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"disorders" poems
My Bipolar Disorder is a stout-bodied mammal with horns and cloven hooves. There are two types of My Bipolar Disorder: Domestic, and Mountain. My Bipolar disorder typically spends its days grazing on grasses My Bipolar Disorder will dig depressions in the ground to sleep, rest, and bathe in. My Bipolar disorder is super social during the winter, and tends to go solo during the summer. My Bipolar Disorders tail usually points up! (Unless it is frightened or sick) My Bipolar Disorder is extremely Curious and Intelligent. Once My bipolar disorder has discovered a weakness in its fence, it will exploit it repeatedly. There are over 300 distinct breeds of My Bipolar Disorder. Within' minutes of being born, my Bipolar Disorder is up and walking around. My bipolar disorder used to live in the white house with Abraham Lincoln. One day an ethiopian Herder walked in on My Bipolar Disorder liteally bouncing off of cliff walls because it just Discovered Coffee. My Bipolar Disorder has four stomachs The horns of My Bipolar Disorder are typically removed to reduce injury to humans. My Bipolar disorder will explore anything new or unfamiliar in its surroundings, mainly with its mouth and tongue. My bipolar disorder readily reverts to the wild if given the opportunity. My Bipolar Disorder is more susceptible to Parasites and other infectious diseases when it is mismanaged. My bipolar disorder has had a lingering connection with Satanism and pagan religions My Bipolar Disorder is considered a "clean" animal by jewish dietary laws. According to Zeus As long as you leave it's bones whole, My Bipolar disorder will keep coming back to life.
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May 9, 2016
May 9, 2016 at 1:19 PM UTC
My Bipolar Disorder
My Bipolar Disorder is a stout-bodied mammal with horns and cloven hooves. There are two types of My Bipolar Disorder: Domestic, and Mountain. My Bipolar disorder typically spends its days grazing on grasses My Bipolar Disorder will dig depressions in the ground to sleep, rest, and bathe in. My Bipolar disorder is super social during the winter, and tends to go solo during the summer. My Bipolar Disorders tail usually points up! (Unless it is frightened or sick) My Bipolar Disorder is extremely Curious and Intelligent. Once My bipolar disorder has discovered a weakness in its fence, it will exploit it repeatedly. There are over 300 distinct breeds of My Bipolar Disorder. Within' minutes of being born, my Bipolar Disorder is up and walking around. My bipolar disorder used to live in the white house with Abraham Lincoln. One day an ethiopian Herder walked in on My Bipolar Disorder liteally bouncing off of cliff walls because it just Discovered Coffee. My Bipolar Disorder has four stomachs The horns of My Bipolar Disorder are typically removed to reduce injury to humans. My Bipolar disorder will explore anything new or unfamiliar in its surroundings, mainly with its mouth and tongue. My bipolar disorder readily reverts to the wild if given the opportunity. My Bipolar Disorder is more susceptible to Parasites and other infectious diseases when it is mismanaged. My bipolar disorder has had a lingering connection with Satanism and pagan religions My Bipolar Disorder is considered a "clean" animal by jewish dietary laws. According to Zeus As long as you leave it's bones whole, My Bipolar disorder will keep coming back to life.
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23
Today in an overweight society, The type of society that deals anxiety, Anxiety, anxiety, in this overweight society. Today in an overweight society, The type of society where diet pills are a normality, Normality, Normality in an overweight society. Today in the eyes of an underweight tragedy, Influenced so greatly by an overweight society, Tragedy, Tragedy, in an overweight society. Influenced by a society of fatty foods, Fear becoming a more common mood, The fear of falling into the normality The normality of this tragedy. The overweight society. Influence by obesity. Striving to be what their minds see, The minds of the children trapped, Trapped by this overweight society. Influenced by the skinny girls on TV Only followed by ads showing fatty foods society demans you eat Have a cheeseburger, upgrade to a large fry, yet still look like her, it's pounded in her mind. Young minds believe what they see. Morphed into the tragedy of society. A society where eating disorders strive A society where an 8 year old can consious you starve themselve to feel pretty. The definition of pretty based simply on TV Yet nobody questions this more than imperfect society. Elementary ages childern being fed fat then forced to stand in front of a mirror. Put a toy in poison and call it magic. Oh yes, what a fantasy. A fantasy forcing you into reality. The reality becoming your worst nightmare. The reality of your fears driven by society. I'm overweight, yet pizza is the best choice for a happy family. A society where mental illness strives. Why can't people open their eyes? Spoon feeding childern poison and expecting them to love themselves. In school teachers force health into thier minds. At home, parents feed them poison to save time. Re-creating, reprogramming their fragile little minds, yet still expecting them to feel fine. Feeling down? Have a happy meal, gain a pound. Overweight? Shame, shame, you must maintain the image. The image forced into your mind. This was our greatest fall. Upon dieting we call. Skelington stave me. Anorexia at it's finest. Anorexia thin and spineless. Some call you timeless. But only recently you made your debute. Make me feel brand new. Reprogram my mind. Make me feel fine. Thank God for thinsperation. Oh Anorexia, my new inspiration. Make me feel pretty. Just like the skinny girls on TV. Loosing pounds, one by one. Still weighed down by a ton. The weight of pleasing it. The nightmare society created. Influenced by what we see. Finally morphed into the tragedy of the normality of this weight obsessed society.
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Apr 9, 2018
Apr 9, 2018 at 3:44 PM UTC
Weight Obsessed Society
Today in an overweight society, The type of society that deals anxiety, Anxiety, anxiety, in this overweight society. Today in an overweight society, The type of society where diet pills are a normality, Normality, Normality in an overweight society. Today in the eyes of an underweight tragedy, Influenced so greatly by an overweight society, Tragedy, Tragedy, in an overweight society. Influenced by a society of fatty foods, Fear becoming a more common mood, The fear of falling into the normality The normality of this tragedy. The overweight society. Influence by obesity. Striving to be what their minds see, The minds of the children trapped, Trapped by this overweight society. Influenced by the skinny girls on TV Only followed by ads showing fatty foods society demans you eat Have a cheeseburger, upgrade to a large fry, yet still look like her, it's pounded in her mind. Young minds believe what they see. Morphed into the tragedy of society. A society where eating disorders strive A society where an 8 year old can consious you starve themselve to feel pretty. The definition of pretty based simply on TV Yet nobody questions this more than imperfect society. Elementary ages childern being fed fat then forced to stand in front of a mirror. Put a toy in poison and call it magic. Oh yes, what a fantasy. A fantasy forcing you into reality. The reality becoming your worst nightmare. The reality of your fears driven by society. I'm overweight, yet pizza is the best choice for a happy family. A society where mental illness strives. Why can't people open their eyes? Spoon feeding childern poison and expecting them to love themselves. In school teachers force health into thier minds. At home, parents feed them poison to save time. Re-creating, reprogramming their fragile little minds, yet still expecting them to feel fine. Feeling down? Have a happy meal, gain a pound. Overweight? Shame, shame, you must maintain the image. The image forced into your mind. This was our greatest fall. Upon dieting we call. Skelington stave me. Anorexia at it's finest. Anorexia thin and spineless. Some call you timeless. But only recently you made your debute. Make me feel brand new. Reprogram my mind. Make me feel fine. Thank God for thinsperation. Oh Anorexia, my new inspiration. Make me feel pretty. Just like the skinny girls on TV. Loosing pounds, one by one. Still weighed down by a ton. The weight of pleasing it. The nightmare society created. Influenced by what we see. Finally morphed into the tragedy of the normality of this weight obsessed society.
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65
On whether technology has influenced the seeming rise in mental health issues: The concept of technology as separate than Nature is impossible to pin down, but to say that a lifetime of social pressures, advertising, television, and processed and genetically altered foodstuffs would not affect what the brain is used to, and what is was designed to do, is a non sequitur. Certainly an entirely separate set of influences also had negative consequences in the brains' of pre-man, but these were not of his own making, as he still lived in an organic environment, and therefore wasn't a part of the "feedback loop" we have going on with humans becoming the products of a man-made environment (one of the only things that sets us apart from most the animal kingdom). Either way, whatever you're doing you're getting better at it, so with the increase in time spent on the web and watching TV we are increasingly better at watching other people - being passive, non-accountable, constantly comparative and self-obsessed, impotent in light of the mass of information constantly flooding towards you - which the brain was not originally intended for. This seems obvious. So the fact that some people have things like crippling anxiety and OCD, or develop anti-social disorders and the like, seems like a logical result produced by a system (the brain) presented with new and inorganic conditions. On top of that, being a non-douche is naturally and evolutionarily based because it increases the likelihood that others will want to chilll'n'stuff and help you when you need it, but when transposed onto a crowded, fast-paced modernity it twists into something like flattery and competition to appear the most altruistic.
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Sep 18, 2012
Sep 18, 2012 at 11:45 AM UTC
Technology and Mental Health
On whether technology has influenced the seeming rise in mental health issues: The concept of technology as separate than Nature is impossible to pin down, but to say that a lifetime of social pressures, advertising, television, and processed and genetically altered foodstuffs would not affect what the brain is used to, and what is was designed to do, is a non sequitur. Certainly an entirely separate set of influences also had negative consequences in the brains' of pre-man, but these were not of his own making, as he still lived in an organic environment, and therefore wasn't a part of the "feedback loop" we have going on with humans becoming the products of a man-made environment (one of the only things that sets us apart from most the animal kingdom). Either way, whatever you're doing you're getting better at it, so with the increase in time spent on the web and watching TV we are increasingly better at watching other people - being passive, non-accountable, constantly comparative and self-obsessed, impotent in light of the mass of information constantly flooding towards you - which the brain was not originally intended for. This seems obvious. So the fact that some people have things like crippling anxiety and OCD, or develop anti-social disorders and the like, seems like a logical result produced by a system (the brain) presented with new and inorganic conditions. On top of that, being a non-douche is naturally and evolutionarily based because it increases the likelihood that others will want to chilll'n'stuff and help you when you need it, but when transposed onto a crowded, fast-paced modernity it twists into something like flattery and competition to appear the most altruistic.
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1
My dad says that my generation lacks common sense, but millennials are well on our way to being the most educated generation ever. We're demonized for idolizing Beyonce' and Nicki Minaj, but wasn't the generation before us obsessed with a heroin-addicted cynic who did nothing to improve the world? The number of people with eating disorders, depression, and anxiety are higher than they've ever been. But lord forbid we take a ******* selfie and love ourselves for that brief moment. My generation may not be perfect, but old people's complaints about us are getting really old. After all, they're the ones that ****** everything up for us in the first place.
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Jan 3, 2015
Jan 3, 2015 at 8:29 PM UTC
Millennials
We haven't talked in awhile Your voice like silk Bringing a smile with it Something I haven't done for months I talk to you on Twitter The bird a messenger to our secret conversation Every time a white message box pops up Every time I get a notification from you My heart skips a beat For every word you write, every sentence Is worth the couple seconds it takes to read We have a lot in common We both have eating disorders That couldn't be more different We love the same music As we rock out on Facetime And laugh at my shyness and stupidity Yet without social media We would have never met. I would never have smiled. I would never have lived.
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Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015 at 2:39 PM UTC
Social Media
You say, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” but I say surely something must taste nicer than the burning acid being forced back up your throat. Why not hug people instead of toilet bowls? At least they’ll hug back. Except Mia is your only friend now. And her cousin, Ana, of course. And I understand that you never wanted to die, but this is a thousand ton truck hurtling towards the edge of a cliff and Ana took the wheel a long time ago. There is no strength in this: in you, in a fear of calories. Even your bones creak as your muscles sigh with exhaustion - for this, is not a war you're winning. This is a battle with only one contender and I will not be the one to disarm you. That's your job and it always has been. I know you only wanted to be beautiful like all those stars in the magazines you saved under a file titled ‘thinspo’ but the only stars you ever saw were in your eyes from the dizziness and to tell you the truth, you are not pretty. For there is nothing “pretty” about the layer of fuzz your body grew to protect itself from the big bad wolf when really, the only growl was coming from inside your stomach. Or how your little sister is afraid to touch, let alone hug you, in fear of snapping you in two. For there is no glamour in having to remove clumps of hair out of the plughole at least six times whilst having a shower, just to let the water run down. Or that one time you "accidentally” took too many laxatives. Messy. There is nothing admirable about the way you sat shivering on your bed at night instead of kissing boys, or dancing, or eating ice cream. There is nothing to be marvelled at in dying. This, is not a life to be lived. God, this isn't even a life. This is being a slave to your own body, a walking zombie, a ghost stuck between two sides. You are not alive. But it was all still worth it, right? Slowly killing yourself from the inside out. A small price to pay for perfection, a bargain for a broken mirror; for a half-written book with 97 blank pages, a camera that only captures in black and white, a clock with frozen hands. And most importantly, for a peace of mind you never received. No refunds.
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Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 11:59 AM UTC
the ugly side to eating disorders
You say, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” but I say surely something must taste nicer than the burning acid being forced back up your throat. Why not hug people instead of toilet bowls? At least they’ll hug back. Except Mia is your only friend now. And her cousin, Ana, of course. And I understand that you never wanted to die, but this is a thousand ton truck hurtling towards the edge of a cliff and Ana took the wheel a long time ago. There is no strength in this: in you, in a fear of calories. Even your bones creak as your muscles sigh with exhaustion - for this, is not a war you're winning. This is a battle with only one contender and I will not be the one to disarm you. That's your job and it always has been. I know you only wanted to be beautiful like all those stars in the magazines you saved under a file titled ‘thinspo’ but the only stars you ever saw were in your eyes from the dizziness and to tell you the truth, you are not pretty. For there is nothing “pretty” about the layer of fuzz your body grew to protect itself from the big bad wolf when really, the only growl was coming from inside your stomach. Or how your little sister is afraid to touch, let alone hug you, in fear of snapping you in two. For there is no glamour in having to remove clumps of hair out of the plughole at least six times whilst having a shower, just to let the water run down. Or that one time you "accidentally” took too many laxatives. Messy. There is nothing admirable about the way you sat shivering on your bed at night instead of kissing boys, or dancing, or eating ice cream. There is nothing to be marvelled at in dying. This, is not a life to be lived. God, this isn't even a life. This is being a slave to your own body, a walking zombie, a ghost stuck between two sides. You are not alive. But it was all still worth it, right? Slowly killing yourself from the inside out. A small price to pay for perfection, a bargain for a broken mirror; for a half-written book with 97 blank pages, a camera that only captures in black and white, a clock with frozen hands. And most importantly, for a peace of mind you never received. No refunds.
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63
Once again I can’t sleep Death’s scythe grasps me And the voices, the people Inside my head they creep They lurk in dark corners Of the room, and my mind I hide under disorders From their malevolent bind I know I can’t hide, for they see me when I’m there Running is pointless, they’re with me everywhere. Quitting is sole escape, from pain and sorrow; The life once mine, is one I daily borrow.
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Apr 1, 2014
Apr 1, 2014 at 5:01 PM UTC
Für Cupcake
8th grade. That was the year everything went to hell. That was the year I went on a diet. I decided to shed my last shred of dignity, along with 60+ pounds in order to impress the boy with the dark, curly hair. That was the year I lied to my parents. "Did you eat dinner?" they asked. "Yes," I replied, and they believed me. They couldn't tell that something wasn't quite right with their perfect little girl, who was starving for the perfect body, and for attention from the boy with the dark, curly hair. That was the year teachers began to ask questions. Mr. May, with the spiky hair and burly arms, glanced suspiciously at my pale skin, eerily translucent and decorated with bruises. Mrs. Fitz, who had recently been on a diet herself, always made sure that I had a lunch, although she never made sure I ate it. Mrs. ***** a small woman with a big personality, used to make comments about eating disorders just to get a rise out of me, and when that didn't work, she went a step farther. Mr. Daley, the 7th and 8th grade guidance counselor, consumed every lie I fed him, and when I grabbed a Jolly Rancher off his desk on my way back to class, he smiled with triumph, as if he had cured me, but he didn't see me throw it away as soon as I got home. Those extra 15 calories would have ruined my chances with the boy with the dark, curly hair. That was the year I couldn't leave the house without a sweater because, even on the warmest day, I couldn't stop shivering. That was the year all of my hair fell out. That was the year I lost most of my friends. That was the year everything went to hell because of a boy with dark, curly hair.
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Jun 9, 2013
Jun 9, 2013 at 10:48 AM UTC
The Boy with the Dark, Curly Hair
8th grade. That was the year everything went to hell. That was the year I went on a diet. I decided to shed my last shred of dignity, along with 60+ pounds in order to impress the boy with the dark, curly hair. That was the year I lied to my parents. "Did you eat dinner?" they asked. "Yes," I replied, and they believed me. They couldn't tell that something wasn't quite right with their perfect little girl, who was starving for the perfect body, and for attention from the boy with the dark, curly hair. That was the year teachers began to ask questions. Mr. May, with the spiky hair and burly arms, glanced suspiciously at my pale skin, eerily translucent and decorated with bruises. Mrs. Fitz, who had recently been on a diet herself, always made sure that I had a lunch, although she never made sure I ate it. Mrs. ***** a small woman with a big personality, used to make comments about eating disorders just to get a rise out of me, and when that didn't work, she went a step farther. Mr. Daley, the 7th and 8th grade guidance counselor, consumed every lie I fed him, and when I grabbed a Jolly Rancher off his desk on my way back to class, he smiled with triumph, as if he had cured me, but he didn't see me throw it away as soon as I got home. Those extra 15 calories would have ruined my chances with the boy with the dark, curly hair. That was the year I couldn't leave the house without a sweater because, even on the warmest day, I couldn't stop shivering. That was the year all of my hair fell out. That was the year I lost most of my friends. That was the year everything went to hell because of a boy with dark, curly hair.
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46
How many more children have to die before we stop believing the lie that America is safe and America is great and that we all live under the rule of a really great guy? Before all our children don't need to vie just to survive going to school and coming out again alive? Before mental disorders stop being the brunt end of a joke and that maybe there might be hope that those who suffer don't have to walk on a tightrope? What about when we can start living in harmony? When we stop judging others and start shunning dishonorary acts of violence acts of hate and acts of crime before it's to late? How many more children have to die? How many? How many? How many? How many??? -Spider
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May 10, 2019
May 10, 2019 at 11:29 PM UTC
How Many?
Dissociation: noun the disconnection or separation of something from something else or the state of being disconnected. CHEMISTRY the splitting of a molecule into smaller molecules, atoms, or ions, especially by a reversible process. PSYCHIATRY separation of normally related mental processes, resulting in one group functioning independently from the rest, leading in extreme cases to disorders such as multiple personality. Dissociation is not trendy. It’s not just depression or starring into space. It’s so much more It’s crawling away form reality and making a home in your head. Losing contact with your body. Dissociation is not knowing who you are. Dissociation is watching yourself in third person. Dissociation is feeling so scared that you’d rather loose yourself entirely then live in the present. Dissociation is not always multiple personalities but sometimes no personality. It’s losing time. It’s not recognizing those you love. It’s having little to no memory of anything that happened after the fifth grade. its knowing faces but not exactly sure where from. It’s a defense mechanism. It’s writing your name on the back of your hand to not completely lose all of you. 
It’s wearing a rubber band to snap yourself back because you have taught yourself to know when you are losing yourself It’s getting help, because you know in your very few lucid moments that this is not normal.
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May 10, 2017
May 10, 2017 at 9:37 AM UTC
Dissociation
Who's your father? John Doe Who's your father? The government Who's your mother? Borderline personality disorder What's wrong with your mother? Sinful thoughts of the abused Disorders and John Doe
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Jan 19, 2015
Jan 19, 2015 at 3:57 PM UTC
John Doe
Whiteness a ghost Ghosts with dissociative disorders Can’t touch each other Justify genocide Wreck less organized Silence In between nuclear explosions But I’m bumping Oliver lake louder Yelling whiteness is a dissociative disorder That was forced to happen Still pressuring Forcing I thought we danced away These dissociative ghosts already Telling us to turn it down
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Aug 28, 2018
Aug 28, 2018 at 9:20 PM UTC
dissociative ghosts
Ive been fat my entire life. Things I've tried. B12. Eating disorders Bulimia Obsessive exercise Dieting Not dieting Throwing up I'm less fat now My ribs don't show I wish they would though.
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Sep 7, 2015
Sep 7, 2015 at 3:13 PM UTC
Laughs for Twinkies
I can't even remember how it started... Drifting from who I was, My normal just slowly departed from me. Foggy glimpses of the boy I used to be. Ripping through the last shreds of my humanity, Right on the edge of insanity, I'm not but a shadow of what, and who I was, Can you guess what was the cause? As time goes on, I am more and more losing myself, Turning absolutely insane, there is now no sense of self. I'm starting to be really bloodthirsty. As time goes on, I more and more want to hurt somebody, Physically. I want to feel something, anything! I'm slowly losing my sanity, It's getting real hard to keep myself from breaking the limits, Of this society we live in! But can you blame me? I just want to feel excited, Happy, Have a geniune smile on my **** face. Do you comprehend An existence like mine, Where you feel nothing? While people around you find happiness, And joy, In things that mean nothing to you? I've been resisting my urges for a while, But I'm slowly getting out of control, Nothing can make me whole. Things are gonna get real ugly, Real soon. Therapy won't help this insane existence of mine. Trust me, they tried, and tried. Phsychologists, psychiatrists, 5 types of antidepressants, A bunch of relaxants, And diagnosis of many, many mental disorders. Nothing could get me back in order, I guess they were too late, I already crossed all sane borders. Yup... For years, to no avail. Go on, mock me, say I'm insane; But it's your kind that did this to me. But please, watch your tongue, Words are hurtful. Hush now, won't you stay a while? Join me with a painted smile. Tragic faces, Stationed at my bedside, Warm embraces, While I'm hollow on the inside. Their eyes betray them, This is only a painted smile. After my attempts, People just wouldn't buy my painted smiles, So they tried, and tried, Everything they could think of. Religion, mental hospitals, therapy, and medication... If only they knew what a monster I try to keep inside every day, Will their opinions change that day, Will they regret it when I unleash the beast inside? So 'till the day I tear myself from the inside, Won't you join me with a painted smile?
0
Aug 17, 2018
Aug 17, 2018 at 3:10 PM UTC
I am going crazy.
I can't even remember how it started... Drifting from who I was, My normal just slowly departed from me. Foggy glimpses of the boy I used to be. Ripping through the last shreds of my humanity, Right on the edge of insanity, I'm not but a shadow of what, and who I was, Can you guess what was the cause? As time goes on, I am more and more losing myself, Turning absolutely insane, there is now no sense of self. I'm starting to be really bloodthirsty. As time goes on, I more and more want to hurt somebody, Physically. I want to feel something, anything! I'm slowly losing my sanity, It's getting real hard to keep myself from breaking the limits, Of this society we live in! But can you blame me? I just want to feel excited, Happy, Have a geniune smile on my **** face. Do you comprehend An existence like mine, Where you feel nothing? While people around you find happiness, And joy, In things that mean nothing to you? I've been resisting my urges for a while, But I'm slowly getting out of control, Nothing can make me whole. Things are gonna get real ugly, Real soon. Therapy won't help this insane existence of mine. Trust me, they tried, and tried. Phsychologists, psychiatrists, 5 types of antidepressants, A bunch of relaxants, And diagnosis of many, many mental disorders. Nothing could get me back in order, I guess they were too late, I already crossed all sane borders. Yup... For years, to no avail. Go on, mock me, say I'm insane; But it's your kind that did this to me. But please, watch your tongue, Words are hurtful. Hush now, won't you stay a while? Join me with a painted smile. Tragic faces, Stationed at my bedside, Warm embraces, While I'm hollow on the inside. Their eyes betray them, This is only a painted smile. After my attempts, People just wouldn't buy my painted smiles, So they tried, and tried, Everything they could think of. Religion, mental hospitals, therapy, and medication... If only they knew what a monster I try to keep inside every day, Will their opinions change that day, Will they regret it when I unleash the beast inside? So 'till the day I tear myself from the inside, Won't you join me with a painted smile?
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65
I don’t write the things I write because they sound beautiful, I write them because I actually feel and think them and this is my way of getting my thoughts out. 
I am so sick of people glorifying selfharm and eating disorders… Honestly this site disgusts me at times, girls thinking they need to be troubled to fit in, that it is cool to stick your fingers in your throat and hug the toilet daily…
no no no Having your thighs touch does not mean you are fat, it means that your hip structure is wider than others’. 
Having scars does not mean you are mysterious and interesting, it means you have secrets, struggles you wanted to get out but couldn’t. Scars are nothing to be proud of, you may be proud of the fact that they are scars and not wounds anymore, but showing them off is just sick. 
Please believe me that having a bigger size than your friend doesn’t make you fat, it makes you different. Which is good. There is no such thing as ugly or fat, there is only beauty which has a very wide definition. But the bigger part of that definition goes back to one thing; happiness. stop glorifying troubles and making it seem cool to have them, you are not a freak if you feel happy, for one, you are lucky. Go ahead and feel happy. Let it scare you, smile so wide your cheeks hurt. That’s what it’s all about.
0
Dec 22, 2014
Dec 22, 2014 at 5:05 AM UTC
rant
Depersonalization Derealization Dissociation Delusional Hallucinations Confabulation Perseveration persevered. Clanging Rhyming Echolalia echolalia. Paranoia Ideas of reference Thought blocking Internal stimuli Thought broadcasting heard every way every day. Mental disorders or poets extraordinary The Paiute anthropologist locked up on the inpatient unit with visions of the ancestors dancing in his eyes said "See these folks you have locked up, In ancient days from the desert hills they came our way delivered truths in their special way. "Once they had their say On desert winds they blew back up to their hills away straight away. " "Can you please give me the keys. I've said what I had to say. "
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Apr 11, 2015
Apr 11, 2015 at 10:04 AM UTC
Keeping One's Distance/ The Poetry of Madness
There’s a lot to be said for this place. A near-perfect pitch for diversity, Diversity: a neurolinguistic term; A quaint way to say: miscegenation. No, just kidding; I meant the melting *** A fine blend of Anglo, Hispanic & Indian blood— That’s Pueblo & Plains Indian blood-- Not that **** masala, chapati & dal Indian blood. My apologies to "Who's the White Guy?" Bobby Jindal. New Mexico: “The Land of Enchantment.” Where 310 sunny days per annum, Are like money in the bank, earning Double-plus compound interest for those Suffering with seasonal affective disorders. A land of sunshine without the orange juice, But substitute chili, red or green? An equitable offset to be sure. 310 days of sunshine: Even the white people are brown here. Which does a lot for my self-esteem. Back east—New York, Chicago & Philadelphia e.g.— People that look like me, i.e., People with dark brown hair, eyes and skin, Get stopped/ass-cheek spread/& frisked, routinely. Stop & Frisk: NYPD’s spectator sport for decades. Stop & Frisk: Mayor Bloomberg-defended Crime-stopping Godsend, Getting guns off the streets. Getting homicides down. Everything’s cool until some slick race baiter, Starts yelling: RACIAL PROFILING. Forget for a moment that people that look like me, People like me with dark hair, eyes & skin, Commit 78% of the crime in most cities. “It’s not racially driven profiling,” Said Newark’s police director recently Referring to stops carried out by his officers. “IT’S CRIME-DRIVEN PROFILING!” But, again, political-correctness trumps common sense: August 2013: Judge Rules NYPD Stop-and-Frisk Unconstitutional. Well I’ll be a monkey’s *** ****** I moved to New Mexico to blend in. My complexion a shoe-in for The Witness Protection Program or Any other public or private, Domestic or international rendition site. But I digress. New Mexico: no passport necessary, Babaloo! New Mexico: be you white or black, Hispanic or Indian, Or even Roswell extraterrestrial, The cops here will beat the **** out of you. Or shoot you dead, Kemosabe.
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Feb 7, 2015
Feb 7, 2015 at 1:44 PM UTC
"Let Me Hip You to the Land of Enchantment"
There’s a lot to be said for this place. A near-perfect pitch for diversity, Diversity: a neurolinguistic term; A quaint way to say: miscegenation. No, just kidding; I meant the melting *** A fine blend of Anglo, Hispanic & Indian blood— That’s Pueblo & Plains Indian blood-- Not that **** masala, chapati & dal Indian blood. My apologies to "Who's the White Guy?" Bobby Jindal. New Mexico: “The Land of Enchantment.” Where 310 sunny days per annum, Are like money in the bank, earning Double-plus compound interest for those Suffering with seasonal affective disorders. A land of sunshine without the orange juice, But substitute chili, red or green? An equitable offset to be sure. 310 days of sunshine: Even the white people are brown here. Which does a lot for my self-esteem. Back east—New York, Chicago & Philadelphia e.g.— People that look like me, i.e., People with dark brown hair, eyes and skin, Get stopped/ass-cheek spread/& frisked, routinely. Stop & Frisk: NYPD’s spectator sport for decades. Stop & Frisk: Mayor Bloomberg-defended Crime-stopping Godsend, Getting guns off the streets. Getting homicides down. Everything’s cool until some slick race baiter, Starts yelling: RACIAL PROFILING. Forget for a moment that people that look like me, People like me with dark hair, eyes & skin, Commit 78% of the crime in most cities. “It’s not racially driven profiling,” Said Newark’s police director recently Referring to stops carried out by his officers. “IT’S CRIME-DRIVEN PROFILING!” But, again, political-correctness trumps common sense: August 2013: Judge Rules NYPD Stop-and-Frisk Unconstitutional. Well I’ll be a monkey’s *** ****** I moved to New Mexico to blend in. My complexion a shoe-in for The Witness Protection Program or Any other public or private, Domestic or international rendition site. But I digress. New Mexico: no passport necessary, Babaloo! New Mexico: be you white or black, Hispanic or Indian, Or even Roswell extraterrestrial, The cops here will beat the **** out of you. Or shoot you dead, Kemosabe.
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Dear Talia, I don't want to be a tortured artist. I don't want to be depressed and I don't want to be anxious. Competitive sadness and disorders treated like accessories disgust me. The world glamorizes mental illness, and I don't understand why. There is nothing romantic about being mentally ill just like how there's nothing glamorous about a broken wrist or a torn medial collateral ligament. There's nothing romantic about constantly being afraid that the world will fold in itself and **** you with it. There's nothing romantic about feeling like you could break down and cry at any moment. This is the first piece I've written while being medicated. I want it to be Christmas already. The world dreams itself a halo, but can only attain horns. The halo is an illusion and the horns are an idea. I'm due to take another Lorazepam. Would I look cool to the kids who idolize dysfunction and misinterpret pain as style, if I were to take one of these, with water and a distant glance, in front of them? Geez, to have their approval would to have everything and nothing at all. I'm not sure why I've written as much about this as I have. You. It is 2:48 am and all I can think about, in this moment, is you. I can't wait to spend Christmas with you. I can't wait to wear bad Christmas sweaters, and be the couple everyone hates, as we sing Christmas carols and spread holiday cheer. I wrote this poem a few minutes ago. Sometime around 2:30 am. I'm not sure. I'm exhausted: I sat on the edge of my bed, and on the edge of my life, medicated to the point of pointlessness. Soft. It was the nineteenth, not the twentieth, and I wished I saw the fireworks with her fifteen days earlier. My gasps tore the shingles off of the house. And they hung suspended above the hole in the roof. And God stared down into my room, as the shingles swirled skyward. "I see you," I said, "but I don't believe in you." I left home and ran until I was a dream that had passed itself. I hope that was okay. I love you. Yours, Joshua Haines
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Jul 20, 2014
Jul 20, 2014 at 2:56 AM UTC
July 20, 2014
Dear Talia, I don't want to be a tortured artist. I don't want to be depressed and I don't want to be anxious. Competitive sadness and disorders treated like accessories disgust me. The world glamorizes mental illness, and I don't understand why. There is nothing romantic about being mentally ill just like how there's nothing glamorous about a broken wrist or a torn medial collateral ligament. There's nothing romantic about constantly being afraid that the world will fold in itself and **** you with it. There's nothing romantic about feeling like you could break down and cry at any moment. This is the first piece I've written while being medicated. I want it to be Christmas already. The world dreams itself a halo, but can only attain horns. The halo is an illusion and the horns are an idea. I'm due to take another Lorazepam. Would I look cool to the kids who idolize dysfunction and misinterpret pain as style, if I were to take one of these, with water and a distant glance, in front of them? Geez, to have their approval would to have everything and nothing at all. I'm not sure why I've written as much about this as I have. You. It is 2:48 am and all I can think about, in this moment, is you. I can't wait to spend Christmas with you. I can't wait to wear bad Christmas sweaters, and be the couple everyone hates, as we sing Christmas carols and spread holiday cheer. I wrote this poem a few minutes ago. Sometime around 2:30 am. I'm not sure. I'm exhausted: I sat on the edge of my bed, and on the edge of my life, medicated to the point of pointlessness. Soft. It was the nineteenth, not the twentieth, and I wished I saw the fireworks with her fifteen days earlier. My gasps tore the shingles off of the house. And they hung suspended above the hole in the roof. And God stared down into my room, as the shingles swirled skyward. "I see you," I said, "but I don't believe in you." I left home and ran until I was a dream that had passed itself. I hope that was okay. I love you. Yours, Joshua Haines
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In Latin, verging on double dutch, names for psychological disorders are sheep in wolves' clothing, let me resort to plain language; invited to her harem, a rare privilege, quickly I found she has, what I would happily  call, "Manic Obsessive Lingerie Acquisition Disorder"
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Aug 22, 2012
Aug 22, 2012 at 11:26 PM UTC
Lingerie psychosis (MOLAD)
in the beginning of my first year of high school, i was the girl with messy hair who tried to off herself in summer's past, the one with tired eyes who skipped lunch despite empty stomachs feeling heavier, the freshman with open wounds grazing the veins in her arms who sprinted out of classrooms due to the sporadic nature of panic attacks. i'd like to say that i've transitioned out of the cocoon of panic disorders and ptsd and depression, but somehow, the butterfly wings haven't grown in yet.
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Nov 10, 2014
Nov 10, 2014 at 7:04 PM UTC
i am not a butterfly
the way mental health is treated really bothers me, you shouldn’t want to be depressed or anxious because you think its trendy or fun. disorders are not adjectives you can just spew out at your leisure, they are real things that hurt people and ruin lives. you shouldn’t fear telling your friends, your parents, your lover, that you might have a serious problem, that you are worried about yourself. you’re not sick or broken, you might need help but that doesn’t make you a bad person, right? you shouldn’t be scared to see a doctor, to see someone that can help you, simply because you don’t want to be characterized as: "they just couldn’t handle the pressure", "why are you doing this to us?", "you just want attention", the walking freak show. with all your faults, character flaws, every cell and every misconnected neuron, you are still a human being.
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Jan 10, 2014
Jan 10, 2014 at 1:34 AM UTC
Mental Health Day
eating disorders are so hard to                   Kick because your eating disorder becomes your closest most                      honest most              Vicious friend. your eating disorder will never abandon you. it will never ignore you it will never leave         you                                           ALONE at the End of the day, it’s just you and her. and I say {HER} because mine is a real ***** your eating disorder is always there to                      whisper-scream in your          ear. always there to swim in your aching(empty)(toofull)                     stomach to claw at your skull to break your heart. she, my vicious friend, comforts me. because even though I’m being                destroyed                ripped apart at least I’m not alone. hell, she even gives me an excuse as to WHY I am                          alone itsnotmeitsmyweightnoonecouldeverwantafatgirl itsnotmeitsmyweightthatkeepspeoplefromgettingclosefromLOVINGme She knows me better than anyone— knows how b                                                                 r                                                                    o                                                                k                                                                       e                                                                   n i am. as much as I ‘recover’ she is there— curled under my brain matter like a troll in a fairy tale. she is there waiting watching counting smiling because i always come back.
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Nov 12, 2012
Nov 12, 2012 at 5:19 PM UTC
to my most vicious friend.
eating disorders are so hard to                   Kick because your eating disorder becomes your closest most                      honest most              Vicious friend. your eating disorder will never abandon you. it will never ignore you it will never leave         you                                           ALONE at the End of the day, it’s just you and her. and I say {HER} because mine is a real ***** your eating disorder is always there to                      whisper-scream in your          ear. always there to swim in your aching(empty)(toofull)                     stomach to claw at your skull to break your heart. she, my vicious friend, comforts me. because even though I’m being                destroyed                ripped apart at least I’m not alone. hell, she even gives me an excuse as to WHY I am                          alone itsnotmeitsmyweightnoonecouldeverwantafatgirl itsnotmeitsmyweightthatkeepspeoplefromgettingclosefromLOVINGme She knows me better than anyone— knows how b                                                                 r                                                                    o                                                                k                                                                       e                                                                   n i am. as much as I ‘recover’ she is there— curled under my brain matter like a troll in a fairy tale. she is there waiting watching counting smiling because i always come back.
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Congratulations Your mom would've been so proud Instead of going the socially unacceptable route of drugs and eating disorders You went the slightly-more-acceptable route of disconnection, isolation, pain and emptiness Just like she did Except without the drugs. So as long as you're not burdening any of us And as long as we're happy with one word answers when we ask about your well being Go ahead and cry on your floor like you always do No one will bother you Because you have a degree and a job. Who cares about how you really feel? You've done so well going through so much. Congratulations.
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Aug 10, 2014
Aug 10, 2014 at 2:25 AM UTC
Congratulations
There are boys that cry, There are girls who have dry eyes. There are boys that dance or play volleyball, There are girls that wrestle or play football. There are boys who drive VW Bugs, There are girls that drive trucks. There are boys that bake, There are girls that shred. There are boys that like the Notebook, There are girls that like Transformers. There are boys that are romantics at heart, looking for love, There are girls that aren't into flowers or love songs. There are boys with hair to their knees, There are girls with shaved heads. There are boys with diaries and journals full of memories, There are girls who have no desire to write down all the details. There are boys with names like Aubry, There are girls with names like Sam. There are boys with insecurities about their bodies, There are girls who don't weigh themselves ever. There are boys with eating disorders, There are girls who work out for the ideal 6 pack. There are boys that prep endlessly for a date, There are girls who take 5 minutes to get out the door. There are tidy, neat boys, There are messy, whirlwind girls. There are boys in dresses, There are girls in baggy jeans and a pullover. There are boys who shop endlessly, There are girls who can't stand the mall. There are boys that talk about their emotions, There are girls who would rather not. There are boys that look after the kids, There are girls that work full-time. There are boys who are nurses, There are girls who are engineers. There are boys who cook, There are girls that change the oil in the car. There are boys who are complacent and subordinate, There are girls who are dominant and overpowering. There are boys with no desire to get it in on the first date, And there are some girls who wouldn't mind if they do. And those are all okay. Gender stereotyping only limits what you can and can't do. Let the boys cry and write poetry and eat chocolate when they're sad and talk about their feelings. Let the girls be aggressive and wrestle their buddies and play ball and drive sports cars. Let people do as they please. You're born as you a are, you can't decide what gender you are. You can decide what you do with your gender though, or rather what it won't keep you from doing. Your gender is only an aspect of who you are, don't let it dictate your actions to appease a society that has deemed what is and is not okay for you to do simply because you're either a guy or girl. There are boys and girls that can grow up to be what they please, do as they wish and speak as they will. Don't be the one to tell them otherwise.
0
Nov 26, 2013
Nov 26, 2013 at 1:00 AM UTC
There are boys, there are girls
There are boys that cry, There are girls who have dry eyes. There are boys that dance or play volleyball, There are girls that wrestle or play football. There are boys who drive VW Bugs, There are girls that drive trucks. There are boys that bake, There are girls that shred. There are boys that like the Notebook, There are girls that like Transformers. There are boys that are romantics at heart, looking for love, There are girls that aren't into flowers or love songs. There are boys with hair to their knees, There are girls with shaved heads. There are boys with diaries and journals full of memories, There are girls who have no desire to write down all the details. There are boys with names like Aubry, There are girls with names like Sam. There are boys with insecurities about their bodies, There are girls who don't weigh themselves ever. There are boys with eating disorders, There are girls who work out for the ideal 6 pack. There are boys that prep endlessly for a date, There are girls who take 5 minutes to get out the door. There are tidy, neat boys, There are messy, whirlwind girls. There are boys in dresses, There are girls in baggy jeans and a pullover. There are boys who shop endlessly, There are girls who can't stand the mall. There are boys that talk about their emotions, There are girls who would rather not. There are boys that look after the kids, There are girls that work full-time. There are boys who are nurses, There are girls who are engineers. There are boys who cook, There are girls that change the oil in the car. There are boys who are complacent and subordinate, There are girls who are dominant and overpowering. There are boys with no desire to get it in on the first date, And there are some girls who wouldn't mind if they do. And those are all okay. Gender stereotyping only limits what you can and can't do. Let the boys cry and write poetry and eat chocolate when they're sad and talk about their feelings. Let the girls be aggressive and wrestle their buddies and play ball and drive sports cars. Let people do as they please. You're born as you a are, you can't decide what gender you are. You can decide what you do with your gender though, or rather what it won't keep you from doing. Your gender is only an aspect of who you are, don't let it dictate your actions to appease a society that has deemed what is and is not okay for you to do simply because you're either a guy or girl. There are boys and girls that can grow up to be what they please, do as they wish and speak as they will. Don't be the one to tell them otherwise.
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