I got 99 problems but hip-hop ain't one.

"Poetry, that's a part of me, retardedly bop
I drop the ancient manifested hip-hop straight off the block"
Nas and Jigga beef was the first I heard of drama in the music industry-
fueled me as a youngin' crowned from my brother's love of it.
Fast forward to when the radio put me on-
in the garage, on my mongoose
I heard someone spitting through the stereo
didn't pay much mind until a high-pitched voice rang through.
"Through the wire-"
no "through the fire?"
I couldn't understand but this dude started rhyming
and speaking through the speakers at me
my hair raised up and I knew this was love-
smile on my face at first listen
never really heard anything like it.
I thought back to the first song like that I heard-
"Life's a ***** and then you die-"
knew that line all too well
resonation in my bones didn't feel so much like a stranger-
my young self started spitting around the older crowd
they looked down and smiled-
a sense of admiration.
Hip-hop was my way in my ticket to acknowledgment.
Started listening to Eminem before I was even 10.
5th grade on the bus rides to and from field trips
"Shut the **** up guys I'm trying to listen"
headphones in, finally found someone to relate
so many thoughts of suicide being taken away-
realized the radio wasn't really my thing
too much pop and not enough soul
the words they sang were nothing to me.
In the beginning hip-hop was just a facade I liked to play
so other people would notice and think I'm pretty cool
but somewhere along the line it took me over
bumping nas, em and pac through my stereo
mom looking in my room like
"where the **** did my daughter go?
she's listening to this ****, she's gotta get a grip-"
But when I hurt the music would listen
bass lines and samples running through my veins
didn't know much about hip-hop
except the way it made me feel..
Technology came abrupt and the computer was my safe haven
the runaway from the abuse I was experiencing
mommy and daddy fighting?
headphones in so I can't hear it.
crying through each verse
and then the chorus hits and I'm better
finally realized I wasn't alone in this hell hole.
Started up a myspace-
more room for discovery
Eazy-e some Biggie more Nas
and **** even some Jeezy.
Every word they spoke
became something that was apart of me.
"Poetry, that's a part of me, retardedly bop
I drop the ancient manifested hip-hop straight off the block."
Nas said it best-
old school rappers speaking to me before bed.
Then I discovered Cudi, more Kanye, andre 3k.  
thought about how I had to write like this
it was my destiny to manifest this passion
put it into my pen until I could learn to lavish
in the luxuries they could afford
not the riches but the rhyme schemes
and the way it helped me
again and again would listen until I got tired
notebooks full of rhymes
my life was on the line and it became wired
then came limewire and my mind blew up
there's an entire world of music I never knew-
download after download the music became me
so much more to go through
****** up my computer
virus to the hard drive
all my music's gone. ****.
Freaking out in my room at midnight
threw a chair, punched the wall
mom asking if i'm alright.
"*******, go away"
She thought the music was to blame
but without that **** is why it happened
never gave up on this **** called rappin'
wrote my first rhyme when I was in 5th grade
poetry turned to rhyme schemes
and samples I liked to play.
Passion turned to aggression
when everyone started spitting
thought this was me and no one elses
has to prove who I was to the masses.
High School came and I was
"The girl who rapped"
freestyle lunch sessions to secure it.
Voices from the crowd
"**** she murdered it".
Slipped up-
started on the pills
too many thoughts in my mind
too many demons to ****-
ran away from the hip-hop
turned that **** to heavy metal
pop-punk and punk rock.
Turned away my from my passion
and started writing poetry
stanzas, sibilance and sonnets
filled my insides.
I suffered without the classics
the dream began to fade away.
We moved-
became a recluse.
didn't eat for weeks
but this time money wasn't the issue.
Heard something bumpin' from the basement
my hair stood up when I heard that base hit
ran down like I was chasin' after my passion again
"what is this?"
my cousin laughed "Life Changes"
"who is it?"
"Wu-tang" he said to me
I bobbed my head and smiled once again
"Wu is indeed for the children"
he laughed and so did I.
Realized my love for hip-hop
would never actually die.
"Poetry, that's a part of me, retardedly bop
I drop the ancient manifested hip-hop straight off the block"

My heart thump not from being nervous
Sometimes I'm thinking God made me special here on purpose
So all the while 'til I'm gone make my words important so
If I slip away, if I die today the last thing you remember won't
Be about some apple bottom jeans with the boots with the fur
Baby how I dream of being free since my birth
Cursed but the demons I confronted would disperse
Have you ever heard of some **** so real
Beyond from the heart, from the soul you can feel

And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take
But please don't cry, just know that I have made these songs for you
And if I die before I wake I pray the lord my soul to take
'Cause I'm ready for a funeral

My mind runs I can never catch it even if I got a head start
God please help me I am feeling so alone way
I don't need to worry 'cause I know the world'll feel this *****
Blessing in disguise but I am not hiding who I am open your eyes bro
If I ever met you, I appreciate the love yo
Girls that I dated, it's ok I am not mad yo
Unless you stabbed me in the heart, no love **, this **** is so ill
Play it back from the top if you recognize real

And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take
But please don't cry, just know that I have made these songs for you
And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take
'Cause I'm ready for a funeral
And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take
So please don't cry, just know that I have made these songs for you
And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take
'Cause I'm ready for a funeral (I'm ready for a funeral, I'm ready for a funeral)

I think the end is mine to write (Cry For You, September)
Tell me darlin’ where do we begin? (Feel Good Drag, AnBerlin)
And if I die baby just know that I never got over you (Clocks Remix, Tito Lopez ft. Coldplay)
I’ll never give myself to another like I gave it to you (Rehab, Rihanna)
Cause anything worth my love is worth a fight (I’m Free, Kenny Loggins)
You got me lifted shifted higher than the ceiling (Sugar Sugar, Baby Bash ft. Frankie J)
Why deny it? It cannot wait I’m yours (I Won’t Say I’m In Love, Hercules) (I’m Yours, Jason Mraz)
Why don’t you sit right down and stay awhile? (Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?, She and Him)
We can share a cigarette cause we’re both fools (Yesterday, Atmosphere)
I can’t believe that’s what you said, I wonder am I sick? (Disco, Metro Station)
And all of these emotions are pouring out of me (Soundtrack 2 My Life, KiD CuDi)
Nothin’ heard nothin’ said, can’t even speak about it (Disturbia, Rihanna)
Cause when a heart breaks, it don’t break even (Breakeven, The Script)
I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore (The Fear, Lily Allen)
And I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore (The Fear, Lilly Allen)
Take me to all that we had, the good and the bad (Never Forget You, Lupe Fiasco ft. John Legend)
These tears didn’t care, they just hung in the air and refuse to fall (Crooked Teeth, Death Cab For Cutie)
This is the way it’s really going down, is this how we say goodbye? (What Goes Around, J.T.)
Know that you could set the world on fire (Walking On Air, Kerl)
If you are strong enough to leave your doubt (Walking On Air, Kerl)
But baby, you make me better (You Make Me Better, Ne Yo ft. Fabulous)
And it makes me feel so fine I can’t control my brain (Island in the Sun, Weezer)
I keep on runnin’ and nothin’ helps, I can’t get away from you (Erase Me, KiD CuDi ft. Kanye West)
We can’t rewind now, we’ve gone too far (The Internet Killed the Video Star, The Limousines)
And all I could do was think about sleeping next to you (Reflections, Atmosphere)
No matter where I am, no matter what I do, I’m always coming back home to you (Always Coming Back Home to You, Atmosphere)

"The lonely stoner seems to free her mind at night"
the words echo through the halls of an
empty brain
A stereo plays the anthem of the ***-smoking archetype
But it's reality: Can she free her mind
if there's nothing that's tied down?

My socks are a conversation starter,
They have more to say than me.
I request a Kid Cudi song
To the kid with his laptop open to YouTube,
Pretending to be a DJ.
Someone takes a long pull on the hookah.

I discuss True Blood in the backseat of a car with a girl from Hungry.
I drink a Capri Sun.
Eat some Ritz.

My mind is sober and waiting for my body to catch up.

Cudi, Miller, My skrillex killer.
My only tune is dreamin high,
I'm just sober it's a lie, Got my tack my only tune,
iss ok be home in june,
see my boo so soon no doom,
Its a relapse she my trigga I collapse  wit out my *****.
has the tips we seen the trips.
Keep ya real don't give ya lips,
         Your'e friend that blow your'e friend the ***,
don't lose your'e pride don't lose that glow,
I'd feal the blame.
My heart the shame., Restart the button and earn the "name"

I'm sorry hailey, Leavin nd diseven
                      Gettin lost nd takin cost,
Ya boo jesse Mckush
       for  my  sister  hailey   *haglund

Super Sound Waves


They ask what can Lloyd do
What can Lloyd what can Lloyd do
I'm tell I'm tell I tell you
I'mma tell you imma tell you
This is the truth this is the truth

So y'all try shove out
Disregard me
You can't unarm me
You and what army
Can't handle ,y tsunami
My tsunami

These are my waves my super sound wave
My super sound waves my super sound waves
My super sound wave
Sound wave

They ask what can Lloyd do
What can Lloyd what can Lloyd do
I'm tell I'm tell I tell you
I'mma tell you imma tell you
This is the truth this is the truth

Don't count me out
Miscounted
forgot about him but

These are my waves my super sound wave
My super sound waves my super sound waves
My super sound wave
Sound wave

Don't wave at me ,we ain't even on the same boat
How you waste money on clothes , when barely stay afloat
I'll pepper your boy and leave him in the ocean covered in salt
You say you're broke , I'm glad that's your fault
Have had enough these questions , and people laughing at me
Well it's time a lesson , please wait and sea
Once I  have the buzz , all the honeys will claim to be
In deep everlasting love , but they catch  the L and I say k g
I have my heart on my sleeve , with the soul on my feet
So by cutting of my legs  is the only time I'll see defeat
The only time I'll see my feat
I'll **** your dawg , then support PETA , have you ***** on a leash
They didn't think I go ignorant , well are your surprised
They had Unresonable doubt , and blueprinted my demise
If the demons are all around , my angels are in the sky
Armed like Dante with just sound , the Devils may cry
Tears of happiness as they know  I can't be stopped
Khaled has they key but I'll brake these locks
They don't support the weird ones , they heard my knock
They just shunned me as the alien , so I'm attacking the block
Waves are  just into tsunami tides , embracing your ears
Waiting for big men run and hide , as I'm the one they should fear
You don't sound like you're British , Martain are weird
If you won't let me drive , I destroy your roads , I can steer
I make a path for all the weird ones like me
Who grew up on Kanye ,  Rocky & Cudi
Not Skepta or Stormzy
That's wasn't a diss , both super talented but not for me
I could never at 140 to the beat
If there's a issue with that , roll thafe and war me
They encourage me to positive , well tell me how
Every time speak the truth they want to **** the cow
They want to go to jeweller with 25 down , i go with 2500 wow
Harvesting through my line hidden means hard to plough
I take care of the lyrics like how you'll water a crop
Your bars are as careless as nines djs mixtape drops
I'll name drop who I ******* want , until my hip don't hop
No I don't think I'm rapper, I actually care about sonics  
I control sound waves,  all these mcs think I've lost it
Maybe I have , **** can you find my mind
Ever since I've lost it I've found what's inside so



They ask what can Lloyd do
What can Lloyd what can Lloyd do
I'm tell I'm tell I tell you
I'mma tell you imma tell you
This is the truth this is the truth


These are my waves my super sound wave
My super sound waves my super sound waves
My super sound wave
Sound wave

E shita lekuren bashke me kockat
E dhashe me cmim te lire
U lehtesova nga nje barre e rende
E mora udhen tutje si era...
Vetja s'mu duk rrugac,as shenjt
Per cudi u ndjeva me teper njeri!

to
purple skies
late school nights
to
the tunnel under the bridge filled with our names
they painted over last week
to
heartbreak
and malt liquor
to
skinned knees
and ****** teeth
to
the lies we tell our parents
and sun burnt chest
to
Kid Cudi
and Kanye West
to
summer reading the bible
and a book about mythology
to
Jesus and Hera
their perfect harmony
to
green eyes
to
truth
to
shoegaze
to
bass
to
slick roads
too ****** to skate
to
spitting verse in the backseat
to
remembering family
to
rain and how it ruins everything
to
never letting your ex ruin everything
to
Sunday sun
and mosquito nights
puffy and swollen
and always multiplying
to
the concrete embedded in our cheeks
to
every firecracker
reminding us
that we're free

College kids drink.
It's not the blood of Christ.
And when it is,
they still seem to abuse it.
The church doors are locked.
And my parents called.
And I don't know who these people are
And we're all drunk,
and it feels like skipping time.
Not in a grand sense of the word,
a 5 years ago I was in high-school sense of the word,
but where time doesn't exist, and there we are/

The night shines like gasoline oil.
But we're crammed together.
So I take a walk in bare feet in the mud.

I walk by guys who want to fight
Who smash bottles of Sky.
Shards exploding.

And I want my bed
and I walk home
a mile, then two, then it's three a.m.
Half jogging, drunk walking,
tipsy jogging, singing songs,
car lights are shooting starring
past me.

And no one drives me home this time
and I just want my bed
and I keep singing
some kid cudi song.

And then I'm home back in my bed
and I drink glasses of water
and then strip and get under the warm layers
and cool ceiling fan wind and drift asleep.

And I wake and drink more water.
Then fall asleep again.

Every time I see her,
Smiling so innocently,
She never is looking, unless its already past me.
I feel like telling her to stop,
Stop faking, stop being nice.
Because every time she shines, My light gets a little darker.
Selfishly I almost cry at night, listenin’ to Kid Cudi,
Hopenin’ maybe if I’m sad enough,
She’ll get in a time machine and just come clean.
Well chaos theory says its gonna happen eventually,
But until then, I think I’ll just give a word of advice for all you wayward women.
Take it from me, take it from personal heartbreak.
It is a thousand times better to say no,
Than to say yes and not really mean it.

everyone feels the world pouring down.
everything lost,  nothing feels worse on these days of rain
to lose what you love the most and look to the grey sky
scared, and broken, you look as the birds fly
  
salty tears roll down my cheek
god can you feel my pain?
won't you please stop the rain?
but pain persists false trials and misfortunes
and all of the people can't see
all of the darkness that resides in me
  
that was when I was young but now I am grown
I've felt the rain and now Ill tell god to leave it the same
so god can keep the rain and ill deal just with the pain
As the only way to sunshine is through the hard rain.
  
(inspired by kid cudi, felt by me and I'm sure many others)

mom walks in my room*

mom: im so ******* disappointed
            in you!
me:
mom: you ******* *******!

walks out

me: ( slits wrists, over doses and
         listens to kid cudi. )

parallel sympathy endeavor
peaceful and untroubled
achieve ballerina twists
comforting serenity
pull a fast one on
elixir sip sucker stiff
tiny hornswoggle mulct
grandfather clock rich rock
chimney chalk ziggy pop
sirius kid dolls cudi feet tall
artists whirl revolution vet
wolf convincing sheep curve
non believers starting flames
horrid instant ways even livid
fears queen fairy dust spiral
wick gladness warlock king
abide nostrum wake flesh
archangel passion feans
world web crack addicts
mankind teach nine
nail soundness round
raiden uppercut fortify illegitimate
swine heedless being being beaten
headless ***** eyes hub pivot
nerve endings eager enthusiasm hitch
pitch outermost central swain free gist
intrigue archbishop market black illicit
red hot chili peppers implicate explicit
inundating problematic seniority cast
systems hook boom haze tomb prune
embrace bravehearts impale in arms
side by side shield elastic coats grace

Summertime Alaska
Sky lift up to the moon
Thick cold ice mold, depends on a boom
Wannasy the universe expand in your room?
Can't breathe on your knees, escape from the gloom.
Spaceship to the world never mind what you see
It's what they hide in the cage, according to me
As they stare from a distance laugh in their face
Were on the moon man floating through outer the space
Don't kiss then tell this is all that we have
A deep crew of assassins in a pimped out van
No seats but a rug and it's designed for Abu
We're defying and implying almost all of the rules
Keep it beepin like a monitor eye's to the sky
We don't really like thermometers
Ice in the pi
This is Lithium iron I call it Kurt Cobain
Li Fe for the dreary insane
As the drip turns to pride
Just lay back in the plane
Not a jet but dimensions deep in your brain
In the light of a spectrum cleverly made
Mr. Cudi's got the sidy down right to the base
In the language it is written from the A to the G
With an E emphasizing future theories to be
I'm an MC they like to call me D-A-N
I'll be breathing in the Crush
Sitting Squared in a Van
Melancholy and Serene while I'm rolling the loud
Sound melts like the doughnut's that roll on the ground
Livid, mister fog pouring out like a boom
I'm a twister of the doobie and pearl's resume
And the chain is insane its ******* gold like an arch
I'll be passed out cold from the ember's to march
and a number that we wrote like a song
Deception is a 9 and a number that we wrote like a song
And a number that we wrote like a song
A number that we wrote like a song
We wrote like a song
Like a song

Are we gonna get to a point
Baby, angel, love bug, love
Pet names encircle the wreath around my neck
Like I got private and intimate things to say
But with uncurling fingers they whimper and reach
Outstretched intertwined with my own self wit, reassurance
My room is a battlefield.

Boxes piled high
We snorted ******* laughing and carrying on into the night
Play and hum that Kid Cudi sweet goo louder
We wanna drop our backs and our shoulders
I tell my brothers and my sisters
I got ****** and played the harmonica
In the golden south.

My eyes are glazed over and weary
Hand that bottle of serotonin over
Not enough smoothies to give me heaven
Wanna play and frolic in the sun
But with heavy leaded pencils
I mark spots and electricity pox
Like all the times I threw the letter
"Z"
Ripped a tear right through your face
And waved goodbye along with the fruit flies
You must say "Forever ever. Forever ever"
At long last.

But I can't teach a class
With my slenderness and blonde demure
I wish my ******* were bigger
But thats part of my charm
I echo slate and bohemian sculpted lines of
Multicolored witty *** chalk.

You work today, training day 2
We best friends, we mean everything
I got this big meeting tonight, Wednesday too
I don't know what my future look like
But you say standin' outside it look hella successful
Mondays, oh Mondays.

I have to pack some more now
And gaze out the window wishing my teeth were sharper
On this lean Tuesday
I hope you're surviving the post
******* and Maple whiskey,
Ride.

There is no such thing as fine poetry
Poetry does not equate to fine wine
While you may revel in the sweetness of antiquity
Marveling at the brilliance of Shakespare, Marcus Aurelius, and Keats
That does not mean you'll taste bitterness in the back of your mouth
When indulging oneself in the works of poets like Akala, Grieves, or Kid Cudi
Also more widely known as "rappers"

How does one fail to see the beauty and the poetic essence found in their stunning elocution?
Rap is nothing more than poetry over beat
It is thoughts turned vocal following the rhythm of the heart
Both working in cadence with one another
Thus giving birth to art

Verse 1:
We try to find answers looking towards the sky
All wanna know what happens when we die
As much as I'd like to sprout wings and to the heavens fly
Ain't no halo reserved for me when I say goodbye
Long ago I once believed that lie
Misunderstanding losses
Asking why
Demanding a reason for grief in my heart
Only heard silence
Faith fell apart
Sometimes asked why it's so hard to believe
Say maybe the rest of the world is just too easy to deceive
It's true when they tell you ignorance is bliss
Truth isn't what we want to hear so instead we just dismiss

Hook:
If dying before I wake
Give the darkness my soul to take
Please do not cry
Know that I
Forever am thankful
If I die while I'm asleep
Soul I give the reapers to keep
I'm ready for my funeral

Verse 2:
Beneath the starlight contemplating life
Restless heart beating the question why
Wondering in Morse code if I will be all right
Stuck wandering line
Between wrong and right
But don't trust the route everybody else takes
Hear outside opinions about decisions I should make
In the end do what's best for my heart's sake
Eyes and ears will have to learn from my own mistakes
No matter how high flown eventually I'll fall
Mind is in a race with my feet
Both seem to hardly crawl
Below surface of my skin have trouble dealing with it all
Hanging hopes above my head until I crash into a brick wall

Hook x2

Outro:
I'm ready for
For the funeral x3
I'm ready for
Ready for it
Ready for the funeral

Peace is something that starts with me
Unfold the layers letting out what i could be
Cudi telling me to just be free
Now im so vulnerable i might be seen
I  might be heard i might intervene
Or i might sit back and explore the scene
Feel my way through waters with sharks intrigued
Seeing what im made of when i convene
My thoughts together and paint my stream
Let the colours flow like a masterpiece
And let you understand hurt like it pains you deep
So you can perservere and close in on dreams
Instead of folding up and getting rid of all belief
Self loathing til you find a piece
And let it scream in your ear til youre at peace

Checking on old friends
in a new year-
means getting met
by a Memorial Page

Remembering you
Getting blazed listening to Cudi
While we turnt up and laughed as our friends ****** in the next room;

In the pursuit of happiness, you were gone and forgotten too soon
Until social media flashes memories
Between things it tries to sell me
And this legacy-
It’s that time of the year I’d be at ISU
getting high with the Man on the Moon

Living with a too late afterthought -
I should have been there for you
Life gets in the way
What can I say
I’m always on my own *******
I’m sorry if I ever let you down
I just wish I didn’t find out you were dead through Facebook;

It’s a new year of isolation
Check on your ******* friends;