"exorcise" poems
There is something beautiful about two sad people who agree to hurt each other.
Something comforting.
It is a comfort only very damaged people understand- the tacit agreement to cause pain, and to receive it.
Pleasure is for people who have what they want.
But for those of us who are starving, ours is best peppered with suffering.
Being with someone who understands that carries its own worth-
I don't want you to make me feel good.
I couldn't stand it if you did.
I don't want you to touch me gently, or ask if I'm alright, or stop to look into my eyes.
I am starving, and so are you: I want your teeth.
I want you to make me hurt. And I want to hurt you.
I want you to hurt me because I'm not him, and I want to hurt you because you're not her.
We want to see each other suffer because we are starving and we need to feel that someone else is.
Don't hold back. I want you to lower me because I'm too good for her.
Don't love me, don't caress me. Dig your nails in. Drip candlewax on my stomach.
One step down from torture is all I can stand in the way of human connection, when it isn't her.
Punish me for looking at her like a baleful puppy tonight, even as you waited in my room with your soft skin and your sharp teeth.
There is nothing you can do that will be too violent, too brutal, too sadistic.
I don't want to be loved right now.
I am too raw.
I want to be touched. I want to be ruined. Leave marks. Smear lipstick.
Lower me because I am
Too
****
Good for her.
Let this heart know on no uncertain terms that its needs don't matter.
Help me **** it. Help me pin my demons to the bed and make them writhe, and I will do the same for you.
Let's exorcise our loves tonight and banish them to hell.
Let's tell our skin that it is irrelevant.
Let's say **** you" to the things that bind us. I will cut your heart out for him.
I will kiss your scars, not to heal them but to remind you that when you put them there you fought for something, something we both fight for now.
Hurt me. Fight her. Do it for her.
Do it for her because I'm not good enough to hurt.
Do it for her because I'm TOO good to hurt.
Crush me.
You could boil me alive and it wouldn't make up for her, so at least leave me bruised.
I will give you what you need, and you will give me what I need: not love, but contact.
Please,
Let my heart know on no uncertain terms that its needs
Don't
Matter.
There is something beautiful about two sad people who agree to hurt each other.
Jan 25, 2015
Jan 25, 2015 at 3:55 AM UTC
Something lives below my skin,
It’s burrowed down, deep within
It burns my body, wearing me thin
And that ***** won’t ever give in
It scrabbles and rives, as I tear me apart
With nails like knives, so close to my heart
I claw at my limbs with fingers that seek
To split open my flesh, the tissue so weak
Blood busts forth as I tear at the itch
As I work hard to get rid of this *****
My nails dyed red, I can not stop now
The need so strong, to exorcise it somehow
Covered in scars, scabbing and sore
As I cry with the pain, limbs ragged and raw
I pause for a moment waiting to see
If it is no longer residing in me
Holding my breath, maybe its gone
If I can’t rid myself of this wrong
This dark demon will drive me insane
But it comes crawling again and again
Something lives below my skin,
It’s burrowed down, deep within
It burns my body, wearing me thin
And that ***** won’t ever give in
Oct 20, 2014
Oct 20, 2014 at 10:58 AM UTC
It's a new dawn as the sun kiss the grounds
where wet dew penetrates the green grass
fresh happenings opens like a lotus flower
giving some purity from the murkiest pond
Ohh gentle wind of this pristine winter
embrace me in the song of the unborn day
let the disuse be the productivity that I long
let the grieve be the rebirth of new hope
Ohh gentle warmth of the sun ray stroke
shine the light and guide me in the day
let the vision of my happiness unfold
let the rocky cliffs clear to never return
Ohh gentle rain from above the clouds
wash the stained fuelled thoughts today
let the pride of life don the paradise
let the joy of life exorcise the yesterdays
Dec 26, 2016
Dec 26, 2016 at 5:42 AM UTC
Going on a road trip
Something for my soul
It's gonna take a while
But, it's gonna make me whole
I'm going to cross the country
But, I'll start on both the coasts
I've been in too many bottles
Have to exorcise some ghosts
Mile Marker Three Three Three Nine
That's where the dream did end
Mile Marker Three Three Three Nine
That's where I'll start to mend
Greyhound bus out of the east
From the Maritimes my son
I'll venture through Quebec as well
This is journey number one
I'll stop and meet the people
Get their stories, of the man
I'll find the ones who met him
Try to learn just what I can
Adversity, I've had my share
Always tried self medication
Now, I need to find myself
This will take some dedication
I'll head on through Ontario
On the Trans Canada Highway route
And I'll try lose my demons
Give my devils all the boot
Brick by brick I'll bring down the walls
That over years I've built
Bricks made up of hate and rage
by love, and fear and guilt
From the west, I'll make my way
Do the highway he could not
Through the rocky mountains
Every mile is hard fought
I'll learn about the person
Who he was and who I am
I'll come through the fire stronger
I'll be a much better man
I will bus across the prairies
Through the Manitoba cold
I will focus on my endgame
I'll learn from what I'm told
Two journeys I will travel
Neither one from coast to coast
But, both are to be ended
by that famous mile post
Maybe I can find the answer
Join myself, go through the door
As he joined a nation
So many years before
Mile Marker Three Three Three Nine
That's where my journey ends
Mile Marker Three Three Three Nine
That's where I'll start to mend
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 12:16 AM UTC
[Crime-scene. Time ceases to exist for YOU,
the necrophile. YOU are on top of the corpse.]
YOU:
Cadaver, corpse, a body's just a body
and yes, I'm guilty, sleeping with the dead
it loves me, then it doesn't love me.
[Beat]
The rosary you must! To rest in peace, so
transfigure me baby while warm on my bed.
Cadaver, corpse, a body's still a body.
Indulge me; martyr to your livid beads
please intercede for me, oh, please I beg
for it loves me, then it doesn't love me.
[Beat]
Now shall I exorcise you; set you free, from
the purgatory found between my legs?
My body, yours a corpse, but still a body,
And when your sinews loosen, skin erased
by time who shows no mercy for the dead,
will you still love me then, or won't you?
[Beat]
To resurrect is daunting, but you shall have
the body that my kiss declares undead.
Cadaver, corpse, a body's just a body,
which loves me, 'til it doesn't love me.
[Exeunt]
Mar 31, 2020
Mar 31, 2020 at 3:03 PM UTC
Its a phantom in my conscience
that haunts my evenings often
but is gone when the sun arises
where the tortures remain constant
I am not what you see
these were not my dreams
a cartoon buffoon for you
to point and laugh with glee
This isnt why I did this
I didnt know the expense
I put my heart for all to see
to verify my existence
Trying to exorcise my insides
by the tears that I cry
but it doesnt wash away
the pain within my mind
When most of these people
only see me for my alter ego
they want the struggling of my soul searching
to always remain feeble
So sorry Im untrusting
all I wanted was a friend
yet again when I have nothing
theyre all gone with the wind
Hollow another bottle
heres another *****
be our joker of sorrow
expose your madness some more
Youre here for our amusement
you have a gift so use it
split your personality
give us the one that self abuses
Why are you so quiet?
its not the Jeremy that I know
isnt it time to riot?
where is your red nose?
Dec 21, 2013
Dec 21, 2013 at 12:30 PM UTC
I can’t get to sleep at night for fear of what I see,
There is definitely something strange happening to me.
I see Demons in my bedroom dancing round my bed-
Devils on my inner lids poisoning my head.
Beelzebub is running riot driving me insane,
Demons just won’t let me rest-they’re causing grief and pain.
I’ve tried taking tablets; I’ve tried counting sheep
But nothing ever seems to work I still can’t get to sleep.
‘Cause there’s Demons in my bedroom, screaming and a prancing.
Every time I close my eyes I see the Devil dancing.
Weir wolfs howling all night through, Old Nick running riot.
Perhaps it is the food I eat, I’ll have to change my diet.
Sometimes I sneak to bed real late and try to be unheard
But in the cupboards they must wait, I know it sounds absurd.
As soon as I turn off the light and snuggle down to sleep
I get the most enormous fright when out they start to creep.
They just won’t keep from out my head-
Moonlight wakes the living dead.
Demons dance and weir wolf’s scream;
I know that it’s not just a dream,
‘Cause I can’t get to sleep at all
Sometimes it drives me up the wall.
I toss and turn and scream and shout,
The neighbours ask what it’s about.
But I’m afraid to ever say
They’ll think I’m mental straight away,
What normal person sees this sight?
When off to bed they go at night?
I don’t know, I can’t explain,
I know it’s driving me insane.
I’ll ask the vicar round for tea,
Then ask him if he’ll stay with me
To exorcise these hellish visions;
He’s sure to make the right decisions.
He shouldn’t ask or be judgemental
Even if he thinks I’m mental.
Surely there must be some hope,
If there’s not I just can’t cope.
I ask, could you sleep safe and sound
To know your bed has Demons round?
Answers truthfully, please don’t lie.
No You Couldn’t! Nor can I.
Dec 9, 2009
Dec 9, 2009 at 9:53 AM UTC
i once thought how easily
i could compare my love
to my eating disorder
sometimes i want all of you
to devour you hungrily
consuming you with greedy hands
only to exorcise you out
when i feel unworthy
other times it sneaks up on me
your name humming in the dark
leaving me starving
for nothing will satisfy but you
if only i could let myself
have a single taste
to press my teeth upon your heart
and feel your blood rising
to meet mine
then, once all i could taste was you
once you kissed every corner
of my honey soaked mouth
i would spit you out
before i could swallow you whole
before the hurt came
and ruined me entirely.
Apr 2, 2022
Apr 2, 2022 at 6:44 AM UTC
A tease, a tease,
oh how I am a tease,
for I write poems of which
you shall never ever read!
I eke, I eke,
these thoughts with blood as ink,
on gasping pages drowning
in the anguish that I bleed!
I speak, I speak,
of demons I've yet freed,
solely expelled for exorcise,
whose omens I must take heed!
I tease, I tease,
I do not aim to please,
for I write poems of which
you shall never ever read!
May 16, 2016
May 16, 2016 at 10:54 PM UTC
After the milking's done,
Farmer gone to house and bed,
Rag-tag tabbies, half-breed furs,
Assemble by the milking stool
Yowl a bit, then settle down to purrs.
Rosined up, a straw-boned bow
Emits a violinic fiddle's skirl,
And one by one the mousers
Stand on twos to take a matted floor.
Come, let us see you pirouette,
You puissant pouncers.
Lightly spin those furry toes;
Sheath deep those claws to put
Perfection in your prances;
Balance on your tails, and spin;
Exercise or exorcise in cattish dances
The feline feelings you are in.
Dance happily and furiously...
Or sinuously and slow...
Whatever moods mouse-
Murderers can feel or know.
Enjoy the dance, ye half-breed cats.
Never mind the jealous schemes of mice,
Nor terroristic plots of leagues of rats.
Mar 31, 2012
Mar 31, 2012 at 1:15 PM UTC
U no, eat sins two mee,
u guise knead
two loose wait
sew hear, aye woosh
two
offal ewe sum add vice
Ewe can star art
**** ditto menation
aunt u knead too exorcise
Moove eat, keep mooving
moove mulch; doe nut ****
down two mulch, move you’re *****
inn smell poorshuns
Ant walk two da shups
in stayed off you sing da carr
Dee impotent ding
hiss da wheel
four wear they’re’s
a wheel, they’re’s all weighs
a weigh
goad lick
loose wait
anne stain hell tea
Jan 22, 2014
Jan 22, 2014 at 4:32 AM UTC
Flashbacks of a juvenile burning curiosity like the charm of a snake, outside looking in...And all the setbacks between the two sides luring the tediosity to take some straight on the side while school is in.
Big ups, the cotton wool is pulled over our eyes, how do you shape-shift between freedom and destruction?? I pick you up through the rotten like a fool even though I know inside I can't escape a stiff one, while you lead them down that path of destruction. The comfort of Noah being a drunk is naive, I delve in your chemical name called Spirits. That's why you're a demon drug like how Eve and Adam were beguiled into this subliminal game and lost the Sphinx. Master of inebriation, you're probably the cause of an Old Man's flaws or the reason why we lost our Love for...The Answer to Liberation, seeing Old Timers and Mentors slip and fall on odour tavern floors...
Excuse me and watch your step, tomorrow they might think I'm on drugs coz' of your transgressions. Exclude me and watch you're back, you never know...they might just think I'm a **** coz' of your aggression. Exorcise in solitude and stop disturbing the peace between families and friends. Our Sisters are now exercising fortitude in the fog, curbing their dreams by imbibing in fantasies and trends.
Pains to see Good Men possessed out of success and in denial...
But then again Real Men will profess out of such stress and be the Lion.
Hear that...craziness cunning hard for a kiss of ***
"You wanna forget your troubles?"
I say Cheers to that blaziness coming hard...you can kiss my ***
"Give me another double".
Apr 23, 2014
Apr 23, 2014 at 5:27 AM UTC
walked along the beach
barefoot, blinded
by a sun that
refused to rise
and a past
that refused to set
the ethereal glow
of the twilight
burned violet
reflections off
of the ocean
and the sand
raised a hand
to cover the
glare of the
sun exploding
sprawling out
against the horizon
sun rays over the water
laid out toward
me like avenues
of heat and radiation
stretched out
in endless highway
or perhaps fingers
caressing
tendrils of light
that lover
you knew but
never touched
the violet sunrise
stretches over the ocean
lapping your feet
tearing at them
the beggar grasping
at the ankle, pulling
soon knee deep
the violet seeping
through
the shore recedes
as station to train
and the journey continues
waist deep
violets bleed to orange
and ****** red
the sun is up
yet the past still haunts
with failing eyesight
hindsight is still twenty twenty
and the water is cool
there is a
breeze from the sea
chest deep
the avenues open up
divide and collide
all roads
lead toward one destination
the tendrils on that golden hand
beckon me closer
who was that lover?
she once had a name
neck deep
and the sun is up so high
up so high
where are the clouds?
there was supposed
to be rain today
water is up to
the eyes and rising
failing eyesight
and hindsight remains
twenty twenty
unfortunately
but for the first time
it appears that
I can see
where I am going
as well as what
is behind
As I submerge
I feel the past close up
behind me
it bottles up as hot air
as the demon forever
clawing at my neck
exhale and exorcise
the sun sets violet
hewed with crimson
growing colder
the water gets deeper
reflections
through the waves
spears of violet
jab at seaweed
with failing eyesight
there is no past to see
there is no future
there is only the sea
Jul 3, 2013
Jul 3, 2013 at 11:03 AM UTC
at the navel
part me
with your tongue
lickstrip the human
until primal claws
my soul undone
a shuddering peak
of milky peach
carnal prowess
rippling beats thru me
marking territory
in teeth and cream
latching onto
every inch
of salted slick
tentacle binding
your swell
into my
deep
I drink
your being
coming
raw
shaking thighs exorcise
leaking all I'm not
in glisten streaks
we pry
the edges
and escape
our bones
worlds parting
at ripe lips
surrender me
in drip glitch haven
where your every
eye roll, ****
and murmur
sends me further
than I ever
knew
I could go
Feb 15, 2017
Feb 15, 2017 at 9:53 AM UTC
Find me Medusa, wrap her
snakes around my waist,
they nestle into, the buzzard bee,
form skulls, refusing my escape
hornets haven,
seeing the, ringlets form, I
am reminded of those,
serpents you took from,
me
all for your own gain, shame,
pass me the apple, tainted
love to wish upon despicable
me
my head caught, clouded
feathers fuss, entwine with
those branches carrying,
devils food, just one crunch of
that apple, killing
me
bearing forbidden fruit, exorcise
the red demon, succulent, free
shoot me with, those golden
spun, oppressed, distressed,
eyes of an angel, wilting within
me
or am I the, enslaved
a figment of myself, I
view daily, without, marking
my skin, to know I am
alive, is this
me
rosary beads, pray to a,
Holy Spirit, keep the memory
form a rosette
a noose,
around my neck.
© Sia Jane
Feb 24, 2014
Feb 24, 2014 at 1:19 PM UTC
Pity for the whole world now. I wasn’t enough suffering. And when I’m in, the little things become sun. They shine in my direction and they are so strong and they are so meaningful and they are so blue and noticing them is my tragedy.
I can feel the smooth wind hurting my face, why are you so gentle? You are joy of sadness, my simple need to cry out all the thorns inside, to exorcise shadows, to forget the wounds, even if they are not cured. Because when I’m in there is a grieving unknown, I can smell her, and I can see her, and I become so desperate, and I take her for me, and I like her for a moment. Then I regret it.
I feel different now, I feel repelled, I feel blind, deaf and mute. I just feel us
I pity the whole world now, I pity her
I have to leave it for a while because I’ve just forgot the wounds. For how long?
05/2011
Feb 15, 2013
Feb 15, 2013 at 9:53 PM UTC
You had sung of grapes too
and transposed curious waves of hair.
But the icon grafted
next to namesake
had borne no resemblance.
A spectral fire (you).
I exorcise the evidence
and tear down your temples.
A different current caught you
another foreign wave.
Mar 9, 2012
Mar 9, 2012 at 7:00 PM UTC
And the knowledge of the hedgerow plant, I found embedded in leaf veins ... like in mine, etched along blue lines of a notebook. In the ripples on the remnants of water that pooled, before the mudflats claimed them are the striations of ol'butot near Naivasha. His stories tell of caves, a gleaming obsidian of a pre historic introspection. Do forty day fasts suffice to exorcise the springs of sulphur or the forced baptism of a flash flood washing six souls to Hades ? The sun glinted at me through a narrowness of fate, a gorge of interminable seconds and I marvelled at the strata of time in a warp, for it blurted out a moan.
Love spoke in nuanced layers of molten flow that crawled to stillness. Can I not say that stone speaks? A couple of hundred years back in time, self titled discoverers had seen land that had not been unseen by the thousands who lived for thousands until then. So yes, the strata spoke to me, like the striations in the leaves and the lines that were everywhere telling stories of interminable seconds. Time grooves like a death valley in an engraving, etched like a memory of that which has never been, ripples on sand, circles on water,
Apr 12, 2021
Apr 12, 2021 at 10:49 AM UTC
strange
isn’t it
how
memories
pique our moods like
mountains
bursting
through the
stratosphere
only to be sent
plummeting to the
depths of an
abyss
darker
and
deeper
than Marianas Trench
at the flip of a
switch
subtle triggers
found in the way
someone laughs
or when a co-worker
grins
out of the corner of
his or her
mouth
i see you
in the characters of the
literature and
films we used to critique
over coffee
hiding in the vestiges
of Daenerys Targaryen
or
Mélanie Laurent
you are France
an entire country
unto yourself
the smell of the sea
clings to your skin cells
in ways i
only wish
i could
you are in every
solitary
letter of Helvetica
whispering
softly
of things that
were
of things that
are
and of some things that
have not yet come to pass
you float
in the carcinogenic smoke
of cigarettes
a silhouette
corporeal particles
i exorcise
with equal parts
relief
and
regret
every night that i
paint the town
in neon colors
of vibrant life
i write your name
when i
vandalize
and fantasize
that you are
somehow with me
maybe floating happily
in the molecules
of aerosol
spreading across the
concrete
you’re in every song
by Brand New
like the residue of
dew drying on
the leaves
in the
mid-morning
light
lingering
even as
the sun calls you
home
the way i lingered
on your doorstep
to make sure that
you made it safely
back inside your
home
i’ve come to find that
i am equal parts
melancholy
and
blithe
and
i think that i
can finally say
i’m getting better
but
to borrow
a page
from Vonnegut
i’d be lying if
i said i didn’t still
catch
myself feeling
sorry
about the things that
no longer
matter
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014 at 10:11 AM UTC
Can I pick your brain
Off the record
I got the blues
But it's not cause I don't have green
Don't knock it till you tape it
You see
I couldn't exorcise a demon
But I entertained an angel
He warned me of the secret destroyers
But without a name, a face
How do we keep the facts straight
God can land in any body at any time
And so can his other half
The dark master in white
Lays a thin-veiled canopy
Turns day into a moonless night
Had a lethal conversation
With a top-hat man
In a public place
And I can't get his smug grin
Out of my mind
Nostalgia's just bitter
Intoxicated by the trees
And these god-fearing people
Make it feel like voodoo
Religious machinery
And sunburnt souls
I'm so lost
What is deep and what is death
What is bottom when it's cold liquid
Not rock
Amnesia
Cruel euthanasia
It came
It conquered
It had my eyes for a moment
Then it was gone
I just want to go to the place
Where there is no truth
Cause there is no judge
One-legged animals
That somehow get around
Nov 26, 2011
Nov 26, 2011 at 12:39 AM UTC
I stand
Corrected.
You were right.
It was all my fault.
It was my fault
I couldn't handle
The demons of your past
While trying to
Exorcise my own.
It was my fault
I couldn't slay
The dragons
Surrounding your tower
And save you from yourself.
It was my fault
I couldn't swoop in
And pluck you
From the depths
Of your Hell's fires.
It was my fault
I couldn't save you.
It was all my fault
Because I couldn't see
Past the end of my own nose.
It was my fault
I learned to cook and clean
And pay all the bills
When I was eight years old.
(You were "sick" on the couch.)
It was my fault
I learned self defense
And how to slid a knife
Between a man's ribs
When I was twelve years old.
(You threw me out on the street to fend for myself.)
It was my fault
I learned the sweet taste
Of the siren named Whisky
And her silken embrace's escape
When I was fourteen years old.
(You put the first bottle in my hand.)
It was my fault
I learned the power
Of Death
And became his closest friend
When I was sixteen years old.
(You said you'd never wanted me to begin with.)
It was my fault
I learned the truth
And had to choose
Between me and you
And I couldn't choose you
Because I had finally seen
The real view:
It was all my fault
That I so blindly
Trusted
Adored
Worshipped
Loved
you.
It was all my fault.
And I stand corrected.
Sep 21, 2015
Sep 21, 2015 at 9:45 PM UTC
If only I could summon the will to banish my daemons;
Exorcise the rot that for too long has brought me low;
Waged a war unseen and unheard by the outside;
Inside, a mutinous cacophony of a ****** battlefield;
Where the parts of me unfouled by corruption, weep;
Tears of crimson blood run down as flowing rivers rage;
Anger, that the current refuses to change its course;
Sadness, that I was the one who had diverted destiny;
Swept away by tides no mortal man can hope to shake;
Trapped, like mighty Atlas, beneath the weight of fate;
An unfortunate purgatory of endless indecision;
A fear to see myself beyond the scars I have caused;
Calloused, my pessimism knows no boundaries;
There can be no going back to brighter days;
When days are comparable only to the blackest night;
Sunrises carry the gravitas of the setting sun, reversed;
Life, loses the beauty that once inspired the muse;
Leaving me feeling empty, lost on 'oft forgotten seas;
Praying for Charybdis to churn and drown my daemons;
Finally setting me free from this self imposed slavery;
Shattering the chains holding my past to my present
Jun 15, 2024
Jun 15, 2024 at 1:21 PM UTC