"eitherway" poems
His skin was once ivory; elegance in its most basic form
He now screams of deathly paleness.
His fingers were once long, talented; connected to me
They now scrape at a chalkboard; scrawny, poking, prying.
His voice was once profound and alluring; a British orient
It’s now faded into annoyance, degraded into pain, the loathing of every octave of arrogant, pompous sound.
The time changed & the mind changed
But I’m left mindfucked; wondering what this means
My feelings, an optical illusion?
His reality, a state of indifference?
Eitherway:
I reckon I’m glad, to be rid,
Of this horrible, horrible evil little parasite,
Hopefully, he’ll be kept at arm’s length
For I don’t think I can bear
A creature so afraid, so undead.
**Dear Parasite,
This is the last you’ll hear of me.
Go bloat and float arrogance somewhere else,
We have no need for it here.**
Feb 16, 2013
Feb 16, 2013 at 11:07 AM UTC
Amongst the crowd, I blaze it across and up
Down the middle, a mechanically knit hug
With its broken handle
And popping arm crossstiches
To fasten the shame
To hide the tears inside me
That have not evaporated
In my jacket, I am me
3XL and slowly dying
Of a death that no one knows
Or a change that could end the world's colds
No one knows because no one knows care
Eitherway, the fantasy *****
So for reality, I conform
And learn to hide
My curves that have been
Rolled against the mud I never wanted
Shot into the toilet that the water dwelled in stench
Bruised in the way of another but never for a child. Brutal for a teenager
Because love was tailor made
For someone else
Time was made to order
For the busy and no time for me
Because friends beat you up
For being a giant that doesnt fight back
Locked secrets
A past and a pension
Within my body
That I am willing
I am so wishing
To be a shadow
In my black jacket
A face not from the many
But being trampled on the floor
Yet phasing through
Like the timeless, like a ghost
Seldom gone but never present
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 9:46 AM UTC
You cannot die on me,
Let us dive right into your fears.
You cannot die on me,
I cannot save who does not cry for help.
You cannot die on me,
I have not even touched you yet.
You cannot die on me,
It is the good part you will miss.
You cannot die on me,
My fins and tail cannot be with no owner.
You cannot die on me,
This is my sea, I will let us both breathe.
You cannot die on me,
I have turned into your life vest.
You cannot die on me,
I will follow you eitherway.
You cannot die on me,
I will not give up this daydream.
You cannot die on me,
I have stayed alive for you.
Sep 26, 2013
Sep 26, 2013 at 10:29 PM UTC
i am today, found
caught midstep
in betwixt & between
delusion and reality,
the only question
of relevance
is do i step
forward
or back
?
Aug 17, 2014
Aug 17, 2014 at 7:33 PM UTC
An I without me?
Well it could possibly
Be this minus a personality
For if not here yet I be
Maybe then I shall see
What it is to be an I without me
"But I am here!" I do say
"I can hear me when I say"
"There is no I without me"
Well honestly
It is kind of tricky
Now you are the me
and the listener,
Well, that makes 3!
"An I without me!?
Surely that cannot be!
Unless you and me is a we!"
That does not matter
For eitherway
As all of you me's fade away
What is left is not to see
But rarther all that can be
As the one between
You and Me.
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018 at 1:37 AM UTC
Am I a fool for believing in love
or am I just Me trying to strive
Eitherway a beast awakened
Eitherway I felt the pain
Oh I've been asking, Dear Lord
If love is cheap then why can't I afford?
Feb 23, 2016
Feb 23, 2016 at 11:56 AM UTC
Obliterated!; all that remains is a blank slate.
Unfeeling, uncaring but somehow still living in a fearful state
The pit in my stomach falls deeper with every breath.
Each breath harder to take as each memory is wiped away.
Delete every dream and want, they're a waste.
Destroy every hope and make sure you know your "destined" fate.
Delete every touch and kiss with haste.
You don't want to but it'll be done eitherway.
It used to be subconscious, now it's taken on a life of its own, sentient.
No longer dependent; it takes everything away.
My mind is no longer my own; my control and life slowly washed away.
Jun 18, 2017
Jun 18, 2017 at 1:42 PM UTC
i am at with thy sleeping bag
As i stand here in this dark night of rain
nowhere but these hard cold walls
just for me to lay the icy drops run down
my dirt covered face
other stay where they are placed
im hungry but i dont want to ask people
for change i would rather not been looked down on
with such unprovoked hate and rage
either way people will still judge me
when i would
rather feed on the
sandwich discarded from since i don't know when
As i reach within this black and gold plated bin
Whilst i was it down with my 9%
they see a needle and without a thought twice relate it to me just
Because my clothes are ripped and i have no money or a place to live and yet i still try to make lemonade with what i was given but you still you see what I've built and demolish and break it just because i didn't
quite make it in
to you're sliver spooned toffee nosed society sorry i was quick to judge and assume
and that eitherway
was not right of me i do apologise ever so politely
you may have had if not the same but worse of a start off in life than me
either way one thing we do have that we share is we both have the ability
to laugh kid,care,love and joke and the will to share so...
if you have a penny a pound or a sandwich
spare or and hour to talk and problems to share then grab you sit your self down next to where ill be where i always am with my dogs and belongings in that door way there.
Written by
daryllsmith
Jun 11, 2017
Jun 11, 2017 at 3:19 AM UTC
hey, everything will be alright.
don’t need to smoke secretly anymore
no need to cry in the bathtub,
and try to drown yourself everytime.
you will be happier, believe me.
noone will look at you differently,
they accept you now,
no need to cry after school anymore.
little one, no need to cut your hair off
believing that it will bring you luck.
you don’t need those sleeping meds
soon enough your insomnia will flee.
no more vomiting after every meal,
you will accept your body eitherway,
and you will love it more each day.
be strong, past me.
your depression won’t go away, im sorry.
there are no more summer rains
that you could dance in.
i still like sky ferreira, i swear.
you will bring peace to yourself,
with your big heart and tough soul.
no need to bleed for every little mistakes.
i promise you, right now, i am better.
little one, look at me.
you only have future you as a role model.
for you, i changed
please, no more sadness, no more blood
i swear, it gets better.
Mar 6, 2020
Mar 6, 2020 at 4:05 PM UTC