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Mateuš Conrad Jan 2020
someone once said: only the natives can be designated
free speech...
the immigrants can have their dog
and let it bark, along with whatever thinking comes
their way...

exploring the last remains of thought -
well then... suit and boot me up for some "thinking"
as i extend it into writing...

if i were of the native stock... "elsewhere":
most probably h'america or australia... even in italy
having tea with mussolini i'd be:
an expat... as an outsider among outsiders
but among my sameness-namesakes of surnames
akin to jones and smith:

i will never be an "immigrant" among...
it's not even a voice of cocern, this little voice of
mine...
an englishman who decides to move
to h'america is an expatriate for the native
englishman who stayed behind...
he's never an immigrant...

perhaps other nations view the people that left
them in such a positive light?
where else to emigrate to that doesn't
speak basic english with a tinge of
a "welcoming" plethora of accents?

proudly having expatriated...
or having to have had to humbly emigrated...
bark bite and tail in tow...
my the luck of being an expatriate...
readily prepared with a francophile basis...
e.g., or some other: less frost-bitten
idealism as the work ethic of:
work work work...

we know the english immigrants
as expatriates... but i doubt that people
from where i from would call me...
an expatriate... they'd call me...
eh... hangman noose... a deserter...
god forbid the fact that i somehow managed
to integrate... but then found myself wondering...

have, have integrated into... "what"?!
today i was truly astounded...
after all... Romford, Essex... England...
can boast about a few things...
notably? it's the past place you can buy vinyl
without amazon.co.uk...
you can actually play the buyer and the person
that loiters with his shadow...
flicking through a dictionary of sorts...
finding a record...

i actually left the house for ulterior motives...
but i succumbed to the allure...
and as i walked the January 2nd 2020 highstreet
in Romford...
i heard english... as a spoken language...
twice in the pedestrian commute...
and of course when it came to a lingua franca
scenario of buying or selling something...
otherwise:

perhaps i retained my primitive instincts
and the tongue and should have left it with a ghost
of me back in the clarifying vicinity of
an airport 50 miles from Warsaw...
i have bigger things to worry about though:
how i should start learning Romanian...
even though: i thought bilingualism was a good
idea?
it's not?

not among the natives could i ever be
an expatriate...
an ever: never... like any more thesaurus
sharpening would do the trick to balance
the optics of "perspective"...

if it wasn't a mistake...
it has still been a purchase:
freddie hubbard on the trumpet,
jackie mclean on the alto sax,
kenny drew on piano,
doug watkins on bass
and pete la roca on drums...

the only reason as to why i bought
a gramaphone was to buy the only cheap vinyl
there is... jazz...
to escape the earphones...
to find the complete volume of space
that would later be deemed:
confined to a room... cell... or some alternative
variation: but... oh jeez...
how wrong it was of me...

make a note: alto sax jazz is not for you...
remember: alto sax jazz is not for you...

a sensation of being a foreigner in
an already double-dutch foreign sense of land...
anything that drops from clinching
to the London transport system
with the trains and the tubes and buses
is: england...
the england of my youth where i remained
like that... dunce in the ****** tunes cartoons
interlude...

and what of my citizenship on paper?
wave a passport around
like a benchmark or an otherwise easy
accent-identifier?
perhaps i don't even know:
Bristolian - my best guess with this acquired
tongue...

but at least buying jazz is getting easier...
freddie hubbard a known name...
but... no... alto sax jazz is not for me...
now it figures...
i can get away on a whim when
a trumpet solos... but not when an alto sax
solos... i really can't stomach it...
will i give this Bluesnik record back?
no, i need a testament -
i have bought something
but the self-reflection is free...

there's only so much classical music escapism
you can try -
before long you realise that the people
listening to classical music...
mostly... when they make requests...
want "something soothing"...
want "something jovial"...
or usually it's a piece of music that has
been attached to a movie...
classical music - apparently doesn't feed
people a subtle stream of images...
and it's obvious: those requests are not phoned
in on by blind people...

imagine... the ****** of F... when you have ⠋
to work with...
what is an sunrise... a sunset but a dash
of colour... a spring of the heavens
an autumn of the heavens...
but my my... in this inverted listening of jazz...
⠙⠑⠑⠏
⠃⠇⠥ ⠑    DEEP BLUE...

if i were blind: and came to the pearly gates...
i'd ask for letters: primo pronto!
later i'd worry about colours and shapes...
as i'd probably stick to my first passion
and hearing this fathomless shapeless
sounds that... abide to no lineage with a recant
of a triangle's use of 90°...

otherwise... what if you've been fed
the: classical music when listened to when a child
will increase your i.q. -
but what are the chances that you will:
"regress" from listening to classical
music and take to jazz?
perhaps because jazz has to be felt,
it has to be heard, first,
rather than... the silence and scribbles
of a composer at his desk -
where a classical music composition
is very much like writing:
that whole a prior shabang!
none of the a posteriori zigzagging
of impromptu and jazz?

one thing is certain... i'm not going to
be a fan of alto sax jazz...
sonny clark on piano - yes...
art blakey on drums - yes...
kenny burrell on guitar - yes...
alto sax no... ah... but give me tenor sax
and... no please no big bang jazz
equivalent to thelonious monk...
at least jazz gives you pedestrian tastes
and whims...
nothing akin to bowing at the altar
of a Beethoven: or talking lightly of
the man - "the man"...

and who the hell said that being
objectivity "works all the time"
that objectivity "runs the marathon"...
alto sax jazz is pedestrian music...
don't get me wrong...
you want to walk down a busy street
and you want to drown the sounds
of progress: no horses sneezing,
no horses' hooves playing tic-tac-toe
chess on cobweb stones...
alto sax jazz is your take-out
walk-through...
but when you're hunched in a chair
and pecking at a keyboard with
ten good beaks of the tips of your fingers...

again: how do the hands rest before
the keyboard?
the right hand:
index middle, pinky and thumb...
the ring finger is used for the: delete button...
a revision - the pinky does the enter -
and the cascade follows...
the left hand?

primarily the index and *******...
the thumb is always attached to space...
shared with the right hand's *******
to space,
i can't remember if i ever used my ring
or pinky finger of my left arm...

so much for inverted chiromancy...
the polacks will never give me the wings
to be an expatriate...
i will be forever: he who abandoned
that land running with milk and honey...
but... look at how they stand behind those
from england that decided to go "elsewhere"...
they are not immigrants...
they are... expatriates...
have nothing filthy them it comes to
the connotation...
it's not sad it's not funny it's: somewhere
"in between"...

because we know that the only russians
that ever make it out of russia
are the oligarchs... and by that standard
of "sentiment": they're always welcome...
who wouldn't welcome the pharaohs without
giza pyramid ambitions of construction?!
passing chalk as cheese -
and passing... ink for blood...
perhaps i haven't sweated enough to be allowed
to write but as little as this...

there's always this sense of alienation
among the germanic tribes of "israel":
europe... even if they are the scots or the welsh
suckling at the teats of romulus & remus' lupa...
as the old saying goes among the slavic people
when "integrating" into a germanic-esque society -
by the time you have integrated...
there's this dog-**** pile of Babylon left...
and the germans are: "nowhere"!

the saying goes via:
if you go among the crows...
you must croak their croak...

here's to flying high as an imitation seagull!
brazen: into this arable land...
that's being teased by the Thames estuary...

passing through a Warsaw train station
i noticed the immigrants / the expatriates
on the eastern front...
mostly mongols...
notably the ukrainians...
but now in england i'm starting to think
in concrete terms... better start learning
Romanians...
and on the street: you can't see a focus of
who's here and who isn't here...
back east the Roma people stood out
like a sore thumb or a voodoo plum and...
that didn't bother the locals since they were
meshed like glue...
but, here, in england?
everyone's a sore thumb a voodoo plum...
because the natives,
the blessed idiosyncratic professional
eccentrics have left and...
i'm not going to be the first chasing them down...

London the only and last bastion is
overrun with the whole lot of us...
well: the "us" vs. "them" mentality...
don't get me wrong... i'll still listen to the concerns
of the peripheries... in this cest pool
of immigrants, degenerates...
old people who "forgot" to move...
the lunatics the in-betweeners and the old guard
clinging on...
perhaps, after all... english was a very
accomodating language...
it wouldn't take a genius to learn it from scratch
being thrown into the deep end of the pool
aged 8...
who was mute aged 8 going to school
being moved from "east" europe to this island
with... no prior to linguistic connection?
moi...

and now look at me... i'm teasing myself
with... sordid welsh as if i were ever the posterboy
for welsh nationalism...
scottish nationalism? eh... if they were to retain
their gaellic roots...

expansion:
the longing for those who have left:
in the anglo-sphere - expatriate...
the abhoring sense of those who arrive -
immigrant...
otherwise... the english are always
and everywhere: welcome...
hence the expatriate status of those
who have left their native land...
even in h'america: a shared language:
to be an immigrant... while speaking
the same language?! how preposterous!

the difference between eastern style
comedy presentation and western style
comedy presentation: on stage...

the eastern folk prefer cabaret: theatre dialogue
montages...
the western folk prefer stand-up:
monologue samuel beckett esque
performances...
'woe i... stand alone in this infinite
space and... find others to laugh with...'

- perhaps we're not being less funny because
we're lowering our "i.q.": yes, the we are...
we are... lowering...
i find lee evans to be funny...
a laurel and hardy weren't exactly funny
by modern comedy standards that:
it's only funny if it's intelligent...
if there's a crossword puzzle at the end of "it"...

perhaps pride is the shackle...
and ham... what ever happened to self-depreciating
humor that managed to somehow
elevate you as also having a sense
of humor:
do intelligent men even laugh
at something that isn't a word-play or
a corset of wit?
perhaps we're experiencing a drying of wip...
perhaps the jokes are only supposed
to come: days after as a form of
reflection on the sigma canvas:
the joke has to exist outside the performer
and the stage... it needs to be: a live-experience...
it has to take on DASEIN qualities?
it has to be internalised?

that: oh yeah... that's funny...
perhaps the same thing has to be observed
and it can't be retold in an impromptu
fashion shackled to a stage?
the stage is the new camp-fire?
i thought so too... about the television...

as: here's to slagging off everything that's
being published online bypassing
the editorial process of selection...
well... if it weren't for all the seriousness
surrounding internet banking...
and internet shopping...
pen to paper...
******* clinching a ripped roll
of cushioning paper
and a pseudo-***** imitation
for a wipe while massaging my prostate
over the enlightened prospect
of dropping the blitzkrieg plump-dump-plum
into an echoing lake in the ceramic basin...
otherwise...

a seanse with that moment of realisation:
"something is happening to us
collectively"... it's as if: we're under a spell...
oh i was under a spell today...
watching alec guinness in the fall of the roman
empire...
and as coming from a people
that were never conquered by rome?
on this fine fine island that was...
well... my hopes were also high for
the conquests of the mongol empire...
and the remains of it in the form of the tatars
in crimea...

here are my tattoos... it's hard to break from them,
it's hard to wash them away...
but at least i can attest:
my brain might be all fat and sponge and
electricity... but there's some skull and skin
to be had of it...
otherwise... why would the year 1066
be important for me... why would the magna carta
be important for me?
i too have my years in tattoos on this big brian
of mine...

otherwise there's that copernico-darwinian
surge of: journalistic science...
i still find it staggering that darwinism continues
to capture the imagination of people...
"of people"... only in Wittgenstein was left
alone in finding that Copernicus did something
astounding... this surge of "awakening"
via darwinism: this statistical bombardment
like it was some tabloid journalism:
throwing a pebble at a mountain while
also ushering in a mantra: grow by
a poppy's seed added height! grow!

perhaps i'm just jealous...
among the polacks i will never be an expatriate...
what a jealous people...
an englishman who moves to france...
comes 20 year later...
he will have never experienced
the mark of cain: immigration "humphrey bogart"...
he or she moved to france...
perhaps to italy...
i remember being in greece and...
i was nothing when i said i was ******:
but with british citizenship! to add...
so what?
well... so what greece...
i latched onto some north africans
and went to **** away the night
in some strip-bar where i had
two strippers either head o' mine...
and it was constellations galore...
grandmother Etna said:
rest here, among the smooches poor child...

i borrowed Etna from when Aeneas
"left off"...
****'s sake... this is the Meditarrean
and not the Baltic? where is the amber
the whiskey and the leverage of gratations
of time?!

i will agree. Macedonia come night traffic
of quicksilver tinging?
if the metal is cheap and you douse it in some gold?
a mountain dripping fresh from some quicksilver
from the moon peering at it?
objectivity what?

the finite plateau of snow-riddled Serbia...
and perhaps that's because these people
speak their own language...
and have so... and i'm just the next
"english" tourist...
a jack kerouac americanism and:
oh sure! sure!
spectacular fly-over country tourism!
everything's so so different!
and yet all so oh so much the same!

darwinism was going to run the 5000 meter
race... it's currently running the 10000 meter
race... god help it in running the marathon
of still pretending: old news is new news...
i can't distinguish between darwinism
and copernican discovery...
only in the english-speaking world
would this discovery not escape a criticism
from ancient greece and some, some predecesor!

wouldn't anyone just bore of darwinism
if they were told: over and over again:
the copernican "reality"?
a scientific fact is... akin to a religious dogma...
until... it becomes regurgitated with
enough time, with enough journalism and...
tabloid wind... and after a while...
it's only worthwhile to be spoken to
amnesia peoples of the world: unite!
it's hardly "stupid" or "intelligent"...
more or less overlooked...
because a pebble thrown at a mountain:
is... no added mountain to behold...
conventional wisdom is the only wisdom
that there ever was made to be made:
available...

nonetheless, the circumstance stands...
unless from the slavic hemisphere
of europe...
unlike any other circumstance: other than
the one given, among islanders...
among continent builders akin
to australia and h'america...
the post-racial societies of post-colonial
spain in south america?
ever wonder why the brazillians don't
look for inspiration from the portugese
when it comes to football?
you'd think: those yanks better have
the best football team in the world...
they haven't exactly looked back...
back at "us": oh god... tea afternoon and cricket...
baseball wha'?
basketball? "football"?
why are "we" looking forward and "they're"
looking back?
perhaps i should learn some spanish and
get some insinuation about:
the argentinian sense of lack when looking
back into spain...

or what else is there to be had?
move to Greenland... admire Denmark...
**** it: do the whole stretch and find
some locals on the Faroe Islands...
perhaps i too will find a tomorrow...
but tomorrow i will find: sobering up
and having to deal with: everything beside jazz...

mmm... "delayed gratification" prospects...
seven kings: canon palmer catholic school...
when boys are educated alongside girls...
what if i went to Ilford County High?
what if i were born to immigrant parents
and wasn't an 8 year old immigrant?
what if i went to the Ilford Ursulines?
the all-girls school... the former, Ilford County High?
what chances of me being an intellectual
******?

what, oh the chances!
perhaps praying: segregated... is a tad extreme?
but perhaps ******-exclusion policies:
teaching boys throughout their puberty
as segregated from girls in the same hormonal
development "range" is...
well! how else! you take a boy and girl
and you put them into the hormonal cocktail!
just because it's in a shared educational
environment... why these teenage pregnacies
you ask?
i wouldn't ask such blunt questions...
not since the genius of Copernicus
couldn't attract these...
psychological left-over intelligenstia clingers...
that darwinism has allowed...
what it darwinism and journalism?
everything! the ant as the ego
inside the mind of an ape...
the dormant tapeworm embryo
inside the mind of an ant:
with siesmic consequence of a disturbance
of the collective hive network...

borrow too much from an ape...
borrowing from an ape is one thing...
it's the borrowing from all other
animals: with the ape as the backdrop
that's truly bothersome!
at least religious spew the same facts
over and over again...
scientific dogma? who keeps track?
tomorrow might be the next:
butter vs. margarine controversy!
what sort of "religion" is science
(it's not a religion... if it's not...
why does it have to cohabit a bed
with journalism then, to spew "new",
"improved" facts, then?!)
when... it's so ******* finicky!

look via the ape long enough:
it won't matter whether it's a geocentric
of a heliocentric system that
reigns above your head, no torso,
a pickled spine...
legs and arms floating about like:
an octopus experiencing spasms
pickled in brine...

perhaps these are the zenith years of
darwinistic popularity...
perhaps like the copernican popularity...
there will come a time of:
fatalism... that somehow all of this
is... inevitable...

i see one answer: this cage of grammar
this cage of whatever this god made human
pressures me into complying to...
to the last typo! i will stand against it!
without caging me into a use of emoji or
some other hieroglyphic purse of:
shortened "thinking"...

the "seven silences" might have passed
around my presence that i dare not
call it: in concrete - figure...
and still my eigth silence to unmask
nothing more than a mask...

who are these immigrants, these tight brewed
broods, these furrow brows
representing the native pensive "squint":
of anything beside the eyes and a thought
of h. p. lovecraft?
perhaps inside of europe:
but as ever... without a russian passport...
without a russophobia that's
a tickling hard-on... the "in-between-land"...
perhaps the balkans...
who are we... to these germans and quasi-germans?

we use their tongue, their zunge...
their everything they will otherwise allow themselves
to deny: perhaps this is not Dublin,
this is not Glasgow this is not Cardiff...
perhaps this is not Italy,
this is not France...
perhaps this is "europe" as long as
Scandinavia is involved...

woe a we unto us: the viking Rus...
or some lent word of lost vogue...
last time i heard:
these northern ******* are in no favour
of treating the Spaniards or the Greeks
as their equals...
as long as they have rich arab pimps
race their lamborghini brute ******
down... knightsbridge...

then! and only then! iz ist europa "reconquista"!
"reconquista"... i'll defend these poor polacks
that didn't think it...
"necessary" to only learn english in order
to comply to the global dictum of neu-communist
internationalism...
- what, they didn't teach you you stupid
**** that it only took to learn from english?!
- last time i heard... not teachings polish
to a canape of anything beside the french,
the spanish... also worked!

english as a language is oh so accomodating...
the people will react like antibiotics,
naturally... enough of darwinism and you'll
be found, bound, to having to reference it...
past a de facto menu:
and more like a subjectivity...
there's only so much truth that can be stated...
before fiction has to reply...
because... how many regurgitated facts
can be regurgitated...
before the desert of fiction and...
there's only the fact of a bottle of water...
that remains...
and there's not impetus to walk toward
an oasis...
a fata morgana is hardly a scientific experience...
when experienced...
it's something associated with
a desert and within the desert must either:
live... or die...

what if etymology was to become the new
standard for journalism...
what if one were to escape this contant
bombardment of darwinism...
like it wasn't the next new vogue akin
to the copernican "revolution"?

is that even possible?
whenever i return to Poland...
esp. in Warsaw... i'm a deserter...
i'm not an expatriate...
the native english call those who left
with a sense of longing...
somehow: or at least that's the leftover...
the expatriates from the inside-out
perspective... never the immigrants...

i'm an immigrant and...
a paper citizenship is: no citizenship at all...
a passport is only worth a passport
at a border crossing...
in between the everyday daily affairs?
'where are you from?'
****... 'Bristol?!'...
i'm hardly going to speak
the cockney cockers or an essex schlang...
am i? ***!
all but ******* plumbers and church pulpit
mongers... and some over-ripe
riddle fruits: if not simply left
bottles of wine for the bears...

the first part though, bothers me...

someone once said: only the natives can be designated
free speech...
the immigrants can have their dog
and let it bark, along with whatever thinking comes
their way... in mere thinking...
and a dog barking...

the natives will only have a freedom of speech...
what if an immigrant becomes a citizen?
just asking...
what if an immigrant is granted a citizen
status?
well then... i am your humble example
of a civic nationalist...
such a confusing term...
it must be: for the natives...

oh ****... what language am i using?
the language of the... natives!
rubric civitas!
civic nationalism is reserved for:
those that came from abroad...
i guess the ethno-nationalists never made
this distinction clear:
watching their contemporaries leave their
native pit of woe...
and they would never call them:
deserters... only... only... expatriates...
after all... aren't we in the postmortem of ancient Rome?!
isn't this the time when the remnant
english come out and glorify being
the conquered people of this: lettering?

what is civic nationalism?
what is learnt, integrated nationalism...
this is civic nationalism...
how about the english forget about something,
like solving crosswords...
esp. among the middle-classes...
and let's envision their globalist dream!
let them learn a second language
and let us all become bilingual!
oh no... not polyglots... just bilingual!

i can't be an ethno-nationalist...
em... because (a) (b) and (c)?
aren't the post-colonial commonwealth
remnants of the empire the sort
civic-nationalists there's talk of?
what language am i writing in?
hebrew?! mandarin?!

ethno-natioanlism and its tribalism...
civic-nationalism and its state...
where does the church fit into all of this?
it's like not being an amuptee but
nonetheless being prescribed a "missing limb"...
the **** would i need a third arm for?
wilt the third leg allow me to run faster?!

i guess the term ethno-nationalist is
conflated with civic-nationalist in the ethno-nationalist
realm of "debate"...
a civic-nationalist is your casual parlance
h'american patriot...
patriotism in h'america: nationalism (still)...
in europe...
if we have to: hello, my name is: bob
do it all over again with the squares
and dictum assertions and what not attached...
between the ethno-nationalists and
the civic-nationalists...
the inter-nationalists...

i'm a civic-nationalist because:
i fear people need concrete examples...
i will not move back to Poland...
except on the holidays...
to visit my grandparents...
which is why i have retained the labour
of a native tongue... and "identity"...
i will remain in England...
until England becomes: Alle-Land...
and even when all these
ethno-nationalists ******* to Australia...
and become civic-nationalists over there...
well: over there good luck!

why would anyone ask an ethno-nationalist
the question: are you a civic-nationalist or?
civic- implies:
i'm a Brit from a grand "beyond":
circa 3000km away...
civic is a bewildering prefix for the nationalist
of a ethno- persuasion...
it really is... esp. when this ethno-nationalist
doesn't believe in the existence of
expatriates... that he would remain... "stuck"...
and that somehow... ethno-kin could come
and replace... those kin that left: "in good faith"...

savvy?!
Ô temps miraculeux ! ô gaîtés homériques !
Ô rires de l'Europe et des deux Amériques !
Croûtes qui larmoyez ! bons dieux mal accrochés
Qui saignez dans vos coins ! madones qui louchez !
Phénomènes vivants ! ô choses inouïes !
Candeurs ! énormités au jour épanouies !
Le goudron déclaré fétide par le suif,
Judas flairant Shylock et criant : c'est un juif !
L'arsenic indigné dénonçant la morphine,
La hotte injuriant la borne, Messaline
Reprochant à Goton son regard effronté,
Et Dupin accusant Sauzet de lâcheté !

Oui, le vide-gousset flétrit le tire-laine,
Falstaff montre du doigt le ventre de Silène,
Lacenaire, pudique et de rougeur atteint,
Dit en baissant les yeux : J'ai vu passer Castaing !

Je contemple nos temps. J'en ai le droit, je pense.
Souffrir étant mon lot, rire est ma récompense.
Je ne sais pas comment cette pauvre Clio
Fera pour se tirer de cet imbroglio.
Ma rêverie au fond de ce règne pénètre,
Quand, ne pouvant dormir, la nuit, à ma fenêtre,
Je songe, et que là-bas, dans l'ombre, à travers l'eau,
Je vois briller le phare auprès de Saint-Malo.

Donc ce moment existe ! il est ! Stupeur risible !
On le voit ; c'est réel, et ce n'est pas possible.
L'empire est là, refait par quelques sacripants.
Bonaparte le Grand dormait. Quel guet-apens !
Il dormait dans sa tombe, absous par la patrie.
Tout à coup des brigands firent une tuerie
Qui dura tout un jour et du soir au matin ;
Napoléon le Nain en sortit. Le destin,
De l'expiation implacable ministre,
Dans tout ce sang versé trempa son doigt sinistre
Pour barbouiller, affront à la gloire en lambeau,
Cette caricature au mur de ce tombeau.

Ce monde-là prospère. Il prospère, vous dis-je !
Embonpoint de la honte ! époque callipyge !
Il trône, ce cokney d'Eglinton et d'Epsom,
Qui, la main sur son cœur, dit : Je mens, ergo sum.
Les jours, les mois, les ans passent ; ce flegmatique,
Ce somnambule obscur, brusquement frénétique,
Que Schœlcher a nommé le président Obus,
Règne, continuant ses crimes en abus.
Ô spectacle ! en plein jour, il marche et se promène,
Cet être horrible, insulte à la figure humaine !
Il s'étale effroyable, ayant tout un troupeau
De Suins et de Fortouls qui vivent sur sa peau,
Montrant ses nudités, cynique, infâme, indigne,
Sans mettre à son Baroche une feuille de vigne !
Il rit de voir à terre et montre à Machiavel
Sa parole d'honneur qu'il a tuée en duel.
Il sème l'or ; - venez ! - et sa largesse éclate.
Magnan ouvre sa griffe et Troplong tend sa patte.
Tout va. Les sous-coquins aident le drôle en chef.
Tout est beau, tout est bon, et tout est juste ; bref,
L'église le soutient, l'opéra le constate.
Il vola ! Te Deum. Il égorgea ! cantate.

Lois, mœurs, maître, valets, tout est à l'avenant.
C'est un bivouac de gueux, splendide et rayonnant.
Le mépris bat des mains, admire, et dit : courage !
C'est hideux. L'entouré ressemble à l'entourage.
Quelle collection ! quel choix ! quel Œil-de-boeuf !
L'un vient de Loyola, l'autre vient de Babeuf !
Jamais vénitiens, romains et bergamasques
N'ont sous plus de sifflets vu passer plus de masques.
La société va sans but, sans jour, sans droit,
Et l'envers de l'habit est devenu l'endroit.
L'immondice au sommet de l'état se déploie.
Les chiffonniers, la nuit, courbés, flairant leur proie,
Allongent leurs crochets du côté du sénat.
Voyez-moi ce coquin, normand, corse, auvergnat :
C'était fait pour vieillir bélître et mourir cuistre ;
C'est premier président, c'est préfet, c'est ministre.
Ce truand catholique au temps jadis vivait
Maigre, chez Flicoteaux plutôt que chez Chevet ;
Il habitait au fond d'un bouge à tabatière
Un lit fait et défait, hélas, par sa portière,
Et griffonnait dès l'aube, amer, affreux, souillé,
Exhalant dans son trou l'odeur d'un chien mouillé.
Il conseille l'état pour ving-cinq mille livres
Par an. Ce petit homme, étant teneur de livres
Dans la blonde Marseille, au pays du mistral,
Fit des faux. Le voici procureur général.
Celui-là, qui courait la foire avec un singe,
Est député ; cet autre, ayant fort peu de linge,
Sur la pointe du pied entrait dans les logis
Où bâillait quelque armoire aux tiroirs élargis,
Et du bourgeois absent empruntait la tunique
Nul mortel n'a jamais, de façon plus cynique,
Assouvi le désir des chemises d'autrui ;
Il était grinche hier, il est juge aujourd'hui.
Ceux-ci, quand il leur plaît, chapelains de la clique,
Au saint-père accroupi font pondre une encyclique ;
Ce sont des gazetiers fort puissants en haut lieu,
Car ils sont les amis particuliers de Dieu
Sachez que ces béats, quand ils parlent du temple
Comme de leur maison, n'ont pas tort ; par exemple,
J'ai toujours applaudi quand ils ont affecté
Avec les saints du ciel des airs d'intimité ;
Veuillot, certe, aurait pu vivre avec Saint-Antoine.
Cet autre est général comme on serait chanoine,
Parce qu'il est très gras et qu'il a trois mentons.
Cet autre fut escroc. Cet autre eut vingt bâtons
Cassés sur lui. Cet autre, admirable canaille,
Quand la bise, en janvier, nous pince et nous tenaille,
D'une savate oblique écrasant les talons,
Pour se garer du froid mettait deux pantalons
Dont les trous par bonheur n'étaient pas l'un sur l'autre.
Aujourd'hui, sénateur, dans l'empire il se vautre.
Je regrette le temps que c'était dans l'égout.
Ce ventre a nom d'Hautpoul, ce nez a nom d'Argout.
Ce prêtre, c'est la honte à l'état de prodige.
Passons vite. L'histoire abrège, elle rédige
Royer d'un coup de fouet, Mongis d'un coup de pied,
Et fuit. Royer se frotte et Mongis se rassied ;
Tout est dit. Que leur fait l'affront ? l'opprobre engraissé.
Quant au maître qui hait les curieux, la presse,
La tribune, et ne veut pour son règne éclatant
Ni regards, ni témoins, il doit être content
Il a plus de succès encor qu'il n'en exige ;
César, devant sa cour, son pouvoir, son quadrige,
Ses lois, ses serviteurs brodés et galonnés,
Veut qu'on ferme les veux : on se bouche le nez.

Prenez ce Beauharnais et prenez une loupe ;
Penchez-vous, regardez l'homme et scrutez la troupe.
Vous n'y trouverez pas l'ombre d'un bon instinct.
C'est vil et c'est féroce. En eux l'homme est éteint
Et ce qui plonge l'âme en des stupeurs profondes,
C'est la perfection de ces gredins immondes.

À ce ramas se joint un tas d'affreux poussahs,
Un tas de Triboulets et de Sancho Panças.
Sous vingt gouvernements ils ont palpé des sommes.
Aucune indignité ne manque à ces bonshommes ;
Rufins poussifs, Verrès goutteux, Séjans fourbus,
Selles à tout tyran, sénateurs omnibus.
On est l'ancien soudard, on est l'ancien bourgmestre ;
On tua Louis seize, on vote avec de Maistre ;
Ils ont eu leur fauteuil dans tous les Luxembourgs ;
Ayant vu les Maurys, ils sont faits aux Sibours ;
Ils sont gais, et, contant leurs antiques bamboches,
Branlent leurs vieux gazons sur leurs vieilles caboches.
Ayant été, du temps qu'ils avaient un cheveu,
Lâches sous l'oncle, ils sont abjects sous le neveu.
Gros mandarins chinois adorant le tartare,
Ils apportent leur cœur, leur vertu, leur catarrhe,
Et prosternent, cagneux, devant sa majesté
Leur bassesse avachie en imbécillité.

Cette bande s'embrasse et se livre à des joies.
Bon ménage touchant des vautours et des oies !

Noirs empereurs romains couchés dans les tombeaux,
Qui faisiez aux sénats discuter les turbots,
Toi, dernière Lagide, ô reine au cou de cygne,
Prêtre Alexandre six qui rêves dans ta vigne,
Despotes d'Allemagne éclos dans le Rœmer,
Nemrod qui hais le ciel, Xercès qui bats la mer,
Caïphe qui tressas la couronne d'épine,
Claude après Messaline épousant Agrippine,
Caïus qu'on fit césar, Commode qu'on fit dieu,
Iturbide, Rosas, Mazarin, Richelieu,
Moines qui chassez Dante et brisez Galilée,
Saint-office, conseil des dix, chambre étoilée,
Parlements tout noircis de décrets et d'olims,
Vous sultans, les Mourads, les Achmets, les Sélims,
Rois qu'on montre aux enfants dans tous les syllabaires,
Papes, ducs, empereurs, princes, tas de Tibères !
Bourreaux toujours sanglants, toujours divinisés,
Tyrans ! enseignez-moi, si vous le connaissez,
Enseignez-moi le lieu, le point, la borne où cesse
La lâcheté publique et l'humaine bassesse !

Et l'archet frémissant fait bondir tout cela !
Bal à l'hôtel de ville, au Luxembourg gala.
Allons, juges, dansez la danse de l'épée !
Gambade, ô Dombidau, pour l'onomatopée !
Polkez, Fould et Maupas, avec votre écriteau,
Toi, Persil-Guillotine, au profil de couteau !

Ours que Boustrapa montre et qu'il tient par la sangle,
Valsez, Billault, Parieu, Drouyn, Lebœuf, Delangle !
Danse, Dupin ! dansez, l'horrible et le bouffon !
Hyènes, loups, chacals, non prévus par Buffon,
Leroy, Forey, tueurs au fer rongé de rouilles,
Dansez ! dansez, Berger, d'Hautpoul, Murat, citrouilles !

Et l'on râle en exil, à Cayenne, à Blidah !
Et sur le Duguesclin, et sur le Canada,
Des enfants de dix ans, brigands qu'on extermine,
Agonisent, brûlés de fièvre et de vermine !
Et les mères, pleurant sous l'homme triomphant,
Ne savent même pas où se meurt leur enfant !
Et Samson reparaît, et sort de ses retraites !
Et, le soir, on entend, sur d'horribles charrettes
Qui traversent la ville et qu'on suit à pas lents,
Quelque chose sauter dans des paniers sanglants !
Oh ! laissez ! laissez-moi m'enfuir sur le rivage !
Laissez-moi respirer l'odeur du flot sauvage !
Jersey rit, terre libre, au sein des sombres mers ;
Les genêts sont en fleur, l'agneau paît les prés verts ;
L'écume jette aux rocs ses blanches mousselines ;
Par moments apparaît, au sommet des collines,
Livrant ses crins épars au vent âpre et joyeux,
Un cheval effaré qui hennit dans les cieux !

Jersey, le 24 mai 1853.
CommonStory Mar 2016
I had s nightmare
That I changed the
It helped every generation
Boys and girls
I had a dream
That everything was the same
It didn't really change any perspective anyway
I had a nightmare
That we were standing right screaming Revolution resolution and restitution
I had a dream that I lived in America twin condo and ciroc with a girl named Eric
I had a nightmare
Everyone was happy
We all would fight
For the world and what happened
I had a dream that I was a black activist
Dying for the truth and my truth only is what mattered then
I had a nightmare that I spared the differences of unity and freedom and how equality isn't fair because we are equally different from where we're from
I woke up
Frustrated
Upset
Joyous
Happy
Contant
Realized what I had
Past present future
And now I make decisions
Because I'm only getting older
And its all just controversy
Trying to hurt me
Copyright Matthew Marquis Xavier Donald 3/8/16
Im a Friend Feb 2015
I wanted you to know I did hear you and for the second thing this is the second time in writing this because it got deleted. I'm always here if you need me, I may have not shown it but all you got to do it pick up the phone and call it. I'm a bit taller if you remember, but you would be the only one who would remember the past me, for only you could see. The true me, although I may seem a different person to you. I'm still the old me and you thought I broke free from the nonsense, but I really just stepped into more contant *******, but If I could take a pick I would take a leap forward to future, past the high school phase and all these pointless days, in constant distress, dazed in confusion, but I didn't come to a conclusion I know this is out of the blue but I still do love you. Don't be afraid to come to me because I'll be here, my first peom I wrote for you was ten times better. To add to it, would you like to be my friend again?
I would live to remove you from your past and the pain but it's not possible, you got to be strong, if it was me I would have torn that ******* to pieces if I saw him them or whoever is abusive I have no tolerance for that ****. I will defend you and I am here.
Pauline Morris Feb 2016
I laid on my bed and watched the storms last night
Seeing the beautiful lightning such a wonderful sight
I didn't even mind being there alone
I guess the loneliness I've out grown

The lightning struck so much my room was contant noon
And the thunder just kept rolling like one melodious tone

I lay across my bed
With the window at my head
I love the fragrant smell
When the storms give it hell

I watched it storm for hours
Wishing I could draw upon it's powers
Just how awesome would that be
To have people cower before me

I dreamed all night long of storms and thunder
It tore my dreams asunder
But in the morning light they where gone
And now I can't wait for them again to come along
Pauline Morris May 2016
I laid on my bed and watched the storms last night
Seeing the beautiful lightning such a wonderful sight
I didn't even mind being there alone
I guess the loneliness I've out grown

The lightning struck so much my room was contant noon
And the thunder just kept rolling like one melodious tone

I lay across my bed
With the window at my head
I love the fragrant smell
When the storms give it hell

I watched it storm for hours
Wishing I could draw upon it's powers
Just how awesome would that be
To have people cower before me

I dreamed all night long of storms and thunder
It tore my dreams asunder
But in the morning light they where gone
And now I can't wait for them again to come along
Ayesha Apr 2021
So there is this little jasmine
stolen by the wind
Away it soars with every gush
of blue
And shawls tease their women red
As foliage wingless flees, flees—
Litter and puppies down for a race
I have not been here before

Within these
swaying trees and woollen grounds
Yet I have—
Something smiles
but I cannot fathom where
My paw prints
etched upon every street
I am a stranger to this town
Its soft folks and gentle turns
Then the jasmine

giggles over winking waters
I reckon these smug faced clouds
kiss more than they tell
But I cannot assure
They have cooked up a charming brew
And I see, just in time, them pearls
and their shimmering armours
Tripping over,
And running over
—how very charming, indeed
embracing us with their lively touch

They laugh all around
And scare our dusty shadows away
I have wandered around
the notes of this song
—Wandered restless
Yet only now do I slumber
Only now do I hear—
the flirty gusts with their vivacious fingers
I am a fox

a squirrel, a wolf, an orange cat
a jasmine
Stolen by the wind
Plucked from a hollow branch,
deprived of my clawing bed
I tread through the beaming verses
of this obsolete ballad—
Tentative touches of those tipsy tulips
I’ve heard the tales
of their euphoria before
Much I had learned

back in my leafless den
But the grasses are golden here
and not at all deceptive
They yield lovingly around me
And how could the sparrows not chatter?
in my felicity
Wonder what’s making me cry
A pack of wolves
romps in my chest
the full moon of my heart
weeps, weeps, weeps
It is beautiful here

shops only whisper
and vehicles are patient
I’ve lurked at the edges of this poem
Yet only now do I fall
It is beautiful here
I am an owl, a rabbit,
a dolphin, an orange cat
a jasmine stolen

by the peachy yonder
I flutter my petals
over the freshly bathed meadows
In this vacant ember of my self
Moths lie contant,
and the trapped flame
shivers, shivers, shivers
— I cannot fathom
where, but
it is beautiful here

I am just happy dah
Un renard plein d'esprit, d'adresse, de prudence,
À la cour d'un lion servait depuis longtemps.
Les succès les plus éclatants
Avaient prouvé son zèle et son intelligence.
Pour peu qu'on l'employât, toute affaire allait bien.
On le louait beaucoup, mais sans lui donner rien ;
Et l'habile renard était dans l'indigence.
Lassé de servir des ingrats,
De réussir toujours sans en être plus gras,
Il s'enfuit de la cour ; dans un bois solitaire
Il s'en va trouver son grand-père,
Vieux renard retiré, qui jadis fut vizir.
Là, contant ses exploits, et puis les injustices,
Les dégoûts qu'il eut à souffrir,
Il demande pourquoi de si nombreux services
N'ont jamais pu rien obtenir.
Le bon homme renard, avec sa voix cassée,
Lui dit : mon cher enfant, la semaine passée,
Un blaireau mon cousin est mort dans ce terrier :
C'est moi qui suis son héritier,
J'ai conservé sa peau : mets-la dessus la tienne,
Et retourne à la cour. Le renard avec peine
Se soumit au conseil ; affublé de la peau
De feu son cousin le blaireau,
Il va se regarder dans l'eau d'une fontaine,
Se trouve l'air d'un sot, tel qu'était le cousin.
Tout honteux, de la cour il reprend le chemin.
Mais, quelques mois après, dans un riche équipage,
Entouré de valets, d'esclaves, de flatteurs,
Comblé de dons et de faveurs,
Il vient de sa fortune au vieillard faire hommage :
Il était grand vizir. Je te l'avais bien dit,
S'écrie alors le vieux grand-père :
Mon ami, chez les grands quiconque voudra plaire
Doit d'abord cacher son esprit.
Nur Almaz Aug 2015
I am definitely in love with a stranger.
He's physically there, yet, not.
You see his face, but his eyes seem lost.
You feel the connection, but it's always on loose ends.

It's like a game of tug of war,
Of contant pulling and tugging,
but with no exact winner.

And when someone does win,
the other person falls.
The other person always does.
Unis dès leurs jeunes ans
D'une amitié fraternelle,
Un lapin, une sarcelle,
Vivaient heureux et contents.
Le terrier du lapin était sur la lisière
D'un parc bordé d'une rivière.
Soir et matin nos bons amis,
Profitant de ce voisinage,
Tantôt au bord de l'eau, tantôt sous le feuillage,
L'un chez l'autre étaient réunis.
Là, prenant leurs repas, se contant des nouvelles,
Ils n'en trouvaient point de si belles
Que de se répéter qu'ils s'aimeraient toujours.
Ce sujet revenait sans cesse en leurs discours.
Tout était en commun, plaisir, chagrin, souffrance ;
Ce qui manquait à l'un, l'autre le regrettait ;
Si l'un avait du mal, son ami le sentait ;
Si d'un bien au contraire il goûtait l'espérance,
Tous deux en jouissaient d'avance.
Tel était leur destin, lorsqu'un jour, jour affreux !
Le lapin, pour dîner venant chez la sarcelle,
Ne la retrouve plus : inquiet, il l'appelle ;
Personne ne répond à ses cris douloureux.
Le lapin, de frayeur l'âme toute saisie,
Va, vient, fait mille tours, cherche dans les roseaux,
S'incline par-dessus les flots,
Et voudrait s'y plonger pour trouver son amie.
Hélas ! S'écriait-il, m'entends-tu ? Réponds-moi,
Ma sœur, ma compagne chérie ;
Ne prolonge pas mon effroi :
Encor quelques moments, c'en est fait de ma vie ;
J'aime mieux expirer que de trembler pour toi.
Disant ces mots, il court, il pleure,
Et, s'avançant le long de l'eau,
Arrive enfin près du château
Où le seigneur du lieu demeure.
Là, notre désolé lapin
Se trouve au milieu d'un parterre,
Et voit une grande volière
Où mille oiseaux divers volaient sur un bassin.
L'amitié donne du courage.
Notre ami, sans rien craindre, approche du grillage,
Regarde et reconnaît... ô tendresse ! ô bonheur !
La sarcelle : aussitôt il pousse un cri de joie ;
Et, sans perdre de temps à consoler sa sœur,
De ses quatre pieds il s'emploie
À creuser un secret chemin
Pour joindre son amie, et par ce souterrain
Le lapin tout-à-coup entre dans la volière,
Comme un mineur qui prend une place de guerre.
Les oiseaux effrayés se pressent en fuyant.
Lui court à la sarcelle ; il l'entraîne à l'instant
Dans son obscur sentier, la conduit sous la terre ;
Et, la rendant au jour, il est prêt à mourir
De plaisir.
Quel moment pour tous deux ! Que ne sais-je le peindre
Comme je saurais le sentir !
Nos bons amis croyaient n'avoir plus rien à craindre ;
Ils n'étaient pas au bout. Le maître du jardin,
En voyant le dégât commis dans sa volière,
Jure d'exterminer jusqu'au dernier lapin :
Mes fusils ! Mes furets ! Criait-il en colère.
Aussitôt fusils et furets
Sont tout prêts.
Les gardes et les chiens vont dans les jeunes tailles,
Fouillant les terriers, les broussailles ;
Tout lapin qui paraît trouve un affreux trépas :
Les rivages du Styx sont bordés de leurs mânes ;
Dans le funeste jour de Cannes
On mit moins de romains à bas.
La nuit vient ; tant de sang n'a point éteint la rage
Du seigneur, qui remet au lendemain matin
La fin de l'horrible carnage.
Pendant ce temps, notre lapin,
Tapi sous des roseaux auprès de la sarcelle,
Attendait en tremblant la mort,
Mais conjurait sa sœur de fuir à l'autre bord
Pour ne pas mourir devant elle.
Je ne te quitte point, lui répondait l'oiseau ;
Nous séparer serait la mort la plus cruelle.
Ah ! Si tu pouvais passer l'eau !
Pourquoi pas ? Attends-moi... la sarcelle le quitte,
Et revient traînant un vieux nid
Laissé par des canards : elle l'emplit bien vite
De feuilles de roseau, les presse, les unit
Des pieds, du bec, en forme un batelet capable
De supporter un lourd fardeau ;
Puis elle attache à ce vaisseau
Un brin de jonc qui servira de câble.
Cela fait, et le bâtiment
Mis à l'eau, le lapin entre tout doucement
Dans le léger esquif, s'assied sur son derrière,
Tandis que devant lui la sarcelle nageant
Tire le brin de jonc, et s'en va dirigeant
Cette nef à son cœur si chère.
On aborde, on débarque ; et jugez du plaisir !
Non **** du port on va choisir
Un asile où, coulant des jours dignes d'envie,
Nos bons amis, libres, heureux,
Aimèrent d'autant plus la vie
Qu'ils se la devaient tous les deux.
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2017
oh i'm not being smug about it...
this article about a former
soldier, gay, tuning into
the london "vibe" of chem-***:
g.b.l., m.d.m.a.,
      something akin to
ammonia? cheaper drinking
****... ah! mephedrone...
no you're cool, i prefer my amber and
my schadenfreudekichert...
why the **** did i write it as
englosh -
    was it loshed or lashed
that mean you were
drunk silly in essex spreschen?
can't remember.
****!
i love german,
it's like writing
    organic compound
schematics! there's that oomph!
in it it...
          probably the best
way to take the **** out of a people
that say sorry too many times,
and have these psychiatric
orientation about eye-contant
within a commute -
  the ****? hardly conscious of it
in the first place...
   whatch'ah lookin' ut, ya mug?
that's an imitation of a scot
breeding with a cockney accent...
ooh... sore-e, sore-e... chirpsing
(flirting) with it...
but talk some chem-deutsche,
better still... spell it!
           the anglo-saxons reduced
the original schwäbischdeutsche
into shrapnel...
         the only place where
deutscherbschaft (german legacy)
exists in the english tongue:
is in chemistry...
              only chemistry expresses
the legacy of originating in german
for the anglo-sax...
        yeah... you do that,
i'm doing it now... i'm counting,
for some reason german words teach
you arithmetic of syllables,
and becoming a surgeon at the same time...
most notable when drunk,
e.g.? schwäbischdeutsche
           sch-waa-bisch-doy-t-ch-e(r);
well **** my silly jim...
              are more letters popping out
of their oyster-surd-shells?
              next thing you know,
         i'll be speaking mollusk, via french!
OnwardFlame Mar 2019
So this is just a time

Where I allow myself to give my heart to my work
I acknowledge the absence
I make peace with the solitude
The contant flurry of coming and going of working
Nonstop.

It's a time of holographic cds used as decorations
It's a time of pastels
Of embracing fire
Of dancing among the forest
The swamps, the pine leaves
Running naked past the past.

Never wanted this to happen to us
I wrote in blood
I could see us decaying all around me
I feel that every time it all falls apart.

Time for pizza
Gotta finish my wine
And find the time
To enjoy the freedom
The resilience
The choice to release.

— The End —