll fade away
I keep on trying to hold on to your voice
But as the days go by I start to replace your voice with similar sounds
Like the sounds of the passing busses
The ones that passed us by while making love
at 3 am on the bus stop
I do remember your smell
So when I smell cheap ciggerettes and old spice deodorant it drives me nuts
Your touch is was gets me because I know I'll never feel this ever again
I'll never be reminded of how amazing this fealt
I never knew this would be so hard
So now I'm staring into your big brown eyes wishing so badly that this wasnt a dream
Wishing that somehow I'd run into you
Wishing that you'd realize you miss my sound miss my smell and miss my touch
Wishing you missed us

My life was like a board
Long and plain
Every single day
Was exactly the same

Each and every day
I would wake up in the morning
And i already knew
That it would be boring

My days were at an end
They held nothing for me
My life was going wrong
Thats all that it could be

My family was falling apart
I fealt no love
I flunked out of school
And turned to drugs

But then you came along
And took me in
You have shown me
How to love again

I was shy at first
I thought you would leave
Or even worse
Cheat

I mean, you are beautiful
So how can it be
That a woman like you
Came to love me

You carried my baby
You changed my life
I love you girl
I am proud to call you my wife

A devilish smile on your face, pure terror in your gaze
Dear dad, I'm nothing like you,
All my life I've been lied to,
All you ever wished for is for me to die too,
You made me who I am so whoever dies today?
Their blood is on your hands,
Tears dripping off my face, my heart ripped my feelings displaced
I'd always see you, i'd run away,
Told God to find a way.
A way i would no longer be in your life and you in mine
A way to run away from everything.

I bottled up my emotions, every time i'd hear you cause a commotion.
I do this in commemoration, of the day I was born, of the day all this hate was born.
Dear dad, i'm nothing like you.
I was just a kid, and what you did to me hurt me no kidding.
I'd await the night. Only for you to appear with a heavy beating.
So whenever i see a grown up, i'm afraid they are just like you.
Bottled up emotions, that's how i discovered poetry
A way to let it all out yet not get it to you.
Coz i'm just a kid, afraid of the night, afraid of sleeping out in the dark alone

I started strong but gave up on the way,
I thought i could somehow change you, guess i was wrong.
Maybe in whatever you did you fealt at home.
But i didn't, I was heart broken when you were home.
I was happy when you were gone.
Guess that's why i hoped you'd never return.
How i hoped every f day was your last.
But you managed to pull through. Every day after worse than before

This load is too heavy on my heart i can no longer carry the weight.
So  hereby take it off myself.
They say God always makes a way, we'll maybe He doesn't want to.
They say Jesus carried our burden, why do i still feel burdened?
All the love i had for you turned to hate, now it's double fold.
Too much my heart can no longer hold.
But it's life. So maybe when you are old. Maybe you will ask for forgiveness.
Maybe i'll be gone, and you'll feel the pain.
Maybe there's something you'll really  gain.
How am I to tell the future? All want is for this to end.

I tie this noose to my neck,
My heart you did break, so why not my neck?
I need a break from all this, so i crave for this peace.
Just know I'm nothing like you.
I gave up sure, but i'd rather die than live a life so impure.
Once you in there's no cure.
Goodbye Dad!!!! I just Died!!!!. Bury me 3 feet under.
Let my body dry from thunder.
I'M NOTHING LIKE YOU.
       ~ EnXy Art ~
     √ Art Alive √
       ©2020