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"entry" poems
Saturday afternoon:  She came over for the audition. She was wearing a black leather mini, black blouse, black fish net stockings and black high heels. She was hot. So was I...She told me to get on my knees and look under her shirt.  Her perfectly shaved ***** greeted me, followed by her flat stomach and bra-less breast. I couldn't resist -  I reached up, grabbed her, and throw her on the couch. I wanted to **** her right there but, she stopped me. She said that she wanted to touch it first. That, she loved touching her ***** after it's shaved- the friction of flesh rubbing against flesh, the sensation, made her *** harder. She said she wanted me to shave her the next time - so I can watch her *** the help her wash everything off.  She says a lot of things... After all, its only an audition
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May 3, 2014
May 3, 2014 at 3:59 AM UTC
Entry 1
In my heart, you are an asset But in my mind, a liability You are an entry I can't forget That's slowly shaking my equity. Loving you is an understatement For a beauty's carrying value And so I made an adjustment Of the love that I must issue. But your heart had a preference For someone who's not me Who can give you more dividends Than a hopeful ordinary. All my hope was expensed For such unrecoverable loss And the business I've commenced Resulted in an opportunity cost. And so you went depreciating Ending this going concern There's this pain accumulating From a romance unearned. Now I'm left here to close All the journals I've made Correct the errors I chose For a love that I would trade.
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Jul 22, 2013
Jul 22, 2013 at 10:38 AM UTC
Accounting 143
Driving up the highway When I saw it in the mist Like a pure and tender ****** Still waiting to be kissed A village all forgotten Somehow time had missed You could see it from the highway slightly hazy in the mist Had time forgotten this poor place Left in limbo for all days Was it just a trick of light and sun Manufactured through the haze Were the folks here ****** to stay Out of reach but in our gaze Or were they truly here by choice Living old, forgotten ways Brigadoon did spring to mind but, in truth I thought this good Be something better than that curse This village protected by the wood I pulled on to the shoulder And tried to see as best I could This simple town or vision That had not aged as it should I saw no point of entry No way to get there from my place It was perfect, untouched, special A village bathed in grace Folks kept driving past me Up the highway at such pace They would never see this village In the mist as fine as lace The village may be magic It may be something in between In truth all I can tell you What I saw, not what I mean It's a village, plain and simple in the woods, all shades of green Un-kissed, and yet so perfect stuck in stasis, in between
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Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 11:55 PM UTC
Village in the mist
In my shyness . . . At times I retreat to my "shell," Clinging to the security of being alone. In my shyness . . . I may attempt to merge with my surroundings-- To be ignored, unnoticed, a silent voice rarely heard. In my shyness . . . I can feel completely alone, Although surrounded by people. In my shyness . . . I'm perceived as having a padlocked soul-- And few try to gain entry into my realm. In my shyness . . . Few will dare venture to really know me-- To hear my quiet voice or to really try to understand. In my shyness . . . I can have a myriad of words to say, Yet, my sealed lips will not release them. In my shyness . . . The words I do speak will at times be jumbled, And I'll feel worse for having spoken them. In my shyness . . . I will be viewed as "stuck up" and unfriendly, Labeled by the presumption of a troubled past. Yet, despite my shyness . . . I will at times emerge from my "shell," And you may catch a glimpse of who I am. And despite my shyness . . . I may put on a good "front," Disguising my innermost insecurities. Despite my shyness . . . A select few will manage to penetrate these "walls," With the sharing of time and the evolving of trust. My shyness . . . Frequently unrecognized, seldom understood-- A shackle, a haven, a veil.
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Dec 29, 2013
Dec 29, 2013 at 3:18 AM UTC
in my shyness
She slides over the hot upholstery of her mother's car, this schoolgirl of fifteen who loves humming & swaying with the radio. Her entry into womanhood will be like all the other girls'— a cigarette and a joke, as she strides up with the rest to a brick factory where she'll sew rag rugs from textile strips of kelly green, bright red, aqua. When she enters, and the millgate closes, final as a slap, there'll be silence. She'll see fifteen high windows cemented over to cut out light. Inside, a constant, deafening noise and warm air smelling of oil, the shifts continuing on ... All day she'll guide cloth along a line of whirring needles, her arms & shoulders rocking back & forth with the machines— 200 porch size rugs behind her before she can stop to reach up, like her mother, and pick the lint out of her hair.
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11.8k
Womanhood
A big planet filled to the brim with chozo ghosts X parasite hosts and things that want me dead my power suit lost all the beams missiles, energy tanks, space jump, even additional armor is gone I'm all alone on this world to conquer but I don't have time for a bad fur day, I must get onto the impact crater.... Samus Log Entry 6/1/2119
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Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 11:59 AM UTC
Tallon 4
Entry ~ I know you're scared. You should be scared. You're taking a huge leap of faith leaving the only "home" you've ever known. But that home you built isn't four walls, and a solid tin roof. It's your soul. It's that thumping in your chest that keeps you awake at 2am. It's the memories you've stored, locked away tight behind steel bars, because god only knows if those bars weren't there those memories would hit you like the eye of a storm. Calm at first, sweet, but then painful, like shards of glass beneath your feet. And I know how much it hurts to leave. To walk away from so many unresolved things. To remove yourself from the lives of people you rely on, that rely on you. But part of living is knowing when to leave. It's knowing when your environment no longer suits the shell you're in. It's easy to tell when that chapter of your life begins. It starts with a slow depression easing its way in, and an unexplained restlessness. I know how much you fight it. The warning signs telling you it's time to go again. You are so afraid of being free, but your curiosity has its own needs. It was never a choice being free. It's always been a part of your destiny. I know you've felt that unexplainable presence easing your anxiety. And it's okay to breathe. It's okay to just be. To not know where you're going to be next spring. It's all a part of the plan. You need to have faith that those guiding you won't lead you astray. You are being protected, and I know you aren't religious, but when you feel like you've lost your way, fall to your knees, and pray. Look for the butterfly, and have faith that one small act of courageousness will set your life in motion. But you have to be willing to take action first. So flap your wings, and don't be afraid of the tornado that follows. You created your fear, and only you can survive in the wake of it.*
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Sep 8, 2017
Sep 8, 2017 at 2:14 PM UTC
The Butterfly Effect
Entry ~ I know you're scared. You should be scared. You're taking a huge leap of faith leaving the only "home" you've ever known. But that home you built isn't four walls, and a solid tin roof. It's your soul. It's that thumping in your chest that keeps you awake at 2am. It's the memories you've stored, locked away tight behind steel bars, because god only knows if those bars weren't there those memories would hit you like the eye of a storm. Calm at first, sweet, but then painful, like shards of glass beneath your feet. And I know how much it hurts to leave. To walk away from so many unresolved things. To remove yourself from the lives of people you rely on, that rely on you. But part of living is knowing when to leave. It's knowing when your environment no longer suits the shell you're in. It's easy to tell when that chapter of your life begins. It starts with a slow depression easing its way in, and an unexplained restlessness. I know how much you fight it. The warning signs telling you it's time to go again. You are so afraid of being free, but your curiosity has its own needs. It was never a choice being free. It's always been a part of your destiny. I know you've felt that unexplainable presence easing your anxiety. And it's okay to breathe. It's okay to just be. To not know where you're going to be next spring. It's all a part of the plan. You need to have faith that those guiding you won't lead you astray. You are being protected, and I know you aren't religious, but when you feel like you've lost your way, fall to your knees, and pray. Look for the butterfly, and have faith that one small act of courageousness will set your life in motion. But you have to be willing to take action first. So flap your wings, and don't be afraid of the tornado that follows. You created your fear, and only you can survive in the wake of it.*
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Thinking about pizza as I'm here it's warm with the ovens going the order has been placed i sit and wait and wait and wait no time erased, only 1 minute elapsed I feel like I'm swimming laps in a tomato sauce pool with black olives for floaties the sauce is well past my knees so hungry and desperate just to get a slice of this great American pizza pie it makes my heart swell my eyes not dry i'm gonna get eat pizza until i die and if there comes a day when they say no more pizza no way your stomach can't handle it your intestines will flare i'll say i don't care pull the trigger in my underwear crime scene investigates saw it on the news a man covered in pizza and bottles of ***** they couldn't get in the door was unlocked a wall full of pizza boxes had the entry fully blocked but deeper inside was a man no one knew cheese oozing under the doorway cracks like glue i'm still here waiting for pizza no more imaginary trap i look at my watch the tenth minute elapsed the lifeguard gets out he's done with his swim his whistle blows everybody back in the pizza is ready time to dive in
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Mar 14, 2013
Mar 14, 2013 at 3:38 PM UTC
Pizza
*Growing to a man and embracing my life. My commitment to Allah, a journey begins with no strife. Once in a lifetime, a pilgrimage to Mecca must be the end, To my commitment to my religion and forgiveness of sin. Number 7 has meaning as the journey begins. First stop Medina, as I seek out peace. Hajj station to Bath, dress in the Ihram. Praying at Masjid Nabawi, purity, equality for all. A statement of intent, I commit to all. Entry to Masjid al-Haram complex is now allowed. Circling seven times Kaaba as I pray to God. Sipping water from Zam Zam to keep the law. Walk through the hills of Safa and Marwa times seven, Where I pray seven times more. Prayers along the way to my God, At Mount Arafat then other sacred sites. Kneeling down to pray to Allah, Day and night. Sleeping the night with 5 million strong, Then rise up to stone the devil to atone, Shaving head for cleansing, showing respect for God. Sacrifice lambs to feed the poor. Onward to Mecca, back once more. Circle Kaaba, pray to my God Repeating Tawaf on each turn of seven and no more. Circle Safa, Marwa then on to Mina. On to Mecca again for more prayers to my God Enter Makkah performing Hajj, Before the faithful return to Mecca on seven then do a farewell Tawaf.*
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Jan 14, 2016
Jan 14, 2016 at 11:28 PM UTC
Journey To Mecca
. *So here I am once more, in the playground of the broken hearts. One more experience, one more entry in a diary self-penned. Yet another emotional suicide, overdosed on sentiment and pride. To late to say I love you, to late to re-stage the play. Abandoning the relics in my playground of yesterday'.* The first words you killed me with. The first Script to make me cry. The opening song on a plate of sorrow. The opening sight of my Poets eye. Your words soaked my childlike mind as I lost on the roundabouts and swings. The Jester stands with violin and quill, composing tears on his broken strings. I sat and chewed those daffodils and I still struggle to answer why. I grew up and left that playground but its the place where my heart died. So I never did write that love song, My words just never seemed to flow. The martyrs twisted smile haunts me, my Harlequins head dreams in sorrow. The game is over. The game is over. © Pagan Paul (22/05/17)
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May 22, 2017
May 22, 2017 at 1:14 PM UTC
Violin and Quill
Entry ~ You were the first man that ever broke my heart. It was the day I was born. You held me in your arms and made me a promise that would rip us both apart. You promised to love me unconditionally from the start. But time passed and over the years those words faded from your heart. In the presence of a war when you had one foot out the door. There are vacancies in my memories where a father should have played a part. Like teaching me to drive a car, or telling me don't believe boys that say I love you from the start. Instead, I looked at every boy with tears in my eyes and willingly accepted every single lie, thinking maybe if I part my thighs they'll learn to love how broken I am inside, but they never do. Just like you they leave without a single clue and I'm left alone, used, wishing my daddy would have loved me too. And I'm not writing this to blame you, or break you, or tell you I hate you. I've made mistakes too. Ones deeply rooted in my relationship with you. And I get that maybe you didn't have a clue that your daughter was struggling in the world without you. But I relied on you to set the standard for boys I would let into my heart. By the time I was sixteen, I felt like a tortured piece of art. I learned to love myself of course. Over the years of ripping myself apart I learned to chart the darkness in my own heart. I don't blame you anymore for my broken parts. I'm healed from being angry at you. I'm writing this to tell you I'm sorry for failing you, and I'm sorry you failed me too.
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Sep 25, 2017
Sep 25, 2017 at 12:07 PM UTC
Dear Dad
Entry ~ You were the first man that ever broke my heart. It was the day I was born. You held me in your arms and made me a promise that would rip us both apart. You promised to love me unconditionally from the start. But time passed and over the years those words faded from your heart. In the presence of a war when you had one foot out the door. There are vacancies in my memories where a father should have played a part. Like teaching me to drive a car, or telling me don't believe boys that say I love you from the start. Instead, I looked at every boy with tears in my eyes and willingly accepted every single lie, thinking maybe if I part my thighs they'll learn to love how broken I am inside, but they never do. Just like you they leave without a single clue and I'm left alone, used, wishing my daddy would have loved me too. And I'm not writing this to blame you, or break you, or tell you I hate you. I've made mistakes too. Ones deeply rooted in my relationship with you. And I get that maybe you didn't have a clue that your daughter was struggling in the world without you. But I relied on you to set the standard for boys I would let into my heart. By the time I was sixteen, I felt like a tortured piece of art. I learned to love myself of course. Over the years of ripping myself apart I learned to chart the darkness in my own heart. I don't blame you anymore for my broken parts. I'm healed from being angry at you. I'm writing this to tell you I'm sorry for failing you, and I'm sorry you failed me too.
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Three weeks gone and the combatants gone returning over the nightmare ground we found the place again, and found the soldier sprawling in the sun. The frowning barrel of his gun overshadowing. As we came on that day, he hit my tank with one like the entry of a demon. Look. Here in the gunpit spoil the dishonoured picture of his girl who has put: Steffi. Vergissmeinnicht. in a copybook gothic script. We see him almost with content, abased, and seeming to have paid and mocked at by his own equipment that's hard and good when he's decayed. But she would weep to see today how on his skin the swart flies move; the dust upon the paper eye and the burst stomach like a cave. For here the lover and killer are mingled who had one body and one heart. And death who had the soldier singled has done the lover mortal hurt.
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7.6k
Vergissmeinnicht
Clusters of stars burst to life in your eyes. Your heart is like Nebulus; Orion  - your mind. You are a Constellation Of magical sensations, No natural explanation Can anyone find. Glorious spectacle. Worthy and respectable. Very unpredictable; A Constellation sublime. Fireworks are boring. I'd rather be adoring The beauty of your glory. A vision in the sky. Suspended over mortals. No entry through your portals. No duplicated models. You're one of a kind. You are a Constellation. A memorable elation. You'll have my admiration Until the day I die.
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Jan 26, 2011
Jan 26, 2011 at 9:19 AM UTC
A Constellation
From 3 p.m. Monday to 3 p.m. Tuesday <h2>Police calls <h3>LA CROSSE 3:39 p.m., Hit-and-run, 4400 block of Hwy. 16 4:11 p.m., Theft, 3700 block of Hwy. 16 4:41 p.m., Hit-and-run, 1100 block of State St. 5:37 p.m., Domestic disturbance, 1000 block of Charles St. 5:42 p.m., Theft, 2100 block of Liberty St. 5:59 p.m., Fight, Fourth and King sts. 8:08 p.m., Theft, 2400 block of Rose St. 8:08 p.m., Domestic disturbance, 400 block of Sixth St. 8:37 p.m., Domestic disturbance, 1000 block of Fifth Ave. S. 10:14 p.m., Domestic disturbance, 1600 block of Adams St. 11:32 p.m., Domestic disturbance, 1400 block of Avon St. 2:38 a.m., Domestic disturbance, 900 block of 16th St. 8:25 a.m., Theft, 3300 block of Rosehill Place 8:25 a.m., Theft, 1000 block of Ninth St. 8:26 a.m., Theft, 500 block of Main St. 8:26 a.m., Theft, 1400 block of Johnson St. 8:34 a.m., Theft, 400 block of Seventh St. 9:24 a.m., Entry to dwelling, 1600 block of Caledonia St. 9:51 a.m., Theft, 400 block of Liberty St. 11:01 a.m., Fraud, first block of Copeland Ave. 12:16 p.m., Entry to dwelling, 1000 block of State St.           <h3>ONALASKA 6:06 p.m., Animal bite, 2600 block of Midwest Drive <h3>WEST SALEM 7:40 a.m., Vandalism, 3400 block of Hwy. 16 12:13 p.m., Theft, 900 block of Hwy. 16 <h3>BANGOR 9:24 a.m., Theft, 1800 block of Commercial St. <h2>Fire Calls <h3>LA CROSSE 3:01 p.m., Accident with injury, Fourth and Mississippi sts. 4:11 p.m., Accident with injury, 4500 block of Hwy. 33 4:26 p.m., Accident with injury, Hwy. 16 and 157 5:45 p.m., First responders, 700 block of Oakland St. 6:18 p.m., First responders, 1800 block of Pine St. 6:40 p.m., Accident with injury, Main and Fourth sts. 9:27 p.m., Natural gas odor, 700 block of Ninth St. N. 10:16 p.m., First responders, 1600 block of Adams St. 10:20 p.m., First responders, 900 block of Vine St. 1:54 a.m., First responders, 4100 block of Velmar Court 8:34 a.m., First responders, 400 block of Seventh St. 9:01 a.m., First responders, 400 block of Seventh St. 10:41 a.m., Accident with injury, Ninth and Vine sts. 10:45 a.m., Carbon monoxide report, 1500 block of Main St. 10:46 a.m., First responders, 400 block of Gillette St. 11:04 a.m., Accident with injury, 1300 block of Rose St. 11:10 a.m., First responders, 1500 block of Rose St. 11:14 a.m., First responders, Fourth and King sts. 11:31 a.m., Accident with injury, 16th and Main sts. 12:05 p.m., Accident with injury, 200 block of Pearl St. 1:12 p.m., Accident with injury, Hood and Miller sts. 2:26 p.m., Accident with injury, 21st St. and Park Ave. <h3>ONALASKA 3:30 p.m., First responders, 1000 block of Westview Circle 5:09 p.m., Accident with injury, 1200 block of Hwy PH 8:02 p.m., First responders, 300 block of 12th Ave. 8:43 p.m., First responders, 300 block of 12th Ave. 8:50 p.m., First responders, 200 block of Oak Forest Drive 9:47 p.m., First responders, 200 block of Carol Lane 6:12 a.m., First responders, 1000 block of Frances Court 10:41 a.m., First responders, 7200 Northshore Lane 11:27 a.m., Accident with injury, Grant St. and Hwy. SN 11:35 a.m., Accident with injury, Commerce and Abbey roads 11:53 a.m., Accident with injury, 300 block of 11th Ave. 12:14 p.m., First responders, 5500 block of Commerce Road 1:08 p.m., First responders, 400 block of Kimberly St. 1:42 p.m., Accident with injury, 600 block of Second Ave. <h3>HOLMEN 9:59 p.m., First responders, 1500 block of Viking Ave. 10:50 a.m., Accident with injury, Sand Lake Road and Laurel Place 1:32 p.m., Accident with injury, 1400 block of Main St. <h3>WEST SALEM 8:53 a.m., First responders, 500 block of Elm St. 11:09 a.m., First responders, 300 block of Franklin St. <h3>MELROSE 1:21 p.m., First responders, 9700 block of Hwy. 108
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Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 11:07 PM UTC
Police and fire calls for Tuesday, Feb. 2, 2016
From 3 p.m. Monday to 3 p.m. Tuesday <h2>Police calls <h3>LA CROSSE 3:39 p.m., Hit-and-run, 4400 block of Hwy. 16 4:11 p.m., Theft, 3700 block of Hwy. 16 4:41 p.m., Hit-and-run, 1100 block of State St. 5:37 p.m., Domestic disturbance, 1000 block of Charles St. 5:42 p.m., Theft, 2100 block of Liberty St. 5:59 p.m., Fight, Fourth and King sts. 8:08 p.m., Theft, 2400 block of Rose St. 8:08 p.m., Domestic disturbance, 400 block of Sixth St. 8:37 p.m., Domestic disturbance, 1000 block of Fifth Ave. S. 10:14 p.m., Domestic disturbance, 1600 block of Adams St. 11:32 p.m., Domestic disturbance, 1400 block of Avon St. 2:38 a.m., Domestic disturbance, 900 block of 16th St. 8:25 a.m., Theft, 3300 block of Rosehill Place 8:25 a.m., Theft, 1000 block of Ninth St. 8:26 a.m., Theft, 500 block of Main St. 8:26 a.m., Theft, 1400 block of Johnson St. 8:34 a.m., Theft, 400 block of Seventh St. 9:24 a.m., Entry to dwelling, 1600 block of Caledonia St. 9:51 a.m., Theft, 400 block of Liberty St. 11:01 a.m., Fraud, first block of Copeland Ave. 12:16 p.m., Entry to dwelling, 1000 block of State St.           <h3>ONALASKA 6:06 p.m., Animal bite, 2600 block of Midwest Drive <h3>WEST SALEM 7:40 a.m., Vandalism, 3400 block of Hwy. 16 12:13 p.m., Theft, 900 block of Hwy. 16 <h3>BANGOR 9:24 a.m., Theft, 1800 block of Commercial St. <h2>Fire Calls <h3>LA CROSSE 3:01 p.m., Accident with injury, Fourth and Mississippi sts. 4:11 p.m., Accident with injury, 4500 block of Hwy. 33 4:26 p.m., Accident with injury, Hwy. 16 and 157 5:45 p.m., First responders, 700 block of Oakland St. 6:18 p.m., First responders, 1800 block of Pine St. 6:40 p.m., Accident with injury, Main and Fourth sts. 9:27 p.m., Natural gas odor, 700 block of Ninth St. N. 10:16 p.m., First responders, 1600 block of Adams St. 10:20 p.m., First responders, 900 block of Vine St. 1:54 a.m., First responders, 4100 block of Velmar Court 8:34 a.m., First responders, 400 block of Seventh St. 9:01 a.m., First responders, 400 block of Seventh St. 10:41 a.m., Accident with injury, Ninth and Vine sts. 10:45 a.m., Carbon monoxide report, 1500 block of Main St. 10:46 a.m., First responders, 400 block of Gillette St. 11:04 a.m., Accident with injury, 1300 block of Rose St. 11:10 a.m., First responders, 1500 block of Rose St. 11:14 a.m., First responders, Fourth and King sts. 11:31 a.m., Accident with injury, 16th and Main sts. 12:05 p.m., Accident with injury, 200 block of Pearl St. 1:12 p.m., Accident with injury, Hood and Miller sts. 2:26 p.m., Accident with injury, 21st St. and Park Ave. <h3>ONALASKA 3:30 p.m., First responders, 1000 block of Westview Circle 5:09 p.m., Accident with injury, 1200 block of Hwy PH 8:02 p.m., First responders, 300 block of 12th Ave. 8:43 p.m., First responders, 300 block of 12th Ave. 8:50 p.m., First responders, 200 block of Oak Forest Drive 9:47 p.m., First responders, 200 block of Carol Lane 6:12 a.m., First responders, 1000 block of Frances Court 10:41 a.m., First responders, 7200 Northshore Lane 11:27 a.m., Accident with injury, Grant St. and Hwy. SN 11:35 a.m., Accident with injury, Commerce and Abbey roads 11:53 a.m., Accident with injury, 300 block of 11th Ave. 12:14 p.m., First responders, 5500 block of Commerce Road 1:08 p.m., First responders, 400 block of Kimberly St. 1:42 p.m., Accident with injury, 600 block of Second Ave. <h3>HOLMEN 9:59 p.m., First responders, 1500 block of Viking Ave. 10:50 a.m., Accident with injury, Sand Lake Road and Laurel Place 1:32 p.m., Accident with injury, 1400 block of Main St. <h3>WEST SALEM 8:53 a.m., First responders, 500 block of Elm St. 11:09 a.m., First responders, 300 block of Franklin St. <h3>MELROSE 1:21 p.m., First responders, 9700 block of Hwy. 108
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I'm afraid to stay in I'm afraid to go out I'm afraid of the words that leak out of my mouth I'm afraid of my hands I'm afraid of my heart I'm afraid to share my music and the efforts of my art I'm afraid of the judgement and the lack of support I'm afraid they will laugh about my pain like it's a sport I'm afraid of the things that I've left written down I'm afraid of the sorrows in which I watch myself drown I'm afraid that somebody is seeing the real me I am vulnerable here and alone as can be I'm afraid that my God isn't listening anymore But I'm much more afraid that I've made his ears sore I'm afraid to hold on I'm afraid to let go I'm afraid to tell the people I fear what they already know I'm afraid that I want too many things I can't have I'm afraid to make myself into an *** and a half I'm afraid that I'll hurt you I'm afraid you'll hurt me back I'm afraid I'll get caught doing what I don't know is bad I'm afraid of my own journey, will I ever make it back? (intentional music break) I'm afraid to write down all of my silly fears I'm afraid that I'll be in this same place in five years I'm afraid of the world and the people that are in it I'm afraid to start off and not be able to finish **** I'm afraid to play it safe I'm afraid to sin I'm afraid of defeat And I'm terrified to win I'm afraid of my Mom's sickness taking her life I'm afraid to be devoured by the same form of strife I'm afraid if I get famous, it won't be enough I'm afraid of all the money in the world calling my bluff I'm afraid that no matter how much happiness I reach for It won't be enough to repair the pain in my core I'm afraid that I'm causing my family too much pain I'm afraid that when I'm gone the world might move the same I'm afraid that I'm crazy Even more scared that I'm sane I'm afraid to be afraid I'm afraid to be brave I'm afraid for the kids in this world that feel the same I'm afraid to write these words down in front of my own face I'm afraid that, out of fear, what I've written will be erased For concern of others like me, that would be in poor taste... So I'll let this one out and pray that I touch base I'm afraid to be feared for the fact that I'm afraid. © KD
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Mar 6, 2016
Mar 6, 2016 at 1:14 AM UTC
A Coward's Lost Journal Entry
I'm afraid to stay in I'm afraid to go out I'm afraid of the words that leak out of my mouth I'm afraid of my hands I'm afraid of my heart I'm afraid to share my music and the efforts of my art I'm afraid of the judgement and the lack of support I'm afraid they will laugh about my pain like it's a sport I'm afraid of the things that I've left written down I'm afraid of the sorrows in which I watch myself drown I'm afraid that somebody is seeing the real me I am vulnerable here and alone as can be I'm afraid that my God isn't listening anymore But I'm much more afraid that I've made his ears sore I'm afraid to hold on I'm afraid to let go I'm afraid to tell the people I fear what they already know I'm afraid that I want too many things I can't have I'm afraid to make myself into an *** and a half I'm afraid that I'll hurt you I'm afraid you'll hurt me back I'm afraid I'll get caught doing what I don't know is bad I'm afraid of my own journey, will I ever make it back? (intentional music break) I'm afraid to write down all of my silly fears I'm afraid that I'll be in this same place in five years I'm afraid of the world and the people that are in it I'm afraid to start off and not be able to finish **** I'm afraid to play it safe I'm afraid to sin I'm afraid of defeat And I'm terrified to win I'm afraid of my Mom's sickness taking her life I'm afraid to be devoured by the same form of strife I'm afraid if I get famous, it won't be enough I'm afraid of all the money in the world calling my bluff I'm afraid that no matter how much happiness I reach for It won't be enough to repair the pain in my core I'm afraid that I'm causing my family too much pain I'm afraid that when I'm gone the world might move the same I'm afraid that I'm crazy Even more scared that I'm sane I'm afraid to be afraid I'm afraid to be brave I'm afraid for the kids in this world that feel the same I'm afraid to write these words down in front of my own face I'm afraid that, out of fear, what I've written will be erased For concern of others like me, that would be in poor taste... So I'll let this one out and pray that I touch base I'm afraid to be feared for the fact that I'm afraid. © KD
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Tar-dark world. The defining color is black, the inky night of her nocturnal hunts and the deep, bottomless dark of her alien retreat. A watcher of men, she is everything and nothing. She might be too much of something, or too little of something else. Time will sort out the particulars. There are no simple entry points – she demands engagement, and to be taken as a whole. Her discomfort is over her own allure, her undisturbed surface. It’s more about intuition and gesture than dialogue. They remain as echoes. They’ve made her beautiful in a real way, with hips and blemishes and dimples in her skin. The imprint of the lives she begins to grapple with as her time on Earth extends, leads her to stop seeing herself as a mere conduit for her mission, and to start developing a sense of subjectivity. Her life force is overlapping, shaping itself into a pattern of rings that simultaneously suggests a birth canal dilating, the stages of a rocket separating, and a lunar eclipse as seen through a telescope’s lens. She's a life-form you can’t quite understand, but it’s carrying on relentlessly, like a beehive, moving backward through the constellations at first approach.
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Feb 23, 2025
Feb 23, 2025 at 2:06 PM UTC
First Approach
*finding this morning awareness of loss the obituary entry this physical sense.. those lesser deaths portrayed as loss fill electronic news.. Approaching loss or loss Approaching..? loss seems woven into our fabric.. our morning Nutrition: approaching is longing to locate disclosures of buried light under the garments we wear...*
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Mar 4, 2013
Mar 4, 2013 at 12:27 PM UTC
Approaching loss
Are there lawyers in heaven? who sells fish in a Seven-Eleven? How do you prove guilt or innocence, with the devil conspicuous in his absence? Are there barbers or pastors in Heaven? Until the End-of-Days, it is unproven; If we are to do some speculation, Better to do more charitable donations. But one profession, I quite understand, whether in hell or God's Disneyland, that will not make a good living; that's doing double entry accounting. So where do accountants go, you ask; now you really need an oxygen mask; In hell, in heaven, or anywhere you look, there's just no place to cook the books. Someone may now ask about exorcists, I hate to answer, but I just can't resist; ask your grandma or grandpa, they are in a real big dilemma. In heaven, no demons to trouble you, In hell, there are more than quite a few; In heaven, all are good, so no originality, In hell, who works for nothing for Eternity?
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Nov 13, 2010
Nov 13, 2010 at 5:09 AM UTC
Lawyers in Heaven
Growing to a man and embracing my life. My commitment to Allah, a journey begins with no strife. Once in a life time, a pilgrimage to Mecca must be the end, To my commitment to my religion and forgiveness of sin. Number 7 has meaning as the journey begins. First stop Medina, as I seek out peace. Hajj station to Bath and dress in the Ihram. Praying at Masjid Nabawi, purity, equality for all. A statement of intent, I commit to all. Entry to Masjid al Haram complex is now allowed. Circling seven times Kaaba as I pray to God. Sipping water from Zam Zam to keep the law. Walk through the hills of Safa and Marwa times seven, Where I pray seven times more. Prayers along the way to my God, At Mount Arafat and other sacred sites. Kneeling down to pray to Allah, Day and night. Sleeping the night with 5 million strong, Then rise up to stone the devil to atone, Shaving head for cleansing, showing respect for God. Sacrifice lambs to feed the poor. Onward to Mecca and back once more. Circle Kaaba and pray to my God Repeating Tawaf on each turn of seven and no more. Circle Safa, Marwa and on to Mina. Then to Mecca again for more prayers to my God Enter Makkah performing Hajj, Before the faithful return to Mecca on seven and do a farewell Tawaf.
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Jul 9, 2015
Jul 9, 2015 at 8:31 PM UTC
Journey to Mecca
fear me not, though I am armed. I have opened my entry to that next country, and my heels sit upon its border. gentler, guiltier than last time, I reach for thee and as I drown and I dry, I hope for her to see.
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Nov 27, 2015
Nov 27, 2015 at 10:23 AM UTC
Othello (Rewritten)
Speechless thoughts on site Objective strictly unknown Defining subjects involved Choose double meanings Mood swings to decipher Flourishes seek entry Results don't matter Engaging makes us think
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Nov 17, 2009
Nov 17, 2009 at 7:53 AM UTC
Mind Games
he remembers her. she was laughing at the hallway that sunny day. she could put the sun in shame, he thought. he saw the way her corner lips rise slowly, which turned her eyes into beautiful crescent moon. then she lets out the softest giggle he has ever heard, and the way she unconsciously hid her smile behind those adorable sweater paws. his heart skips a beat, he remembers.
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Aug 9, 2018
Aug 9, 2018 at 12:34 AM UTC
entry 13
Cold. I was waiting but I’ve changed my mind. The whole world fell away, left just me/us and it felt OK. All the stuff I thought mattered; age-gap, gossip, housing, education- when it was just me/us- it didn’t. (she’s awake) For a moment we were everything. It was beautiful. I love me/us- even with complications pushing into my mind, cramming themselves around me/us euphoria- I’m not making an Angel today. Going home. (what’s she doing?) Jelly legs aren’t working, feel hot and slippery. She’s holding me down. (Sshh- you’re fine, just a bit woozy) I don’t believe in Angels. Crap. (it’s the anaesthetic, makes them cry)
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Oct 13, 2011
Oct 13, 2011 at 3:44 PM UTC
re-entry
I love da sound ya ***** does make While slapping up against your sister, for Christ sake Watching you all doing the ***** deed, doggy style On ya momma's brand new, multi coloured **** pile   ***** young boys, are forever slapping, keepin’ it real While viewing ya ***** in ya year nine, high school classes Even some curious gals, like to slip in a quick feel While flashing their hallway entry, fancy gold passes Da sound ya ***** makes, ya must be using an amplifier With a **** load of flaming, boom-boom, bass   Next time though, try turning the treble up, as you were And turning down that flaming bass, just in case   This mornin’, I woke up stiff, like feelin’ as if dead Then flicked through the paper, my obituary, I just read Didn't feel that great, after we had finished the missionary Wish I was much more aware, like a future visionary I haven't even ironed my clothes or done my face For my very last day of this bright sunlight   Will I need to pack a jumbo suitcase Or maybe just some shorts and thongs On my mystery vacation, one-way flight Da sound ya ***** was making when shaking Was maybe way too loud for some, last night It put me in, like a clothes dryer spin   Police came by, just to check that no one was pranking With some spray with mace, just when I was about to sin Everyone's got an unusual craze in life Mine just happened to put me in a daze   Should've taken a much deeper breath When going down between ya momma's thighs   Send flowers to my ******* and hoes And never ever forget, ya ****** nice ways Always tried to satisfy the whole **** world But still hearing some sad **** woes I like da sound ya ***** makes Reminds me of some ole dance tracks Played by the DJ, named Georgie O’Kay While everyone dances to a beat I'm hard at work, while trying to get ya To get down lower and pretend to be ya momma.
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Sep 10, 2019
Sep 10, 2019 at 6:14 PM UTC
Da Sound Ya ***** Makes
I love da sound ya ***** does make While slapping up against your sister, for Christ sake Watching you all doing the ***** deed, doggy style On ya momma's brand new, multi coloured **** pile   ***** young boys, are forever slapping, keepin’ it real While viewing ya ***** in ya year nine, high school classes Even some curious gals, like to slip in a quick feel While flashing their hallway entry, fancy gold passes Da sound ya ***** makes, ya must be using an amplifier With a **** load of flaming, boom-boom, bass   Next time though, try turning the treble up, as you were And turning down that flaming bass, just in case   This mornin’, I woke up stiff, like feelin’ as if dead Then flicked through the paper, my obituary, I just read Didn't feel that great, after we had finished the missionary Wish I was much more aware, like a future visionary I haven't even ironed my clothes or done my face For my very last day of this bright sunlight   Will I need to pack a jumbo suitcase Or maybe just some shorts and thongs On my mystery vacation, one-way flight Da sound ya ***** was making when shaking Was maybe way too loud for some, last night It put me in, like a clothes dryer spin   Police came by, just to check that no one was pranking With some spray with mace, just when I was about to sin Everyone's got an unusual craze in life Mine just happened to put me in a daze   Should've taken a much deeper breath When going down between ya momma's thighs   Send flowers to my ******* and hoes And never ever forget, ya ****** nice ways Always tried to satisfy the whole **** world But still hearing some sad **** woes I like da sound ya ***** makes Reminds me of some ole dance tracks Played by the DJ, named Georgie O’Kay While everyone dances to a beat I'm hard at work, while trying to get ya To get down lower and pretend to be ya momma.
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40
My work day woke to Monk, the click of typing keys, clock watched, Spotify playing, random thoughts rose like bees to freeze in these jagged lines, then swarm in threatening flight. Hours of data entry later, on a stool, in a bar, a clock's hands tock, I flick a wrist, and slur my words concluding   an anguished monologue, “They call it work, you know.” Awash at home, in the strobe of pixelated panel light, visions surge and dissipate with the pulse of the night. Osip, were you tempered to embrace attention’s fugitive caress? You etched memory’s texture with candle soot for ink, and the gulag’s blackened gaze - I type lines by hunt and peck humming Monk’s WELL YOU NEEDN’T, hoping for an adequate phrase. Copyright © 2004 Gary Brocks
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Aug 26, 2018
Aug 26, 2018 at 10:38 PM UTC
EMAIL TO OSIP MANDELSTAM, POET (1891-1938)