Dear Crystal ****,
I loved you
I put so much trust in you
I spent every hour of every day confiding in you
I told you my deepest fears
I let you know how broken i was
and you ******* took advantage of me
You took everything i owned
you stole my family from under me
you robbed me of all my money
We never had a healthy relationship

From the first night i met you
you beat me into a ****** pulp
You made me hate everyone
You turned me into a monster just like you..

You dug your claws into me
You slit my skin with your razors of control
But you just brushed it off and kept destroying me
I tried so many times to leave you
I tried so hard to cut you off
But the attemps just failed

You flooded my mind with thoughts of you
You gave me flashbacks of when we were together
I heard your voice screaming when all i wanted to do was forget about you
You controlled every aspect of my mind
my body
And my life

Then one day i couldnt take it anymore
Your abuse was to muc for me
You had me on my knees begging for a saving grace
I cried
I screamed
I begged god for the light
I wanted to die
I stood on the edge of bridges
I stared at knives and blades
I felt like i couldnt continue with you
and like i definitly count continue without you..

Then one dark august night
God awnsered my prayers
He wrapped his arms around me and rocked me to sleep after so many weeks without closing my eyes
I slept for almost 4 days
Waking only to use the restroom and to shove any food i could find in my face
You slowly left my system

You didnt go peacefully of course
You paniced
You clawed
You begged me not to do this
but i didnt listen

I stayed true to myself
I finally left you...

Things wernt smooth at first
I felt lost
I was confused about everything involving life
I didnt know who i was
I thought i would for sure go running back to you
But i gave it time

I pushed through the hot and cold flashes
Ignored the hallucinations and the fevers
It was pure hell on earth
But the torture was worth every second because leaving you was the best decition i have ever made for myself

Tomarrow is 30 days free from your shackles
Life still is a constant struggle
But honestly
I would not expect any different after breaking free from the cage of satan and into the sunlight of heaven

I now hae so many things to be greatful for
I have a roof over my head
I bed to sleep in thats not jail or a hospital.
I am a cherished member of y family again
I found love unexpectedly with a man who makes me feel like the most beautiful woman on earth
I have my goals and morals back
I see a future for myself
and most of all..
I am thankful i am breathing because you almost killed me

Someone once said
"Dope heads never quit, they only take extended breaks"
Well, i am proud to say i never am allowing you back into my life

So thank you ****
Even though you shattered every part of my soul
I now have a brand new outlook on life
I also never would have asked my now fiance for a ride home if you had never made me so sick i was in the emergency room
I dont regret you
Because i learned so much about myself and life from you

But now i can finally say...
I ******* hate you and i will never be with you again

Sincerally:
One greatful proud, life loving forever ex tweaker <3

"Pinch the pink rose bud"*  He whispers

"ahhh mmmm"* she responds

"Harder dear one"

"ohhhoww" as the dark heat shoots through her body

"Yes that's it girl"

"Roll it between your thumb and forefinger"
"How does that feel girl?"

"Mmmss ohhh it feels so good"

"Pinch it hard now"

She cries out as the painful heat surges

"That's it, again now harder"

Calls out louder as the heat in the bud hurts but feels so decadent

"Take your other hand and slide your fingers between your rose petals"

She continues rolling the ****** as her other hand obeys His demand
Her fingers reach the nether lips and find them laden with dew
"Mmmsss" As the fingers slide through the moisture

"Slide your fingers into your well and pull forth what you find"*

Her hips lift off the bed as the fingers slip inside her tight wet well
the heat intense her tunnel soaking wet, how she wonders

"Pull it up over your little nub now and begin circling it as you continue to pinch that tight ******"

"OHHHHH ohhh yesss!!!"
It feels so good she wants to move her fingers faster but doesn't dare

"Circle Your **** round and round now pinch hard and hold it"

Gasping as she does so, her legs jump as the heat seems to stab her between her quivering thighs
Whimpering as desire washes over the ivory flesh, feeling the nectar as it flows between the cheeks of her ***

"What are you thinking girl?"

"How I wish you were here, How I want you inside of me so badly"

"Mmmm I wish I was there to girl"
"Now release your pleasure nub and begin to rub faster"

Fingers flutter over the taut nub, hips lift pushing into the fingers
Other hand continues to roll, pinch and pull the ******
He hears her moans, whines, and whimpers growing in intensity

"Lift your ****** to your mouth girl and suckle the hardness, I want to hear you, keep those fingers moving over that taut lil nub" He whispers sensually

Suddenly he can hear her mouth as it pulls upon her own ******, breathing through her nose as she ***** harder, fingers moving faster now as the passion begins to take over from his demands

"That's it girl, bite it hard as you ****, imagine my teeth against your chest"

Her scream is muffled by the large ample globe of flesh as fire shoots to her *****, nectar floods her well

"Yes my girl you sound so good, are you close" He asks softly

"Yessss" is muffled as she continues to **** and bite her bruised breast

"Rub harder girl, faster, I want to feel your release" He says firmly

Her fingers pinch and pull her **** as her mouth suckles on the breast harder pulling more of the flesh into her heated mouth

Tension builds, hotter, as body tightens, muscles grow taut, suddenly her breath holds, her body stiffens liquid shoots into her mouth from her ******, as the clear viscous fluid floods her bed

"Screaming yes oh yes oh **** yes"*  She cries

She hears him as he responds to her ******

"Yessss oh yes girl I am ******* you so hard, oh godddd yes here it
comess"

She hears him hold his breath as his body releases the slapping liquid sound is heard as her own body is still pulsating, muscles finally relaxing as fireworks still explode behind the closed eye lids

"You are so ******* hot ****, I can't wait to yank that long hair as I ram my hard **** deep into you"  He pants

"I can't wait either, I need you soon, please don't make me wait much longer" she begs

His wicked laugh is heard on the other end of the phone as He says firmly
"Now **** *** now"

Believe it or not she did, this time harder than before, thighs quivered where she could not walk, they were actually sore from the strain, she blushed at how easily he could get her to release

"It won't be long now girl, we will meet and you will feel my hand pulling those long locks as I push deep inside you, where you can taste the effect you have on me and I can taste your sweet essence"

"Oh yes I can't wait to be beneath you, on top of you, in front of you, I can feel your bites on my flesh already, I can feel your hard shaft opening me up over and over again, I can't wait"

"Yes that isn't all you will feel is it girl?"  He asked

"ummm no Sir" she shivered thinking of the sting of leather against her flesh, the feel of rope binding her tight, and the clamps all strategically placed to enhance her ******

"Sleep now My girl, naughty dreams"  He whispered huskily

"Sleep tight my Love" She responded softly
The pain scared her but she had experienced it before and the pleasure it brought was so all consuming words could never describe


****** pain can bring intense pleasure. I would suggest you not try things on your own without the guide of an experienced lifestyler.  This definitly enhances the ****** experience.  Not everyone is into it but I hope my poem did it justice

She's absolutely delicious,
sweet like a nectarine,
light fuzz covers her
in all the right places.

I love the way she gushes,
so juicy like a ripe peach,
flowing in abundance,
heavenly-stickiness,
her face looking stellar.

She's very kind
& super fine,
teaches me
how to love her,
tasty like a cobbler,
I gobble her up
every chance I get,
it drives me
out of my mind.

She's definitly not a pet, but
rather a bowl of succulent fruit,
******* the size of peaches
with stout lovely-*******,
as hard as the pits.

I can't wait
to jam it with her,
I want  to make some
marmalade
of my own.

I've won a day at the races
For me and my friend Doreen Maguire
Posh frocks and new hats
That's what we require.

So off we go shopping
Hair and nails done on the way
Well we girls want to lookj our best
For the big race day.

Now Doreen's buxom and curvy
Me I'm thin as a latt
Or you could say slim and slender
And Doreen's just fat.

We went in loads of shops
Nothing seemed to fit the bill
Everything was kind of frumpish
And we're definitly not over the hill.


Then we came accross this shop
In a side street in the town
It's called Reds Closet Boutique
And we both came out with a gown.

We got fascinators to match
Shoes, accessories and bags too
Doreen got something in pink
I got something in blue.

It was the day of the races
We were up with the lark
Had our lunch at Tom and Jerry's
Then off to Haydock Park.

The horses are under starters orders
And I'd backed the grey
Well it came home last
But it was winning all the way.

Now we came to the last race
And we're digging deep in our pocket
Doreen said put it on this
It's called Super Rocket.

Well it romped hom at 50/1
This horse called Super Rocket
And me and Doreen Maguire
Went home with brass in our pocket.

© Hazel

You lost a friend
Its gonna be alright
Your pet dyed
Its gonna be alright
You got hurt
Its gonna be alright
You cry
Its gonna be alright
You're heartbroken
Its gonna be alright
Your world is crashing down
Its gonna be alright
But what if it's not alright?
People always say
Its gonna be alright
But how do they know?
What if Its not gonna be alright?
What if you're broken and definitly not alright?
What gives them to right to say
Its gonna be alright?
Does that mean when it's not alright
I can blame them?
Because I don't feel it's gonna be alright
I feel shattered and far from alright
I just wanna shout it's not alright!
I just wanna scream stop saying alright!
But I can't
We both know it's not always gonna alright
But then again those are comforting words people say
Even with that I'm sick of the words
It's gonna be alright.
I'm just not alright!
I'm
Not
Alright!!

I really dont know what to say
Whatever, i never do.
But you, know, its kind of funny how
I always muddle through.
I really can't express myself
It would never rhyme.
But, you know, its kind of funny how
i usually do fine.
I have this love relationship,
with everyone,
with life.
I have this hate relationship,
it always pays a price.
You know, humans are weird
we take pride in being smart.
But really how smart are we?
We can never do our part.
We can never shut our mouths,
we make people cry,
we make life miserable,
we can't even guide the blind.
You know, people are crazy,
I'm not sure i like them.
You know, what if we were extinct?
What if you and your most loved were left?
Not your family, but the opposite ***
maybe even your best friend, its up to you.
Wouldnt it be so great?
I would raid all the stores,
I would go to Africa,
see in the bad the glore.
Everything depends on money,
im sorry if you dont have it
i really truely am,
because that is definitly tradject.
I'm sorry this poem is terrible,
it doesnt really rhyme
i want to get some thoughts down,
if its incoherant, fine.
It's funny how we love,
because they never love us back
its funny how we trust
then realize theyre bad.
If you understand this,
if you even read this far,
like if you agree-
but you probably wont.
Because thats just how life works,
but ill stick my ******* up
***** everyone
im fine.

I would unite this world under a common goal that what matters is not how much you possess but how long you can stay on a cosmic scale. I would like us to focus on how long we can stay here and I believe that in order for us to achieve that we must work with our environment instead of against it.

I believe that if we balance our ecological footprint to nature's standards we would easily last more than 15 million years and maybe outlast the dinosaurs. Excluding big apocolyptic events that may or definitly will happen in the long term future. In the past hundred years we have made humongous technological progress and we are on the precipice of understanding the world around us. Imagine how far we would come in ten million years even if you include ups and downs regarding progress. Which is still just a dot on a cosmic scale. But at least it's a dot. With the way we currently handle things we wouldn't even get as close as a spec on a cosmic timeline. Considering that we would only have to balance out our ecological footprint to achieve this makes you wonder what would happen if we were able to not only balance out nature but also use the fundamentals of nature itself to progress the growth and evolution of the environment. To make it livier on this planet, to help nature become more self-sustaining or even create recoures through bio-engineering.
We would effectively be able to utilize the forces of nature to also work for our survival. Maybe contributing in amazing ways, like a more efficient magnetic field.

From the perspective of a timeline that stretches into millions of years of technological civilization other problems that must be tackled come into play. How do we protect ourselves against extreme solar outbursts from the sun? How would we survive an ice age? How would we survive an asteroid? To be able to actively think and tackle those problems would not only be amazing and scary but it would also mark our unity as a species. These problems can't be solved if we aren't united. Every individual, every child has a great inventive mind brimmed with idea's, dreams, love and ambition.

I want us to utilize all those talents, all those ideas and see how long we can last. I want us to stay for a very long time. I want to know that when other species look at our planet they are looking at our civilization as it was one billion year ago, when we were still bashing eachother's heads in with wooden clubs. I want them to realize that they are looking at the beginning of a civilization one billion years ago. And I want them to know that if they looked a little bit closer they would realize we are still there.

After those ten days I would step down and I would have wanted to create a world where no one would step up and take leadership. We would all be equal and united under this common goal.

Trying to find yourself isn't always the easiest way.
Trying to be someone you're not can work out for a while.
Trying to impress others just not to be alone is an option, but not the best.
Trying to avoid your problems will not make them disappear.
Trying to force someone to love you will not change their feelings, but instead you might be pushed away.
Trying  to hurt yourself will not solve anything and definitly will not take away the pain.
Trying too much actually can make everthing worse.

Instead trying to relax and trying to find yourself should be the solution.

DEAR DEPRESSION,

Thank you for always being by my side
No matter what I do, you´re always on my mind
A friend like you is really hard to find
I guess you´re just one of a kind

Whenever I´m feeling low
You just turn up and show
Me thinks I don´t want to know
But why though?... I thought you were my friend and not my foe...

Whenever I´m feeling good
You say "Stop that, instead you should
start thinking about the things that could
go wrong"...with things like this you ruined my whole childhood...

So stop taking all my energy...
Stop putting your hands on me!
There used to be light now darkness is all I see...
Since I met you nothing´s like it used to be.

I just want to lock myself behind my door
Because nothing can satisfy me anymore
Sports,Friends, and Food all Things I once adored
lost their meaining, leaving me feeling bored...

But wait... there is more than that
like I´m really really mad
at you for all the tears I shed
making me feel so sad, wasting days and days in bed

Thanks to you everything tastes the same...
Pizza,Burgers,Rice and Noodels - everything tastes the same...
You know how bad that is? It´s driving me insane
Thanks to you I have to cover up my sleeves in shame

A new Scar on my body and that everyday
Eventhough I say so; I'm not okay
So lost I can´t see a reason to stay
Please DEPRESSION why won´t you go away...?

When you say I´ve lost my hope you definitly not wrong...
But look I´m still alive... And one day I´ll be strong
enough to beat you... And it doesn´t matter how long
it takes, I have to keep on... My time has to come!


sincerely,
your best friend...

you think i forgot you this is not true......you think i can't still love you but i definitly do
missing you more with each passing day.......time cannot change the way i feel that's what i needed to say
the way that i feel i will not hide........i hold my head high when i think of you inside
do you remember how we felt together.......as we said we would stay forever
your blood forever flows in my veins.......it is not being beside you is why my heart it pains

If you want to be a human.
Be a real human.
Not an in-your- enduendo.
Not a parable.
Not a theory
Not a thesis
Got on a TH kick for a minute.

Definitly, not a metaphor.
Not to mention *******.
Then of course there is the "dreaded", analogy.

Like the  bible.
ONly real....