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"doses" poems
3153 miles away I lay with a mind that's clouded with thoughts. Past Scenarios playing out differently. Over analyzing the present. Anticipating the emotion that I will feel in the future. If ever I was consumed it has never been like this. Regret comes and fades. optimism shares that same cycle. Happiness And sadness come in doses like sedatives. The voice of jealousy tells me that hope makes me weak. Anger fuels my fire and logic keeps it burning. Yet voices, Medication, and the embers fade. The constant variables are only wondering and anxiety. Peace comes in sleep and yet its hardly enjoyed.
0
Nov 15, 2012
Nov 15, 2012 at 2:51 PM UTC
Florida
.    *Curious minds,       splashing under        moonlight        With       outstretched kisses      pulsating yellow,      Over the awestruck       magical        rainbow,          Feverishly tracking each          supernova       on sight.*    ***Resting the moment     on a      cresting knoll,     With    an audience of several    time-worn      rocks.       Whilst the         whistling sirens         in the winds do call...           Wasting away         the ticks of      worldly       clocks.***         *Evading with class,        all        heart's turbulence,         Craters of sadness           congeal            in thin air,              Glamorous amnesia              falls           with cadence,          Eyes wide shut,          susurrating           a            lost prayer.*              ***Lifeless gazes                yield                only              abrasive tears.              As erratum               catches up                 with its                  gaping maw.               Hurling             its anguish              in              rips and shears,               Bleeding out                 of                singing wounds              so raw.              But...               time carries confident,                 its stock of                    soothing balm.                    Latent doses                  hidden                 within                  invisible vials.                   Welcoming vision                     with its                     sunlit palms,                    Staving the longing                     for the                     fear of trials.***                       *Now hushed                          remain the remorseful                         battle trenches,                         Deprived of their own                           victims                             save gaping wounds,                             Only                              faint faith                                 commanding                                    corroded limp                                    forces,                                  Stirring                                 light away                                from                                 all                                  agony                                     and                                    doom.*                               Moonskittles                             ryn
0
Jan 23, 2015
Jan 23, 2015 at 6:40 AM UTC
Temporal Healing (Collaboration with the Sensational Moonskittles)
.    *Curious minds,       splashing under        moonlight        With       outstretched kisses      pulsating yellow,      Over the awestruck       magical        rainbow,          Feverishly tracking each          supernova       on sight.*    ***Resting the moment     on a      cresting knoll,     With    an audience of several    time-worn      rocks.       Whilst the         whistling sirens         in the winds do call...           Wasting away         the ticks of      worldly       clocks.***         *Evading with class,        all        heart's turbulence,         Craters of sadness           congeal            in thin air,              Glamorous amnesia              falls           with cadence,          Eyes wide shut,          susurrating           a            lost prayer.*              ***Lifeless gazes                yield                only              abrasive tears.              As erratum               catches up                 with its                  gaping maw.               Hurling             its anguish              in              rips and shears,               Bleeding out                 of                singing wounds              so raw.              But...               time carries confident,                 its stock of                    soothing balm.                    Latent doses                  hidden                 within                  invisible vials.                   Welcoming vision                     with its                     sunlit palms,                    Staving the longing                     for the                     fear of trials.***                       *Now hushed                          remain the remorseful                         battle trenches,                         Deprived of their own                           victims                             save gaping wounds,                             Only                              faint faith                                 commanding                                    corroded limp                                    forces,                                  Stirring                                 light away                                from                                 all                                  agony                                     and                                    doom.*                               Moonskittles                             ryn
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90
When I'd wake alone in bed at 4am Again To find you passed out on the couch Too wasted to notice the heart breaking in front of you I tried every day But you preferred synthetic hugs and to hide in a place where the expectations were low   Escapes and excuses more alluring than I could ever be Through tears I would plead 'Why don't you want to sleep with me!?' I shouldn't have taken it so personally But nobody saw me cry Especially not you Blind to my own tears Large doses of denial dished out A feast for the masses Perhaps the most powerful drug of them all My soul mate disappeared each day a little more Maybe today will be different Hope The beautiful motivator Maybe today It will be me that you choose Naively believing that you had control But then I woke alone in bed at 4am Again Manipulated and used
0
Mar 26, 2017
Mar 26, 2017 at 11:04 AM UTC
Wasted
Perfection Is constant. It’s everywhere And in everything. But our perception of it is not. For us, Perfection is fleeting. It comes in small doses Like a shot of tequila. It shocks on impact Then warms from within. Perfection lingers For as long as the good feeling stays. The problem? We know that shortly The liquor will wear off And the world will again be ***** Smelly Ugly Imperfect. But you… You stay. You stay past the buzz Past the next-morning feeling Past the hangover Past the fog. You’re still here. You’re still perfect. Because what people don’t get is that since nothing is perfect, Everything Is perfect. Perfection isn’t a shot of tequila But a long Tall Drink Of water. Perfection is a breath of fresh air, Or maybe even stagnant, Because perfection Is everywhere. Perfection is that tree over here That lake over there The crazy blue streak In that girl’s light brown hair. Perfection Is constant. It’s the waves crashing The river flowing The clock ticking away every moment we spend together, Glowing. Perfection Is your mother telling you it’s time to come home. My father telling me to hang up the phone. Your best friend taking a year long vacation My history suddenly obtaining clarification. Perfection is learning From stupid mistakes. Perfection is holding hands Through all the heartaches. Perfection is black rivers flowing down your gorgeous perfect face And perfection is knowing there’s nothing we can’t shake. Because perfection is there In every code-name fight And perfection is there Through every sleepless night. Perfection is present On the drives along winding lanes And perfection is present When we hide from cars in vain. Perfection is you And perfection is me Because through all our flaws We’re as perfect as perfect can be. Yet the world still doesn’t understand that Nothing is perfection So perfection Is everything.
0
May 4, 2016
May 4, 2016 at 10:22 PM UTC
Perception
Perfection Is constant. It’s everywhere And in everything. But our perception of it is not. For us, Perfection is fleeting. It comes in small doses Like a shot of tequila. It shocks on impact Then warms from within. Perfection lingers For as long as the good feeling stays. The problem? We know that shortly The liquor will wear off And the world will again be ***** Smelly Ugly Imperfect. But you… You stay. You stay past the buzz Past the next-morning feeling Past the hangover Past the fog. You’re still here. You’re still perfect. Because what people don’t get is that since nothing is perfect, Everything Is perfect. Perfection isn’t a shot of tequila But a long Tall Drink Of water. Perfection is a breath of fresh air, Or maybe even stagnant, Because perfection Is everywhere. Perfection is that tree over here That lake over there The crazy blue streak In that girl’s light brown hair. Perfection Is constant. It’s the waves crashing The river flowing The clock ticking away every moment we spend together, Glowing. Perfection Is your mother telling you it’s time to come home. My father telling me to hang up the phone. Your best friend taking a year long vacation My history suddenly obtaining clarification. Perfection is learning From stupid mistakes. Perfection is holding hands Through all the heartaches. Perfection is black rivers flowing down your gorgeous perfect face And perfection is knowing there’s nothing we can’t shake. Because perfection is there In every code-name fight And perfection is there Through every sleepless night. Perfection is present On the drives along winding lanes And perfection is present When we hide from cars in vain. Perfection is you And perfection is me Because through all our flaws We’re as perfect as perfect can be. Yet the world still doesn’t understand that Nothing is perfection So perfection Is everything.
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77
The whole world has PTSD, brought about by watching far too much TV. Normal people becoming neurotic or psychotic by all the "Breaking  News". Talking heads spewing fearful endless chapters of dread, all with their own ax to grind into our heads, day after day after day until we want to scream. Real news or fake, impossible to know the difference. A political landscape strewn with landmines of division and hate. Melting Ice, and adverse weather, hurricanes and tornadoes devastate and forest fires burn, as racists and terrorists abound at every turn, and crazy's with military weapons killing us for sport, just to make the nightly news, as our nation's infrastructures crumble into ruins, all "Breaking News day and night", while we and the world choke and quiver from an excessive Carb diet of information overload, trying to sleep bathed in bad dreams, laced with too many strong doses of PTSD.
0
Aug 31, 2019
Aug 31, 2019 at 12:14 PM UTC
The World has PTSD
I am not a poet Because I don't have the Vast vocabulary of most And I can't tell you the Difference Between haikus and acrostics   And I don't know How many stanzas make up A "good write" I am not a poet Because I'm a psychopath And I sip my coffee From the wrong side of the mug And I open my banana Upside-down And I tangle my heart Into knots on purpose Despite it's resilience I am not a poet No, I'd like to think That I'm the poem But I'm not that either I'm more of a chaperon For life's chaos I watch over the panic attacks And I coddle the over doses No, no, I am not a poet How can I be? When I've been tipping And tapping My shoes in the hall Just waiting for doomsday I've just been hoping Praying For this to be simple For the sky to come crashing down Because then I can say That the bills The rent The schooling The mainstream ******** Was all meaningless I am not a poet Because I can't make a good Rhyme And I'm not as clever As I used to be I am not a poet Because I often succumb to the ********** of others' words Because I know that They said it better Than I ever could And I am not a poet Because I'd rather quote Those before me Than find strength in my own Broken syllables I am not a poet But I am the raw And deep Bleeding sore on the side Of your mouth That you can't help but chew at That you could never possibly Ignore I'm not a poet Because these words Really belong To the wind And my pulse rests In the Earth's crust And my emotions Connect in the sky And my fingertips Are made from stardust No, I am not a poet *Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today. —Lawrence M. Krauss*
0
Oct 24, 2010
Oct 24, 2010 at 7:28 PM UTC
I Am Not a Poet
I am not a poet Because I don't have the Vast vocabulary of most And I can't tell you the Difference Between haikus and acrostics   And I don't know How many stanzas make up A "good write" I am not a poet Because I'm a psychopath And I sip my coffee From the wrong side of the mug And I open my banana Upside-down And I tangle my heart Into knots on purpose Despite it's resilience I am not a poet No, I'd like to think That I'm the poem But I'm not that either I'm more of a chaperon For life's chaos I watch over the panic attacks And I coddle the over doses No, no, I am not a poet How can I be? When I've been tipping And tapping My shoes in the hall Just waiting for doomsday I've just been hoping Praying For this to be simple For the sky to come crashing down Because then I can say That the bills The rent The schooling The mainstream ******** Was all meaningless I am not a poet Because I can't make a good Rhyme And I'm not as clever As I used to be I am not a poet Because I often succumb to the ********** of others' words Because I know that They said it better Than I ever could And I am not a poet Because I'd rather quote Those before me Than find strength in my own Broken syllables I am not a poet But I am the raw And deep Bleeding sore on the side Of your mouth That you can't help but chew at That you could never possibly Ignore I'm not a poet Because these words Really belong To the wind And my pulse rests In the Earth's crust And my emotions Connect in the sky And my fingertips Are made from stardust No, I am not a poet *Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today. —Lawrence M. Krauss*
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81
Filaments fixed on your eyes all night and the possibility of a chance, of an opportunity, that I’ll be able to talk to you, because the club lights are blue stretched like animal hide across your own hide: complexion clear cheeks still rouged though tidal club glow is still blue. It’s pathetic, worse than any diabetic with their HumaPen Memoir insulin length of pen, recording the time and date and precise amount of pain they inject from the last 16 doses. My pen is my keyboard and records miserable times and forgotten dates in cafes and precise amounts of pain, though this diabetic is a pathetic poet and he knows it.
0
Aug 19, 2013
Aug 19, 2013 at 2:49 PM UTC
HumaPen Memoir: No Diabetic Can Live Without One
I like slandering your makeshift forceps. I hammer you down with watery *** and then spill the remainder on the couch. Yarg! A diamond’s worth at least a small intestine, and you are worth whatever’s left over after night has upended itself, poured sideways out of its shellacked crawlspace, and turned the basement sour. There are remnants of you in the park, some red stain by the baseball field where, if you’ll remember, you watched little leaguers build teamwork, and faint splotches on tree bark from your lactations which, if you’ll remember, happened every morning. I whisper your godforsaken name and am slapped in the head. The children cry when I smile. I cry when the children smile. Good heavens. I forbid you from not entering my corridor, even as I set up a barricade. I like my water scalding, my passion chilled, and I like you in easy-to- swallow doses. I like you in my eggs. Ditto the faucet, keyboard, the occasional lily, but do not mess with my pearls. I mumble of apodictic meadows while I sleep. What can I say? I do not mumble of unclogging your bathtub, which has a certain foul repute, and has grown heavy and ugly with your hair, which is everywhere, just as you are everywhere, and wherever, and so ********* hidden it’s not funny anymore, we stopped looking some millennia ago, after scouring the drainpipes, kicking down your doors, dissecting your mattress, speculating about your burial site, etcetera, and even so we have not been really looking all this time, have we, just blaring your name through the speakers, putting wrong numbers on our calling cards, leaving uncooked meat out on the back porch as if you were a raccoon, oh, or a lion, which you are not, or not quite, though, as the books say, you have honey in your stomach, and if you could but be ripped open we would taste and see.
0
May 25, 2010
May 25, 2010 at 8:21 PM UTC
Sleep-deprived Birdcall (in the year in which the weather cancelled the subcommittee on the weather)
I like slandering your makeshift forceps. I hammer you down with watery *** and then spill the remainder on the couch. Yarg! A diamond’s worth at least a small intestine, and you are worth whatever’s left over after night has upended itself, poured sideways out of its shellacked crawlspace, and turned the basement sour. There are remnants of you in the park, some red stain by the baseball field where, if you’ll remember, you watched little leaguers build teamwork, and faint splotches on tree bark from your lactations which, if you’ll remember, happened every morning. I whisper your godforsaken name and am slapped in the head. The children cry when I smile. I cry when the children smile. Good heavens. I forbid you from not entering my corridor, even as I set up a barricade. I like my water scalding, my passion chilled, and I like you in easy-to- swallow doses. I like you in my eggs. Ditto the faucet, keyboard, the occasional lily, but do not mess with my pearls. I mumble of apodictic meadows while I sleep. What can I say? I do not mumble of unclogging your bathtub, which has a certain foul repute, and has grown heavy and ugly with your hair, which is everywhere, just as you are everywhere, and wherever, and so ********* hidden it’s not funny anymore, we stopped looking some millennia ago, after scouring the drainpipes, kicking down your doors, dissecting your mattress, speculating about your burial site, etcetera, and even so we have not been really looking all this time, have we, just blaring your name through the speakers, putting wrong numbers on our calling cards, leaving uncooked meat out on the back porch as if you were a raccoon, oh, or a lion, which you are not, or not quite, though, as the books say, you have honey in your stomach, and if you could but be ripped open we would taste and see.
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38
Black is your coffee Toasted and buttered your bread Half past seven, A quick peck on the cheek off you go to the bank one solid day you spend at the bank a loyal servant of the bank of commerce Your lover number one, the bank..always the bank... you'd be at the bank till all workers gone home you'd be at your desk checking the accounts making it balance , counting the profits recovering the loss... If there is an award for the banker of the year The outstanding achievement and the bla... bla... bla... The winner is you, without a doubt... While you're making your accounts pretty Perfecting your financial reports The dinner is getting too cold The kids are growing up so fast   Your cat is getting too old Your wife is sulking too long Your house is getting too far Your family is slowly vanishing... not physically of course... the souls of love and life is  disappearing little by little... Dear banker, If you happen to listen to this banker's wife blues...today Hope you'd throw the balance sheets in the basket and sit with your wife and kids in a garden, drinking a cup of English tea Eating some home made biscuits... How much bonus is more worthwhile than watching your kids growing up before your eyes... kissing your wife good night tasting the love doses... Tell me, after listening to all these? Will you still worry about your imbalance bank accounts?
0
May 27, 2013
May 27, 2013 at 11:26 AM UTC
Banker's Wife Blues
My skin has been itching for three months I’m not sure why this is addicting I’ve crashed a car in my head 3 times today My mental awareness consistently letting go of the wheel The Anterior teeth of my mouth have started to yellow in disapproval I’m not sure why this is satisfying I’ve been taking toxic psychotropics in light doses more than twice a day It’s warmth is comforting as the jittering and hyperactivity become null Bags have formed under my eyes If you were to open them, their roasted smell would overpower you with stimulation Constantly on my toes for risk of Insomnia and Narcolepsy I’m not sure why this is outstanding Adrenaline is being forcefully factored into my body If this is the bullet, I’m biting it after an appliance pulls the trigger As the high passes, it ripples through my mind An otherwise calm sea, tidal waves pound the shores of my subconsciousness Vacuum sealed can are filled with awareness Sleep has become a rare odyssey Warm comforters are replaced with long trachea trips of boiling beans I’m not sure why this is alarming Double trips become tripled and troubling to my mother Arguments over the hours I shall harvest from the night are increasingly frequent Slow to roll out of bed in the morning I don’t hit my carpet, I splash into sugared preparedness In my backpack hides a cup full of GI Joes I’m not sure why this is troubling If anything, I’m drinking a medicine that prevents death by 10-15% for 13 years The New England Journal of Medicine was happy to acknowledge my existence Till they announce anything different, you’ll find me taking a mud bath I’m not sure why this is disgusting Tell me everything that’s wrong with it Because from where I’m standing There is nothing wrong with Coffee
0
Nov 19, 2012
Nov 19, 2012 at 11:58 AM UTC
Beans
My skin has been itching for three months I’m not sure why this is addicting I’ve crashed a car in my head 3 times today My mental awareness consistently letting go of the wheel The Anterior teeth of my mouth have started to yellow in disapproval I’m not sure why this is satisfying I’ve been taking toxic psychotropics in light doses more than twice a day It’s warmth is comforting as the jittering and hyperactivity become null Bags have formed under my eyes If you were to open them, their roasted smell would overpower you with stimulation Constantly on my toes for risk of Insomnia and Narcolepsy I’m not sure why this is outstanding Adrenaline is being forcefully factored into my body If this is the bullet, I’m biting it after an appliance pulls the trigger As the high passes, it ripples through my mind An otherwise calm sea, tidal waves pound the shores of my subconsciousness Vacuum sealed can are filled with awareness Sleep has become a rare odyssey Warm comforters are replaced with long trachea trips of boiling beans I’m not sure why this is alarming Double trips become tripled and troubling to my mother Arguments over the hours I shall harvest from the night are increasingly frequent Slow to roll out of bed in the morning I don’t hit my carpet, I splash into sugared preparedness In my backpack hides a cup full of GI Joes I’m not sure why this is troubling If anything, I’m drinking a medicine that prevents death by 10-15% for 13 years The New England Journal of Medicine was happy to acknowledge my existence Till they announce anything different, you’ll find me taking a mud bath I’m not sure why this is disgusting Tell me everything that’s wrong with it Because from where I’m standing There is nothing wrong with Coffee
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34
you cringe, as you look in the mirror. you say a prayer, hoping God can erase this hate. you hate you. how did we get here? you try to hide it, hide the many tears and the scars. you hear people say "she is so beautiful, so bold, so carefree", your skin crawls. you try and hide, be smaller, be invisible. but everyone can see, they can smell it. your body is aching, from all the stares. your soul is rotting, from all the times self-love was promised, but never given. you have an enemy, this enemy is you, it has always been you.
0
Apr 24, 2016
Apr 24, 2016 at 5:47 PM UTC
small doses of self-hate
what the hell is love anyway? why is there this supposed special connection to someone. And why do we fret so much when it goes away? what makes it different than a friendship? is it the extra doses of horomones you get from kissing? (wich, lets face it, is oly a trigger to the brain to think of ****** contact) why must humans search and find this ONE person the propose impossible promises to? Most animals just let their ****** need envelope them when they choose and dont think too much on the subject. But doses of religion and morals of society prohibit us from doing that. Are those morals the things telling us to seek out this unreasonable aspect of love? are those morals the secret to these pain-inflicting circumstances? becasue, all feelings are are certain levels and mixtures of horomones in the brain, so love is nothing more than a science. The thing that seperates the link between enjoing someone as a friend and as a suitor is *** and the eason people get heartbroken and cry over losers who hurt them are merely the fault of morals
0
Jun 6, 2010
Jun 6, 2010 at 4:50 PM UTC
i blame morals and horomones
Love: Affection, Admiration, Lust, Adoration... There are at least 65 different definitions of the word. Feelings that inspire books of poetry or expressions of love unheard. How is it measured? Perhaps with a caliper   to measure its depth and breadth. Or with a sound meter To measure the volume and decibel or the whispering of a breath. Could you measure it in pints or cups or ounces in a measuring cup? "My cup runneth over" Can it be measured with a thermometer? "I'm burning up." How heavy is true love - can it be weighed on the scales? Can you measure love with a compass - to what degree does love prevail? Can a speedometer track the speed by which one falls in love? Or an odometer measure the distance at which love can still be felt? Can you use a syringe to limit your doses of love before it's lethal? Can you attach a heart monitor and check how a lover's heart beats faster or the health of their love - strong or weak? Can the rhythm & harmony be counted out on a metronome Can a polygraph test prove it is true? Can the magnitude of love be measured using a microscope, binoculars or a telescope - maybe Hubble.  How does one know how to bring it into "focus"? How mysterious that love is so indistinguishable, so immeasurable, so evasive & yet SO BIG! Yet no one - except for God - knows the true measure of Love & its ability to heal, to hurt.
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Nov 4, 2013
Nov 4, 2013 at 8:05 PM UTC
How Can Love Be Measured?
Women of the ROK [South Korea] unite to protest the rash of digital camera up-skirting, hidden toilet cams & dressing room holes by an avant-garde subculture whose sole aim is to redefine beauty from  the bottom up; tearing down the old order    of mere very pretty faces for the surprise   the unseen; online ******* poets who wax romantically;  over South Korean women who wear the shortest skirts of any westernized Asian country; therefore, where the average woman is expected to be above average, what could be better than a possible *** or period stain; [        ], Rupi Koar laid the foundation [her soiled garments stinking of Canadian Desi BO; dreaming wistfully of the blossoming cherry-trees in the hidden grove, streams of crystalline blood threading through the golden grass; (dead as if she was [Sleeping Beauty (on the toilet)]) & w/ healthy [or unhealthy] doses of Baudelaire, Swinburne, Poe, Sade & Wilde; this new school of poets celebrating female underwear & bottoms & beyond; what could future generations make of various Internet pseudo-intellectual movements all coalescing into a monolithic computer culture driven by the embarrassment & shame of its female members & their ***** backsides & underwear; essentially odes on her laundry basket, odes on her farts, odes on her leavings, odes on her mother's droppings & leavings, &        her grandmothers' mothers leavings; South Korean women are the original race,                their intestine driven by pure lust [a South Korean woman's soul  is in her belly]
0
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 12:53 AM UTC
the new korean ******* poetry
Women of the ROK [South Korea] unite to protest the rash of digital camera up-skirting, hidden toilet cams & dressing room holes by an avant-garde subculture whose sole aim is to redefine beauty from  the bottom up; tearing down the old order    of mere very pretty faces for the surprise   the unseen; online ******* poets who wax romantically;  over South Korean women who wear the shortest skirts of any westernized Asian country; therefore, where the average woman is expected to be above average, what could be better than a possible *** or period stain; [        ], Rupi Koar laid the foundation [her soiled garments stinking of Canadian Desi BO; dreaming wistfully of the blossoming cherry-trees in the hidden grove, streams of crystalline blood threading through the golden grass; (dead as if she was [Sleeping Beauty (on the toilet)]) & w/ healthy [or unhealthy] doses of Baudelaire, Swinburne, Poe, Sade & Wilde; this new school of poets celebrating female underwear & bottoms & beyond; what could future generations make of various Internet pseudo-intellectual movements all coalescing into a monolithic computer culture driven by the embarrassment & shame of its female members & their ***** backsides & underwear; essentially odes on her laundry basket, odes on her farts, odes on her leavings, odes on her mother's droppings & leavings, &        her grandmothers' mothers leavings; South Korean women are the original race,                their intestine driven by pure lust [a South Korean woman's soul  is in her belly]
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32
Socrates consumed Hemlock, Cleopatra embraced the Asp, Alan Turing ate an apple laced with cyanide, I, like those before me, Have picked my poison; An absinthe-eyed, quicksilver-tongued boy. He was unsettled when I answered with the truth of his query, Yes, he is poison, I knowingly and willingly consume every drop of him, Not all toxicity is solely adverse, Radiation treats cancer, Venom in low doses is an antidote, Ethanol relaxes muscle and numbs the emotions. He is my poison and my antidote, He is the corrosive acid that dissolves gear-stopping rust, I, in kind, am the poison apple of his eye, Or so he says, And so, we two, bask in the destruction of ourselves, Consuming each other's pain, insecurity, madness, and lust, Why is it that he, a poison, is the one I trust?
0
Jun 5, 2017
Jun 5, 2017 at 12:16 PM UTC
Pick Your Poison
I love you I love you I love you More than you could ever know More than anyone ever hopes to be loved. More than you can understand. More than you can fathom. A limitless, unconditional, fierce love. The kind that comes like a passionate hurricane and still soft and sweet like morning fog. That's how much I love you. Know that I never knew love until I met you and you unlocked doors to emotions that I never thought were real. This fierce romantic love never roared until you awakened it That's why I always said that you saved my life. Because you did. I was dead, the pain was so much and then you came in, bringing with you euphoria that I only ever experienced in small doses. But holy **** when you walked into the room my blood felt like it was on fire. A yearning and craving unlike anything I'd ever experienced before, not just to feel your body but to know your mind. To know and behold all quirks of your personality, everything. I wanted to be completely submersed in the universe that is your mind. So now do you understand what I mean when I say "I love you" ?
0
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015 at 8:43 PM UTC
Now do you understand?
I once slept with a few sophisticated rats, 5 to be exact, on a pull-out couch from a garage sale in corona, queens they had ivy league IQs; double majors in evasion and skullduggery, and a crush on my left thumb.... *the  one you ****** on as a kid...,* posited dr diaz, my shrink with an md from the lesser antilles like freaks, they came out at night, in indian file... as the raging moon dipped below my cracked glass window, and  a cimmerian shroud swallowed its receding light, and I snored... on the couch, left thumb hanging loose near the floor where a heavily highlighted textbook lay wide open... cued by the dipping moon or the rhythmic rasp ripping through the room like a stihl chain saw, the curious 5 whisked over the persian rug, or was it soiled chinese? like I said they had ivy league IQs.... thus my heavily cheesed wire traps remained engaged but cheese-less... as the curious 5 converged around the couch for dessert... ~ I skipped mgmt 301 at 10 and dr diaz gave me a rabies shot: 4 doses ig, a sterile bandage for my shredded left thumb, and a referral to his realtor... ~ P (Pablo) (8/8/2013)
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Aug 8, 2013
Aug 8, 2013 at 4:05 PM UTC
Sleeping With Rats...
In March of 2010 a 46 year old white male was brought to this hospital after a severe 'episode'. He was placed in the Mental Health Intensive Care Unit .  He was diagnosed with " Major Depression ". This is considered Slow Death , a treatable disorder by the AMA currently . Artist and Architect will lay out Hallucinations and conceptual designs , Engineers , Mathematicians and Surveyors will coordinate more pills at higher doses because minute details to within fractions of an inch followed by schizophrenia by Earth moving equipment , graders , bulldozers , psychotic episodes , dump trucks , Carpenters and Concrete ,  bi-polar disorder and  Bricklayer will labor different Help treatment methods because the drugs are having absolutely no piece by piece constructing form , pylon , shoring embankments for Steel Worker and Welder ,Pipefitter and Increased risk of suicide was reported for Plumber and all manner of tradesman , supplier and Pharmacist ........             Psychiatrist and Psychologist will formulate a treatment plan which will include drug therapy and counseling sessions with Electrician and patient and Spouse plus other family members if needed in order to reach the island Drowning which will be a difficult task . Emory Hospital is conducting new research because they finally admit to depression drugs  not working in Freak more than half the patients today , like every other building bridges in hopes of getting to the island that is depression .
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Sep 27, 2015
Sep 27, 2015 at 9:42 PM UTC
Crumbling Infrastructure
In March of 2010 a 46 year old white male was brought to this hospital after a severe 'episode'. He was placed in the Mental Health Intensive Care Unit .  He was diagnosed with " Major Depression ". This is considered Slow Death , a treatable disorder by the AMA currently . Artist and Architect will lay out Hallucinations and conceptual designs , Engineers , Mathematicians and Surveyors will coordinate more pills at higher doses because minute details to within fractions of an inch followed by schizophrenia by Earth moving equipment , graders , bulldozers , psychotic episodes , dump trucks , Carpenters and Concrete ,  bi-polar disorder and  Bricklayer will labor different Help treatment methods because the drugs are having absolutely no piece by piece constructing form , pylon , shoring embankments for Steel Worker and Welder ,Pipefitter and Increased risk of suicide was reported for Plumber and all manner of tradesman , supplier and Pharmacist ........             Psychiatrist and Psychologist will formulate a treatment plan which will include drug therapy and counseling sessions with Electrician and patient and Spouse plus other family members if needed in order to reach the island Drowning which will be a difficult task . Emory Hospital is conducting new research because they finally admit to depression drugs  not working in Freak more than half the patients today , like every other building bridges in hopes of getting to the island that is depression .
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1. Kissing is not boring. Something I had never known. 2. ***** are just ***** but you like mine because they're mine. 3. You are a camel. You drink water in large and spread-out doses Just like you drink in my affection Stocking up on love because you're not sure when you'll get your next fix. 4. I'm happy to give and give so that you never forget how it feels. 5. You can never be too close to someone. Eyes flitting back and forth Fingers tracing Bodies crushing in a stedfast attempt to defy the laws of physics And melt into one. 6. Sing-alongs do not have to be on-key to be entertaining. 7. Kissing is not boring. Something I had never known. Never understood how one person could Spend hours with another's lips. 8. You called me a ***** And I might be good at something I'd never done before. 9. Secrets can be magical and torturous. 10. Hand-holding can become an addiction And "too comfortable" an understatement. 11. Love is, in fact, blind to distance. Terminals and metal detectors Are water off Love's wings And Baggage claim can be an utterly thrilling place. 12. You don't know what loneliness is until someone leaves you Exposed In the middle of a bed made for two For a bathroom break. 13. Kissing is not boring. Something I had never known. Never understood how one person could Spend hours with another's lips Tongue-tied in the dim light, Until I had it all to myself; Until you were there to prove it to me.
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Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 4:08 PM UTC
13 Things You Taught Me
i have never tried drugs, some pills that could make me intoxicated as i was already high on happiness. but then i realized, self love which was the spark behind my positivity is vanishing. i was horrified. it has become a drug to myself that i couldn't imagine my soul working without it. my passion needed more doses of self love, and i couldn't make it anymore. at that time, i wished— if self love can be found in forms of pills and drugs, then i already would have been intoxicating. but i never got it. i thank myself at that time for stoping myself as sometimes self love isn't important as long as you are breathing. other than your blood, flesh and bones anything can make you go insane. so it's better to stay on earth and stop doing our drugs of different obsessions.
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Feb 27, 2021
Feb 27, 2021 at 11:26 PM UTC
if i could take self-love drug
Everything she writes is tagged #DEPRESSION           You break my heart, know. Even with these chemical bonds holding me together, these frail spiderwebs weaving around ventricles, you shatter them like a calm breeze, playing child, a secret told to the wrong set of ears. The characters in (y)our plays [on words] are the crux of (y)our matters. We're all ancillary like stepping stones; pity (y)our destination begs leaving no stone unturned. My stepping stones are tablets, though. 20mg doses of baby steps, crossing voids like I see in (y)our eyes. My mouth is cavernous, my throat the steps to hell (wide and steep and too easy to trip down). Each night - a crusade to save me. Each morning - a body count. One. Good enough for me. Each time I sign on - the body count grows.
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Jul 3, 2014
Jul 3, 2014 at 2:56 PM UTC
Chemically Inducted
Loneliness an edge piece of a giant puzzle stuck under the couch Loneliness the sixteen year old cat, too old for happiness, that has to be put down Loneliness that one friend always canceling like a tornado drill becoming a false alarm Loneliness a filled room everyone busy checking phones like they're waiting waitng for orders Loneliness craving attention like it's lemon juice too sweet in large doses Loneliness a flask filled unknown substance inside risking life with a sip like a game of blackjack
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Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 11:46 PM UTC
Loneliness
It felt as though the humidity itself carried a hint of liquor as we walked out into the night, wanting only to escape our lives for a little. Deep down in Vieux Carre twisted brass clashed with a piano running half step from the crowded clubs on Frenchman Street. We filled our lungs with the city and found her to be like certain kinds of dangerous doses-- intoxicating. It was our second night and the more we drank the more I began to see glimpses of the specters spoken of by locals. They linger in my peripheral, watching me with their sunken eyes. You could faintly hear them moan, only in defeated tones and their collective scowl danced in the heavy air of summer as though it were a part from all that jazz. In the stranger hours of morn I was approached by a ghost a few blocks off Bourbon. He offered up nothing but his ***** palms in hopes of some false salvation. I wrestled a dollar from my pocket and passed it on to him, only to watch him fruitlessly grasp at it before it slide through his ghostly hands to the floor below. He looked down at the dollar all helpless-like and he said "It’s been slipping through my fingers like dat for years now and ain't nobody help’n me." I walked from him, realizing then why I had needed this trip, I needed to remember all the love in my life because the only difference between me and the ghosts of N'awlins was someone cared about me, and I cared enough about them not to destroy myself.
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Sep 1, 2015
Sep 1, 2015 at 2:06 PM UTC
The Ghosts of N'awlins
I adore the crispness of an apple, Thin, breakable skin Encasing **** flesh, Hiding danger in small doses. Its dewy, red skin, Could ****** anyone - From Eve to Snow-White. A bite and you're done for. It's a dangerous fruit To get from a stranger. A witch in disguise, An old lady, Or God. But you? You didn't offer me apples. You offered a single pomegranate, Hard to crack open, But hides dozens of nectar-filled seeds. A single one won't do the trick, So why not have some? Just a little. You? You opened it, Wide and inviting, And watched me get Addicted to the unsuspected, To the soft and juicy insides. You? You watched me count the seeds, Almost obsessing over The delicateness of each one. Blessing you, Praising you, Before biting into one seed, Or two, Or a dozen, Or ten thousand. And I? I followed the pomegranate's many, many seeds Feeding and feasting Right from your hands. Finding pleasure in the poison, Innocently falling captive, Taking the bait, As you march me straight to hell. It was too late when I realized, Apples are for witches, Pomegranates are for worse.
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Sep 18, 2020
Sep 18, 2020 at 4:10 PM UTC
Persephone
Wailing walls, howling fences Encaged and blocked by barriers All smashed, sorted in security fence Miles of humanity and flesh torn apart Why is it that we can’t live together? We bleed the same coagulating blood Lined up and humiliated in alleyways Paths of iron bars and imprisonment My veins wringed, intensive torment Mentally distracted, strained by grief Settlement, conflicts and border struggles Governance, religious trickles of disunion The biblical birthright verses human rights The unsighted straining peace settlement Shadows of the peace blueprint screams Ongoing reconciliation, milked in small doses Whose home is whose? Subdivided in areas Controls of disillusionment undisclosed Unmanned checkpoints evokes fears Revolving cameras tossed and turned Bansky slogan “make hummus not war” Smashes freedom to uproot  and merge Constitute and construct peaceful resorts All horns blowing to collapse duality
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Jan 3, 2016
Jan 3, 2016 at 2:08 PM UTC
Bawling West-Bank Barrier