Hello Poetry
Submit your work and get some sparkles! Create free account
"emotionality" poems
In poetic manipulation In magic of our words Beneath the breath Above duress Let your heavy Hearts be heard In power of rhyme Upfront sublime Equal syllable Entwined In each consecutive Spellbinding high Or Emotionality low Crafted on The twist of tongue Either way Let poetry make us whole We all have the power Write it down lock And load! .........
0
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 9:28 AM UTC
POETRY MAGIC 2
Crazy reared its many heads Twisted shades of paisley swirls Kaleidoscope emotionality Rollercoaster of fear and love Through the storms of mushroom clouds An air of peace remained For that ever-changing scene Was founded in the purest love The realest dream come true No fear of insanity consuming truth Truth is kaleidoscopes are beautiful Never boring by design There is peace in the knowledge That crazy is exceptional, brilliant To know a soul, exciting And through it all We traverse the universe as one Riding the wings of insanity Skiing across the seas On the backs of narwhals Simply because they are awesome
0
May 24, 2015
May 24, 2015 at 4:55 AM UTC
Exposed
Even this latter lingering emotionality will vanish somehow, masked behind an affable reflection, but already collapsed into a black hole. 
Bigger and bigger. 
Mastery of nothingness in satisfying myself as mute, stripped leaves observing their art of turning into glow of warmth. 
Autumn’s heredity. 
Fierce hyperbole is Melancholy, remote and severe sixth sense, obsidian monolith in this too mild dimension. 
Melodrama of light is the vacuum of such empirism saturated ad nauseum by the ceaseless delay of the most natural and contemptuous ease.
0
Apr 19, 2016
Apr 19, 2016 at 3:30 PM UTC
Autumn's heredity
*Slit my wrists with a white quill Let emotionality bleed out, through the crack in the broken windowsill where the light shines through on the darkest sans Moon night.*
0
Sep 24, 2015
Sep 24, 2015 at 2:02 AM UTC
doleful daffodil words blue cannot encompass//Sans Sun.
~~            c            l            y                        a           c                          c                   l              i                                    storms in my teacup one every day something  to fuss over just for this instant, just to forget a chain-clanging ghost that lives in the haunted mansion in my chest                                                                                                       to dilute the hurt                                                                                                    so I can get drunk on it                                                                                                   sacrifice my consciousness                                                                                                  on the altar of emotionality                                      and then wake up suddenly one morning                                 to realize that this is silly                                        to weep over illusions                                                   that i’ve kept myself deluded there aren’t any storms anymore just me and you and happiness - Vijayalakshmi Harish    25.09.2012 Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
0
Sep 25, 2012
Sep 25, 2012 at 4:25 AM UTC
Haunted
~~            c            l            y                        a           c                          c                   l              i                                    storms in my teacup one every day something  to fuss over just for this instant, just to forget a chain-clanging ghost that lives in the haunted mansion in my chest                                                                                                       to dilute the hurt                                                                                                    so I can get drunk on it                                                                                                   sacrifice my consciousness                                                                                                  on the altar of emotionality                                      and then wake up suddenly one morning                                 to realize that this is silly                                        to weep over illusions                                                   that i’ve kept myself deluded there aren’t any storms anymore just me and you and happiness - Vijayalakshmi Harish    25.09.2012 Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
Continue reading...
27
I’ve been thinking And I don’t know. I’ve been thinking, And I just don’t know. There’s no point in pretending things will change. I think things might change, But we won’t. None of us will ever change. I won’t, she won’t, you won’t. We won’t. We are all awful. Me, her, you. We are selfish, hopeless, and clueless, Respectively. And we are all stubborn. And human. We wear that as our alibi But anyone would tell us that we are guilty. Life doesn’t fix itself. It doesn’t break itself either. People do that. I was tired. Emotional baggage Weighs more than you’d think. Heavy hearts aren’t fun to drag around, Especially when you know that other people are so Free And have room. I am sorry that I burdened you with my words. That is all I will apologize for. I’m sorry I brought it up And I’m sorry I let my fingers fly And make words and phrases That conjured up Emotions and thoughts. I am not truly sorry though. If I could go back, I would do it the same. Because I am selfish. That shouldn’t surprise you. I cannot deny that speaking now was better Than forever holding my peace. And now you are a bit less clueless. Win-win? I think so. You probably don’t. Not understanding Is no longer an option. You will think it is stupid And juvenile And that is okay. I am stupid And juvenile. And I think that is okay. I am telling you now in plain English what I want you so badly to understand: You and I are fundamentally different. It’s as simple and complicated as that. This is me. I obsess. I put everything I have Into everything that I do. I clamp onto things hard And I do not let go Until my fingers go numb And holding on Becomes a hazard to my sanity. And even then, Sometimes, I keep holding on. I am emotional. So emotional, almost to a fault. Actually, to a fault. My rationality and emotionality Are constantly Fighting For power Over my personality. You know that. I am a storm. A godawful storm. But I’m done apologizing for that. Because I like what I am better than what you are.
0
Nov 27, 2011
Nov 27, 2011 at 1:50 AM UTC
I am a storm.
I’ve been thinking And I don’t know. I’ve been thinking, And I just don’t know. There’s no point in pretending things will change. I think things might change, But we won’t. None of us will ever change. I won’t, she won’t, you won’t. We won’t. We are all awful. Me, her, you. We are selfish, hopeless, and clueless, Respectively. And we are all stubborn. And human. We wear that as our alibi But anyone would tell us that we are guilty. Life doesn’t fix itself. It doesn’t break itself either. People do that. I was tired. Emotional baggage Weighs more than you’d think. Heavy hearts aren’t fun to drag around, Especially when you know that other people are so Free And have room. I am sorry that I burdened you with my words. That is all I will apologize for. I’m sorry I brought it up And I’m sorry I let my fingers fly And make words and phrases That conjured up Emotions and thoughts. I am not truly sorry though. If I could go back, I would do it the same. Because I am selfish. That shouldn’t surprise you. I cannot deny that speaking now was better Than forever holding my peace. And now you are a bit less clueless. Win-win? I think so. You probably don’t. Not understanding Is no longer an option. You will think it is stupid And juvenile And that is okay. I am stupid And juvenile. And I think that is okay. I am telling you now in plain English what I want you so badly to understand: You and I are fundamentally different. It’s as simple and complicated as that. This is me. I obsess. I put everything I have Into everything that I do. I clamp onto things hard And I do not let go Until my fingers go numb And holding on Becomes a hazard to my sanity. And even then, Sometimes, I keep holding on. I am emotional. So emotional, almost to a fault. Actually, to a fault. My rationality and emotionality Are constantly Fighting For power Over my personality. You know that. I am a storm. A godawful storm. But I’m done apologizing for that. Because I like what I am better than what you are.
Continue reading...
79
When you left me My heart imploded and It felt like I died But I was still breathing And each breathe tasted like smoke From the fire you lit inside me I loved you and felt more In my emotions and my body Than I think I ever will again The hot mix of love and anger coursed through my veins While the cold sting of forgiveness and emptiness filled my lungs And it left me a freezing, burning mess of confusion and contentment You were awful to me most days I cried myself to sleep to your silence But if you were nice the next morning I rejoiced and felt happy again Now I am rotting inside Because what I feel for these women Is not what I felt for you I feel empty vibrations in the caverns of my chest I hear depressing gongs in my ears as they tell me they love me I feel nothing when I say it back This guilt is a vine that grows throughout my body It begins in my lungs and steals my breath away And it forces my limbs to act without emotion I am cursed with genes that promote impulsivity and high emotionality And by a past muddied with traumatic events that still hinder my existence And by my own choices that have led me to hurt so many innocent people In my quest to find myself I am so broken and I don't want pity I just want to understand why I ruin every good thing that enters my life Every day I have to maneuver between reality and what's in my head I cannot determine if what I feel is real or if it's just the result of years of repression All I know is that my rotting insides are overgrown with vines that keep me moving Even though I just want to die.
0
Aug 7, 2017
Aug 7, 2017 at 4:36 PM UTC
What's Love Anyways
When you left me My heart imploded and It felt like I died But I was still breathing And each breathe tasted like smoke From the fire you lit inside me I loved you and felt more In my emotions and my body Than I think I ever will again The hot mix of love and anger coursed through my veins While the cold sting of forgiveness and emptiness filled my lungs And it left me a freezing, burning mess of confusion and contentment You were awful to me most days I cried myself to sleep to your silence But if you were nice the next morning I rejoiced and felt happy again Now I am rotting inside Because what I feel for these women Is not what I felt for you I feel empty vibrations in the caverns of my chest I hear depressing gongs in my ears as they tell me they love me I feel nothing when I say it back This guilt is a vine that grows throughout my body It begins in my lungs and steals my breath away And it forces my limbs to act without emotion I am cursed with genes that promote impulsivity and high emotionality And by a past muddied with traumatic events that still hinder my existence And by my own choices that have led me to hurt so many innocent people In my quest to find myself I am so broken and I don't want pity I just want to understand why I ruin every good thing that enters my life Every day I have to maneuver between reality and what's in my head I cannot determine if what I feel is real or if it's just the result of years of repression All I know is that my rotting insides are overgrown with vines that keep me moving Even though I just want to die.
Continue reading...
35
***** Miss Whint took a flight on a Saturday night ***** Miss Whint showed the world her insides If science can’t show her a number She’ll take despair to a mystical side And the world will be her child If you can find a path to the sea I’ll call you a human being If that’s worth believing Faces articulate so cantankerously And lose any intention for their mind While we grow, yet still coagulate Perhaps we’ll see, her cruelty’s bound to time And we’ll be fine In her broken home is where she dominates And hates her own cherry tree Who screamed immensely ***** Miss Whint, she took a flight ***** Miss Whint was despair at first sight She lost emotionality When she confided in reality ***** Miss Whint has the look of a saccharin knife ***** Miss Whint made it hard to live a life When we’re all strangers to the sun The working man’s light is the muzzle flash of a gun But we’re just having fun She sweeps the open road with love And a diamond compartment Twisting the road-bent Indignant children are the fodder of her highway That leads to a city in the wane While she eats the air and lives another day Deep lines accentuate her mighty wake And that’s okay The fools are left to smiles and opulence She makes them find sense in their own pretence Preaching, “there’s no end” ***** Miss Whint, she took a flight ***** Miss Whint was despair at first sight You lost emotionality When you confided in reality If her mouth was wider when she began Maybe we could have had some fun But how could she care for what happened minutes ago? There is an open vent to useless things to sow If her eyes were brighter when we lost our lives Maybe we could be satisfied But typewriters stay their hand to the climate’s cold command And we’re left to indulge in what still stands So, as I wrote this like a letter To a lady of vicious weather Someone then caught me and said, “Swallow those words or I’ll have your head” So I said, “This note has no point, so go count your coins” ***** Miss Whint has the look of the fourth of July ***** Miss Whint took a ruler to the human life When we’re all frightened by the sun The working man’s light is the masquerade of a gun But we’d all rather run
0
Jun 28, 2019
Jun 28, 2019 at 1:07 PM UTC
***** Miss Whint
***** Miss Whint took a flight on a Saturday night ***** Miss Whint showed the world her insides If science can’t show her a number She’ll take despair to a mystical side And the world will be her child If you can find a path to the sea I’ll call you a human being If that’s worth believing Faces articulate so cantankerously And lose any intention for their mind While we grow, yet still coagulate Perhaps we’ll see, her cruelty’s bound to time And we’ll be fine In her broken home is where she dominates And hates her own cherry tree Who screamed immensely ***** Miss Whint, she took a flight ***** Miss Whint was despair at first sight She lost emotionality When she confided in reality ***** Miss Whint has the look of a saccharin knife ***** Miss Whint made it hard to live a life When we’re all strangers to the sun The working man’s light is the muzzle flash of a gun But we’re just having fun She sweeps the open road with love And a diamond compartment Twisting the road-bent Indignant children are the fodder of her highway That leads to a city in the wane While she eats the air and lives another day Deep lines accentuate her mighty wake And that’s okay The fools are left to smiles and opulence She makes them find sense in their own pretence Preaching, “there’s no end” ***** Miss Whint, she took a flight ***** Miss Whint was despair at first sight You lost emotionality When you confided in reality If her mouth was wider when she began Maybe we could have had some fun But how could she care for what happened minutes ago? There is an open vent to useless things to sow If her eyes were brighter when we lost our lives Maybe we could be satisfied But typewriters stay their hand to the climate’s cold command And we’re left to indulge in what still stands So, as I wrote this like a letter To a lady of vicious weather Someone then caught me and said, “Swallow those words or I’ll have your head” So I said, “This note has no point, so go count your coins” ***** Miss Whint has the look of the fourth of July ***** Miss Whint took a ruler to the human life When we’re all frightened by the sun The working man’s light is the masquerade of a gun But we’d all rather run
Continue reading...
59
*** silences my emotionality For thirty minutes, Sanity We don't have to like each other For thirty minutes, There is no love to discover Animosity For thirty minutes, Nobody is asking for honesty One day I will figure it out But for these thirty minutes, You're all I'm about.
0
Jun 24, 2015
Jun 24, 2015 at 7:19 PM UTC
Bed Rock
because I have this view... 7 days ago I stopped in and was greeted by a grin 7 days later I was sad because I had been gone so long tonight I'm wanting to just sing you a song ***Words became my solace and your name became a face I wept with an emptiness that real life could not replace*** at some point in the universe I came back to a time in space that ever rocked my emotionality and gave me a listening place I can't touch you with my fingertips but I can hear you with broken ears I'll cry your every emotion and shiver with your every fear I'm never going to miss you because you resonate in a heartbeat I'm never going to miss you even though we may never meet I'm never going to miss you no matter what we all heard in this time of empty space I listened to every word I'm never going to miss you because you'll never be gone you are my song I don't feel so alone anymore because you are never gone for long
0
May 20, 2013
May 20, 2013 at 6:28 AM UTC
i'm never going to miss you
The ink of my pen pressed firmly into the parchment, staining it with an idea, with a thought that was of my own mind. The parchment was rough, withered at the ends from the lack of neglect that I had spared it upon it during the years it retained its fine age in my attic, collecting the very dust that bargained with time. The pen, the parchment were the tools I had at my disposal, they were the tools I relied on during a daily basis. Such basic items to another person would seem insignificant, but were they? Not to me, but that was the price of it all. The price of being mistaken as something I wasn't. There was a price of humility that came with a passion, that came with the dying art form of prose, poetry, and fiction. Those art forms that express that of our deepest desires, concerns, and problems. Written words can express parallels in the way that speech may not be sufficient in doing. That's where my humility, my passion, and my work originate from. They stake a claim on the spontaneity of words, of sentences, and the nuances of the language that can convey just what I forge them to. Oh, how these kind acts of pleasure, and these kind acts of movement bring me both joy and sorrow. The pen on the parchment brings me into the realm of both reality and fiction, giving me the ability to speak as freely as I want to. Chained down to such a society, such a group of people around me who entice me to strive in such a way that contributes to the thoughts of the inner dwellings of my mind, lapping them up and laying them out on the old, dusty, and fine aged parchment. These thoughts are private, and yet, they are very public. They are for those who wish to listen. They are for those who wish to ignore. They are both a pleasure and a pain. They are from me, and they are given to you. They are humility, and they are pride. They are local, and they are foreign; they are to be used with the utmost intention of fluid emotionality and cordial necessity.
0
Feb 4, 2018
Feb 4, 2018 at 11:03 PM UTC
; Parcнмenт
The ink of my pen pressed firmly into the parchment, staining it with an idea, with a thought that was of my own mind. The parchment was rough, withered at the ends from the lack of neglect that I had spared it upon it during the years it retained its fine age in my attic, collecting the very dust that bargained with time. The pen, the parchment were the tools I had at my disposal, they were the tools I relied on during a daily basis. Such basic items to another person would seem insignificant, but were they? Not to me, but that was the price of it all. The price of being mistaken as something I wasn't. There was a price of humility that came with a passion, that came with the dying art form of prose, poetry, and fiction. Those art forms that express that of our deepest desires, concerns, and problems. Written words can express parallels in the way that speech may not be sufficient in doing. That's where my humility, my passion, and my work originate from. They stake a claim on the spontaneity of words, of sentences, and the nuances of the language that can convey just what I forge them to. Oh, how these kind acts of pleasure, and these kind acts of movement bring me both joy and sorrow. The pen on the parchment brings me into the realm of both reality and fiction, giving me the ability to speak as freely as I want to. Chained down to such a society, such a group of people around me who entice me to strive in such a way that contributes to the thoughts of the inner dwellings of my mind, lapping them up and laying them out on the old, dusty, and fine aged parchment. These thoughts are private, and yet, they are very public. They are for those who wish to listen. They are for those who wish to ignore. They are both a pleasure and a pain. They are from me, and they are given to you. They are humility, and they are pride. They are local, and they are foreign; they are to be used with the utmost intention of fluid emotionality and cordial necessity.
Continue reading...
73
Finally; They finally learned how to love me; I can now feel them care and worry; And see them giving me attention—how merry! Some gave me thanks, while some kept saying sorry; Why do you aplogize, dear crony? You never did anything faulty Can't you see? I'm finally happy. For I can now feel their love for me As I lie in this coffin, lifeless, and devoid of any vitality; One by one, they walked in just to see my body Now I feel like a famous celebrity. The corners of my lips curled up; smiling bitterly Wanting to shout and scream so loudly Why didn't you tell me those words that might have made me happy When I was still living in this world full of negativity? But I do know the answer, honestly; For regret is stronger than any emotionality Oh, look how much they regret their insensibility As they lost me, yet learned to love me—finally.
0
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 21, 2018 at 12:22 PM UTC
They finally love me
i grew up in an evangelical home in the burbs. i now like to think of this brand of belief in christian doctrine as the sorta "star but humble upstart" ---- a shy new jesus on the block. not very showy with ritual. not too brimstone-y with rules. but nevertheless it is terribly aggressive and convincing in its apparent passivity, summoning up a tactical confusion in the believer that petrified the will before it had a chance to bloom and raked in the imagination before it could body forth an inner-whorl. the evangelical brand leads with a hidden, veiled threat of eternal damnation best served cold with kind eyes. these eyes, they grow mouths inside them to speak to you the truth as they see it. it assumes your consent already. it rips initiative from the realm of possibility. it rents you a god, a "real living god" amid a scarcity of eternal life. you are sold. you must be. it trains a deep, serene dispassion that enslaves any shred of emotionality. it grips ****** life-affirmation with thousands and thousands of self-induced mental strokes against the backside, moving into position various leather tentacles tipped with acute tapered bones that seek out, lick, dig and pull up a guilt that beats subcutaneous, stuck to the very core center of the hard white tissue holding up humanity itself. you are fallen now because of before, or so it goes. it is the worst kind of violence. it steals who you are and gives you back a cheap copy that tells or suggests you hate, with a vengeful love of course, these original pieces of you that keep cropping up, keep emerging through nice smooth paved suburban sidewalks, still wanting, still desiring -- new words worming through old written ones. it starts with a lack, and it wants to color you in. "you are not good enough" it sez. "you need something" it warmly alleges. "don't resist, let him in" it condescends with a grin reaching for the ear. it is a vamp asking for permission to eat your heart out with fork and knife, only to replace it with himself - all as you watch the procedure. it loves you to death. tell it **** off, kindly. then shut the door.
0
Dec 30, 2015
Dec 30, 2015 at 4:27 PM UTC
it is no longer theirs to have
i grew up in an evangelical home in the burbs. i now like to think of this brand of belief in christian doctrine as the sorta "star but humble upstart" ---- a shy new jesus on the block. not very showy with ritual. not too brimstone-y with rules. but nevertheless it is terribly aggressive and convincing in its apparent passivity, summoning up a tactical confusion in the believer that petrified the will before it had a chance to bloom and raked in the imagination before it could body forth an inner-whorl. the evangelical brand leads with a hidden, veiled threat of eternal damnation best served cold with kind eyes. these eyes, they grow mouths inside them to speak to you the truth as they see it. it assumes your consent already. it rips initiative from the realm of possibility. it rents you a god, a "real living god" amid a scarcity of eternal life. you are sold. you must be. it trains a deep, serene dispassion that enslaves any shred of emotionality. it grips ****** life-affirmation with thousands and thousands of self-induced mental strokes against the backside, moving into position various leather tentacles tipped with acute tapered bones that seek out, lick, dig and pull up a guilt that beats subcutaneous, stuck to the very core center of the hard white tissue holding up humanity itself. you are fallen now because of before, or so it goes. it is the worst kind of violence. it steals who you are and gives you back a cheap copy that tells or suggests you hate, with a vengeful love of course, these original pieces of you that keep cropping up, keep emerging through nice smooth paved suburban sidewalks, still wanting, still desiring -- new words worming through old written ones. it starts with a lack, and it wants to color you in. "you are not good enough" it sez. "you need something" it warmly alleges. "don't resist, let him in" it condescends with a grin reaching for the ear. it is a vamp asking for permission to eat your heart out with fork and knife, only to replace it with himself - all as you watch the procedure. it loves you to death. tell it **** off, kindly. then shut the door.
Continue reading...
4
I used to be a fragment alone in distraught, Put there by those who bare my trust, it was a battle not easily fought. Rage and hate took over me, fluctuating with the melancholy, This is when I changed, They noticed it in my eyes. They noticed the change, i was simply different, eyelids were red due to the release of Everything within, when present i couldnt help but to scream and cry. I couldnt controll it and it all began to release, im sorry i wasnt strong Enough, Yet... Im only a human being. I succumbed to emotionality, this is my fatal reality World Peace was no longer my ultimatums wish, Empty like dark space. My inner self ceased to exist. As they looked deep into my eyes there was nothing, because they realeased it All and there was Nothing to be left, I was empty, gone, just emotionless...
0
Apr 13, 2014
Apr 13, 2014 at 7:53 PM UTC
Succumbed
October Where everything seems evil Well now it's begun My horror of life In which I habe felt Most pain Emotionality
0
Oct 5, 2016
Oct 5, 2016 at 4:49 PM UTC
October
Is much different from every other it’s much colder. The atmosphere generally stirs up emotionality in every one It makes you ,yes you want to be with the opposite *** Generally taken as a day to exchange gifts But Nigerians have made it seem like a day when love is made Which is kind of negative looking at it generally. But Nigeria is not generally like that with every thing done here. So I say what can be done to change this. But I am not against love, love and more love I generally do enjoy the feeling but excess of all is bad. It leads to broken relationships homes and finally heart break Which you would notice (heartbreak) on the 15 of February every year. So what more can I say I an a boss and a boss I will be But if we were to go by and by then our daughters Will continue to be heart broken every 15 of February. This trend must be stopped by choosing to love And love truly with all thy heart, body and soul This I believe will change everything But I am not saying that if thou holdest you back From progressing you shalt stay that is why you are the boss You can either choose to continue or leave But it must come from the heart And must be a conscious step towards self realization This is just the way it has been should not be your words But understand that changes are there for a reason So go share thy love.
0
Oct 16, 2017
Oct 16, 2017 at 3:59 AM UTC
valentines day
Hearts, such fragile things We use them to love those we idolize Those we cherish so dear Yet to what avail We spend but a few years together Only to mourn what once was The time so west The moments seemingly everlasting Eternal Hearts are such fragile things Tender and caring Capable of the deepest vats of human emotionality Strong in the face of darkness Yet so easily broken Destroyed Scared
0
Jul 8, 2015
Jul 8, 2015 at 2:58 PM UTC
The source of love
Misery likes to keep commiserate company. Mixing the bowl of emotional soup, causing overflow of stress and anxiety. Sympathy keeps misery company, having tea every morning. At brunch they talk about the news, all of the shadowy darkness that looms over our heads. Aching hearts, tugging at the strings of emotionality, we’ve waltzed with our memories many times before. Misery likes to keep busy, commiserate likes to remind us we’re not alone. © 2019 By Amanda Shelton
0
Feb 9, 2019
Feb 9, 2019 at 4:45 PM UTC
Misery Keeps Commiserate Company
I promise, I’m a good girl; I stay away from narcotics, alcohol, sin. Traditional stuff you’d find at parties: bustling, joyous laughter, celebrating their momentary acceptance. Girls my age are supposed to lose her individuality in the heat of the moment, find herself as the collective energy of the crowd, dance, fight, scream. They fight off the night’s darkness, silence, coldness, for the party’s brightness, sound, warmth. I remain alone, allowing the night’s emptiness to swallow me whole. Surrounded by darkness, I notice its layers— the infinite depths of reality threatening to tear us all apart. Just as anyone else, I’m not as good as I should be. Despite the comfort I have in barely keeping myself afloat, I want to feel something too. I drink energy drinks at night. Not so bad, right? I thought the same against my mother’s warning: "Never drink those!" Despite being able to recall coloring within the lines of a coloring book at a hospital: seeing my dad be pushed in a wheelchair out of the operation room. His spirit was stolen, and his heart would tick forever as a reminder. Compared to the other girls, I lose my individuality in the loneliness of the night, find myself in the emotionality night wraps me in: watch, listen, wait. My heart struggles to keep up as I drink more, more, more. I smile, and finally my thoughts run as quickly as my peers— beat, beat, beat. I’m tired of being a girl, of failing to live up to inhuman expectations, or fitting in with those sweaty bodies. I wish the glory of femininity didn’t end with girlhood. Instead of playing with human sensuality, I play with human mortality in what I’d like to call a college student’s version of Russian roulette.
0
Nov 20, 2020
Nov 20, 2020 at 1:51 AM UTC
caffeine is a drug too.
I promise, I’m a good girl; I stay away from narcotics, alcohol, sin. Traditional stuff you’d find at parties: bustling, joyous laughter, celebrating their momentary acceptance. Girls my age are supposed to lose her individuality in the heat of the moment, find herself as the collective energy of the crowd, dance, fight, scream. They fight off the night’s darkness, silence, coldness, for the party’s brightness, sound, warmth. I remain alone, allowing the night’s emptiness to swallow me whole. Surrounded by darkness, I notice its layers— the infinite depths of reality threatening to tear us all apart. Just as anyone else, I’m not as good as I should be. Despite the comfort I have in barely keeping myself afloat, I want to feel something too. I drink energy drinks at night. Not so bad, right? I thought the same against my mother’s warning: "Never drink those!" Despite being able to recall coloring within the lines of a coloring book at a hospital: seeing my dad be pushed in a wheelchair out of the operation room. His spirit was stolen, and his heart would tick forever as a reminder. Compared to the other girls, I lose my individuality in the loneliness of the night, find myself in the emotionality night wraps me in: watch, listen, wait. My heart struggles to keep up as I drink more, more, more. I smile, and finally my thoughts run as quickly as my peers— beat, beat, beat. I’m tired of being a girl, of failing to live up to inhuman expectations, or fitting in with those sweaty bodies. I wish the glory of femininity didn’t end with girlhood. Instead of playing with human sensuality, I play with human mortality in what I’d like to call a college student’s version of Russian roulette.
Continue reading...
60