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"dialing" poems
the planets. the peaches. pruned. picked. for the reaches. the centuries. a second to the eternities. you can have it. say laugh when. you hear the jazz note. the voice of all that i spoke. the saxophone. like dialing digits of truth. on the telephone. come on. say one and two. up and down. the diversity in one single crown. upon the ears of sound. it's the heart's listening device. toss it like rice. at a wedding. human genes get paired up. and twisted. so simple. it comes in flavors of licorice. red and black. off and on. check the track. when the needle skips. we find all these differences. let me bring it back. for diversity. zeroes and ones. spread the spectrum. across high and low frequencies. it's so easy. let the record speak. can you stay on beat. the principles of the high. the sincerity of the meek. whatever lies between. is one or the other. blended across the centuries. and all mothers. give birth to the last. man to the first. follow that. discussion of high low. mid ranges get blown. saxophone pace the flow. get pricked by the tweeters. soul from the bass feeders. save the appetite. for the words that i write. and then speak. you you. not me. splitting hairs. atoms. quarks. and light. beams. like a smile. across a broad spectrum. either off. always on. high low. then get gone.
0
Oct 3, 2014
Oct 3, 2014 at 10:18 PM UTC
diversity
Tossing and turning, sleep evades me The thought of her pure dress As I sip my warm white tea My love becomes less and less My eyes shall not close To be filled with desires which are false Dreams that make me smile Fall into a deep trial I desire hate This love is a curse To want a ***** as a mate Wealth filled purse I give everything I want something Phone in hand dialing Nick Caraway I love you is what I say
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Jan 7, 2015
Jan 7, 2015 at 11:19 PM UTC
Nick and Gatsby
I know a girl who's hurting, But you don't see her cry or pout. In fact, you'd never know it was her Unless I pointed her out. She tries so hard to keep on smiling, To hide her noose and gun. But inside, I know she's dialing Her depression's 911. All that you can see her as Is happy, skinny, tall. But long before you knew her, Her hopes had begun to fall. There's still some left of what she was. Independent, Loving, and Strong. But there's only so much you can do to cope, When you've been so sad for so long. You'd never know she cuts herself For every sorrow she keeps. You'd never know that every night, She cries herself to sleep. You still think she's so happy? You haven't reached your goal. Instead of listening to the stories she tells, Try listening to her soul.
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May 3, 2016
May 3, 2016 at 10:59 AM UTC
Invisible Wounds
My friend and I talk about it Neighborhood got decimated this year One after another the corners of community are gone We touch the elder memories as one might touch a head in blessing as loved ones pass We linger longest over John Found dead after ten hot days by other-worldly hazmat crew flanked by cruisers with their special, yellow truck and zipper bags ...found 'im glasses folded neatly on the night stand in his jammies all tucked into bed No one thought it strange that strange young guy would die already decomposing in his head Lost among his personal effects his fleet of rusting cars and half-assed projects Deck tacked to garage his herds of “pets” Easy to pretend he wasn't really there between jail stints or some imagined threat or theft of crap haunted by the shadows of his persecutors caught in motion lights and cameras' blinding evidence of jungle-jumble and malfunctioning alarms going off in the wind Everyone's out to get his stuff We could dismiss him-- mostly sorta ...except for times he mowed his grass at night or hand-built “the lunatic tower” just for mom from scavenged scraps and hammered hours power-sawed through the housing codes and horror of the neighbors... ...Such a special spectacle... ******* crazy-- John! He was enough for one day at a time like when he flung that threatening bolder on bilco doors for percussive effect "Get off my fuckin' property!” (not using his “inside voice") “Next time, that'll be your head!! He announces his intent to not get mad, behave himself to call the cops on me instead Fake-dialing While his mother screams in dread “John is off his meds!” My phone is set to speed dial 911 ____ “How did we miss this? How did we not miss him those quiet days?” How we miss him now How quiet
0
Sep 17, 2018
Sep 17, 2018 at 4:18 PM UTC
Every Neighborhood Has One
My friend and I talk about it Neighborhood got decimated this year One after another the corners of community are gone We touch the elder memories as one might touch a head in blessing as loved ones pass We linger longest over John Found dead after ten hot days by other-worldly hazmat crew flanked by cruisers with their special, yellow truck and zipper bags ...found 'im glasses folded neatly on the night stand in his jammies all tucked into bed No one thought it strange that strange young guy would die already decomposing in his head Lost among his personal effects his fleet of rusting cars and half-assed projects Deck tacked to garage his herds of “pets” Easy to pretend he wasn't really there between jail stints or some imagined threat or theft of crap haunted by the shadows of his persecutors caught in motion lights and cameras' blinding evidence of jungle-jumble and malfunctioning alarms going off in the wind Everyone's out to get his stuff We could dismiss him-- mostly sorta ...except for times he mowed his grass at night or hand-built “the lunatic tower” just for mom from scavenged scraps and hammered hours power-sawed through the housing codes and horror of the neighbors... ...Such a special spectacle... ******* crazy-- John! He was enough for one day at a time like when he flung that threatening bolder on bilco doors for percussive effect "Get off my fuckin' property!” (not using his “inside voice") “Next time, that'll be your head!! He announces his intent to not get mad, behave himself to call the cops on me instead Fake-dialing While his mother screams in dread “John is off his meds!” My phone is set to speed dial 911 ____ “How did we miss this? How did we not miss him those quiet days?” How we miss him now How quiet
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70
Romilda was an old lady, She had no small baby, So she petted her sisters daughter, Who only drank milk but not water, Little baby had a nice name which was Angelina Geolly But her life was a worry, She never went for the studio, Never had Romeo, She was brought up at a village, But had a wide knowledge, Her old aunt was always frank, But Angelina Geolly use to prank, One morning Angelina knocked her head on the wall, And started dialing a call, It was to none other than the fire brigade, Hello, Come asap for our gate, Fire! Fear! Fire! After an hour they reached in, It was all about a recycle bin Angeline had only meant, fire at her aunts cooker, But they responded you little sucker! The poor Aunt Matilda had to pay, For their visit all the way But still the house wasn’t grey! Some people, few people started to blame Angelina Geolly! She ran into her trolley, And Angelina Cried Cried Cried, But later she was Fried Fried Fried
0
Aug 20, 2010
Aug 20, 2010 at 11:30 PM UTC
NEVER NEVER PRANK
I. I should probably get some sleep 3am is not a time for pouring out sorrows onto paper The morning is too young and the stars too bright II. I should be dreaming of blue eyes and summer nights Instead I am writing of old heartbreaks and drowning in my fifth cup of coffee III. My mother reckons I should get some sleep When she finds me in the morning Lights on, slumbering into the warm keyboard And grocery bags under my eyes Big enough that I stumble trying to lift them IV. I should probably get some sleep When my thoughts start to get obscene And I am dialing numbers that I shouldn’t be But sometimes I find it difficult To lie down in a peaceful rest When I don’t know if there’s anything worth waking up to
0
Jun 13, 2014
Jun 13, 2014 at 7:59 PM UTC
Sleep
The rooster swivels on its axis returning coarse wind into the pyre of mad, mad tongues raving alongside charred ivory. Lifted by sorry hands from dying embers’ embrace and eased with foreign pity, ceremoniously, into a cardboard crate wheeled against the traffic, stumbling backwards through yellow canvases, between my family dressed in black, to dress the void (deck), mourners spitting soda into their cups, as word paddle upstream, onto a thin futon within four walls stained with unfinished ghosts. The doctor removes the white shroud like God coaxing pink light on the first day and wine oozes through elastic veins to the far corners of my skin thin ventricular walls. One crack, in the doors and in my chest, paramedics in white blur in, heel first, Pan-island couriers on reverse gear to the corner of a numbered street, where I am delivered like a gladiator thrown into the arena of nosy gazes, with the urgency of hens clucking away from premeditated slaughter: deep Christmas red on the tessellated parking lot. Clumsy thumbs dialing 599, I moan inwardly to the concentric circles of strangers retreating, erasing me from cell-phone cameras. Then like a flip animation I snap backwards, up 21 floors, pause for about an hour on the ledge before smashing backwards, back down, past kids scratching graffiti off the cement and growing cigarettes in their mouths. The rain ascends and I take wet cash from the driver while I fidget on the leather and throw up mediocre coffee into my cup. I dig into my throat and return the bread to its plastic bag and when the cab stops I fall left out onto another parking lot, moonwalk up the stairs to where I unwrite my name in the annals of failure and shove the Fs of my past back then I take the bus instead.
0
Jan 12, 2013
Jan 12, 2013 at 3:24 AM UTC
Backwards
The rooster swivels on its axis returning coarse wind into the pyre of mad, mad tongues raving alongside charred ivory. Lifted by sorry hands from dying embers’ embrace and eased with foreign pity, ceremoniously, into a cardboard crate wheeled against the traffic, stumbling backwards through yellow canvases, between my family dressed in black, to dress the void (deck), mourners spitting soda into their cups, as word paddle upstream, onto a thin futon within four walls stained with unfinished ghosts. The doctor removes the white shroud like God coaxing pink light on the first day and wine oozes through elastic veins to the far corners of my skin thin ventricular walls. One crack, in the doors and in my chest, paramedics in white blur in, heel first, Pan-island couriers on reverse gear to the corner of a numbered street, where I am delivered like a gladiator thrown into the arena of nosy gazes, with the urgency of hens clucking away from premeditated slaughter: deep Christmas red on the tessellated parking lot. Clumsy thumbs dialing 599, I moan inwardly to the concentric circles of strangers retreating, erasing me from cell-phone cameras. Then like a flip animation I snap backwards, up 21 floors, pause for about an hour on the ledge before smashing backwards, back down, past kids scratching graffiti off the cement and growing cigarettes in their mouths. The rain ascends and I take wet cash from the driver while I fidget on the leather and throw up mediocre coffee into my cup. I dig into my throat and return the bread to its plastic bag and when the cab stops I fall left out onto another parking lot, moonwalk up the stairs to where I unwrite my name in the annals of failure and shove the Fs of my past back then I take the bus instead.
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31
the first time you said I love you was on Valentines day. On the way back to my house, on a winding street lined with pine trees You said it as a joke, and that's why I laughed the second time you said I love you was when we were on your living room floor vinyls upon vinyls with the wrapping all around us this time I just ignored it and gave a tight smile the third time you said I love you it was attached to a quick goodbye on the phone I hung up before I could react and dropped to the floor right after because how the **** could you ever love me and not know about the planet of skeletons I have in my closest? you never seen my bad days or my worst days you don't know the way I light up and the way I fade away you don't know the voices in my head or the numbers on my arm dialing a phone home hell, you don't even know what that means you can't love me because you don't even know that I'm a planet you can't love me because you don't know that I gave up being a human a long time ago and you can never love me because you'll never understand why
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Apr 18, 2016
Apr 18, 2016 at 9:02 AM UTC
Don't Say It Until You Mean It
My left brain twists, and secanol comes flowing, My eyes are square moon bases, nonagonal PVC behind them Accounting for a dialing rhythm of split modular beeps, Air-packed and dew drop sized, but only held by felt feelings. They pipe in. The Opener Screamers Open a pal, a pulsing pill of pep talks and peptides, And scream my way into tomorrow, a sleepy cheetah with anxious acid reflux. My right brain does a sit up. My left brain twists, and secanol comes flowing.
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Mar 21, 2014
Mar 21, 2014 at 3:19 AM UTC
My Left Brain Twists, and Secanol Comes Flowing
Have you ever seen a night sky so clear; So clear that there’s not even a sign of the moon’s existence? Well, I’m under one right now The street is empty and the darkness is silent No rustling of leaves or bushes, No hums of crickets singing in chorus Window drapes are down And they’re all black instead of yellow Streetlights are the only source of light And that telephone booth standing steadily alone on the corner Hands inside my hoodie’s pocket, I go in it I pick the phone up and started dialing a number When suddenly all the lights go out In a blink of an eye, and the world is in total darkness Everything is quieter than ever Then the wind comes whooshing The thunder begins applauding The lighting started like camera flashes Raindrops as big as golf ***** fall from the sky And the way they hit the roof of the booth, I almost believe they’re as heavy Inside the booth I still get wet from all the sweat Then, as if on cue, the storm dies Quietness floods again The booth light flickers but that’s all Streetlights never come back Hesitating for a moment, I slowly go out I look up and the sky isn’t just a black canvas anymore; It’s now filled with blots of white ink Glittered to life I kick the waters not yet ****** up by the drains I look at how calm they are Mirroring the beautiful night sky painted I can definitely say I’m top and under the cosmos
0
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 8:57 AM UTC
Reflected Artwork
When a ******* Is in love He doesn’t know it He unknowingly Plays his game in clay Swiftly in his smartness He misses the path “don’t love” His fatal fall into a quicksand Yet, he doesn’t know it He thinks he is moving But ******* has sunk half body His phone rung until death comes He would’nt answer till he **** He is busy with another And the others will still call He’s got a new phone line Thinking it means a new life He keeps dialing  +234   This time not caring about **** ******* sleeps in her dreams With his eyes open He says to himself She is mean ******* You were brutal to love You cut off her wings And let that dove not fly Should you be proud That today Love grew up a hawk   If you won’t accept her a dove you will have to deal with this Hawk When a ******* falls in love He falls with hawkish wings cut Deep down he would fall To the bottomless pit To a land of no return When love plays a ******* He becomes the game And love is doing the play So if you are a ******* Take your time before night Love will come in due time
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May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 12:41 AM UTC
When Love plays a *******
Lieing on my body is my soft little feline So cute and sweet like a flower of clementine I pet Young Gunther softly as he stares into my eyes I however was yet to meet my despise The claws came out all sharp and about Blood everywhere as I fought him throughout Feeling such pain I fought back the best I could His speed however was misunderstood Bleeding out I grabbed the phone In mid-brawl I began to crawl Dialing 911 to save my life At this point even a knife would not suffice Nearly dead the ambulance arrived Deprived and hurt I continued to cry "Why Gunther, why?" I was put on to a stretcher and taken away Gunther running he escaped in some way In the ER with little blood left No hope in my mind remains about to be swept Into a can and in a number of minutes My fatality occurred Words were slurred And I died slowly painfully and without any last words But "Oh Young Gunther, you little ****
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Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014 at 4:13 PM UTC
Cat Scratch
Selfie... Selfie... The trends been going selfeye... With this trend comes a blend, pouts... like they are kissing themselves for being screen ****** With social media in place, selfie is the one with pace They even got an app out for it instagram, that make people instapout People get 1000 likes for posting instant selfie, giving false notion of that they are friendly People chatting all night long becoming woolly when it comes to confront with face on Do you know the fun fact, selfie kills more than shark bites Futile competition of FRIENDS + LIKES = NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY over the time Close ones want to know how are you doing, a mere picture of you is just a façade So when are you dialing that number in your phone, just to know how you forgot to talk The very same social media that promise to bridge the gap, made you incapable of having a conversation with the very same friend’s list you flaunt
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Mar 21, 2019
Mar 21, 2019 at 2:15 AM UTC
SELFIE... THE TRENDS GOING SELFEYE
several snakes spiraling hissing a message in her ear telephone is dialing waiting for a call from someone dear (on the velveteen tangerine) roller skated through the town laces strangle each other like constrictors gravity is upside down the pair of skates are like twin sisters (on the velveteen tangerine) ivy climbing legs and boughs stemming into leaves and flowers time is spinning backwards now the clock has been gone for hours (on the velveteen tangerine) cream and sugar sweet share a cup of tea with company friends talk about their week lounging in the leafy canopy (on the velveteen tangerine) eyes stare at the strange sight unattached and independently moonlight shines on glades of green at night trees blend into starry scenery (on the velveteen tangerine) citrus spheres hang from tree limbs peel the hard rind to make it nice pick one or a dozen at your whim drink sweet juice or swallow a slice (on the velveteen tangerine) beware of seeds and centipedes but take a chance and you will dance with delight around midnight on the velveteen tangerine
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May 2, 2019
May 2, 2019 at 10:57 PM UTC
Velveteen Tangerine
1) 12 thousand tweets and none of them are substantial. They're becoming less and less about you though. Maybe that's what is substantial about them. 2) Something in the way you wrap sin in worship. 3) I'm an arson waiting to happen, is the funeral pyre really necessary? 4) Writing about you angrily isn't doing it anymore. I want to smash bricks through windshields that used to hold flowers I bought you. 5) Looks like you're not at the bottom of this one either. **** 6) My love has always been leprosy. 7) You're the interlude, not the chorus. But, that's okay I'm a terrible vocalist anyway. 8) She wants to date boys that are self aware and boy did she hit the jackpot. 9) You smile with the grace of grandmothers and I'm a bad boy like your grandpa after the War. 10) Can I cut out your grin and put in on the wall next to my framed poster of Bob Dylan and Charles Bukowski? 11) Trace my outline in chalk when I finally drink myself to sleep. I'm euthanizing the pieces of me that belong to you. 12) If I find you in Heaven won't you be in his arms? If I find you in Hell won't you be my torment? 13) You make me feel as insignificant as God does and I think that says something about prayer. 14) I quit paying my phone bill so I'd quit dialing your number like a suicide hotline. 15) My teeth are rotten like the lies that spill out of my teeth. You find me beautiful and I've never been more self-conscious. 16) Your silence fills my abdomen like daggers and words clot where crimson should flow. 17) Loving you is ************ 18) My heart is at a crossroads and you're drowning in dust in the rearview mirror. 19) You prefer the subtle burns. The flames so hot they sever nerve endings when they lick your fingers the way I imagine I would. 20) She sings the body electric and I'm forced to worship her through computer screens and the scratch of needle on vinyl.
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May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 6:08 AM UTC
Twitter Poetry Vol. 3
1) 12 thousand tweets and none of them are substantial. They're becoming less and less about you though. Maybe that's what is substantial about them. 2) Something in the way you wrap sin in worship. 3) I'm an arson waiting to happen, is the funeral pyre really necessary? 4) Writing about you angrily isn't doing it anymore. I want to smash bricks through windshields that used to hold flowers I bought you. 5) Looks like you're not at the bottom of this one either. **** 6) My love has always been leprosy. 7) You're the interlude, not the chorus. But, that's okay I'm a terrible vocalist anyway. 8) She wants to date boys that are self aware and boy did she hit the jackpot. 9) You smile with the grace of grandmothers and I'm a bad boy like your grandpa after the War. 10) Can I cut out your grin and put in on the wall next to my framed poster of Bob Dylan and Charles Bukowski? 11) Trace my outline in chalk when I finally drink myself to sleep. I'm euthanizing the pieces of me that belong to you. 12) If I find you in Heaven won't you be in his arms? If I find you in Hell won't you be my torment? 13) You make me feel as insignificant as God does and I think that says something about prayer. 14) I quit paying my phone bill so I'd quit dialing your number like a suicide hotline. 15) My teeth are rotten like the lies that spill out of my teeth. You find me beautiful and I've never been more self-conscious. 16) Your silence fills my abdomen like daggers and words clot where crimson should flow. 17) Loving you is ************ 18) My heart is at a crossroads and you're drowning in dust in the rearview mirror. 19) You prefer the subtle burns. The flames so hot they sever nerve endings when they lick your fingers the way I imagine I would. 20) She sings the body electric and I'm forced to worship her through computer screens and the scratch of needle on vinyl.
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20
It is year two thousand and fourteen Reformatting my brain I’m dripping Dimethyltryptamine Revelations is now here for I had a vision I had seen. So many experiences now under my belt Unexplainable sights overcoming I had seen Smelling something like moth ***** is all I smelt. I’m setting the stage, I am setting the scene. Actions with matching words having ultimate precision Three times is truly the lucky charm Traveling to a brave new unseen world Is this heaven, is this hell Or am I stuck somewhere in-between? Stepping outside myself I now watch and see Confusing images revealing, turning me inside out Suffocating my mind how is this happening to me? High pitched frequency dialing in my ears are now ringing Disconnected words lost why is he now not singing? Honing on each and every instrument in his band Everything that is happening to me is because I had again awaking my pineal gland. (SirCARSr. 1-8-14)
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Jan 8, 2014
Jan 8, 2014 at 1:11 PM UTC
Ctrl-alt-delete
Eve held two cigarettes in her lips and lit them. She passed one to Mark, beside her on the chaise. Thomas was with Delilah in the bedchamber getting a few lessons in life. They were making noises like a slaughterhouse as Mark tried to focus his thoughts. He left the couch and went to the phone, dialing Satan’s office. Eve watching him with heavy lids, her arm stretched across the curved backboard. She inhaled forcefully, making thick clouds that obscured her face, then her head, and then the whole couch. He was watching her too, wondering what she was up to as Satan picked up the line. “Yeh?” said the devil. “Satan, Mark. We’ve got to talk.” Satan was silent for a moment, then said sharply, “Look, they’ve got wire-taps. Why don’t you come over here? We can talk in person. It’s safer then taking a chance on them listening.” Mark thought that was smart, but if they were listening they’d already gotten an earful, but he had to take that chance. He hung up the phone and fanned the air with his hands. The girl was gone. He heard chuckling from the bedchamber and realized there were more voices than before, loudly squealing and giggling. He heard Thomas moaning in utter delight and decided to leave him there. As far as Thomas was concerned, Purgatory never felt so good.
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Jul 18, 2018
Jul 18, 2018 at 11:33 PM UTC
the gangs of Jerusalem [Satan & Eve]
Saying words meaning nothing, transfixed with "I" it's startes every sentence, and if i could i'd end with I. Only opinion that matters is my own, mastery is a poem. syncing lines with words and words weighing me down like stones. Thoughts so sad they corrode my morals like acid. sitting on my bed, it starts and i become homesick. Pathetic as i once was and even more so, can you believe it? still smiling and laughing at jokes never said, hoping to break even. We're going out, it's all on me, except for the money and the driving. your phone is probably blowing up from all the numbers you're dialing. never not gonna do what we did last weekend, eh? Slow jamming to oldies in a "Smoke that bud" kinda way. Chain smoking for fun, and laugh at silent jokes. planning our next unknown move, totally stoked. A Queen is just a pawn with fancy moves, you say. those weren't queens but it doesn't mean we're not kings, i say. They were ordinary but we made them out to someone extra-ordinary. Alright lets stop this nonsense, thinking about people who don't deserve it. my emotions are swelling and empty, complicated i don't know how else to word it.
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Aug 13, 2012
Aug 13, 2012 at 1:12 AM UTC
A Queen is just a pawn with fancy moves.
responsive wordplay resizes double entendre to single line call blocked the writers got more out by dialing 9 touch screens to text readers read text and seem touched the ringing in your ears was from a cellular punch I plan to limit my data but I always over share mastering dastardly dactyls pushes my meter to bare if you only think 1x you might struggle to get the picture take a 4G dose to flex your brain with crack and fissures lithium ironic that my low battery turns hyperbole to hypo I got you charged with flattery alas, you're not my typo
0
Jun 10, 2014
Jun 10, 2014 at 10:37 PM UTC
mobile pome
no. 1, pop perfect record. The energy of dialing wars- each canvas has its temples splintered. Put down the smoking, and you can beat them with nerves. Your new revolution! My father was your father until you had him shot while he was sleeping under his bed. Now you make popcorn and read the funny papers alone. even. You bought me that cheap cologne from the mall. Thanks little brother. [] True [] Love [] Story [] You hugger-mugger, slubberdegullion, crapulous lumming. Then enecate and banjax. You have always been the logomachous one.
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Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 5:03 AM UTC
The Brother of Nibelungenlied
To be a lucky strand, Tangled, tethered to you Cloaking such beauty, To see the iris that glows Behind tinted amber pools Teeth that advise such clarity, Wrapped in velvet creased lips A protruding collar bone, Embossing ethereal skin With shoulders built To harbor the weight of the world Bronzed over flesh is spanning Across fickle and cold bones Constructing a case to hide A sunken Aquarius heart For as hollow as it is To a lover's knock, There is much to be Uncovered and desired Unspeakable curves will mold To accentuate a searing lust Justified by knowing what it means To be held to you Arms stretching to a locking embrace Warm to touch Every joint akin to the previous, Dialing down to finger tips, Breaking away in ten beautiful directions And there lies a gateway to symmetry, Almost unseen Where the make of your mother's breath, And the sum of your father's skill, Entwine to beget a graceful badge To where you constitute a conceivable home, Should you so choose A manger, suited to an heir Here is where your dress flows How many Michigan sunsets Have broke light beneath the fabric That adorns you How many Chicago winds Have flown that flag Such comfort to be a cloth, Draped in a silhouette To an ornate fashion The thousands of threads Spun and stitched to adhere A fixation of benevolent shape It's astir to every notch As you saunter past With tenor and a managed confidence Two feet with a steadfast passion And misplaced direction
0
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013 at 5:34 PM UTC
Body (shape poem in notes)
I wish that Katelyn lived closer Drunk dialing would go a little more smoothly for me if she at least lived in a neighboring city I said I would crawl to you and I would but I'd hardly make it to the end of the street let alone over the state line before inevitable collapse I wish that Kristi didn't disappear My mind would be a little more at ease if I knew why you vanished in the first place Questions would have answers ego would be pieced back together and that foolish hopeful flame would (hopefully) be extinguished I wish that Caitlyn wasn't so sweet a cavity of the heart made the sugar maddening but you still were so true sometimes I find myself wanting that madness again to be alone in company and calamity, to feel someone's gaze in total love and acceptance; most times I don't I wish that Angie wasn't spoken for I respect your loyalty, I do You don't come by that very often But don't you just want to cast that aside? Don't you want to succumb and give in? Just this once, let your desires win But that's just my desire talking Don't listen I wish I wasn't so convinced now, so cold All I know is the cruelty buried underneath mesmerizing complexities I also wish my **** didn't burn so bad coming out, so, now I don't know what to think anymore
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Oct 29, 2013
Oct 29, 2013 at 4:16 PM UTC
2-ply for your thoughts
I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about using every day. I have dreams about those little yellow pills, they don't speak to me, or appear any different than they are in reality, I just dream about holding them in my hands. I couldn't do it, recreational drug use. I never could no matter how many times I told myself I wasn't addicted, the truth remained that I was. I would tell myself "what kind of ******* is a drug addict, you're not, you're fine." But I wasn't. And everyday I have to tell myself "no, you cannot take those pills because you will not be able to stop" Some days it ends there, others I get as far as dialing my dealer's number. Most days it's in the middle. Being an addict is about having habits; wake up, take three, (don't eat breakfast, the high will fade faster). Take four once the feeling leaves your legs, and four more before you go to sleep, so you can sleep. Rinse and repeat; rinse and repeat. Sobriety is the same way; wake up, convince your self you don't need it. Rinse and repeat as needed. She helps, but she can't replace my addiction. Although she gets me high, I can't become addicted to her, her lips do not have opiates hidden within, but they have something better. I don't think about getting high when I'm with her. The high I get from her kisses is not dissimilar to that of methodone, only their is no crash. The high I get from caressing her thighs shares a likeness with ******* except it costs love, not cash. The high I get from hearing her gasp my name as our love making intensifies is very similar to that of hydrocodone, only much, much better.
0
Jul 6, 2014
Jul 6, 2014 at 1:46 AM UTC
4 Weeks Sober (But I Still Get High)
I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about using every day. I have dreams about those little yellow pills, they don't speak to me, or appear any different than they are in reality, I just dream about holding them in my hands. I couldn't do it, recreational drug use. I never could no matter how many times I told myself I wasn't addicted, the truth remained that I was. I would tell myself "what kind of ******* is a drug addict, you're not, you're fine." But I wasn't. And everyday I have to tell myself "no, you cannot take those pills because you will not be able to stop" Some days it ends there, others I get as far as dialing my dealer's number. Most days it's in the middle. Being an addict is about having habits; wake up, take three, (don't eat breakfast, the high will fade faster). Take four once the feeling leaves your legs, and four more before you go to sleep, so you can sleep. Rinse and repeat; rinse and repeat. Sobriety is the same way; wake up, convince your self you don't need it. Rinse and repeat as needed. She helps, but she can't replace my addiction. Although she gets me high, I can't become addicted to her, her lips do not have opiates hidden within, but they have something better. I don't think about getting high when I'm with her. The high I get from her kisses is not dissimilar to that of methodone, only their is no crash. The high I get from caressing her thighs shares a likeness with ******* except it costs love, not cash. The high I get from hearing her gasp my name as our love making intensifies is very similar to that of hydrocodone, only much, much better.
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Eve's on Highway 70. Been on it for some four hours. After dialing the ten digits on the cracked cell screen, she turns it on speakerphone. It rings once. To the side of the road, a sign reads, World's Tallest Prairie Dog. It rings twice. She wonders how long the wind has been red; how long until the red sun gives up. It rings three times. There are birds flying up ahead. She wants to call them by name. But what good would it do? It rings four times. He picks up. Her lips are chapped. I'm fine, Jay. Thanks. Just calling to tell you that I'm in the state. What state? Your state? What do you mean? I'm in Colorado. What? What are you doing here? Am I not welcome? No, no. It's not that. Why didn't you tell me? I wanted it to be a surprise. I hate surprises. Nobody hates surprises. I do. She's silent for a beat. The birds are still ahead; she races toward them but never gains. Why didn't you tell me? he asks. I just told you. I think something's wrong with my phone. I can hear an echo. I have you on speaker. Why? My internal mic is broken. Internal mic? What does that mean? I don't know. Where are you going? Fort Collins. I have family out there, I guess. Some cousins. Are you on the way? Am I on the way to Fort Collins? Yes. No. That's not what I want you to say. What do you want me to say? Just try again. Eve, I don't think this is a good idea. Try again. What? Try again. I can hardly hear you. There's wind or something. With her index finger she nudges the volume **** to no effect. She puts her knee on the steering wheel. She rolls up her window. Say what I want you to say, she says. I'm on the way, Jay says, if you take the long way. I'll be there by six. What should we do? You could start by apologizing. So could you, Jay. What should we do? Say that one more time--the phone. What should we do when I get there? We'll figure something out. I hope, she says.
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Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 11:51 AM UTC
The Pleading Hands of Women
Eve's on Highway 70. Been on it for some four hours. After dialing the ten digits on the cracked cell screen, she turns it on speakerphone. It rings once. To the side of the road, a sign reads, World's Tallest Prairie Dog. It rings twice. She wonders how long the wind has been red; how long until the red sun gives up. It rings three times. There are birds flying up ahead. She wants to call them by name. But what good would it do? It rings four times. He picks up. Her lips are chapped. I'm fine, Jay. Thanks. Just calling to tell you that I'm in the state. What state? Your state? What do you mean? I'm in Colorado. What? What are you doing here? Am I not welcome? No, no. It's not that. Why didn't you tell me? I wanted it to be a surprise. I hate surprises. Nobody hates surprises. I do. She's silent for a beat. The birds are still ahead; she races toward them but never gains. Why didn't you tell me? he asks. I just told you. I think something's wrong with my phone. I can hear an echo. I have you on speaker. Why? My internal mic is broken. Internal mic? What does that mean? I don't know. Where are you going? Fort Collins. I have family out there, I guess. Some cousins. Are you on the way? Am I on the way to Fort Collins? Yes. No. That's not what I want you to say. What do you want me to say? Just try again. Eve, I don't think this is a good idea. Try again. What? Try again. I can hardly hear you. There's wind or something. With her index finger she nudges the volume **** to no effect. She puts her knee on the steering wheel. She rolls up her window. Say what I want you to say, she says. I'm on the way, Jay says, if you take the long way. I'll be there by six. What should we do? You could start by apologizing. So could you, Jay. What should we do? Say that one more time--the phone. What should we do when I get there? We'll figure something out. I hope, she says.
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I had a closet that was soundproof growing up I used to crawl inside and perch on top of a mound of clothes There I dialed a random number once And told them all my secrets On an answering machine that never hung up I swear I heard someone listening The air was pregnant with Rosebuds The petals of Ripe Imagination So I created poems and gave them to the child Who sat in the corner of the call This is real I said into the phone And no one said it wasn’t So I told them I was not afraid to die And it was quiet So I told whoever was listening that I loved them Because we barely take the time to stop and love To stop and call I’m still waiting for my brother’s voice To appear over the phone And ask me how im doing The warmth between us has grown cold and there’s icebergs creeping Up in the depth of my confusion Someone once told me love was blind But im still trying to find you in the darkness Find you on our old mountain walks in our Endless talks He gave me piggy back rides Letting me carve my secrets into the bark on his back Even though he couldn’t see them or read them ever again He used to be a sail Letting me blow endless winds Until my tears created rivers and I built a boat with him And sailed across To the other side where my cheeks were dry I’ve heard that 90 percent of human interaction is non-verbal so ill wonder where his fingers are that aren’t dialing 314 9770 there must be shrapnel in his back that replaces the spine that once made him a man so ill dial until my fingers find the right combination of a familiar voice and then ill tell them all my secrets until moss grows on top of us and we’re old much higher up on a mountain somewhere looking back from where we came from. From his little bedroom painted light blue Converted from a closet with a round window It was his little sea cabin in the house Still holding all of our secrets.
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May 6, 2013
May 6, 2013 at 1:47 AM UTC
brothers
I had a closet that was soundproof growing up I used to crawl inside and perch on top of a mound of clothes There I dialed a random number once And told them all my secrets On an answering machine that never hung up I swear I heard someone listening The air was pregnant with Rosebuds The petals of Ripe Imagination So I created poems and gave them to the child Who sat in the corner of the call This is real I said into the phone And no one said it wasn’t So I told them I was not afraid to die And it was quiet So I told whoever was listening that I loved them Because we barely take the time to stop and love To stop and call I’m still waiting for my brother’s voice To appear over the phone And ask me how im doing The warmth between us has grown cold and there’s icebergs creeping Up in the depth of my confusion Someone once told me love was blind But im still trying to find you in the darkness Find you on our old mountain walks in our Endless talks He gave me piggy back rides Letting me carve my secrets into the bark on his back Even though he couldn’t see them or read them ever again He used to be a sail Letting me blow endless winds Until my tears created rivers and I built a boat with him And sailed across To the other side where my cheeks were dry I’ve heard that 90 percent of human interaction is non-verbal so ill wonder where his fingers are that aren’t dialing 314 9770 there must be shrapnel in his back that replaces the spine that once made him a man so ill dial until my fingers find the right combination of a familiar voice and then ill tell them all my secrets until moss grows on top of us and we’re old much higher up on a mountain somewhere looking back from where we came from. From his little bedroom painted light blue Converted from a closet with a round window It was his little sea cabin in the house Still holding all of our secrets.
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