the world sits on the wing of a dove
being swallowed whole by a fiery goddess
descended from heaven on a chariot of ivy
i am incarcerated by shaking flesh and itching cloth
the road before me is giant and knows no bounds
the graveyard is warm and wet with spirits and dew
and red clouds are born from fire in the dawn
there is an intelligent horse being ridden by a snarling insect
and this man has come to claim our souls
our sunset blood burns boils blisters until a million animals wounded
i'm still alive, transfigure me into a creator
choke up my nostrils with the scent of your ***
invade my lungs with the burn of your god
caress my toungue with the infinite promise
enter my brain from above, and regurgitate your anxiety on me
slimy worms devour a psychadelic tomato laughing
into transendency, an eyeless eel has dissappeared into a pocket
i speak from balconies, from terrible heights, from hastened windowsills
in a million desperate quarrelling cities
this is where i **** up illusion, i give up to despondency
i ring the great iron bell that resounds with corruption, with hatred, with hideous *** and admiration,
i scream and cavort on rooftops alone with a black & blue midnight
covered in electric lights and gunpowder tongues
here comes the disintegration of my mind
disgraced by the eye of the earth and spat into
a realm of salivating light
i am swimming through digested heartbreak and melancholy livers
sickened by madness and homemade bombs and ******
the rainclouds carry a truckload of babies' hearts
and it's raining eyes over the city now
the cry of the mind escapes from waving mouths in impotence
as millions of bacteria invade the brain
may these lines be answered by the bird of the sun
by the worm at my ear
by the sight of my skeleton
by the stench of ***** in the air
by the dead gong shivering through midnight
by the bleeding eye of abandoned dreams
by the prophets in proclamation
by the god of all my sorrows

In a desperate attempt to  save hello  from near destruction the evil man ****** but yet charming in all togather strange way.
Elliot had a moment of true brillance   To get the anchors of hello togather  in a nice beach house.
Okay it  was a soon to be condemed rat trap hotel  on the Jersy shore and film it.

My worries were alerted already  for I was  really  wasnt up for making a **** .
Who am i kidding  sure i am.
But like when momma  gonzo told me that fat *****  in the red suit
wasnt really santa  just a child  molester.
I was wondering why santa  was  giving out candy in july
And why that candy cane was never in his pocket .
So the **** thing was off  it was to be a reallity show.

Freee ***** a chance to act up like a three year old hyped up on cookies    and crystal **** or whatever the kids were into these days.
They had me  sold so like a flock of segulls we ran   we ran so far away  eventhough  probation  said no my    gonzo sense said yes hey  lindsy lohan told me it sounded like  great idea  and who can argue with a crazy coke head.  

So we gathred in the bleek hope of saving hello from total boredom  and thoose hiku  writting nazis   from poetry soup.
Jack, Baths, Chris,Eileen,Gary,Paula,And that ***** Gonzo  
really  im so insecure  must just be that time of the month.

The rooms reminded me as a cross between the bates motel
and something outta the shining yes charming indeed.
We had the top floor  I always liked being on top but enough with the
forplay children.

The rooms  were picked  okay guys over there   girls come with me it was worth a try.  
The rooms were picked the honey moon suite  
going to me and Jack   ahh ****    there were strobe lights  stripper pole heart shapped  hot tub   jesus it was like  elton john had thrown  up in here  at least it smelled like it.

elliot had made it clear the bar tab was on us but knowing what a true sweetheart  he was he had somehow  left me his credit card
in my wallet maybe without knowing it.

One thing bout  are weird kinda umm  well  funny smelling digs  
there was a true blessing there  a bar   for what is a gonzo without his bar   much like a samuri  without his sword or a mean twig model without her cellphone  to throw  and finger to put down her throat to puke   memories   all alone in the moonlight dam you cats.

With some simple calls  the party was in full swing  and are shuttle bus slash   pinto had us at the hotest club slash retirement  home.
The music blasting so low as to not cause   bowel problems.
Me and Chris showing the old farts  how to play beer pong.
Missed shot  drink up grandma and please put your clothes on
****** you gravity.

Jack  kept the dance floor jumping  with his  fake mustache  little captians hat   and some other leather gear  once told me one thing that ****** was fahasion forward  you go girl.

Paula, Baths and Eileen   worked the newly  started  card game. You dont know how to gamble?  
Well are girls are happy to show ya gramps
Gary had disapeared  to the rest room  for some odd reason.
How he did put a smile on thoose  old ladies faces  seinor care
aint it grand they were were just glowing  what a odd place to be giving reading.

After we had hustled i mean  helped thoose old folks outta there life savings  it was time to party  really  they were almost dead  anyways
and a  funeral plot is overrated   just do what my  uncle did with his ex wife  tell everyone  one she went on vacation and bury her in backyard.

I'll never go tressure hunting again.
We hit the club like  like a hurricane that was laced with wild turkey   and   and a few rational thoughts.

The night was magic   for the money dissappeared   in seconds so like  any broke ***  writers  would do when facing  a fifteen thousand dollar bar tab.
We got the **** outta there.
Thank  god for a restroom window never mind me miss
im with security  and may i say you have a great rack.

The hotel reaked of mayhem and  a old winos ****  and maybe a dead
corpse or two.
HaAHahaha they'll never find you Drew.

It was like the cover of Sgt  Pepers lonley hearts club band  you know by   that classic group the backstreet boys.  
Yes drinking it doesnt effect the mind at all   now who the **** are you?

Dwarfs  junkies   men wearing sailors hats and **** straps did Jack have a dance  troupe?
Hookers drag queens  holy bat crap wonder woman   Lady Ga Ga.
Seems she had crashed into are pinto parked in the the street ******   Chris  i told you park it on the side walk  like me.

Jack  as  if  in a trance  was on stage with the  space alien ******
known as Ga Ga   it was a match made in a state   thats probaly filled with crazy people  like  Utah  or Canada.
Okay im kidding i love Canada  and i just learned it's a country
oh no wonder they hay have fences  I just thought they was a gated  community.  

Paula hit the floor after her third drink   and would probaly question   why somone  had written this space for rent  on her forehead
But like a true man that i was i would  blame that on Gary.

Chris and Eileen  danced laughed I had this odd feeling they were close   as Baths replied no **** sherlock  now pour me another  wine
befor i kick you in the *****   she is a charmer.

The crew fliming are madness  as togather we all danced apon the bar  but for some odd reason the ground had tilted and only effected me  dam UKs and there ninja abiltys and Garys knack for floating  on air.
I went down like a cheerleader on prom night hitting my head apon the floor.

Out like a stripper at a frat boys party after she had   beer and roofie
cocktail.
I was taken to a magical place  were  whiskey  flowed  like water
and you didnt have to pay for ***.

I awoke  in a hospital bed   head taped up  surrounded  by friends
the doctor asking many questions puzzled I made no sense.
Dear Lord this man has   brain dammage the doctor said.

The nurse leaned over  her  low cut top hey it's my write okay.
Brought a gleam to my devilish eyes   hey i mouthed   to Chris
I can see her *******.

Well  Gonzos fine  Chris replied.
As From the restroom there was a clatter
so i did turn my hungover head to see what  the **** was a matter.            

Jack appeared from the rest room Ga Ga in arm.
naked as bald eagle   void of feathers.

Gary.  Hey  i always herd  she was a .

Chris  Thats just ******* weird.

Paula. Who's the ***** who wrote on my forhead?  

Eileen.  it wasnt Chrisey poo.

Baths. Jesus  Gonzo your   long winded  crazy   and good looking
yeah i added that       hey don hit me i just had a near sober experience.
dam gaga is really a.

Jack  yeah and im in love my my my  poker face

FIN

Dissappeared as if a dark cloud decayed the body in a matter of miliseconds and disposed of it somewhere unknown.  Never did I see a single sign of being psychologically sick.  Not one piece of evidence to prove her existence. Multiple memories of her wither away slowly.  No discernment  to the delphian disappearance.  Very vague memories of her,  perhaps she was a vision.  Maybe,  just maybe my imagination  had gone too far with my mind. No! Her disappearance  was real;  but due to her irrelevance,   and exodus she was forgotten in the conscious  mind of others. Maybe its time that I finally forget about the phantom that haunts my memories, and makes me question my sanity.  Gone she is,  and gone she will be.  So the acknowledgment of her existence  is Irrelevant.  She is now,  and forever has and will be nonexistent. -V.H.

Freedom rang,
bang   bang   bang
and we traversed the dense foilage
of my Sepia Jungle
Populated by Spirited faeries
Whose lives came and went with the blowing wind.
And Time dissappeared beneath the sublte sunshine
As we entered Apricot Village
Where twisted, sappy leaves gnarled between
Milky white blossoms that decorated fetal fruits,
Whose crowning golden heads pushed petals fresh,
From budding limb,
Now kidnapped by the wind, a lazy sloshing sea of air,
The ground garnished by its aged spices.
It was a village where cottages grew among the Trees.
Devoid of holiness & Dogma, but steeped in the rife Purity of Nature,
No Man was to be seen, rotting fruit about the feet of Trees,
The floors of cottages strewn with Apricot pits, fleshy fruit half eaten
By the Birds, nestled into fertile Earth, and sprouted Life
rising fresh from pichest soil.
We ate of the fruit, now rested in the Golden Afternoon, which
Reached beyond the fringe of Time,
The fleshy pulp of Apricots the strands of bygone Universes,
Which taught us how to slumber there among
The petals and the Wind.

How silent is the mountain
It Stood there then
It Stood there now
It Stood there still
unmoved.. undisturbed.. Undistracted
Frozen and Cold...
But its there..

Isolated and mysterious
A pin drop silent
surrounds the atmosphere
A roar I heard from nowhere
A ray of sunlight from between the trees
Am I imagining things..
At the peak of Mount Kinabalu i am now standing..
Breathless... I collapsed to the ground
But I am so so proud...

I wish to praise this mountain
For standing still and strong for hundred of years
Never has it changed or moved
Never has it left or dissappeared..

It stood as it is.. loyal as it is..
Attached.. intact To the earth and ground..
Never separated, never let you down..
It is there.. standing there
so strong.. so tough.. so tall..
It is freaking cold.. I am freezing to death..
Chills to the bone..

But i have been so bold..
I have conquered this mountain top
I am never gonna look back..
Its my mountain.. Its yours too..

I miss those old-fashioned barber shops
The ones where everyone was welcome
You could hear stories about people who made it to the top
Never just a place to get your haircut, but a place to have fun,
filled with conversation and good memories
I spent most of my childhood in one.
And through everything in my life that went terribly wrong
The barber shop was a place that made me feel strong
Surrounded by people who loved and who cared
A place where every ounce of happiness was shared
Places like these I love the most
But I haven't seen a shop in a while, They sort of dissappeared, Like ghosts

Let my unseen wild stream take you there
I have become nothing but air, truly heavenly air

A new way has come to me a language only the old tongues could speak

Is imaginery wisdom not the mother of all ennemies?
Would they believe once the wild wisdom win for them relief?

Few will miss for leaving so suddenly
But i must tell you everything for i have become invisible, impossible to see
Voicelessly i hope you'll understand
I shall tell you briefly how it all began

Alone in the mountains above the trees a child's whisper said to me:
For many years i see you here wandering slowly above the trees
Your humility made you worthy of my peaks
You shall become a wild stream
Then i just dissappeared

Words Of Harfouchism

When I awoke on the
morning of my 63rd
Birthday I found my
Sun had been here and gone,
like a thief in the night,
when all I was doing
was trying to get it right,
not thinking it would
turn into a fight.
  I thought I knew you
so well but because I was
in love with you, I did not
recognize what I saw in
you now as you walked
away knowing that you were
not coming back anytime soon.
  I can't play your games and
because of you I now realize
that I am much to strong
not to come alive. It has been
too long since I felt this way,
able to see myself in a brand
new way.
  I realize now that you were
holding me down, but I can
turn it around even though
I changed my life to be with you
only to be compromised by
your thoughtless lies.
    I thought you were my
"Angel in Disguise,"but you
turned out to be one big lie.
I thought that we had so much
but two years later you
won't even touch.
  I won't look back because
it is done but we had some
fun for such a brief time
that just dissappeared too fast,
a time I was sure would last.
  Tomorrow is another day,
the first without you
by my side in such a long time
,but I'll be ok, I'll just find
another part to play with
someone else who says
they care and who knows,
maybe our paths will cross
again someday and you can
laugh and say
"I knew him when and
I left him on his Birthday,"
such sweet sorrows,
but it brought me
a better tomorrow.                                         Jon York 2011

You asked me to wait
So I did.

Small,
Cold
Was the table.

Big.
Crowded
Was the place.

Black.
Hot
Was your coffee

Steam floating from it
And just like fog
it dissappeared.

Black,
Cold
Was your coffee

Big,
Empty
Was the place

Long,
Sad
Was my waiting.

It's said that there are many fish in the sea
But to me
You were the ocean
So blue and yet so unclear
Engulfing me in your waters until I dissappeared
Into the unknown

I dove headfirst into the abyss
As I watched the waters turn a darker shade of blue
Descending deeper into a world that was all too new
I headed straight down

1000...
2000...
3000 meters
Until I finally reached the bottom and saw your darkest regions
The place where no sunlight ever dared enter
And you introduced me to the ghastly creatures that called your sea bed home

I spent so much time absorbed that I didn't even notice that I was running out of air
That I was already suffocating
So I came out flailing with exhausted lungs
Sputtering water and gasping to breathe
Yet even as I lay there on the surface
Unconsciously drifting away
Your relentless waves crashed over me and dragged me back in a maddening cycle

But I let it all happened

Because I chose to test your waters
I took on the challenges of braving the currents
The challenges of loving you
And even though your tides took me to places I didn't want to go and your waves relentlessly toppled over me

I never held it against you

Because every night, when the tides stood still and your waves calmed down
I looked at you in admiration and saw how you reflected the stars in the night sky
How they glimmered on your skin
And shined with so much hope
Radiated so much wonder
Mesmerized with such beauty
I was enthralled

But it's sad to think that a man can only last so long in the sea
That over time, the water turns his hands wrinkled
His body fatiguged
His feet sore from trying so hard to stay afloat
That eventually, he must swim back to the shore

And eventually lose sight of the ocean

It's been a while since I've been out of your waters
I don't know when I'll regain the strength to jump back in
But know that I'll be stronger next time

Your waters have made me more resilient
And at least I have that to thank you for

Oh we loved once,
You were there,
I gave you myself
And you dissappeared
Off in the mountains of Spain.
I'm lying here,
Writing lyrics on my computer,
Singing about your apathy
And my heartbreak.
I reminisce nostalgically of the pressure of your lips,
That burning friction that aroused my desire,
Infatuated love.
Red turns blue,
Fire washed by rain,
Water mixed with tears,
River flowing endlessly
I'm a trout, going against the current.
Reaching for that dry place,
The fire flame.
It'll dry me out but I seek closure,
I seek to find the burning embers
In the cavern.
I know cavemen lurk within and will spear me,
But maybe, from death is rebirth.
From rebirth is debt,
From debt attatchment,
And I'll find that love,
That resurrected unsevered love that crosses
Multiple universes and lives.

I've been anxious and depressed lately.
I haven't got time to catch my breath
I am so drained I can't even collect the energy to do basic tasks
My parents hate me because of this
I can't defend myself anymore
I don't have the energy to do so
My self destructive ways of coping are taking over my body
I can't breathe
It's like the color dissappeared and everything is foggy
I don't know how much longer I can take this
I've had enough

I looked into your eyes and I saw the future.
You sparkled of joy and happiness and,
Everything that I wanted from life was here,

But suddenly soon it had dissappeared,
Memories and love had cleared,
When love itself had ceased to appear,
I knew right then that pain was near,

You'd look into MY EYES and say,
That you were happy nothing's changed,
But nothing wasn't nothing dear,
Nothing then was something to fear,

But I was caught up and deeper I dug,
Between all of the kisses and hugs,
My love for you was my only drug,
The only song I'd ever sung,

Soon I began to notice the distance,
At the stop signs, no longer kisses,
Nothing had changed of whom I adored,
Were you the risk and not the reward?

The next part happened all too fast,
When into depression my mind relapsed,
When I couldn't remember who I was,
Any of the reasons why or because,

You left me stranded oh so alone,
This house stopped feeling like a home,
You only loved me at convenience to you,
So now I wonder, was any of it true?

The soul opens itself to the golden rays of the sun.
Burns hate from flesh as love cools wounds on one...

Who loved another
Expected nothing...gave all they had

Strength
Adoration...

The true recipe for a meal to nuture and fuel two once lost in cold waves of nuclear rads....

Closed minds fuse with blind rage
shoots a gun and kills the mokingbird in his cage.

As the night turned to day and the Creator has seen the rubble of aftermath...

The spirit gets slapped back from the dead of blind rage
The heart beats back to life
Wounded flies from closed up cages.

Have you seen her? My mokingbird...
Us two hearts singing as one

Fused by truth
True harmonies....

Open the mind.......
Hate becomes a past that dissappeared with one word that defined, "KIND.."

DON'T TELL ME YOU LOVED ME
DON'T ACT LIKE YOU CARE
BECAUSE IF YOU DID LOVE ME
OR CARE FOR MY SOUL
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GAVE UP
LEAVING ME DANGLING HERE ALONE
DON'T SAY THAT YOU MISS ME
DON'T TRY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER
BECAUSE IF YOU DO MISS ME OR WANTED THINGS BETTER
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE DISSAPPEARED AND MADE ME TRY TO FORGET
I THOUGHT IT WAS DIFFERENT THIS TIME
AND SO I HOPED YOU WERE THE ONE
BUT TURNS OUT YOU LEAVING CAN'T JUST BE UNDONE
-te

I remember the night we first meet
how time stood still
with you standing before me
how the whole world went silent
except for the song of your voice

I can't remember what I said
wether I stuttered the word "hi"
or just mouthed "hello"
or just stood their with a stupid
goofy smile on my face

and that smile became yours
and only yours
I had never known that happiness
could feel that good

then as life so often goes
and happiness so often ends
you where gone
dissappeared
with the autumn of the leaves

now a life of seasons
have lived and passed
through the marrow of my bones
and here you are standing
holding down the hands on the clock
the years between us fade away
and in all the white noise
all I can hear is you

and I smile I have not worn
since the last time
you left eternity on my lips
finds my face
in all its goofy stupid glory

and even when I'm not
that smile is still yours

always

and only yours

Oh we loved once,
You were there,
I gave you myself
And you dissappeared
Off in the mountains of Spain.
I'm lying here,
Writing lyrics on my computer,
Singing about your apathy
And my heartbreak.
I reminisce nostalgically of the pressure of your lips,
That burning friction that aroused my desire,
Infatuated love.
Red turns blue,
Fire washed by rain,
Water mixed with tears,
River flowing endlessly
I'm a trout, going against the current.
Reaching for that dry place,
The fire flame.
It'll dry me out but I seek closure,
I seek to find the burning embers
In the cavern.
I know cavemen lurk within and will spear me,
But maybe, from death is rebirth.
From rebirth is debt,
From debt attatchment,
And I'll find that love,
That resurrected unsevered love that crosses
Multiple universes and lives.

When you touched me I could feel mountains form and spirits realse. I felt lights ignite and I felt at home.
But it must not have been the same for you
Because one night you left
And the mountains eroded, spirits dissappeared, I watched slowly as the light faded out.
~LB

We took each others falsely
noses off
We met each other later
after the bus ride where
everybody took each others
noses off
Where we met in my
romance of not knowing
Where I dissappeared myself,
because we didn't take
each others noses off.

© Clarissa van Vreden

In art I found
my pain had a place in the world
and that way, it dissappeared,
it got blown
it got healed, even if slow

Art is not life
And life is not art
but hear me out

every true heart beat
and every fake one too
it's art you leave there
is it any good?

Life is steady - trying to **** us up
Trying to get in the way of us
But this nuisance that pierces
is nothing but a speck in the eye of the universe
Even to our own eyes. It burns, mortal eternal, and blinds,
but it won't make us die.

"My pain is tiny but oh it is fierce"
I would be glad if it dissappeared.
My ache is minor - but I complain because it ******* stings.
And I can't see an end to it
But it exists