Classroom, you have gone through much
witness of devotion and inspiration,
of boredom and slumber;
partner to the late learner and early comers;
have experienced a stream of personalities;

Classroom, you have gone through much
unliving witness to adult's birth, growt and depraving;
lifeless room filled with feelings:
that of the boy, thinking he loves,
that of the girl, who shares not that love,
that of the two, hoping it will last,
those of the students, who leave with hope;

Classroom, you sure have gone through much
victim of time, witness of fights;
have observed chaos and intense silence;
your walls reveal our will to be remembered;
Classroom, realm of memories and shadows of the past.

A true relationship is fluid and energy generating
Being dynamic, it should activate your highest potentials

You have forced me to realize what we had for those years was never a true relationship, or a true love
I do not solely blame myself or solely blame you for our many fails
But as far as myself goes, I know what my faults were

I often lost my sense of self the longer we were "on"
Wondering when it would end that time, I became anxious and derealization would occur randomly
I clung to you in anticipation of my heart sinking and shattering and taking my soul with it

Those feelings do not emanate from love though, do they?
No
They emanate from fear
I did love you
But then I feared you
Feared your absence, neglect, reactions, and that, is not love in any way

The trust I gave you time and time again was never held with care
Maybe you never knew just how low and broken I'd be
Maybe you did
My wisdom never let me forget that loving someone and being loved meant allowing vulnerability
I knew and know love will never be love unless you're vulnerable in some way
But my oblivious heart somehow believed giving you complete control was a part of that

Starting anew after a year or so sounded incredible
But it didn't take long before reality emerged and I found myself in the same degrading and depraving phase I have been oh so familiar with, with you

The entire meaning of this is to say I know what I had for so long was not love, but fear
And now that I don't fear you...
You're just a stranger that knows my weaknesses and none of my strengths
One that's only ever seen my lows, never my highs
And I'm ok with that

Adulthood is falsehood.
I remember at the darkest,
hearing a voice other than my mother's,
mantra repeated for knife-depraving comfort,
keeping nails away from face.
I thought it should be the voice
of the woman who held me against her breast
who bore me through blood and near-death.
The voice seemed more woman than my mother.
The deep, solid, earthy voice of iron eyes and earthen hands
rough tenderness of nature,
the comfort of Eve
made woman, never born child.
But I suppose she understood better than we
innocence lost.

My mother has the fragility of spun sugar,
But steel bent will--
I realize there is still the scared child
buried in her heart
and I see the same reflection of me in the mirror.
Buck-toothed, grass haired, round faced, and wide eyed.
I wonder if I will ever feel fully woman.
Or if we're all just scared children.
Powerful and powerless
as the girl building sandcastles
holding dominion
till the tides of time bear them away.

It's a shame that our interesting tale is now monotonous news.
Unchanging, irritating, self-depraving issues.
Articles filled with more lies than dollars paid for the politician's shoes.
When sincerity is lost I find no purpose in prying
Please, stop lying.

Whatever sick game this is, I want out. I'm not buying.
What exactly is it that you think I'm implying?
Can you at least say a word? This silence is undying.
I've washed my hands of the mistakes of the past, although, they don't appear to be drying.
Is my watch broken? Or do I just have bad timing?
I can't tell...you haven't answered...you're stuck to the floor...lying.

I don't know how to fix nothin', just how to tolerate the pain.
Bandages, crutches, happiness,  and punches. It all ends up feeling the same.
Complaints for days. Compliant;Being tamed.
The position of one letter separates the lion from the rage.
quiet is the game. ROAR is the name. Would you remain silent if a tyrant shoved YOU in a cage?
Tamed you in order to teach you to shame yourself? To betray yourself?
So that you can blame no one else?

I ought to brain you.
Can't wait to betray you.
I'll wait for the right trick in the night show to change back into
The beast that was whipped and beat before being trapped in a zoo.
You'll wish you had fed me more when I get through with you.
So laugh, smile, cheer for a while. Do what they pay you to do.
******' grin while you can, you little lion man, I've grown much stronger the past day or two.
The false sense of pride I can see deep inside you will fade tonight.
Stick your head in my mouth it will be chewed.  

As the cage opens wide, so do both of your eyes. Filled with shock and surprise as you finally realize:
You may be king of the ring filled with clowns and tumbling,
But true pride comes from the humble, not who's always ready to rumble.
My teeth are about to sink. Your kingdom's about to crumble. Beneath my paws you will struggle.
I pounce. You cry. You see the pride in MY eyes.
I lick my lips. You run and hide to avoid being pummeled.
Looks like dinner AND a movie are on the menu tonight for this King of the Jungle.

The Dark Sun Is My Sign
Pre Existing Time As We Know IT
Forgotten In The Turmoil Of Chaos
My Love, Fall Me Down

The Ages Are Mixing In My Memories
Time Is Eroding The Envelops of My Soul
What I Was Can Not Be No More
My Love, Fall Me Down


Searching From The Edges Of Eternities
I Have Nowhere Else To Go Anymore
For I Am Forbidden To Be Near You
My Love, Fall Me Down

Knowledge’s Forgotten By Gods
Are Disappearing From My Soul
For All I Think About Is You
My Love, Fall Me Down

The Purple Shard Holding Life For Eternity
Is Agonizing Day By Day
For All Energies Are Towards You
My Love, Fall Me Down

I Want To Carry My Spiritual Realms
To Enter Your Evanescent Worlds
Forming A new Creation Never Seen
My Love, I am Asking You, Fall Me Down

I Want To Protect You In My Arms
While You Will Grew New Life
She Will Be Beautiful as Emanating From You
My Love, I am Begging You, Fall Me Down

I Wish You To Offer Us A Life
By A Simple Word, By A Simple Sign
Making Karma Disappear At Last
My Love, I Implore You, Fall Me Down

When The Gods Are Answering The Eternal Cries
When Fate Is Bending Over The Sorrow
When Time Is Suspending For An Eternal Second
My Love, I Pray To You, Fall Me Down

Fears And Doubts Must Diseapear
For They Are Depraving The Worlds
Of The Most Beautiful Existence
My Creation Of Your World

Fall Me Down

Warlock

Stenches Swarm as I Flee.
Further is Closer, but Closer can't be.
I'm trying to hide from my own Misery.
This is not just an Excerpt; A Moment; A Thing.
Home is so ******* Far away.
Amidst these Beings, I am Forever alone.

As I Run through my City,
With arms so depraving,
I turn to the sky,
Now Scorched by their screams.
Their caustic teeth,
Slowly Sink into me.
A Carving so starving,
A Man, it could not be.

Dance, lover, dance,
Back, thrown from the chance,
That I might just Taste you,
And Submerge you in Hands.
Hands from the victims,
Now quick with demands.

Your Sweat wets the floor,
Your Blood Bank, A dried Store.

Drip,
        Drip,
                Drip,

You should have checked the Backseat.

I believe In foolish things
repeat meaningless sayings
share my depraving
with Everyone,
Every day

I dislike all deflating
when people start complaining
about stupid ****, degrading.
Just like I'm doing
Now.

******* all,
That's what I'm saying.
All of you who're playing
everyone around you, enslaving
Yourself at the same time.

A life full of hating
walks hand in hand with craving
for the sugar rush keeps fading
Wether you like it or not.

flowers you gave her
starting to wilt
first daises
depraving innocence
then a lonely rose
pink petals swelling
under pressure
living off artificial sweeteners
suffocating wildflowers
does not tame her
drawn out death
begging for life
souls need sun to thrive
not sugar to borrow
bouquets only live
dying for replacement  
another petal falls
leaves are always last
clutching thorns on stems
holding everything upright
time sensitivity quickens
containing beauty consistently
cutting herself short
viscously controlling
how long you get to see
the illusion
weeping alone
hoarding tears
neglecting to refill
vases left to rot
turning vases into jars
depositing wax at her expense
candles illuminating scarlet letters
ignites inescapable fires
killing her spirit
she too dies slowly