I called them our divorce beds
Every night after we cuddled and couldn't
longer stand the claustophobic cover of our sheets
we found ourselves in seperate beds

divorce beds.

You slept on sheets covered in pink owls.
I slept on teal sheets covered in stars.
We were a twin bedroom dream.

Taking full advantage of a single dorm room
Our nights consisted of heavy whispers
Trains that fled our lungs and vocal chords
in search of the next station

Before sleep hit our barren chests
We'd lay awake and listen to our breaths
Sometimes mine turned into snores.
You hated that

Snores reminded you of your father
Something about expanded vocal chords
creating a symphony at night
scared you

Your father never married
Mine found safetey in a women
in a polka dotted dress
Who could transform his symphony of snores
Into an orchestra of love

Your father was bound by his only son
His nights spent in distress
Echoed a chorus of tears

Until he met Melinda
He called her beautiful
Words that hadn't left his lips since his son emerged into the world
A women full of desires and hopes
too large to fit underneath fitted sheets

You told me about her.
The way your father described the outline of her lips
parallel to the lines of stars that filled the sky
Her freckles constellations of undiscovered stars
Some nights our divorce beds
Felt too close for comfort, and
you would disspear in the morning
Claiming there was monsters in the walls
and that my snores were your fathers

You loved your father
A man who kept his word
Even when his life wedged tradegy into his veins
and his heart wanted to collapse into the inside of his chest
Your love for that man
could never be compared to anything

My father
Foud his life strewn apart into carefully
strung pieces of literature.
Words lulling women into the secrept compartments of his home
With authors no one had even heard of
Except himself.

The only advice my father only said was
“Two wrongs don't make a right”
But it is so hard
When you are throwing rocks at my glass house of confidence
I would shout

Shattered by your slurrs
Skipped rocks don't even miss
the walls that were carefully sculpted
into beautiful stained glass

My father was an artist
I told you about how his conductor
was a women with lips blood red
and kisses so sweet they could make his canvas bleed

You laughed
The differences between our fathers
Two men who believed in two different things
Two men who were in a constant search
for something other than the normal routine

As you laughed underneath your **** pink owl sheets
You told me to hurry up and fall asleep
You felt better listening to my breathing pattern lullabyes

Sometimes when those lullabyes turn heavy
and my chest rattles beneath my teal starred sheets

Please don't leave.
Don't flee.
There is too much hope living under our
divorce beds.

i disspear into the night
with out a sight

im always at my peak
never weak!

i defend whats right
even to a fight!

i watch them take there last deep breath
before there death

i draw my power from the night
which gives me my might

know one is safe at night
stay off the streets so you dont see my sight!

You give me a bad feeling.
An Image of you runs through my brain
When your away,
Your face locked in my head
I can’t escape
Barely holding through the grey.

Moments fade to snapshots
Finger tips, kisses
To finger prints
And smudged lipstick
Days  spent in your car,
To now not knowing where the f** You are.
NIghts making you meals,
Laughing at reels
Making deals
Now, Phone calls and texts
Now even fade.
turned to now nothing,
Not even hey?
Im supposed to be your girl
Not feel alone in this world


Is it Just a game of who has the upper hand,
That ritual wont last
A dumb game to play,
When your grown and have already marked the pace,I know what i want,
No need to back and forth
Catch and chase
Days of waste.
Grey even fades.

A ghost, my home
Where’d you go?
That’s what makes me look for your crown.
It must be crooked, lost, somewhere,
It must be found.
I know i can turn this around, i say.
But really,
I pray.

The unknown,
The prowler at night
He seeks
He seethes
He bleeds for what he needs

My lion, my prince,
But The leo leads your days
The teeth are near
camouflage gear
claws are here  

You fade away,
Into the night,
turned days..
His hunger
He basks
He prowls
He escapes.

She dreams
She listens
She escapes
Starry nights
Headphones
And reminisce.
Long silences
Deep breaths
Hums from my heart
Into the earth
Without speaking a word.

Hoping you feel me
With your feet
If I vibrate loud enough,
I know youll feel it.
Through the smoke
I hope, It doesnt fleet.
Where is he?
Thoughts start to create,
Could he,
Would he,
Not her..

My heart
Slam beat
My mind,
Tries to delete.
When your are away,
And the image of you
Loops in my brain.
Like a broken record
On display
The once symphony
Now is only a screech.

A feeling i can’t describe.
Want to run and cry,
Hide,
sometimes die
Jump out of this window and maybe fly.

Maybe for a day..
I can disspear into the thin air.
But tomorrow,
It might all be great

My fate,
I can’t escape
Can’t mold it
like clay


K.c 9/5/2023