"extramarital" poems
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The extramarital affairs of husband or wife could be caused by anyone or more of the following reasons:
Astrological Factors
Constantly increasing distance between husband and wife
Differences in the lifestyle and priorities of the two married partners
Absence of full confidence in the other partner
Understanding and compatibility problems between husband and wife
Easily available company of an alluring person of opposite gender
Lack of marital harmony, intimacy, and succulence
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Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 2:54 AM UTC
Good morning, class! I am your substitute teacher, and I will be teaching you your ABC’s today. Let’s not waste time and just dive right in!
A is for Anxiety. That’s that feeling you get when you go to recess and see the bullies waiting for you on the playground.
B is for ******* If you don’t know what that means, that’s when your daddy abandons you before he even gave you a chance.
C is for Cranky. That’s what I feel right now because I had to get up early today to come in here to teach you brats your alphabet, and I’m getting paid **** for it.
D is for Dog. Mine died, and if you have one, yours will eventually die too. That’s another D word for ya.
E is for Empty. Empty hearts. Empty souls. Empty stares. Empty lives.
F is for Friends. Friends will **** all over you.
G is for Girlfriends. They’ll rip out your heart and stomp all over it.
H is for Hell. It’s the world we live in.
I is for Idiot. Which is what you are if you ask a question.
J is for ******* Which is another term for donkey – another D word.
K is for Knife.
L is for Love. Your parents will tell you they love you, but they don’t mean it.
M is for Money. If you want to make a lot of it when you grow up, deal drugs.
N is for Neglect. That means when your parents ignore you cause they’re too busy with their pretentious jobs and their extramarital affairs. If you don’t know what that means, don’t worry. Time will teach you.
O is for Optimistic. Stay positive – just not HIV-positive.
P is for ********** Judging by the intelligence level of this class, that is a bright career opportunity for several of you.
Q is for Queasy. Which is what you feel when you are hungover.
R is for Respect. You don’t earn it. You take it.
S is for Secrets that no one will ever keep.
T is for Tranquilizer. I have one waiting for me for when I get home tonight.
U is for Ugly. That’s adolescence.
V is for… Only girls have them.
W is for Wood Chuck. How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
X is for Xenophobic. That’s what you will all grow up to be because your mom taught you to never talk to strangers.
Y is for Yes. That's what you have to say to everyone to get anywhere in life.
Z is for Zoloft. I should probably up my dose.
Apr 7, 2013
Apr 7, 2013 at 7:09 PM UTC
I laugh
when I hear
conservatives talk about,
the sanctity of marriage,
and No Adam and Steve,
when I couldnt count
the number
of extramarital indiscretions
committed by them,
if I was a centipede,
with five toes on each leg.
I laugh
when I hear
progressives talk about
Conservative fear mongerin tactics.
Have you seen any of these
anti cigarette comercials lately?
Who thought it would be a good Idea
to put a ****** arterial cleanin surgery video
on Comedy Central? :)
I laugh
when I hear
conservatives say
they are going to do
everythin possible to keep
Obama from servin a second term...
and yet they nominate
Mitt Romney as their man to do it.
Who's gonna vote for a robot? :p
I laugh
when I hear progressives
call conservatives nazi's,
and then tell me
I shouldn't be
doin this,
or that,
or I should belive in somethin I can't see...
like change. :D
Vote Ron Paul!
because those other
douchbags
don't know
what they're talkin about.
Jun 17, 2012
Jun 17, 2012 at 5:23 AM UTC
Live life without limits with a new breath,
It can give you the freedom to do anything your heart desires,
Of course, such claims in advertising never really mean all they say,
Who ever heard of living life without limits?
Millions, however, think they are doing just that,
HaHa most of them don’t even own a Cadillac,
Most have rejected the authority and relevance of the Bible,
Claiming that it is outdated,
Extramarital *** abortion on demand, and homosexual practices,
These are NOT acceptable,
People have become their own authority on what is right and wrong. And they call that freedom!
True freedom is not a matter of living any way we want to,
It's living within Jesus Christ’s laws and enjoying the benefits,
When we repent of our sin and receive Jesus as our Savior,
We are given eternal life!!!
We can have fellowship with God,
We are set free to live according to the Spirit and not the flesh,
A life devoted to Jesus Christ is best!
It is better than a life without limits could ever be!
True freedom is living for Jesus Christ...
Aug 1, 2015
Aug 1, 2015 at 10:02 AM UTC
Prior to our divorce, the echo chamber,
a blazed path of scorched earth where a mistletoe once grew;
I will admit, my mate was a sheep in wolf's clothing and I the opposite, an inside out porcupine.
We use to joke about it over a couple glasses of wine,
until our second therapy session, the grapes smelled sullen
and the joke was pronounced dead on arrival.
I am one to never quit: a job, a duty, yet the car was totaled,
having just installed our toddler's seat, my hand was forced.
Holidays apart, a decade of predetermined calendars,
"every others", now omnipresent words
scrolled into our patchwork speech patterns.
It was a Thursday morning, extra early, for me at least,
when I discovered my wife's "extramarital affair".
Something the lawyers like to call it, doesn't soften the blow though,
it's not like say, taking steroids, counting cards or
drinking vinegar to pass a **** test.
Merely thinking back renders my breath useless, vision impaired,
while that car wrecks at the same high speed as my heart thumps.
Allstate, just write the entire ******* check out to cash, I'm bare,
this fate was All my fault; apparently I lost her along the way.
Easier to do nowadays with what, say everything nowadays.
Haven't gotten to the part where I,
"allegedly attempted assault", on her new lover.
I must wait for two inks to dry before divulging that burnt dirt:
one on our old divorce decree, but more importantly,
the other on her new marriage license.
FIN to be CONTINUED.
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 1:26 AM UTC
The spark was gone, love felt like rubber
We share the December-cold feeling with each other
If I run out of ink, please tickle my heart with the feather
And with the tip, poke my curiosity and passion
Because I'm slow now due to grown-up friction
And being idle feels like a growing addiction
The comfort I feel is my demise; creative destruction
Maybe it was my extramarital affair with distraction
But trust me, it was the heat that kept us together
Entwined thoughts and rhyming so clever
The cold was gone, love felt like warm summer
Jan 3, 2020
Jan 3, 2020 at 10:47 AM UTC